Understanding the Human Being: The Importance of the First Three Years of Life

by Silvana Q. Montanaro

The Importance of the First Three Years of Life

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education, Childrens

168 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

AWESOME book- especially the second half. I can't give it 5 stars though because I have a few issues with it (in fact half way through I wouldn't have given this more than 3 stars). So my biggest concern is that I think the author needs to elaborate more on or be more specific about feeding. She says feed the baby when hungry, but also not more frequently than I believe it was 2 hours (so the milk can digest), and she mentions scheduled feedings- I can't figure how all three are compatible! And she says don't just give the baby something something to eat (or suck on) when it cries but she seems at the same time to be saying TO feed it whenever it cries. I guess I wish she had some advice as to how to tell when the cry means "I'm hungry" vs. "I have a psychological need." And what about if the baby has a need to continue to suck even after it has eaten it's fill? She never mentions this possibility.

The author is VERY firm on breast feeding. However she does eventually devote some time to telling how to artificially feed if you must so that you still meet the baby's needs and send the right message about relationships and eating. And specifically she tells how to supplement if your body doesn't produce enough milk.

What I LOVE about this author is that she says you don't need to buy expensive things.... you just need to have a low bed and a right attitude towards the child. A corner space for them here and there. Looking at Montessori blogs and catalogues can be overwhelming. But she tells how anyone can do it, easily. She is down to earth that way and makes the goal seem more easily attainable. It's so encouraging. She preaches trust in the child.

[Lina Alsagient · Rating 5 out of 5]

Το πρώτο βιβλίο (ίσως και μοναδικό) που πρέπει να διαβάσει κάθε νέα μητέρα. Εξαιρετικότατο.
(ελάχιστα σημεία ανακριβή όπως δείχνουν σύγχρονες μελετες γύρω από το παιδί. Δεν επηρεάζουν το σύνολο όμως σε καμία περίπτωση!)

[Mara Cortona · Rating 5 out of 5]

An integrated summation of Montessori's teaching for the first 3 years of life, and a balanced look at the importance of preparing the child for self-actualization in an age when misapplications of attachment theory, infantilization, and deep underestimation of children's capacities are ubiquitous.

The infant is forming himself, physically and psychologically, from the first moments after birth. He is moving in a delicate spiral through phases of attachment and separation, through crises of birth, weaning, and opposition, and the adults in his life need to take great care to aid this process in order to produce a human being free of artificial dependencies and confident in his own worth and power.

Education requires a serious look the demands of the world the child will ultimately need to function i in and a deep understanding of his sensitive periods, so he can emerge whole and well-formed. This should be required reading for all parents and educators

Immediately practical, this book helped me to respond appropriately to my newborn's needs for movement and appropriate stimulation (rather than just oral satisfaction), and my two-year-old's need to be recognized and empowered as an individual through his crisis of opposition.

As an aside, I found it funny that Rudolf Steiner wrote a book of the same name -- it would be i nteresting to compare.

Quotes:

"The child is truly the father of the adult."
- Maria Montessori

"The individual's entire life is nothing but a process of giving birth to him or herself: in truth we are only fully born when we die."
- Erich Fromm

"The fundamental concept for educators is not to become an obstacle tin the development of the child."
- Maria Montessori

"Our brain is a perfect tool and can take the human being everywhere. It can give us a far richer life than we thought possible until now."
- Marcus Johnson, a biophysicist at John Hopkins University

"The task of educators is immense because human progress and world peace are in their hands."
- Maria Montessori in 1949, three yearsbefore her death, addressing the VIII International Montessori Congress in San Remo, Italy

[Gena · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were a lot of things that I liked about this book and I think it is beneficial for both teachers and parents of infants/toddlers. I especially enjoyed the toddler section because I felt the information really helps in providing clarity to what a toddler is going through. It is hard to actually find books that authentically respect a toddler and their development. This books has helped me cement my amazement for the first years of life.

Things I had a hard time with: Maybe it is because I've read so many natural pregnancy books, the pregnancy and newborn parts of the books were a lot of repetition of information I've already read many times before. It is nice to verify the info from a Montessori perspective, though I felt the infant section was very long, and I was hoping for a longer toddler section.

I also felt like the book could better explain the idea of infants being "bored" which I think gets misunderstood in our culture a lot. I would have appreciated more information on the dangers of over-stimulation and how it can happen easier than we think and that some behaviors might be the result of over-stimulation.

I'm also not too keen on some of the food information. Currently, it seems to be accepted that you should wait until 6 months to introduce solids, and that 4 months is a little early. With my own child, we waited until 6 months and didn't seem to have any issues with missing a sensitive period (they love eating a variety of foods and can independently eat as a toddler). I would love if there was more information on this from a Montessori perspective. I also think the recommendation that breastfeeding should be completed by 8-9 months is a little strict. I think that a child at that age should be eating mostly solids, and that if a child is not longer interested, they shouldn't be forced to breastfeed. However, that doesn't mean there are no longer benefits or that I would also force the end to breastfeeding. Again, something that I would love more of a Montessori perspective, based in the information we now know. So like most books, take things with a grain of salt, but also appreciate all the valuable information!

[Fritze Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

While some of the concepts were interesting and helpful, much of it was redundant. Also, this book is not for anyone who adopts or is non-traditional. The emphasis is very much on the mother-baby relationship. While some of this was valuable, I think it was over-emphasized - it was at least half of the book. Also, the father was a side-note, even in this assumption of a "traditional" family. I kept waiting for us to get to years 2 and 3.
It's important to not that there are no scientific references, so it's hard to say where this information comes from or if it's just the opinion of the author.
Helpful concepts:
*An infant is born an intelligent being, with a human brain, ready to learn and interact with it's environment.
*Forcing things into the mouth is an invasion of a person's body, and this applies even to the infant.
*Babies cry for reasons other than hunger, including boredom, a need for attention or entertainment, discomfort, etc.

I did really like the idea of respecting the infant and allowing one to interact with it's environment on (more or less) it's own terms so that it may learn. Understanding a baby's abilities (eg, an infants vision focuses at a distance of 18 inches) helps us provide appropriate stimuli for learning. Providing love, affection, and stimuli are just as important as feeding. And the attitude about weaning was nice - that infants should be allowed to put new foods we present them in their own mouth rather than us forcing something they may not like, or be ready for, into them.

I'd love to find an updated book about early child development, one that includes both parents, and includes some psychological/medical/scientific research.

[Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as part of my Infant/Toddler Montessori teaching training. This book has its pros and cons but overall is very useful for parents, teachers, and anyone who spends time with babies and/or young children.

PROS:
- Upholds Montessori's view of the child as inherently good and worthy of genuine respect from adults (takes small persons seriously, sees them as legitimate human beings)
- Points out many ways we unintentionally impede the development of infants and young children in a nonjudgmental way (seeks to educate, not blame)
- Advocates for inexpensive, simple, and practical materials rather than manufactured toys or high end equipment

CONS
- Sometimes contradicts itself, further clarification needed on some subjects
- Dated language/perspective around gender and intimate relationships (puts hetero, married parents as the default and ignores a lot of lived experience and variation in how children are conceived, born, and raised)
- Positions breast/bodyfeeding as the only good way to feed a baby (ignores the vast number of parents and caregivers who are, for what ever reason, unable to feed in this way)

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really excellent book! There is not too much written, it seems, about Montessori for babies. This book does an excellent job of helping you... understand the human being :)

There were lots of things that I liked about it, but I think that this book addresses quite well a topic that interests me quite a lot and which I find to be poorly addressed, which is the topic of teaching very small children/babies to behave in a way that is not dangerous for them and others, and how to instil a sense of respect for the environment and reduce the destructive behaviour that babies and toddlers are well known for.

Only time will tell whether the author's advice proves to be helpful, but I certainly hope that it will be!

[Rachel Stadler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the scientific beginning, really informative and good reminders about how much babies are developing and capable of in the very early days. Concrete motivation to provide an environment that supports them.

However, the last half literally made me Google if the author ever had her own kids—apparently, she did, which shocked me. A lot of absolutes as far as psychology and what children will respond to. As well as outdated information in regard to food and breastfeeding. Stating breastfeeding is unnecessary and should stop at 8 or 9 months or it will harm the child psychologically. Lol. Were we still there scientifically in the 90s?

[Omar Omar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can say that Dr. Silvana, through her book, has changed, in a way or in another, the way I look at people now. Now, I see the infant they used to be, and how they look like now says very much about how they used to be treated when they were 6 years or less. Actually, I have done the translation of this book, but during this long process of translation I haven't only taken the role of a translator, but also that of a father of a 3O-month child; and I can say that mostly all what I read in this particular book, I find it echoed in my kid.

[Eleonora Dimchevska · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has good overview of baby developing and main aspects of the baby go through. When we have in mind when the book has been written som of the information sounds progressives for that time. However some of the information, like introducing solids, is outdated and some of them can be choking hazards (like giving bread to 4 months old baby).

[Friendly Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

The overall content and message if this book is really inspiring and bang on (although very top line and vague) however the writing style and tone is difficult to overcome. It’s not a pleasant read, no flow, absolute/extreme diction and feels like an academic or scientific paper at times. A real shame because the message and content is really good but just annoying to actually read.

[Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part of it were enlightening. I particularly appreciated the chapters on embryonic development and movement. I did not agree with everything in the chapter on weaning; some of it just doesn't seem practical to me, as a mother.

[Ellen Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Early Childhood Development Book

[Maria Todorova-Takucheva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Интересно четиво! Накара ме да се замисля върху начина, по който трябва да възпитам детето си. Определено ме насочи към нова гледна точка и ще се постарая да направя всичко най-добро, следвайки някои препоръки от книгата. :)

[Rachel Manley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so important for all new moms to read, I only gave it four stars because it is kind of a chore to finish.

[Mercedes Thrush]

A clear explanation of the first years of human life and the aid we can lend to develop human potential to establish peace

[Denny Troncoso · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kids are humans. Give them respect and independence. Good book. Wish it had more nuggets for age 2.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have or are having a baby, this is an absolute must!

[dennisli · Rating 4 out of 5]

写得要点还行，太多废话。如果只抓重点说，至少能减一半的内容。

[Сузана Манова · Rating 4 out of 5]

Чудесна книга, но с много правописни грешки.

[Sohair · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book to start knowing about Montessori way . it is to the point and gives you a practical ideas to start dealing with your baby. highly recommended to read while pregnancy or catch it later like me :)

[Nohemi Lugo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A MUST read for every new parent! The best way to raise a child 0-3!