Hands Up!: A Year in the Life of an Inner City School Teacher

by Oenone Crossley-Holland

Dear Ms Crossley-Holland, I didn't Oink at you yesterday but I do admitAdmit I did oink it was a private joke between me and Billie. Know I do Admitt I should not of been making noises so I am sorry for making noises but yeah as I said I am only sorry for making noises. From Chantelle  When Oenone Crossley-Holland started teaching at an inner city school in London, she had no idea what to expect. She just knew that there was no going back. She would have one of the most challenging and overwhelming years of her life, in which she would get involved in the lives of some wonderfully (and sometimes horrifyingly) exuberant students, and find herself tested to the limit. In this colorful and moving account, Oenone tells of the lows and unexpected highs of the sharper end of teaching. Will she make it through the year? Will she make it through another day?  Hands Up!  is for anyone who's ever worked in a school or thought about teaching. It also gives a very clear answer to those who still believe that those who can't do, teach.

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published August 20, 2009

Reviews

[Rose]

This sucked. How on earth this ever got published, I have no idea. I did get a clue when I noticed the same unusual surname on a book of kids' stories, and found out that Crossley-Holland's father is a successful author.
You may think that this is a rather uncharitable thought, but Crossley-Holland is quite happy to admit, for example, that "I'd had my dad dictating essays on Beowulf down the phone to me while I was at university." Yeah.

If the author was as annoying to her students as she is to her readers, she deserved a lot more than she got in the classroom. It was like an endless stream of status updates from someone you went to school with who thinks their life and job are far more interesting than they are. I really and truly do not care about your consumption of tuna and toast, and it is beyond me how anyone can spend a year in an inner-city school and come out with so few stories of any interest whatsoever. She describes many of her less-than-inspiring lessons in excruciating detail (many of her favourites seem to involve kids standing on chairs to demonstrate various concepts, for some reason).

She's also damn whiny. Oh, I am so tired being a teacher and oh I have to write a book as well (someone should have strongly advised her not to bother), so that "I'm not sure I'm good enough at just looking after my own classes as it is." Great idea - now volunteer for an additional responsibility taking up more of time, even after people close to you give you advice like "I absolutely think you should not take it." She goes to Africa and gets sunburnt. Her response is to complain to her boyfriend, "Why didn't you warn me properly about the African sun?" (To save her further inconvenience, here's a tip for her: snow is cold, rain can make you wet, deserts are dry).

Still, the book is full of, uh, nuggets of classroom management advice. Why not follow a suggestion that you appoint a disobedient child to be your helper. This helper gets to hand out various coloured cards for good work or misdeeds, but best of all, "if there were people being really naughty she could steal their stuff to lock away into the filing cabinet of death". In an inner-city school, this is likely to incite at worst a stabbing and at best someone getting slashed with a dismantled pencil sharpener.

I would recommend this book to readers who want to put themselves in the shoes of one of the author's inner-city students: bored out of their minds as a self-absorbed, middle-class idiot babbles on endlessly about uninteresting twaddle.

[Julianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I honestly enjoyed the small nuggets of wisdom offered in this book, but honestly I didn't resonate with any of the characters except for the pupils. Oenone is painfully middle class, and it shows. I feel a lot of empathy for her students, but I don't think she did. She seems judgemental and self-interested. I will say it inspired me to keep a journal of my NQT year, because I'm certain it will be more entertaining and more... Heartening (reference to the book) a read than this. I encourage all teachers to do the same because It's likely theirs will be too- and indeed probably full of much more wisdom than this book.

[Renita D'Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me start with two health warnings: firstly don’t expect this to be a book of humorous anecdotes from a secondary school teacher; secondly, don’t attempt to read this if you happen to be in the profession or have an idea of what teaching is really like. The outcome? A tedious read that seemed to take far longer than a less than 300 page book should have done.

This book follows a secondary school English teacher who is training on the Teach First scheme which was in place several years ago. This was back when English curriculum was different both for Key Stage Three and GCSE. As such it makes the book a little bit more difficult to relate to, especially if you are newly qualified. Nonetheless, the trials and tribulations that Crossley-Holland faces are generic across the years and it certainly brought back memories for me from when I was in the teaching sector.

What I found most irritating was the fact that Crossley-Holland continues to moan about the amount of work required, the lack of time she has, and how tired she feels. Yet, on the flip side, she tends to spend most of the week-nights and weekends socialising and out late. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with this, but surely from a logical perspective she is simply making things worse for herself? If it is that difficult, don’t go out each night but instead spend the time doing some of this school work that you repeatedly hark on about. It is this which made me feel impatient to finish this book because I simply could not sympathise with someone who is not making things easier for herself.

The book’s chapters reflect the half terms of a school year. Within these chapters are breaks to show different episodes whilst Crossley-Holland is teaching. This definitely made it easier to dip in and out of but I do think it made the book feel like it was dragging on far longer than it actually was. On reflection I think this book is probably best enjoyed whilst read alongside something else. That way you don’t feel too committed to reading it, and just perhaps enjoy the anecdotes far more.

Although I haven’t read many other teaching books, I am sure there are far more enjoyable memoirs out there than ‘Hands Up!’ can offer. If you really want to have an insight into the teaching profession, you might want to give this a go. However, Crossley-Holland is simply irritating and I think there are better written examples on the shelves. Quite frankly I’m a bit disappointed I wasted time to read this and even now I think perhaps two stars is being a bit generous. On a final note, the author writes a column for a broadsheet newspaper so maybe her articles are far more interesting and enjoyable to read than this memoir.

[Kayleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as part of my preparation to join Teach First this summer. I found the stories thrilling and many of Holland's anecdotes are insightful.

I did feel, however, that she was, as many other readers have noted, quite whiny. At times I think she blames her social detachment and her slightly self-destructive lifestyle on the students she teaches.

I'm yet to be put off!

[Jessica]

Funny and understated in a very British way. Much less depressing than the other inner-city teacher memoirs I've been reading.