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The Emotional Calendar: Understanding Seasonal Influences and Milestones to Become Happier, More Fulfilled, and in Control of Your Life
A leading Harvard psychiatrist reveals how our emotional lives are profoundly shaped by the seasons, and how to recognize our own seasonal patterns and milestones In two decades of psychiatry practice, John R. Sharp has worked with many people who experienced the same emotional distresses at specific times of the year—a young woman who became depressed before Thanksgiving, a middle-aged man who felt anxious about making his summer travel plans, people who made uncharacteristically extreme decisions as spring approached. In The Emotional Calendar , Sharp reveals how environmental, psychological, and cultural forces profoundly affect the way we feel, and how the enduring effects of personal anniversaries can influence our moods and behavior year after year. Sharp also illustrates a wide range of individual responses to cultural phenomena: some people feel anxious at the start of a new school year or are undone by the prospect of tax season while others are buoyed by the start of a sports season. Sharp shows us how to recognize the milestones on our own emotional calendars, providing guidance for how to break stifling patterns and remedy destructive moods. This empathetic and deeply resonant book will help readers reach an emotional balance for the years ahead.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
July 9, 2013
According to John R Sharpour emotional calender is overlaid over the one we hang on the wall.After reading his genial, briskly written,thoughtful book, I agree that this idea is not simply a no brainer,but a crucial and oft overlooked aspect of our mental health.
"To understand your emotional calender you probably have to start thinking differently about your life," he begins with a challenge.He is an American psychiatrist after all. What gives his words weight are the findings of the multi-discipliary research team he assembled to investigate all aspects of seasonal influence on the sense of well being.Drawing from studies in science, psychology, anthropology,geophysics,meteorology and sociology as well far eastern techniques and his vast store of personal anecdotes and case histories,he contends that we are not as disconnected from the environment as we think.
"It does not take an earthquake to throw us off balance. The most fundamental of environmental conditions can affect our physical and emotional well being:in particular,light,temperature,and wind. If you disregard them...you put yourself in one or more kinds of peril." p91
This book does more than just list most of the perils that we are prone to encounter when we are overwhemed or run down and vulnerable. it is dedicated to increasing awareness of the factors that impinge on our physical and emotional homeostasis,affecting our sense of personal well being and everything we do."We can become so used to feeling anxious that we become incapable of recognizing it as anxiety at all," he observes.
I like it that his approach is proactive and practical,rather than reliant on esoteric diagnoses.
He rather normalizes what others might diagnose into submission. He does not shun the help of experts or, for the short tem,medication.but it's mindfullness that he recommends for the long term.He's kind like the Huna shamans in that way, and their proverb 'whatever works is true'
Read the book to identify your emotional hotspots and gain "adaptive control".
Above all,don't stress.
"although our tendency is to keep ourselves nicely stable at all times,it's useful to understand that times of...challengecan lead to personal growth-as long as you have the right perspective and enough support." p23
He is mildly optimisitc.
"Maybe we're a little sad,a little sick, or maybe we're really excited,but we're not out of control." p22 Becoming mindful of our own emotional calender as well as others gives us that much of an edge to carry on happy productive lives,respectful of all the signs and signals of each season.
"To understand your emotional calender you probably have to start thinking differently about your life," he begins with a challenge.He is an American psychiatrist after all. What gives his words weight are the findings of the multi-discipliary research team he assembled to investigate all aspects of seasonal influence on the sense of well being.Drawing from studies in science, psychology, anthropology,geophysics,meteorology and sociology as well far eastern techniques and his vast store of personal anecdotes and case histories,he contends that we are not as disconnected from the environment as we think.
"It does not take an earthquake to throw us off balance. The most fundamental of environmental conditions can affect our physical and emotional well being:in particular,light,temperature,and wind. If you disregard them...you put yourself in one or more kinds of peril." p91
This book does more than just list most of the perils that we are prone to encounter when we are overwhemed or run down and vulnerable. it is dedicated to increasing awareness of the factors that impinge on our physical and emotional homeostasis,affecting our sense of personal well being and everything we do."We can become so used to feeling anxious that we become incapable of recognizing it as anxiety at all," he observes.
I like it that his approach is proactive and practical,rather than reliant on esoteric diagnoses.
He rather normalizes what others might diagnose into submission. He does not shun the help of experts or, for the short tem,medication.but it's mindfullness that he recommends for the long term.He's kind like the Huna shamans in that way, and their proverb 'whatever works is true'
Read the book to identify your emotional hotspots and gain "adaptive control".
Above all,don't stress.
"although our tendency is to keep ourselves nicely stable at all times,it's useful to understand that times of...challengecan lead to personal growth-as long as you have the right perspective and enough support." p23
He is mildly optimisitc.
"Maybe we're a little sad,a little sick, or maybe we're really excited,but we're not out of control." p22 Becoming mindful of our own emotional calender as well as others gives us that much of an edge to carry on happy productive lives,respectful of all the signs and signals of each season.
July 7, 2012
This was disappointing. The author seems interested in repeating himself with dull and pretty basic information rather than adding real value and insight into the world. There also didn't seem to be any resolution for his patients. They are able to identify that a certain time of year is painful, yet he reminds them that it will be painful every year. How about working on resolving it, rather than learning to cope through it? I listened to the audio version as I painted my closet today. I would have turned it off if I didn't have paint all over my hands!
December 1, 2014
I don't know exactly what I was looking for in this book, but I know I wanted something a little deeper than "some people get depressed in the winter because it's dark, some people get depressed on their birthday because they're getting older, some people get depressed on Valentine's day because they're lonely". I'm not a Harvard MD like the author, so I don't know if there's a medical term for DUH.
November 17, 2013
This book arrived in my house and I thought I was being made fun of a little, but I read it and it was remarkably comforting. As a person who grew up in one very extreme climate (one which always felt right to me) and who now lives in a completely different, also rather extreme climate, I often feel off-kilter in weather-related ways when those around me do not.
I am regularly mocked for this off-kilterness both in person and on social media. There is some expectation, apparently, that if you live in a certain kind of place *long enough* it will become "normal" to you, or that things you hate you will begin to like. My new metaphor for this expectation is marriage. What if you had to, for mostly economic reasons, marry a person you didn't like. Maybe you don't despise the person, but about 50% of their qualities you really.do.not.appreciate, and maybe 25% are only barely tolerable, and another 25% are fine or sometimes even quite nice. Even after several years of being married to this person, you would probably still not *want* to be in that marriage, when you know there are perfectly lovely people who are more like 75% fine-to-nice out there to spend eternity with instead.
Anyway. This book makes it abundantly clear that I am not alone in finding various seasons and kinds of weather immeasurably upsetting. Sharp is also quick to point out that with "seasonal depression, it is a medical condition that causes [people] to feel fatigued and dispirited, not a personal weakness, not a character flaw or failing" (25).
He also offers significant evidence that *everyone* is affected by the weather (as well as the date or season), and by the weather failing to live up to expectations, though to different degrees and *in different ways* by different kinds.
There are those who are bothered by sunny days the way I am bothered by cloudy days. There are others who, like me, find chilly days very uncomfortable, and far worse than freezing cold days. And there are those who, like me, basically fake their way through winter, waiting to feel alive again, and who do a small cheer on 21 December because even though there is way more cold to come, it's going to start getting lighter day by day, minute by minute. (And, likewise, there are others who start to feel a bit concerned, even in June, when the sunlight already starts disappearing day by day in the inevitable march toward winter's greyness.)
Sharp suggests that empathy helps when people are feeling done in by the weather, or by the anniversary of something bad, or by other moments in the calendar that affect them in less-than-awesome ways. He also suggests that we gain new patterns as time goes by, and that things like damaging storms have long-lasting psychological impact, and will be added to our emotional calendars in some case for the rest of our lives. I had noticed doing this--remembering of bad storms where we've lost power; bracing for school being cancelled; worrying abstractly and feeling distracted by *something* at that time of year even when there.is.no.storm. Again, I was comforted to discover that others experience these storm (and trauma) anniversaries similarly.
My favorite story was of a patient who solved many of his issues with weather and depression by moving from New England to Arizona.
I also learned a lot. For example, it's not just me or my family who finds it harder to travel west than east. It's because the planet spins to the east, so our bodies--alll of our bodies--take more time to recover from moving that way. He says it's typical for people to take 24-hours per 1-hour time zone cross to recover. Whew.
He also explains that people with SAD (I'm pretty sure I have this thing) have circadian rhythms that don't match up with the sunlight changes--for example, instead of sleeping more while it's dark longer, they sleep less--with increased melatonin, they have an "evening insomnia" that results in tiredness and lethargy during the day (125). Indeed.
There are two quotes I don't want to forget from this book, so I'll end with them here:
Rachel says "winter had always been 'an eternal menacing gray sheet of clouds and an endless dirty stretch of icy roads, punctuated by periods of misery, of loneliness, and of despair.'" --a great description of how I, too, feel about it, but Sharp goes on to say that Rachel learned to see that her belief about this season didn't always match up with its reality (meaning there were good things about it), and that spring, which she saw as "a season of joy and renewal" often included problems (like fallen trees) that challenged that belief, too, so Sharp works to make even that utterly depressing winter quote into something of a learned lesson. (though if I recall right, this same woman keeps her heat cranked to 84 all winter now, and often refuses to go out with friends when it's cold, so there remains a very real dislike of winter for this woman, and I certainly can appreciate that.) (204)
And Emma, whose comments often seemed to take words directly from my brain, says this, "During the summer I actually live...And it feels so good to be alive. You can just exist in the summer and you don't even have to do anything necessarily to really enjoy it. The weather just invites you to take part in life." (11)
I am regularly mocked for this off-kilterness both in person and on social media. There is some expectation, apparently, that if you live in a certain kind of place *long enough* it will become "normal" to you, or that things you hate you will begin to like. My new metaphor for this expectation is marriage. What if you had to, for mostly economic reasons, marry a person you didn't like. Maybe you don't despise the person, but about 50% of their qualities you really.do.not.appreciate, and maybe 25% are only barely tolerable, and another 25% are fine or sometimes even quite nice. Even after several years of being married to this person, you would probably still not *want* to be in that marriage, when you know there are perfectly lovely people who are more like 75% fine-to-nice out there to spend eternity with instead.
Anyway. This book makes it abundantly clear that I am not alone in finding various seasons and kinds of weather immeasurably upsetting. Sharp is also quick to point out that with "seasonal depression, it is a medical condition that causes [people] to feel fatigued and dispirited, not a personal weakness, not a character flaw or failing" (25).
He also offers significant evidence that *everyone* is affected by the weather (as well as the date or season), and by the weather failing to live up to expectations, though to different degrees and *in different ways* by different kinds.
There are those who are bothered by sunny days the way I am bothered by cloudy days. There are others who, like me, find chilly days very uncomfortable, and far worse than freezing cold days. And there are those who, like me, basically fake their way through winter, waiting to feel alive again, and who do a small cheer on 21 December because even though there is way more cold to come, it's going to start getting lighter day by day, minute by minute. (And, likewise, there are others who start to feel a bit concerned, even in June, when the sunlight already starts disappearing day by day in the inevitable march toward winter's greyness.)
Sharp suggests that empathy helps when people are feeling done in by the weather, or by the anniversary of something bad, or by other moments in the calendar that affect them in less-than-awesome ways. He also suggests that we gain new patterns as time goes by, and that things like damaging storms have long-lasting psychological impact, and will be added to our emotional calendars in some case for the rest of our lives. I had noticed doing this--remembering of bad storms where we've lost power; bracing for school being cancelled; worrying abstractly and feeling distracted by *something* at that time of year even when there.is.no.storm. Again, I was comforted to discover that others experience these storm (and trauma) anniversaries similarly.
My favorite story was of a patient who solved many of his issues with weather and depression by moving from New England to Arizona.
I also learned a lot. For example, it's not just me or my family who finds it harder to travel west than east. It's because the planet spins to the east, so our bodies--alll of our bodies--take more time to recover from moving that way. He says it's typical for people to take 24-hours per 1-hour time zone cross to recover. Whew.
He also explains that people with SAD (I'm pretty sure I have this thing) have circadian rhythms that don't match up with the sunlight changes--for example, instead of sleeping more while it's dark longer, they sleep less--with increased melatonin, they have an "evening insomnia" that results in tiredness and lethargy during the day (125). Indeed.
There are two quotes I don't want to forget from this book, so I'll end with them here:
Rachel says "winter had always been 'an eternal menacing gray sheet of clouds and an endless dirty stretch of icy roads, punctuated by periods of misery, of loneliness, and of despair.'" --a great description of how I, too, feel about it, but Sharp goes on to say that Rachel learned to see that her belief about this season didn't always match up with its reality (meaning there were good things about it), and that spring, which she saw as "a season of joy and renewal" often included problems (like fallen trees) that challenged that belief, too, so Sharp works to make even that utterly depressing winter quote into something of a learned lesson. (though if I recall right, this same woman keeps her heat cranked to 84 all winter now, and often refuses to go out with friends when it's cold, so there remains a very real dislike of winter for this woman, and I certainly can appreciate that.) (204)
And Emma, whose comments often seemed to take words directly from my brain, says this, "During the summer I actually live...And it feels so good to be alive. You can just exist in the summer and you don't even have to do anything necessarily to really enjoy it. The weather just invites you to take part in life." (11)
January 16, 2023
It was a great read! Super informative on how the seasons, holidays and traumatic days can effect our mental health without us even realizing it. I love that it includes stories from patients as it puts everything into perspective with real-life examples thus making it easier to understand.
Also it also has some great tips and step by step guide on how you can try to create your own rational calander and bring awareness to certain things you've never even thought of and also how to properly deal with them.
I absolutely loves the part when it brought in nature as nature has a huge effect on our mental health so I read that part in super quick as I especially loved the content that part of the book contained.
Also it also has some great tips and step by step guide on how you can try to create your own rational calander and bring awareness to certain things you've never even thought of and also how to properly deal with them.
I absolutely loves the part when it brought in nature as nature has a huge effect on our mental health so I read that part in super quick as I especially loved the content that part of the book contained.
August 19, 2017
Disclaimer - I was the child who dreamed of becoming a Vulcan; hence, I have spent countless hours trying to understand the whats, hows and whys of my emotions. With that in mind, I found this book good but not great. It touches on the empowerment that comes from knowing what triggers your emotions, especially the weather changes and personal hot spots; however, the ending seemed rush.
April 13, 2023
Don't fool yourself into thinking you "get it". I think this book is simple, yet profound. These are annual/seasonal themes are often overlooked in our life. The concept is simple, but the realizations that I have from year to year take time and have been of great comfort, create the grace I've needed to prepare for my personal seasons. And for seasons yet to arrive. Grateful for this book!
November 11, 2017
I rather enjoyed this book and I think that’s largely because I borrowed the audiobook from my library instead of the paper copy. There was a lot of information I had already heard before but I still learned new information and I thought the advice, though pretty common knowledge, was useful.
January 4, 2025
This book was incredibly useful going through seasonal, cultural, and personal impacts of events and anniversaries for well being. The emphasis on weather, climate, and our own histories and how they can continue to impact our patterns in ways of being even years later was eye opening.
July 7, 2018
This book helped me to understand myself a little better.
February 24, 2020
Redundit but some new info, & new ideas.
March 9, 2017
A warm and simple book about how understanding the seasons--of the year and of your life--can aid you in achieving psychological wellness.
I picked up this book to see if Western science has caught up with Ayurveda. It hasn't. But I did find interesting points of convergence in some of the preliminary research Sharp referenced.
Although I was expecting this to be more of an information-heavy book, and it turned out to be more of a self-help-y book, it was written in such a warm, caring, and genuine tone I wound up appreciating it. It probably didn't hurt that halfway through the book I found myself going through a rough time and felt that Sharp's calm psychiatrist voice was helpful. I can see myself skimming through this in rough times in the future as well.
Favorite Quote: “The stress and anxiety that come with anticipating a disaster can cause genuine distress of a kind that only the storm itself can ease” (146)
I picked up this book to see if Western science has caught up with Ayurveda. It hasn't. But I did find interesting points of convergence in some of the preliminary research Sharp referenced.
Although I was expecting this to be more of an information-heavy book, and it turned out to be more of a self-help-y book, it was written in such a warm, caring, and genuine tone I wound up appreciating it. It probably didn't hurt that halfway through the book I found myself going through a rough time and felt that Sharp's calm psychiatrist voice was helpful. I can see myself skimming through this in rough times in the future as well.
Favorite Quote: “The stress and anxiety that come with anticipating a disaster can cause genuine distress of a kind that only the storm itself can ease” (146)
February 16, 2011
This was such a disappointment. After hearing Dr. Sharp on NPR's "On Point" radio show, I got a deal on a brand new copy. Oy, I should have waited for the reviews. We all have "emotional hotspots" when it comes to a time in the year that is tender for you. For me, luckily, most are happy, my birthday coincides with the first bloom after winter, and Thanksgiving and Christmas are always happy times in my past and present and don't have any ill will toward them. On the other hand, I approach every July with trepidation after becoming severely ill a few years ago. I always thought it was me, why was I getting so anxious the second week in July? That time has passed and I'm healthy now. Even after almost eight years, I still get a bit worried, but I'm sure there will be a year when that will go by unnoticed. I guess I was hoping for this to be a tonic to help the reader approach these times--even winter. While he presented situations with a myriad of his patients, I found none of the situations applicable to me, nor did I find the solutions particularly helpful. Instead, I found him utterly repetitive. And for God's sake, we know, Dr. Bowtie, you have a cottage on Nantucket!! I can't stand it when a writer brings himself into the story as well. I guess he was showing his readers that he too has emotional hotspots, it's not just us poor laypeople. For me, though, it rang of elitism, since he lives on both coasts and mentioned that frequently. I usually don't stay with books if I don't like them; with this, I kept hoping for the nugget or two of brilliance, but that never happened.
April 6, 2011
Sharp's thesis is that our mood and behavior are substantially affected by our own personal emotional calendar. Our emotional calendar is culmination of events, biology, nature (sun, season, time), festivals, and other experiences with friends and family. Understanding our own personal patterns will help us better deal with those influences on our emotional health, mood and behavior.
Sharp builds his argument using numerous case studies and examples. While interesting, the content quickly becomes dry and redundant. That said, periodically he introduced a few interesting tidbits and thought provoking implications.
About 2/3rds of the way through he starts to work through the implications and complications of these case studies. This is where he finally catches his stride. Unfortunately, he only quickly addresses the 'so what can I do about it' subject with a few ambiguous responses ('it depends! it's different for each person!) and then ends the book quickly.
Overall: an interesting idea. However, the book reads more like a journal article. There are some good nuggets buried inside, but it can take some slogging to get there.
Sharp builds his argument using numerous case studies and examples. While interesting, the content quickly becomes dry and redundant. That said, periodically he introduced a few interesting tidbits and thought provoking implications.
About 2/3rds of the way through he starts to work through the implications and complications of these case studies. This is where he finally catches his stride. Unfortunately, he only quickly addresses the 'so what can I do about it' subject with a few ambiguous responses ('it depends! it's different for each person!) and then ends the book quickly.
Overall: an interesting idea. However, the book reads more like a journal article. There are some good nuggets buried inside, but it can take some slogging to get there.
March 23, 2011
Saw this on a blog and had to get it. It's been loaded into the kindle app and I've read the first few pages.
Eta: I've now finished, and I'm still not sure of my reaction. On the one hand, it's nice to see all of the reasons for having a crappy winter all recognized by a psychiatrist, however, I thought he said the same thing in other words too many times.
This could have been an amazing book. As it is now, it's merely a good book. Annotated and indexed, but without a lot of solid meat. Aah well. It was interesting to read the multicultural aspects of seasonal mindfulness.
Eta: I've now finished, and I'm still not sure of my reaction. On the one hand, it's nice to see all of the reasons for having a crappy winter all recognized by a psychiatrist, however, I thought he said the same thing in other words too many times.
This could have been an amazing book. As it is now, it's merely a good book. Annotated and indexed, but without a lot of solid meat. Aah well. It was interesting to read the multicultural aspects of seasonal mindfulness.
November 21, 2011
Interesting. He talks about considering the month-to-month calendar, the seasonal calendar (of where-ever you live), and your own emotional calendar, especially paying attention to when your own "hotspots" (like Xmas for me!@#) overlap with other "rough weather/stressful events" to really agitate you.
I would agree with this reviewer's comments though:
"Unfortunately, he only quickly addresses the 'so what can I do about it' subject with a few ambiguous responses ('it depends! it's different for each person!) and then ends the book quickly."
I would agree with this reviewer's comments though:
"Unfortunately, he only quickly addresses the 'so what can I do about it' subject with a few ambiguous responses ('it depends! it's different for each person!) and then ends the book quickly."
September 15, 2011
I enjoyed this book. It was an easy read and was not perhaps full of new ideas, but the ideas were presented in a good way. I did find the task of looking through each month and how I feel about each month to be very useful. I did discover why certain months are very stressful for me, while other months I bask in its days. I think it was a fun read and would recommend it if someone has a particular time of year that they dread. This book might provide some insight.
March 8, 2011
I enjoyed this book. I liked how he used case studies to show our emotional "hotspots." It wasn't until the last few chapter that he actually had suggestions to make it better. Most of his examples were on some kind of medication for depression, bi-polar or SAD. The best point he made for me is to acknowledge your "bad spell" is approaching and try to find something happy to even out your mood/depression.
March 19, 2011
I thought this book might be more interesting than it was. I hope Mr. Sharp is a better therapist than he is a writer. I got as far as the woman who gets depressed in summer because it's hot and humid. There was also a young woman who got sad at Christmas because it reminded her of a bad breakup. Not only were the case histories dull, but Sharp never made it clear how he was helping these folks. Perhaps this came later in the book, but life is too short for me to wait around to find out.
May 2, 2013
A discussion of the emotional, seasonal, and cultural milestones that impact our health and moods with guidance on how to break stifling patterns to achieve balance throughout the year. Much of the information is in the mainstream, but there were several insightful observations and useful tips. The book serves as a reminder to be attentive to the connection between moods, seasons, and our personal history.
November 25, 2011
In the interest of full disclosure, let me say that I quit reading this book about half way through. From what I did manage to read, I learned two things: 1. Examining your own seasonal emotional triggers can help create a smoother transition into the seasons that are difficult for you (duh). 2. Reading this book, however, will not help you at all.
September 12, 2011
I'm not sure I have ever not finished a book, but this was one was just too painful and boring to finish. While the idea that our moods can be affected by the seasons seemed like an interesting read it just was not.
October 22, 2010
Found this at work. Loved the first 2 chapters then fell asleep reading it on the subway. Left it on my seat and happily watched it whoosh away!
May 19, 2011
This was interesting, but not as helpful as I thought it would be. I thought I might get some tips on how to manage through the winters I despise so. :-)
February 22, 2011
accessible insights into the effects of nature - seasons, sun, darkness, time - and man made cycles - holidays, birthdays - on our mental well being
August 4, 2011
I thought this book would be more interesting than it was...I was disappointed.
October 7, 2011
Good to read - maybe I can avoid my usual winter blahs this January, February, and March!
August 15, 2012
As usual for me, I enjoyed the case studies that were shared. I did not learn much new information.
November 1, 2012
Yeah, I agree, now tell me more than 4 things I can do to make things better!
September 26, 2016
Fascinating! An insightful look at how to recognize your own emotional triggers whether they are tripped by weather patterns, a cultural calendar, or by your own experiences.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews