Legends of the Ferengi

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

by Ira Steven Behr, Robert Hewitt Wolfe

"Once you have their money, never give it back." -- #1 "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money." -- #13 For centuries these and the other famous Ferengi "Rules of Acquisition' have been the guiding principles of the galaxy's most successful entrepreneurs. But the wisdom behind them was not won without a high cost in lives and latnium. Now at last these inspiring tales of avaricious Ferengi wresting monetary gain from the jaws of poverty are available to the profit-hungry across the galaxy!

Genres: Star Trek, Science Fiction, Fiction, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Humor, Audiobook, Media Tie In

190 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 1997

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fun read, had me chuckling to myself while out walking. I have to listen to the audiobook read by Quark himself.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh this did make me chuckle. Just having re-watched DS9, Quark's voice was fresh in my mind while reading this. A nice little read but it didn't include the (unofficial) rule #286 :

"When Morn leaves, it's all over"

[Tamara✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so god damn glad I decided to listen to this on audiobook o m g... If you read it yourself you are HUGELY missing out. Shimerman is playing Quark who is telling us about Ferengi legends. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?!? I was cackling so much. I wish there was a sequel.. But now I know. If a Star Trek actor is reading a Star Trek novel, just listen to it instead because it will be MILES better than anything you can hear in your own head.

[Davina · Rating 5 out of 5]

YOU MUST GET THE AUDIOBOOK. I'm not kidding. It's a jewel.

[Steven Shinder · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wish I could do half stars, because this is more of a 3.5, and I wouldn't feel right putting it on par with other Trek books I've rated 4 stars. I read the Kindle version and also listened to the abridged audiobook read by Armin Shimmerman. The former has pictures in black and white, and the ladder skips some of the Rules of Acquisition that are present in the former but makes up a bit with Quark's comedic delivery. The audio also includes music, and some of it just sounds like typical SpongeBob music, to be honest. I can see how the text can feel listy, and to be honest I don't see why anyone would want to revisit it. Big yikes to the "Always have sex with the boss" advice. For some reason, the audio omits the ending of the original text, which is a shame because I thought it was pretty funny.

[Daniel Kukwa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always entertaining, and occasionally laugh-out-loud hilarious (many of the names of famous/infamous Ferengi of ages past will have you in stitches). This is a delightful work from the writers behind the Ferengi TV episodes of the first 5 seasons of DS9...and we are lucky they paused long enough in their corporate futuristic machinations to give us this gift. Just another example of why the Trekverse is lucky to have DS9.

[Cheyenne · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐

Legends of the Ferengi by Quark as told to Ira Steven Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolf is a collection of fables, folk songs, philosophical meditations, and outright lies based on the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition from Star Trek: Deep Space 9.

This was a hilarious read that I heard in Armin Shimmerman's voice the whole time. Quark enlightens and entertains us with Ferengi history and myths, while also giving financial advice. It perfectly encapsulates Ferengi greed and rampant capitalism and consumerism.

I love finding these random Star Trek books at thrift stores. This was a short, fun book!

[Frank Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just like the Ferengi themselves this book of lore is sometimes hilarious, sometimes brutal, sometimes wise and sometimes just cheap filler.... and I wouldn't trust a single word of it.

This is a fantastic idea for a book and it is a lot of fun. I think I would have preferred fewer rules if we would have been given longer 'Legends' instead. But anything that adds depth to the Ferengi is good and this does do a little of that.

I would like to do the audiobook version.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tales of the Ferengi, as told by Quark. I have this on audiobook, so it is narrated by Armin... I mean Quark. Quark tells tales of the Ferengi to you and tries to sell you things. I loved every moment of my nostalgia.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

worth every slip of latinum I paid for it (~$1). every page had me laughing and wanting to quote it out loud to whomever was nearby (usually my guinea pigs).

[Mayaj · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook cured my diabeetus.

[Gwen Maddela-potter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Quark and listening to Armin Shimmerman read this was really enjoyable.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite being abridged, this is probably my favorite Star Trek audiobook. Armin Shimerman was masterful.

[R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

i FORGOT to log that i finished this yesterday so doing it now... this is sort of inline with the other ferengi book, Rules of Acquisition, in that it isn't a storybook with lots of reading material, but a light novelty book. this one does have a lot more substance than the rules of acquisition though, and that i was very appreciative for!!!!! in my other review i mentioned that the fact there are so many photos spanning entire pages of the book, and some pages that have only a half page worth of text and literally nothing else, i could have reason to complain about that, but because i am so endeared to the ferengi overall (quark most especially<3) i can't complain about the photos (theyre a lot better quality here than the other book as well, which im very happy about!) and the pages that are underutilized actually make sense if you consider the fact that this book is portrayed as being "written by quark". like it checks out that he would skim around as much actual work and content as possible, and if you consider it from that perspective, it's a rather cute detail imo..!

all in all, a fun and silly little read! even if the content seems dubiously canonical at times, it is still a very enjoyable expansion of ferengi lore and history! i'd honestly love more stuff like this, especially for the ferengi culture as a whole because i am just so fascinated by it for some reason....... i especially am fond of the page that insinuates all male ferengi are a little gay (rule 113). it's all very ridiculous, but a great time all around..<3

ALSO! i have not yet listened to it, but i am aware there is an abridged audiobook version of this, and i am incredibly excited to get to it! i would have liked to mention my thoughts on it here, but i wanted to get my thoughts out on this book before anything, so i won't bother... but i am EXTREMELY into the audiobooks that are narrated by the actors themselves in character, and quark is easily one of the best choices for the in character narrations (i know this because i have listened to the 34th rule audiobook, and that one was FANTASTIC... will elaborate once i've read and reviewed the entire book itself in the hopefully near future...)

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this volume at a discount while trying to find the latest volume of "Self-Sealing Stem Bolts and You: Just What Do They Do?". Legends of the Ferengi is penned by the (in)famous Ferengi entrepreneur Quark of Quark's Bar, Grill, etc. etc. (with new franchises opening near you!). The legends contain humorous insights into the Ferengi Rules of Acquisitions and other parts of Ferengi culture. It is a quick read (and I'm told he narrated an audio version that's likely worth a listen if you've got the lobes), but I think it was well worth the discounted price I paid for it.

After all, the Rule of Acquisition #141 states: Only a fool pays retail.

[Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent tale, told by Quark himself, about the Rules of Aquisition. I would highly suggest that you listen to this audiobook, as there are not only sound effects to accompany the narration but also the actor who plays Quark on DS9 voices the audiobook.

Then there are the little tidbits of information and jokes sprinkled throughout this book. It made me laugh at many different times. Anyone who has watched Star Trek DS9 will love and appreciate this audiobook. I give it a five out of five.

[Lois Merritt · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's another abridged audio from an older Trek book, so do not know how it really compares... but who cares - I loved how Armin Shimerman (aka Quark on DS9) narrated this! He was so much fun with what he read and performed! The substance of this is some of the stories (the legends part of the title) of past historical events of the Ferengi that inspired some of the rules of acquisition. Lots of fun and craziness to be had for an hour and a half.

[Mike Jozic · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'd go 2.5 stars if you're listening to the audiobook version as Shimmerman, in the role of Quark, brings this material to life in a way just reading it does not. Also, I'm not a huge fan of abridged audiobooks and most Star Trek books from this period are woefully recorded as such.

As it is, this was an hour and a half of fun distraction and humorous ferengi anecdotes read by my favourite ferengi so it was pretty painless.

[Kristina Moses · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it extremely funny. To the point that I embarrassingly started laughing out loud at work while everyone else was being completely silent 😂 One of my favorite quotes from the book: "They used to say beware Romulans bearing gifts. Nowadays it's beware exiled members of the Obsidian Order who offer to hem your trousers"

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for a SFA cadets

The book provides the necessary insight in the Ferengi Culture to all others to safely (& profitably) interact with them. It is highlighted with stories, anecdotes, and likely more than a few lies. But on the bottom line (important to hew-mons and Ferengi alike), it’s a good, quick, and enjoyable read.

[James Crawford · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun book, taking the 285 Rules of Acquisition (not all of them of course) and running with that. One thing I didn't know was that the planet of the Ferengi originally had two intelligent species on it.

The whole thing is written from Quark's viewpoint and you can almost hear him speaking the words. I enjoyed it a lot.

[Honor · Rating 5 out of 5]

ok i recommend this even if you're not a big star trek guy. super short but really fucking funny. these guys are so stupid. i know the commentary on capitalism and societal problems is interesting and all but this book leans into the more comedic aspects of the ferengi. never forget: star trek universe is pretty aggressively post-scarcity. the ferengi live specifically like this entirely on purpose. listening to the audiobook (voiced by the actor who plays quark!) w my siblings and mom in the car was truly a delight. the sound effects and jingles in the audiobook are So Aggressively 90s. i love the world and being alive

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though there are lots of bit of wisdom in this book, please if you are still human do not make the rules of acquisition your new religion. This book is amusing, maybe not for young impressionable children. This is a good read.

[F.R. Southerland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, this was fun to listen to. I honestly didn't expect the sound effects, but it added to the in character reading. Armin Shimerman as Quark is always entertaining. Short, rambling, but fun. Recommended to fans of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, for sure.

[Rich P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this!

I really enjoyed this read! This book took me on a fun adventure ride through Ferengi history and culture solidifying Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, as the greatest Star Trek series!

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This veered into ASMR territory way more than anticipated

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

good book if you want to laugh! (Or shake your head in amazement.) I give it 3.5 stars.

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an entertaining LISTEN. As everyone else I’ve seen has said, you must listen to this to truly enjoy it I believe.

[Ezra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of fun but gets a bit repetitive. Perhaps I should listen to the audiobook version to get the full experience. As it stands, I think it's a solid 3.5 stars.