Fortytude : making the next decades the best years of your life-- through the 40s, 50s, and beyond

by Sarah Brokaw

In the book, I’ll explore these five Core Values in depth, and share the stories of the remarkable women who most embody them. These are women who have chosen to greet life’s challenges with fortitude instead of fear. They have overcome adversity, danced through life’s unpredictable turns, and found confidence, joy, and peace along the way. They are my inspiration, and I hope they will be yours, too. Let’s take what they’ve learned and use it to help us not only embrace the loss of youth and transcend our anxieties, but to celebrate the beginning of the rest of our lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Psychology

270 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Sarah Brokaw is a professional life coach and psychotherapist.

Brokaw graduated from Duke University, received her Masters in social work from New York University, and then received her license in clinical social work in both New York and California. Later, she received her certification in Evidence Based Coaching from Fielding University.

Reviews

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting observations by Ms. Brokaw who is not yet 40 but as a therapist treats many women who are older than she. I think it tries to cover too much too shallowly.

[Ericka Clou · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best chapter was the last chapter on spirituality. In general, though the book was too general. Furthermore, I got the impression that the author had not, at the time she wrote this book, suffered any real hardship so everything was a bit shallow. It's fine to observe the struggles of other people and make observations but there's a different tone and style an author takes when they have themselves suffered. Instead of scratching the surface and saying positive things, people who've suffered either dig deeper for solutions or throw up their hands in surrender in a way that at least makes me feel like they get it. Haha.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, by Sarah Brokaw (daughter of Tom) is very interesting, but sometimes depressing. The subtitle is: Making the Next Decades the Best Years of Your Life - through the 40s, 50s, and Beyond.

Some things I grasped very easily, while others could be a challenge. Still, it's up to me (you) how you live your life. :)

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard about this book right around the time I turned 40. So I thought it was perfect for me. Yet it took me nine years to pick it up to read. What I would say it’s not just for a woman in her forties. I read this book at the right time for me. I think anyone in their thirties, fifties, & sixties would get some valuable information. This book deals with most women’s biggest fear: aging & how we let go of dreams because we feel we are past our prime. I liked how it was broken down to five parts & all the real life examples. Basically it’s up to you to chase your dreams, but I feel this book gives you guidance & courage to do so.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm slightly turned off by other reviews that state the author not having hardships means she can't offer perspective. She shared stories of real women whom embodied the 5 core competencies and took the reader through several ways of dealing with life after the big 4 0. I will be taking several of these stories with me even if I can't implement all of them into my life, it showcases how to navigate the waters after society puts us in the invisible person category.

[Lisa Sim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I immensely enjoyed parts of this book and I did a lot of skimming and coming back to it. I love that it gives hope to the 40s and has a very positive tone. It shows that women still have MANY options in their 40s and that we don't have to follow a "set" path for marriage and children. I'm grateful to come across a book such as this one and would gladly read other books by Sarah Brokaw!

[Laura Gerber · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book did not tell me anything I did not already know and use in my own practice but put different terminology and metaphors to it that make good sense and may work with many of my clients. Good, practical book.

[reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just finished it today and I can't recall a thing in it except that it's very warm and encouraging to all types of women.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I might have enjoyed this morning if I had read it, rather than listening to the audiobook. Maybe.

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Brokaw uses her 10 years of exerience as a therapist to help talk women who are turning "The Big Four-Oh" down from the ledge. Apparently, this landmark age causes most women to question their choices, to give up on their dreams, and to fear the reaper. In this book, Brokaw systematically identifies each hang-up and then explains why they're unfounded, gives mental exercises to help you get past them, and then backs it up with a profile of a woman who had a similar break-through.

It seems like the tendency to compare ourselves to others is the root of the problem. There will always be women younger, prettier, sexier, richer, more accomplished, more famous, more outgoing, etc., etc.,... than we are. No matter what age, we need to love ourselves and recognize that people we care about love us too, just the way we are. The author also suggests that we shouldn't even worry about how skilled we are at an activity, just concentrate on how much enjoyment or satisfaction we get from it.

I appreciate new perspectives like that but, otherwise, this book wasn't ground-breaking for me. I felt none of the traditional anxiety as I turned 40 last year. I'm perfectly happy with myself and my life -- past, present and potential futures. The only thing I really dread is the knowledge that someday I'll lose my parents and/or friends -- and that's not an irrational fear, it's just something we'll all have to deal with at some point, hopefully with a little bit of grace.

SIDE NOTE: In the course of 262 pages, an author has to come up with numerous euphemisms for "turning 40" and my least favorite was "entering your 5th decade". I don't know why, but that one does cause my breath to catch. It just sounds so OLD, even though I'm confident that modern science will keep me on earth for over a century!

[~mad · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book because I was interested in what the daughter of a great writer like Tom Brokaw had to say. She is s therapist in California and injects information and experiences that she herself has had. Fortytude is realizing that while you can' control what happens to you, you CAN control yor reactions to life's events.

The fact that I read this book in a day and overnight while trying to recuperate from a lousy fall and resultant bruises and stitiches is a testament to how engrossing the book actually is. (I even took notes in my journal!)

I recommend this book to any woman who is approaching 30, is 30+ or 40+, single, mother or not, and even in the slightest questions "Who am I? What am I here for?"

No, really - this book will guide you and lead you and encourage you that you are a WONDER!

Amen.
(a little New Agey in the spiritual department - don't be offended, don't judge, just apply it to your own life as you choose to live it.)

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not terribly impressed with this. My mom heard her interviewed on television and told me about it. I thought it had potential. Not so much. My main issues with the book are very specific. First, although she makes mention of women who choose not to have children, or have made peace with the reality that as much isn't in the cards, she tends to pay them short shrift. Then there is the economic issue -- many of the women she profiles obviously have the financial means to change the direction of their lives in fairly remarkable ways. I don't believe that is truly feasible for most women. Certainly not for me. Finally, the chapters on spirituality were very flat. I know many people who cringe at "spiritual but not religious." I am not one of them. But there is something lacking in Brokaw's presentation -- not quite dismissive, but nearly so. Disappointing. It might not seem like it, but I really wanted to like this book.

[Penny Ramirez · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I got some good affirmations out of this book, but frankly, I skimmed the last 3rd because it held less of interest for me.

I liked the transformation of midlife crisis to "sparkling moment" - what a great way to think about it!

And the final quote I took - paraphrased, since I no longer have the book in my possession - you can't change what has happened to you, but you can change your narrative (my emphasis). Very powerful.

A timely book for me. (Even though I've been in my forties for some time now.....sigh.)

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

My mom brought this home after hearing Sarah Brokaw speak at a convention. Since I'm liable to read anything lying around the house, I picked it up and read it in about a weekend. It's self-help, obviously, and a little bit preachy at times, but overall I found it a quick, inspiring read. I could relate to several of the women Brokaw profiled in her book -- even though, at 27, I am not quite the target audience (but to paraphrase Meg Ryan's character said in When Harry Met Sally, I'm going to be forty! It's out there!). It's worth a read if you're in the mood for this sort of thing.

[Kristy Teague · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I fully appreciate the ideas within the book, namely the 5 Core Values: grace, connectedness, accomplishment, adventure, and spirituality, I don’t totally agree with all of the stated opinions of the author, especially her broad acceptance of alternative lifestyles and pluralistic definitions of spirituality. However, this book is written by a woman for women as a source of encouragement and behavioral therapy so it does have some positive advice for women about not being helpless victims and about being willing to change the narrative of their life story when possible.

[Katherine Blocksdorf · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was okay. There were no paradigm shifting moments for me. But there may be some solace for those anticipating the big 4-0 with trepidation here. I couldn't relate to the lives of many of the women discussed in the book. It was easy to read, entertaining, but I don't know that many of the stories used reflected the experiences of those of us whose lives are a little more 'common'.

[Jeehye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Going into 40s means something for most of women, starting to worry about their status, achievements, no-turning-back aging, biological clocking ticking etc, and this book, although some what over-generalization with a few anecdotes, provided some words of advice and a sense of comfort that getting old isnt such a bad idea but can be a chance of lifetime depending on how you see and capitalize on it. This book can easily be skimmed thru, doesnt need a perusal thought process.

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, so it only took me two years to read this book, gifted to me on my 40th birthday to help celebrate entering the 5th decade of my life. I drank in the words slowly, reflecting on adventure, achievement, and spirituality and the rest as I begin the next phase of the journey of my life.
Drawing on the strength of myself, my life experiences, and my resolutions, this book helped arm me with new ways of thinking about the next decade.

[Leslie Whitehurst · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this book, but I just can't get into it. Too many stories about women trying to decide on motherhood vs. career, or both, etc.... I am way past that. I was looking for a book to inspire me as I get ready for an empty nest and the next chapter of my life. Maybe I'll try it again later, but for now I'm done with this book.

[Christy · Rating 1 out of 5]

OK, I only gave it 2 chapters, but PLEASE! Tell me something new - something I don't know. Most women are petrified to turn 40? No one I know. Magazines give us an unattainable body/beauty image to strive for? Really? Never heard THAT before.
Maybe she's a good therapist, but I think she's counting on that famous name to cash in.

[Lynette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd give it a 3.5 as it kept my interest and had some great advise. Did enjoy the examples of peoples lives as Sarah Brokaw drilled home her ideas and reasons. The chapter on spirituality was quite new age thinking and I didn't agree with it but to each their own.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a woman turning 40 this year, the title caught my eye. Overall, I enjoyed the book. It gave a positive impression of 40 and beyond and layed out a framework which was easy to read. The women featured in the books had interesting stories.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every gal in their thirties should read, and be prepared for the forties. It was nice to hear someone talk about what it feels like to have successful parents and siblings, what it feels like to be single in their forties. Nice stories. Especially liked her story about 9/11

[Itasca Community Library]

Tuki says:

Sarah Brokaw had interesting points in the book that women of all ages can benefit from knowing and being aware. The added bonus of the book is that Sarah Brokaw writes in a very candid manner about the closeness and solidarity of the Brokaw family.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting premise, but overall I felt like the book focused mainly (and probably unintentionally) on how to be happy and single going in to your forties, which incidentally was the author’s condition at the time of writing.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just started this book on Wednesday, and so far it is very good. My dad sent it to me in the mail. It isn't something I'd have picked up on my own, since I usually read fiction.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not just for 40-year-olds. I am so glad I read this book during this very challenging time in my life!

[Elisa M · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book helped me to change my attitude (for the better), but overall it was nothing I hadn't heard before. It's just good to be reminded sometimes.

[Darcy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of great topics and anecdotal information.Reads like a series of short magazine articles rather than a book. Good start to discussion of numerous topics. Left me wanting more.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far into this book I find it very very good especially the chapter she wrote on "girl friendships"
to be continued. the book is well worth the read.

I myself am into 60tude fun to be 70tude.