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The Yes Factor: Get What You Want. Say What You Mean.

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The premier guide to combining verbal and nonverbal communication to gain confidence, establish credibility and make lasting impressions Yes—a small word, but the key to opening doors both professional and personal. The power of The Yes Factor gets you the job, the promotion, or the second date. But getting a "yes" can be tricky. Tonya Reiman explains how communication works—what the words you speak actually say about you, and how the perfect pitch can help you achieve your goals, convince your boss or client you should get the account, give a killer presentation, or win control of the remote (without ticking off your spouse!). Combining verbal and nonverbal tricks—identifying types of communicators, recognizing subconscious motivations, and adopting covert communication techniques-The Yes Factor is a simple approach to influencing and framing communication so that your message resounds clearly, ensuring that your ideas are implemented effectively and that you present your best possible self. A leading body language expert and Fox News contributor, Reiman's accessible prose, firsthand anecdotes, step-by-step advice, sidebars, diagrams, and short quizzes make The Yes Factor the ultimate how-to for exuding confidence, establishing authority, gaining credibility, and making the lasting impression that will get you a "yes" everytime.Watch a Video

322 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2010

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190 people want to read

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Tonya Reiman

17 books13 followers

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5 stars
36 (22%)
4 stars
49 (30%)
3 stars
50 (31%)
2 stars
21 (13%)
1 star
3 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
Profile Image for Christa JoAnna.
92 reviews20 followers
December 3, 2012
If you get the chance to listen to the audio version of this book, it is exceptional. I have her new book on my to read list. I like her style and the tips are practical..

Pair this book with 'what every body is saying' and you will get a good picture of particulars..to notice.
Profile Image for Aca.
228 reviews
September 21, 2016
[Mirror neurons are responsible for empathy (yawning, autism).
"Mirror neurons to psychology as DNA to genetics."
Blinking: increase of blinking in uncomfortable situations (Why?)
Women nod more than men.
Frame - Reframe.
]
Profile Image for Jay French.
2,163 reviews91 followers
November 30, 2015
I didn't have a good description of this book before I started it, and I was surprised to find it was about body language. While I don't think I've read a book specifically on this topic, I have read many that include body language descriptions and "training" to identify other's body language. I found this a much more complete book, with sections covering many details that I hadn't thought to question before. I liked the descriptions and the examples the author provided. I also appreciated her plan to "learn" and use body language techniques in a few weeks. Like all such books, the proof is in the practice, and I suspect the volume and variety of topics will not lend themselves to putting this all into practice, I will be looking for a couple of these signs in my next conversations.
213 reviews9 followers
June 21, 2016
This book is absolutely terrific for learning how to properly (and effectively) communicate with others. Not only persuasively but for good conversation in any situation. The book is full of body language tips and speech suggestions that you are sure to find beneficial for everyday situations. Get this book today so you can be more successful tomorrow. Remember the research showing that in order to become as successful as you're capable of being, you must be a good communicator. It's a requirement.
Profile Image for Kater Cheek.
Author 37 books291 followers
September 19, 2010
One of the points that Tonya Reiman makes in this book is that first impressions and appearances are extremely important. I had a negative first impression of this book due to the author's appearance on the cover. What kind of a person puts her photo on the cover of a nonfiction book? I mean, sure, if you're a celebrity and it's a memoir, but a bleached blond with too much eyeliner and a name I've never heard of?

Still, I'm interested in the subject, so I checked it out. This is a useful book in that it sums up a lot of what communications majors learn in four years, and car salesmen learn over a career.

Basically, it's about how to establish rapport with people and convince them to buy whatever you're selling. The former appeals more to me than the latter. Some of the techniques were interesting, for example "anchoring the moment" where you get people accustomed to doing something in a particular time or place. Others were so obvious, I couldn't imagine who would need it, such as "the meaning of a sentence can change depending on what word you emphasize." Still others felt kind of smarmy, such as "memorize and practice a few stories that you can trot out when you need them."

This book has some very useful information on some subjects. I especially liked the section on body language, because as a writer I like to use descriptions of body language to indicate how characters feel about one another. The 21-day plan to an alpha you, outlined in the back of the book, is basically a shy person's guide to faking extroversion--something I've already learned on my own, but something that might be helpful to other people. She also has information on how to baseline a person, that is, tell what they act like when they're normal, so that you can tell when they are either lying, or when they are pleased or displeased by what you are saying.

I'm giving it two stars, however, because my enjoyment of this book was hampered by certain aspects. For one, the author's style had the smarmy over-confidence I attribute to salespeople and politicians. She couches phrases in a breezy, conversational style, as if you had come to her, asking for advice. Sidebars have fake advice columns that say "ask Tonya" and illuminate the subject at hand. And most egregious, she used her own photo several times in the book instead of stock photos or drawings.

One of the other things I disliked was the way in which she said "studies show that x" where x is something like "men are better at spatial reasoning than women" or "people can be primed to expect a certain answer." I didn't like this because every single study was one I had read about at least two or three times in other books. She tried to jam too much into this book. Yes, we know that taller men earn more than shorter men, and that prettier women are liked better and earn more than uglier women. We don't need a section on BMI or hip to waist ratio, because these things can't be changed, and don't belong in a book on how to persuade people.

Reiman also wrote some 'facts' which I find simply farfetched. I've heard the hoary idea that people are either visual or auditory or kinesthetic learners, but the evidence for this theory is not compelling. Guys don't say "sweet" because they're gustatorially inclined, but because that's what the other dudes say. She also took some facts, and then extrapolated them to non-obvious conclusions, much the way that Tupperware or magnet-therapy saleswomen have done. For example, she says that "studies show" men like the smell of vanilla (among others) and women like the smell of baby powder (among others). Therefore, she postulates, women should wear "musk, vanilla spice, and baby powder." A. I don't know how she came to this conclusion, and B. I can't stand the smell of baby powder and vanilla on people. They make me want to gag.

One of the techniques in the book to get people to agree with you was to say many things they would agree with "it's a nice day", "Your name is Karl?" and then hit them with your request "wouldn't you like to buy a car from me?" I felt that she was doing this with the book. She quotes from well-known studies that I agree with (Pavlov's conditioned response, for example) and then follows it up with stuff that seems kind of pseudoscience (if you have an emotional request to make, whisper it in a person's right ear, because the right ear goes to the left side of the brain). Because there were so many facts that seemed a little questionable, it made me doubt the rest of the material.

I do think this book would be useful for certain people. I think it might be useful for me, as a writer, so that I can make my characters act more like real people. It would definitely be useful for salespeople, politicians, and other smarmy people who need a full arsenal of charisma-enhancing tricks. It would also be useful for shy people, and/or people who need basic social skills explained to them (such as those with Asperger's syndrome.)

Reiman mentions again and again how the little details can fix or derail your interactions with a person. Not buffing your shoes lowers your esteem. Having dandruff can make people think you're not the right person for the job (I am absurdly grateful I don't have to interact with such shallow people.) This book, unfortunately, fails on many of the details. I didn't like being talked down to by having everything I've read in the past ten years parroted back to me in a simplified form. I also didn't like that she used a lot of terms, and then put these terms in bold as if this were a textbook and I were a first year student. Her photo on the cover and the other photos spaced throughout the book also turned me off, as did the onslaught of evolutionary biology study-summaries with their whiff of sexism.

The author has another book on body language, which I haven't read but am now curious to check out, seeing as how the section on body language was the strongest section in this book. I'm torn between getting a copy of this book as a reference for the useful information it contains, and looking for a different book which contains the useful information, but without all the parts I disliked.
Profile Image for Ali.
723 reviews17 followers
December 1, 2024
2.5 stars rounded up. Mixed feelings galore. I’m disappointed because I saw Reiman at an education conference and enjoyed her presentation.

Some of the information in this book was common sense to anyone with rudimentary communication skills, but some of it was fascinating and useful. Alas, there was a lot of what-the-fuckery here, as well, particularly whenever the sexes were mentioned. Statements like “Studies show that most people feel that it is acceptable for men to touch women because men appear to hold higher status in society” do not get a yes from me.
Profile Image for Amy Nicole Sabas.
1 review1 follower
July 21, 2020
It's a decent starting point for a few practical tips that will help you build strong business relationships more quickly and easily.
Profile Image for April Braswell.
Author 2 books6 followers
December 17, 2011
The Yes Factor: Television's #1 Body Language Expert Delivers Engaging Self Mastery in Your Body Language and Persuasion Skills

A number of authors and less experienced BL speakers will attempt just to teach you about how to read someone else's body language. And while that is an excellent interpersonal and business persuasion skill to learn and develop, learning the influence effect of your own body language, and mastering that is an even more important and vital skill for sales and relationship success.

Tonya Reiman delivers both!

Many of us have heard of and seen Tonya on "The O'Reilly Factor" plus a number of other national periodicals like The NYT, WSJ, and the popular USA TODAY. So you know she will massively deliver her expertise, provide and educate us about reading body language as the top woman expert in the US, if not internationally.

But what I've also come to expect from Tonya, and I was not disappointed in her excellent content deliver in "The Yes Factor" is both an engaging and intelligent deliver as well! She combines examples and illustrations and literally tons of B&W photograph examples from both politicians as well as celebrities. Without becoming People magazine, we can all have our guilty pleasure in reading about celebrity gossip and body language leaking out the truth of what they are really saying and communicating. While Tonya is always an intelligent and polished expert, we can still enjoy just a little bit of entertaining juiciness as we learn!

Since there is no "Take a Look Inside" section for "The Yes Factor", without revealing any of Tonya's Intellectual Property, here is the Table of Contents for you so you can best select adding "The Yes Factor" to your Amazon shopping cart and purchasing her excellent book today:

Tonya combines scientific research about the brain, and establishes the groundwork with that first before venturing into such super practical applications of influence, persuasion, and body language as the importance of FRAMING in chapter 5. I think framing is so important and influential and it is a concept which many people do not grasp and fully appreciate the first time they hear of it.

Tonya explains framing very simply and gives plenty of examples for how to use it in our personal family lives as well as in business settings. She even includes some examples from her early expert career where she fumbled the ball with her setting and keeping the frame. Her expertise is so invaluable because she does not just leave us there with an example of "What NOT to Do" but rather she demonstrates what she should have done, which we can learn from and emulate in our own spheres of expertise.

And that is what she means by Being the Alpha. We are all experts at something. And when we are clear about our own expertise, we can give quarter and homage to another's expertise. One of the examples she provides is of two alphas in the workplace. In a situation that could have readily disintegrated into office politics and demonstrating corporate fiefdoms, she provides examples of persuasion where you don't "lose face" or authority and are able to give that to another in their area of expertise. In a down economy, this is becoming more and more of an issue within corporations where everyone is afraid for their job and is striving to display prowess. Tonya instead provides corporate workers with ways to foster teamwork and mutual respect in the workplace. Now that is a persuasion YES factor if I ever heard of one!

Not cited in the the TOC, but one of the contributing factors to The YES Factor being a truly authoritative body language and persuasion book is there is an excellent REFERENCES section, a bibliography! This means we subject matter fans have more wonderful resources we can read, and they are recommended by Tonya!

Additionally, at the end of each chapter, Tonya features a toolkit application in her "Ask Tonya" chapter closer. Here she fields questions from her many fans both from their personal as well as professional lives which are reflective of the content of that chapter.

I don't know about you, but having those real life application examples really helps me both to more fully learn and grasp the information explained in the book but also then to go use and implement it practically in my life. Thank you Tonya for making this book both so intelligent and interesting plus entertaining and useful to our lives and careers!

If you're looking to increase sales this year, keep your job, improve your relationships, or even be the job applicant they choose to hire over all the many others, then purchase Tonya Reiman's "The YES Factor," read it and give yourself the edge.
Profile Image for Bernie.
104 reviews26 followers
June 14, 2010
As Ecclesiastes says, 'there is nothing new under the sun'. That's very true of this book. There's probably nothing new in this book, that if you haven't read any of several 'self-help' books, that you haven't read before. In fact, much of the information, you'll find in Tonya Reman's previous book, THE POWER OF BODY LANGUAGE. And surprisingly much quite similar to the 1937 classic Dale Carnagie Book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

I really enjoyed Reman's previous book which I read last summer while I was visiting my daughter in New York City. One day, my daughter and I were walking in a park in Brooklyn, on a sunny day just after a hard rain. As we looked ahead we saw what looked like a large but quite shallow rain puddle. Apparently it looked equally shallow to the bicyclist who was approaching us from the opposite direction. I say that because he chose to ride through it. Unfortunately, looks can be decieving as the rider was quickly engulfed in water and mud up to his chest, while his bicycle disappeared under the water.

My daughter and I had the same reaction. We both HAD to laugh, but we didn't want the rider to see us laughing, out of concern for his feelings. So we both covered our mouths with our hand and snickered underneath it.

This nearly instinctive simultaneous reaction impressed on me the importance of body language that I had been reading about in her book.

While Reiman's previous book was good, this one is better because it focuses on application.... how do we apply lessons in body language and tone of speach to communicate more effectively with those we come into contact with? That's what it's about. And it puts the information into a complete and informative package. The book is different than Dale Carnegie in that while the principles are similar, it focuses more on the body, and the tone and pace of speach. It brings that additonal element--- while many self help books focus on WHAT to say or do, this book focuses on the HOW..... and the how, according to Reiman is to focus on how the other person communicates and develop your strategy to accomodate that.

So I'd highly recommend the book.

Two criticisms...First, Reiman neglects the heart's motivation. If your motivation in communicating with another is purely mercinary--- what can I get out of it--- it will come through and communication will be hampered. Only, if one works on their heart, and strives to keep it pure, will these techniques are effective. Second, she gives the impression that you should only use these techniques to, as the title says, "Get what you want". At one point she denigrates her own techniqes when they are not connected to a specific goal. I'm all for goal-directedness, but what's wrong with employing these techniques just because you want to connect with someone else?.... because you just want to be a better listner?.... a better person?

Perhaps she didn't mean to come accross this way though.... or perhaps I've misinterpreted. Any way, Great Book. Please read it.
Profile Image for Lewis Van Osdel.
145 reviews3 followers
June 3, 2016
The Yes Factor covers how to read body language, how to project your "Alpha Self" and how to make a better impression with people, so you are more likely to influence people.

Is the book perfect? No, Tonya Reiman does a good job in using stories and data to illustrate her points. My main criticism with the book is have to read most of the book before you get real assignments. Personally I think you should be applying the material as you go through the book.

I found the sections about how to read body language useful. I enjoyed her information on how to reframe situations, so you will be more likely change people's opinions and more likely influence them.
Profile Image for YW Low 劉耀詠.
125 reviews5 followers
July 15, 2012
Reiman offers nothing revolutionary in her book. It basically consists of structural steps and sound factors on persuasive skill; which are more of some common sense to most people. Numerous factors (things one may already practicing without labels - things like Priming) are highlighted in the book. All in all, nothing revolutionary. however can serve as reminder on being more persuasive.
Profile Image for Maryann.
4 reviews
April 11, 2011
I loved it. This book helps you read people and helps you prepare yourself for job interviews, performace reviews, and making that big sale.
1,438 reviews
July 15, 2014
Interesting but made me feel exhausted. Who wants to be 'on' the whole time!?? I think I would have liked this better as a book, or a training class.
Profile Image for Shari.
Author 4 books
January 17, 2015
Yes Factor is to books, as cotton candy is to food. A handful of principles expanded into a book. You might enjoy it, but it isn't densely packed with information.
Profile Image for Castor Ece.
18 reviews
May 28, 2019
Aprendí muchas cosas interesantes sobre mi comportamiento y lenguaje corporal que influyen en la manera en que la gente me percibe.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews

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