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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You
Here, from bestselling author Leil Lowndes, is a surefire guide to love for anyone seeking romantic bliss. In How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You readers will find 85 techniques based on scientific studies regarding the nature of love, including:
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
287 people are currently reading
2880 people want to read
About the author
Leil Lowndes
143 books502 followersLeil Lowndes is an author and internationally recognized communications expert who specializes in subconscious interactions. She has conducted hundreds of seminars in the US and around the world for major corporations, associations, and the general public, and frequently appears as a guest expert on national television shows and major news networks. She has authored ten bestselling books on communications — most recently, How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job — and is published in over 26 foreign languages. She lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 111 reviews
April 9, 2009
This book was a bit funny and frightening. What scares me is that people are out there actually following this advice! :-o I read it out of curiousity, I mean the title is intriguing. But it's full of manipulative advice on how to make someone "think" you like them and to get them to "feel" like they are in love with you.
What I came away with is a knowledge of what to be aware of the next time I go out with someone. If they start going through the steps outlined in this book - RUN!!
What I came away with is a knowledge of what to be aware of the next time I go out with someone. If they start going through the steps outlined in this book - RUN!!
May 24, 2013
I am currently 80% through this book and it is killing me to go further and had to share my thoughts on this book. Simply, it is terrible and bad advice if you are reading this for the purpose of applying it to find a lover or spouse.
The pros to this book is that there is a lot of research that has been put into citing studies and giving sources. That is about the only pro. The cons would be that I wouldn't really trust the validity of some of the studies mentioned in this book. An example of the latter would be in page 20 where the author cites the work of Dr. John Money and his book "Lovemaps" (whose work was widely known as severely flawed).
I would also go so far as to say that this book is basically a bunch of medical, scientific and psychological studies/theories that have been put together into a book with the author having no real life experience in applying the methods mentioned. An example would be page 51 where the author states, "Leil, you hypocrite. Tomorrow morning you'll be telling women to have the courage to smile at strangers, and you don't even have the nerve to do it yourself."
I will also state that from a man, a majority of information in this book aimed at females about men is just simply inaccurate and based from the authors personal opinion of what she thinks men think. I read portions of this book where I just shook my head and as a result of that I would be skeptical of the advice in this book aimed at men about women as well.
For men I would highly recommend a book by Corey Wayne (ISBN # 978-1-4116-7336-6) as a more practical book on how to better yourself and become more appealing to women.
PS: She also uses ridiculous synonyms throughout the book which I'm seeing as a repetitive trend in her books. She calls your love interest a "quarry" and uses it 498 times in the book. She also calls men "hunters" and women "hunteress". It just gets really old before the book is over.
The pros to this book is that there is a lot of research that has been put into citing studies and giving sources. That is about the only pro. The cons would be that I wouldn't really trust the validity of some of the studies mentioned in this book. An example of the latter would be in page 20 where the author cites the work of Dr. John Money and his book "Lovemaps" (whose work was widely known as severely flawed).
I would also go so far as to say that this book is basically a bunch of medical, scientific and psychological studies/theories that have been put together into a book with the author having no real life experience in applying the methods mentioned. An example would be page 51 where the author states, "Leil, you hypocrite. Tomorrow morning you'll be telling women to have the courage to smile at strangers, and you don't even have the nerve to do it yourself."
I will also state that from a man, a majority of information in this book aimed at females about men is just simply inaccurate and based from the authors personal opinion of what she thinks men think. I read portions of this book where I just shook my head and as a result of that I would be skeptical of the advice in this book aimed at men about women as well.
For men I would highly recommend a book by Corey Wayne (ISBN # 978-1-4116-7336-6) as a more practical book on how to better yourself and become more appealing to women.
PS: She also uses ridiculous synonyms throughout the book which I'm seeing as a repetitive trend in her books. She calls your love interest a "quarry" and uses it 498 times in the book. She also calls men "hunters" and women "hunteress". It just gets really old before the book is over.
curious
December 23, 2014December 22nd, 2014
After getting constant messages and a few comments about this review (EVEN THOUGH I didn't mark anything as read or I didn't unfairly rate anything without even opening the book ((*SIGHSIGHSIGH**)).) It's on its way into my hands as a to-request-from-the-public-library book.
So now I can satisfy the unsatisfied with a review with a rating and read-mark.
September 12, 2012
Nope, I'm not planning on reading this. Just curious about it!
So curious in fact . . . that I have to write a review. (A review on a book that I'll never read . . . brilliant.)
Why won't I read it??
Well--
DUDE. You can't make someone fall in love with you! They just have to . . . just . . . fall for you themselves.
I mean . . . when I find someone I love, I want them to fall for me on their own. I don't want to TRY and make them fall for me. Love doesn't work that way, dude.
Buuuuuut, I guess if your love life runs on flirting, being attracted by handsomeness or prettiness, leading people on to charm them, raising your stake at popularity, trying to become more and more famous, aiming for a high-level lover, or . . . something of that sort, I guess you can try this book . . .
As for me, I want true love.
After getting constant messages and a few comments about this review (EVEN THOUGH I didn't mark anything as read or I didn't unfairly rate anything without even opening the book ((*SIGHSIGHSIGH**)).) It's on its way into my hands as a to-request-from-the-public-library book.
So now I can satisfy the unsatisfied with a review with a rating and read-mark.
September 12, 2012
Nope, I'm not planning on reading this. Just curious about it!
So curious in fact . . . that I have to write a review. (A review on a book that I'll never read . . . brilliant.)
Why won't I read it??
Well--
DUDE. You can't make someone fall in love with you! They just have to . . . just . . . fall for you themselves.
I mean . . . when I find someone I love, I want them to fall for me on their own. I don't want to TRY and make them fall for me. Love doesn't work that way, dude.
Buuuuuut, I guess if your love life runs on flirting, being attracted by handsomeness or prettiness, leading people on to charm them, raising your stake at popularity, trying to become more and more famous, aiming for a high-level lover, or . . . something of that sort, I guess you can try this book . . .
As for me, I want true love.
April 16, 2008
Must have worked, I married the reason I bought the book.
August 25, 2011
Okay, I would like to say that I read it because the deep insight in the human behaviour it gives me, and although that is also true, I mostly read it because I'm a lonely sap who's worthless with love. I bought it more than 1 1/2 years ago when I was in England, but never got around to reading it because I thought the font was too annoying, but as I said, I'm tired of being the constant single, so I sought advice, and advice I got.
Not only does it bring funny anecdotes, it also helps you to understand how the male (or female) brain reacts to certain things, how to make a good first impression and all that comes with love. Although I did not agree on everything that was said in the book I found myself learning a lot from it. In theory at least.
Not only does it bring funny anecdotes, it also helps you to understand how the male (or female) brain reacts to certain things, how to make a good first impression and all that comes with love. Although I did not agree on everything that was said in the book I found myself learning a lot from it. In theory at least.
March 27, 2011
This is funny as hell!
Humurous reading aside, it has some good prespective on social dynamics wich is what's really what got me into reading this.
But it can either turn you into a manipulative beast, or really give you a good third person prespective on what you're doing and perhaps really lead you when the time comes.
As for the manipulative part. No one will become that because of a book. You either already were, or came to be out of your own will. Each takes what each wants from the resources each finds.
Humurous reading aside, it has some good prespective on social dynamics wich is what's really what got me into reading this.
But it can either turn you into a manipulative beast, or really give you a good third person prespective on what you're doing and perhaps really lead you when the time comes.
As for the manipulative part. No one will become that because of a book. You either already were, or came to be out of your own will. Each takes what each wants from the resources each finds.
May 28, 2017
So, I'm sitting in my reading chair, reading (of course), and my husband of 23 years and father of my houseful of children asks me what book's in my hands. Yes, his eyes pretty much rolled all the way back in his head when I told him it was this.
My excuse: I serendipitously came across this, bizarrely, while online reserving other library books -- and the title is just too good.
That said, this book is ridiculous. Oh, yes, there are many practical techniques, but the book comes across as manipulative (surprise!) and hardly the best things to base a relationship on. At the same time, I see the truth in some of the basic suggestions: Dress well, smile. Of course, most people don't need a book to figure those out.
The biggest issue I have with Leil Lowndes' book is when she encourages people to do things such as mimic their "quarry's" body language, as though you can create a connection by doing the things that connected people do naturally; that is, you can trick someone into feeling more connected than they might otherwise. The book is full of things like that: People in love do x, so, do x when around the person you want to fall in love with you. Or: Men (or women) like x; therefore, do x.
Which all sounds like a not-so-good basis for a relationship.
And, oh, she tells women to watch porn (!) and men to read romance novels -- to see what "the other side" likes. Now, it's my turn for my eyes to roll all the way back.
I wouldn't exactly recommend this book, but it can be unintentionally humorous and fun on that front. For all its flaws, it's an entertaining read and a reminder of just how good I (and maybe you) have it.
My excuse: I serendipitously came across this, bizarrely, while online reserving other library books -- and the title is just too good.
That said, this book is ridiculous. Oh, yes, there are many practical techniques, but the book comes across as manipulative (surprise!) and hardly the best things to base a relationship on. At the same time, I see the truth in some of the basic suggestions: Dress well, smile. Of course, most people don't need a book to figure those out.
The biggest issue I have with Leil Lowndes' book is when she encourages people to do things such as mimic their "quarry's" body language, as though you can create a connection by doing the things that connected people do naturally; that is, you can trick someone into feeling more connected than they might otherwise. The book is full of things like that: People in love do x, so, do x when around the person you want to fall in love with you. Or: Men (or women) like x; therefore, do x.
Which all sounds like a not-so-good basis for a relationship.
And, oh, she tells women to watch porn (!) and men to read romance novels -- to see what "the other side" likes. Now, it's my turn for my eyes to roll all the way back.
I wouldn't exactly recommend this book, but it can be unintentionally humorous and fun on that front. For all its flaws, it's an entertaining read and a reminder of just how good I (and maybe you) have it.
July 3, 2007
So I bought this book at the old age of 22 after a heart wrenching no one will ever love me again break-up. (I thought I was getting way to old and had to take desperate measures!) I didn't read the whole book and I am not sure even how far I got, but it was a bunch of crap from what I remember. (With a title like that though, what kind of success rate could we really get, ANYONE!! I doubt it) From what I remember it told you to lie. To pretend to be totally into the things that the other is interested in and stuff like that. So maybe you could make ANYONE fall for you, but it wouldn't be the real you. But if you want to borrow the book you sure can!
November 14, 2007
If you are looking for a relationship book that gives you the traditional, "find someone who appreciates you for you," or "you'll meet the right person, just be yourself," advice, look some place else. This is the worldly, dog-eat-dog, guide to relationships. There are no mentions of inner beauty in this book. An appropriate title might have been, "The Wall Street Guide to Relationships." So, I thought it was good, concrete advice if you are looking to hook up with lots of attractive people through manipulation, but I think that the title's goal of making people, "fall in LOVE" is a bit off.
February 29, 2008
If it was only as easy as it sounded! Seductively licking your lips, making eye contact from across the room, telling someone how wonderful they are, all the non-verbal cues...odds are that they are not going to make someone fall in love with you. It might land you in bed with someone but love, probably not. I think we spend so much time as a society thinking that there is a certain way to act to get love and if we aren't getting love, we must not be doing it right. I'd really like to buy a book that tells me to just be myself, stop trying to act a certain way and maybe stop worrying about it in the first place! Maybe it's not even me to begin with? I never seem to learn and always am seeking out information on what I can do to improve myself so might be fighting an uphill battle on this topic. But the more I read, the more I realize that maybe these books are really telling me that it's okay to be single!
December 2, 2019
Gotta borrow the review of another reader to describe how I think about this book.
"This book was a bit funny and frightening. What scares me is that people are out there actually following this advice! I read it out of curiousity, I mean the title is intriguing. But it's full of manipulative advice on how to make someone "think" you like them and to get them to "feel" like they are in love with you."
As a woman, I dont like the way Leil guides ppl to approach love and to understand how it works. As someone who loves psychology, I really like how she breaks down the mechanism of lust, desire, emotion and reaction.
Well, at the end, I'm still a girl who loves psychology, not a psychologist who happens to be a woman.
"This book was a bit funny and frightening. What scares me is that people are out there actually following this advice! I read it out of curiousity, I mean the title is intriguing. But it's full of manipulative advice on how to make someone "think" you like them and to get them to "feel" like they are in love with you."
As a woman, I dont like the way Leil guides ppl to approach love and to understand how it works. As someone who loves psychology, I really like how she breaks down the mechanism of lust, desire, emotion and reaction.
Well, at the end, I'm still a girl who loves psychology, not a psychologist who happens to be a woman.
January 5, 2015
I doubt I learned anything really new from this book, although it offers a few helpful tidbits here and there. It also offers advice which may or may not be good in helping to get a lover and/or find a mate. This book is supposedly based on actual scientific evidence, but that is only a part of it. This is neither a scholarly nor a popular review of the literature on the subject of mating dances. Lowndes presents a variety of techniques, occasionally backed up by studies, on how to find that special someone. Although it is written for both genders, Lowndes is a woman and the outlook of a bourgeois female who wants to be high class predominates. In fact it encourages one to be a little manipulative and do things like make lots of compliments (whether you really mean them or not) and try to present yourself as the kind of person your `quarry' might be looking for. It gives suggestions on how to appear classy and what to say to wealthy people.
There were some good pointers, though: men need to move right away if they are interested; watch porno made by women for love‑making tips; the six things that count in the meet market (looks, money, status, knowledge, style, and personality/nature); and what the steps are in the `dance of intimacy' (nonverbal signal, talk, turning, touching, synchronization).
There were some good pointers, though: men need to move right away if they are interested; watch porno made by women for love‑making tips; the six things that count in the meet market (looks, money, status, knowledge, style, and personality/nature); and what the steps are in the `dance of intimacy' (nonverbal signal, talk, turning, touching, synchronization).
Read
December 13, 2011I can't decide if this book is really clever or really offensive. I love that a lot of actual research studies were consulted to come up with the advice (although I have no idea as to the credibility of those studies), but some of the sexually-oriented advice was just weird. Agreeing to think about sexing other women to get your man on side, knowing you have no intention of doing so and probably won't be asked to follow through? Um. This was treated as far less weird than your man potentially wanting to dress up in your clothes, which is at least emotionally harmless.
May 13, 2008
Some tricks are works, but many tricks here are not suitable in my country. I like how the way we appreciates our couple. Well at least, this book have explained that we can do many things to make our couple/wife/husband loves us.
January 20, 2010
seemed pretty solid until the part where the author started writing about gender difference and then i had to fight the urge to throw the book across the room. yeah, let's support gender stereotypes with anecdotal evidence, flawed studies, and cliches.
August 6, 2011
This book may have some points or thoughts to consider, but love is never meant to be a bunch of techniques to study and practice!
If you are searching for a book that teaches u have how to date, this book is what u need. so it's better to name it "how to get a date with everyone"
If you are searching for a book that teaches u have how to date, this book is what u need. so it's better to name it "how to get a date with everyone"
January 5, 2009
One of the best flirting/relationship books I have read. It tells you what to do and then it will tell you the science behind it.
September 2, 2019
Tiêu đề tiếng Việt là "Tán tỉnh bất kì ai" - Quyển sách này sẽ có giá trị với thời gian bởi vì bên cạnh những chiêu trò nó còn khuyến khích người đọc xây dựng những giá trị bền vững khác. Chiêu trò chỉ để tạo ra một mở đầu thú vị thôi còn về lâu dài thì sự cân bằng (ví dụ xấu phải có nhiều tiền, ăn nói có duyên...), sự tương xứng (môn đăng hộ đối) và sự chân thành mới là những yếu tố then chốt cho một mối quan hệ bền vững. Quyển này rút ra những qui luật tâm lí khá chuẩn , nhưng mà các ví dụ đưa ra hơi dễ, thôi thì tự người đọc phải có những sáng tạo riêng thôi.
April 30, 2024
I saw this audiobook (which is a shorter version of a longer text) and thought it sounded kind of fun so I figured I’d give a listen. I did enjoy the book and I think there are some decent tips! Obviously I haven’t tried anything out lol but overall the advice makes sense. There’s plenty of research in this so it’s not like you’re reading something willy nilly. The original book was published in 1997 so some of this is a little out to date and talks solely about meeting someone organically. I’d be interested if the author made a newer version for the current dating scene!
January 23, 2018
Practical ideas, great book
November 15, 2014
It was great to read a scientific research book that wasn't dry and boring and bogged down with terms that most people don't understand.
The flip side is it started out fairly interesting then fell into what seems to me a whole bunch of game playing trying to land your 'Quarry' as the people you are trying to snare are called. It seemed like most of the book was spent trying to manipulate your 'Quarry' into falling in love with you and not being your true self.
It was summed up in the last few sentences and I quote the last paragraph, 'Spike your arrow with this wisdom and the techniques that science has spawned. But as you take aim at your Quarry, never forget the artistry, the creativity, and the magic of love. A great performer studies techniques for a lifetime but, flooded by the warmth of the spotlight, those grueling years of practice fade into the past. Triumphant performers give themselves to the moment, and let the magic unfold naturally. So it is with romance. Study and practice the techniques to make somebody fall in love with you But when the moment arrives, give yourself to it. Follow your instincts and obey your heart.'
These words to me negated the whole book and with that you don't need to read this book. I will save you the time and say, be yourself, learn to compromise on the things that need compromise, communicate, stay true to yourself,and enjoy the love journey.
The flip side is it started out fairly interesting then fell into what seems to me a whole bunch of game playing trying to land your 'Quarry' as the people you are trying to snare are called. It seemed like most of the book was spent trying to manipulate your 'Quarry' into falling in love with you and not being your true self.
It was summed up in the last few sentences and I quote the last paragraph, 'Spike your arrow with this wisdom and the techniques that science has spawned. But as you take aim at your Quarry, never forget the artistry, the creativity, and the magic of love. A great performer studies techniques for a lifetime but, flooded by the warmth of the spotlight, those grueling years of practice fade into the past. Triumphant performers give themselves to the moment, and let the magic unfold naturally. So it is with romance. Study and practice the techniques to make somebody fall in love with you But when the moment arrives, give yourself to it. Follow your instincts and obey your heart.'
These words to me negated the whole book and with that you don't need to read this book. I will save you the time and say, be yourself, learn to compromise on the things that need compromise, communicate, stay true to yourself,and enjoy the love journey.
June 14, 2015
My first English Book to finish الحمد لله.
It was okay I guess, it contains many advice, shows you the difference between male and female perception of things. Sometimes I thought the book was ironic specially when it covered areas like how to make someone rich fall in love with you, also I felt as if deception was included, how to deceive someone to get him to love you or think as if he is love with you already -Guess I didn't like that much - I mean if someone doesn't like me the way I am , then what's the point? , I know these techniques and pieces of advice are meant to help you get things right with a PLP , It is just I felt as if I am going to trap someone by force to get him to notice me.
I hated when Leil , had to expose some of her friends secrets to clarify some points, Is that acceptable ?! Guess not O.o
However Part 5 I believe was my best same as the equity , WIIFM parts ...
overall it opened my mind to lots of things in a relationship
It was okay I guess, it contains many advice, shows you the difference between male and female perception of things. Sometimes I thought the book was ironic specially when it covered areas like how to make someone rich fall in love with you, also I felt as if deception was included, how to deceive someone to get him to love you or think as if he is love with you already -Guess I didn't like that much - I mean if someone doesn't like me the way I am , then what's the point? , I know these techniques and pieces of advice are meant to help you get things right with a PLP , It is just I felt as if I am going to trap someone by force to get him to notice me.
I hated when Leil , had to expose some of her friends secrets to clarify some points, Is that acceptable ?! Guess not O.o
However Part 5 I believe was my best same as the equity , WIIFM parts ...
overall it opened my mind to lots of things in a relationship
June 5, 2008
Omg, I love this book. Nevermind I've been in a boring monog relationship with an adorably foxy nerdy economist for a good chunk of time, I love this book. I use all the tricks and tips and get lots of free stuff, and while I'm cute, I'm not like cute enough to never pay for cupcakes/coffee at Barnes & Noble. this book bottom lines it for you so well, you feel kind of stupid for reading it. Still, Most of it is about eye contact that makes the person you're eyeing feel like a gazelle about to be picked off by a lion, and since I have stunning eyes, it's my kind of book. I have crazy laser beam eyes and I swear my goal is to never have to pay for another cuppa cawfee the rest of my life. So far, so good.
May 12, 2019
Một quyển sách khá thú vị. Thật ra tình yêu theo cách nói của khoa học chúng ta gọi là EQ. Làm sao để tất cả những người mà chúng ta muốn yêu ta. Một trong những yếu tố đầu tiên nta gọi là ấn tượng đầu tiên. Tự tin là một trong những yếu tố cần thiết. Tiếp theo. Môn đăng hộ đối. Trong 6 lĩnh vực ít ra điểm trung bình của chúng ta là ngang nhau. 1 2 điểm khác biệt k là vấn đề to tát. Chúng ta tìm kiếm những thứ mà chúng ta thiếu, đồng thời cũng tìm kiếm người có chung giá trị cuộc sống. Không mô thuẫn đâu. Khoa học mà. Ak và hãy đối xử vs ng mình yêu theo cách họ muốn chứ k phải cách chúng ta muốn. Một quyển sách đáng đọc cho chúng ta đều thích 査男mà
July 28, 2012
This author is genius! Nearly everything she talks about in this self-help book she nails right on the head. I agreed with about 90 percent of her advice... mostly because we have the same views on relationships. She gives some great tips that I will be using in the future. I had to smile to myself when reading certain parts of this book because she was so dead on. I guess I would have to say that the sex part of the book was the only thing I was iffy on. Other than that, I would definitely read another book from this author.
March 6, 2011
Well it gives us some facts, some things that we all knew or subconsciously know them, but weren't that much of AWARE that those things were techniques to rely on, or to actually benefit from !
so we needed someone to sum it all up & give us the recipe & that what this book did !
BUT i think it's not entirely useful for us as eastern, we have different culture & different way of dealing with that kind of relationships!
but we can always take what suits us & leave out all the rest!
so we needed someone to sum it all up & give us the recipe & that what this book did !
BUT i think it's not entirely useful for us as eastern, we have different culture & different way of dealing with that kind of relationships!
but we can always take what suits us & leave out all the rest!
April 28, 2011
This book is not so much about making someone fall in love with you as it is a toolbox for starting, building and maintaining relationships with potential love interests. It's the only book I've read on dating that gives concrete steps about how to interact with the opposite sex, as well as sound advice about how to find what the author calls "your matched opposite." The writing is clear and moves along at a pleasant conversational pace.
April 15, 2011
Yes. I bought this book. I really did. I was curious and bored, so I bought it. It was ok, quite funny, though I'm pretty sure, it's not that easy to "make someone fall in love with you" and that it does not only involve chemistry or the fact that you will keep licking your lip, make intense eye contact, and telling them how wonderful they are.
It might help you picking up guys, or get picked up it depends on how you see things, but love? I don't think so.
It might help you picking up guys, or get picked up it depends on how you see things, but love? I don't think so.
April 19, 2012
I ordered this book as it would have been priceless in mending my broken heart at the time. However ... not until I had received it through the post and started reading it did it reveal that you cannot have previously met this 'anyone.' Tut tut.
My still shattered heart aside, it was a good read. Love the 'sticky eyes' advice.
My still shattered heart aside, it was a good read. Love the 'sticky eyes' advice.
June 1, 2013
Finally an author who reads scientific journals AND includes references so readers can follow up! Lowndes also has a nice, chatty writing style and she manages her topics beautifully so you can easily flip through the book and get to where you want to be (firs date, why mirroring works etc). Terrific book not for falling in love but for improving communication in general.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 111 reviews