Fun with Your New Head

by Thomas M. Disch, Gene Szafran (Illustrator)

Contents:
The Roaches (1965)
Come to Venus Melancholy (1965)
Linda and Daniel and Spike (1967)
Flight Useless, Inexorable the Pursuit (1968)
Descending (1964)
Nada (1964)
Now Is Forever (1964)
The Contest (1967)
The Empty Room (1967)
The Squirrel Cage (1966)
The Number You Have Reached (1967)
1-A (1968)
Fun with Your New Head (1966)
The City of Penetrating Light (1968)
Moondust, the Smell of Hay, and Dialectical Materialism (1967)
Thesis on Social Forms and Social Controls in the U.S.A. (1964)
Casablanca (1967)

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Horror, Collections, Speculative Fiction, Anthologies

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1968

About the author

Poet and cynic, Thomas M. Disch brought to the sf of the New Wave a camp sensibility and a sardonicism that too much sf had lacked. His sf novels include Camp Concentration, with its colony of prisoners mutated into super-intelligence by the bacteria that will in due course kill them horribly, and On Wings of Song, in which many of the brightest and best have left their bodies for what may be genuine, or entirely illusory, astral flight and his hero has to survive until his lover comes back to him; both are stunningly original books and both are among sf's more accomplishedly bitter-sweet works.

In later years, Disch had turned to ironically moralized horror novels like The Businessman, The MD, The Priest and The Sub in which the nightmare of American suburbia is satirized through the terrible things that happen when the magical gives people the chance to do what they really really want. Perhaps Thomas M. Disch's best known work, though, is The Brave Little Toaster, a reworking of the Brothers Grimm's "Town Musicians of Bremen" featuring wornout domestic appliances -- what was written as a satire on sentimentality became a successful children's animated musical.

Reviews

[Glenn Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the tops within the world of New Wave American science fiction, American author Thomas M. Disch (1940-2008) published many works of fiction and non-fiction, including nearly two dozen novels and eight collections of short stories. An incredible imagination – a writer worth anybody’s time. If you are new to Disch, this collection of seventeen short stories is an excellent place to begin. To provide a modest glimpse of the author's inventiveness, I offer the following commentary on three of my favorites from this collection:

THE SQUIRREL CAGE
Newsflash: After spending five weeks in a small white room alternating running on a rat wheel and reading Thomas M. Disch, Mr. Q. C. Greentree of Newark, New Jersey has discovered the meaning of life. Q. C. plans to write a book recording his experience. Sound plausible? Well, maybe not, but all kidding aside, Q. C. and his rat wheel are not that far removed from events relayed by this tale’s narrator, a man who is trapped in a padded white cell with stool, desk and typewriter.

Is he the last human on the face of the earth? If so, he reasons, then aliens from another planet are the ones watching him and attending to his bodily needs as he sits and pounds the keys of his typewriter. Whatever the context or irrespective of who or what is doing the watching, he has spent hours at the typewriter writing in a variety of forms: poetry, a zoological memoir and a short story about a woman visiting a zoo where one of the caged animals is a man. Then, as if a caged rat running on a metaphorical rat wheel, our author pens multiple variations of what he has previously written.

He reckons maybe what he types out on his typewriter appears on a giant screen like the one in Times Square, New York City, a giant screen where thousands of men and women can read whatever he writes. Perhaps they laugh when he creates comedy and lose interest when he shifts to drama; or, perhaps, it is the other way round: they find drama intriguing but walk away, bored out of their skull, when he attempts to make them laugh. Perhaps the narrator in his room as squirrel cage is none other than Thomas M. Disch. Or, even more likely, anyone of us locked into mindless routine like a rat running on a rat wheel.

To say more about Disch's much anthologized short story would be to say too much - but at least, you must admit, I included a photo of Q. C. Greentree. Look at him go! - unfortunately, thousands upon thousands of men and women across the globe can identify completely with Q.C.'s endless running.

FUN WITH YOUR NEW HEAD
The title story is a three page flash fiction in the form of an extended late-night TV commercial, an all-out frontal assault on individual as consumer. One direct quote will do the trick: “Everyone should have his own HEAD, and now everyone can! Heads are cheaper than ever before. They eat less and take up less space too! So why don’t you buy your new HEAD today?”



SPOILER ALERT: My analysis covers The Roaches in its entirety. Usually I wouldn’t want to give away a tale’s surprises but I do so here to underscore just how abrupt and unexpected the twist at the end. I hope my review prompts you to investigate the author’s writing.

The ROACHES
Miss Marcia Kenwell, a young lady from the wholesome state of Minnesota currently residing in Manhattan, is horrified by cockroaches. Most unfortunately, she lives in an apartment infested by the vermin, prompting poor Marcia to constantly reach for her Black Flag and spray, spray, spray, spray.

And poor Marcia keeps her apartment so immaculately clean; she simply cannot fathom how so many people in New York City do not take on the role of exterminator, scrubbing and spraying until all those evil cockroaches are no more. Thus she is prompted to conclude scathingly how vast numbers of New Yorkers must be none other than dirty Puerto Ricans. Sidebar: Thomas Disch doesn’t pass up this opportunity to highlight a longstanding American racial prejudice linking cockroaches to Puerto Ricans.

You may ask: When did Marcia have her first revolting encounter? Answer: down in her employer’s stockroom cellar when the Midwestern lass noticed dark spots moving on the side of a sink. She takes several steps for a closer look. Ahhh - horror of horrors!. Those spots are, in fact, big, black, ugly insects. A philosopher at heart, Marcia turns over in her mind how those very things that repel us can simultaneously attract us.

And, go ahead, look at the way those dark insects scatter randomly, their antennae fluttering. Marcia wonders if her mere presence is having a morbid effect on the black insects. Oh, yes, these are the very same vile creatures she recalls her dear Aunt back in Minnesota warned her about - none other than cockroaches. At this point, the trauma is simply too much - Marcia falls back in a nearby chair and faints.

Not long after this cellar episode, cockroaches invade her apartment for the first time. Immediately, Marcia initiates ruthless extermination – she scrubs and waxes, spreads pastes and powders, washes and rinses everything in sight. Finally, after all her efforts, she reaches a point where any of those repugnant cockroaches who so much as think of trespassing will turn right around and scurry off in hasty retreat.

All is well, somewhat, at least, until disaster hits: the Shchapalovs move in the apartment next to her, three Shchapalovs, two men and a woman, all looking as if they are worn by age, as if all three have been put through one of life’s meanest meat grinders. Not only does Marcia discovers these Shchapalovs are all drinkers but they constantly yell at one another and, if you can believe it, they also sing songs together in the evening, a practice Marcia finds particularly distressing.

And, to top it off, these Shchapalovs have cockroaches that swarm into her kitchen through the common pipes and plumbing. Egad! Sidebar: A family of Eastern Europeans and their cockroaches, a connection reminding us of both Kafka’s famous tale and America’s nasty history of xenophobia. Anyway, in her bed at night, Marcia must watch the cockroaches crawl over her walls and ceiling, tracking in Shchapalov filth.

One evening when poor Marcia lies in her bed with flu, the roaches are especially bad and she begs them to all go away, to get out of her apartment, begs the cockroaches with the same intensity with which she occasionally prays to God. Strange but true, her prayers are answered – all the cockroaches immediately flee her apartment as fast as their little black legs will carry them.

One last cockroach comes down the cupboard. “Stop!” Marcia commands. The cockroach stops. Marcia barks out more commands: Up! Down! Left! Right! The cockroach obeys. At this point, Marcia got out of bed, walked over to the cockroach and orders it to wiggle its antennas. The cockroach antennas obligingly wiggle.

With an unexpected thrill, Marcia realizes the cockroaches will obey her every command. Too bad for the Shchapalovs with their disgusting drinking and vile singing. The very next night Marcia puts her plan into action - obeying her orders, thousands of cockroaches attack the singing Eastern Europeans. Bye, bye Shchapalovs - they flee down the stairs and out of the apartment building forever. Marcia knows this is only the beginning when, telepathically, she hears the cockroaches chiming in unison: “We love you we love you we love you.”

The author ends his tale thusly: “I love you too,” she replied." "Oh, I love you. Come to me, all of you. Come to me, all of you. Come to me. I love you. Come to me. I love you. Come to me.” From every corner of Manhattan, from the crumbling walls of Harlem, from the restaurants on 56th Street, from warehouses along the river, from sewers and from orange peels moldering in garbage cans, the loving roaches came forth and began to crawl toward their mistress.





American author Thomas M. Disch, 1940-2008

[R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The year is 1964...

J.G.Ballard: Say, Tom, me lad! Hold up there! And what is it you're working on?
Thomas Disch: Oh, just a thing. A little story about economic collapse in the future, the 1990's, and roving bands of anarchic teenagers. Tossed in a cuckolded cloned banker who is repeating existence on an infinite loop. Called "Now is Forever." Hey, where you going?
J.G.Ballard: Tea! Yes, rather. Tea.

The year is 1966...
Philip K. Dick: Hey, Tom. Man. Pull up a chair. Want some...some dope? Okay. Cool. Hey, what are you working on?
Thomas Disch: Oh. Just a few quick riffs. Just to line the pockets. One is a meditation on highly-amped paranoia in a superurban cityscape called "The Contest". The other is a quick piece about a guy who rents his brain out to computer labs as storage space because he's in love but, well, we can all relate, poor. Stricken by the poverty bug.
Philip K. Dick: Yeah. Dig. Dig. Huh. ... Man, the time. See...it's getting late. I don't mind, dig, but the old lady she...
Thomas Disch: Gotcha. Later, then?
Philip K. Dick: Why not?

The year is 1980...

PKD/JGB: Tom! What's up? How's the output? What's the latest?
Tom: Guys! Hey! Well, since you asked, right now I'm working on a story about a toaster. A brave little toaster.
PKD/JGB: ...
Tom: Already got the sequel planned out. He goes to Mars.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of short stories by Disch, all from the mid-1960's. They're all literate and character-driven pieces, and were hailed as emblematic of the New Wave movement of the time, though I thought they were less experimental and more comprehensible than many such. I especially liked Casablanca and The Roaches, and always get quite a chuckle from the titular short piece.

[Graham P · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the scope of the SF New Wave, Disch's work had a more absurdist, humanistic slant than most of his peers, and while some of his stories are playful, many of them contain a dark core, exposing the frailties of the poor and the insane, the maligned and the forgotten. The work in this early collection strays off into such themes, while not so much rooted in SF as it is in the horror genre. The most memorable stories in the collection:

'The Roaches' - living in New York City can be quite awful for the lower classes. Amidst tenement living, loud neighbors and dead-end jobs, the main character here is befriended by a cockroach. Soon, she creates a telepathic bond with the insects and she has them do her dirty work. (David Hartwell selected this one in his fine collection, The Dark Descent).

'Come to Venus Melancholy' - a first person account of an off-world computer losing its mind to jealousy and loneliness.

'Linda and Daniel and Spike' - a revolting tale about an imaginary lover who impregnates a schizophrenic woman in Manhattan.

'Descending' - a loser maxes out his credit card in a department store, only to find himself stuck on a never-ending descent on an escalator. To some consumer Hell?

'Now is Forever' - a regeneration machine gives you anything you want, but when there's no more desire and you can have what you want by the press of a button, events take a turn for the worst. This one reads like an apocalyptic version of 'Groundhog Day', the snake eating its own tail, again and again and again....

'The City of Penetrating Light' - the last man of Earth, an astronaut who was in space when the bombs were dropped on earth, now contemplates suicide, but he keeps getting interrupted by some stranger calling him on the phone.

'Casablanca' - Disch here is channeling Paul Bowles in fine fashion. While the nuclear bombs are dropped on America, an elderly American couple on holiday try to figure out what to do. As the anti-American hatred takes hold, the couple go through a series of mundane horrors that eventually turn nasty as they try to find safety. Written in 1967, this story is far from dated, and probably means more to the reader today than in the year it was written.

[Lauren Stoolfire · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short, 216 page, sci-fi anthology from Thomas M. Disch features 17 short stories. They are all odd in interesting and unexpected ways. My favorites include The Roaches, Linda and Daniel and Spike, The Squirrel Cage, 1-A, and Fun With Your New Head. Of them, I really wanted to know more about the world of the title story which is presented as a quick three page commercial for a funny product that's good for all ages called a HEAD. While I was reading this collection, I couldn't help but think of Mike Russell's Nothing is Strange and Strange Medicine - the tone of the stories are quite similar.

[Manny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent short story collection from the great Thomas Disch. The star is Descending... a simple but very powerful morality play, perfectly executed. Suppose you weren't paying attention when taking the down escalator at a department store, and suddenly realized that you were way lower than the basement? And that there was no up escalator in sight?

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have long anticipated getting into the work of Thomas M Disch. I would have started earlier if his books weren’t as hard to find as they have been. After looking for over a year I’ve come across a solid handful over the last month. I decided to start here with Fun With Your New Head, a collection of short stories published in 1968.

Early in his career this collection was published when Disch was only 28 years old. Some of these stories go back to when he was only 24. These stories on their own are highly impressive works of literary Science Fiction but given his age at the time they were written it really does give an added level of praise.

Science fiction short story collections are often a hard thing to pull off for me. So much of science fiction relies on its world building and establishing the science/fantastic elements of that world. The genre as a whole is rather vast and when short stories are compiled like this it can make for a very whiplash experience reading going from speculative fiction, to outer space, to the far off future, to contemporary fantastical narratives. This collection, for how vast it is in scope, really doesn’t have that issue.

Disch takes on a lot of very different ideas and for the most part hits exceptionally well in executing them. While holding some overlying themes, there are many different styles and stories being told here. I think it helps that Disch isn’t really much of a hard SF writer as most of these stories take place in a contemporary world, or if they are in the future they are the near future. These are some of my favorite science fiction stories to read which added to how much this collection resonated with me. There are some stories here where you would hardly categorize them as science fiction as they really have vague ties to the genre.

While not every story hit for me, the vast majority did and when they did they hit hard, making them some of the best I’ve read in the genre. The collection starts on a high with “The Roaches” which is a story of a woman living in 1960s New York dealing with cockroaches and obnoxious neighbors. Reading this story in my own apartment really added to the tension of the story. Disch would go on to be later known for his horror writing and you can see some of that style emerge here.

Another early favorite was “Descending” , a story about a man stuck on an escalator with a very Borgesian feel. “The Squirrel Cage” stands out for me as an incredible work of metafiction that works well placed in the middle of this collection. It is the kind of thing that you would more likely find in John Barth’s Lost in the Funhouse rather than any typical science fiction collection.

“1-A” is a great antiwar story from the middle of the Vietnam War and “Moondust, the Smell of Hay, and Dialectical Materialism” is a really creative exploration of the themes of death through the final moments of a Cosmonaut out in space.

There are a lot of themes of death in this collection and overall it holds a very dark and melancholy tone. While some of it may feel a bit average by today’s standards these stories feel pretty extreme and edgy for the 1960s. The discussions of death and suicide really feel especially poignant given how Disch would take his own life 40 years later.

Overall, I thought this was a great introduction to Thomas M Disch and it only makes me more excited to read more of his works. These short stories give so many different flavors to his style that I hope are explored in greater detail in a full length novel.

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

The late, great, Thomas Disch was probably the oddest SF author I ever knew. He didn't LOOK like an author, but more like the leader of a Hell's Angels biker gang. And yes, he was a biker. But the man did two things that really made you stop and say, "WTF?"

He wrote damned good SF stories...

And some of the most sensitive poetry I've ever heard.

This was a collection of short stories he'd written. They are funny, but with a dark twist to them. One is a story about why you should never EVER get on an escalator and not pay attention to how many floors you've traveled. Especially if you are a thief.

Even though the stories in here are dark and twisted, there is a sense that Disch understood Daoism. He understood karma and human nature. That and I can imagine him poking fun at TV commercials by developing the title story, which is a sales pitch for you to "buy a new head... TODAY!"

[Jemiah Jefferson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so much. I found it in a free box my first 24 hours on the Reed College campus, and had to pick it up because of that title. What I found was a collection of some of the most imaginative, crushingly downbeat, kinda funky stories I'd ever read in my life. Miserable, misanthropic, apocalyptic, freaky, like the Twilight Zone but where every single story is staggeringly unhappy. It's really brave and sharp and unique. Read dates here are approximate; I actually have no memory of when I read the book, but it was during my freshman year, for sure.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Roaches - 4/5 - A woman becomes queen of the roaches in New York City

Come to Venus Melancholy - 3.5/5 - A cyborg woman recounts her slow devolution into insanity while being a companion for a man collection specimens on Venus

Linda and Daniel and Spike - 4/5 - Pretty dark short story about a woman with cancer who has delusions her tumor was a child

Flight Useless, Inexorable the Pursuit - 2/5 - A man is on the run from a mysterious machine. It’s a very short story and once the reveal happens it also becomes completely senseless

Descending - 3.5/5 - Story of a man who gets lost in a building and ends up taking escalators down endlessly. Feels almost like a Stephen King idea. King would make the horror better but Disch has better overall writing

Nada - 3.5/5 - A woman who is basically a special ed teacher, takes a special interest in a certain student. Soon she finds out the student might be more than she appears to be, both in intelligence and humanity

Now is Forever - 4.5/5 - Pretty incredible story. We are put into a dystopia and it’s slowly revealed to us how it devolved from some seeming utopian ideas (no need for money and people have access to whatever they want including near immortality)

The Contest - 4/5 - Very short story about a man telling another the story of his short love affair with a paranoid woman who thinks the authorities were after her. It wasn’t anything special but had an ending that elevated it a bit

The Empty Room - 4.5/5 - A couple are moving into a new domicile that neither are very thrilled about. Actually they are both disillusioned by the entirety of life and have no real hope for improving their situation. A short and interesting read for my fellow melancholics

The Squirrel Cage - 4/5 - A man is trapped in a room and is just writing on a typewriter as he slowly loses his mind. Gets pretty dark towards the end

The Number You Have Reached - 5/5 - The last man on Earth is receiving calls from a woman. He can’t tell if she is real or if he has gone insane and when she comes to visit him it pushes him over the edge. Disch definitely focuses on loneliness and isolation frequently in these stories and I am all about it. This was a great one

A-1 - 3.5/5 - What feels like a standard story of a young man joining the Army and the early days of boot camp turns very dark. I liked it although I wish there had been a bit more to it

Fun With Your New Head - 3.5/5 - Very short story that is essentially a commercial for buying a new head. Funny enough

Moondust, the Smell of Hay, and Dialectical Materialism - 4/5 - The title might be longer than the story itself. It’s about a man stranded on the moon after a ship malfunction that is aware of his impending death. It’s sort of like The Martian without the humor or hope. I liked it

Thesis on Social Forms and Social Controls in the U.S.A. - 4/5 - A fake sociological thesis paper regarding a dystopian USA. There is a system where males have to become slaves for 1 year out of every 6. The men go through a forced schizophrenia where they can’t remember their time as free men while slaves and vice versa. It’s an interesting idea and a unique way to expose a reader to a dystopia, but the actual logic of it is nonsensical

Casablanca - 3.5/5 - A story of a retired American couple trying to survive and get out of Casablanca after the U.S. is bombed. Barriers with language, the fact their money is now nearly valueless, local anti-American sentiment, and a delay of realizing the extent of their trouble make their goal nearly impossible

[Scott Golden · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a strong collection of science fiction/fantasy/horror stories from a writer that deserves more recognition than he received during his lifetime [especially from the Disney Corporation]. Many of the stories here involve solitary figures struggling against overwhelming odds in a moment of personal crisis; unlike so much of popular fiction, these protagonists do not win, and the focus instead is upon how they handle their defeat -- or, as the case may be, their impending doom. It's tough stuff -- and it would not necessarily be unfair to say that it reflects a particularly pessimistic outlook on the part of the author (a notion which may, in part, explain Disch's lack of popularity) -- but nevertheless provides its own type of pleasures for the adventurous reader. Strongly recommended.
[Review intentionally posted on the 8th anniversary of Mr. Disch's death]

[Sharla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this as a kid, it was my mom's. There was one story in particular that has stuck with me all these years (probably close to 30!!!) and for that this remains one of my favorite story collections, essentially for one story.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disch is terrific short story writer. Sometimes these are close to the macabre parables and tales of Poe and Kafka and other times are strangely poetic sui generis sci fi. There is a bit of reliance on trick endings but the craft is so good I wasn’t bothered.

[Anna Prejanò · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Le Teste sono così divertenti! Ascoltate la Testa senza corpo parlare di Libertà, Morte, Bellezza e Dio padre. Fate innamorare la Testa di voi."
Per fortuna ci sono libri come questo che non ho ancora letto. Spero siano tantissimi.

[Reading · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 - These stories are very much of their time and brought to mind Ellison, Sturgeon and Delany. They're seemingly pointless and yet strangely compelling. The characters are the Everyman outsider and the angry American, the lost and lonely and all of them are either desperate or borderline. Something unnameable is lacking in their lives and despite the stories never resolving any of these issues they are strangely comforting.

No, this is not the greatest collection of sci-fi from this period but there were still a few gems. If these sorts of themes sound attractive to you might I suggest you check out the Dangerous Visions anthology?

[Beppi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book on my bookshelf…. I don’t know how I got it, but I am glad I did. « Cockroaches «, the first story, hooked me. As an aside, the book was published in 1968 which knowing this is interesting if you know history. I think the year is especially interesting in the last story, « Casablanca «  I’m still thinking about it. Disch has some very interesting takes on the sci fi genre. His aliens aren’t terrifying monsters. He doesn’t focus on the actual nuclear disaster. I found his stories quite original. This collection makes me want to read more by this author.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I'm not mad enough to 'get' these weird stories. I am pretty sure that I'm glad of that, given how disturbed I was by the bits that I did understand. The one I did appreciate is "Moondust, the Smell of Hay, and Dialectical Materialism." I do think that if you like the more bizarre PKD and New Wave SF you'll like this collection, but I def. won't go so far as to recommend it.

[David Meditationseed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super Cool! (Fun with Your New Head - 1966)

A short and subtle tale that blends consumer society and the most precious commodity we have: our brain, our mind.

Reading is fast, language is easy and there are only few lines. But it's funny and deep.

[Elise Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Le Teste sono così divertenti! Ascoltate la Testa senza corpo parlare di Libertà, Morte, Bellezza e Dio padre. Fate innamorare la Testa di voi."
Per fortuna ci sono libri come questo che non ho ancora letto. Spero siano tantissimi.

[Michele Avanzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the italian translation of this colletion many years ago, and some of the stories stayed in my mind as among the strangest and most frightening I have ever read, in particular "Nada" and "Linda, Daniel and Spike". What can you ask for more from a book?

[Nicola Strangis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ottima antologia, prima di due parti (la seconda pubblicata al 752 di Urania, La Stanza Vuota). Di fantascienza c’è ben poco, ma i racconti sono scritti tutti bene, per certi versi inquadrabili come ”scrittura creativa”.

[Ernest Hogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Early stories from a great writer. Highly recommended.

[Jillybeane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of these stories only make sense with a lil critical thinking; some of them don’t make any sense at all no matter how much you think about them. Still a fun read, full of Wait, What? moments.

[TrumanCoyote · Rating 3 out of 5]

[FIRST READING: * * ]

[Jake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as much as some of his others.