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She Loves You, She Loves You Not...

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A novel about coming out, finding love, and discovering your place in the world from National Book Award finalist Julie Anne Peters. 

Seventeen-year-old Alyssa thought she knew who she was. She had her family and her best friends and, most important, she had Sarah. Sarah, her girlfriend, with whom she dreamed with about the day they could move far away and live out and proud and accepted for themselves, instead of having to hide their relationship.

Alyssa never thought she would have to make that move by herself, but disowned by her father and cut off from everyone she loves, she is forced to move hundreds of miles away to live with Carly, the biological mother she barely knows, in a town where everyone immediately dismisses her as "Carly's girl." As Alyssa struggles to forget her past and come to terms with her future, will she be able to build a new life for herself and believe in love again? Or will she be forced to relive the mistakes that have cost her everything and everyone she cared about?

Told in Peters's thoughtful, compelling prose, Alyssa's story will speak to anyone who has known the joy and pain of first love and the struggle to start over again.

288 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2011

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3910 people want to read

About the author

Julie Anne Peters

32 books1,717 followers
Julie Anne Peters was born in Jamestown, New York. When she was five, her family moved to the Denver suburbs in Colorado. Her parents divorced when she was in high school. She has three siblings: a brother, John, and two younger sisters, Jeanne and Susan.

Her books for young adults include Define "Normal" (2000), Keeping You a Secret (2003), Luna (2004), Far from Xanadu (2005), Between Mom and Jo (2006), grl2grl (2007), Rage: A Love Story (2009), By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead (2010), She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not... (2011), It's Our Prom (So Deal with It) (2012), and Lies My Girlfriend Told Me (2014). Her young adult fiction often feature lesbian characters and address LGBT issues. She has announced that she has retired from writing, and Lies My Girlfriend Told Me will be her last novel. She now works full-time for the Colorado Reading Corps.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
Profile Image for Kelly.
Author 6 books1,221 followers
November 8, 2011
What this book does right is create a super strong and steadfast main character in Alyssa. She's a lesbian and she's not going to change herself for anyone, let alone is she going to hide it or be ashamed of it now that it got her kicked out of her father's house. These traits define her and they do so without making her an issue or making her one-dimensional. It spills over into everything she does.

However, it also means she becomes almost a bully toward other people. She's quick to assume sexuality of Finn, and I didn't quite believe in what they had (it felt like Finn herself, drifty, ill defined, and weak).

There are a lot of issues at hand here, and not all of them are believable for me. I thought the character relationships were perhaps among the most believable aspects of the story, especially when it came to Alyssa and her father's relationship. But I really needed more of her and Sarah's relationship. We get it through jarring second person passages that don't explain too much. In fact, it took reading through three of these to understand the "you" even referred to Alyssa herself. It's so strange in the context of the book it took me completely out of the story. Sarah made a huge impact on the course of everything in this book and yet, she sort of falls out of the story 3/4 of the way through, and we only get her in these second-person interludes. The style didn't justify or expand the story. It weakened it.

I found some of the story repetitive, too. I never read so many instances of showers as scene enders, nor have I read about so many darn car accidents (which were topics of conversation or somehow interrelated to the Big Events shaping Alyssa's life then AND now). And every time Alyssa needed to get away from Finn, she had to pee. It felt tired to me and unoriginal. I was surprised how easy it was to pick up on these things, but that's how overused they became.

Even with the issues, I found myself caring about Alyssa enough (even though I didn't like her all that much) to finish the book. The ending satisfied enough, though it left open the question of Sarah still.
Profile Image for Dana.
50 reviews
October 6, 2011
Well, I started this book and finished it all in one night. I could not put it down. It helped that it was basically the story of my own life. Never have I had so many similarities to the main character! (Minus the sexy motorcycle riding lesbian, who I am still anxiously awaiting.) Anyway, this is a great book. The emotion is high and very well done. The characters are likable and realistic. Julie Anne Peters always manages to write these stories that catch your attention and make you feel like you are living right along side the main character. This book made me feel like I should be braver when it comes to being true to myself in my everyday life. It is also a great book for those who have struggled or are struggling with coming out and moving on after a bad relationship. Definitely pick this up if you can! It is well worth the read, and it has a happy ending!!
Profile Image for Alex.
5 reviews4 followers
August 3, 2016
A great storyline flawed with aggravatingly poor writing structure, irrelevant and semi-pornographic interjections and repetitive scenarios. The number of times the main character physically trips throughout the story is unbearable. Any romantic expression cliché you can think of has been used in this by the author. If you have the patience and tenacity to plunge through the seemingly cobbled-together style, then you'll eventually blot out the poorer parts of the book and come remember the actually decent story line.
Profile Image for Jill G..
443 reviews63 followers
March 21, 2012
I do really like Julie Anne Peters, and I definitely enjoyed this read. I like the characters and plot lines and details she develops, and I like reading their stories. I think it was just hard reading this immediately after A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend, which was written so wonderfully. Peters, like some other high-profile queer YA authors I've read, just uses too much cheesy phrasing sometimes and it makes my brain squirm a little. And the protagonist seemed like she was sassy and independent but yet then was SO needy and dependent on her ex, who was pretty underdeveloped and seemed irritating so it was hard to understand why she'd be so heartbroken over her, anyway.

That said, there are a ton of interesting issues presented in this novel, like having a mom who's an exotic dancer and working on not judging her for that, among other things, and I loved Arlo and really, really wanted to be able to go to Colorado and eat at his restaurant, like now.

So that was a weird review.
Profile Image for T.J. Fox.
Author 1 book14 followers
September 30, 2015
I wasn’t a fan of this. I’d have to say that is because this is not my genre of choice (another genre label mistake on the library’s part). This book is a good example of why that is.

The majority of this book is really kind of a giant pity party held by the main character, Alyssa. I get that is kind of part of the deal with this age range, but it is incredibly irritating. I would not have picked this up if I had realized the entire book was going to be about a 17 year old girl. I kept expecting something along the lines of her growing up and past that age (again, because of the label mistake).

I did read the entire thing and I think the only character in the entire book that had any redeeming qualities at all was Arlo. I didn’t get anything at all from any of the other characters and that is the main reason why I couldn’t even rate this as an okay book for me.
Profile Image for Raye of the Dead.
117 reviews115 followers
June 22, 2018
Just like every other time I've read a book by Julie Anne Peters, I can’t stop talking about it but can’t seem to write a review that does the book justice.

It's good. Read it.
Profile Image for Racky.
14 reviews15 followers
July 25, 2011
When we were seventeen where were we? Most of us, probably, under the safety of our home with our family. Sent to school by our parents, have great friends, and who knows, maybe have found love at that age as well. Among us is Alyssa, living a safe life with her father until he kicked her out. It's crazy how life turns out, one minute you're inside the comfort zone of what we call home and the next you were just out in the world, all alone; no friends or family to support you, just on your own.

Kicked out of your own home by your own father nonetheless. Thrown in exile with your biological mother you've barely known. No friends. No love. Who knows about love? Everything was lost because of love, because she risked it all for love? She loves you, she loves you not..is a story of being kicked out of your safe world to the dangerous unknown. Haha. What I mean is it's a story about finding your place in the world after being kicked out of your comfort zone, a story of standing after you hit rock bottom.

I love Julie Anne Peter's style of writing here. She puts you in Alyssa shoes. Hence, the tears after finally Alyssa came up to her father before going back to her new life.

"I want you to know that I love you. You're my father and I will always be your daughter." Everyone hopes for a happy ending. I was hoping his father would get over his being an asshole but reality is, this happens to must of us who comes out to their parents. That's why most of us chooses to keep hidden from our families. Homophobia, sucks. But the fear of hatred, and of not being accepted by our family sucks even harder, 100x harder. "Being gay is a choice but homophobia is."
Profile Image for Kelly Hager.
3,109 reviews155 followers
May 30, 2011
After Alyssa's dad learns that she's gay (in about the worst way possible), she's kicked out of the house and sent to live with her mom. The problem is that she barely knows her mom, Carly. (Carly left when she was a baby and they've barely had contact since.) Alyssa's heartbroken. She misses her family (dad, stepmom, younger brother) and she especially misses her girlfriend, Sarah. She's not sure how to move on and create a new life.

It takes a while for the full extent of what happened before Alyssa left town/was forced to leave town to be revealed. Also flashbacks are told in second person ("You saw Sarah in the hallway"), but that wasn't as jarring as I'd have expected. :)

Alyssa is sort of a young 17-year-old. She's constantly attracted to the wrong women (and you should know that I don't judge, because I am, too) but she's then surprised when it doesn't work out.

I think this is such an important book to read, because the perception is that it's so easy to be gay now. (And don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be gay now, as opposed to even 30 years ago. Things ARE a lot better, but we still have a long way to go.) I hear people say things about how we're ramming our lifestyles down people's throats when really, we're just trying to be ourselves. And incidentally, gay teens have a high suicide rate, and you know why? Because you can get kicked out, attacked or even worse just for being who you are.

Anything that will help a teenager (gay or otherwise) feel less alone is something I strongly support. Recommended.
Profile Image for Sally.
Author 23 books140 followers
August 16, 2012
Is "uneven parallel bars" a thing over there? Here we have either parallel bars or uneven ones... I don't get how something could be both :P

Anyway! This book. I liked it pretty much, but I just couldn't stand Sarah and didn't see the appeal in her - she was immature, clingy, dishonest, self-centred, a cheater, manipulative, you name it... (sound familiar much?!) I don't like people like that in real life so reading about them isn't much fun! God, what a jerk Ben was too. And M'Chelle just annoyed me for the ridiculous name spelling. Wtf.

Oh god, Alyssa's dad needs to go die in a fire. I loved Paulie though, what an awesome brother! I just wish Tanith had been a stronger character, because she could have been SO good for Alyssa.

While Finn was interesting, I didn't see as much appeal in her (as a love-interest I mean) either. And Alyssa herself was at times a pretty weak character, not incredibly inspiring. I found Carly and Arlo by far the most fun to read about. Alyssa's shifts at the cafe were the highlights of the book, they had me laughing out loud at times! And the big fire/flood at the end was pretty epic too. But the romantic plotlines... I just couldn't get as invested in them.
Profile Image for Brianne.
9 reviews3 followers
January 15, 2015
Read this is about the span of 5 hours. I first read "Lies My Girlfriend Told Me" and loved it and I'm glad this is the second book I read by her. I'm a lover of cute stories and this is one of them! Internal monologue took a bit to get used to but definitely needed to progress the story smoothly. I'm excited to read more of Julie Anne Peters!
Profile Image for Cat.
161 reviews1 follower
May 31, 2022
2.5 rounded up. I just didn't enjoy this. It was tense and stressful and it felt like not only were the characters unlikeable to me but none of them really seemed to like each other other except on the turn of a dime for five minutes just to flip again. Vaguely depressing in that "trying to say something deep and meaningful without actually saying anything deep and meaningful" kind of way. No real feeling of a satisfying resolution for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Amory.
1,082 reviews37 followers
April 19, 2020
The story itself and the writing style was great, and maybe even one of my favorite Julie Anne Peters books, but I just can't rate it higher than two stars with how judgemental the main character was about bisexuality and sex work. Having to read the entire story through her point of view when her point of view could be so harsh was getting to me.
Profile Image for Katherine.
778 reviews59 followers
July 11, 2012
RATING: 3.5 Out Of 5

The grip of loneliness begins in my stomach and crawls up my chest and lungs and throat. I pick a daisy out of the bowl and hold it up to my nose, closing my eyes, and the bitter odour reminds me of Sarah and home and...everything. I pluck a petal. "She loves you." I drop it in the bowl and pluck another. "She loves you not..."

A volcano erupts inside, and I burst into tears."


I first discovered Peter's when I read her novel By The Time You Read This I'll Be Dead. It was fantastic and very well written. However when it came to this novel something.. lacked. Something was missing..

The novel is about a lesbian girl named Alyssa who unknown to readers in the begining is sent to go live with her absent mother, Carly who is a masseuse and body trainer by day and stripper by night. We learn that Alyssa is heavily troubled and it is all to do with a girl who is named Sarah and through the progression of the novel we learn all about how Alyssa met Sarah and about their troubled relationship.

I really liked the style of the novel; it flipped between present, Alyssa reflecting on past events and then an actual passage from the past - three different styles. What I liked about the past passages is they are written like this "you said, 'someone else.' Dad levelled you with a look. 'Bring him home.'" You looked at her.. you told them this... It’s like someone is telling her about her own memories. Whilst the rest of the styles were in first-person. So i found that interesting.

One thing that made me snicker was "She pointed to a wall where GO WILDCATS banner was taped." Why is it that everytime there is a school team they are always call Wildcats. Makes me always think of High School Musical.

I feel as if this novel didn’t have the same allure that By The Time You Read This I'll Be Dead did and I don't know why. Maybe it’s because I didn't like the main character as much as I should have... Maybe because while some passages where written with such emotional depth (like the passage I put in above) it wasn’t consistent throughout the while novel, like with Lauren Oliver's Pandemonium Delirium 2 which has emotional depth on nearly every page. So I was very disappointed with that. On a whole I liked it but... it just wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be...
Profile Image for Wren .
385 reviews96 followers
February 20, 2017
This review can also be found at http://fortheloveofbooksreviews.blogs...

Alyssa's father doesn't react well when she comes out to him as a lesbian. She ends up disowned, broken up with her girlfriend, and taken in by Carly, her birth mother, a woman she barely knows at all. Adjusting to her new life proves to be tough, as she must deal with the pain of rejection, the heartbreak from her failed relationship, and her mother's own secret past. Along the way she meets Finn, a new friend in this new town, a friend who might just turn into something more.

I have a few things to say about this book. First, I really liked the portrayal of an LGBTQ person struggling with bigotry from within the family. I feel Alyssa's situation was incredibly well written, and that the author did a great job of expressing Alyssa's feelings on the matter and how it impacted her in her day to day life, both before and after coming out.

I also enjoyed reading about all of the different characters, from Carly (Alyssa's biological mother) to Arlo (the manager of a store who lives his life in a wheelchair). However, there was one issue with the characters: I didn't really like the main character! I was able to empathize with Alyssa considering her issues coming out and being rejected, but as a person, I didn't find her very likeable. She was a bit too judgemental for my taste, she wasn't the kind of person I'd like to be friends with in real life.

I also feel like the pacing was a bit too slow for me. While I read this book fairly quickly, there wasn't truly much going on. I understand that contemporary fiction can sometimes be a bit slower than fantasy fiction, for example, but there has to be some excitement. While there certainly were exciting pieces, such as Carly's past and the mystery surrounding it, much of the excitement was jammed into the last thirty percent of the book, which made the rest of the book seem so slow, and the ending way too fast!

There really isn't much else to say about this book. It was short, and while it portrayed a situation that unfortunately is all too common in the real world, the main character wasn't really likeable and the pacing was too slow for my taste.

I recommend this book to those looking for YA contemporary featuring LGBTQ characters. If you want to read a book about someone dealing with rejection due to their sexuality, this novel provides a look into the thoughts, hopes, and worries of a teenager struggling with that situation exactly.
Profile Image for Jennifer Bagazin.
123 reviews
January 24, 2014
I went through a variety of emotions when reading this book. One minute I'm repulsed because of all the gayness and the next I'm bawling my eyes out and swimming in my own tears. It was pretty unusual that the theme of the book was about lesbians. Not that I have anything against them. Its just that I still find it hard to accept them in our judgmental society even though their brothers in the gay community are already accepted. And its also the first time that I've read a book in a lesbian's point of view. I've read gay books sure, but never on lesbians. It was really interesting to see their side of the story for once.

Now talking about Alyssa. There is a lot going on with that girl, and she surely has this uncanny ability to trust the wrong people. She's always let down by love, and she's slowly tearing herself away in the process. It kinda reminds me of myself. The only difference is that I think I'm past the point of no return while she still has a chance to go back to social interaction. Anyway, I still don't know what to make of her. She's difficult at times; I hate her because she accepted Finn into her life so easily, but I also love her because she deserves to be loved and she's brave, caring, and would do anything for the one she loves. In the end, I;m glad that she's finally found peace within herself, even though she's still not in good terms with her homophobic father. But still, I'm happy for her. Albeit she had to leave her house in Virginia, she still found a place where she can be accepted for who she is and make a family of her own.
25 reviews
January 24, 2012
This review is not to help people really decide whether or not to read it, it's just for people who know me...
So, this was the first book I've ever read with a lesbian main character, and I have to say, at first she annoyed me. The main character just seemed really shallow at first, even though you felt bad for her rather horrible situation. All she could think about was Sarah, which makes sense, and what happened must have sucked, so that didn't bother me, but then all she could think about was Finn, which really bothered me because I still don't get the basis of their relationship! Finn had no personality except for the fact that she was attractive and had commitment issues!
By the end of the book, though, I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. There's actually a little bit of plot, and it's not just super ridiculously shallow chick lit (although it's close). Not everything works out perfectly, but enough does to leave you smiling at the end, and all of the characters grew on me. The complicated relationship of Alyssa and Carly really added a lot to the book, and it seemed more realistic than I thought at first. This is vaguely recommended if you're in the mood for light reading to make you smile and escape from the real world, although if you're actually looking for something amazing or interesting I would go elsewhere.
Profile Image for Anna.
1,248 reviews31 followers
February 26, 2012
First of all, I'm always glad to see another book published about lesbians and queer-identified folks, so when I saw that Julie Anne Peters had a new book, I was eager to read. That being said, the book was alright, but it had so many of the same old story lines and themes that I was kind of disappointed.

The book is set up rather strangely, with "flashbacks" about Alyssa and Sara's relationship coming to us in the second person, and it just felt really weird and unreal. And of course, we don't learn about the whole of their relationship, like "THE THING THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING" until towards the end, and it turns out, of course, to be something devastating -- between Alyssa and her family, Alyssa and Sara, Alyssa and her previous friends, and Alyssa and her mother. I know it's a common theme in YA queer lit, but I just don't believe that every queer story is as devastating as these YA novels make them out to be. I'm not in any way belittling those difficult stories and lives lived, but I just really wish there were books out there reveling in the awesomeness of a teen finding her identity and just living it. The story doesn't have to come out of her devastation about being queer, does it?

Anyway, end rant. This isn't just about this book, obviously, but the queer YA lit scene in general. The ending with her family was interesting, I should say.
Profile Image for Emily Thomas.
8 reviews
October 30, 2015
The book ‘She Loves You, She Loves You Not...’ is a young adult novel by author Julie Anne Peters. In it was protagonist, Alyssa, and how she has to deal with living in a completely different environment after being disowned by her father after coming out. She has to deal with the change in living with her mother as opposed to her father, and has to live in a small mountain city, where everyone knows everyone and she knows no one. She constantly remembers her old home, more specifically Sarah, her girlfriend that led to her being kicked out of the house. It’s an amazing book, filled with lots of character depth. It wasn't too long of a book, so it was a fairly quick read, which is good because you won't want to put it down! It’s also great for any LGBT teens looking for some representation in their reading material. It can be fairly ‘chick-flick’-y, so I would primarily recommend it to teen girls, but it’s really great for any young adult reader.
Profile Image for Jennifer McMurrain.
Author 46 books104 followers
February 26, 2011
I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of this book, which made me extremely excited because I really enjoyed "By the Time You Read This I'll Be Dead."

Though this book was good, I felt it missed the "Wow" factor. Besides the fact that the main character is a lesbian, I found this to be your typical teen love angst book. There were also parts of this book written in the 2nd person. There's a reason this is typically not done, it trips up the brain, anyway it tripped up mine.

Because I have a lot of friends who are parents that look to my opinion I feel I need to offer up a few warnings. This book is geared for 16 and above in my opinion due to language and sexual situations.
Profile Image for Jade Diamond.
236 reviews38 followers
November 12, 2016
What this book does right is create a super strong and steadfast main character in Alyssa. She’s a lesbian and she’s not going to change herself for anyone, she not going to hide it or be ashamed of it now that it got her kicked out of her father’s house.

There are a lot of issues at hand here, and not all of them are believable for me. I thought the character relationships were perhaps among the most believable aspects of the story, especially when it came to Alyssa and her father’s relationship. But I really needed more of her and Sarah’s relationship.

Read Full Review Here
Profile Image for Kellee Moye.
2,923 reviews340 followers
July 25, 2011
I cannot imagine living in a family who I knew wouldn't approve of me if they knew the truth about me. Alyssa has had to live that way for the last 4 years of her life after she came out to her friends at age 13. She knew she had to keep the truth from her father as he was an open homophobe. She Loves You, She Loves You Not tells two stories: one of Alyssa's first real relationship followed by her father finding out she was a lesbian and disowning her. Two of her starting over in a new town where she has been forced to move to to live with her mostly nonexistent biological mother. This novel is a truthful and honest look into Alyssa's life- the peaks and the valleys.
Profile Image for Kim Burean.
77 reviews3 followers
January 7, 2012
Alyssa is disowned by her father after he finds her in bed with her girlfriend, Sarah. She is sent to live with her mother, who abandoned Alyssa as a child, in Colorado.

Alyssa is pretty messed up from getting kicked out by her dad, as well as the break-up of her relationship with Sarah. Her mom is a stripper and Alyssa suspects that she is also a prostitute. She meets several people in her new town and even a new love interest. She learns a lot about herself and those around her.

This book deals realistically with the feelings of someone who has been judged and rejected because of who they are. Alyssa feels a lot of sadness, anger and self-doubt.
Profile Image for Jenny.
887 reviews11 followers
February 14, 2015
Quite unlikable characters...Alyssa, Carly, Finn, Arlo, Sarah, Ben, Paulie, M'Chelle, Tanith, Geena. On reflection, what Fat Angie and this book have in common is that the worst thing in the world (in their imaginations) has already happened before the book starts, we only find out what that is in flashbacks, and these books show what happens next to imperfect, messy, sometimes quite unlikable and fairly inarticulate girls whose world collapses. The world does not in fact end, and here's where, if you let things go, then they have a chance of getting better. I read this book very fast, not my cup of tea.
Profile Image for M.
87 reviews
January 17, 2016
If you changed every instance of the word "vampire" to "lesbian"in a copy of Twilight, you'd have something resembling a Julie Anne Peters novel.

I would've given this one two stars, but I was really uncomfortable with there being a half-Inuit character in the novel who is a "drifter" who grew up in foster care because her mother was "institutionalized" when she was a toddler without any reference to a: actual Inuit culture or b: to the ways in which the character's story actually reflects how histories of colonial violence have affected and continue to affect indigenous people's lives. (see: sixties scoop)
Profile Image for Anne.
1,219 reviews
June 10, 2012
I guess 2 1/2 stars, but this book was just not that interesting. Very predictable and I rolled my eyes one too many times. It has actually been a couple of weeks since I finished it, and I can't even quite remember why I found it so dull, I'm not even sure of the names of the characters. Bad sign.
3 reviews
June 30, 2018
She loves you, she loves you not is a story about a troubled teenager named Alyssa who is forced to moved out after her dad finds out about her sexuality. She is forced to move in with her mother who she barely knows, Carly, in a new town she has a chance to start over. During her time in this new town Alyssa is forced to re-evaluate her relationship with and over come her attachment to her ex girlfriend Sarah.

The author of this book uses an excellent technique of using Alyssa remembering and dwelling on her past as a chance to inform the reader of how she got to where she was now. The author does this well and uses it too hook you in and will make you unable to put the book down as the author leaves you on a cliffhanger of her past.

This book deals with the theme of being Queer and shows the negative interactions and biases Queer people face on the daily. These negative interactions are heavily demonstrated in the book by Alyssa getting kicked out of her house for being a Lesbian, when Alyssa remembers her past and tells the reader about the homophobic biases their Lgbtqia+ safe space at school faces from students and administration at her school and when Alyssa remembers homophobic interactions with her dad and her ex girlfriends family as well as interactions from strangers. These homophobic biased still relate to today's society as these interactions and worse are still all to likely to happen especially in more Conservative countries.

I thought this book was okay. The build up at the start was great and had me hooked. I found myself hanging on to read more about Alyssa's past, more about Finns mysterious character and where Alyssa and Finn's relationship was going next. Near the end the book lost me a little bit. I found the plot line of Ben un-engaging and forced as all of a sudden he betrayed his friends without warning and i really felt that this drastic character development ruined how i felt about the book. This book went over some important issues and at times had me unable to put it down but near the end lost me a little bit. Overall i would give this book three stars.
Profile Image for Laina SpareTime.
718 reviews22 followers
Read
December 30, 2020
Cross-posted from my blog where there's more information on where I got my copy and everything, and live links.

(3.5 but not a strong enough one to round up to 4.)

I've talked a bit before about how I enjoy the kind of "life after the big deal thing happens" books, and this is one of them. I like seeing people deal with consequences and life changes more, sometimes, than I like reading about the drama and the falling apart bits. That's a thing I enjoy. (Obviously, did you see how many blog posts I just found? And there are probably more! But it was getting to an embarrassingly long time ago and an embarrassing quality of blog post, so I stopped.) The small town setting also worked really well for me, and generally, I enjoyed this.

Let's jump into the other bits, because my face kind of hurts and I'm debating an ice pack. Wisdom teeth suck.

Plot Talk: It's pretty much what is says in the summary. Stuff happened, girl moves to a new down, girl deals with new town and old stuff. I don't think it's the most original plot on the world, I guess, but it works fine. Yeah, you've probably read something similar before, but whatever. It was cool with me.

Characters: Alyssa is quite honestly pretty unlikeable. And I liked that! She hates driving and is a terrible driver at that, isn't an altogether sympathetic character, makes a lot of really horrifically ill-advised decisions. She is definitely a complex, interesting character, and I don't think everyone will like her, honestly. I'm into that. I don't approve of everything she does, and there are things I'll probably mention, but she is definitely interesting to read about.

One thing I liked a lot was that her love interest was a WOC, because, yeah, that's always nifty. She's also Canadian, so excuse me a second while I wave a flag. Yay patriotism and all that. And I think her depiction as a person of colour is handled pretty well, but I am by no means an expert there. I did a bit of googling, and didn't get anything I could link to, so hopefully there wasn't any issues with that. I also thought that character, Finn, was a nifty character. She's kind of got a rebel without a cause thing going on, and that's a thing I can get behind.

I think on average, Peters writes very complex, and interesting characters. Not all of them are sympathetic, or even morally good characters, but they are interesting. I especially liked Alyssa's mother, who is much like Alyssa in being complicated and imperfect. With Carly, Alyssa's mother, it is really nice to see someone who is a sex-worker treated generally treated with respect, and not degraded or insulted by the narrative. However, while better than most, it has some issues. The language can be pretty whorephobic/sex-shaming*, which does make sense because of Alyssa's POV, but full-service sex work is treated as something much worse than Carly's dancing in a club.

I'm not explaining it well, I don't think, but the terminology used definitely has some issues. Carly doesn't even say "I don't do that kind of sex work" or something like that. She says "I'm not a wh*re." I realize it's YA, and there would be pushback, but I think objectively, that still has issues, and there could have been better ways to go.

PG-13 stuff: It's for older YA readers, probably. Underage drinking, some sex which I think is handled very well, just mature themes in general. Alyssa's father has a really bad reaction to finding out she's a lesbian, so if that would bother you, maybe pass on this one. I will say, though, and it's totally a spoiler so you can skip this part if you want, but I know some people appreciate knowing this, there is a happy ending when it comes to the romance. There's not any tragedy or anything.

Maybe the only other thing I'd mention is that there is generally a fair amount of age difference between Alyssa and the people she dates (both younger and older), so if that's a thing for you that you don't enjoy, maybe pass on this one if you don't think you'll enjoy it.

Cons, complaints, bad stuff, etc.: Like I said, I think the depiction of Finn is good, but I won't say as it's entirely non-problematic in an "I'm an expert" way, just in an "I hope it was" way. And I think some elements of Carly's work are handled well, but others don't seem to be handled as well. The narrative changes up the tense and POV (going from first to second person), and while I liked that, I could see other people not being fond of it.

I also did not really like that Alyssa is a little too aggressive about trying to get her girlfriends/love interests to come out, which is pretty uncool. I mean, the worst case scenario of outing people without their consent is people die, so that's a problem. I could easily see people really not liking that, and I won't blame them in the least. That definitely was not my favourite part of her character. I also felt almost like she was very... I don't want to say defensive, but maybe a little... mean? I don't know. I'm kind of uncertain about how I felt about that whole business.

Cover comments: It's very pretty. It actually made me think the book was going to be a touch darker/more depressing than it actually was, though, but it's fine.

Conclusion: I always sound like I didn't like stuff at all! I definitely did enjoy this. I spent a Friday night reading it all in one sitting. I absolutely adored the whole small town/tourist trap in the off-season angle, and how much of a city mouse Alyssa was when confronted with nature. I liked seeing a character that hates driving. The ending is very, very sweet and hopeful. A lot of the narrative is about the fallout of Alyssa coming out to her father, so if you're over those stories, this might not be your thing, but I thought there was enough of everything else to balance it. Bear in mind, also, this book is already 5 years old, and a lot of things change in half a decade.

This was solid to me. It had some definite issues, but I don't regret reading it, and it probably even gets to keep its shelf space. I don't think it's going to work for everyone, but I can see some people connecting to it, and enjoying it a lot. It wasn't phenomenal for me, but neither was it horrible, and I genuinely enjoyed it. The writing just worked for me in most areas. I'm giving it three and a half roses.

Other notes:

- *I'm sincerely hoping I'm using the best language possible here, but if I'm not, leave a comment or shoot me an email or a DM on Twitter or a messenger pigeon, and I'll change it if it's needed.

- There's a character who uses a wheelchair who owns a cafe. He wears gloves when he cooks, because his hands touch the rims of his wheelchair. Okay, sure. But if you touch stuff with your gloves that's germ-y, your gloves are dirty now, and they need to be changed. Gloves don't just stay not-dirty. They never mention changing the gloves and THAT BOTHERED ME.
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