A Reckoning

by May Sarton

When Laura Spelman learns that she will not get well, she looks on this last illness as a journey during which she must reckon up her life, give up the nonessential, and concentrate on what she calls "the real connections." The heart of the story is Laura's realization that for her the real connections have been with women: her brilliant and devastating mother, a difficult daughter, and most of all a woman she knew when she was young.

Genres: Fiction, Classics, LGBT, Literature, 20th Century, Death, Novels

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1978

About the author

May Sarton was born on May 3, 1912, in Wondelgem, Belgium, and grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Her first volume of poetry, Encounters in April, was published in 1937 and her first novel, The Single Hound, in 1938. An accomplished memoirist, Sarton boldly came out as a lesbian in her 1965 book Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing. Her later memoir, Journal of a Solitude, was an account of her experiences as a female artist. Sarton died in York, Maine, on July 16, 1995.

Reviews

[Julie G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look thy last on all things lovely. . .
--Walter de la Mare

I went from having no idea who May Sarton was, to ordering several more of her books on the first day of reading this.

I went from thinking that the title, A Reckoning, had zero meaning, to believing that the essence of this novel couldn't be captured by any other name.

I went from assuming that I had no interest in another story of a woman facing her own mortality, to wishing every book could be this meaningful.

This little novel from 1978 is like a snowball rolling down a mountainside, growing bigger and bigger as it collects more substance along the way.

I felt, at times, that I was reading Penelope Lively's work; at other times, it felt like the work of Margaret Lawrence. Occasionally I felt the presence of Anne Tyler's wisdom, too. (Comparisons to Carol Shields and John Updike came later to my mind).

Ms. Sarton's writing manages to feel both familiar and completely unique. It is easily some of the best writing I have ever encountered in my life.

I went from feeling like I had no time to read an actual novel right now, to realizing that I could not do anything but sit, riveted, as I let this story crash over me, submerge me completely in a life that wasn't my own, but felt as powerfully as though it were.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Only my third of Sarton’s novels (after Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing and As We Are Now), and my favorite so far. A woman with terminal lung cancer decides to die on her own terms, but first she has some messy relationships to deal with, including those with her difficult mother, Sybille, now in a nursing home with dementia, and her free-spirited daughter, Daisy.

That matrilineal trio is just part of the book’s sizeable and largely female cast: everyone from Aunt Minna, who comes to read to Laura, to Harriet Moors, the final author Laura works with as a fiction editor at a Boston publishing house. Harriet has written a debut roman à clef about coming out as a lesbian but is afraid of her parents’ reaction and the ramifications the book could have for her and her girlfriend. Laura has two homosexual relations: her sister, Jo, and her younger son, Ben, a painter. What is more, during the brief course of her illness Laura realizes that the most important of the “real connections” remaining to her is that with her friend Ella, with whom she spent a year abroad in France.

Though Sarton stops short of implying that Laura has been a frustrated lesbian all along, she does have her voice to Harriet the belief that women’s love stories need to be aired: “Women’s feeling for one another has been a buried world for so long, a cause of fear and shame. Now at last we are beginning to understand the blessing.” Elsewhere Laura says, “the time has come for works of art that will deal with all this naturally and without sensationalism.” At this late stage, Laura also thinks about how marriage and motherhood pose threats to women’s identity, and ponders all the various unfulfilled women in her life (including her mother, sisters and daughter). This might not be groundbreaking feminist stuff, but it adds philosophical substance to the novel, especially considering that Laura doesn’t really wrestle with death – it’s dying, as a physical process, that bothers her.

Aspects of the novel feel autobiographical, if sometimes before the fact. Even though Sarton hadn’t had any major illnesses at the time of writing A Reckoning, her mother died of lung cancer, so perhaps her memories of that infused the novel. (Both mother and daughter had breast cancer and lung cancer, and died of one or the other.) Laura lives alone with her beloved dog and cat, Grindle and Sasha, who are easily pictured as Sarton’s Tamas and Bramble, and loves her garden and her little routines. And Mary O’Brien, who comes to provide at-home care as Laura grows weaker, is like any of Sarton’s younger, selfless acolytes-turned-helpers.

It’s easy to sympathize with Laura’s conflicting impulses: to let go and to hold on; to be alone and to have people always with her as a comforting presence. The novel gets a little melodramatic and didactic towards the end (Laura feeling a sense of communion with all women, etc.), and there is some repetition in terms of emotions and responses. If there are remaining loose ends in the relationships, though, that’s entirely true to how anyone will leave things at their death.

Some favorite lines:

“What else would she do with a precious day? Not waste a drop of energy, enjoy every moment. Just now it was the rising sun, touching her bureau and turning the soft wood a deep rose, then making a cut-glass paperweight sparkle.”

“Pure life is what I want, she thought—trees, snow, sky, the animals, a glass of milk, and music—these together amounted to a taste of heaven on earth.”

(Laura, thinking of her mother) “All human relations are riddles. And the same person may be a fury and an angel all at the same time.”

[Mona · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful novel about a woman's death. I read it years ago, but never forgot it.

[Christine Boyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I start to read this book, it captures me right away. Nice writing style, and one that immediately draws me into the main character's head with a third person point of view. Lots of reflection on the end of life like in Banville's, The Sea.

Then very early on the main character mentions a sister who was a lesbian. I thought, okay, cool, a gay character, pretty progressive for the late 1970s. Then the main character suspects that their mother squashed a lesbian relationship of that sister because mother herself wished SHE had been able to have that kind of relationship with another woman. Hmm, okay, interesting. I just thought it was because mother was trying to protect her daughter because of the issues that could arise back in the day (1940sish?) Enter the "Aunt" character, never married and a woman once had a "crush" on her. Then the MAIN character suddenly mentions her dying thoughts going back to "Ella" a woman she loved and knew before they both married men. Suddenly I'm thinking, "what the ???" So I Google Sarton and yes, she was a lesbian. As I continue reading, the main character mentions that her grandson is like a girl, her granddaughter is like a boy, and that she believes there is so much androgyny and her 35 year old son is gay, oh, and...here it comes, a young woman approaches the main character trying to publish a book about lesbians and is herself, a lesbian.

Before anyone decides this is a criticism of lesbians, it is not. One of my best friends for years is a gay man. I'm all about gay and lesbian freedoms, rights, marriage, etc. But if you've read my reviews, you know I need my fiction to be realistic. So my problem with this novel is PLAUSIBILITY. I mean, seriously, there weren't this many gays and lesbians at my friend's gay wedding! It kept bringing me out of the story. I also felt like it was all a bit self-indulgent, and the author inserting her own fantasies in the text when they were completely not in line with a realistic plot. And believe me, plenty of male writers have done the same - equally as annoying! It doesn't matter if the fantasies are gay or straight, male or female, it's that it doesn't make sense to the story.

A high 3 stars for the solid writing. Also, it was also one of the best novels I've ever read for what the process may be like for someone who is dying from cancer.

[Maryjoamani · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a moving short novel about a woman in her sixties with lung cancer who decides to fully live the last few months and takes stock of her life in the process--the reckoning. Simply written, short, it calls us to live life to the fullest now, and as David Whyte the poet wrote in Sweet Darkness: Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you. I am also reading May Sarton's journals at this time and Recovery: A Journal, written after a year of severe trials both personally and professionally is full of wisdom and beauty.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel was incredible. It was quite a cathartic experience reading it, too. May Sarton beautifully captures human experience. I am eager to read more of her writing.

[Evan Fish]

May Sarton is becoming a favorite writer of mine. This is the second book of her's I've enjoyed.

[Jemez Mama · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a Book Club title. I found Laura a bit over the top in her obsession with women to women relationships and what they meant or didn't mean or should have meant etc. I know she is dying in the book and as such is entitled to do exactly what she wants till the end of her short time on earth. Instead of introspection, I sometimes felt like her whole life was one disappointing relationship after another. She did love her precious Charles, but other than him, everyone she knows or is related to is just a compilation of faults and losses and missed opportunities. Not one I would recommend to read although I am sure it will lead to a lively discussion at the Book Club, and for that it was worth reading.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Laura, a professional woman of 60, discovers that she has inoperable cancer, she wants to take control of her own dying process. However, she hasn't reckoned on the needs of her family, or how the progress of the disease will affect her independence. Gradually she comes to terms with unfinished business in this gently told narrative, and as with Sarton's poetry, there are parallel glimpses of beauty in the natural world.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

A most moving and insightful book. I read it years ago and was moved to tears by its emotional impact.

[Jacqueline Masumian · Rating 3 out of 5]

A woman learns she is dying of lung cancer and tries to maintain some sense of autonomy as family members deal with her desire to avoid invasive treatment. May Sarton does a remarkable job of getting inside the head of a dying woman, but the novel is so dated, full involvement in the story is denied. Written in 1978, the book also touches on women's lib, but has a soft take on that as well.

If there is a more up-to-date treatment of this theme in a more contemporary novel, I'd love to know about it.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A woman of sixty with terminal lung cancer decides to face her death by focusing on “essentials” and coming to terms with the people and events of her life. A thoughtful, rich, and moving book

[Jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

May Sarton’s “A Reckoning” is —as often the case with a good book— hard for me to review. What can I say? What’s it about? Relationships, connections and disconnections, as the author eloquently attempts to express the inexpressible. Barton sheds light on the tender and ruthless end of life journey of the main character, Laura Spelman, a courageous and private individual who wants to do this alone, her way. This is far from a depressing read, it is compelling, enlightening and touching. I keep thinking of the words of a dear friend, towards the end of her own life’s journey, who said, “I didn’t know dying would be such hard work.” A Reckoning is somehow a balm and a celebration on the mysteries of life.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

The theme, as the title suggests, is the sad, slow process of grieving the death of May's long-time friend. This is a journal, which by its nature, and because of the theme, is rather repetitive and depressing.

I appreciate her amazing persistence, fed by a talent many know and respect, she keeps on writing a novella in which she finds no joy. In a way, I'd rather not know that but author's are subject to the same emotions as the rest of humankind. Sometimes work that we love doesn't nurture us. I stopped reading this book because I felt like I had reaped all there was, and of course, I may be very wrong in that assessment.

[Harriett Milnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just did a little math and figured out that May Sarton was 66 when this book was published. She continued writing poetry, novels and prose until her death, almost twenty years later in 1995. I thought perhaps it was about her own death, but I am wrong.

The novel is about a woman of sixty, with inoperable cancer, who wants to come to a reckoning about her life. And death. She is able to meet with her sons, a daughter, a daughter-in-law,an aunt, her mother (who has dementia and doesn't talk), her doctor and friends. She is able, although getting weaker, to think through her life amd finish her reckoning.

[Veronica Zundel · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first May Sarton, but definitely not the last. A beautifully written exploration of female friendship and how to die well, I didn't quite manage to finish the copy I borrowed from the retreat library. Must go on retreat again soon to finish it!

PS I went on retreat again and finished it with very little need to look back and refresh my memory. Very satisfying.

[Virginia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interestingly without realizing it I pick up two books in a row about a dying mother and her relationships with her daughter in particular and other members of her family and an old girlhood friend. Very introspective and more serious than other book and talks much about the relationships of women.

[Emma Thomason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Moving and insightful. Others have commented on her obsession with women and their relationships. At times this did jar, it seemed it was being crowbarred in and definitely interfered with the emotion of the last scene. Bearing in mind however when this book was written maybe this would have read differently in the early 80s from a feminist perspective.

[Darleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant account of a woman's preparation for death after her diagnosis of cancer. i think I like this book so much because I can empathize with the protagonist rather closely. I appreciate her need for privacy and her longing for a death on her own terms.

[Lisa Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lord, it has been forever since I read this book! I don't remember details but I remember a fineness that one can always be assured of in Sarton. The story tells of a dying woman's reflections on the past.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

exquisite

[Susan Hester · Rating 3 out of 5]

Woman dying of lung cancer takes stock of her life and relationships. Well written.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice, introspective novel about a woman who finds out she's dying and attempts to reconcile relationships and her view of life. Well done, if quiet.

[Bibliomama · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little bit self-indulgent at times, but still an interesting insight into facing death and letting go, especially with the perspective of 35 years.

[Sharon MacLeod · Rating 5 out of 5]

have read twice ... excellent

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A touching brilliantly written story of Laura who is dying of lung cancer. She chooses to die on her own terms and in the process discovers the importance of female relationships.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous, languid writing about one woman's journey through the last month of her life.

[Lora · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a beautiful story about a woman's reckoning in the last few months of her life.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's strange to dive into a book to find, right off the bat, the main character excited about her impending death. Laura Spelman is walking through Boston feeling a strange exhilaration over a diagnosis from her doctor that she has inoperable lung cancer: "The overwhelming one was a strange excitement, as though she were more than usually alive, awake, and in command: I am to have my own death. I can play it my own way. He said two years, but they always give you an outside figure, and my guess is at most a year. A year, one more spring, one more summer.... I've got to do it well. I've got to think."

Laura has many unresolved and tumultuous relationships, especially with her larger-than-life, once-glamorous mother who is in a nursing home with dementia. Laura's high-spirited daughter Daisy has always been at odds with her. Her eldest son Ben, who is gay, is the one to whom she feels the most affinity. Her sister Daphne was beautiful once but lacks self-confidence, and her sister Jo, a thwarted lesbian, has become a workaholic, almost robotic in Laura's eyes.

Laura wants to live her final days making real connections with the people she cares most about. Her family mostly exhausts her. She seems to find the most peace with the caregiver she hires, Mary O'Brien, a quiet and steady presence, Dr. Goodwin, and her Aunt Minna, who comes to read to her every afternoon.

But the person she dreams of reconnecting with is Ella, a British girl who she went to school with. Laura feels this was the only real relationship she's ever had, although they were never lovers. Ella ended up marrying, and then Laura followed suit, marrying Charles, who predeceased her.

I never thought a novel about someone's death could be so engrossing. Laura has these wonderful plans about how she will spend her last days, but her body is declining and she hasn't factored in how much it will limit her. She revels in her simple life, marveling over flowers, trees, the changing seasons, the sounds of birds, classical music and poetry, her dog and cat, Grindle and Sasha. She is a book editor, and plans to keep working but she finds herself too quickly exhausted and has to quit. She wants to hang on because of an author, Harriet, she's taken on. Harriet writes about her homosexual awakenings but is conflicted because if she publishes, she will lose her lover. This conflict and Harriet's angst awakens memories of Laura's deep love and friendship for Ella.

What a beautifully written novel. Its thought-provoking exploration of what it means to live and to die is a great read for people approaching the end of their lives.

I love this quote: "Life had lately sometimes felt interminable, an interminable struggle -- the excitement, even relief, she had experienced when Dr. Goodwin told her the truth of her condition stemmed perhaps from the fact that setting a limit gave her a sudden sense of freedom. She did not have to try so hard any longer."

[Rosie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A somewhat disappointing novel. The word I would use to describe it is "overambitious". Sarton clearly wanted to tackle a lot of heavy, philosophical topics, but the result was not profound or subtle but soppy and amateurish. There were several threads that I thought would be explored but were not. The threads that were explored were not explored in very much depth. There was lots of pondering, but few conclusions. The pacing was rather bad, and Ella's arrival at the last minute as Laura lay dying was cliche, though, I admit, somewhat satisfying, but in a bit of an aggravating way. Laura's mother was described using many overdramatic similes and metaphors, to the point she felt like a plot device, not a person. The dialogue felt melodramatic and unrealistic, much of the time. Overall, again, this was simply an unsatisfactory read. And it had so much potential, too, with its exploration of the many kinds of complicated love between women, as the protagonist lay dying! (This was one thread that was hardly explored, even though it was meant to be the main plot. No conclusions were made about lesbian love; it felt like the author was attempting to grasp clouds.) One other annoyance: The use of the default "he" to refer to unspecified persons. This was published in the mid-to-late 70s - surely, Sarton could have done better! The women's liberation movement had already kicked off by then, and they had already written about how the default "he" erases women. I found it obnoxious, especially as it showed up so often!