My Princess Boy

by Cheryl Kilodavis

My Princess Boy is a nonfiction picture book about acceptance. With words and illustrations even the youngest of children can understand, My Princess Boy tells the tale of 4-year-old boy who happily expresses his authentic self by happily dressing up in dresses, and enjoying traditional girl things such as jewelry and anything pink or sparkly. The book is from a mom's point of view, sharing both good and bad observations and experiences with friends and family, at school and in shopping stores.

My Princess Boy opens a dialogue about embracing uniqueness, and teaches you and others how to accept young boys who might cross traditional gender line clothing expectations. The book ends with the understanding that 'my' Princess Boy is really 'our' Princess Boy, and as a community, we can accept and support youth for whoever they are and however they wish to look.

Genres: Picture Books, LGBT, Childrens, Gender, Banned Books, Nonfiction, Family

32 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Calista · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love books about this subject. I don't think the art is great, but I think I understand. The mother who wrote this book wanted any parent dealing with this to be able to see their child as the child in the story I think. Still, it might have been more effective to put a face on the character as it helps the reader relate to them.

Still, I love the message of support and love for a child who is a bit different. It's a message of acceptance and against bullying and in today's world, that is an important topic. I think the world is so much brighter and more exciting when we let people be who they were made to me. Girls who wear wrestle-mania gear and boys who wear princess outfits. I think it makes the world glow a little more and reminds us that it's not as simple as we have made it out to be.

The kids enjoyed this one. My niece told me that pink used to be her favorite color too and now it is teal.

[Scottsdale Public Library]

#BannedBooksWeek

This gentle tale of acceptance is based on the author's own young son who chose to wear a dress to school. We meet a little boy who loves to dress up in pretty things, wear a tiara crown and dance with his friends in a green leotard. The narrator relates times when the boy was shopping for a sparkly dress or wore a princess costume at Halloween, only to be stared at or even laughed at and how Princess Boy reacted to the derision. This charming book asks readers how we would react to seeing a boy in pink and whether we would accept him. The book, along with another title, was the focus of a move to ban it at a Granbury, Texas public library in 2015, with challengers stating that it endorsed a gay lifestyle and encouraged perversion. -Louisa A.

Banned & Challenged Books | Advocacy, Legislation & Issues

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very well-intentioned picture book about accepting gender difference in children.

The Princess Boy at the heart of the story is a little boy who likes to play dress up, wear a tiara, and twirl like a ballerina. The best thing about this book is how it treats this as a matter of fact part of life, and the way the other characters accept the Princess Boy on his own terms. Maybe that is more than enough to reasonably ask a picture to accomplish on behalf of tolerance in the world, but I still found myself wishing for more.

The illustrations, while bright and colorful, are all faceless. Which means that if you were a kid just looking at the pictures, you would not have any context for seeing that the book is about a boy who likes to dress as a princess - it would look just like a story about a princess girl. Now, maybe the faceless illustrations are some fancy post-modern statement about gender being a social construct - I don't know - but I feel like they fail to convey the uniqueness of this story.

[Melody · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because I was reminded of my own son's predilection for sparkly nail polish and glittery garments at around age 2 or 3.

This is a sweet book, but somewhat heavy-handed. It would have been so much better with illustrations of people with faces. It was hard to visualize the princess boy as a boy when he was presented as a faceless person dressed in what I reflexively think of as "girl" clothes- and while I'm sufficiently aware of certain of my prejudices to recognize this, I wonder if the target audience is going to be that self-analytical.

It's certainly a subject we need to discuss more, and I think this is a lovely opening salvo, but I look forward to more picture books with better illustrations.

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book - it's a love letter from Mother to Son celebrating individuality and strength of spirit and sympathizing with the heartbreak of ridicule and label of "different." I found it at the library and it really touched me. I started putting it face-out on the bookshelves and was impressed to see it disappear more than a couple times.

We had a family come in, and the little boy wanted princess stories - he loved princess stories and Dora and Angelina Ballerina. I so loved that his Mother accommodated his interest instead of trying to talk him out of it or point him towards more "boyish" things to get. His brother did the same. Bless them for accepting their child as he is, instead of trying to shape him into something he's not.

[Jennifer McCallum · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is well-intentioned but I feel like it misses the mark.
By having faceless characters, you feel removed from the little boy and his story. I feel it is also a bit heavy-handed for children, not really following a story. The relationship between the Princess Boy and his older brother could be turned into a lovely story that makes children think just as much, if not more.
However, it does carry an important message that is important to emulate within the classroom, I would just use a different book to demonstrate it.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is useful as it attempts to explain gender identity issues to children and encourages them to be respectful to others. It forces children to think about their actions and consider the feelings of others.

I found this book really lacked subtlety though. It focuses very heavily on the topic which detracts from the plot itself as not much really happens.

The text deals with a very sensitive issue which is really good to see and it is important to have similar texts in the classroom. However, I feel it could have been handled with a little more delicacy.

[Makayla Zimmerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading My Princess Boy because I thought it had a good messaging of being inclusive and accepting all peoples identities. I think this book would be good to read to younger students because it would help everybody feel inclusive. I enjoyed the difference of the two sons where one was masculine and one was more feminine but they both were accepted and loved by their families. I understand this book was controversial because some believe that it is promoting a transgender lifestyle. However, I don't think this should be considered a banned book because it's teaching kids how to be accepting of everybody's different personalities and opinions.
Some things that I didn't like was this book was really repetitive. After saying my princess boy on the first page I feel like the other could have come up with a different way to start the page. I also didn't really enjoy the art on the book. The characters didn't have any face and while I knew this was to demonstrate that anybody could be this family or this princess boy I still found it a bit creepy.
The questions that I would ask would be how to implement this book within my classroom. I am curious to know if you would have to have the school's approval for such a controversial book. I feel like a teacher could just notify the parents that this book would be in your classroom and if a parent has an issue with it then they can contact the teacher and the book will be removed.

[Mathew · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terribly illustrated and its standard of writing was just as bad. There are a few, better books out there that explore the issue of boys who want to dress up as girls or are confused about their gender identity. We do need more books like this out there and I would be concerned if people didn't want to see them in classrooms. Books like these can support focused discussion and, more importantly, allow those who feel the same way to see that they are not alone. I'd argue that even though this book comes from first person evidence, Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress cover the subject better (for me).

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't think this actually accomplishes what it attempts to. When the illustrations are completely amorphous I think that's sending the opposite message as it intended to. My princess boy (who has no name) is basically a lollipop stick figure in a pink dress. The book ends by asking if you'd make fun of him, if you'd be his friend, etc. I don't think we're the target audience as my kids were just confused by these questions.

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know if there's a way to write this kind of book without being heavy-handed or didactic but I kind of hope there is, and that someone else will give it a shot.

[Lauren Drake · Rating 1 out of 5]

Despite the intention of the book being great and very much needed in society, i feel that this book missed the mark. I think that there are other books that have the same intentions and have put the message across more effectively. The book does not challenge stereotypes and i think it would be much better if it had.
The story felt very dragged out and quite repetitive so i found myself losing interest - i believe this would also be the case for children.
I also found the illustrations confusing and they left me with so many questions - the main one being why don't the characters have faces? Without faces, i felt like i couldn't connect with the character and his story.

[Catarina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a great opportunity to show boys being pretty. The artwork fell flat, but the story was fine. I loved reading this to my son, especially since I don’t know how he’ll turn out to be. Feel like this is more for parents than children.

[Jessica Calaway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Palm Beach County School District Banned Books List 8/2022

3 - 4 years, from customers

[Brittany Chlarson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book grabbed my attention because of the title and the faceless illustration on the cover. I enjoyed this book, but it definitely was not one I would deem a favorite. I liked that this book was emphasizing the importance of individuality: the little boy was encouraged by his mother to be who he wanted to be even if that meant wearing dresses and dancing like a ballerina. I liked how the author included an older brother who had all the "traditional" masculine qualities, but the parents never tried to push the princess boy into becoming that and loved him for him. I think the acceptance and the love for their son's differences would encourage students to not judge others just because they are different. I loved that the boy was a person of color because they are super underrepresented in children's literature. I enjoyed the questions that the book asks in the end because it would give teachers an opportunity to talk with their students and give students a safe space to say how they feel.
There were only a couple things I did not like in this story. I did not like that the characters were faceless because it took away their emotions and it was hard to tell that the princess boy was actually a boy. I think students would have a harder time accepting and understanding that he was a boy if they could not see that his face was that of a boy's. I also did not like the repetition within the story, "My princess boy..." was the start to almost every sentence. Children need exciting and different words, so I fear the repetition would bore them. Overall, the good outweighed the bad!
This book was banned in Texas because of the idea of transgenderism and they thought the story encouraged a "gay lifestyle." While I understand the idea of gender bending is still relatively new, people need to understand that times are changing and these types of behaviors/ideals are becoming more common in our society. I don't think this book encouraged students to "become gay," I think it encouraged students to accept people as they are and that it is okay to like things that might be considered as belonging to the other gender (i.e. a boy liking pink.) I would use this in my classroom if I knew one of my students was struggling with their sexuality/gender or if one of my students was a little "different" than most of the other students. I would let parents know that it was being read and I would give them the option to opt their student out. I enjoyed this book, and I think others could too if they would look past their own prejudices.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

The State of the Union, 2015: Girls can wear pants, but boys still can't wear dresses. When are we going to get over it, people?

I'm giving this 5 stars out of the gate because it is a travesty that there aren't other books like this. (Is this the only one?) Our household library has collected over a 1,000 children's books since my 6-year-old was born and not one of those books has a boy in a dress as normal (except this one), or two dads (although we do own And Tango Makes Three), or two moms, and yet there are families like those examples in our community. They are there, they are just not visible because they are not in our books, or in our class presentations, or in our conversations. Books like this are critical if we are to have any chance of achieving visibility and acceptance.

That said, this is a tricky book to find its audience. If you don't know any boys that like to wear dresses outside of limited dress-up times, you might not think it is a relevant issue. (Although it is. I've seen what happens when kids see a boy in a dress in a liberal community - they freak! The beliefs are always there, even if they have no target to act on.) And although the book is about a 4-year-old, it is hard to just read it as a story, because it asks some challenging questions for its audience at the end. It seems like it needs a teacher facilitation or at least some planning ahead and not just something you might slip into the bedtime pile with your Dr. Seuss books.

And, yes, the faceless thing in the illustrations is a little odd. I think the author/illustrator team was going for a kind of faceless "this could be any child" effect, but the kids I showed it to right away thought that was the funniest thing, and kept commenting on it, and didn't even notice the dress at first. But I think the topic is so attention-getting, that they quickly forget about it, and then it has served its purpose: they can't recall exactly who the boy is, they just know he likes to wear dresses. They could actually meet someone like that.

Ultimately, it is beautifully written and inked, and tells a well-rounded story with lots of specific examples that will please the "show, not tell" readership. The ultimate message is about love and acceptance and is very uplifting.

[Bibiana Jurado · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mother tells a true story about her son who loves wearing dresses- her "Princess Boy". She talks about her family's unwavering love for him and that he has friends of all genders. However, some people are still hesitant to accept a little boy in a dress; the overall message of the book is the importance of acceptance for others and that it's okay to be yourself.

This biography of Cheryl Kilodavis' son successfully balances acceptance of her son's preferences with those who aren't so accepting; it makes the story realistic and can help children through instances where they aren't accepted for who they are. The topic of gender roles is apparent because of the fact that some people find it bizarre that a young boy dresses 'like a girl' (i.e. the lady who laughed at his princess outfit). Despite informing the reader of her son's life, she also places an emphasis on being supportive and kind to your peers. This book didn't have a focus on diversity, but the characters were of different shades, so I assume that the author wanted to make the book diverse. Although everything was drawn in a unique fashion, none of the characters had any faces. I'm not sure that if this had a symbolic meaning, but I feel as though children reading this would initially be distracted by this. It's ultimately pretty engaging despite having a solid plot. There isn't a clear problem and solution, but it does mention that some people aren't so accepting of her son, but their family as well as others love and accept him anyway. The book has great intentions and is very suitable for children from preschool to fifth grade as well as older readers.

[Mehsi · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is Banned Books Week, and I am reading Challenged/Banned books. This is the first book for this week.

This book was challenged in Texas quite a lot of times due to it promoting the gay lifestyle (one of the reasons at least).

I have to say that the book was pretty great, but I was a bit tired of the repetition. My princess boy this, my princess boy that. I get it. He is a princess boy, and that is terrific, but does it need to be repeated over and over again for each part? Couldn't we have another word or another beginning instead?

The story was good, it tells us about the princess boy, how he loves to wear tiaras, dresses, and twirl, and it talks about how the boy is accepted by his family, which is wonderful. I have read enough stories about boys who like to dress up as a princess or just like to wear girls clothes, but weren't accepted by their family.
Though of course while his family is accepting... the world isn't always so accepting. :( Which I was expecting (welcome to the world), but it still made me sad.

The art was so-so. I mostly didn't like the fact the characters were all faceless. Couldn't some emotions have been added? It would have made the book at more personal, now it just fell flat. We read that they are happy, or sad, but there is just nothing to show that.

So all in all, I am happy I read this book, but I had expected a bit more. Still I would recommend it.

Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/

[Valerie Lurquin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a simple story about a four year old boy named Dyson, who happens o be the authors son. He loves to dress up and dance around in sparkly pink clothing. This books shows the love and support of a family who loves him and shows him that it is ok to be himself; however, it also shows students how hurtful comments and negative actions may be to someone and their family. The author did a great job of bringing light to a sensitive subject!

The message of this story is extremely meaningful: Be okay with who you are, even if others are not. Some people may make mean comments, but you should just keep going and keep a smile on your face. I love sending this message to the little boys in today's society, who feel a lot of pressure sometimes to be something they aren't. The language used throughout the story is simple, yet very effective for a small child. The only change I would make is for the characters in the story to have faces. The author should have given the characters an identity to show children you do not have to hide. This story is meant for children ages 3-6. It could be used in preschools to show students they are not alone if there is no one else like them and that there are many people in their world who love them very much. This could spark a discussion between children about who loves them, also showing them how different families can be.

[Twocuphabit · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author leads us on a fanciful walk through several aspects of her princess boy's life. He likes things traditionally regarded as being feminine: dresses, the color pink, and dressing up as a princess. While his family is supportive of him, the book details how others have been intolerant. The book ends with a challenge to the reader, of the "what would you do" type.

The tension in this book, will slightly explicit, is more between the reader and the topic than within the storyline. For readers, being confronted with a boy who wants to be or act like a girl can be uncomfortable. If an adult is reading it to a child, the child may ask questions that the adult is not ready or prepared to answer. My experience with this book was that I bought it to explicitly to deal with the topic. My daughters still asked questions, but we worked through them together. The books calm discussion of the topic makes the tension work well.

I would invite writers to confront difficult topics to create internal tension within the reader. The reader can put on the mantle of the character and try out something new.

[Erin Reilly-Sanders · Rating 3 out of 5]

After taking an intensive week-long class on gender, I really found the message of the text of this book to be interesting and importantly meaningful, permitting boys to explore crossing gender role boundaries that do not particularly benefit society. The male gender pronouns mixed with female actions provoke reconsideration of the strict lines between genders. However, upon closer inspective, the illustrations seemed to provide a different view of gender. The faceless figure portrayed stays completely within a female gender role, wearing female clothes, and sweeping around the page in dancing poses. Overall, the book came out okay but is mostly interesting for the subject matter rather than the quality of the book itself.

[Sophia Martin · Rating 1 out of 5]

This non-fiction children's book is about a young boy who likes to dress in dresses and likes "girly" things. Cheryl Kilodavis, the author, writes this story based on first hand knowledge. She wrote the story about her young son. She chose to write this book to increase awareness and promote acceptance of young princess boys everywhere. Suzanne DeSimone's pictures are simple and go great with the text. It is good that she did not put an actual face to the Princess Boy; it shows that he can represent boys everywhere.

This book, however, can be seen as controversial among some parents, teachers or children. It is a hard subject to swallow. Most parents would not allow their son to be a Princess Boy. I do not feel like using this book as a teacher would be acceptable.

[Kaley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly liked this book from start to finish! I liked how they made the princess boy someone of color, because they're very underrepresented in children's book. One of my favorite things was that at the end the book had questions like, "if you see a princess boy will you laugh at him? Will you play with him?" so it can start a conversation with your students. I liked this because it gives you a chance to talk about this important topic with your students to see what reactions they have from the book. It also leaves you to have an open discussion, and everyone is allowed to share their opinions in a safe environment, and may even lead for someone to be more comfortable with wearing whatever they want.

[Emilie Rhoton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book although short it contains a powerful message which makes this book banned in certain places. While in today's world people are trying to break gender roles, but to some they still enjoy gender roles. It's hard to believe that such a short book can cause so many issues to arise that it has to be banned for some schools. This book is is about a boy who wants to dress up as anything including a princess, which is why this book is seen as such a controversial book.

Students now a days want to feel safe in their environment and accepted, however when schools don't allow books like this one they aren't really supporting each one of their students. I was shocked to learn so many places banned this book.

[Maria A · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book, It is voiced by the child's mother. She explains all the things that her little boys enjoys. We have these social norms in place that dictate what interest young children should have, and I don't agree with these social constructs. as a society, we are quick to embrace a girl who falls into this "tomboy" category.
We happily label ourselves that growing up yet our boys who were brave enough to break these absurd social norms don't have the same freedom or safety. I love this book because it introduces this space. Our boys should be able to express themselves in whichever way they chose. I love the end of this story were the mother mentions that" My Princess Boy " is "Our Princess Boy".

[Sam Bloom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boy, I really wanted to like this book, and I will say that I found Kilodavis's text to be uniformly excellent. Sadly, I can't say the same for the illustrations. I can certainly understand why DeSimone would choose to make her characters faceless, as this book really deals with seeing beyond what's on the surface and accepting people for who they are. But the featureless face coupled with the strangely shaped head and claw-like hands makes the illustrations actually creepy, and I expect they'll keep many kids at arm's length instead of inviting them in to the story.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Princess Boy is a picture book with a compassionate message. It is the story of a nameless, faceless boy who likes wearing dresses and all things princess. His mother tells us that people have both made fun of him and accepted him as the person he is. She then asks the audience to consider how they would interact with a Princess Boy, and asks us to consider her Princess Boy as our own Princess Boy. This is an emotionally onerous picture book, but perfect for sparking discussions about gender norms, compassion, and diversity.

[Jennifer Pym · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a few issues with this book. The faceless characters are creepy, the art isn't very inviting and its really more about cross dressing than true gender identity.

Not that there isn't a need for books that challenge traditional gender roles, but what does this book add? Ferdinand, Goblinheart, The Paperbag Princess, and Oliver Button is a Sissy are great for that and then some.

Still, there are so few books that counter the negative messages about gender roles and it does do that.

[Earl · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet story of a family who’s accepting of their Princess Boy. A much needed read for those who don’t conform to society’s ideas of what’s normal. How I wish that we’re at a time that people are truly accepting of one another despite our differences. Until then, and this book does mention that not everyone is as understanding, hopefully this book will be a serve as a message of “I see you. I love you for who you are.” Based on the author's experiences.

[Miss Ryoko · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know if this was cleverly planned by Suzanne DeSimone or not but I really liked that the characters were faceless. I felt like it made it so the reader could imagine anyone as these characters. It also felt like these people could be anyone - someone you know or someone you don't know and can you imagine them in these scenarios.

Well done.