كيف تتمتع بالثقة والقوة في التعامل مع الناس

by Les Giblin

يعلمك هذا الكتاب، كيف تكسب الطبيعة البشرية في صفك وكيف تتحكم في تصرفاتك ومواقف الآخرين . ويزودك بأساليب لكسب الأصدقاء والاحتفاظ بهم وأساليب مؤثرة للتحدث ويشرح مدى فائدتها لك . ويوضح لك كيف تدير الناس بنجاح مع تمرينات في مجال العلاقات الإنسانية.

Genres: Self Help, Business, Nonfiction, Psychology, Communication, Personal Development, Leadership

250 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1956

About the author

One of the pioneers of the personal development industry, Les Giblin was born in 1912 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. After serving in the military, Giblin began a sales job with the Sheaffer Pen Company in 1946. His successful career in door-to-door sales allowed him to become an ardent observer of human nature and eventually earned him two titles as national Salesman of the Year.
Talking lessons from his sales career, Giblin penned his classic Skill With People in 1968 and began conducting thousands of seminars for companies and associations including Mobil, General Electric, Johnson & Johnson, Caterpillar, etc.

Transcending generations, Les Giblin’s timeless message of making skill with people the essential ability in your life takes on new meaning in today’s world of impersonal communication.

Make the most of your personal connections as taught by the master of people and sales skills.

Reviews

[Liong · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must-read self-help classic book like "Think and Grow Rich" and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" fall into this category.

I learned many useful techniques for dealing with people from this book.

Highly recommended if you want to improve your relationships with others.

[Shawn · Rating 1 out of 5]

"The man or woman who realizes that he is "something" not because of what he has done or how good he has been, but by the grace of God in endowing him with a certain innate worth, develops a healthy self-esteem." -Les Giblin, p. 13. I stopped reading there.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book several times over the years. Along with Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" this book is a must-read for anyone that wants to be able to communicate with other people in any meaningful way. I would especially recommend for those of you who tend to be introverted (like myself).

[لطيفة القارئة]

نصحيتي لك
هي اقرأ الكتاب بتركيز واهتمام..
مع أنه أصلاً يجبرك رغماً عنك على القراءة بتريث ..
كتاب أضافني الكثير صراحة..
واكتشفت لاحقاً أثناء قراءة هذه الليلة
كتاب ابراهيم الفقي رحمه الله
قوة التحكم في الذات،تشابه المحتوى بشكل واضح.
حياة كريمة

[Jason Riemens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on audiobook and it is only about three hours, but the program is packed with useful and applicable information. You can start using what it talks about from only listening to the first few minutes. This book is about human relations and every suggestion, technique, and principle discussed was right on. Admittedly, much of it seems like common sense after hearing it or I have read it before (How to Win Friends and Influence People), but most of us need to hear or read something a minimum of 6 times before it starts to become a daily practice, so I enjoyed the unique spin the book had.

And one thing I can positively state, is that 99.9% of the people I interact with don't use the techniques discussed in this book, but if they did - they would have much more influence on me and I would like them much more. Therein lies the reasoning for every person - everywhere - to read this book. Recommended by Jason Riemens.

[Vinu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I talked myself out of a speeding ticket after reading this book. 5 stars in my opinion.

[E · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sage advice for getting along with people

The world has changed so dramatically over the past half-century that many advice books from so long ago are no longer relevant, but Les Giblin’s relationship-oriented work seems likely to endure forever. The ideals he espoused in 1956 still represent the bedrock fundamentals for getting the most depth and satisfaction from your interpersonal connections. You’ll be impressed with Giblin’s grasp of human nature. What’s more, his advice is applicable in all areas of life. He is refreshingly upbeat and unfailingly positive. He clearly believes in humanity’s inherent goodness. getAbstract recommends his warm, sage counsel.

[imane · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب رائع رائع رائع ...انت المسؤول الوحيد عن الطريقة التي يتعامل بها معك الاخرون انت من تهيؤ خشبة المسرح التي سيلعبون عليها ادوارهم. الكتاب سيعرفك على الطبيعة الانسانية فالخجول مثلا يحاول مسايرة الاخرين وهو بذلك يقوم يايذاء نفسه وفي المقابل المغرور يحاول فرض نفسه عليهم وكلاهما يفتقدان الى الثقة بالنفس الاول ينسحب والثاني يحاول تعزيز ثقته عبر نفش ريشه وادعاء ما ليس فيه. بعد قراءة الكتاب انتبهت لامور لم الاحظها من قبل مثلا في بعض الاحيان اقلل من شائني مراعاة لمشاعر الاخرين وفي المقابل اعامل من طرفهم على اني قليلة شان من المخطئ انا فهم يفعلون ذلك بدون وعي. بعد قراءتك للكتاب قد تتفق مع الكاتب وتجد ان كل الاشخاص الذين تحبهم هم اؤلئك الذين ينصتون يستمعون لك قد تشعر ان الحديث كان جد ممتع مع الاخر وانه شخص جد ذكي وفي الواقع هو لم يتفوه بكلمة هو فقط انصت لك. ستجد نفسك تحب كل شخص يتقبلك كما انت ولا يحاول تغييرك كل شخص يعبر لك عن تقديره وفي المقابل ستجد انك تنفر من كل شخص يكثر من المجاملات الزائفة من كل شخص لحوح في طلب الصداقة لانه يجعلك تتساءل لماذا يريد الاقتراب لماذا هو خائف من خسراتي ستجد انك تكره كل شخص يقدم النصائح والانتقادات امام الاخرين بدون تقديم البديل والحل ليس لانه يحبك فقط لكي يعزز ذاته بتحطيم ذاتك وتعرية ظهرك ستجد نفسك تكره كل متشائم يحمل هالته السوداء السلبية معه اينما حل وارتحل لكي يمتص سعادة الاخرين ويطلب المساعدة ليس من اجل ايجاد الحل لكن لاثارة شفقة الاخرين هو لا يريد حلا لمشكلته هو يريد ان تربت على ظهره ثم يعود لك في كل مرة بنفس المشكلة. بالنسبة للذين يكثرون من الشكوى الكاتب ينصحهم بكتابة رسالة الى انفسهم في كل يوم هكذا سيتخلصون من تلك الانفعالات السلبية وسيجدون انفسهم غير محتاجين لشخص يستمع لهم يمكنهم ايضا الالتجاء الى صديق مقرب يفهمهم او الالتجاء الى طبيب نفساني. اذا اردت ان تكون ناجحا في علاقاتك مع الاخرين عوض كلمة "انا " ب "انت" مثلا في شركة عوض ان تفرض قرارك على العمال "انا اقرر....." حاول ان تمنح لهم فرصة التعبير عن افكارهم وهم سيتوصلون الى نفس القرار الذي كنت ستتخذه لكنهم سيكونون اكثر تعاوننا. كلنا انانيون وكل شخص يفكر في نفسه فقط فمثلا اذا خرج طفل وامراة الى متجر الطفل سيرى الالعاب فقط والمراة سترى الملابس. كل انسان هو مهم ويستحق الاحترام لا تتعامل معه على انه شيء وهو سيحبك ان القدرة على اسعاد الاخرين هي معجزة في حد ذاتها امتلاك طاقة خارقة وقد لا تتطلب مجهودا كبيرا كل ما عليك فعله هو ان تفهم الطبيعة البشرية كما هي لا ان تنتظر منها ان تكون كما تريد انت. هناك نقاط اخرى ذكرها الكاتب لكن نسيتها احتاج الى قراءة ثانية وبالطبع القراءة بدون تطبيق وممارسة لا تنفع في شيء وبالنسبة لي اهم نصيحة هي الحب والصدق كن مزيفا وطبق كل الخدع والحيل التي تخطر ببالك والمذكورة في كل الكتب الموجودة على الارض وسيكرهونك. والوحيد القادر على حب الاخرين كما هم هو ذلك الذي يحب نفسه يثق في نفسه ويقدرها كما هي ففاقد الشيء لا يعطيه.

[Vanga Srikanth · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People Review by Vanga Srikanth..


About the Author
One of the pioneers of the personal development industry, Les Giblin was born in 1912 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. After serving in the military, Giblin began a sales job with the Sheaffer Pen Company in 1946. His successful career in door-to-door sales allowed him to become an ardent observer of human nature and eventually earned him two titles as national Salesman of the Year. Talking lessons from his sales career, Giblin penned his classic Skill With People in 1968 and began conducting thousands of seminars for companies and associations including Mobil, General Electric, Johnson & Johnson, Caterpillar, etc.

Transcending generations, Les Giblin's timeless message of making skill with people the essential ability in your life takes on new meaning in today's world of impersonal communication.

Make the most of your personal connections as taught by the master of people and sales skills.


How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People Review by Vanga Srikanth:

Great book!

I am a shy person naturally, so this book really helped me. It is a timeless classic that helps you relate to other people in a variety of settings and cultivate friendships. It also talks about how to influence people, which is good if you are in sales or simply trying to get your way with something important to you.

If you have trouble handling people, this is the book for you. Sure, it was written in the 1950s, but it does NOT need to be updated. Everything the author says is true; and he explains it all in an easy, understandable, and thoughtful way. One of my favorite parts is when Les Giblin tells a story about one of his friends who walked up to total strangers and chatted with them as if they were old friends. ("No one ever called him fresh or rude.") Giblin asked his friend what his secret was. His friend's secret is revealed; Buy this book, b/c it's worth it!

Chapters:

Ch1. Your key to success and happiness

Ch2. How to use the basic secret for inluencing others

Ch3. How to cash in on your hidden assets

Ch4. How to control the actions and attitudes of others

Ch5. How you can create a good impression on others

Ch6. How to use three big secrets for attracting people

Ch7. How to make the other person feel friendly

Ch8. How you can develop skill in using words

Ch9. How to use the technique that a supreme court justice called "White Magic"

Ch10. How to get others to see things your way quickly

Ch11. How to get 100% cooperation and increae your brain power

Ch12. How to use your miracle power in human relations

Ch13. How to criticize others without offending them

Ch14. A simple, effective plan of action that will bring you success and happiness

Certainly the chapters above seem common in many interpersonal relationship books. However, I am obliged to praise the author for his outstanding writing skill, clever use of short stories to elaborate the rationale behind his many useful tactics, and those helpful summaries in the end of each chapter. Even if you are a frequent self help book reader, it will still satisfy you well with the no nonsense points. In short, highly recommended!

p.s. Below please some of my favorite passages for your reference.

J.C. Staehle, after analyzing many surveye, found that the prinicpal causes of unrest among workers were the following, listed in the order of their importance:-

1. Failure to give credit for suggestions

2. Failure to correct grievances

3. Failure to encourage

4. Criticizing employees in front of other people

5. Failure to ask employees of their opinion

6. Failure to inform employees of their progress

7. Favoritism pg 24

Remember, human beings are innately selfish beings. They are first, last and always interested in themselves, in their job, their family, their home town, their ideas. Even a question like, "Where are you from?" shos that you are interested in the other person, and consequently gets him interested in you. pg 89

Use "Happy Talk" as much as possible. Nobody likes a Gloomy Gus. Nobody likes to sit and listen to a prophet of doom. People dont like to hear bad news. pg 91

When a would be policitician asked Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes for advice on how to get elected to office, Justice Holmes wrote him: To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people and tying up their friendship for good. Too few people practice the "white magic" of being good listeners. pg 94

Most of us want the other fellow to think we are clever, intelligent, "smart". But the person who goes around always making "smart remarks", always knocking himself out to be "clever," is not voted in by the other fellow as a "clever person". Instead he gets elected to the classification of "smart-aleck," "blow-hard", or "egotist." pg 95

These three Yale psychologists found the best way to get ideas accepted is to use a low-pressure technique, one of calmly presenting facts, and leaving out threats or attempts at using force. pg 106

Two rules for administering praise. 1. It must be sincere. 2. Praise the act or the attribute, rather than the person. pg 135

Knowledge + Application = Success pg 147

Regards
Vanga.Srikanth

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I saw the book was first written in 1956, I wasn't sure if it would be relevant in today's society. I was pleasantly surprised, the format of the book was easy to understand and follow.

A few quotes from the book:

"A starved ego is a mean ego"

LS/MFT = Low esteem means friction and trouble

Satisfy another person's ego for self-esteem and he will automatically become more friendly and likeable

[Simon Gianoutsos · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had been sitting on my bookshelf for years and I was expecting it to be an over the top sales book so had put off reading it, but I was so wrong and now wish I had read it years ago. This is a superb book that has lots of great advice, good examples and is well written. I also really appreciate the short recap that each section has at the end summarising the key points.

[Krista Streuly · Rating 5 out of 5]

No matter how great or horrible you are in dealing with people, this book has great insight into how the other person is wired and how you can help in growing teams of people, resolving conflict and become an expert in working with people!

[Romoab · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read the book “ How to have confidence and Power when dealing with people”. Les Giblin wrote the book, the genre of the book would be an informational type of book. Its a non fiction leadership book so what the book talks about you can apply it to everyday situations. More than five years ago,Les Giblin first described how mastering the basic principles of human behavior could ensure success for business people, and just about anyone else. Today hundreds of thousands of readers can attest, his advice as relevant as ever.

“How to have confidence and power in dealing with people” is a truly practical way to gain self confidence power in your personal, business, and social relationships from little tricks of body language that we rarely notice in ourselves but yet notice almost always in others, but its to develop self belief. How to have confidence and power in dealing with people helps you get what you really, with integrity and ease. Lers Giblins tested techniques and common sense pointers will teach you how to: use basic secret of human nature to influence people, Control others” attitudes and expectation through your own behavior, Discover the three big secrets for attracting people, Get people to see things your way quickly, and ensure 100 percent cooperation when managing others. Make the most of your personal, social, business potential with the nature power you already possess.

This is a truly good book if you are wanting to know how to better empower yourself with more of these great key functions of how to be more confident with people. So this book will be most beneficial for people who are wanting to know how to talk to people better, become a better leader, or just to overcome some shyness. This book would be best for ages 16 to death really because you are never to old to better empower yourself with this.

[Alaa Khoj · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب رائع جداً جداً جداً
تعلمت منه العديد من الأمور في العلاقات الانسانية
استفدت منه كثيرا ، كونه متصل بمجال دراستي ايضا
ويمكن تطبيق ماجاء فيه بسهولة جدا
اسلوب الكاتب جميل وممتع
ويسرد النصائح والقصص بشكل جذاب
انصح الجميع بقرائته :)

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me tremendously at a point in my life when I lacked confidence in social/work situations. It's an oldie but a goodie.

[Mihaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Along with Dale Carnegie's book " How to win friends and influence people" (1936 ) , Les Giblin's book written 20 years later, remain nowdays still best among books ever written on communication skills.

[Qassem Ahmad · Rating 4 out of 5]

بسم الله
تمتع بالحماس في نفسك أولا قبل أن تطلبه من الآخرين
انت تصنع المسرح والأدوار بمواقف الأولية فعليك ان تحسن توظيف ذلك لمصالحك
عليك أن تؤمن بنفسك وان تسلك هذا السلوك الواثق من نفسه والمتمكن من أطراف الحديث
اصنع عالما إيجابيات مفعما بكلمة نعم حتى تحصل عليها فهذا يزيد من إقناعك للآخرين والسيطرة على فعالهم لا تنس أن تكون هذه"ال نعم" ليست سلبية او خانقة..
توقع منهم ان يقوموا بأداء ماتريد توقع منهم حبهم لذلك فهذا سيساعدك جدا، لأن الإنسان عموما يحب أن يختار وأن يشعر بحريته
لا تنتقد أحدا فأنت بذلك تكشف عن شيئ فيك
لا تبتذل ولا تهن أشياء كنت تعمل فيها او لديها فهذا دليل على فعلك في المستقبل مع هذا العمل الجديد او الشخص الجديد
الناس لا تحب سماع السلبية وتحب الإنتعاش، الناس تكره الفرض وتحب الطلب..

[Nada Quorain · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكتاب يستحق القراءة أكثر من مرة، هو لا يتحدث فعلاً عن كيفية التعامل بثقه وقوة بقدر تركيزه على أخطائنا التي نرتكبها بحق الآخرين في معاملاتنا وأحاديثنا اليومية من غير أن نشعر

[Kyle Weil · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book did have some good advice/insight on the human condition and motivation; however, it was a total drudge getting through it. I had to read other books in-between starting this one because I was so bored. Additionally, there were a lot of religious references used as explanations for human nature which were not grounded in empirical findings. Of the studies that were mentioned, I could not find the existence or results of a number of them when looking online and within database. This leads me to conclude a lot of the information included is dubious at best.

I definitely would have enjoyed this book more if it had more examples, tricks to incorporate the learning into your daily life, and evidence to back up the author's claims.

[Richard Monyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought the title sounded hokey and contrived, but I sure was wrong! This is a must read for everyone who deals with people and unless you're a hermit, that means you. The relationship principles are very easy to apply and the fun thing is you can start using them right away. It's a lot of fun to see an immediate difference when you're out and about interacting with co-workers, your server at a restaurant, your parole officer, your mom, even your wife! Knowledge is power.

[Clayton Tune · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books on people skills out there. Definitely one to read more than once. Recommended for any manager, business owner or anyone just looking to grow more confident in dealing with people.

[Sean · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book started off promisingly but unfortunately quickly turned into a bible thumping, god praising waste of time. I realise for many people this is not a problem but for those who are non-Christian or atheists this is a huge problem. I personally couldn’t even finish the book.

[Lola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting concepts. I will have to see if I can put them to work at work.

[Nasser Al-mrikhy · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب ممتع جداً .. تكتشف معه كيف يفكر الناس و ماذا يريدون وكيف تقدم لهم ذلك لتكسب محبتهم و إحترامهم

[Daisybel]

i want to read it but how ? im really want it ?

[Naveen Kumar · Rating 3 out of 5]

#60 of 100 self help books
Good
If you have trouble handling people, this is the book for you. Sure, it was written in the 1950s, but it does NOT need to be updated. Everything the author says is true; and he explains it all in an easy, understandable, and thoughtful way. One of my favorite parts is when Les Giblin tells a story about one of his friends who walked up to total strangers and chatted with them as if they were old friends. ("No one ever called him fresh or rude.")

[Michael McDowell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Clickbait-y, poorly-written, manipulative, outdated drivel. I would rather my leaders not read this book than be turned into smarmy salesmen straight out of a Leave it to Beaver parody. In contrast to the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, which has a clickbait-y title but contains lots of penetrating insight, this book constantly pretends to have substance without saying anything. For example, one chapter is called “how to use your miracle power in human relations.” What is that “miracle power”? Giving someone a compliment. Seriously. That’s it. Look- just don’t read this book.

[Rimy · Rating 4 out of 5]

اكثر من راااائع

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this book 3.5 stars. It was written over 50 years ago. While the advice is sensible, there are many other books covering the topics with current examples and stories.

[Petr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I put off reading it for three years and read it in three days.
Easy to read, interesting, concise, with examples from real life.
An old book that modern books draw ideas from.
Excellent ending with the application of the book's themes to one's own life.
__________________
What else can perform the magic of a smile?

Pay someone a compliment-and smile-and it multiplies the compliment many times.

Ask someone a favor-and smile-and he feels almost compelled to grant it.

Accept a favor from someone else-and smile-and you add to the appreciation the other fellow feels.ne

Even when you have to use somewhat "plain talk"-a smile takes the sting out. "Smile when you say that," we say to a friend-and if he smiles, almost anything he says is all right.

Meet someone for the first time-and smile-and he feels like he's known you all his lifend smile-and hea

You couldn't buy a magic elixir like that if you had all the money in the world. Yet the Good Lord gave you just such magic. All you have to do is bring it out of hiding, dust it off, and put it to use.
__________________
1. Sincere praise miraculuously releases energy in the other person, perks him up physically, as well as giving his spirits a lift.

2. The person who is discouraged, doing sloppy work, or just hard to get along with is probably suffering from low self-esteem. Praise can act as a wonder drug to give his self-esteem a healthy shot in the arm, change his behavior for the better.

3. Give others credit for what they do. Show your appreciation of what they have done by saying "thank you."

4. Be generous with kind statements. Gratitude is not a common thing. By being generous with gratitude, you make yourself a stand-out.

5. Increase your own happiness and peace of mind by paying three sincere compliments each day.

____________
1. If you want other people to help you, and go all out, you must ask for their ideas as well as for their brawn.

2. Make the other fellow feel that your problem is his problem.

3. Use the principle of multiple management, giving each member of the team a voice in how the team is to operate.

4. When you want someone to do you a favor, make him a member of your team. Don't just say, "How about putting in a good word for me." Say, "If you were in my shoes and wanted to get favorable attention, how would you go about it?"

5. Set up your own brain trust, and make use of the ideas, suggestions, and advice of other people.

6. Be sure when you ask for advice you actually want advice. Don't ask for advice if all you want is sympathy or a pat on the back.
____________
The ideal business executive today is not a man who is a genius, not a man who is so smart that he has all the ideas that are possible. He is a man smart enough to avail himself of the countless ideas of the men working under him, and with the administrative ability to make final decisions and see them put into action. He is a genius all right, but in human relations rather than in creative ideas. He knows how to multiply his own ideas by the ideas of others. He knows to manage people, get them to abide by his decisions, and put his decisions into operation wholeheartedly.
____________
Method No. 1. Assume that the other person did not have all the facts to begin with. "Of course, I can well understand how you might have thought so-and-so, since you did not know about such-and-such at the time."

If the other fellow was wrong, find some excuse for his being wrong.

"Anybody would have thought the same thing under the circumstances."

"I felt the same way about it at first, but then I ran across this information which changes the whole picture."
___________
A SHORT REFRESHER ON CHAPTER 8

1. Both success and happiness depend in large measure on our ability to express ourselves. Therefore, start today to study ways to improve your talk. Keep at it day after day.

2. Practice starting conversations with strangers by using the warm-up technique of asking simple questions, or making obvious observations.

3. To be a good conversationalist, stop trying to be perfect, and don't be afraid to be trite. Nuggets and gems in conversation come only after you have dug a lot of low-grade ore прырода about nimiselt:

4. Ask questions to bring out interesting talk from pthers

rond terasie mity yourself

5. Encourage the other person to talk about himself. Talk about the other person's interests.

6. Use the "me-too" technique to identify yourself with the speaker and his interests.

7. Talk about yourself only when you are invited to do so by the other person. If he wants to know about you, he'll ask.

8. Use "Happy Talk." Remember, nobody likes a Gloomy Gus or a prophet of doom. Keep your troubles to yourself. are mwited to

to koolkabout

9. Eliminate kidding, teasing, and sarcasm from your conversation.

Englewood Cliffs, N. J.: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1954
_________________________________
CHAPTER 7 IN SUMMARY

1. Human relations often become deadlocked because each party is afraid to make the first move.

2. Don't wait for a sign from the other fellow. Assume that he is going to be friendly, and act accordingly.

3. Assume the attitude that you wish the other person to take. Act as if you expected him to like you.

4. Take a chance that the other fellow will be friendly. It is always a gamble, but you'll win 99 times for every time you lose, if you'll just bet on his being friendly. Refuse to take the chance, and you'll lose every time.

5. Don't be an eager-beaver. Don't be overly anxious. Don't knock yourself out trying to make the other fellow like you. Remember, there is such a thing as being too charming and trying too hard.

6. Just relax and take for granted that other people do like you.

7. Use the magic of your smile to warm up the other fellow.

8. Starting today, begin to develop a genuine smile by practicing before your bathroom mirror. You know what a real smile looks like when you see one. Your mirror will tell you whether your smile is real or phoney. Also, going through the motions of smiling will get you in the habit, and actually make you feel more like smiling.

New York: Harper & Brothers, 1951.
_________________________
CHAPTER 5 IN A FEW WORDS

1. In dealing with other people, you yourself sound the keynote for the entire theme, when you begin the Interview.

2. If you start off on a note of formality, the meeting will be formal. Start off on a note of friendliness and the meeting will be friendly. Set the stage for a business-like discussion, and it will be business-like. Start on a note of apology and the other person will force you to play that theme all the way through.

3. When you meet someone for the first time, the impression you make then is very likely to be the keynote that will determine how he regards you for the rest of your life.

4. Other people tend to accept you at your own evaluation. If you think you are a nobody, you are practically asking other people to snub you.

5. One of the best means ever discovered for impressing the other fellow favorably is not to strive too hard to make an impression, but to let him know that he is making a good impression on you

6. People judge you not only by the opinion you hold of yourself, but also by the opinions you hold on other things: your job, your company, even your competition.

7. Negative opinions create a negative atmosphere. Don't be a knocker. And don't be a sorehead

8. The way, itself, in which you ask things, sets the stage or sounds the keynote for the other person's answer. Don't ask "no" questions if you want "yes" answers. Don't ask questions or issue instructions that imply you expect trouble. Why ask for trouble?

New York: W. W. Norton and Co., 1925.

Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1955.
_______________________________
CHAPTER 4 IN BRIEF

1. Whether you realize it or not, you control the actions and attitudes of others by your own actions and attitudes.

2. Your own attitudes are reflected back to you from the other person almost as if you stood before a mirror.

3. Act or feel hostile and the other fellow reflects this hostility back to you. Shout at him, and he is almost compelled to shout back. Act calmly and unemotionally, and you turn away his anger before it gets started and

4. Act enthusiastic and you arouse the enthusiasm of the other person and you arouse the midsmy

5. Act confidently and the other person has confidence in you,ly, ande the

6. Begin today deliberately to cultivate an enthusiastic attitude. Take a tip from Frank Bettger and act as if you were enthusiastic. Soon you'll feel enthusiastic.

Spon, you'll feel

7. Right now, begin deliberately to cultivate a confident manner. Don't mumble your words as if you were afraid to express them. Speak out. Watch your posture. A slumped figure signifies that you find the burdens of life too heavy for you to bear. A drooping head signifies that you are defeated by life. Hold your head up. Straighten up your shoulders. Walk with a confident step, as if you had somewhere important to go.

New York: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1949.
________________________
POINTS TO REMEMBER IN CHAPTER 3

1. Don't be stingy in feeding the hunger for a feeling of importance.

2. Don't underestimate "small courtesies" such as being on time for an appointment. It is by such small things that we acknowledge the importance of the other person. Unfortunately, we are often more courteous to strangers than to home folks. Try treating your family and friends with the same P courtesy you show strangers.

3. Remind yourself that other people are important, and your attitude will get across to the other person.

4. Starting today, begin to notice other people more. Pay attention to a man or a child, and you make him feel important.

5. Don't lord it over other people, or attempt to increase your own feeling of self-importance by making other people feel small. other people more

New York: William Sloane Associates, Inc., 1947.

"Science Newsletter," April 16, 1949.
_________________________
THE ESSENCE OF CHAPTER 2

1. We are all egotists.

2. We are all more interested in ourselves than in anything else in the world.

3. Every person you meet wants to feel important, and to amount to something.

4. There is a hunger in every human being for approval.

5. A hungry ego is a mean ego.

6. Satisfy the other person's hunger for self-esteem and he automatically becomes more friendly and likeable.

7. Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Psychologists now tell us that unless you do love yourself in the sense of having some feeling of self-esteem and self-regard, it is impossible for you to feel friendly toward other people.

8. Remember LS/MFT. Low Self-esteem Means Trouble and Friction.

Alsiger for self-esteem

and

9. Help the other fellow like himself better and you make him easier to get along with.

10. People act, or fail to act, largely to enhance their own egos.
____________________________
CHAPTER 1 IN A NUTSHELL

1. It is a proven fact that from 66 to 90 percent of all failures in the business world are failures in human relations.

2. So-called personality problems, such as timidity, shyness,esand self-consciousness,esare abasically problems in dealing with people.

3. Learn skills in dealing with people with confidence and ar you will wautomatically improve your own success and happiness.

4. Learn the underlying principles involved in dealing with people and you won't need gimmicks.

New York: Harper and Brothers, 1951.