Kiss Me Like A Stranger: My Search for Love and Art

by Gene Wilder

In this personal book from the star of many beloved and classic film comedies -- from The Producers to Young Frankenstein, Blazing saddles to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- Gene Wilder writes about a side of his life the public hasn't seen on the screen. Kiss Me Like a Stranger is not an autobiography in the usual sense of the word, and it's certainly not another celebrity "tell-all." Instead, Wilder has chosen to write about resonant moments in his life, events that led him to an understanding of the art of acting, and -- more important -- to an understanding of how to give love to and receive love from a woman.Wilder writes compellingly about the creative process on stage and screen, and divulges moments from life on the sets of some of the most iconic movies of our time.In this book, he talks about everything from his experiences in psychoanalysis to why he got into acting and later comedy (his first goal was to be a Shakespearean actor), and how a Midwestern childhood with a sick mother changed him. Wilder explains why he became an actor and writer, and about the funny, wonderful movies he made with Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Richard Pryor, and Harrison Ford, among many others. He candidly reveals his failures in love, and writes about the overwhelming experience of marrying comedienne Gilda Radner, as well as what finally had to happen for him to make a true and lasting commitment to another woman.A thoughtful, revealing, and winsome book about life, love, and the creative process, the New York Times bestseller Kiss Me Like A Stranger is one actor's life in his own words.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, Humor

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Gene Wilder was an American Emmy Award-winning and twice Academy Award-nominated stage and screen comic actor, screenwriter, film director, and author.

Wilder began his career on stage, making his screen debut in the film Bonnie and Clyde in 1967. His first major role was as Leo Bloom in the 1968 film, The Producers. This was the first in a series of prolific collaborations with writer/director Mel Brooks, including 1974's Young Frankenstein, the script of which garnered the pair an Academy Award nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay. Wilder was known for his portrayal of Willy Wonka on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) and for his four films with Richard Pryor: Silver Streak (1976), Stir Crazy (1980), See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989), and Another You (1991). Wilder directed and wrote several of his films, including The Woman in Red (1984).

His marriage to actress Gilda Radner, who died from ovarian cancer, led to his active involvement in promoting cancer awareness and treatment, helping found the Gilda Radner Ovarian Cancer Detection Center in Los Angeles and co-founding Gilda's Club.

In more recent years, Wilder turned his attention to writing, producing a memoir in 2005, Kiss Me Like A Stranger: My Search for Love and Art, and the novels My French Whore (2007) and The Woman Who Wouldn't (2008).

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing not to love!!!

Thanks Taya -

The man was brilliant- funny - wonderful …

A great loss !

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kiss Me Like a Stranger: My Search for Love and Art
by Gene Wilder

I have always enjoyed the comedic humor of Gene Wilder but really didn't know anything about him except he was married to Radner ( who I also loved) at one time. This book takes the reader through his whole life. Childhood, school, family life, boarding school, bullies, love life, adulthood, professional life, love life, marriages. His grief, his happiness, what it felt like to be a Jew and bullied, his battle with cancer, watching Glenda's battle with cancer, and so much more.

I picked this up for a couple of bucks on Chirp and Wilder narrates it himself. It's so open and honest to the point of being shocking in spots. It's heartwarming and heartfelt as he lays his life open for all to see. I don't think I could be that brave. He wrote this when his cancer was in remission in 2005. He died in 2016 after battling three years of dementia. I looked this up after I finished the book. That made me cry. Such a brilliant and witty mind and it was crippled in the end.

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good memoir. I didn't know a lot about Gene's personal life and it was fun to read about his time making Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles (although he didn't write as much about Blazing Saddles as I would have liked). It was a quick read and I do recommend it especially if you are a fan.

Just a little addition to my review- in light of the fact that Gene Wilder passed away from complications of Alzheimer's disease this week. This is a good book written by Gene. May he rest in peace.

[Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Before reading this book, I was a huge fan of Gene Wilder and included him on my list of "Celebrities I'd Like to Get a Drink With." I am still a fan of and believe that he is one of the funniest actors ever, but I no longer want to have a drink with him. Why? Because this book made me realize on thing: Gene Wilder is kind of an asshole.

[Meagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing, amazing, amazing. I've always loved Gene Wilder, and usually I shy away from autobios by people I love, just for the simple fact that I might end up not liking them as much once I hear them speak. But Gene Wilder is Gene Wilder, and I snatched this up as soon as I found it.

I was not disappointed. He was different than I thought he'd be - of course - but there were so many things I could relate and sympathize to, I was suprised. It was one of those wonderful realizations of finding a kindred spirit in somebody, even if or when you've never met them, or when your lives are so vastly different that it seems impossible.

I've always admired Gene for his acting, but now I admire him much more for his life and his spirit. This is a true artist, a true actor. And while I'm not an actress, by any means, I'd like to think of myself as an artist, and this...just helped me so much. So unbelivably much.

Honestly, whether you consider yourself artistic or spiritual or not, read it. It won't take very long, his narrative is bouncy and light, and you'll be better off.

[Tara♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this about 10 years ago and it's still in my top five autobiographies. Such a fascinating man. RIP Gene Wilder.

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, first off, let's just get this off the table before we do anything else. Is there really anybody in the whole world who wants to know the intimate details of Willy Wonka's love life? Hm. Right. I thought not. Now that that's cleared up.
This predictably egocentric book about the jerk that is Gene Wilder reaches a point of inane self-obsession when Wilder asserts that his pre-marriage affair with Gilda Radner was the supreme act of unselfishness on his part. I had no idea when I picked up the book that the subtitle: My Search For Love and Art would be code for My Search for Women and Fame. But that doesn't sound nearly as artistic.
Wilder specializes in "blaming the victim," an annoying habit that grows tiresome quickly. It's his first wife's fault that he married her, he did it out of guilt. It's his second wife's fault that they got married, he did it out of guilt. It's his adopted daughter's fault that they don't speak anymore, it's because she's angry at "all men." It couldn't possibly be because Gene Wilder is a complete and unmitigated jerk.
Wilder also has a horribly predictable writing style. It goes, invariably, like this (you can insert your own favorite celebrity names in the provided spaces.)
"I met with _____________ (famous producer), who hired ____________ (famous director), and ____________ (drop name of famous actor) and ________________(drop name of famous actor number 2). Then I did _____________(insert romantic tryst) with _____________ (drop name of famous actress.) We stayed at _____________(name of hotel) and it cost ____________(amount of money), nowadays it would cost ___________. Can you believe it?!" The wearisome pattern in the book never seems to end. He tries to throw in some acting tips too, but it all gets muddled badly. It's just a travelogue/name dropping circus, until you get to the parts about Gilda Radner, which are marginally more interesting.
By the way, did Gene Wilder mention that he is NOT gay? Because he really wants you to know. You already knew, right?
Wilder is a great character actor, but he seems to have forgotten that and now, in the delusional stages of seniority, thinks he is a massively famous worldwide star. Don't read this book.

[Lavonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this after reading Gilda Radner's "It's Always Something". I thought it would be interesting to read the other side of the story and see what his perspective was. I had come away from Gilda's book with the idea that Gene Wilder was a saint. From his book, I concluded that he is altogether human, with faults and all. Still, he comes across as very down-to-earth, humble, and unfailingly kind.

He went through a lot of tough times, in his career and his personal life. With regards to Gilda, a lot of the same incidents were mentioned, but his views of them were never as in-depth. He was still quite honest about her faults, but he was crazy about her. He has since remarried. One review of this book said that he really portrayed Gilda as monsterous, and that he gushed too much about his new wife. He never seemed (to me) to say an absolutely unkind thing about Gilda, and if he now "gushes" about his new wife, with whom he has found happiness, than he has earned the right.

I probably would have given the book 3 and a 1/2 stars, if possible. I found the writing not too much better than that found in Gilda's book, but it was a bit more cohesive. And the truth is purely personal - I liked Gene Wilder before, now I am truly a fan.

Finishing the book, I immediately wanted to do two things: 1) Rent every movie he has ever done, the ones I've seen, the ones I haven't. Now, that I know the creative process behind them, it would be so much more interesting, and 2) Write Mr. Wilder a fan letter. Okay, not so much a fan letter, more a note, just three words: "Good for you!"

[Sean Peters (A Good Thriller) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Autobiography/Biography number 9 finished today.

I loved some of Gene Wilder films, making some of the best comedies of recent years, Silver Streak, Woman In Red, Young Frankenstein, and Willy Wonka but to me especially See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

So was he like his screen personality in real life... I am not sure.

Read his autobiography but feel I still do not know his personality that well, and want I did find out through reading the book, to me he was not quite as a carefree cheerful character as I suspected.

I personally found he spent more talking about his sexual relationships and success than he did the films, the co-stars. How quickly he bedded his new girlfriends. Hey, I know I am sounding a bit old fashioned but I am not, just find in not very interesting in a book.

Some interesting parts, but rather shocking, especially with his lack of support with Gilda Radner, and her fight for life and such a tough battle with cancer, the hard times he gave her.

I really enjoyed Woman In Red, in this book the film is mentioned in one paragraph, Kelly Le Brock not mentioned at all. Yes he worked with so many greats Marty Feldman, Mel Brooks and of course four films with Richard Pryor, but little spoken about in the books.

Married four times, and quite a bit in between, including quick relationships, abortions, ill health and his own battle with cancer..

Then the book just ends. Three stars only

[Kressel Housman · Rating 3 out of 5]

After Gene Wilder’s death last week, I binged on interviews he did at various stages of his career. The most poignant was in 2013 at the 92nd Street Y because you can see that he was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, but the most in-depth interview, unsurprisingly, was with Terry Gross in promotion of this book. The interview, like the book, covers his personal life as well as his career, but included things he never went public with anywhere else. The most notable of these, and the thing that made me pick up the book, was that for a time, he suffered from a compulsion to pray for hours at a time. He doesn’t name the disorder, but I recognized it immediately as scrupulosity, a form of OCD. Religious Jew that I am, I could not help but wonder how different his life might have been had he gone to a rabbi for help instead of a therapist. But while his therapist is a major character in the book, the scrupulosity part (lucky for him) didn’t last long.

Now, I should confess that when I was about twelve, I had a huge crush on Gene Wilder. No doubt it started with Willy Wonka, but it was really about him and what he brought to his characters. There’s nothing like a gentle intellectual to win over the heart of a Jewish woman. So it was an uncanny confirmation to me when he married Gilda Radner. In the years that I was crushing on him the hardest, she was at the height of her fame, and people everywhere were saying how much I resembled her. Plenty of people called me “Gilda” and sometimes, even worse, “Roseanna Danna.” Then came Coincidence #2: his longest and happiest marriage was with a woman named Karen, which happens to be my English name. So I always thought that if I would ever actually meet Gene Wilder, the attraction might be mutual. That’s the kiss he earned from this stranger, the kind of love he says he and so many other actors crave. Of course, we fans crave the kiss from those larger-than-life stars at least as much they do. That’s what keeps the wheels of the Hollywood dream machine turning.

All of that is my long way of saying that Gene Wilder had a pretty high pedestal to fall from where I’m concerned, and after this book, fall he did. I liked reading about his development as an actor, and the most poignant parts are at the end with his own triumph over cancer. He’s an authoritative voice on that subject, having experienced it both as a loved one and as a patient. But there was way Too Much Information about his romantic affairs. He’s certainly not one of Hollywood’s most shameful cads, but he was no saint either. So if you don’t want to tarnish your image of Gene Wilder as Charlie Bucket’s secret advocate (and we all envision ourselves in Charlie’s position in that scenario), stick with the interviews and skip this book.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first started reading this book, I felt uncomfortable -- maybe even a little embarrassed. It was almost like eavesdropping on a therapy session. But then, after a few chapters, I realized something -- Gene Wilder was being totally honest. He was sharing what he really thought, giving his real opinion, and telling about things he did or said, regardless of whether they would be judged as good or bad by his readers.

Don't read this book expecting Gene to be funny. Watch his movies for that. This book is about his career, his life, his friends, relationships, the ups and downs of his career, his marriages....his real feelings, his real struggles with mental illness and life in general. Creative people often have the hardest time with "real'' life. It makes sense -- if you spend more time pretending to be other people than being yourself....how do you remember who you really are?

He shares about his self doubt, talks about his failed marriages, loving and losing Gilda Radner, his own struggle with cancer and finally finding love again with his present wife.

It was nice to have a peek at the real man behind the acting skills. I was a fan of Gene Wilder before I read this book -- I am an even bigger fan now.

Thank you for being candid and real, Gene. Your story was amazing.

My rating: 8/10
Ages: 18+
Candid discussions of sex and adult situations

[Una Tiers · Rating 2 out of 5]

For someone who was a brilliant actor, he didn't write all that well. His topics were self-centered. His side of the Gilda Radner relationship was surprisingly cool, in a distant, egocentric manner.
While I loved his work, now I realize the adage about watching sausage being made.

[Just a Girl Fighting Censorship · Rating 5 out of 5]

I once saw a meme that pinned Gene Wilder's Wonka against Johnny Depp's and it said something to the effect that Wilder is a nobody and Depp is an acting god, it annoyed me. Now I had a wall of Depp pictures that I had cut out from magazines but I will be the first to say that Wilder's Willy Wonka was far superior to Depp's very entertaining rendition. Also, Gene Wilder has been in many other amazing films...Young Frankenstein, The Producers, Blazing Saddles and the Richard Prior/Gene Wilder films are classics!



In other words, I love Gene Wilder and if you have something bad to say about him, I'll cut you!



The content of this book was about 20% childhood, 20% showbiz, 58% personal life and...



What percent was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? I don't know about percentage but it was like 3 paragraphs. Yep, that's it. I found this to be greatly disappointing since the film is in my top ten movies of all time list but his film career wasn't the focus, and I admire that. Instead of listing out his filmography he sieved through movie trivia and provided anecdotes that supported his themes of love and art and illustrated how he grew as an artist and a person.

The narration felt very honest and intimate as Wilder takes the reader through his life and all the women who greatly influenced him from his mother to his adopted daughter Katie to Gilda and their dog Sparkles.



I have heard people complain that Gene is a jerk because he kissed another woman when he was still with Gilda, but it was just a kiss. He never made any excuses like they did for Jim Henson: The Biography and he never tried to paint himself as a saint like Dick Van Dyke did in My Lucky Life in and Out of Show Business and those men actually slept with other women while they were married. I also never found the tone to be pretentious as Gene airs out his own personal demons and mental illness.

I found Gene to be incredibly sincere and sensitive. His writing was peppered with humor but it was also very introspective, reflective, and at times poetic. I was moved to tears at the death of Gilda and again when Gene was battling his own run in with cancer. This was beautifully written and wonderfully rhythmic at times it felt less like a piece of non-fiction and more like a story that was often bittersweet. Reading this increased my love for Gene twofold!



Highly recommend!

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gene Wilder's autobiography, narrated by Gene Wilder! What an absolute delight. He speaks with great honesty about his years of therapy, his four wives, Gilda Radner's death, his troubled relationship with his daughter, and his deep love for his parents and sister. The book is poignant and hilarious.

He has worked with many of the greatest actors and directors of the twentieth century: such as Helen Hayes, Anne Bancroft, Arthur Penn, Sidney Poitier, Richard Pryor, Mike Nichols, Woody Allen, Lee Strasburg, Mel Brooks, Zero Mostel, Cloris Leachman, Marty Feldman, Gene Hackman, Terry Garr, Cleavon Little, and Harrison Ford.

In the early 1960's Wilder auditioned for and was admitted to The Actor's Studio under the great Lee Strasburg where he learned the Stanislavski method. There he learned many techniques such as sense memory that served him well in his career. Another one was: if you are doing something funny, you don't need to act funny. Some of his great roles: Leo Bloom in The Producers (1967), the title role in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), The Waco Kid in Blazing Saddles (1974), Dr. Frederick Frankenstein in Young Frankenstein (1974) - He also wrote the screenplay, Rudy Hickman in The World's Greatest Lover (1977) - he wrote, directed, produced and starred, and Skip Donahue in Stir Crazy (1980).

I particularly enjoyed Wilder's description of how he wrote Young Frankenstein and his collaboration with Mel Brooks. I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

I listened to the book in one sitting. It is that good! I recommend it highly.

[Chel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no idea why I read this book -- downloaded as a whim. I enjoyed it, and I like his simple, straightforward prose. It wasn't knock-your-socks-off profound, and it wasn't funny, but it was real. When I read reviews of other readers who thought he came across as unsympathetic, I was tempted to bump up my rating in protest. He is honest. That includes the parts of his life when he was not mature, not very wise, sometimes actively troubled. He doesn't dwell on his pain or confusion, but he reports how he acted and why. I appreciated that.

[Samantha Glasser · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Gene Wilder's character says, "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." This idea has become his persona in the movies which has brought him many fans over the years. Wilder, star of hits like Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, has written his autobiography. The title Kiss Me Like A Stranger was given to him by his late wife Gilda Radner of Saturday Night Live fame. While they were married, she vivaciously yelled out the title and told him to use it for something. Only after she had passed did he realize the significance it had for his life.

"I thought I'd go crazy if I didn't have something artistic to do... I started writing, and whatever had built up, after Gilda, then finding my wife, Karen, and then memories from childhood... it just started pouring out," said Wilder.

The book is candid and entertaining. It is not laugh out loud funny as one might expect from a comic actor like Wilder. In many places it is sad and thoughtful. Wilder writes of his struggles with his family, women, religion, acting, and cancer. He utilizes dialogue between himself and his therapist to tell or to interpret events in his life. It employs a large font and substance for only two-hundred seventy-two pages which makes it easy to read but void of details about films. There is generally only one or two behind-the-scenes stories about each movie and none are outstanding.

Janet Maslin, writer from The New York Times said, "Though this book is true to the nice guy persona that Mr. Wilder has used to such a fine comic effect as an actor, it is not without claws." It is obvious that women are prominent in Wilder's life and that his career takes a backseat to them. He is emotional but fair to the women involved in the various embarrassing scenarios mentioned. It does not seem that he is attempting to soil their names. He owns up to his mistakes and identifies the positives in the people he has surrounded himself with.

The stance that Wilder takes on his many relationships is illustrated when he says, "How could it have happened that I found her at this stage of my life? If we had met twenty years earlier, it wouldn't have worked. I know that. I wasn't ready for her, and she probably wasn't ready for me." It seems that Wilder believes that the hardships in his life have shaped him and have given him the opportunity to experience happiness.

Kiss Me Like a Stranger is not a quotable book but it is filled with insight. It is very frank about the fact that Wilder is not different from the masses. It might be slightly disappointing to fans solely of Wilder's films, but it should please those interested in his personality and life experiences.

[Bonnie]

An interesting memoir, a real sharing of a life and times, with some profound insights. I've always liked him and found him facinating. It's well written, he uses an intermittant conversation with his therapist as a writing tool which works well. Very engaging. He was mentioned at a writing class I took last summer and it piqued my interest, I didn't know he was an author.

[Casey Danielson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dag, I forgot how effortless a writer Mr. Wilder is. This is my third book of his, and the first non-fiction. Reading this autobiography is like sitting and catching up with an old friend—sit back and relax, and get ready to smile to yourself on your mass-transit system of choice. If you haven't read Wilder's fiction, DO IT!

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so excited to read this book...I was greatly looking forward to learning more about the man who kept me captivated as a child watching Willy Wonka; & the man who kept me laughing as an adult watching Young Frankenstein & Blazing Saddles.
While this book delves into Gene's at times odd childhood & his experiences as an adult in the acting world, it left me feeling sorry that I had read it. I think the thing that bothered me the most was when he spoke of Gilda Radner...it has very little emotion. He states in the book about her treatments for cancer, but he does not discuss how this affected him other than that he became upset with her yelling at him & their arguments while she was going through this difficult time in her life.
To my great dismay, he seemed to only want to focus on the woman whom he married after Gilda's passing. Gilda deserved better than that. To keep things brief, do not get this book thinking you will get a deep insight into Gilda & Gene's relationship. You will be sadly disappointed. If you do want to hear about Gene's weird sexual experiences, his odd few marriages, and failed movie attempts...read on and enjoy.

[Peter Boyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gene Wilder has always held a unique fascination for me. I'll never forget watching Willy Wonka on TV as a child; I was simultaneously enthralled and terrified. I clearly remember cowering behind an armchair during the infamous boat scene. Later on I discovered his comedy talents in the films like Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. So I was naturally curious to learn a bit more about him.

But be forewarned - this autobiography does not focus on Wilder's film career. It mainly concentrates on his relationships, the awkward fumblings of his teenage years and his many marriages. I can't say his attitude to women impressed me that much. He seems to have left his first two wives purely out of boredom, and poor Gilda Radner was barely in her grave when he had hooked up with Mrs Wilder number four. But he can really write, and the book is at its most candid and touching when he talks about both his and Radner's struggle with cancer. I'd like to have read more about his movie exploits (my beloved Wonka only gets a couple of pages) but this is an honest, unflinching account from one the twentieth century's finest comedic actors.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short, charming autobiography is unlike any other actor bio I have ever read. Instead of hashing out major notable career moments and gossipy stories, he focuses on his own neuroses, women, and major lessons in acting from his life. In this way, the book provides infinitely more insight into Wilder's character than more traditional biographies. And despite the lack of trashy content, Wilder does not sugar coat people in his life (particularly Gilda) and it's refreshing to have a writer allow such honesty. It's a humble and sweet read.

[Denise Nader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hay una tendencia cada vez mayor de calificar las memorias de acuerdo a la simpatía o antipatía que nos generan las confesiones del autor o autora.
¿Qué hace que una memoria sea buena? Para mí, primero, que esté bien escrita y que sea honesta: esto quiere decir que quien la escribe no intenta convencernos de nada, sino de abrir su vida para que sus confesiones, errores y aprendizajes sirvan a otros. Habrá momentos de franco egoísmo, estupidez, ceguera, arrogancia; pero también de pasión, creatividad, alegría, generosidad. Y si están ahí esas cosas, significa que no nos están siendo ocultadas. Nos están siendo contadas para ver el proceso de cómo se llega a ser actor, cantante, bailarina, comediante o cual sea haya sido la profesión de quien escribe.
En el caso de Gene Wilder, un gigante de la comedia, un guionista genial, sus memorias no ocultan lo feo. Solo lo muestran como parte de un aprendizaje hecho gracias a las sesiones con su psicoanalista. Todo el libro es como una gran sesión, en donde una idea lleva a otra, en donde la culpa no tiene lugar por mucho tiempo porque regodearse en ésta solo lleva a la victimización, y negarla te vuelve un canalla. Wilder no quería ser un canalla, y su lucha por no serlo es conmovedora.

[Mary K · Rating 4 out of 5]

The structure was at first annoying - telling his story through his visits to his therapist, and the first quarter of the book, the writing seemed so elementary, but I ended up loving this book. Good person with a good story, mostly untainted by Hollywood

[Mersi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was beautiful and raw. I heard his story on his voice.
I cried a bit.

[Ryan Canterbury]

Damn

[Lukasz Pruski · Rating 3 out of 5]

""The two most important things I learned at The Actors Studio were: don't use any technique if the situation and the author's words are working for you, by themselves; and try to stay in the moment, which only means that every time you do the same scene [...] the scene will be different each time you do it, and it will be alive. "

I remember Gene Wilder mainly from the title role in the supremely funny Mel Brooks' movie Young Frankenstein for which he received the best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award nomination. His title role in the sweet fantasy family movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has also been universally acclaimed and Mr. Wilder was nominated to Golden Globe Best Actor Award. Kiss Me Like A Stranger. My Search for Love and Art is for the most part a charming memoir by Mr. Wilder. Its general mood resembles the sweet atmosphere of Wonka even if the text sometimes deals with adult, serious, even grim matters.

The memoir is interspersed with brief passages recounting Mr. Wilder's sessions with his psychotherapist. This literary device allows a modicum of freedom from the boring strict chronological flow of the autobiographical narrative. Not only do we read about the trajectory of Mr. Wilder's acting career, beginning from his time in college and his study at the Old Vic Theatre School in England, but we are also offered a frank and personal account of his psycho-emotional problems and compulsive behaviors.

Chapters about the technical aspects of acting are captivating: Mr. Wilder contrasts the "traditional", Stanislavski-influenced method with Lee Strasberg's approach ("be rather than act," in my complete layman's understanding) of The Actors Studio Theater. Mr. Wilder's meeting Mel Brooks becomes a seminal event in his professional career. He receives the nominations for the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award in The Producers. Well-known movies like Willy Wonka, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein follow.

Between 1984 and 1989 Mr. Wilder was married to Gilda Radner, of Saturday Night Live fame, perhaps the finest female comedian of the generation. Again, the account of their marriage is deeply personal and frank. The passages about Ms. Radner's struggle with ovarian cancer and her death are devastating and deeply moving.

The reader will find quite a bit of more or less delicate humor in the memoir. I love the following passage:

"'I want to do a remake of Sister Carrie,' he said. 'I'm thinking of either you or Laurence Olivier in the man's part, but instead of a woman in Jennifer Jones's part, I want to use a sheep.'"

It's an actor's memoir so it is not possible to avoid name-dropping. Even so, to me it is excessive, and, for instance, the fragment about Orson Welles recognizing him could have been written in a less ostentatious way. The endearing sweetness of the earlier parts of the memoir eventually turns into a bit of cloying schmaltziness towards the end.

Mostly charming and very readable autobiography. The reader will find it very hard not to like Mr. Wilder.

Three-and-a-quarter stars.

[Νατάσσα · Rating 4 out of 5]

Εξαιρετικό το βιβλίο, κακή η μετάφρασή του στα ελληνικά.

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I'd never read this book. I have always liked Gene Wilder, but this book presents him as nothing more than a penis with a person attached to it's back. And if Gene Wilder cannot make Gene Wilder sympathetic, who can?

His self-centered view of everyone around him and his abominal treatment of wives two and three are just two of the reasons he gives us to hate his subject matter (himself). While wife number three (Gilda Radner)was dying of ovarian cancer and going through the tortures of chemo therapy and radiation treatment - Gene was sulking over the fact that he wasn't getting any. Plus, by his own admission he chewed her out a good one for "only thinking of herself". He even dated the woman who would become wife number four while wife number three was at home dying. What a horrible man!

I recently read two other biographies where celebrities dealt with seriously ill spouses. Ozzie Osbourne's retelling of his wife's battle with cancer was heartbreaking. He was scared to death of losing her, and was jubulant in her recovery. Seriously, Gene Wilder (gentle funnyman) or Ozzie Osbourne (hard rocks's Prince of Darkness): on the face of things which one would you expect to be the more sympathetic to someone else's suffering? Ozzie comes off as the gentler, kinder human, hands-down. Esther Williams also gives a heartbreaking account of the death of her husband, Fernando Lamas, from pancreatic cancer - and Fernando was an extremely difficult spouse. But you grieve with her, due to her compassionate treatment of the subject matter and her determination to make sure she is not left with any "what ifs" after Fernando died. PLUS: Ozzie and Esther are both much funnier than Gene. Incredible.

But both Ozzie and Esther see more to their life than their ability to get nookie. Or the requirement that all must cherish them above everything else. Gene claims to have left wife number two after the success of Young Frankenstein, because she had a daughter (a daughter he adopted, so this child was no hidden secret)and momma loved her daughter, he suspected more than she loved him. Even though he admits his wife and daughter loved him very much. Interestingly enough, he began dating his Young Frankenstein co-star, Teri Garr, just after he left his wife. Hmm... And when he first began with Gilda Radner, she was married to someone else, and he was judging her 7-ways-to-Sunday for suggesting they commit adultery and he didn't want to be an adulterer. Not a nice person, and a hypocrite on top of it all.

As I said, I wish I'd never read this book. I don't think I'll ever enjoy Willy Wonka or Young Frankenstein in quite the same way again.

[tina]

I've been brooding over this one. Things I didn't know about Gene Wilder: he's written many screen plays, he adopted a daughter, he studied acting quite a bit, and he's a part of the Actor's Studio. I had an affection for Gene Wilder. He's someone I always liked seeing on the screen, starting with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to Young Frankenstein to pretty much anything. But I probably should have been a bit more cautious about buying his book. I'd heard that he was doing a reading of new work at the 92nd Street Y. I wanted to go but didn't. And thus i decided to read this so that I could decide that I wanted to read his fiction. I suppose none of this says anything about the book. About the book, it's entertaining. But I'm a little disappointed on a personal level. You want to think people's work you like is as good as they are. But what i learned made me a little sad. I'm sad that Gene Wilder fell in love with someone else while his wife was dying. I'm sad he admits that he married someone he didn't love so that he could be a father. I'm really sad that he writes this his daughter refuses to talk to him and he has no idea why. It contradicts the narrative of himself, that he's this sensitive man. Though he may in fact be emotive, he lacks the capacity to empathize. It must be truly terrible to have a spouse that is so sick. But i just got confused that he discuss his sexual needs in that context. Do they not go on the back burner? Is that him being honest about what every non sick spouse feels? I also thought it strange the way he juxtaposes Gilda Radner to his new wife. I don't have the book in front of me but he calls her a child, a selfish child. He remembers her yelling something like, 'but who else can i be like this with if not you?" And then his new wife comes along in her shiny adult armor with a sentimental poem about love on her cupboard. The exact opposite. It may be a funny thing that things line up in certain ways to give you certain experiences that make your life wonderful. But it seems women are so lacking and replaceable. And that makes me a little down.

[Sara the Librarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book kind of made me hate Gene Wilder. I'm not particularly happy about that. It hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. The Spartan, cold writing I've so loved in his fiction managed to turn a man I've always viewed as compassionate, sensitive, and wonderfully creative into a cold, self satisfied, sex obsessed narcissist with absolutely no grasp on how to interact with other human beings in any meaningful way. Sure he has lots of "dear friends" and an endless series of "charming dinners" with other actors where they wile away the hours talking about craft and it turns out he's responsible for everything from Willy Wonka's famous hobbling entrance with a cane to the early detection of ovarian cancer (I wish I was kidding) but there's no soul here, no real person with a real life. Its like a card board cut out of Gene Wilder wrote a book about all the major events in his life.

I was genuinely physically uncomfortable when I finally put this down. Truly disturbed by a man who only seems to see other human beings when they're actually in the room with him. As soon as the door closes they disappear and its off to the next lover, next show, next script.

It wouldn't be hard at all to kiss Gene Wilder like a stranger. If this account of his life is to be believed that is, quite literally, all he appears to be.