What do you think?
Rate this book
The ZOMBIE'S Survival Guide, Thrive In The Zombie Apocalypse After You Turn...
Learn Before You Turn...
The "Zombie" Apocalypse is coming. It's not "if" it's "when", and if you think you are going to be one of the brave survivors you see in the movies and video games or read about in books and graphic novels you are sadly mistaken. You know who I mean, the handsome and tough hero who was a Navy Seal that women love and men want to be. Or the beautiful, big breasted, brilliant heroine with a PhD in "Science". You aren't even the wisecracking sidekick who lives to defend the heroes. You are a regular person, an everyman. Just as I was before I created this fully illustrated guidebook. So face it, the odds are much more in favor of you becoming one of the undead. A ghoul. A Dead. A "Zombie".
But don't worry, there is hope. There are ways for you to "live" a very rewarding "life" after you turn. How long, well that depends. But you might as well enjoy it while you can. Sure, it's not as cool as being a vampire. They get the late nights partying, looking like the heroes I mentioned above, the cool clothes, and getting to sleep all day. No, you will be a staggering, oozing, puss-filled mess.
But how can you fight Healthies armed with weapons that can be anything from a boy with a screwdriver to a soldier with an automatic rifle? You will not only have physical limitations but you will also be stupid, right?
Wrong.
Many "zombies" retain much of their intelligence after they turn. The ones that are out in the open and shuffling toward people who have guns or other weapons are the dumb ones. The ones that weren't prepared. The smart ones know what to do. They go unnoticed. They wait for their chance to attack. They plot. But if the "Zombie Apocalypse" is coming and hasn't happened yet, how do I know all of this?
Because it has already started. It just hasn't reached you yet, or maybe you're not aware. The mind can play tricks.
And because I'm Hetfield Madden.
And I'm a "Zombie"...
The "Zombie" Apocalypse is coming. It's not "if" it's "when", and if you think you are going to be one of the brave survivors you see in the movies and video games or read about in books and graphic novels you are sadly mistaken. You know who I mean, the handsome and tough hero who was a Navy Seal that women love and men want to be. Or the beautiful, big breasted, brilliant heroine with a PhD in "Science". You aren't even the wisecracking sidekick who lives to defend the heroes. You are a regular person, an everyman. Just as I was before I created this fully illustrated guidebook. So face it, the odds are much more in favor of you becoming one of the undead. A ghoul. A Dead. A "Zombie".
But don't worry, there is hope. There are ways for you to "live" a very rewarding "life" after you turn. How long, well that depends. But you might as well enjoy it while you can. Sure, it's not as cool as being a vampire. They get the late nights partying, looking like the heroes I mentioned above, the cool clothes, and getting to sleep all day. No, you will be a staggering, oozing, puss-filled mess.
But how can you fight Healthies armed with weapons that can be anything from a boy with a screwdriver to a soldier with an automatic rifle? You will not only have physical limitations but you will also be stupid, right?
Wrong.
Many "zombies" retain much of their intelligence after they turn. The ones that are out in the open and shuffling toward people who have guns or other weapons are the dumb ones. The ones that weren't prepared. The smart ones know what to do. They go unnoticed. They wait for their chance to attack. They plot. But if the "Zombie Apocalypse" is coming and hasn't happened yet, how do I know all of this?
Because it has already started. It just hasn't reached you yet, or maybe you're not aware. The mind can play tricks.
And because I'm Hetfield Madden.
And I'm a "Zombie"...
106 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 28, 2010
60 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
October 26, 2010
Hetfield Madden, of “Het Madden, A Zombie Perspective” fame, offers the ultimate survival guide for the Zombie (excuse me, Undead) Apocalypse he declares has already begun.
From describing all the gruesome, but manageable, changes your newly-dead body will experience to advising you on which groups of Healthies (the as yet still living) will pose the greatest threat to your perhaps surprisingly vulnerable corpse, this invaluable guide gives step-by-step instructions on how to be the best Dead you can be. And as Het assures this is the inevitable fate that awaits us all, this is a guide you’ll want to study thoroughly and keep close at hand for future easy reference.
Always hilarious, yet properly gross, Calvin A.L. Miller’s “The ZOMBIE’S Survival Guide” is a quick, fun read that could well be masking a satirically-scathing social commentary, during the reading of which you may find yourself wondering if sections are referring to the thinking Dead or the unthinking Living. Either way, it’s a great read, recommended for the wonderful complementary diagrams (provided by artist Alan Gandy), as well as for the piquant wit of the author.
From describing all the gruesome, but manageable, changes your newly-dead body will experience to advising you on which groups of Healthies (the as yet still living) will pose the greatest threat to your perhaps surprisingly vulnerable corpse, this invaluable guide gives step-by-step instructions on how to be the best Dead you can be. And as Het assures this is the inevitable fate that awaits us all, this is a guide you’ll want to study thoroughly and keep close at hand for future easy reference.
Always hilarious, yet properly gross, Calvin A.L. Miller’s “The ZOMBIE’S Survival Guide” is a quick, fun read that could well be masking a satirically-scathing social commentary, during the reading of which you may find yourself wondering if sections are referring to the thinking Dead or the unthinking Living. Either way, it’s a great read, recommended for the wonderful complementary diagrams (provided by artist Alan Gandy), as well as for the piquant wit of the author.
August 5, 2011
Every person should have this book on their shelf!! Love, love, love it!
April 12, 2012
It was ... cute! Not groundbreaking or particularly funny. It was refreshing to read something from a Zombie point of view. I chuckled a few times at the illustrations. I think making it a Zombie survival guide was a novel approach.
April 18, 2012
There are a few interesting ideas batted around in this one, but it reads more like an outline to a longer, better book than a self-contained work...
September 15, 2012
Well, it's early in the book, but so far it lacks any creativity, is not very entertaining/funny, and is stuff I already knew!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews