Gullboy

by Wade Rubenstein

A month into the rocky marriage of Ernesto Zanpa and Venus Rojo -- two twentysomethings stumbling into adulthood -- Ernesto discovers a baby in a seagull s nest near their Brighton Beach bungalow. No ordinary baby, the boy has wing-like arms and a soft sheen of white feathers. Despite the baby s peculiarity, Ernesto is drawn to this gullboy, and decides, against Venus s wishes, to raise the foundling as his own. He names the baby Franco, after his own late father, and abandons his life of loafing to support the child.

Within a year, Franco grows with bird-like speed from infant to teenager, Ernesto matures from beach bum to workaholic chef, and Venus, tired of her husband s inattention and with ambitions of her own, transforms herself into an Internet porn star. Add in a reprobate attorney, a resentful cop, an overzealous surgeon, a lusty accountant, a pair of Russian mobsters, and a teenage siren named Trina, and life gets more than a little complicated. But perched at the center of this Brooklyn maelstrom where everything s slightly askew is our gullboy -- an extraordinary child trying grow up in a world that won t stop staring at him.

A tragicomic story in the tradition of Kafka, Cervantes, and John Kennedy Toole, Wade Rubenstein s Gullboy is a story about mistaking the best in ourselves for the worst and vice versa -- a heartrending novel with a hectic energy, an expansive view, and an unflinching eye.

400 pages, Hardcover

First published September 5, 2005

Reviews

[Patricia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not certain if this is a spoiler, but the existing reviews are missing the point that Ernesto is indeed Franco's father. Maybe the descriptor "inconceivable" by the author is part of the farce? Franco's conception results when a female seagull swallows a condom filled with Ernesto's semen and lays her eggs outside of Ernesto's house.

I am debating whether to finish this book, whether it is worth my time. Farce? Allegory? But too many heartless, stupid, self-centered people populate this story for my comfort.

I will return with a final review if I manage to struggle through.

[Shannon McAvoy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was alright, but it was clearly trying to be funnier than it was. A goofy story for sure, but not sure who I would recommend it to.

[Tinylittlewars · Rating 5 out of 5]

F*cking brilliant!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

From December 2005 School Library Journal:
Rubenstein has subtitled his work, “The Inconceivable Life of Franco Pajarito Zanpa,” and inconceivable is truly the word for this treasure of a tale. The infant Franco is discovered in a seagull’s nest by Ernesto Zanpa, a shiftless young man who drifts through his days with as little work as possible. Despite the objections of Ernesto’s young wife Venus—a streetwalker with aspirations of Internet porn stardom—Ernesto quickly becomes attached to the little boy with feathers on his body and a beak where his mouth should be. As Ernesto takes to fatherhood, he finds himself driven to make a good life for Franco, and discovers his hidden culinary talent in the greasy kitchen of the neighborhood diner. At the same time that Ernesto is trying to do right by his boy, there are plenty of people who want to capitalize on Franco’s oddities, and Ernesto is kept busy fending off a crooked lawyer, the Russian mafia, and a doctor who sees Franco’s surgical potential as his ticket to medical glory. The wildly improbable twists and turns of the story are grounded in the all-too-real egocentricity of Rubenstein’s characters. By turns tragic and hilarious, Rubenstein has given us a story about what it means to be a family, about the fine line between exceptional and bizarre, and about the truth that what is grotesque in this life has little to do with outward appearance and everything to do with personal ambition and greed. Danny Shanahan’s simple line drawings that precede each chapter accentuate the wacky charm of this first novel.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently watched that movie with the owls. Legend of the Guardians. I feel about that movie the same as I feel about this book and that is: Why does this exist? What is the point? Why am I experiencing this type of entertainment right now? Or am I in some kind of rut where I just can't find a purpose?

Okay yeah, this book could be saying Just be yourself! and Don't conform! I hear it saying a number of things but is it enough? Nuh uh. There is something missing here.

I laughed a lot while reading this. I mean I busted a gut. Venus says the funniest things. So for the laughs, I give it 3 stars. But there seem to be too many characters here and they just drop off after we are subjected to reading many pages about their lives. It felt like time wasted at the end. And it just ends. I think I get what he was going for with ending it the way he did but I felt nothing like what I imagine I should have been feeling.

This book is just strange.

[Kaion · Rating 1 out of 5]

The fanciful premise outlined in the inside side flap intrigued me, but ultimately this novel didn't amount to much of anything. The author's attempts at creating a supposedly vivid New York instead felt labored and calculating attempts at mimicking the style of much better writers.

Key to any tragedy, I think, is sympathy with the characters experiencing said tragedy. Key to any comedy is internal logic and uncomfortable realism of situations to reality. The characters here are never allowed to grow beyond the limits of their conception within grotesque caricature, and thus their actions do not amount to any emotional impact, positive or negative. Furthermore, the disparate narrative strands linger and fail to weave together the convergence of intentions (of greed, of hope, of ambition), or yield any painfully true moments out of exaggerated circumstances. Rating: 1/5 stars

[Ben · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book based on the 5 star reviews on Amazon. I now know that this is a mistake with obscure books. In retrospect, it seemed like the review by "Lee Biddle" was penned by the author. This book was tedious and depressing. I didn't find the diarrhea porn "humor" very funny, even though I found the digestive crudeness in "Confederacy of Dunces" hilarious. It seemed like the author was trying to take other writers ideas to the next level, and it just didn't work. There were way too many pathetic characters who sucked the life out of any narrative flow that might have existed. I wanted to root for a character, but none was particularly sympathetic, even the self absorbed Gullboy.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

A first novel with some promise. It's a pretty bizarre premise--Gullboy is conceived by a female gull swallowing a condom with human sperm in it. Yeah, the biology isn't exactly believable, but this is very speculative fiction here. The setting is well-drawn--Coney Island in all its spectacle. This is something of a cynical, humorous look at how some misfits will do anything to fit it.

[Jade · Rating 1 out of 5]

As the adage goes, the person you learn the most about from a novel is its author. This book paints a pretty sad portrait of Mr. Rubenstein. Most of the content is lifted from the writing of far superior authors, and the few original thoughts would not be worthy of a self published short story. Easy to understand why the publisher bit the dust shortly after this bomb went to press.

[Nikku · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun magical realist book set in Coney Island and involves an interesting bunch of characters (quite a few cliches, but fun ones at least) who are both changed and unchanged by the extraordinary boy that is also a bird who is a part of their lives.

[H R Koelling · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an OK book. I expected more. I felt bad for Franco. I felt bad for everyone in the book. I like funny uplifting books and so this book didn't really do it for me.

[Carter Johns · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good story, lots of things happened, but the dialogue was jarringly terrible.