Etal Adnan makes it very clear that the name for her novel came to her after reading William Gass’s “In the heart of the heart of the country.” Gass’s work consists of five short stories that revolve around loneliness, isolation and lost love in and about the fictional town of B, Indiana. However, Etal’s story is more complicated than William’s. While Gass pronounces homesickness for the town of B Indiana, Etal is struggling through an exile from Lebanon to California, a later exile from California to Lebanon and then another exile to California. In her story, Etal always feels “exiled from my former exile” (4).
So many sections of the book called out to me. I underlined line after line until I realized I would be underlining the entire book! But here are some of my favorite parts:
under Education page p. 26
“I love my roses: they tell me that love comes with thorns,
which I wish I had known sooner.
But God forbid that I will go to roses for an education.”
under Business pg. 27
“They need a change they will tell you;
if it’s impossible to move into a new house (or a new morality)
then move away from your old appearance…”
under Politics pg. 32
“From ashes of the physical heart memories rise with a life of their own and that’s what people call ‘voices.’”
under Education pg. 33
“Thinking wouldn’t function w/o memory, for even the present is memory aware of itself. We want memories to join the world, be objects to which we can return at will, and not what they are, electronic images, ephemeral waves, uncertain visitations from the past, ever-new creations of our brain.
That’s probably why (as a species) we invented writing: to gratify ourselves with the illusion—and the comfort—that certain things, certain mental operations will be arrested in their becoming and turned into stored, refrigerated materials.”
All of these lines are within a ten-page range of each other. The first quote on pg. 26 I love simply for its truth and beauty.
The latter three focus on our obsession with the past. We seek change and if we cannot find it, we change what we can. But in doing so we are not using our potential to the fullest, which Etal knows and mocks. It is certainly within our realm of possibility to change our house or morality. But why do we want to change? Changing implies starting from anew, but as Etal says, we cannot function without memory, can never start anew because even trying to will create a memory. And yet, our concept of memories is an illusion. They are not boxes calmly waiting to be opened when needed. They are emotions and feelings that constantly interact with our present, thus we even in our present we are not relieved of our past