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Lumberjacked
If you are easily offended or do not possess a truly depraved sense of humor, this story may not be the light summer reading fare you desire. As for the four feisty female freshmen stranded on top of West Virginia's third highest mountain, they have no choice but to experience the sick, twisted debauchery and perverted mayhem described deep inside the tight unbroken bindings of this horrific missive.Lumberjacked takes the reader to a nightmarish world where character development and aesthetic integrity are prematurely cut short by the swinging axes of maniacal lumberjacks, who are hell bent on death and destruction in the remote forests of Appalachia.And at the climax, when paranoia crosses over to the paranormal, Lumberjacked makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley.
- GenresHorrorBizarro Fiction
310 pages, Paperback
First published September 4, 2010
2 people are currently reading
150 people want to read
About the author
Rich Bottles Jr.
23 books40 followersAfter an unillustrious print journalism career in southwestern Pennsylvania, Rich Bottles Jr. moved to West Virginia at the age of 32 to pursue a career in technical writing. He spends his free time visiting and hiking at the many state parks in the Mountain State, which is also where he develops the concepts for his novels.
Rich recently completed a trilogy of WV-themed "humorrorotica," which includes the novels “Lumberjacked,” “Hellhole West Virginia” and “The Manacled.”
In addition to editing and contributing to the Burning Bulb Publishing anthologies “Westward Hoes” and “The Big Book of Bizarro,” he has also written stories for the StrangeHouse Books anthologies “Strange Sex,” "A Very StrangeHouse Christmas," "Strange Versus Lovecraft," "Strange Fucking Stories" and “Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang!”
He is currently working on a horror novel set in West Virginia’s Amish Country.
His only regret in life is that his out-of-state secondary school education prohibited him from earning West Virginia's prestigious Golden Horseshoe Award.
Rich recently completed a trilogy of WV-themed "humorrorotica," which includes the novels “Lumberjacked,” “Hellhole West Virginia” and “The Manacled.”
In addition to editing and contributing to the Burning Bulb Publishing anthologies “Westward Hoes” and “The Big Book of Bizarro,” he has also written stories for the StrangeHouse Books anthologies “Strange Sex,” "A Very StrangeHouse Christmas," "Strange Versus Lovecraft," "Strange Fucking Stories" and “Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang!”
He is currently working on a horror novel set in West Virginia’s Amish Country.
His only regret in life is that his out-of-state secondary school education prohibited him from earning West Virginia's prestigious Golden Horseshoe Award.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 15, 2010
Deliciously demented to say the least - two enthusiastic thumbs up!
To say that Lumberjacked is a page-turner is an understatement. It is a very sick, but very funny novel (if that makes sense) with highly-charged sexual scenes that would make Penthouse proud. It takes dark situations and splashes humor (and sex) at just the right moment.
It is a fascinating journey, exploiting stereotypes and situations that you sometimes suspect in your dark subconscious mind might (or could) happen and when you read Lumberjacked you find yourself saying "He's not really going to go there with the story, is he?" Oh, yes, he does!
Rich Bottles Jr does an incredible job tying in past, present, and future events in this story and a well-researched piece. It is a very clever book and one of the few that I actually reread immediately upon finishing it. The book is not dry, that's for sure. Is it a story about an old town in West Virginia, a handful of crazed lumberjacks, a train station manager, a sorority, or that of a college freshman? How are their lives connected? I won't put a spoiler in here, Dear Reader, that's for you to find out.
As for me, Lumberjacked is erotica-meets horror-meets gut-busting comedy all wrapped into one. It is an exciting read, but keep an open mind because it's explicit, gritty, and most of all, jaw dropping and axe grinding. Enjoy the ride!
To say that Lumberjacked is a page-turner is an understatement. It is a very sick, but very funny novel (if that makes sense) with highly-charged sexual scenes that would make Penthouse proud. It takes dark situations and splashes humor (and sex) at just the right moment.
It is a fascinating journey, exploiting stereotypes and situations that you sometimes suspect in your dark subconscious mind might (or could) happen and when you read Lumberjacked you find yourself saying "He's not really going to go there with the story, is he?" Oh, yes, he does!
Rich Bottles Jr does an incredible job tying in past, present, and future events in this story and a well-researched piece. It is a very clever book and one of the few that I actually reread immediately upon finishing it. The book is not dry, that's for sure. Is it a story about an old town in West Virginia, a handful of crazed lumberjacks, a train station manager, a sorority, or that of a college freshman? How are their lives connected? I won't put a spoiler in here, Dear Reader, that's for you to find out.
As for me, Lumberjacked is erotica-meets horror-meets gut-busting comedy all wrapped into one. It is an exciting read, but keep an open mind because it's explicit, gritty, and most of all, jaw dropping and axe grinding. Enjoy the ride!
September 21, 2011
I was almost afraid to read this book...not because of the warning on the back cover, but because it is so hard to find good authors that write about West Virgina without following some kind of weird, redneck, incestual storyline. So, during the first chapter, I found myself getting pissed off, feeling like this was going to be another poorly written Appalachian horror story. However, throughout chapters 2-5, I became VERY pleasantly surprised at Bottles' use of an intricate plotline, complete with jumping back and forth between time periods, and interesting foreshadowing. I was quite excited to have such a talented author living so close to me!!!
April 20, 2011
As it clearly states on the back cover "Don't Read This Book ... If you are easily offended or do not possess a truly depraved sense of humor."
I must fall into the category of people who are not easily offended and who have a depraved sense of humor because I found Lumberjacked both over the top, and still somewhat disturbing. The disturbing part isn't the violence or the sex as much as the thought that the West Virginia depicted in this work is unfortunately not distant enough from our own world for comfort. The humor is there mixed in with the erotic and the horrific, but it is very much a gallows kind of humor frequently seen among law enforcement, soldiers, and emergency workers trying to survive the worst mankind can do itself. I wish I could say that much of this work doesn't ring true to humanity at its worst, but Mr. Bottles has a sharp eye for both the humorous and the tragic, both of which are depicted in plenty in this story.
I was pleased that the author managed to pull off a couple of unanticipated twists in the story quite effectively. I saw all the patterns, but missed the inevitable connections until it was revealed by the author. There was a nice use of foreshadowing as well. I'm looking forward to reading the next works of the author.
I must fall into the category of people who are not easily offended and who have a depraved sense of humor because I found Lumberjacked both over the top, and still somewhat disturbing. The disturbing part isn't the violence or the sex as much as the thought that the West Virginia depicted in this work is unfortunately not distant enough from our own world for comfort. The humor is there mixed in with the erotic and the horrific, but it is very much a gallows kind of humor frequently seen among law enforcement, soldiers, and emergency workers trying to survive the worst mankind can do itself. I wish I could say that much of this work doesn't ring true to humanity at its worst, but Mr. Bottles has a sharp eye for both the humorous and the tragic, both of which are depicted in plenty in this story.
I was pleased that the author managed to pull off a couple of unanticipated twists in the story quite effectively. I saw all the patterns, but missed the inevitable connections until it was revealed by the author. There was a nice use of foreshadowing as well. I'm looking forward to reading the next works of the author.
August 18, 2011
Lumberjacked is a wild, quick ride. Nothing is held back in this novel. Nothing is off limits. For someone who does not find much of anything offensive, this is about as close to offensive as it gets. This of course is a good thing. The story centers around a regioned more than certain characters. Sure there are the sorority girls, a fortune teller, a lowly manager of a historic attraction, and lumberjacks. All of these people are knotted into a crazy, bloody, gory, sexy mess. This makes the novel fast paced, funny, and definately cringe-worthy.
The aspect that I really enjoyed the most is that the story is not linear, that it has sections about the past, the future, and the present. The future chapter really made me scratch my head a little, but by the end, the events were explained brilliantly.
This is a very amusing, entertaining book. The only fault in all of it that I could find is that the taglines of the dialogue are somewhat irritating. It might be my personal taste, my preferece for not having dialogue tags the reitterates what the person had already said, but I found myself skipping every one of them by the end of the book. Even still, this does not distract too much from the great story, and Lumberjacked is well worth the time.
The aspect that I really enjoyed the most is that the story is not linear, that it has sections about the past, the future, and the present. The future chapter really made me scratch my head a little, but by the end, the events were explained brilliantly.
This is a very amusing, entertaining book. The only fault in all of it that I could find is that the taglines of the dialogue are somewhat irritating. It might be my personal taste, my preferece for not having dialogue tags the reitterates what the person had already said, but I found myself skipping every one of them by the end of the book. Even still, this does not distract too much from the great story, and Lumberjacked is well worth the time.
April 15, 2014
A fun, comedic homage to everything that makes a supernatural slasher entertaining. Rick Bottles Jr has a unique voice that is hilarious and creepy (like a clown). He delivers a tale that is unlike anything I have ever read, however if offers a familiar approach to the horror novels. He is a master of the craft!
August 29, 2014
Ridiculously twisted, just the way I like it. If you like laughing out loud at gross stuff, this book is for you. No matter who you are or where you're from, you will be able to find at least one character in here that will remind you of somebody you met once that annoyed the crap out of you. And you can delight in their gory demise.
September 8, 2011
Lumberjacked is filled with action, horror, gore and intimate encounters. What more could a reader want? Rich, you are a dirty, dirty man! I kinda like it :)
February 21, 2014
This was highly entertaining. I found it funny and the horror was in the vein of Friday the thirteenth. This is definitely a must read for fans of Carlton Mellick III.
June 8, 2011
The back of the book does in fact warn you not to read this if you are one of those easily offended types. But if you are able to enjoy freely and open-mindedly, then I would recommend this book to you.
Essentially, ‘Lumberjacked’ starts out with a really repressed and impoverished sort of father-daughter relationship. When Melissa goes off to college, she experiences the freedom of exploration that most youths cannot wait for when escaping from the binds of family. As Melissa and her dorm full of distinctly different and cultural characters explore themselves via a distorted sorority, they become caught in a horror story that is ages old.
This book has moments that make you ask, ‘Did that really just happen? Did she really just say that?’ But the open-minded crowd will be more amused by these unnatural situations that make you think- Where on earth did the author think of this? This adds a degree of uniqueness to the depravity. There are several stories going on at once and some really strange twists to chew over. If you want a quick read that will entertain you with much traumatizing imagery, then dive in, but be sure to be prepared!
Essentially, ‘Lumberjacked’ starts out with a really repressed and impoverished sort of father-daughter relationship. When Melissa goes off to college, she experiences the freedom of exploration that most youths cannot wait for when escaping from the binds of family. As Melissa and her dorm full of distinctly different and cultural characters explore themselves via a distorted sorority, they become caught in a horror story that is ages old.
This book has moments that make you ask, ‘Did that really just happen? Did she really just say that?’ But the open-minded crowd will be more amused by these unnatural situations that make you think- Where on earth did the author think of this? This adds a degree of uniqueness to the depravity. There are several stories going on at once and some really strange twists to chew over. If you want a quick read that will entertain you with much traumatizing imagery, then dive in, but be sure to be prepared!
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews