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Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches
Discover the power of grace-based parenting with "Loving the Little Motherhood in the Trenches" by Rachel Jankovic. As a mother of seven, Jankovic understands firsthand the challenges and joys of raising passionate Jesus followers. This book is not a distant reflection on motherhood; it is a practical guide filled with Gospel principles and biblical wisdom to help you navigate the demanding yet rewarding journey of parenting. In "Loving the Little Years," Jankovic offers heartfelt encouragement for mothers who recognize that mothering young children is no easy task. Drawing from her own experiences, she shares insights for those moments when you feel motivated, discouraged, or weary. With grace-filled parenting and a focus on Gospel-based principles, Jankovic reveals the beauty and significance of this sacred calling. Published by Canon Press, a trusted source of Christian parenting books, this inspiring guide invites you to embrace the transformative power of faith in your everyday life. Whether you're seeking guidance on grace-based discipline or searching for biblical parenting insights for toddlers, "Loving the Little Years" equips you to nurture your children while nurturing your own soul. At Canon Press, we believe that reformation and revival start with a faithful commitment to the Gospel. We are dedicated to providing resources that encourage Christian living, contentment, healthy marriages, educational choices, and more. Our mission is to equip you with the tools and knowledge to walk as a mother with God, fostering a vibrant and loving home where Gospel values flourish. Join the community of grace-based Christian parents and embark on a transformative journey of loving and raising your little ones. "Loving the Little Motherhood in the Trenches" is a beacon of hope, guiding you to discover the profound joy that comes from embracing a grace-filled, Gospel-based approach to parenting.
104 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
560 people are currently reading
4250 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Jankovic
10 books507 followersRachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She graduated from New Saint Andrews College, but mostly reads cookbooks now to avoid story grip (being highly susceptible). She and her husband Luke have seven children who know how to party: Evangeline (13), Daphne (12), Chloe (10), Titus (10), and Blaire (8) and Shadrach (5), and Moses (2).
Rachel is the daughter of Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilson and the sister of N.D. Wilson.
Rachel is the daughter of Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilson and the sister of N.D. Wilson.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 911 reviews
September 19, 2012
3.5 stars
There were parts of this book that I loved! I thought she had some great advice, and there were definitely several points that I really needed to hear. I would like to re-read this book just to help me remember those points. She had some great thoughts: about having a joyful attitude and refusing to use the word overwhelmed, about disciplining with purpose to build kids up rather than tear them down, and about how we get frustrated with our kids' misbehaviors when we ourselves are misbehaving in the same way.
But then there were other parts of this short, essay-style book that were just not so great. I was left saying, "huh?" a couple of times. I felt like she worked too hard to make every point into an analogy, and it made the book kind of cheesy at times. For such a short book, it seems like she could have used her words more effectively in some places.
Also, the author describes herself as being "in the trenches" of motherhood. But I didn't feel like she was in the trenches with me. I felt like she had most everything figured out, and I most definitely don't. I think she did a good job of sharing her positive parenting tips, but she would have been easier to relate to if she included some stories about how she royally screwed up at times. Because I royally screw up every day as a parent, and it would be easier for me to take her advice if I knew we really were in the same boat.
There were parts of this book that I loved! I thought she had some great advice, and there were definitely several points that I really needed to hear. I would like to re-read this book just to help me remember those points. She had some great thoughts: about having a joyful attitude and refusing to use the word overwhelmed, about disciplining with purpose to build kids up rather than tear them down, and about how we get frustrated with our kids' misbehaviors when we ourselves are misbehaving in the same way.
But then there were other parts of this short, essay-style book that were just not so great. I was left saying, "huh?" a couple of times. I felt like she worked too hard to make every point into an analogy, and it made the book kind of cheesy at times. For such a short book, it seems like she could have used her words more effectively in some places.
Also, the author describes herself as being "in the trenches" of motherhood. But I didn't feel like she was in the trenches with me. I felt like she had most everything figured out, and I most definitely don't. I think she did a good job of sharing her positive parenting tips, but she would have been easier to relate to if she included some stories about how she royally screwed up at times. Because I royally screw up every day as a parent, and it would be easier for me to take her advice if I knew we really were in the same boat.
December 4, 2022
I'll be honest, I came into this book with some opinions (and differences) about the author. In some ways I was pleasantly surprised, though in all I couldn't recommend this book without some big caveats.
To start with the positives-
1. It's a short book, with very short chapters. I read it in one afternoon. I can see how this would be an asset for busy moms in between diaper changes and nursing sessions.
2. There were several pieces of practical parenting methods that I appreciated. I was even convicted on some things (like how we should be more patient with the messiness of children or how sometimes we react to a host of problems and narrow it on one child's action, that was in reality only a small offense, but seemed worse when taken as a whole).
Which brings me to my cons-
1. In this over 100 page book I counted three Scripture references. I was shocked by this, especially as this book is touted so heavily as such a great book for Christian mothers. Now nothing is wrong with reading books without scripture. Because of common grace we can glean a lot of wisdom from each other that doesn't necessarily need a verse citation (as I said there was some good practical advice). However, there were SO many opportunities to go deeper into offering true encouragement to moms with the truth of God's word that were missed, along with some troubling statements (I'll detail below) that were not found in scripture at all, which makes this troubling to me overall.
2. Piggybacking after the last point, when I completed this book I truly felt like I had only gotten a parenting motivational speech (and sometimes this can have it's place I suppose). I did not feel like it was a wholly Christ-centered book. This may be because of the lack of Scripture, but I think mostly I just felt like our union with Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit in enabling us as moms was non-existent. Apart from a couple comments, I felt this was severely lacking. I left wanting to be a better mom, but with no more encouragement to do so in the strength of Christ.
3. In one chapter, Rachel makes a very troubling statement that tells mom to find their identity in their husbands and children. While I think I kind of understood what she was trying to encourage women to do (not leave your family bc you're unhappy/want to find yourself) this statement was shocking and completely ungrounded in scripture. Our identity is in Christ (Gal. 2:20, 1Peter 2:9). There is a host of problems that come when we ground our identity in other people, which is unfortunately exactly what Rachel says we should do: "Your identity is to be found and resting in other people." Either Rachel is using a very wrong definition of the word identity, or we have a vastly different idea of what scripture teaches.
4. I found a few parts to be pretty contradictory of whether or not we are responsible for our children's morality. Earlier on she made some comments that how our children behave is evident we are doing a good or bad job as a mother. Later on, she says that we are only responsible for the branches that bear fruit and not where they land. I can agree with the fact that sure our kids' behavior can be a reflection of our parenting... But the way all this was tied up without much nuance or careful digging into scriptural truth on the manner could burden mothers that they can guarantee their children's fidelity to the faith- and we just can't do that. We can be faithful, but it's God who will work in their hearts, and that's what we want anyhow, not just outward conformity. Does Rachel think that? Yes, and in some ways she said as much, but some of the language and confusing examples muddy these waters.
5. Finally, in one chapter, Rachel discussed how she stopped using the word overwhelmed. She went on to say that the work the Lord has given her in her kids is something she shouldn't be overwhelmed and cry about... She then likened the reality to us telling our children to clean their room and the child laying on the floor saying I can't do it. This passage just really bothered me, because what a missed opportunity to proclaim the gospel to moms reading. For the gospel is exactly the fact that we ARE overwhelmed. We CAN'T do the work God has for us to do on our own. We need our Lord every step of the way. I agree we shouldn't roll over in defeat, but we absolutely should come to the Lord overwhelmed, moms. Oh how he longs for us to.
Overall I couldn't recommend this book without a lot of caveats. That being said, I know many moms who have read it, who probably skimmed past these concerns without thinking - because honestly I would have years ago too. So I get it, and I'm not going to go on a rampage against you if you liked the book, but if you're looking for one to give a new mom, there are so many other great, God-exalting options out there (Risen Motherhood, Parenting by Paul Tripp to name a couple)
To start with the positives-
1. It's a short book, with very short chapters. I read it in one afternoon. I can see how this would be an asset for busy moms in between diaper changes and nursing sessions.
2. There were several pieces of practical parenting methods that I appreciated. I was even convicted on some things (like how we should be more patient with the messiness of children or how sometimes we react to a host of problems and narrow it on one child's action, that was in reality only a small offense, but seemed worse when taken as a whole).
Which brings me to my cons-
1. In this over 100 page book I counted three Scripture references. I was shocked by this, especially as this book is touted so heavily as such a great book for Christian mothers. Now nothing is wrong with reading books without scripture. Because of common grace we can glean a lot of wisdom from each other that doesn't necessarily need a verse citation (as I said there was some good practical advice). However, there were SO many opportunities to go deeper into offering true encouragement to moms with the truth of God's word that were missed, along with some troubling statements (I'll detail below) that were not found in scripture at all, which makes this troubling to me overall.
2. Piggybacking after the last point, when I completed this book I truly felt like I had only gotten a parenting motivational speech (and sometimes this can have it's place I suppose). I did not feel like it was a wholly Christ-centered book. This may be because of the lack of Scripture, but I think mostly I just felt like our union with Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit in enabling us as moms was non-existent. Apart from a couple comments, I felt this was severely lacking. I left wanting to be a better mom, but with no more encouragement to do so in the strength of Christ.
3. In one chapter, Rachel makes a very troubling statement that tells mom to find their identity in their husbands and children. While I think I kind of understood what she was trying to encourage women to do (not leave your family bc you're unhappy/want to find yourself) this statement was shocking and completely ungrounded in scripture. Our identity is in Christ (Gal. 2:20, 1Peter 2:9). There is a host of problems that come when we ground our identity in other people, which is unfortunately exactly what Rachel says we should do: "Your identity is to be found and resting in other people." Either Rachel is using a very wrong definition of the word identity, or we have a vastly different idea of what scripture teaches.
4. I found a few parts to be pretty contradictory of whether or not we are responsible for our children's morality. Earlier on she made some comments that how our children behave is evident we are doing a good or bad job as a mother. Later on, she says that we are only responsible for the branches that bear fruit and not where they land. I can agree with the fact that sure our kids' behavior can be a reflection of our parenting... But the way all this was tied up without much nuance or careful digging into scriptural truth on the manner could burden mothers that they can guarantee their children's fidelity to the faith- and we just can't do that. We can be faithful, but it's God who will work in their hearts, and that's what we want anyhow, not just outward conformity. Does Rachel think that? Yes, and in some ways she said as much, but some of the language and confusing examples muddy these waters.
5. Finally, in one chapter, Rachel discussed how she stopped using the word overwhelmed. She went on to say that the work the Lord has given her in her kids is something she shouldn't be overwhelmed and cry about... She then likened the reality to us telling our children to clean their room and the child laying on the floor saying I can't do it. This passage just really bothered me, because what a missed opportunity to proclaim the gospel to moms reading. For the gospel is exactly the fact that we ARE overwhelmed. We CAN'T do the work God has for us to do on our own. We need our Lord every step of the way. I agree we shouldn't roll over in defeat, but we absolutely should come to the Lord overwhelmed, moms. Oh how he longs for us to.
Overall I couldn't recommend this book without a lot of caveats. That being said, I know many moms who have read it, who probably skimmed past these concerns without thinking - because honestly I would have years ago too. So I get it, and I'm not going to go on a rampage against you if you liked the book, but if you're looking for one to give a new mom, there are so many other great, God-exalting options out there (Risen Motherhood, Parenting by Paul Tripp to name a couple)
December 2, 2011
This book left me with very mixed feelings. I didn't just "like it" - I loved parts and hated parts. If I could, I'd give it 40% one star and 60% four to five stars, but will accept that we have to communicate in averages.
There were a lot of very practical points in the book. Some of the images and statements have really stuck with me. I like the concept of not being a "picky chicken" and tearing our family members down. This is a great principal for marriage too.
My two favorite points where that it's important to see that your child is growing and maturing, but it's easy to just move on to the next issue and not appreciate that progress. Or the next child has replaced that behavior and so it seems almost seamless. I also thought she had a great point about not treating your children in bulk. Just because the sum of everyone is craziness doesn't mean that one person is responsible, even if they have done something wrong. Good words. And I'd like to grown in my ability to absorb stress rather than throwing it right back.
But, along with this, I just really didn't think I liked the author. Through it all, I felt like they did a great job letting you know that her life was crazier than mine and she did a better job having a smile, laugh and gentle word amidst it all. I mean, did you know that she has five kids under six? My mere two children should be a cakewalk, but still, I have daily struggles. I don't have four girls (which means my life should be easy) and I don't have twins. I was left feeling rather invalid as a struggling mom - I'm not allowed to be overwhelmed. I'm not sure I need to read a book to reaffirm that. Maybe I could use some encouragement not to flounder in the struggle, but I could use some grace. And apparently I don't spank my kids enough.
I appreciate the brevity, and she made some really good points, I just couldn't recommend without some reservations.
There were a lot of very practical points in the book. Some of the images and statements have really stuck with me. I like the concept of not being a "picky chicken" and tearing our family members down. This is a great principal for marriage too.
My two favorite points where that it's important to see that your child is growing and maturing, but it's easy to just move on to the next issue and not appreciate that progress. Or the next child has replaced that behavior and so it seems almost seamless. I also thought she had a great point about not treating your children in bulk. Just because the sum of everyone is craziness doesn't mean that one person is responsible, even if they have done something wrong. Good words. And I'd like to grown in my ability to absorb stress rather than throwing it right back.
But, along with this, I just really didn't think I liked the author. Through it all, I felt like they did a great job letting you know that her life was crazier than mine and she did a better job having a smile, laugh and gentle word amidst it all. I mean, did you know that she has five kids under six? My mere two children should be a cakewalk, but still, I have daily struggles. I don't have four girls (which means my life should be easy) and I don't have twins. I was left feeling rather invalid as a struggling mom - I'm not allowed to be overwhelmed. I'm not sure I need to read a book to reaffirm that. Maybe I could use some encouragement not to flounder in the struggle, but I could use some grace. And apparently I don't spank my kids enough.
I appreciate the brevity, and she made some really good points, I just couldn't recommend without some reservations.
February 12, 2023
The older I get and the older my children get, the more deer the advice in this book becomes to me. A regular reread for years now.
June 22, 2012
"It was okay" was honestly the best review I could give.
As parenting books go, it just doesn't bring a lot to the table.
It feels more like a collection of blog posts...the kind written late at night that don't always make as much sense when the writer reads them back the next day.
Lots of anecdotes and metaphors, not a lot of practical tips or strategies.
The author also comes off as ultimately unrelateable, which is surprising, because you'd think a book by "mom in the trenches," should be VERY relatable. I should be crying out, "Me too!" at the end of each chapter, but instead I'm left feeling like, "Well, sort of, but not exactly."
If you want some short, daily devotional like passages to help you to be more Christian-minded in your parenting then this would be a good book for you to read.
If you need more than that, then there are literally dozens of books I could suggest that would be more helpful.
As parenting books go, it just doesn't bring a lot to the table.
It feels more like a collection of blog posts...the kind written late at night that don't always make as much sense when the writer reads them back the next day.
Lots of anecdotes and metaphors, not a lot of practical tips or strategies.
The author also comes off as ultimately unrelateable, which is surprising, because you'd think a book by "mom in the trenches," should be VERY relatable. I should be crying out, "Me too!" at the end of each chapter, but instead I'm left feeling like, "Well, sort of, but not exactly."
If you want some short, daily devotional like passages to help you to be more Christian-minded in your parenting then this would be a good book for you to read.
If you need more than that, then there are literally dozens of books I could suggest that would be more helpful.
September 7, 2022
Great short read for busy moms! I found this helpful to refocus on what really matters as I’ve been going through a rough season with my 2 yr old. It’s so easy to lose sight of the big picture!
📖 As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like and feels like to walk with God, as a mother.
📖 If the sins have changed, it can be a sign of growth. They are going to emerge from one set of problems into the next, and that is good.
📖 Correction is not a waste of time but rather a gift you are giving to your children.
📖 Keep an eye on the time when they will be free of your law-you want them to have learned to love God’s. ❤️
📖 Obedience leads to freedom and joy, it is the path of life.
There were a few minor parts that I disagreed with or felt were fluffy or not applicable to me.
📖 As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like and feels like to walk with God, as a mother.
📖 If the sins have changed, it can be a sign of growth. They are going to emerge from one set of problems into the next, and that is good.
📖 Correction is not a waste of time but rather a gift you are giving to your children.
📖 Keep an eye on the time when they will be free of your law-you want them to have learned to love God’s. ❤️
📖 Obedience leads to freedom and joy, it is the path of life.
There were a few minor parts that I disagreed with or felt were fluffy or not applicable to me.
August 14, 2025
Me gusta el “amor rudo” del libro (yo misma escribo con mucho “amor rudo”) pero me parece que le faltó MUCHÍSIMA gracia. Para alguien que tiene una buena idea del evangelio en la vida diaria, puede ser un excelente empujón y ánimo; para el que no, podría ser una gran condenación.
March 26, 2025
Amazing as always. Just continuing my perpetual rotation of favorite parenting books for the foreseeable future.
May 31, 2011
This little book of little chapters about little people was more than a little helpful. While dishing up some juicy ones about nursing twins while the ever helpful husband sleepwalks, and the like, the author encourages and points to important principles.
The encouragement is to take heart that your labor is not in vain. Rejoicing in the task before you is possible! You can be in the trenches (and the author knows them in depth), and not be overwhelmingly frazzled and frustrated.
Principles:
The author often assumes the reader understands these principles, and has learned them elsewhere. One place to go is “Shepherding a Child’s Heart,” by Tedd Tripp.
Guide your children out of sin, don’t simply stomp on them for sinning. I’m big on being careful not to over-correct when you see a problem. Many in the church today see sin taken lightly, and attempt to correct that with excessive discipline for their children’s sin. This is a recipe for exasperating children, which Scripture forbids. Spanking is not the silver bullet. Jankovic leans the other way. Often the best way to shepherd away from sin is to show them the freedom and joy of obedience, rather than merely punishing bad behavior.
Shepherd the heart. Don’t simply react to behavior. Show the deeper problem you’re rejecting. If they can’t share a toy, they are putting it before loving their neighbor. Keep it simple like that – no “who had it first?” “How long did you have it?” gymnastics, which only obscure the issue. Have few behavioral rules, to make mental space for the principles.
The power of personal example, and unintended consequences. If you only engage with your children when they sin, they learn things from that. If you grab their toy away and tell them not to grab toys, your direction is not clear. If you don’t repent of obvious harshness, and tell them to say they’re sorry for the slightest things, they are learning a lesson. A bad one, but they are learning. The darkness of little people sinning cannot overcome the light in the long run (John 1:5). It can do so in mom’s spirit, though. The victory of the light begins in mom’s attitude, when faced with sin. Parent with faith that God will use you to get them out of the sin. Be not dismayed at it. Disappointed, yes. Resolved to change it, yes. But not cast down.
The encouragement is to take heart that your labor is not in vain. Rejoicing in the task before you is possible! You can be in the trenches (and the author knows them in depth), and not be overwhelmingly frazzled and frustrated.
Principles:
The author often assumes the reader understands these principles, and has learned them elsewhere. One place to go is “Shepherding a Child’s Heart,” by Tedd Tripp.
Guide your children out of sin, don’t simply stomp on them for sinning. I’m big on being careful not to over-correct when you see a problem. Many in the church today see sin taken lightly, and attempt to correct that with excessive discipline for their children’s sin. This is a recipe for exasperating children, which Scripture forbids. Spanking is not the silver bullet. Jankovic leans the other way. Often the best way to shepherd away from sin is to show them the freedom and joy of obedience, rather than merely punishing bad behavior.
Shepherd the heart. Don’t simply react to behavior. Show the deeper problem you’re rejecting. If they can’t share a toy, they are putting it before loving their neighbor. Keep it simple like that – no “who had it first?” “How long did you have it?” gymnastics, which only obscure the issue. Have few behavioral rules, to make mental space for the principles.
The power of personal example, and unintended consequences. If you only engage with your children when they sin, they learn things from that. If you grab their toy away and tell them not to grab toys, your direction is not clear. If you don’t repent of obvious harshness, and tell them to say they’re sorry for the slightest things, they are learning a lesson. A bad one, but they are learning. The darkness of little people sinning cannot overcome the light in the long run (John 1:5). It can do so in mom’s spirit, though. The victory of the light begins in mom’s attitude, when faced with sin. Parent with faith that God will use you to get them out of the sin. Be not dismayed at it. Disappointed, yes. Resolved to change it, yes. But not cast down.
April 8, 2015
I would have rated it higher except for the chapter where the author says that if, as a mother, you feel like you're losing yourself, you shouldn't spend time selfishly on yourself, but seek your identity in your husband and your children. The way that passage was written rubbed me the wrong way. Shouldn't I find my identity in Christ? I am more than just a wife and mother, and I don't need to be shamed into ignoring the whole of my being to just focus on these 2 parts of me. There were many parts of this book that I did like and the author offered up some good food-for-thought with parenting girls, but the tone of the book made me think the author and I would not see eye to eye on many things.
March 23, 2022
This book had some helpful tips; some I probably won’t forget. However, the author’s voice came across mainly as fear-based to me. I would never recommend this book to another mom because I would be too worried about her feeling shame from reading it. The only reason I finished it is because I spent $6 on it for my Kindle, whereas I normally get books for free from Libby. I might be biased because I’m someone who cringes at the word “spanking” being thrown around casually… but if you can’t tell, I did not enjoy this author’s voice.
June 30, 2025
A must read for mothers and mothers to be.
November 23, 2024
A Call to Parental Joy!
I would recommend this to my wife if she hadn't already read it. This book is a powerful reminder to take joy and responsibility in the work of parenting. This is geared and written to mothers but I still took away several helpful things.
I would recommend this to my wife if she hadn't already read it. This book is a powerful reminder to take joy and responsibility in the work of parenting. This is geared and written to mothers but I still took away several helpful things.
July 16, 2021
I read this as a devotional supplement, and I really loved it! It’s a tiny book, written in short, bite-sized chapters- perfect for a mama with any number of littles. Packed with wisdom, personal insight and experience, friendly suggestions, and God’s grace, “Loving the Little Years” met me right where I am, helped me focus on my job and privilege at this moment, and how to dream of the future in a practical way. I would rate this book 4 1/2 stars, but you can’t do half stars on Goodreads (unfortunately). Minus half a star because there were a few times it felt like the author forgot she was talking to a fellow mom and thought she was talking with a toddler, which was a little off-putting, and because there were a couple minor points I didn’t agree with. But it was very minor stuff, hence the half star.
I highly recommend this book to moms and dads alike! Some great stuff here.
I highly recommend this book to moms and dads alike! Some great stuff here.
April 27, 2019
4.5 stars
This is a very short book with short chapters. I appreciated this format!
I gleaned some great parenting ideas and encouragement from this book.
I recommend this book to any mom with 3 or more kids, but even a new momma can gain good parenting advice here.
Here is one lesson I learned: 20 minutes . When you are overwhelmed (blow-out diaper, hungry kids, child just got hurt, etc.), look at the clock and think, "This will be over in 20 minutes." If you work hard, not dragging your feet and feeling bad for yourself, you can clean up that mess, put together lunch, put on a band-aid, etc. in 20 minutes or less.
This is a very short book with short chapters. I appreciated this format!
I gleaned some great parenting ideas and encouragement from this book.
I recommend this book to any mom with 3 or more kids, but even a new momma can gain good parenting advice here.
Here is one lesson I learned: 20 minutes . When you are overwhelmed (blow-out diaper, hungry kids, child just got hurt, etc.), look at the clock and think, "This will be over in 20 minutes." If you work hard, not dragging your feet and feeling bad for yourself, you can clean up that mess, put together lunch, put on a band-aid, etc. in 20 minutes or less.
April 19, 2024
2024-Still love this book!
2023-What a sweet, easy, and quick read. I’m not a mother, but I do nanny full time. The practical application from this book was a knock to the head! Rachel has been very gracious in sharing learned faithfulness in raising children. One thing that will truly keep anybody humble is that most often it’s you that needs a heart and attitude check. Overall, these stories are just more examples of how obedience to the Lord is an everyday process of sanctification.
2023-What a sweet, easy, and quick read. I’m not a mother, but I do nanny full time. The practical application from this book was a knock to the head! Rachel has been very gracious in sharing learned faithfulness in raising children. One thing that will truly keep anybody humble is that most often it’s you that needs a heart and attitude check. Overall, these stories are just more examples of how obedience to the Lord is an everyday process of sanctification.
July 31, 2018
Wish I would’ve read this one sooner!
July 11, 2024
“Fat souls are better than clean floors.”
Now, Loving the Little Years is for a niche audience: it is written to mothers in the throes of toddlerhood (which I am) whose primary responsibility during the day is discipling said toddler (which mine is). With that said, let me tell you this book was full of wisdom and insight. A bit haphazard in the delivery, but brimming with practical application, like: mom needs to check her own attitude first, just don’t keep track of how many hours you’re up in the night, and be quick to encourage your children, laughing all the way! This is one I will definitely revisit.
Now, Loving the Little Years is for a niche audience: it is written to mothers in the throes of toddlerhood (which I am) whose primary responsibility during the day is discipling said toddler (which mine is). With that said, let me tell you this book was full of wisdom and insight. A bit haphazard in the delivery, but brimming with practical application, like: mom needs to check her own attitude first, just don’t keep track of how many hours you’re up in the night, and be quick to encourage your children, laughing all the way! This is one I will definitely revisit.
January 1, 2020
Loved it. As a dad of little girls, I wonder how someone with boys would feel reading this and if they would find it as immensely relatable as I did. My wife is on the front lines but I can tell that the experience she communicates and the encouragements from this book come from a closely shared experience and struggle. Very well done.
June 13, 2014
There were many things I liked about this book, but it was missing some key elements.
I appreciated her frankness, and her acknowledgement that children are sinners who need to be taught repentance and given forgiveness. She has clearly been (and is) "in the the trenches" and offers some refreshing perspective and practical advice for day-to-day life with littles.
But, despite her emphasis on showing grace to our children, she does almost nothing to address the grace we all need as mothers. We all fail and we need forgiveness, too. And not just from our husbands and children! We need forgiveness from Christ. It is only by His grace we can model grace to our children. I heard a lot of law in her writing - what we must do to be a good/better mom - and, though I agreed with what she said, it wasn't balanced with the realistic expectation that we can't and won't be able to do these things all the time. There was a clear theme of repentance and forgiveness for the children, and it would have been so much better to have that more cleaely extended to mommy, too.
I appreciated her frankness, and her acknowledgement that children are sinners who need to be taught repentance and given forgiveness. She has clearly been (and is) "in the the trenches" and offers some refreshing perspective and practical advice for day-to-day life with littles.
But, despite her emphasis on showing grace to our children, she does almost nothing to address the grace we all need as mothers. We all fail and we need forgiveness, too. And not just from our husbands and children! We need forgiveness from Christ. It is only by His grace we can model grace to our children. I heard a lot of law in her writing - what we must do to be a good/better mom - and, though I agreed with what she said, it wasn't balanced with the realistic expectation that we can't and won't be able to do these things all the time. There was a clear theme of repentance and forgiveness for the children, and it would have been so much better to have that more cleaely extended to mommy, too.
August 28, 2014
Not something I particularly enjoyed reading. While I didn't necessarily disagree with what the author was saying, I didn't really agree with it either. I felt like the book was thrown together - something I could easily write if I was so inclined. Lots of strange metaphors that didn't make any sense. Lots of jumping around. Lots of examples from her life that seemed kind of thrown in for no real reason. Just because someone has five kids five and under, it doesn't mean they are a better parent than someone with one kid. Unfortunately, I kinda felt like she thought it did.
July 11, 2025
First read November 2020.
Reread November 2023. IYKYK.
Not as big a fan as I was the first read through. There are certainly some nuggets of wisdom but there were some things that left me saying “huh?” There is also the section on making your husband and children your identity. That’s a hard no for me. As Christian’s our identity is found in Christ.
Overall I don’t think I’d recommend this as there are probably better parenting books out there and there’s just too many bones in this one to justify “chewing the meat.”
Reread November 2023. IYKYK.
Not as big a fan as I was the first read through. There are certainly some nuggets of wisdom but there were some things that left me saying “huh?” There is also the section on making your husband and children your identity. That’s a hard no for me. As Christian’s our identity is found in Christ.
Overall I don’t think I’d recommend this as there are probably better parenting books out there and there’s just too many bones in this one to justify “chewing the meat.”
January 11, 2020
Perspective
As I read this book, holding my 8 week old while he naps (it's the only way right now) I was encouraged and convicted. It is a great reminder of our purpose as mothers. Our God-given reason for why we were created and blessed with little children; to bring them to the truth of the gospel and as they launch into society may they go with confidence and the tools needed to be truth bearers.
As I read this book, holding my 8 week old while he naps (it's the only way right now) I was encouraged and convicted. It is a great reminder of our purpose as mothers. Our God-given reason for why we were created and blessed with little children; to bring them to the truth of the gospel and as they launch into society may they go with confidence and the tools needed to be truth bearers.
June 4, 2020
FIRST READ: sometime in 2014
SECOND READ: read for a little summer after covid power boost
SECOND READ: read for a little summer after covid power boost
March 15, 2024
I was going to give it four stars and say, “feel like I should give it three stars” … so I just gave it three stars ahah. It was nice: short, wise, lots of word images to help you understand, and lots of examples of having children and how things go. But it gives off a, “here are my thoughts that I think and share with my friends” vibe instead of a, “this was a well-thought out biblical approach that I am writing clearly and succinctly” vibe. Not that it wasn’t unbiblical? Just not clearly outlined to be, and that’s okay, I have my own Bible, I think my own thoughts. I just didn’t love the structure of the book, I guess. Felt a little too thrown together, which, five little kids, makes sense.
September 10, 2024
Such a sweet book. I loved all of the stories about raising her children while including helpful advice on bringing up children in the ways of the Lord. A wonderful reminder on what a blessing and a joy it is to steward your children’s hearts well.
August 19, 2015
If any of my friends ever get pregnant, I will probably recommend two books: Bringing Up Bebe and this one. Bringing Up Bebe tells you it's okay to let go. Loving the Little Years tells you it's okay to press in.
When parenting gets hard (and it does even if you don't have five kids like the author), I don't want to press in. It's very easy to want to back up, demand time to myself, abscond. I think Rachel Jankovic has learned what I'm starting to realize: you don't solve fussy kids or stressful days by retreating; you solve them by getting even more involved. Almost every one of her chapters inspires you to press in, and the more I embrace it, the more I find it works.
It's also all about perspective shift. Having a hard day? She'll give you a refreshing, redemptive new way to think about it. Constant behavior problems with your kids? She gives you new, hope-filled approaches to try. I found it intensely practical, even if I didn't buy all her suggestions wholesale. Sometimes a new mindset is all it takes to get over that hump.
The book is unique in presentation. I often found myself calling the chapters blog posts. Most of them can be read in the time that it takes your husband to read Good Night Moon aloud to your kid. Almost every chapter is structured around metaphors: some that didn't reach me, others that really, really, really did. Her writing is so skillful that I felt sick if I read too much at once, like when you eat a whole bag of mini Reese's cups at once (just hypothetically, of course; not speaking from experience).
I didn't get the "my life is crazier than yours because I have five kids" vibe that a lot of the negative reviews mention. There wasn't one explicitly comparative statement in there. I think Jankovic is attempting to find common ground with an audience who bought a book subtitled "Motherhood in the Trenches." We picked it up because parenting can be crazy, right? She's saying she knows it's crazy. It's not her fault that she has five-kids-crazy and I only have two-kids-crazy. I, for one, am glad to glean some coping mechanisms from someone whose life is more chaotic than mine. If it works for her, I bet I can do it, too!
When parenting gets hard (and it does even if you don't have five kids like the author), I don't want to press in. It's very easy to want to back up, demand time to myself, abscond. I think Rachel Jankovic has learned what I'm starting to realize: you don't solve fussy kids or stressful days by retreating; you solve them by getting even more involved. Almost every one of her chapters inspires you to press in, and the more I embrace it, the more I find it works.
It's also all about perspective shift. Having a hard day? She'll give you a refreshing, redemptive new way to think about it. Constant behavior problems with your kids? She gives you new, hope-filled approaches to try. I found it intensely practical, even if I didn't buy all her suggestions wholesale. Sometimes a new mindset is all it takes to get over that hump.
The book is unique in presentation. I often found myself calling the chapters blog posts. Most of them can be read in the time that it takes your husband to read Good Night Moon aloud to your kid. Almost every chapter is structured around metaphors: some that didn't reach me, others that really, really, really did. Her writing is so skillful that I felt sick if I read too much at once, like when you eat a whole bag of mini Reese's cups at once (just hypothetically, of course; not speaking from experience).
I didn't get the "my life is crazier than yours because I have five kids" vibe that a lot of the negative reviews mention. There wasn't one explicitly comparative statement in there. I think Jankovic is attempting to find common ground with an audience who bought a book subtitled "Motherhood in the Trenches." We picked it up because parenting can be crazy, right? She's saying she knows it's crazy. It's not her fault that she has five-kids-crazy and I only have two-kids-crazy. I, for one, am glad to glean some coping mechanisms from someone whose life is more chaotic than mine. If it works for her, I bet I can do it, too!
August 9, 2013
Some Pros:
-Good suggestion to set behaviors into stories. For example, if a boy is hitting a sister, “tell him about a brave knight who went out to fight the dragon but started hitting the princess instead.”
-Comparing our emotions to horses¸ “The horses are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with the emotions . . . The goal is not to cripple the horse, but equip the rider. A well-controlled personality is a powerful thing. That is what dangerous women are made of.”
The Big Con (no double meaning intended!):
There is just too much talk about children misbehaving because they are “sinning.” Just one of *many* examples is the following:
“God treats us with kindness as we fail daily. He takes the long view of our sin . . . It is easy for us to accept this, because our sins are, well, ours. But our children sin against us, annoy us, and mess up our stuff. We want to hold it against them, complain about them, and feel put upon by their sin. We have a much harder time accepting that every failure from them is a wonderful opportunity for repentance and growth. It is not an opportunity for us to exact penance.”
It’s not that I think Jankovic is completely wrong in her approach; I actually agree with the last 2 sentences in the above paragraph. It’s just that I can’t get on board with calling small children’s misbehaviors “sins,” and she continues to do this throughout. I wonder if that’s my own secular cultural bias? It really detracts from the book for me, but if you can overlook it there are some good nuggets here and there. I would be interested to hear others’ thoughts . . .
Note: I am also VERY put off by all the "sin" language in Don't Make Me Count to Three. So much so I am not sure I will be able to finish it.
-Good suggestion to set behaviors into stories. For example, if a boy is hitting a sister, “tell him about a brave knight who went out to fight the dragon but started hitting the princess instead.”
-Comparing our emotions to horses¸ “The horses are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with the emotions . . . The goal is not to cripple the horse, but equip the rider. A well-controlled personality is a powerful thing. That is what dangerous women are made of.”
The Big Con (no double meaning intended!):
There is just too much talk about children misbehaving because they are “sinning.” Just one of *many* examples is the following:
“God treats us with kindness as we fail daily. He takes the long view of our sin . . . It is easy for us to accept this, because our sins are, well, ours. But our children sin against us, annoy us, and mess up our stuff. We want to hold it against them, complain about them, and feel put upon by their sin. We have a much harder time accepting that every failure from them is a wonderful opportunity for repentance and growth. It is not an opportunity for us to exact penance.”
It’s not that I think Jankovic is completely wrong in her approach; I actually agree with the last 2 sentences in the above paragraph. It’s just that I can’t get on board with calling small children’s misbehaviors “sins,” and she continues to do this throughout. I wonder if that’s my own secular cultural bias? It really detracts from the book for me, but if you can overlook it there are some good nuggets here and there. I would be interested to hear others’ thoughts . . .
Note: I am also VERY put off by all the "sin" language in Don't Make Me Count to Three. So much so I am not sure I will be able to finish it.
April 16, 2012
This is one of those books that you read over and over again. It makes you laugh and moan and maybe cry too :)
“Sometimes parents can discipline behaviors over and over and over like we are playing whack-a-mole. There is a sin! Get it! This can get very frustrating when it doesn’t seem to be helping anything. We think we are being so diligent! But the real problem is that the child doesn’t know what to do with it.
…Little girls need help sorting out their emotions–not so they can wallow in them, but so they can learn to control them..
We tell our girls that their feelings are like horses– beautiful, spirited horses. But they are the riders. We tell them that God gave them this horse when they were born, and they will ride it their whole life… When our emotions act up, it is like the horse trying to jump the fence and run down into a yucky place… horses are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with the emotions. If we have a little rider who is woefully unprepared to control her horse, well then, we had better start with some pretty serious riding lessons.
Little girls can be scared out of their minds when their emotions charge off with them. They need the security of parents pulling them back.
The goal is not to cripple the horse, but equip the rider…runaway horses can be a very real threat to your little girl.” (Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic p.29-30)
“Sometimes parents can discipline behaviors over and over and over like we are playing whack-a-mole. There is a sin! Get it! This can get very frustrating when it doesn’t seem to be helping anything. We think we are being so diligent! But the real problem is that the child doesn’t know what to do with it.
…Little girls need help sorting out their emotions–not so they can wallow in them, but so they can learn to control them..
We tell our girls that their feelings are like horses– beautiful, spirited horses. But they are the riders. We tell them that God gave them this horse when they were born, and they will ride it their whole life… When our emotions act up, it is like the horse trying to jump the fence and run down into a yucky place… horses are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with the emotions. If we have a little rider who is woefully unprepared to control her horse, well then, we had better start with some pretty serious riding lessons.
Little girls can be scared out of their minds when their emotions charge off with them. They need the security of parents pulling them back.
The goal is not to cripple the horse, but equip the rider…runaway horses can be a very real threat to your little girl.” (Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic p.29-30)
May 25, 2025
Read April/May 2025- five stars
I am always so encouraged by Rachel Jankovic. It was challenging and convicting to read even before I had kiddos. Now that I have two littles, I reached for this book knowing that it would encourage and spur me on in this hard, important, purposeful, and exhausting work of motherhood. It didn’t disappoint.
From the chapter titled Me Time:
“First of all, our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dinted body. Motherhood uses your body in the way God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages.”
Throughout the book, Jankovic points back to gratitude as a foundational element of faithful living (not just as a mother). I can never be reminded to be grateful too much.
Read April 2023- five stars no review.
I am always so encouraged by Rachel Jankovic. It was challenging and convicting to read even before I had kiddos. Now that I have two littles, I reached for this book knowing that it would encourage and spur me on in this hard, important, purposeful, and exhausting work of motherhood. It didn’t disappoint.
From the chapter titled Me Time:
“First of all, our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dinted body. Motherhood uses your body in the way God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages.”
Throughout the book, Jankovic points back to gratitude as a foundational element of faithful living (not just as a mother). I can never be reminded to be grateful too much.
Read April 2023- five stars no review.
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