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Past Loving
Why Had He Returned?
It was over ten years ago since Holly, a naive girl still in her teens, had fallen for Robert Graham and had assumed that his intentions were more long-term than just an affair. She had been bitterly disillusioned. Robert had no intention of marrying before he had made his way in life, and had callously abandoned Holly in search of pastures new.
Now he was back in town and apparently willing to pick up their relationship where he had left off. But Holly had other ideas…
It was over ten years ago since Holly, a naive girl still in her teens, had fallen for Robert Graham and had assumed that his intentions were more long-term than just an affair. She had been bitterly disillusioned. Robert had no intention of marrying before he had made his way in life, and had callously abandoned Holly in search of pastures new.
Now he was back in town and apparently willing to pick up their relationship where he had left off. But Holly had other ideas…
224 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 1, 1992
17 people are currently reading
151 people want to read
About the author
Penny Jordan
1,137 books672 followersPenelope Jones Halsall
aka Caroline Courtney, Annie Groves, Lydia Hitchcock, Melinda Wright
Penelope "Penny" Jones was born on November 24, 1946 at about seven pounds in a nursing home in Preston, Lancashire, England. She was the first child of Anthony Winn Jones, an engineer, who died at 85, and his wife Margaret Louise Groves Jones. She has a brother, Anthony, and a sister, Prudence "Pru".
She had been a keen reader from the childhood - her mother used to leave her in the children's section of their local library whilst she changed her father's library books. She was a storyteller long before she began to write romantic fiction. At the age of eight, she was creating serialized bedtime stories, featuring make-believe adventures, for her younger sister Prue, who was always the heroine. At eleven, she fell in love with Mills & Boon, and with their heroes. In those days the books could only be obtained via private lending libraries, and she quickly became a devoted fan; she was thrilled to bits when the books went on full sale in shops and she could have them for keeps.
Penny left grammar school in Rochdale with O-Levels in English Language, English Literature and Geography. She first discovered Mills & Boon books, via a girl she worked with. She married Steve Halsall, an accountant and a "lovely man", who smoked and drank too heavily, and suffered oral cancer with bravery and dignity. Her husband bought her the small electric typewriter on which she typed her first novels, at a time when he could ill afford it. He died at the beginning of 21st century.
She earned a living as a writer since the 1970s when, as a shorthand typist, she entered a competition run by the Romantic Novelists' Association. Although she didn't win, Penny found an agent who was looking for a new Georgette Heyer. She published four regency novels as Caroline Courtney, before changing her nom de plume to Melinda Wright for three air-hostess romps and then she wrote two thrillers as Lydia Hitchcock. Soon after that, Mills and Boon accepted her first novel for them, Falcon's Prey as Penny Jordan. However, for her more historical romance novels, she adopted her mother's maiden-name to become Annie Groves. Almost 70 of her 167 Mills and Boon novels have been sold worldwide.
Penny Halsall lived in a neo-Georgian house in Nantwich, Cheshire, with her Alsatian Sheba and cat Posh. She worked from home, in her kitchen, surrounded by her pets, and welcomed interruptions from her friends and family.
aka Caroline Courtney, Annie Groves, Lydia Hitchcock, Melinda Wright
Penelope "Penny" Jones was born on November 24, 1946 at about seven pounds in a nursing home in Preston, Lancashire, England. She was the first child of Anthony Winn Jones, an engineer, who died at 85, and his wife Margaret Louise Groves Jones. She has a brother, Anthony, and a sister, Prudence "Pru".
She had been a keen reader from the childhood - her mother used to leave her in the children's section of their local library whilst she changed her father's library books. She was a storyteller long before she began to write romantic fiction. At the age of eight, she was creating serialized bedtime stories, featuring make-believe adventures, for her younger sister Prue, who was always the heroine. At eleven, she fell in love with Mills & Boon, and with their heroes. In those days the books could only be obtained via private lending libraries, and she quickly became a devoted fan; she was thrilled to bits when the books went on full sale in shops and she could have them for keeps.
Penny left grammar school in Rochdale with O-Levels in English Language, English Literature and Geography. She first discovered Mills & Boon books, via a girl she worked with. She married Steve Halsall, an accountant and a "lovely man", who smoked and drank too heavily, and suffered oral cancer with bravery and dignity. Her husband bought her the small electric typewriter on which she typed her first novels, at a time when he could ill afford it. He died at the beginning of 21st century.
She earned a living as a writer since the 1970s when, as a shorthand typist, she entered a competition run by the Romantic Novelists' Association. Although she didn't win, Penny found an agent who was looking for a new Georgette Heyer. She published four regency novels as Caroline Courtney, before changing her nom de plume to Melinda Wright for three air-hostess romps and then she wrote two thrillers as Lydia Hitchcock. Soon after that, Mills and Boon accepted her first novel for them, Falcon's Prey as Penny Jordan. However, for her more historical romance novels, she adopted her mother's maiden-name to become Annie Groves. Almost 70 of her 167 Mills and Boon novels have been sold worldwide.
Penny Halsall lived in a neo-Georgian house in Nantwich, Cheshire, with her Alsatian Sheba and cat Posh. She worked from home, in her kitchen, surrounded by her pets, and welcomed interruptions from her friends and family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
November 8, 2017
Second chance story of a jilted heroine who is a now an organic beauty products CEO and the filthy rich hero who is back after 11 years away from the village. Not a lot happens, but PJ draws a lovely portrait of a heroine who never got over her only love and has compensated by making an interesting life for herself.
Poor heroine trembles and can't eat and has blinding headaches whenever she is near the hero who is earnestly trying to get her back. It's all very sweet and you wonder what else the hero did to her besides be an immature jerk back in the day. (Spoiler - nothing. That's it.) The hero regretted his actions and held a torch for her the entire time. They stayed true to each other the entire time they were apart. Awww.
Just a nice story.
Poor heroine trembles and can't eat and has blinding headaches whenever she is near the hero who is earnestly trying to get her back. It's all very sweet and you wonder what else the hero did to her besides be an immature jerk back in the day. (Spoiler - nothing. That's it.) The hero regretted his actions and held a torch for her the entire time. They stayed true to each other the entire time they were apart. Awww.
Just a nice story.
July 24, 2015
Ten years ago Holly, a naive idealistic girl had fallen hard for Robert and had assumed that they would get married and have children. But Robert left her in order to pursue his dreams.
Now he is back in her life apparently willing to pick up their relationship where he had left off. But Holly is now a very successful business woman, not willing to forgive or forget how he once broke her romantic young heart.
Amazing book. Sexual tension was intense, angst was thrilling and the chemistry sizzling. So romantic how they stayed celibate during their ten years apart.
Also u gotta love an alpha hero who cries when heroine is rejecting his love. She knew she was lying when she told him she didn't love him but he didn't know that and it was nice to see a sensitive alpha hero. Dreamy romance!!
August 20, 2015
This had it's faults, but I found myself drawn into it and effected nevertheless.
I usually love PJ stories because they are often outrageous with themes of revenge, amnesia, and other OTT tropes I get a kick out of. The story here was more grounded, which is why I'm surprised I liked it as much as I did.
Holly fell in love with her older brother's best friend when he was 22 and she was 18. They have a summer affair, but then Robert rather callously ditches Holly, telling her he doesn't love her and that what they had was just good sex and they were too young to be tied down, etc, etc...
Robert had plans to go to Harvard for grad school and refused to give up on his dreams of getting out of the small English village where they were raised.
Holly stayed behind and buried herself in her gardening and love of nature. Eventually her interests turned into a very successful business where she sold natural beauty products. But, in true HP fashion, she has never had more than a few casual dates over the past ~12 years and seemingly has no interest in sex or men. It's all business for her.
In reality, as a woman of 41, I don't find Holly's behavior to be typical or believable after that extended length of time, especially since she didn't have the infamous 'secret baby' to occupy her time and tie her to the absent H. At least not in my experience. YMMV. However, it does harken back to my earlier romantic ideals of only being able to respond to 'the one'. Which is why I think many of us love the world of romance. And maybe, just maybe, life does work out that way for some people and they do love someone so much that 12 years later they are still in mourning for their teenage love. After all, if the all-encompassing love and HEAs found in romance novels was something we all experienced, there wouldn't be a market for romance novels. That's why they succeed. It's fantasy. No point in getting bent out of shape IMHO. If that's not YOUR ideal reality, then fine. There are other romance genres out there.
I only mention this because there's a lot of argument/rantings on forums lately about this trope and the message it sends and how unrealistic it is. Particularly the double standard where the hero spends the separation sleeping with everything in a skirt. This was different in that aspect, however. It's debatable if the hero was celibate the entire time. He apparently did make some efforts early on to move on. I think it's left up to the reader to decide how far those efforts went, but it does seem definite that he decided it was pointless to try to replace Holly and had been celibate for most if not all of those 12 years.
Robert, who was a very successful multi-millionaire financial consultant in NY, began to see articles about Holly's business in the English financial papers he followed. He realizes she isn't married and that as a man in his mid-thirties it's time he take a chance and see if he can get back the girl he never forgot. So, he leaves New York and buys a grand manor in his hometown.
When they meet again, it's very obvious to the reader and anyone else that the two are still in love, but out of pride, Holly is very cold to Robert. She tries to seem indifferent and Robert takes her at face value. As one character in the book says, the two needed their heads knocked together.
And, WOW, I think Holly should get the award for the most overwrought PJ heroine - a position for which there is serious competition. I wanted to reach into the pages and give the poor girl a Xanax. Seriously, not joking, this chick was a nervous friggin wreck. A medically necessary case for anxiety medication if I ever saw one.
There was lots of pain and suffering for both, which is fun :)
Although, I don't think what the hero did was so hard to forgive as is often the case in HPLandia. In reality, I think it was probably best that he did go to America and get that out of his system. Otherwise, he probably would always have wondered 'what if' and wouldn't have appreciated what he had.
I don't think Holly believed his actions were that unforgivable either. If I did, I probably wouldn't have liked her. She wasn't so much vindictive as she was protecting herself and her pride. She really believed Robert only used her for sex the first go around, and he only had himself to blame based on what he'd said. Still, I believe if he'd sat her down, apologized, and very clearly told her why he'd come back with no vagueness whatsoever, she'd have given him another chance. Believe me, I mean VERY CLEARLY EXPLAINED, because neither of these two could take even the slightest hint (knock heads together). If there was the tiniest bit of room to misunderstand they'd jump on it, especially Holly.
Having come of age in the nineties I did enjoy the foray back into the early days of the commercialization of the 'green movement'. The themes of growing up and reorganizing one's priorities were also identifiable. And, for once, we have a PJ hero who did not slut shame the heroine and show his love with vicious jealousy and insults.
Robert wasn't a bad guy at all. He assumed that Holly had moved on and while he was jealous/possessive, he didn't make an ass out of himself about it. After all, he'd left her and he had no right - which doesn't seem to matter to most H's. Robert seemed to truly respect and like women. I may embrace the 'frozen sexuality' trope in fantasy land, but I do not like all the misogyny. All in all, I think PJ did a good job of integrating more modern ideals without messing with the fabric of the HP universe. It's a delicate balance since that is most definitely another, separate dimension from our own.
I usually love PJ stories because they are often outrageous with themes of revenge, amnesia, and other OTT tropes I get a kick out of. The story here was more grounded, which is why I'm surprised I liked it as much as I did.
Holly fell in love with her older brother's best friend when he was 22 and she was 18. They have a summer affair, but then Robert rather callously ditches Holly, telling her he doesn't love her and that what they had was just good sex and they were too young to be tied down, etc, etc...
Robert had plans to go to Harvard for grad school and refused to give up on his dreams of getting out of the small English village where they were raised.
Holly stayed behind and buried herself in her gardening and love of nature. Eventually her interests turned into a very successful business where she sold natural beauty products. But, in true HP fashion, she has never had more than a few casual dates over the past ~12 years and seemingly has no interest in sex or men. It's all business for her.
In reality, as a woman of 41, I don't find Holly's behavior to be typical or believable after that extended length of time, especially since she didn't have the infamous 'secret baby' to occupy her time and tie her to the absent H. At least not in my experience. YMMV. However, it does harken back to my earlier romantic ideals of only being able to respond to 'the one'. Which is why I think many of us love the world of romance. And maybe, just maybe, life does work out that way for some people and they do love someone so much that 12 years later they are still in mourning for their teenage love. After all, if the all-encompassing love and HEAs found in romance novels was something we all experienced, there wouldn't be a market for romance novels. That's why they succeed. It's fantasy. No point in getting bent out of shape IMHO. If that's not YOUR ideal reality, then fine. There are other romance genres out there.
I only mention this because there's a lot of argument/rantings on forums lately about this trope and the message it sends and how unrealistic it is. Particularly the double standard where the hero spends the separation sleeping with everything in a skirt. This was different in that aspect, however. It's debatable if the hero was celibate the entire time. He apparently did make some efforts early on to move on. I think it's left up to the reader to decide how far those efforts went, but it does seem definite that he decided it was pointless to try to replace Holly and had been celibate for most if not all of those 12 years.
Robert, who was a very successful multi-millionaire financial consultant in NY, began to see articles about Holly's business in the English financial papers he followed. He realizes she isn't married and that as a man in his mid-thirties it's time he take a chance and see if he can get back the girl he never forgot. So, he leaves New York and buys a grand manor in his hometown.
When they meet again, it's very obvious to the reader and anyone else that the two are still in love, but out of pride, Holly is very cold to Robert. She tries to seem indifferent and Robert takes her at face value. As one character in the book says, the two needed their heads knocked together.
And, WOW, I think Holly should get the award for the most overwrought PJ heroine - a position for which there is serious competition. I wanted to reach into the pages and give the poor girl a Xanax. Seriously, not joking, this chick was a nervous friggin wreck. A medically necessary case for anxiety medication if I ever saw one.
There was lots of pain and suffering for both, which is fun :)
Although, I don't think what the hero did was so hard to forgive as is often the case in HPLandia. In reality, I think it was probably best that he did go to America and get that out of his system. Otherwise, he probably would always have wondered 'what if' and wouldn't have appreciated what he had.
I don't think Holly believed his actions were that unforgivable either. If I did, I probably wouldn't have liked her. She wasn't so much vindictive as she was protecting herself and her pride. She really believed Robert only used her for sex the first go around, and he only had himself to blame based on what he'd said. Still, I believe if he'd sat her down, apologized, and very clearly told her why he'd come back with no vagueness whatsoever, she'd have given him another chance. Believe me, I mean VERY CLEARLY EXPLAINED, because neither of these two could take even the slightest hint (knock heads together). If there was the tiniest bit of room to misunderstand they'd jump on it, especially Holly.
Having come of age in the nineties I did enjoy the foray back into the early days of the commercialization of the 'green movement'. The themes of growing up and reorganizing one's priorities were also identifiable. And, for once, we have a PJ hero who did not slut shame the heroine and show his love with vicious jealousy and insults.
Robert wasn't a bad guy at all. He assumed that Holly had moved on and while he was jealous/possessive, he didn't make an ass out of himself about it. After all, he'd left her and he had no right - which doesn't seem to matter to most H's. Robert seemed to truly respect and like women. I may embrace the 'frozen sexuality' trope in fantasy land, but I do not like all the misogyny. All in all, I think PJ did a good job of integrating more modern ideals without messing with the fabric of the HP universe. It's a delicate balance since that is most definitely another, separate dimension from our own.
July 31, 2018
Re Past Loving - the second HP Plus of August 1995 is a PJ with extra PJness second chance romance.
The plot is PJ's favorite. Rejected lover meets old flame after a long absence and of course they are going to reunite by the end, but oh the angst and inner torment we are going to go through to get there.
I think several shots of liquid xanax or valium is a requirement before picking this one up, (or at least a very hefty Captain consult.) The poor h had to make do with a few glasses of wine and that clearly wasn't helping her much during the course of this story.
In the usual PJ way, the thirty year old h is sitting on the couch of the wife of her company accountant when we start our HP outing. In the even more usual PJ way, the wife of the h's company accountant is a shameless hussy who gossips about everything and can be relied upon to say the most inappropriate things ever in any social situation.
The h really likes her accountant tho, so she puts up with the woman's inane chatter that her boring and chubby teddy bear like hubby is having it off with his secretary. Then, just to really get this story pumping, the hussy drops the bombshell news that the h's old lover has returned to the area and bought the local mouldering estate.
Fortunately, our h had already heard the news on the small market town grapevine and even more fortunately, our h is the CEO of a natural cosmetic company along the lines of LUSH and has had plenty of PR training to maintain a cool image even under the most trying of circumstance.
The h is very droll and casual in her measured response to the hussy's avid curiosity about the h's reaction to her newly returned former beau, she simply smiles and tells the hussy why should she care about a teen-aged fling that was so long ago she barely remembers it?
Then our formidable h casually remarks that the hussy should go meet her husband's new secretary, the woman is 55 and a mother of two with five grandchildren. She leaves the hussy gaping in shock as she gathers her bag and strolls out the door, our h has a board meeting to attend.
We get the gist of the h's backstory as we all trundle along a short cut to the board meeting. When the h was a little girl, she fell in love with her older brother's best friend. When she turned 18 he claimed he fell in love back and a glorious summer of love was then indulged in - with proper prophylactic precautions duly prescribed and faithfully taken every day.
Then the summer ended and as the autumn leaves began to fall in the increasingly chilling breeze, the h's adored lover dumped her for life in the fast lane in the big city of New York. The h was devastated, all she wanted was to love her guy and be a mum and have a nice little house in the country.
But her lover callously told her that he was only in it for the lurve club. He was too young to tie himself down to a teenager. Besides she had her own education and life to build and fame and fortune beckoned him far more than a nice shag on the summer lawn.
The h, who had completely poured all of herself into the celebration of her love and went a little extrovertly emotional over her guy for probably the first time in her entire life, is utterly and completely wrecked.
Our sweet little h is actually an introvert, and for her to make her big stumbling HUGE declaration of love to a guy who was only out for a little action made her withdraw into her emotional shell. But more importantly, she took such a big emotional risk and found out she was so badly wrong that she is filled with disgust at her own naivete and more importantly, her own bad judgement.
The h is actually a very intuitive emotionally intelligent person. But her lover's rejection to go race around the fast track of the big city caused her to believe that her intuition about her feelings and other people's feels was completely non-existent and she cannot forgive herself the mistake.
Then the h's father became ill and the h had just graduated from uni with a degree in chemistry. The h managed to stifle all those inner emotions for home, hearth and family, but a true nurturing vocation will win out in the end. The h finds herself the CEO of a very up and coming organic cosmetic company and the proud owner of a very lovely garden, nearly twelve years after her psyche was torn to pieces by betrayed love.
She avoids intimacy and men and she thinks of herself as an emotionless celibate. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that all she really did was channel her romantic nurturing nature into building a company and supporting environmental causes that she really believes in. Plus they are things that she alone controls, so no one can manipulate her heart or pierce her emotions ever again.
The big disillusionment breakup did do one thing for the h that she never recognizes tho, it gave her a spine of steel and a hard edge when it comes to running her business and supporting her environmental causes and this h is formidable in her ability to make things happen her way.
(There is a lot sexism discussed in this book and while it seems a cliche now, one of the book's better points is that what PJ described as the varying male reactions to the h's success were actually spot on target. Back in the day, people's perceptions of women heading companies were really expressed in these ways. We have come a long, long way, dear readers, this book is a gentle reminder of it.)
So when the H and h meet again when they almost collide on the short cut to the board meeting, it is an unusual mix of a very successful and very assertive, (in the nicest possible way,) introvert forced to be an extrovert woman who still mourns and berates herself for the mistakes of her romantic past and the very bad judgement of hers that led to them.
This gives the h an outward composure that fools most of the people who know her. But it should be no surprise that the meeting of the old lover sparks off another crisis in this h's soul.
She cannot let go of the shame she feels for loving so well and yet so unwisely and PJ makes sure she describes that right down to the last shattered anguished thought as the h realizes she STILL has the Full Force Lurve Mojo Passion for the H.
The H for his part, knows he was an utter toe rag, sewer slurping nematode 10 years and eleven months earlier, but he has been seekritly reading up on the h and her big success and life in the big city fast lane is lucrative monetarily and a desert in every other way.
The H needs to know if he can earn himself another chance and so it is back to the home market village we go, with the purchase of the local estate with overgrown gardens thrown in to sweeten the lure for the h.
Then the H kinda almost ruins things cause he just cannot help but kiss the h and PJ just cannot resist the temptation to have every single secondary character except for the wanna be OW try and pimp the h out to the H.
It makes for a nerve-wracking eight inner chapters of the book. The H feels terrible that he let his parent's marital failure over the lack of the his father's monetary success skew his view on what was needed to make a happy and loving life.
The H mistakenly believed that his mother was miserable cause his father was poor and tho he loved the h with all of his heart, he thought he needed to be making well above six figures a year to prove to the h that they could be a success as life partners.
Instead the H has grown enough to realize that he just needed to pick the kind of woman who valued love and happy times together over money and a nicer house. He also realizes that he had at that at 22 and he threw it away like trash.
The h inner turmoil doesn't lend itself to much outward forgiveness for the H and his actions. So when he tries to tempt her into redesigning his overgrown gardens, the ploy fails.
As the h makes it clear in no uncertain terms that his past actions preclude any kind of second chance in the romance stakes with the h and the H totally believes her passionate declaration.
Of course PJ isn't going to leave it like that and here is where the creepy part comes in.
The h and her off-on-a-business-trip-and-now-returned brother are reunited. The brother also invited his BFF, the H. The h drinks a few glasses of wine and champagne in desperation during dinner and the H offers to drive her tipsy self home.
The h falls asleep, the H carries her into her house and puts her in her bed and then his Lurve Mojo overcomes his good sense, cause he climbs into bed with her. This leads to the semi conscious Purple Passion Transcendent Bliss experience of HP Full Force Mojo.
Then the h comes to her senses the next morning and in act of self-defense emotionally claims the incredible pink sparkly moment of ecstasy was an exorcism of their past - not a reboot of their relationship. It is the H's turn to be utterly devastated and kudos to PJ here for piling on some H angst.
The H goes off to have his big mopey moment and the h has to ponder the state of her own soul. That preponderance comes about in another familiar PJ trope. Yet another wanna be OW, this one from America and a long standing acquaintance of the H, goes to the h to lecture her about not being with the H, who clearly is devoted to her.
The h lets this woman deliver her lecture, cries buckets all over the place and then goes to the H's house to reunite in rainbow sparkly kitten and unicorn dancing bliss for the HEA.
This one is okay, tho it is a very, very PJish HP outing. I actually liked how the h had to struggle with her inner torment in comparison with her outward poise and leadership, (tho there was a lot of headaches, trembling and loss of appetite,) but I despise the OW tells the h the H loves her trope.
I knocked off full two stars for that, cause I wanted to smack that tart silly. Even tho PJ tries to make her nice - WHO DOES THAT? I mean srsly, this woman is an utter stranger, waylays a very reserved woman in her home and then berates her for not falling all over a man who dumped her like she was yesterday's trash?!?
I would have brained her with a garden hoe, especially when it becomes apparent that the woman is seeking a way to ingrate herself with the h's beloved brother. Gold digger warning red alert there. I wanted the h to channel her inner Irish Warrior Queen (thanks Margo,) and smite the lot of them for unreasonable torture and torment of an introvert.
Fortunately the big reunion scene with the H is sweet and lovely. The H gets his own Sally "You love me, you really love me" speech and I thought the two of them were adorable. As well there was a strongly hinted bonus, (by the OW,) that the H was almost as celibate as the h for that long, lonely time.
So we can leave the two of them safely loved up and happy together, with the H slyly remarking that the h HAS to redesign the garden for him now and the h mildly complaining about what some men will do to get out of a bit of digging, for a mostly decent PJ HPlanida Plus experience.
The plot is PJ's favorite. Rejected lover meets old flame after a long absence and of course they are going to reunite by the end, but oh the angst and inner torment we are going to go through to get there.
I think several shots of liquid xanax or valium is a requirement before picking this one up, (or at least a very hefty Captain consult.) The poor h had to make do with a few glasses of wine and that clearly wasn't helping her much during the course of this story.
In the usual PJ way, the thirty year old h is sitting on the couch of the wife of her company accountant when we start our HP outing. In the even more usual PJ way, the wife of the h's company accountant is a shameless hussy who gossips about everything and can be relied upon to say the most inappropriate things ever in any social situation.
The h really likes her accountant tho, so she puts up with the woman's inane chatter that her boring and chubby teddy bear like hubby is having it off with his secretary. Then, just to really get this story pumping, the hussy drops the bombshell news that the h's old lover has returned to the area and bought the local mouldering estate.
Fortunately, our h had already heard the news on the small market town grapevine and even more fortunately, our h is the CEO of a natural cosmetic company along the lines of LUSH and has had plenty of PR training to maintain a cool image even under the most trying of circumstance.
The h is very droll and casual in her measured response to the hussy's avid curiosity about the h's reaction to her newly returned former beau, she simply smiles and tells the hussy why should she care about a teen-aged fling that was so long ago she barely remembers it?
Then our formidable h casually remarks that the hussy should go meet her husband's new secretary, the woman is 55 and a mother of two with five grandchildren. She leaves the hussy gaping in shock as she gathers her bag and strolls out the door, our h has a board meeting to attend.
We get the gist of the h's backstory as we all trundle along a short cut to the board meeting. When the h was a little girl, she fell in love with her older brother's best friend. When she turned 18 he claimed he fell in love back and a glorious summer of love was then indulged in - with proper prophylactic precautions duly prescribed and faithfully taken every day.
Then the summer ended and as the autumn leaves began to fall in the increasingly chilling breeze, the h's adored lover dumped her for life in the fast lane in the big city of New York. The h was devastated, all she wanted was to love her guy and be a mum and have a nice little house in the country.
But her lover callously told her that he was only in it for the lurve club. He was too young to tie himself down to a teenager. Besides she had her own education and life to build and fame and fortune beckoned him far more than a nice shag on the summer lawn.
The h, who had completely poured all of herself into the celebration of her love and went a little extrovertly emotional over her guy for probably the first time in her entire life, is utterly and completely wrecked.
Our sweet little h is actually an introvert, and for her to make her big stumbling HUGE declaration of love to a guy who was only out for a little action made her withdraw into her emotional shell. But more importantly, she took such a big emotional risk and found out she was so badly wrong that she is filled with disgust at her own naivete and more importantly, her own bad judgement.
The h is actually a very intuitive emotionally intelligent person. But her lover's rejection to go race around the fast track of the big city caused her to believe that her intuition about her feelings and other people's feels was completely non-existent and she cannot forgive herself the mistake.
Then the h's father became ill and the h had just graduated from uni with a degree in chemistry. The h managed to stifle all those inner emotions for home, hearth and family, but a true nurturing vocation will win out in the end. The h finds herself the CEO of a very up and coming organic cosmetic company and the proud owner of a very lovely garden, nearly twelve years after her psyche was torn to pieces by betrayed love.
She avoids intimacy and men and she thinks of herself as an emotionless celibate. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that all she really did was channel her romantic nurturing nature into building a company and supporting environmental causes that she really believes in. Plus they are things that she alone controls, so no one can manipulate her heart or pierce her emotions ever again.
The big disillusionment breakup did do one thing for the h that she never recognizes tho, it gave her a spine of steel and a hard edge when it comes to running her business and supporting her environmental causes and this h is formidable in her ability to make things happen her way.
(There is a lot sexism discussed in this book and while it seems a cliche now, one of the book's better points is that what PJ described as the varying male reactions to the h's success were actually spot on target. Back in the day, people's perceptions of women heading companies were really expressed in these ways. We have come a long, long way, dear readers, this book is a gentle reminder of it.)
So when the H and h meet again when they almost collide on the short cut to the board meeting, it is an unusual mix of a very successful and very assertive, (in the nicest possible way,) introvert forced to be an extrovert woman who still mourns and berates herself for the mistakes of her romantic past and the very bad judgement of hers that led to them.
This gives the h an outward composure that fools most of the people who know her. But it should be no surprise that the meeting of the old lover sparks off another crisis in this h's soul.
She cannot let go of the shame she feels for loving so well and yet so unwisely and PJ makes sure she describes that right down to the last shattered anguished thought as the h realizes she STILL has the Full Force Lurve Mojo Passion for the H.
The H for his part, knows he was an utter toe rag, sewer slurping nematode 10 years and eleven months earlier, but he has been seekritly reading up on the h and her big success and life in the big city fast lane is lucrative monetarily and a desert in every other way.
The H needs to know if he can earn himself another chance and so it is back to the home market village we go, with the purchase of the local estate with overgrown gardens thrown in to sweeten the lure for the h.
Then the H kinda almost ruins things cause he just cannot help but kiss the h and PJ just cannot resist the temptation to have every single secondary character except for the wanna be OW try and pimp the h out to the H.
It makes for a nerve-wracking eight inner chapters of the book. The H feels terrible that he let his parent's marital failure over the lack of the his father's monetary success skew his view on what was needed to make a happy and loving life.
The H mistakenly believed that his mother was miserable cause his father was poor and tho he loved the h with all of his heart, he thought he needed to be making well above six figures a year to prove to the h that they could be a success as life partners.
Instead the H has grown enough to realize that he just needed to pick the kind of woman who valued love and happy times together over money and a nicer house. He also realizes that he had at that at 22 and he threw it away like trash.
The h inner turmoil doesn't lend itself to much outward forgiveness for the H and his actions. So when he tries to tempt her into redesigning his overgrown gardens, the ploy fails.
As the h makes it clear in no uncertain terms that his past actions preclude any kind of second chance in the romance stakes with the h and the H totally believes her passionate declaration.
Of course PJ isn't going to leave it like that and here is where the creepy part comes in.
The h and her off-on-a-business-trip-and-now-returned brother are reunited. The brother also invited his BFF, the H. The h drinks a few glasses of wine and champagne in desperation during dinner and the H offers to drive her tipsy self home.
The h falls asleep, the H carries her into her house and puts her in her bed and then his Lurve Mojo overcomes his good sense, cause he climbs into bed with her. This leads to the semi conscious Purple Passion Transcendent Bliss experience of HP Full Force Mojo.
Then the h comes to her senses the next morning and in act of self-defense emotionally claims the incredible pink sparkly moment of ecstasy was an exorcism of their past - not a reboot of their relationship. It is the H's turn to be utterly devastated and kudos to PJ here for piling on some H angst.
The H goes off to have his big mopey moment and the h has to ponder the state of her own soul. That preponderance comes about in another familiar PJ trope. Yet another wanna be OW, this one from America and a long standing acquaintance of the H, goes to the h to lecture her about not being with the H, who clearly is devoted to her.
The h lets this woman deliver her lecture, cries buckets all over the place and then goes to the H's house to reunite in rainbow sparkly kitten and unicorn dancing bliss for the HEA.
This one is okay, tho it is a very, very PJish HP outing. I actually liked how the h had to struggle with her inner torment in comparison with her outward poise and leadership, (tho there was a lot of headaches, trembling and loss of appetite,) but I despise the OW tells the h the H loves her trope.
I knocked off full two stars for that, cause I wanted to smack that tart silly. Even tho PJ tries to make her nice - WHO DOES THAT? I mean srsly, this woman is an utter stranger, waylays a very reserved woman in her home and then berates her for not falling all over a man who dumped her like she was yesterday's trash?!?
I would have brained her with a garden hoe, especially when it becomes apparent that the woman is seeking a way to ingrate herself with the h's beloved brother. Gold digger warning red alert there. I wanted the h to channel her inner Irish Warrior Queen (thanks Margo,) and smite the lot of them for unreasonable torture and torment of an introvert.
Fortunately the big reunion scene with the H is sweet and lovely. The H gets his own Sally "You love me, you really love me" speech and I thought the two of them were adorable. As well there was a strongly hinted bonus, (by the OW,) that the H was almost as celibate as the h for that long, lonely time.
So we can leave the two of them safely loved up and happy together, with the H slyly remarking that the h HAS to redesign the garden for him now and the h mildly complaining about what some men will do to get out of a bit of digging, for a mostly decent PJ HPlanida Plus experience.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 28, 2020
4.5 stars
If one likes their romances filled with intense passion, angst and tension, then this might be for you.
*spoilers*
Deep love is what binds Robert and Holly to each other even after more than ten years apart. One great example of how much Robert loves Holly is this scene near the end of the book. Holly unexpectedly arrives at Robert's residence to confront him about still loving her. Robert's not fully dressed so he tells her to wait while he finishes in the bathroom. Thinking Holly has left without talking, Robert panics and goes into devastation mode. Aww.
Robert was an immatureFOOL 22-year-old when he dumped 18-year-old Holly to continue his post-graduate studies in the hopes of finding wealth and fortune. He'd witnessed how his mother hadn't been happy with his dad's meager pension so Robert decided that wasn't going to happen to him. He thought they would forget each other and told Holly he didn't love her (a big, fat lie).
Holly has never gotten over Robert's rejection, remaining celibate and focusing all of her energies into her business and gardening. (And according to his one best friend, Robert remained so too.) Some might find this unrealistic, but in the context of fiction I'm willing to believe some people could live lives devoid of such intimacy. It's also believable since Holly was the typical, deeply sensitive and emotional Jordan heroine.
Holly wasn't the only one to suffer years after Robert ended their affair. Robert too has suffered and matured as a result. He quickly realized his mistake after leaving, but didn't return because he believed it was already too late. It's only after discovering Holly's single status that Robert finally (!) seizes his second chance and returns home to England hoping to win Holly back. It's not easy as Holly is wary of Robert's sincerity. They play a game of cat-and-mouse, with Robert trying to get close and Holly retreating until they have THE talk and declare their love for each other. Of course, Robert should have just told Holly everything at the outset, but he feared she wouldn't listen.
Sometimes meeting the right person happens at the wrong time, but sometimes you get a second chance to correct the past. Past Loving is such a fantasy made real in book form.
If one likes their romances filled with intense passion, angst and tension, then this might be for you.
*spoilers*
Deep love is what binds Robert and Holly to each other even after more than ten years apart. One great example of how much Robert loves Holly is this scene near the end of the book. Holly unexpectedly arrives at Robert's residence to confront him about still loving her. Robert's not fully dressed so he tells her to wait while he finishes in the bathroom. Thinking Holly has left without talking, Robert panics and goes into devastation mode. Aww.
Robert was an immature
Holly has never gotten over Robert's rejection, remaining celibate and focusing all of her energies into her business and gardening. (And according to his one best friend, Robert remained so too.) Some might find this unrealistic, but in the context of fiction I'm willing to believe some people could live lives devoid of such intimacy. It's also believable since Holly was the typical, deeply sensitive and emotional Jordan heroine.
Holly wasn't the only one to suffer years after Robert ended their affair. Robert too has suffered and matured as a result. He quickly realized his mistake after leaving, but didn't return because he believed it was already too late. It's only after discovering Holly's single status that Robert finally (!) seizes his second chance and returns home to England hoping to win Holly back. It's not easy as Holly is wary of Robert's sincerity. They play a game of cat-and-mouse, with Robert trying to get close and Holly retreating until they have THE talk and declare their love for each other. Of course, Robert should have just told Holly everything at the outset, but he feared she wouldn't listen.
Sometimes meeting the right person happens at the wrong time, but sometimes you get a second chance to correct the past. Past Loving is such a fantasy made real in book form.
Read
September 26, 2019Guess it had to happen at some point. The first PJ book that I skimmed. A lot.
It just didn't work for me. Too many introspective thoughts, and not enough action and scenes with the H. It only picked up towards the end where H's desperate need for her was truly moving but it was too little, too late.
The whole concept of their relationship was very real-life. She at 18 had rosy dreams of marriage and kids and he, very reasonably at 21, wanted more from life. He was ambitious and didn't want to settle down so broke it off.
I didn't feel he was a dickhead about it. Sure, he slept with her and told her he loved her but he was honest about their future and didn't run off without explanations.
So this H didn't have his father's illegitimate child to take care of, nor was he stuck in a wheelchair, scarred and bitter, nor did he lose his memory after bonking her, neither did he try to bonk her while she lost her memory. Not even a hint of blackmail or a secret baby. Though thankfully, this H didn't try to set her up as a scapegoat for terrorists. PJ fans, you know what I'm talking about.
But there's the problem. It was none of those things and it just bored me shitless.
So she nursed her broken heart by setting up a successful business. There were meetings with associates, her paronoic avoidance of H, dates with OM, repetitive internal musings, discovery of some perfume, some preachy dialogue about equality and I zoned out.
I kept waiting for more explosive encounters with the H but there wasn't much. When he comes back to her village, 10 years later complete with an old house and garden that h needs to refurbish, I knew where PJ was going and I gave up.
Then to round it all off, some presumptuous ex-gf of H shows up to explain H's feelings and urge her to go to him. Wut? I need psycho OWs not sensible ones.
Pity, because H was quite a dish, one of those lovely, evolved Heroes that PJ doesn't usually write about. He wasn't cruel, just belatedly besotted.
It could work well for sensible readers. Me, I need Heroes who've lost their mental faculties, heroines who make bad decisions and crazy OTT nonsense in my romances so if you hate those, you may like this.
Lots of high ratings for this one. Checkout KC, Jenny, KatieV and Queen Booge's reviews on why they liked it.
It just didn't work for me. Too many introspective thoughts, and not enough action and scenes with the H. It only picked up towards the end where H's desperate need for her was truly moving but it was too little, too late.
The whole concept of their relationship was very real-life. She at 18 had rosy dreams of marriage and kids and he, very reasonably at 21, wanted more from life. He was ambitious and didn't want to settle down so broke it off.
I didn't feel he was a dickhead about it. Sure, he slept with her and told her he loved her but he was honest about their future and didn't run off without explanations.
So this H didn't have his father's illegitimate child to take care of, nor was he stuck in a wheelchair, scarred and bitter, nor did he lose his memory after bonking her, neither did he try to bonk her while she lost her memory. Not even a hint of blackmail or a secret baby. Though thankfully, this H didn't try to set her up as a scapegoat for terrorists. PJ fans, you know what I'm talking about.
But there's the problem. It was none of those things and it just bored me shitless.
So she nursed her broken heart by setting up a successful business. There were meetings with associates, her paronoic avoidance of H, dates with OM, repetitive internal musings, discovery of some perfume, some preachy dialogue about equality and I zoned out.
I kept waiting for more explosive encounters with the H but there wasn't much. When he comes back to her village, 10 years later complete with an old house and garden that h needs to refurbish, I knew where PJ was going and I gave up.
Then to round it all off, some presumptuous ex-gf of H shows up to explain H's feelings and urge her to go to him. Wut? I need psycho OWs not sensible ones.
Pity, because H was quite a dish, one of those lovely, evolved Heroes that PJ doesn't usually write about. He wasn't cruel, just belatedly besotted.
It could work well for sensible readers. Me, I need Heroes who've lost their mental faculties, heroines who make bad decisions and crazy OTT nonsense in my romances so if you hate those, you may like this.
Lots of high ratings for this one. Checkout KC, Jenny, KatieV and Queen Booge's reviews on why they liked it.
August 3, 2018
This one was perfect for me. Like a really delicious piece of chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting.
Will def. be re-reading this one.
My only complaint (and a general observation about PJ vintage books) is that there is a large amount of page space devoted to trembling, nausea, chills, fainting, stomach pains all related to unrequited love and sexual desire.
A crap-ton of trembling. Hee hee!
It's obvious that in the HP-writer's manual for this time period, the authors were encouraged to spend a lot of time in deep angsty POV coupled with the physical reactions. It's pretty weird, but also part of the whole vintage vibe and so I can appreciate it and chuckle.
I love these 2nd chance romances. xoxoxo
Will def. be re-reading this one.
My only complaint (and a general observation about PJ vintage books) is that there is a large amount of page space devoted to trembling, nausea, chills, fainting, stomach pains all related to unrequited love and sexual desire.
A crap-ton of trembling. Hee hee!
It's obvious that in the HP-writer's manual for this time period, the authors were encouraged to spend a lot of time in deep angsty POV coupled with the physical reactions. It's pretty weird, but also part of the whole vintage vibe and so I can appreciate it and chuckle.
I love these 2nd chance romances. xoxoxo
July 18, 2022
This is one of those PJ where the hero remains celibate for ages because he is still in love with the heroine. Which doesn’t explain why he didn’t get in touch with her before.
But this is PJ and every sensible behavior is severely forbidden.
The heroine was 18 when she had an affair with 22 yo hero. A sexual affair. Wow. PJ goes OTT here.
Then the hero leaves the heroine telling her she was only a fling and since he’s ambitious he goes to America and becomes rich.
The heroine, being a PJ heroine, is traumatized as is she were gang raped for months by thousands of men each day, and doesn’t allow any other man to get nearer than 30 feet.
She becomes a successful businesswoman though, with a company that produces organic make up. Good girl.
11 years later the hero is back and he wants a second chance with her.
She still suffer from severe PTSD, and I can assure you that she does since the signs are all there: when she sees him she shakes her, is unable to speak properly, she has migraines, nightmares, she cries, she’s basically unable to manage her emotions.
She needs a shrink and a good one.
The hero seems regretful but she doesn’t trust him, even after they had sex she rejects him and tells him it was only closure.
Yeah, right.
After losing some more weight ( PJ heroines are often on the slim side and at the end of the books they are just skinny ) and some more sleep, the heroine meets his date, who afterwards tells the heroine she’s his bff since he went to USA. She also tells her he was faithful to her for all those years and regretted leaving her and was afraid she would reject him. This is his last attempt to win her back, and if she will refuse him he will live rich, unhappy and celibate.
Happy ending with the hero confessing how much he regretted dumping her and how much unhappy he has been for years.
Of course one star added is for his celibacy. 11 years is long time but at least we don’t have double standard here.
The hero is a pussy, I still don’t understand why he waited so long to go back to her. He pined for her from afar and was unhappy all the time, and we can confirm it because he never had sex with ows.
So much time wasted.
Then he decided to try one last time. Last? When ever were the previous ones???
I enjoyed this OTT pj because it is so very much pj.
- disturbed heroine who becomes a quivering mess each time he’s around.
-tbs
- miscommunication by both sides
- a lot of inner thinking
- stupid choices that takes much unhappiness for nothing
There are also some inconsistencies such as when the hero is referred to as he was 40, but since the heroine is 30 and he’s 4 years older he should be 34.
I liked it anyway because the hero was besotted and the heroine made him grovel enough.
Of course you can’t love those heroes and heroines since they have so many issues, but those ones were at least very similar in their suffering and experiences.
But this is PJ and every sensible behavior is severely forbidden.
The heroine was 18 when she had an affair with 22 yo hero. A sexual affair. Wow. PJ goes OTT here.
Then the hero leaves the heroine telling her she was only a fling and since he’s ambitious he goes to America and becomes rich.
The heroine, being a PJ heroine, is traumatized as is she were gang raped for months by thousands of men each day, and doesn’t allow any other man to get nearer than 30 feet.
She becomes a successful businesswoman though, with a company that produces organic make up. Good girl.
11 years later the hero is back and he wants a second chance with her.
She still suffer from severe PTSD, and I can assure you that she does since the signs are all there: when she sees him she shakes her, is unable to speak properly, she has migraines, nightmares, she cries, she’s basically unable to manage her emotions.
She needs a shrink and a good one.
The hero seems regretful but she doesn’t trust him, even after they had sex she rejects him and tells him it was only closure.
Yeah, right.
After losing some more weight ( PJ heroines are often on the slim side and at the end of the books they are just skinny ) and some more sleep, the heroine meets his date, who afterwards tells the heroine she’s his bff since he went to USA. She also tells her he was faithful to her for all those years and regretted leaving her and was afraid she would reject him. This is his last attempt to win her back, and if she will refuse him he will live rich, unhappy and celibate.
Happy ending with the hero confessing how much he regretted dumping her and how much unhappy he has been for years.
Of course one star added is for his celibacy. 11 years is long time but at least we don’t have double standard here.
The hero is a pussy, I still don’t understand why he waited so long to go back to her. He pined for her from afar and was unhappy all the time, and we can confirm it because he never had sex with ows.
So much time wasted.
Then he decided to try one last time. Last? When ever were the previous ones???
I enjoyed this OTT pj because it is so very much pj.
- disturbed heroine who becomes a quivering mess each time he’s around.
-tbs
- miscommunication by both sides
- a lot of inner thinking
- stupid choices that takes much unhappiness for nothing
There are also some inconsistencies such as when the hero is referred to as he was 40, but since the heroine is 30 and he’s 4 years older he should be 34.
I liked it anyway because the hero was besotted and the heroine made him grovel enough.
Of course you can’t love those heroes and heroines since they have so many issues, but those ones were at least very similar in their suffering and experiences.
March 8, 2018
Thanks to KC for the rec.
I know I'm not a balanced person when I forgive more easily the sleazy heroes that callously seduce the innocent heroines to gain revenge or a business deal or something than to this poor fool who was immature when he was 22...
I guess that's why we get thirty-something-years-old heroes in Harleyland...
I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt about how far went his attempts to forget Holly.
And I'm obsessed again with La misma luna by Matisse and just because it was the perfect fit for the book.
Anyways KatieV and KC 2.0 have great reviews that explain what went on.
I know I'm not a balanced person when I forgive more easily the sleazy heroes that callously seduce the innocent heroines to gain revenge or a business deal or something than to this poor fool who was immature when he was 22...
I guess that's why we get thirty-something-years-old heroes in Harleyland...
I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt about how far went his attempts to forget Holly.
And I'm obsessed again with La misma luna by Matisse and just because it was the perfect fit for the book.
Anyways KatieV and KC 2.0 have great reviews that explain what went on.
April 10, 2019
"Past Loving" is the story of Holly and Robert.
A very passionate and angsty second chance romance, in this story we meet reunited lovers Holly and Robert.
Ten years ago, a teenage Holly had given her body and soul to Robert, planning her future and life with him- when he spurned and left her to face to dust for better prospects. Utterly heartbroken, she picks herself up from the ashes and soon becomes a successful career woman- starting a company that manufactures natural cosmetics- and is a completely different person now, a decade later. That is until Robert returns back to town, and she finds that she is not over him at all.
Throughout the book, I wanted the h to push the H away- but she did not- instead she shivered in arousal, yearned for his touch, became jealous of every OW who came near him and realized she was madly in love with him despite dating OM. I would have hated the H more- but it's pretty obvious he regretted his immature behavior, and genuinely wanted the h back in his life, and still loved her.
But why the low rating? I hate double standards. If the hero had sex with OW in separation, the heroine should have had too- I dont like one party being celibate and the other being wildly promiscuous (which he was not, but that's beside the point).
I liked parts of it, but I wish she was more bold, and he was more aggressive. Also, this one definitely needed an epilogue- but did not have one.
Okay..ish.
Unsafe
2.5/5
A very passionate and angsty second chance romance, in this story we meet reunited lovers Holly and Robert.
Ten years ago, a teenage Holly had given her body and soul to Robert, planning her future and life with him- when he spurned and left her to face to dust for better prospects. Utterly heartbroken, she picks herself up from the ashes and soon becomes a successful career woman- starting a company that manufactures natural cosmetics- and is a completely different person now, a decade later. That is until Robert returns back to town, and she finds that she is not over him at all.
Throughout the book, I wanted the h to push the H away- but she did not- instead she shivered in arousal, yearned for his touch, became jealous of every OW who came near him and realized she was madly in love with him despite dating OM. I would have hated the H more- but it's pretty obvious he regretted his immature behavior, and genuinely wanted the h back in his life, and still loved her.
But why the low rating? I hate double standards. If the hero had sex with OW in separation, the heroine should have had too- I dont like one party being celibate and the other being wildly promiscuous (which he was not, but that's beside the point).
I liked parts of it, but I wish she was more bold, and he was more aggressive. Also, this one definitely needed an epilogue- but did not have one.
Okay..ish.
Unsafe
2.5/5
January 12, 2022
She shakes.
She trembles.
She shivers.
She quivers.
She had some sort of nervous breakdown every time she saw the H. It became really, really annoying.
When she wasn’t shaking, trembling, shivering or quivering, she was either in shock or she was in tears or she had a terrible headache or she couldn’t eat.
There were far too many pages wasted on what she was thinking and on what had happened in the past. There was far too little interaction between the H and the h in the present. Too many pages about flowers and gardens.
I went from reading to skimming the pages.
She trembles.
She shivers.
She quivers.
She had some sort of nervous breakdown every time she saw the H. It became really, really annoying.
When she wasn’t shaking, trembling, shivering or quivering, she was either in shock or she was in tears or she had a terrible headache or she couldn’t eat.
There were far too many pages wasted on what she was thinking and on what had happened in the past. There was far too little interaction between the H and the h in the present. Too many pages about flowers and gardens.
I went from reading to skimming the pages.
January 15, 2022
It’s 4 am in the morning. Insomnia strikes! I pick up the tablet and resume reading the book I started before falling asleep, hoping it will work its magic again! Nope, so I definitely see a nap in my future.
I have been drawn to 2nd chance stories lately. This story is like friends to lovers to wth do we do now then back to lovers.
The h Holly is 18 and the hero(a best friend of her brother)Robert is 22. It is the summer of love for them. The h put herself on birth control(no secret babies this time) and cashed in her v-card. They whisper sweet nothings to each other and it looks like this relationship is heading somewhere. The summer is over and Robert has decided its time to make his mark on this world. He tells her it was sex and that she at 18 should want more than just marriage and babies. So off to America he goes to make his fortune and (maybe sample from the lady buffet that awaits) leaving a distraught heroine behind.
Ok, so most of us have been in this situation where we either were in love or think we were in love and our hero at the time smashes our heart to smithereens. It is painful. You think you will never love again, but eventually the pain eases and you move on. Look we wouldn’t have more than 1/2 the songs or books out there if the path to love was easy. Since this book was written in 1995, it would have made their break up sometime in the 80’s, so I know exactly what this girl was listening to . (Warning 80’s memory lane coming up)Hell, I made a cassette tape after being crushed by my crush! Oh gosh I had In too Deep by Genesis replayed so much that I am pretty sure I wore out the thin tape. Then more wallowing took place with The Police with Every Breath you Take, Careless Whisper by Wham, With or without you by U2 etc….the list goes on. I really needed Alannis Morisette’s angry songs but she didn’t come along until mid 90’s.
For most of us we get right back on that horse. Unfortunately for our h that was not the case, and when Sinead O’ Connor’s Nothing Compares 2 U was released in 1990 our h was like: you are singing to the choir!!
Spoilers now!
In conclusion, I am not going to lie and say that this was sort of rip roaring carnival ride. There are parts in the book that drag. If you stick with it, I feel the ending will make up for the pages that might get skimmed.
I have been drawn to 2nd chance stories lately. This story is like friends to lovers to wth do we do now then back to lovers.
The h Holly is 18 and the hero(a best friend of her brother)Robert is 22. It is the summer of love for them. The h put herself on birth control(no secret babies this time) and cashed in her v-card. They whisper sweet nothings to each other and it looks like this relationship is heading somewhere. The summer is over and Robert has decided its time to make his mark on this world. He tells her it was sex and that she at 18 should want more than just marriage and babies. So off to America he goes to make his fortune and (maybe sample from the lady buffet that awaits) leaving a distraught heroine behind.
Ok, so most of us have been in this situation where we either were in love or think we were in love and our hero at the time smashes our heart to smithereens. It is painful. You think you will never love again, but eventually the pain eases and you move on. Look we wouldn’t have more than 1/2 the songs or books out there if the path to love was easy. Since this book was written in 1995, it would have made their break up sometime in the 80’s, so I know exactly what this girl was listening to . (Warning 80’s memory lane coming up)Hell, I made a cassette tape after being crushed by my crush! Oh gosh I had In too Deep by Genesis replayed so much that I am pretty sure I wore out the thin tape. Then more wallowing took place with The Police with Every Breath you Take, Careless Whisper by Wham, With or without you by U2 etc….the list goes on. I really needed Alannis Morisette’s angry songs but she didn’t come along until mid 90’s.
For most of us we get right back on that horse. Unfortunately for our h that was not the case, and when Sinead O’ Connor’s Nothing Compares 2 U was released in 1990 our h was like: you are singing to the choir!!
Spoilers now!
In conclusion, I am not going to lie and say that this was sort of rip roaring carnival ride. There are parts in the book that drag. If you stick with it, I feel the ending will make up for the pages that might get skimmed.
March 25, 2023
I really don’t know why so many of Penny Jordan’s heroines are reduced to trembling, tearful wrecks every time the hero is in the vicinity. This H isn’t even a shouty, abusive one, and this heroine is supposed to be a modern, forward-thinking businesswoman. Instead, she’s just a frozen-in-time version of her virginal teenage self, and an annoyingly patronizing clean beauty-rainforest saving-near vegetarian (etc, etc) one at that.
The set up is nicely angsty, and has a few good but all-too-brief moments of his regret in leaving her, but this one really has nothing I enjoyed. In trying to turn this heroine into such an admirable paragon of virtue, the author instead made her a tiresome bore.
The set up is nicely angsty, and has a few good but all-too-brief moments of his regret in leaving her, but this one really has nothing I enjoyed. In trying to turn this heroine into such an admirable paragon of virtue, the author instead made her a tiresome bore.
September 2, 2022
Wish PJ was still around and we could beg her to write epilogues for all her books. This one really badly needed an epilogue for closure but here I was flipping pages to a dead end. Sigh
A really tender tale of your first love with your bro’s bff at that. I kinda died right there. Also caution: there is much monologue because the h is constantly going back and forth in her head to fight her constant trips to their past.
The h is eighteen and deeply in love with the H, her older bro’s bff. Right in the middle of her making wedding plans and babies, the H rudely takes off to another continent and puts the blame at her door for requiring ambition at that stage in life as opposed to settling down.
The h is heart broken and comes a long way. Now it’s eleven some years later and she’s made a business woman out of her. She’s confident and plays it cool. I thought she could tone down her coolness a little bit.
Soon enough, the H is back to the UK having been away for over a decade. He’s made his millions and is back to their village and has purchased a property that he always had his eye on. The h and H meet. The chemistry is cracking.
There is a new awakening to the dull and morose h. She is jittery and constantly teary eyed around the H and loses all her composed disdain. The H also subtlety keeps pursuing her for company or lunch.
The angst is high but the H was a nice man. He was ready to fight for love this time. I’d have liked to see some jealousy on his part but there wasn’t much competition. The h was really not bending for anyone at all except the H. Their HEA was really hot. I just needed moreeeeee
A really tender tale of your first love with your bro’s bff at that. I kinda died right there. Also caution: there is much monologue because the h is constantly going back and forth in her head to fight her constant trips to their past.
The h is eighteen and deeply in love with the H, her older bro’s bff. Right in the middle of her making wedding plans and babies, the H rudely takes off to another continent and puts the blame at her door for requiring ambition at that stage in life as opposed to settling down.
The h is heart broken and comes a long way. Now it’s eleven some years later and she’s made a business woman out of her. She’s confident and plays it cool. I thought she could tone down her coolness a little bit.
Soon enough, the H is back to the UK having been away for over a decade. He’s made his millions and is back to their village and has purchased a property that he always had his eye on. The h and H meet. The chemistry is cracking.
There is a new awakening to the dull and morose h. She is jittery and constantly teary eyed around the H and loses all her composed disdain. The H also subtlety keeps pursuing her for company or lunch.
The angst is high but the H was a nice man. He was ready to fight for love this time. I’d have liked to see some jealousy on his part but there wasn’t much competition. The h was really not bending for anyone at all except the H. Their HEA was really hot. I just needed moreeeeee
October 21, 2013
This is another foray into the past with Penny Jordan - this time the era we are exploring is 1992. All of those nineties issues are up for discussion here, including fashion (our hero, Robert, possesses a fantastic leather jacket in the blouson style so popular in that era), green issues (the heroine is very concerned with this in the manufacturing of the cosmetics she makes), women's issues (our heroine is a self-made business success in the green cosmetics trade - in fact she reminded me a lot of the lady who started the Body Shop, and if I know Jordan and her research methods, was probably actually based on this person), new wealth and women's lifestyle choices.
The heroine is Holly who has had a previous relationship with Graham when she was 18, fallen madly in love with him and never got over the fact that he then left for America to make his fortune, quite happy to leave her behind him. Holly has ploughed all her energies into founding something that sounds suspiciously similar to The Body Shop and becoming very successful as a result. She's the archetypal 90s woman - independent, strong, but with all those 90s businessmen she is forced to work with undermining her every step of the way (I remember it well - although Holly does make them all go out and stand at a busy junction on a friday afternoon, just to convey the message to her sales people that they need to keep their business mileage down - that sort of thing would get on anybody's nerves.)
Now Graham has returned and wants to pick up where they left off. Holly is still too hurt to do that. "...she did not have the husband she had longed for, nor the children he would have given her. And yet she was content... more than content, and she had learned enough now to know that a woman could have a fulfilled and very happy life without a man in it." (p. 106) and she keeps telling herself that whilst they play an elaborate game of cat and mouse until the inevitable happy ending.
There's a lot going on in this one - the scenes with the garden are particularly interesting I felt and there's even some gothic imagery and language in the way the heroine confesses her feelings for Robert to herself. It's not perfect - there's an inconsistency in that the heroine initially describes the hallway to her house as peach (there's a nineties colour if ever there was one), with peach walls and carpet. Later, the hero carries her into the house after she's obligingly fallen asleep in his car and notes the hallway's stone-flagged floor. It does make you wonder if the editors ever read these books. Still, it's worth a look this one - even if it's not the best one I've ever read of hers. The cover alone is worth it - in my vintage 90s edition, Robert looks like he's checking she's not got nits before puckering up for a kiss. Fabulous.
The heroine is Holly who has had a previous relationship with Graham when she was 18, fallen madly in love with him and never got over the fact that he then left for America to make his fortune, quite happy to leave her behind him. Holly has ploughed all her energies into founding something that sounds suspiciously similar to The Body Shop and becoming very successful as a result. She's the archetypal 90s woman - independent, strong, but with all those 90s businessmen she is forced to work with undermining her every step of the way (I remember it well - although Holly does make them all go out and stand at a busy junction on a friday afternoon, just to convey the message to her sales people that they need to keep their business mileage down - that sort of thing would get on anybody's nerves.)
Now Graham has returned and wants to pick up where they left off. Holly is still too hurt to do that. "...she did not have the husband she had longed for, nor the children he would have given her. And yet she was content... more than content, and she had learned enough now to know that a woman could have a fulfilled and very happy life without a man in it." (p. 106) and she keeps telling herself that whilst they play an elaborate game of cat and mouse until the inevitable happy ending.
There's a lot going on in this one - the scenes with the garden are particularly interesting I felt and there's even some gothic imagery and language in the way the heroine confesses her feelings for Robert to herself. It's not perfect - there's an inconsistency in that the heroine initially describes the hallway to her house as peach (there's a nineties colour if ever there was one), with peach walls and carpet. Later, the hero carries her into the house after she's obligingly fallen asleep in his car and notes the hallway's stone-flagged floor. It does make you wonder if the editors ever read these books. Still, it's worth a look this one - even if it's not the best one I've ever read of hers. The cover alone is worth it - in my vintage 90s edition, Robert looks like he's checking she's not got nits before puckering up for a kiss. Fabulous.
March 23, 2017
This is one of my favourite tropes, the reunion where neither protagonist has been spending the intervening time with other relationships. But eleven years ten months?
Yes, gentle readers, the hero remembers exactly how long it is since he abandoned Holly. In these older romances, we don't get the male POV very often so it's clues like this that tell us how the hero is feeling or what he is thinking. We do get some POV from Robert, but the book is largely from the POV of our heroine, Holly.
Holly has spent the last decade turning her love for plants into a growing business creating makeup and toiletries from natural products. This has become her whole life, with men only a peripheral distraction. The rejection of her one true love has left her certain that she has nothing to offer a man.
Robert regretted his cruel dumping of Holly almost immediately. We have a hero who admits to crying and who panics when he thinks the heroine has decided he isn't worth listening to. He is adorable. Holly often acts like a first class bitch but she is fighting a rearguard action to protect her shattered heart so we forgive her.
I love these older Jordan books with their faithful heroes and slightly hysterical heroines. If I have one criticism is the perfection of the heroine in looks. As if having a large bust is a bad thing on an otherwise slender and perfect body. Having read a batch of her books, it's very clear. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed this reread of an old favourite. The ending is satisfying.
Yes, gentle readers, the hero remembers exactly how long it is since he abandoned Holly. In these older romances, we don't get the male POV very often so it's clues like this that tell us how the hero is feeling or what he is thinking. We do get some POV from Robert, but the book is largely from the POV of our heroine, Holly.
Holly has spent the last decade turning her love for plants into a growing business creating makeup and toiletries from natural products. This has become her whole life, with men only a peripheral distraction. The rejection of her one true love has left her certain that she has nothing to offer a man.
Robert regretted his cruel dumping of Holly almost immediately. We have a hero who admits to crying and who panics when he thinks the heroine has decided he isn't worth listening to. He is adorable. Holly often acts like a first class bitch but she is fighting a rearguard action to protect her shattered heart so we forgive her.
I love these older Jordan books with their faithful heroes and slightly hysterical heroines. If I have one criticism is the perfection of the heroine in looks. As if having a large bust is a bad thing on an otherwise slender and perfect body. Having read a batch of her books, it's very clear. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed this reread of an old favourite. The ending is satisfying.
June 27, 2017
Holly and Robert were love. She knew that they would get married, have babies and live a perfect life. Then Robert told her he didn't love her and he had bigger and better plans for his future and so should she.
10 years later, Holly is a prominent businesswoman making a real name for herself when an extraordinarily successful Robert comes back into her life. All the old pain and devastation are back. She tries to fight her feelings for him but he leaves her feeling vulnerable.
Robert is back in England because he wants a chance to win the love of his life back. But she wants nothing to do with him. He regrets hurting her the way he did 10 years earlier and wants a chance to rebuild the love they shared, but Holly continually freezes him out.
It is so obvious that these two love each other. Holly's coldness is her self protection from the pain the Robert inflicted on her. He knows he hit her, but in doing so, hurt himself as well. While they both want and love each other, the gulf between them seems way to big to bridge.
Loved this book. This is a perfect example of why PJ will always be one of my favorite HP authors.
10 years later, Holly is a prominent businesswoman making a real name for herself when an extraordinarily successful Robert comes back into her life. All the old pain and devastation are back. She tries to fight her feelings for him but he leaves her feeling vulnerable.
Robert is back in England because he wants a chance to win the love of his life back. But she wants nothing to do with him. He regrets hurting her the way he did 10 years earlier and wants a chance to rebuild the love they shared, but Holly continually freezes him out.
It is so obvious that these two love each other. Holly's coldness is her self protection from the pain the Robert inflicted on her. He knows he hit her, but in doing so, hurt himself as well. While they both want and love each other, the gulf between them seems way to big to bridge.
Loved this book. This is a perfect example of why PJ will always be one of my favorite HP authors.
October 7, 2010
Pretty good read. The hero actually didn't make my flesh crawl for a change in a Penny Jordan. Oh, sure, it was still an idiot in a lot of ways, but learning his story and his path to redemption in the heroine's eyes made me like him a little. Just a little. :-)
September 3, 2022
Dnf at 39%
I don't know why lately it's becoming so hard for me to finish a book, I was so bored while reading this one.
There was a lot and I mean a lot of details that I had no choice but to skip. Holly's monologue annoyed me so much.. She's a successful business woman in her thirties and yet she behaves like a teenager!
What I find hard to believe is loving someone for 10 years even after he broke your heart and left you behind without a single hesitation!
And even if she's still in love with him, I don't understand how can her body gets excited by him so easily !! She explained that for 10 years she never felt any sexual desire for other men!!!! And when she met Robert BAM her body suddenly remembered that he has sexual needs??? Is Robert the only one carrying a manhood?
I'm not trying to be harsh on this book but I'm really giving my honest opinion here, I'm sorry but I just couldn't keep reading it.
I don't know why lately it's becoming so hard for me to finish a book, I was so bored while reading this one.
There was a lot and I mean a lot of details that I had no choice but to skip. Holly's monologue annoyed me so much.. She's a successful business woman in her thirties and yet she behaves like a teenager!
What I find hard to believe is loving someone for 10 years even after he broke your heart and left you behind without a single hesitation!
And even if she's still in love with him, I don't understand how can her body gets excited by him so easily !! She explained that for 10 years she never felt any sexual desire for other men!!!! And when she met Robert BAM her body suddenly remembered that he has sexual needs??? Is Robert the only one carrying a manhood?
I'm not trying to be harsh on this book but I'm really giving my honest opinion here, I'm sorry but I just couldn't keep reading it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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March 22, 2013Ea este Moira, nu Holly ca in descrierea cartii de pe goodreads.com...
Oare de ce in aceea dimineata o luase pe drumul spre castel? Pentru a castiga cateva minute pentru a ajunge la o intalnire de afaceri, Moira reuseste sa provoace intalnirea atat de temuta. Impietrita nu-si poate lua ochii de la silueta inalta a barbatului care inainta spre ea. Robert Graham...intors in tara dupa 12 ani de absenta. 12 ani nesfarsiti, timp in care Moira incercase fara succes sa-l uite, sa devina o alta, o luptatoare. Crezuse c-a reusit, dar iata ca Robert revenise si o data cu el, revenise si fantoma acelei adolescente tematoare si indragostita. Nu, era insuportabil...Niciodata nu trebuie sa-i mai permita lui Robert sa puna stapanire pe ea! Niciodata !...
foarte ciudat cum dupa 12 ani, dragostea mai este acolo, iar povestea continua ca si cand ar fi fost 1 luna...acum ei au 30 de ani - Moira, iar el -35.
nu se prea precizeaza ce anume i-a despartit, doar dorinta si certitudinea lui ca trebuie sa o paraseasca, sa devina cineva !
Love story clasic !
Oare de ce in aceea dimineata o luase pe drumul spre castel? Pentru a castiga cateva minute pentru a ajunge la o intalnire de afaceri, Moira reuseste sa provoace intalnirea atat de temuta. Impietrita nu-si poate lua ochii de la silueta inalta a barbatului care inainta spre ea. Robert Graham...intors in tara dupa 12 ani de absenta. 12 ani nesfarsiti, timp in care Moira incercase fara succes sa-l uite, sa devina o alta, o luptatoare. Crezuse c-a reusit, dar iata ca Robert revenise si o data cu el, revenise si fantoma acelei adolescente tematoare si indragostita. Nu, era insuportabil...Niciodata nu trebuie sa-i mai permita lui Robert sa puna stapanire pe ea! Niciodata !...
foarte ciudat cum dupa 12 ani, dragostea mai este acolo, iar povestea continua ca si cand ar fi fost 1 luna...acum ei au 30 de ani - Moira, iar el -35.
nu se prea precizeaza ce anume i-a despartit, doar dorinta si certitudinea lui ca trebuie sa o paraseasca, sa devina cineva !
Love story clasic !
June 1, 2014
Rating: 2.5 stars
A predictable read that is fairly typical of this genre. The hero and heroine were both likeable characters. But 10 years?! Really?! That's a long time period to try to explain away, and I wasn't fully satisfied with the reasons.
A predictable read that is fairly typical of this genre. The hero and heroine were both likeable characters. But 10 years?! Really?! That's a long time period to try to explain away, and I wasn't fully satisfied with the reasons.
April 7, 2023
So many mixed feelings here. On the one hand, it was refreshing to have "he was a dick and made a mistake" as the reason for a break-up as opposed to "a big miscommunication" or "third-party lies." Sometimes I just wish authors would say, "Hey, they screwed up and threw away the relationship and now want to fix it" a little more instead of not allowing their MCs to make mistakes.
On the other hand, both characters made me want to slap them around a little. Holly "trembled violently" over things like learning that she'd almost walked into an unsound building, or with passion, or with fear because she'd told Robert she loved him and he didn't immediately respond. She got migraines or physically ill if he showed up to events with other women (which btw, she usually attended with an OM who never pretended to be much competition).
Robert was pretty slap-worthy as well. He broke it off with Holly 12 years ago by telling her he'd lied about loving her and all she had ever been was a good time, so he could concentrate on his career and give her closure on their relationship. Then when he comes back, he seems honestly disappointed that he might have to communicate his feelings in some way other than dubious consent kisses and early morning smexy times. Like, you spent months shtooping her only to tell her at the end of it you'd been lying to her about your feelings the whole time. But you're all sad-Pikachu now because she doesn't immediately assume you're back for her and that your smexy-times might have meant nothing to you? C'mon my dude, do better.
But I did like how Holly had a successful career and social life outside of Robert, a rarity in my experience for early-90s, second-chance novels. I felt like we couldn't be friends because she'd be bitching at me all the time for driving a car to work every day instead of riding a bike ten miles one-way, but at least she thought about something other than him from time to time. And when her brother comes back from the rainforest with some new miracle elixir, all I could think was, If you want to save the rainforest, for god's sake don't market that! The last thing the rainforest needs is for some miracle product to come from it that the pharmaceutical/beauty industry can exploit. But still, I liked what PJ was trying to do, at least.
At the end of the day, this was a little different from what I usually see in early-90s books -- but not in a bad way -- but I'm not sure I'd recommend it to anyone, especially if you dislike TSTL characters.
On the other hand, both characters made me want to slap them around a little. Holly "trembled violently" over things like learning that she'd almost walked into an unsound building, or with passion, or with fear because she'd told Robert she loved him and he didn't immediately respond. She got migraines or physically ill if he showed up to events with other women (which btw, she usually attended with an OM who never pretended to be much competition).
Robert was pretty slap-worthy as well. He broke it off with Holly 12 years ago by telling her he'd lied about loving her and all she had ever been was a good time, so he could concentrate on his career and give her closure on their relationship. Then when he comes back, he seems honestly disappointed that he might have to communicate his feelings in some way other than dubious consent kisses and early morning smexy times. Like, you spent months shtooping her only to tell her at the end of it you'd been lying to her about your feelings the whole time. But you're all sad-Pikachu now because she doesn't immediately assume you're back for her and that your smexy-times might have meant nothing to you? C'mon my dude, do better.
But I did like how Holly had a successful career and social life outside of Robert, a rarity in my experience for early-90s, second-chance novels. I felt like we couldn't be friends because she'd be bitching at me all the time for driving a car to work every day instead of riding a bike ten miles one-way, but at least she thought about something other than him from time to time. And when her brother comes back from the rainforest with some new miracle elixir, all I could think was, If you want to save the rainforest, for god's sake don't market that! The last thing the rainforest needs is for some miracle product to come from it that the pharmaceutical/beauty industry can exploit. But still, I liked what PJ was trying to do, at least.
At the end of the day, this was a little different from what I usually see in early-90s books -- but not in a bad way -- but I'm not sure I'd recommend it to anyone, especially if you dislike TSTL characters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 28, 2021
Another Penny Jordan that could have been pretty good had it answered the question it asked by more action and dialogue and less inner agonizing. Holly has made a life for herself after Robert callously dumped her. She went to college and turned her chemistry degree and love of nature and gardening into a natural beauty products business.
Robert slept with her all summer, talked of love and happiness together, then told her he didn't love her and left for the US. Holly didn't allow herself to believe any man or any romance after that.
Now Robert is back and while he doesn't come out and say so clearly, it's obvious he wants to get back with Holly. The question is whether she can forgive the enormous hurt and love him back. Sadly Jordan spends about 30% of the book inside Holly's head where she thinks through this over and over and over and over again.
Robert slept with her all summer, talked of love and happiness together, then told her he didn't love her and left for the US. Holly didn't allow herself to believe any man or any romance after that.
Now Robert is back and while he doesn't come out and say so clearly, it's obvious he wants to get back with Holly. The question is whether she can forgive the enormous hurt and love him back. Sadly Jordan spends about 30% of the book inside Holly's head where she thinks through this over and over and over and over again.
August 27, 2022
Holly and Robert were young lovers. Holly thought their love would last forever, but eventually Robert told her he had to go and make his way in the world. Years later Robert returns, realizing his mistake. Will Holly give him a second chance?
I’m not crazy about books where the hero leaves the heroine, especially if he supposedly loves her. But I really enjoyed this romance. Robert realized his mistake and went out of his way to win Holly back. He was quite a besotted hero, and they both remained celibate for over a decade, so they obviously were made for each other.
Another terrific read by Penny Jordan.
I’m not crazy about books where the hero leaves the heroine, especially if he supposedly loves her. But I really enjoyed this romance. Robert realized his mistake and went out of his way to win Holly back. He was quite a besotted hero, and they both remained celibate for over a decade, so they obviously were made for each other.
Another terrific read by Penny Jordan.
April 18, 2020
....Why didn't the hero just apologize? I mean seriously. Instead of round about talking about him being so young, so selfish. How about: 'hey I hurt you and me when I broke up with you and left, I came back to see if you still felt anything for me. And we might get to know each other again, because you've haunted me all these years.' He expects the heroine to put herself out on a limb to be kicked down again. Your turn fool. Not fun. Skip.
December 14, 2022
Nothing happened. She was 18, he was 22 when he went to the States to attend Harvard, after 6 months of dating. She thought they would get married and have kids (right away I guess). For 12 years, she never slept with anyone else. When he came back to their hometown, he was very chill, not the typical overbearing type that was typical in these books. She spent a lot of time staring off into space. I don't know how this was 217 pages. 2.5
October 10, 2020
Loved this story women taking the leap of faith in the end, after the guy try's to save what he thought he lost.
Very sweet and glad they had there own version of a fairy god mother.
Just the kind of a mills and boons I enjoy.
Very sweet and glad they had there own version of a fairy god mother.
Just the kind of a mills and boons I enjoy.
May 17, 2021
Boring. H and h got seperated because of the selfish Hero, who had his future planned without the heroine. And after 10 years, the hero come back with more money and likes to start from where he left.
March 17, 2019
This could have been a good angsty story but somehow it fell flat and I ended up skimming most of it.
July 8, 2019
Not her best
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