Extravagant Expectations: New Ways To Find Romantic Love In America

by Paul Hollander

The proliferation of dating websites, printed personals and self-help relationship books reflect the new ways Americans seek close, personal relationships. Exposed to changing and often conflicting values, trends, and fashions―disseminated by popular culture, advertising and assorted "experts"―Americans face uncertainties about the best ways to meet important emotional and social needs. How do we establish lasting and intimate personal relationships including marriage?

In Extravagant Expectations Paul Hollander investigates how Americans today pursue romantic relationships, with special reference to the advantages and drawbacks of Internet dating compared to connections made in school, college, and the workplace. By analyzing printed personals, dating websites, and advice offered by pop psychology books, he examines the qualities that people seek in a partner and also assesses the influence of the remaining conventional ideas of romantic love. Hollander suggests that notions of romantic love have changed due to conflicting values and expectations and the impact of pragmatic considerations. Individualism, high expectations, social and geographic mobility, changing sex roles, and the American national character all play a part in this fascinating and finally sobering exploration of men and women to find love and meaning in life.

Genres: Sociology

264 pages, Hardcover

First published March 16, 2011

About the author

American political sociologist, communist-studies scholar, and non-fiction author. He is known for his criticisms of communism and left-wing politics in general. Born in 1932 in Hungary, he fled to the West after the Hungarian Revolution of 1956 was bloodily put down by Soviet forces.
Hollander earned a Ph.D in Sociology from Princeton University, 1963 and a B.A. from the London School of Economics, 1959. He was Professor of Sociology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and a Center Associate of the Davis Center for Russian and Eurasian Studies at Harvard University. He was a member of the advisory council of the Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation.

Reviews

[Genevieve · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to really engage with this book. After the first 75 pages or so, I was drawn in. I think the last chapter is the best. But reading the 199 pages before it really allows the final conclusion to pack a nice punch! The final observations about individualism, modernity, and romanticism were eye-opening and insightful (granted, this is probably my second book on the subject). I would and did recommend this to friends. Especially since it is easy to read and see how people you know (self included) are guilty of the ways of our times.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the author cites some interesting studies and makes some interesting points, there are far too many sweeping generalizations made about gender, family, society, etc., to take much of it seriously. There are also a few typos which detract from the book's credibility.

[Mills College Library]

306.73409 H7374 2011