Talking with God

by Robert L. Millet

Even when we believe in the value of prayer, many of us do not make it a priority or long for a more meaningful prayer life. In this book, Brother Millet explores the dimensions of prayer in an engaging, personal way.

A valuable guide to making our prayers more effective and inspiring. Shows how consistent, sincere prayer can transform us into better men and women. Covers a wide variety of topics, including: preparation for prayer, fasting and prayer, prayers of gratitude, receiving help from the other side, and what to do when no clear answer comes. Inspires renewed gratitude for the privilege of prayer and a deeper appreciation of the blessings it brings.

Genres: Lds, Religion, Nonfiction, Church, Christian, Lds Non Fiction

160 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Robert L. Millet, professor of ancient scripture and former dean of Religious Education at Brigham Young University, holds a master s degree in psychology from BYU and a Ph.D. in religious studies from Florida State University. He is a popular speaker and prolific writer whose other books include Lost and Found: Reflections on the Prodigal Son; Grace Works; and More Holiness Give Me. He and his wife, Shauna, have six children and live in Provo, Utah.

Reviews

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed the reminder to be a prayer warrior. Read this book slowly to take it all in.

[Rebecca Dehart Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was hesitant to pick up this book because I didn't think I had much to learn about prayer. I figured prayer was basic and the only thing I needed to improve was to pray more often and not so distractedly. I was very wrong. I am so glad I didn't talk myself out of reading this. It was so insightful. I was greatly humbled by this man's inspirational thoughts and I learned so much from his words of wisdom. In the introduction, Brother Millet discusses all the reasons why we pray and I liked all of them but there was one statement that greatly affected me. Brother Millet writes, "For the unconverted, prayer may seem a burden or at best a duty. But for the seasoned Saint, one who has begun to grow up in the Lord and mature in the gifts and fruit of the Spirit, prayer is a blessed opportunity, a consummate privilege, a remarkable honor for a finite, fallen creature to be allowed and even commanded to communicate with an infinite, pure, and glorified Being."

[Ben Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

1-10 Takeaways:
1) "We need to win the battle of the prayer threshold" (Stott). Meaningful prayer seems to have an element of wrestling (Genesis 32; Enos 1; etc.).
2) "There is power in a name, particularly when that name opens doors, unlocks opportunities and, equips us to act and speak with authority." Christ enjoys a supernal relationship with God the Father. When we use Christ's name in prayer/ordinances, we are better equipped to "come boldly unto the throne of grace" (Hebrews 4:16).
3) Even if we are worthy, "the Holy Ghost [may] not tarry with [us], but visit [us] from time to time" (Joseph F. Smith). This concept first being presented in D&C 130:23. So, there will be times when we prayerfully ask God for direction and not be able to discern His guidance. We can then act confidently following our best judgement, knowing that God "is bound to own and honor that [decision]" (Brigham Young). Righteous behavior can then be from both clear divine direction and, in the absence of revelation, from our best judgement (D&C 46:9).
4) We should be cautious in surrendering our wills/agency to God in prayer. If we are not prepared to keep our word and instead absent-mindfully rescind our offer, we are in a dangerous spot (similar to Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5). Through Christ's grace, we can eventually offer our wills to God with complete sincerity (D&C 109:44).
5) During Christ's mortal life, He had the power to command miracles that would comfort Him (causing His favorite food to appear, legions of angels to entertain/distract Him from His sorrows, etc.); but, He relied on communing with His Father through prayer for comfort.
6) This seems to be the progression of prayer: 6.1) Prayer/action guided by the Holy Ghost (don't have to like it but you do it anyway). 6.2) Prayer/action guided by the Holy Ghost without any feelings of resentment/enmity. 6.3) After developing spiritual instincts, undergo seasons of not receiving explicit promptings from prayer; but instead, act out of your best judgement. 6.4) Counsel with God as you co-create your future. It can be a wrestle where God can not only be wrong but also corrected (Genesis 32:22-32; Exodus 32:10-14). At this point, it is no longer fitting for you to blindly follow God or treat Him like a "cosmic vending machine" (Christofferson). 6.5) Develop a rapport with God where He knows that you will not "ask amiss" and makes it so all things will be done "according to thy word" (2 Nephi 4:35; Heleman 10:5).

1-10 Questions:
1) I read this book because I wanted to experience divine empathy through prayer (2 Nephi 4:20-25; Alma 31:31-36). I am pretty weak in this area of prayer/faith. I guess I could just simply pray to God and say, "I'm sad about ___. Couldst Thou fill me with Thy love?" But, every time i have prayed along these lines, it feels pretty hollow/uneventful. Any advice? Unfortunately, this book didn't help with this question.
2) Christ suffered for our sins/sinful natures from freshly organized spirits to glorified gods and goddesses; but, at what point does He stop enabling us by "lending [us] breath" (Mosiah 2:21)? Do we every become self-sustaining?
3) Are LDS books getting more and more skinny (light reading focus)?

[Beth Given · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book on prayer to be really helpful for me. The points were not belabored -- Brother Millet even notes in the conclusion that he originally anticipated this book to be much longer -- but then decided that less would be more and to only include a few pages on each of the many subtopics he wanted to discuss. I appreciated the mix of personal experiences and scripture. This was one of the most highly readable doctrinal books I've come across.

I do think this have changed my prayer habits, as well. I know that prayer is a fundamental habit of every Christian, but I have always struggled with it, in part because I know how imperfect my prayers are in both frequency and depth. The chapter "Not All Prayers Are Alike" helped me realize that, if Christ (a perfect being) could "pray more earnestly" at times, then it is okay for some of my prayers to be of varying qualities, as well. I liked the chapter entitled "Petitions God Delight to Honor" as I considered that God would be happy for me to ask for certain characteristics (rather than frustrated that I didn't already have them). I appreciated the acknowledgement in the chapter "When We Don't Feel Like Praying" that there are times when we are rushed or tired or grumpy and don't want to pray (and then the encouragement that we must do it anyway!).

Each chapter, actually, added a richness to my knowledge on prayer. I don't know whether there was anything really "new" or novel in his words, but Brother Millet's authenticity (with scripturally-based answers to real-life stumbling blocks) helped guide me in an added richness to my prayers. I'm really glad I read it!

[Abbi · Rating 3 out of 5]

some really good nuggets here. but yikes do i think i’m becoming a snob because i was looking for soul-searing prose a la the givens, while this was just nice testimonial. but i highlighted dozens of sections nonetheless. :)

[Jaclyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Confession: I do not finish nine out of ten books that are written on the topic of religion and spirituality. It's not that the topics don't appeal to me, but that the books are dry or unengaging. More often than not, this type of book is too lengthy, and I am left musing not on the things of God, but rather on who the writer's editor is.

Amazingly enough, I completed Millet's "Talking With God" and I completed it in a timely manner (those two things are often mutually exclusive). Millet's premise is very simple - he believes that these divine conversations we are privileged to have can transform our daily lives. He does not preach or talk down to his reader, but instead talks as he would to a friend or neighbor about his personal insights and experiences. Though Millet is an LDS author, the book is not written exclusively for members of the Church. He cites theologians from many Christian denominations and references multiple translations of the Bible, which only strengthens the points that he makes throughout his writing.

I cannot say that I loved "Talking With God" because the style of religious texts, as previously mentioned, does not usually appeal to me (unless written by Jeffrey R. Holland). However, there is something to be said for the fact that I finished this book and that I have a dozen post-its sticking out of it for ideas and concepts I want to revisit in future personal study.

The one post-it that I keep going back to has to do with our preparation for prayer - so often, we rattle off our daily prayers or our meal prayers just because we're supposed to. We say the same rote phrases that our parents taught us to say without thinking twice about the meaning behind them. Millet asks what type of preparation we would put into meeting someone important - the President of the United States, the Prophet, or anyone else that you have dreamed of meeting. He asserts that we would never rush into a meeting like that. We would stop and think ahead of time about things to discuss, key questions that we want answered, etc. I was taken aback by this concept because immediately when Millet had posed the idea of meeting someone so important, my mind went a million different directions. Who would I want to meet? What would I want to talk to them about? I think I imagined half a dozen people (oddly enough, alive and dead) before I realized my eyes were still moving over words I wasn't taking in. I realized in reading that section and in thinking back over it that I do not prepare adequately for my conversations with The Important Person. I can do better. For that insight alone, this book was worth my time reading it.

So read it or not, the choice is yours. Either way, I hope you're enjoying what it is in currently on your nightstand. And if there is nothing there right now, we need to talk. You know my number....

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the way Robert Millet thinks... Enjoyed this book, but not as much as some of his others. A couple of memorable quotes, "We pray, not to change God's mind but rather to learn the will of God and then to align our own will to His." pg 5 and pg 42 "Very often the Almighty answers peoples prayers - the prayers of the lonely, the down trodden, the hungry, the bitter - through other people, through those sensitive souls who open themselves to inspiration and are willing to be inconvenienced." - Amen -

[Tamra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book inspiring in a lot of ways and it certainly gave me some food for thought but it wasn't the kind of book about prayer that I was hoping for. A quick read with some uplifting insights.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brief, insightful look at prayer. Increased my desire to commune with God in meaningful prayer.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

When No Clear Answer Comes

excerpt chapter 7;

The Spirit of the Lord is not something that may be programmed, plotted out, manufactured, or elicited; the influence of the Holy Ghost certainly cannot be demanded or coerced. We cannot force spiritual things. Jesus said to Nicodemus: “Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit” (John 3:7–8). The Prophet Joseph Smith likewise taught that “a man may receive the Holy Ghost, and it may descend upon him and not tarry with him” (D&C 130:23). We know that the Spirit will not dwell with those who are unclean and thus unworthy of its companionship (1 Corinthians 3:16–17; 6:19; compare 1 Nephi 10:21; 15:34; Alma 7:21; 3 Nephi 27:19).

In addition, we cannot always tell when we will be filled with the Spirit and when we will not. We may end the day on fire with the power of the Spirit, rejoicing in our blessings, grateful for the closeness we have felt to the Lord. When we arise a few short hours later, it would not be uncommon to feel as though we had lost something, to feel that the distance between us and Deity had increased dramatically. We ask ourselves, “What happened? Did we do something to change what we were feeling only a short time ago?”

President Joseph F. Smith taught that “every elder of the Church who has received the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, by one having authority, has power to confer that gift upon another; it does not follow that a man who has received the presentation or gift of the Holy Ghost shall always receive the recognition and witness and presence of the Holy Ghost himself, or he may receive all these, and yet the Holy Ghost not tarry with him, but visit him from time to time.” President Smith also observed that “the Holy Spirit, or the Holy Ghost, may be conferred upon men, and he may dwell with them for a while, or he may continue to dwell with them in accordance with their worthiness, and he may depart from them at his will.”

Just because we may not always recognize the workings of the Spirit in our lives does not mean that the Spirit is not with us. In looking back over the past forty years of my life, I find that I have had a variety of experiences with the Spirit and with receiving answers to prayer. Many prayers have been answered so directly, so clearly, so unambiguously that there was no doubt as to the course I should follow. On the other hand, many times when I have gone before the Lord in deep sincerity, hungering and thirsting for insight and direction, I have pondered and prayed and pleaded and wrestled and waited upon the Lord. So far as I could tell, I was not guilty of serious sin, and yet no clear answer was forthcoming. President Brigham Young taught us what our course should be in such cases: “If I do not know the will of my Father, and what He requires of me in a certain transaction, if I ask Him to give me wisdom concerning any requirement in life, or in regard to my own course, or that of my friends, my family, my children, or those that I preside over, and get no answer from Him, and then do the very best that my judgment will teach me, He is bound to own and honor that transaction, and He will do so to all intents and purposes.”

I believe there is more to President Young’s counsel than meets the eye. It is certainly true that we should pray with all our hearts for direction and then make the wisest decisions we can. It is my conviction, however, that even on those occasions when we feel so very alone—when we wonder if God is listening—if we are trusting in our Lord and Savior and relying upon his marvelous merits, the Lord is nonetheless directing our paths, for he has so promised us. No doubt there are seasons of our life when we are called upon to proceed without the clear recognition of the Spirit. Yet that does not mean we are alone. I believe that one day, when we are allowed to review the scenes of mortality from a grander perspective, we will be astounded at how closely the Lord directed our paths, orchestrated the events of our lives, and in general led us by that kindly light we know as the Holy Ghost.

Perhaps it is the case that over the years the Spirit of the Lord works in a quiet but consistent manner to educate our consciences, enhance our perspective, and polish our wisdom and judgment. After all, the Prophet Joseph explained that one of the major assignments of the Holy Ghost was to convey pure intelligence through “expanding the mind, enlightening the understanding, and storing the intellect with present knowledge.” It may be that one day we will look back on what we perceived at the time to be a season in which we were required to make decisions on our own, only to discover that the Lord had been, through the honing and refining processes in our souls, leading us along in paths of his choosing. That is, maybe we will learn that our own wisdom and judgment were not really our own.

Sometimes answers to our prayers do not come as quickly as we would like. We try and try again, too often concluding that God must not love us, must not hear us, or must have chosen not to answer. “The answers to our prayers come in the Lord’s due time,” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained. “Sometimes we may become frustrated that the Lord has delayed answering our prayers. In such times we need to understand that He knows what we do not know. He sees what we do not see. Trust in Him. He knows what is best for His child, and being a perfect God, He will answer our prayers perfectly and in the perfect time.”

Finally, it is worth noting that we may well have an experience with the Spirit, a genuine and true experience, and yet not know exactly what has taken place. Over the years it has been my privilege to work with Latter-day Saints who were struggling to repent of their sins and become clean before God. It has been one of the joys of Church service to witness the light growing in the countenance, the heart being softened, and the consciousness of right and wrong returning. But never in all my years has a member of the Church said to me, “I have been justified of the Spirit” or “I have entered the rest of God” or “I am redeemed of the Lord” or “I am born of the Spirit.” Those who have had their sins remitted and have renewed their covenant with Christ could, in fact, use any of those doctrinal phrases to describe their state or standing, and I would understand what they meant. Generally, they have said such things as “I feel good all over” or “I feel clean and pure” or “I am at peace.”

During the period of darkness before his visit to the Americas, Jesus spoke to the Nephites. “I am the light and the life of the world,” he said. “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. And ye shall offer up unto me no more the shedding of blood; yea, your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, for I will accept none of your sacrifices and your burnt offerings. And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost, even as the Lamanites, because of their faith in me at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not” (3 Nephi 9:18–20; emphasis added; see also Helaman 5). Far more significant than a theological explanation is the value of a religious experience; whether we can give a ten-minute discourse on spiritual rebirth matters but little when compared to the change of heart that such a rebirth brings.

The work of the kingdom—whether at 47 East South Temple Street in Salt Lake City or at our own address—goes forward hour by hour and day by day, even when the path is not clear for the time being. “Salvation cannot come without revelation,” Joseph Smith declared. “It is in vain for anyone to minister without it.” The Almighty has promised to point the way, and so we trust in his promises and wait upon him “in all patience and faith” (D&C 21:5), though on occasion we cry out, essentially,

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’ encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

Answers have come. Answers will continue to come, for “we believe that [God:] will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God” (Articles of Faith 1:9). God does not want us to proceed along the path of life on our own. - all excerpt MILLETT

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have enjoyed and learned from and been uplifted by every book I have read that was written by Bro. Millet. He seems to speak directly to my heart, and I often find myself recommending this book of his or that one to others in need of the same counsel or direction or comfort that I have found. Talking With God is another in that collection of "keepers." The following thoughts of mine accompanied by quotes from the book (and a few from other people) are but a small part of what I found inspiring and instructive within the covers of this book.

• “I am fully persuaded that one of the grand keys to individual revelation and guidance is a regular immersion in institutional revelation, namely, holy scripture.” This is directly related to David M. McConkie’s counsel in the October 2010 general conference in which he says that “it is contrary to the economy of heaven for the Lord to repeat to each of us individually what He has already revealed to us collectively.” The scriptures are our collective revelation.

• We need to find a place of peace to engage in prayer, and the better we can do that, the more powerfully we can pray. Sometimes that place of peace is a physical place, but other time it may be a place in our hearts and minds that is buffered against the intrusions of the world. Bro. Millet refers to this idea when he says, “Now, I don’t believe we need to go to England or Rome or Jerusalem or Salt Lake City to receive answers to our prayers, but I do believe that too often we seek the sacred in the midst of noise and confusion, when what we need most at the time is to get away, leave behind our troubles, forsake the radio and television, and escape into sweet simplicity and serenity.”

• So, the challenge is to find a place of peace from which to pray, and mostly that “place” needs to be within us. Psalms 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God.” Bro. Millet says “When we understand that vacate is a form of the Latin verb meaning “be still,” we can understand more fully what scholar Simon Tugwell meant when he said, ‘God invites us to take a holiday [vacation], to stop being God for a while, and let him be God.” That is for the control freaks among us, for the extreme security conscious among us (myself included), for those who need to know the end from the beginning.

• “To pray with earnestness for God’s will to be done may well prove inconvenient, unsettling to our self-centered world, and off-putting to those who want to “do their own thing” or “march to a different drummer.” This is a call for us to align ourselves with the purposes of heaven. It entails first a serious spiritual search to come to know what God wants done and then a consecrated effort to comply happily. To come unto Christ is a choice; it is a choice to be changed.” It is also a choice that needs to be properly placed in our priorities.

• Personal revelation seems to come more easily when prayer is combined with other powerful spiritual activities. As Bro. Millet says, “In many cases answers to our prayers come through promptings as we read and ponder on holy scripture.” I believe the same is true when prayer is combined with service to others, when we magnify our callings in the kingdom of God, when we fast with humility, or in any way that the combination of prayer with something else has the effect of drawing us into closer harmony with our Heavenly Father.

• We may, and should be, part of our Heavenly Father’s answers to the prayers of others. “Very often the Almighty answers people’s prayers – the prayers of the lonely, the downtrodden, the hungry, the bitter – through other people, through those sensitive souls who open themselves to inspiration and are willing to be inconvenienced.” We must be willing to be inconvenienced.

• Just because we do not know that our prayers have been answered doesn’t mean that God
has not done so. As I look back over my life, my prayers have too often been about short term, immediate issues, but with the perspective of decades, I can see now that many of Father’s answers have been much longer term in scope, and unnoticed by me at the time when I thought I had most need. As Bro. Millet says, “I believe that one day, when we are allowed to review the scenes of mortality from a grander perspective, we will be astounded at how closely the Lord directed our paths, orchestrated the events of our lives, and in general led us by that kindly light we know as the Holy Ghost.”

• And sometimes, we have spiritual experiences, answers to our prayers, yet do not recognize them as such. In the wisdom of the Lord, we sometimes receive such experiences though we may not be prepared or able to recognize them, and yet those experiences are as valuable to us as was the experiences of the Lamanites who ‘because of their faith in [the Lord] at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not’ (3 Nephi 9:20; emphasis added).

• What about when we don’t feel like praying? Brother Brigham once said, “It matters not whether you or I feel like praying, when the time comes to pray, pray. If we do not feel like it, we should pray till we do…You will find that those who wait till the Spirit bids them pray will never pray much on this earth.” Add to that Bro. Millet’s comment that “if we wait until some special, red-letter day to offer our all to the Almighty, the day may never come.” There is always something that seems better to do, more immediate, more critical, more attractive or fun or enticing or needful. Prayer falls into the category of what Covey called “urgent and important,” but we must never let the important be at the mercy of the urgent.

As another reviewer on Goodreads said, there is little that is new here, nor, I believe, should there be. Eternal principles, by definition, are timeless, and will necessarily be repeated over and over again. Our job is to listen, and to do our best to close the “knowing – doing gap.” I for one have found this book helpful in accomplishing that objective.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like reading Robert Millet's books, this one not on the top of my favorite list. Very basic information. Each Chapter has one main idea with a description of what this idea would entail. For example: "Chapter 12 - Much of the time God will answer our prayers through those about us in this world; at other times he will extend help from beyond the veil. Chapter 13 - If we are careful to avoid praying amiss, the Lord of glory, who delights to honor those who serve him faithfully, will gladly hear our cry and grant our requests. Chapter 14 - Praying “thy will be done” and meaning it require us to surrender our will to the Father. That surrender is extremely difficult; accomplishing it requires the strength and grace of God." This was taken from the summary at the end of the book.

Very good information, maybe I just didn't read it at the right time in my life.

[MariLee · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thought-provoking book about various aspects of prayer by former BYU Religious Education faculty member and dean. The chapters are relatively short and broken into different topics, allowing the reader to focus on one area at a time. Personal experiences are interwoven with scripture and supporting quotes from notable religious scholars and leaders. Each chapter also includes endnotes/reference sources so that the reader may continue their study on each topic if they like.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Personal Guide to A Personal Conversation with Heavenly Father

Using a combination of personal experiences, scriptures and a wide variety of other sources, the author powerfully explains the importance and impact of prayer for ourselves and the world.

[Rhett Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book

Very inspiring book about prayer and the blessing of can bring into our lives. Brother Miller does an excellent job describing the meaning behind prayer and I found that my faith in prayer has been strengthened because of this book.

[Emilee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book. The author spends each chapter focusing on a different aspect of prayer, and while much of it will be familiar, a lot of what he had to say struck me very deeply and made a real difference in how I approach my conversations with God.

[Rachel Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Next to the book Power of Stillness - I have learned so so much about how to “Talk with God”. I’m still working at it but I absolutely loved this book and grew so much. I will for sure reference and re-read sections for many many years to come!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the realness of this book. It had some great ways to help strength your prayers and relationship with God. It was very inspiring to me.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a keeper. I want to buy a copy for each of my children.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

I previously read this book and reviewed it very harshly. Probably more to do with where I was then, and little to do with the book itself. Really gained a lot from it this time around.

[Erneilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful counsel from a wise and inspired teacher.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and encouraging. "We pray, not to change God's mind but rather to learn the will of God and then to align our own will to His."

[Doug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspirational

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simple, but some powerful insights. The one that struck me was thinking about what it means to pray to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ.

[Jordan Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight on prayer. Easy to read and follow

[Jessika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good. I especially liked the short but powerful chapters.

[Molly Kelchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful and insightful points, but didn’t blow my mind. Felt a bit like reading talks from some high councilor that I’ve never met. Not a waste of time but I am looking for something deeper.

[Maren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great thoughts about the importance and different avenues to talking with God. Brought me a measure of hope that I can get back into paying.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always love Brother Millet's writing. He has such a great style and balance in how he communicates thoughts and ideas. This is a great short book about prayer that has motivated and inspired me.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me a lot to think about. Great insights into what prayer is, why it is important and how to make your prayers more meaningful.