I really liked this book. four stars because it got a little bit boring in the middle but then it really picked up at the end once again after a brilliant start. The book, as it says on the tin, is a comprehensive guide to helping you facilitate groups of individuals in a professional working environment. Some really good hints and tips in this book. Here are some of the best bits that I have shamelessly copied directly from the book:
This makes sense from a risk management perspective. For example if you run away from an apparent threat that turns out to be nothing, you just out of breath. But if you fail to run away from a threat that's real, you may end up permanently out of breath.
I've adopted the mutual learning approach from the work of argyris and schon , who developed it and called it model 2, and Robert Putnam, Diana McLean Smith, and Phil McArthur, who adapted it and called it the mutual learning model.
Overtime, I realized that requiring teams to make all their decisions using the same decision making rule, no matter what that rule is, fails to take into account the complexity of teams. Some decisions don't require consensus to be implemented effectively. And there are times too when even high performing teams are unable to reach consensus and the team needs to do a decision to move forward.
What it means to be accountable and accountability: You willingly accept the responsibilities inherent in your position to serve the well being of the organization. You're expected to serve the well being of the client and the larger organization or context in which it functions. You expect that your name will be publicly linked to your actions, words or reactions. You expect to be asked to explain your beliefs, decisions, commitments, or actions to your team and others you work with. When you operate from a unilateral control mindset, you may try to hold others accountable without making yourself accountable. Or you may not even ask team members to appear accountable because you don't want them to hold you accountable. When your mindset is mutual learning, not only do you want to hold others accountable but you also want to be held accountable. You don't see accountability as a burden but rather as a way to honor commitments you've made that will help you and others achieve results. A key principle for ensuring accountability is that all are responsible for sharing their information directly with those they want to hear it.
One of the mutual learning principles is to move towards the differences.
As Aristotle wrote in the nicomachean ethics: getting angry is easy. But to get angry with the right person, in the right way, for the right reasons, at the right time. That is not easy.
Good facilitation technique identify interests: ask group members to complete this sentence as many times as possible: “regardless of the specifics of any solution we develop it needs to be one that xxxxxxxx ” ...Record the answers in a single list of interests. If people keep identifying positions instead of interests ask them: “what is it about your solution that is important to you? This helps them to identify their underlying interests. (super powerful question)
Just like a real ladder the higher you climb the more dangerous it becomes. We climb up the ladder of inference higher than we need to when we make an inference that is further removed from the data than necessary. I call these high level inferences. You probably seen others make these high level inferences. Imagine that you make a suggestion for how to improve a project and a group member responds: “you're just trying to make me fail”. When you make high level inferences your final inference is supported by many other intermediary inferences. Like a House of Cards if one of those intermediary inferences is false the logic collapses and the final inference can't be supported. We have a clinical term for people who routinely make certain types of very high level negative inferences with little or no data: paranoid.
A good way of making sure that you've understood something: 1.observe. What did I see in her. 2.Make a meaning: using a mutual learning approach what do I think it means? 3.Choose: why is this worth or not worth saying something about? 4.Test observation: James, I think I saw or I heard you say XY or Z. Did I understand that right or did I miss something? 5.Test meeting: I'm thinking that this is what you meant and this is my understanding. What do you think? 6.Jointly design next steps: I think it would be helpful to do this as a form of next step. What do you think?
You can tell when there isn't a good fit. When a group is inappropriately made to work like a team, members don't see the need to attend team meetings. They consider them a waste of time. When they do attend they get frustrated being asked to solve peoples’ problems that don't significantly involve them and to spend time deciding how to work together on issues that don't require the level of coordination being asked of them.
The widely cited four stage Tuchman model of group development. Based on his review of 50 studies of mostly therapy groups, tuchman identified 4 development stages: forming, storming, norming and performing and then he later added a fifth stage adjourning.
If you work with people directly and have concerns about their work, you are accountable for sharing your concerns with them directly, whether they have more less or the same amount of authority as you.
A natural response to ambiguity and confusion as they try to impose some order. The challenge is to become comfortable with ambiguity and not impose order prematurely by rushing to inference and diagnosis. Diagnosing behavior prematurely reduces the probability that you understand important aspects of the group situation. One reason group behavior seems ambiguous at times is that you're observing a complex pattern, but the group has displayed only a part of it.
In the nicomachean ethics Aristotle defined the challenge of dealing with emotions this way: anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way: that is not easy.
The principle of the mutual learning approach is to move towards conflict and differences. By publicly identifying the conflict in the group and engaging people in a conversation about it you can help the group explore how people contribute to the conflict, how they're feeling about it and how to manage it. This is really aligned with the elephant in the room workshop and the brutiful conversations concept.
As a developmental facilitator you can help group participants respond effectively by reducing the defensive thinking associated with their hot buttons. This first involves working with them to identify the trigger and then helping them reframe their thinking. Some people find it difficult to respond effectively when a person, especially someone with less power or authority, raises his or her voice at them in anger. Granted, raising your voice yelling is not a particularly skillful way of communicating and those who do so are still accountable for their behavior, but people whose hot buttons are triggered by this behavior believe that a person yelling at them is showing disrespect for their official position on their personal dignity.
You might say: from your frown and head shaking I'm thinking that you're frustrated with me, am I correct? If the member agrees you can start to identify the cause of the frustration. I don't mean to do anything that will frustrate you, but I might be doing something I'm not aware of. Can you tell me what I said or did that lead you to get frustrated with me.
There are times when your intuition tells you something is wrong, but you can't identify any group behavior to make or diagnose or have stopped having identified the problem you may have doubts about how to intervene. When this happens consider asking the group for help. “I'm stunned. I'm stumped. I think the group is having a problem but I can't figure out what it is and I also can't point to any behavior that leads me to conclude this. Does anyone else see something that I'm not seeing?” Although it's not helpful to the group if you intervene like this frequently using it occasionally can use the group skill to allow you to see things you are missing and also shows vulnerability and transparency on your side.