Plainclothes Naked: A Darkly Comic Noir of Murder and Twisted Love

by Jerry Stahl

In a wildly careening plot that can only be described as crack noir, two pipeheads accidentally steal a photo of George W. Bush's presidential package and decide to blackmail the Republican Party. Before the crack-crazed thieves can follow through, however, gorgeous, whip-smart Nurse Tina, who's just offed her husband with a bowl of Drano-laced Lucky Charms, absconds with the goods. When Manny Rubert, a scarred ex-junkie turned codeine-popping detective, is called in to investigate the "foamer" hubby's untimely demise, love hits him like a wrench to the head.

Soon Manny and Tina are making plans of their own for the presidential pie -- and for their future together. But the meddling police chiefs and motel room sex-change surgeons of the world just won't leave them alone. And then there are those killer crackheads, still out there and closing in....

Genres: Fiction, Crime, Humor, Novels, Own

326 pages, Trade Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Jerry Stahl (born September 28, 1953) is an American novelist and screenwriter, He is best known for the darkly comedic tale of addiction, Permanent Midnight, which was revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted readers, as one of the most compelling, contemporary memoirs. A film adaptation soon followed with Ben Stiller in the lead role, which is widely considered to be Mr. Stiller’s breakthrough performance. Since their initial paring, the two have become lifelong friends and collaborators.

One of Stahl’s mentors and greatest influences, the late American Novelist, Hubert Selby, Jr. had this to say about Permanent Midnight, “Absolutely compelling... Permanent Midnight is an extraordinary accomplishment... A remarkable book that will be of great value to people who feel isolated, alienated, and overwhelmed by the circumstances of their lives.”

Jerry Stahl has worked extensively in film and television.

Reviews

[Andrea]

Goddamn I love Jerry Stahl!

[John Hood]

http://therealjohnhood.com/bookem/cra...

Crack Got Your Tongue?
If Elmore Leonard smoked crack and wrote with a monkey on his back he might write a romp as wicked tight and pitch black bright as Jerry Stahl's Plainclothes Naked (Morrow $25).

Not that Sir Elmore is lacking in the tight and bright department, mind you, but there is some question as to his addict status. Not so Stahl, the cat behind the junkie memoir cum movie, Permanent Midnight, and a heroic anti-hero to dope fiends everywhere. Plainclothes Naked puts his speedball pedigree to good abuse.

And what abuse it is. In Stahl's world everyone's either on drugs or severely affected by someone who's on drugs, which may be true in the real world but here enters a realm even Artaud would call absurd. Gloriously, spectacularly, patently absurd.

The bad guys - a rank Zank and a cocoa mini-Dean named McCardle - are what is known in certain circles as 'rock stars'; that is their crack act has reached mythic proportion. Driven to singular distraction by a next last chance they don't have coming, the two pipe enough ready to run over priests, cut through trannies and drop not-so-nice little old ladies from windows, but not nearly enough to get what they're after. Further, like all crackheads, each hit leaves them emboldened beyond delusion, so it never occurs to the pair that the bloody mess they're making just may bring forth the fuzz.

Enter pill-popping policeman Manny Rupert. Hot on the trail of Tweedledum & Tweedledumber, he's even hotter for a scarred and feathered murderess named Tina, who plays a whip-smart Bonnie to the good detective's Clyde. As a cop, Rupert's as crooked as they come, only worse, which means he's better at it than most. Think the Bad Lieutenant in Jesus' Son and you get the idea. Forever in the "the Opiate Zone," the place of "pure brain and rushing insight." This is one cop who's got one up on all the competition. Tina makes two.

Between the blood and the guts and the mayhem, though, there's very little time for handholding - but who needs touchy feelly? When things move this fast and get this furious it's the incidental contact that counts. And anyway, when life matters this much yet means so little, reflection and pain can get a person killed. Stahl knows this; you should too. So there.

Stahl, a been there done-that cat of I'll take you there dimension is just the kind of hip, slick storyteller to have 'round the raging bonfire, his work an incendiary testament to the burn rate within us all. Like life, it may not always be neat, and it's rarely ever clean, but it'll get you. That is, unless you get it first - dig?

[H3yd00]

This was a fun romp, appropriately labeled as \"crack noir.\" The characters were hilarious, the plot was great, and the chapters flew by. I didn't want this one to end.

[Snakes]

One of my promises to myself this year is to set aside books that aren’t holding my interest. Up until now Stahl’s books have been quirky and compelling. Over 100 pages into this one and I’m bored and can’t stand the characters.

[Charleen]

Vulgar and violent in all the right ways.

Manny Rubert, a codeine popping cop, meets a woman who in the first few pages attempts to kill her husband by first putting a crushed light bulb and then Drano in his cereal. Their mission, as well as that of other fellow drug addicts with a taste for carnage: to find a picture of George W. Bush having sex with the major of the town, the cop's ex-wife, which was one in the possession of one of the crack heads.

Vulgar, violent, and full of drugs: this is the world that Stahl created in this book and it is the perfect world for these characters to inhabit in. I could barely put down the book and it is a quick read. Although not for the prude, this book is well written, it is very interesting and highly enjoyable.

[Tara]

my favorite fiction book

[Mark]

Hilarious!

[emma]

will be picking this back up next summer….its just not summer anymore in my mind and I can’t bring myself to read it

[Molly]

Jerry Stahl is twisted in the most delightful away. Twisted with heart. Through all of his hilarious raunch,there is still a romantic heart that peeks out.

[Jim]

At the start I thought, “Cool. This is like Elmore Leonard meets Carl Hiaasen.” Three quarters of the way through it felt more like Monty Python meets The Simpsons, then winds up as Jim Thompson. It’s not solely the plot that is wildly careening. The writing has more highs than lows, and I audibly groaned at the back story of the bad guy… cliche city. If you are looking for standard literary structure, you’re out of luck. But there are more than a few chuckles to keep the reader engaged.

[Qing]

Been trying to track down this book for years... Initially came across it while working as a library page in high school and had to flip it open for a glance when I came across the words "crack noir"... The page I landed on was something about deep throating, rampant with f-bombs. So naturally I loved it. :)

[Hannah Hostalka]

This is one of the most exciting books i’ve read in a long time (I don’t read often.) The characters are so fun and there was never a dull moment, I couldn’t put it down. It’s quite grotesque at points but somehow Stahl still makes it funny and light. Parts are cliché but that doesn’t bother me. Also I hate to say that I did imagine Manny as Shane Gillis.

[Colin]

he really does a poor job of dialog and cultural references, but a great, quick moving noir story

[mary]

Crazy good! Good and crazy! My kind of wacky adventure.

[Peter Litvin]

One of the most fun books I've ever read.

[Alex Bielovich]

Having read Permanent Midnight, and then seeing the plot for this book, I knew this would be extreme (extremely dark/ridiculous/offensive) and was not disappointed.

[Chris Stephens]

sad to say I could not finish this,
I don't even think it was even a bad book,
just to drugged out for my current head space.

[Philip Shaw]

I seem to hoard authors by eras in my life. I'll consume them as voraciously as possible but then hold back a few gems on my shelves because I don't want all of their work to be over for me, and I want to reserve something for my future. I did this with Vonnegut, Steinbeck, Faulkner, Miller, Camus, Bukowski, the list goes on and now I am probably doing the same with Bola��o. Jerry Stahl on the other hand, I held on to him not because I wanted to reserve something to savor (I hadn't read any of his other work. I did see Permanent Midnight) but because I thought the guy was a bad ass. I met him at a book festival and thought how cool is this ex-junky, screenwriter for Alf, Bad Ass. I wanted to hold on to this book to read it at a time when I wanted to be inspired to be a Bad Ass writer. One who can take a tired genre and turn it on its head. Well, not that I am writing a genre novel... I finally took it up. Dear Mr. Stahl, I still thank you are pretty bad ass. But your writing is atrocious. I expected cliches and tropes. I expected hardboiled stupidity. All of which I got in spades from you... disappointingly crafted and too worn spades.

[Andy Z]

I liked this book. I was sitting in the airport in Dallas and something in it made me laugh out loud. Some people looked at me funny and one old man smiled.
This is definitely not a life-changing epic of literature but its zany and funy and how could you go wrong with crack-addled psychos dealing with their underlying homosexuality while chasing a photo of a small-town mayor posing with the president's ball-sack?

[Matt]

Jerry Stahl writes in the same vein as Chuck Palahniuk. Not quite as messed up in the head, but as close as I've seen. Interesting, out of the ordinary reading though. And they both have unnecessary H's in their last names. Also, this guy wrote Alf, possibly the most brilliant show in the history of television.

[Beav]

Everyone is either on drugs or effected by someone on drugs....very representative. A couple characters you love to hate and a plot that you know where its going but you can't wait to follow it there. A somewhat typical noir, atleast for me.

[Kristin Myrtle]

i love jerry stahl, he is one of a kind and so was this book. a wonderful mix of sex, deep conversation, trannys, crack-heads, george w's ballsack, political intrigue, dead dogs, dean martin jokes and so many other things. FABULOUS!

[Coki]

Fun if somewhat disturbing (poor Puppy!!!) Reminiscent of Hiaasen and Leonard with the quirky characters and coincidental action . . . if they smoked a lot of crack. Not for the easily shocked but I will be reading more.

[Isidore]

For the most part hugely entertaining and wickedly funny; but I found the climax, well, anti-climactic. Had Stahl come up with a finish to top everything which came before, he'd have written a small comic masterpiece. As it is. . . A nice try.

[Neal]

i read this a year or so after i had read "perv". it's really good but, at times feels forced. i would recommend it but, i'd recommend "perv" first.

[Patrick]

Neo-noir from the writer the movie "Permanent Midnight" with Ben Stiller was based on. Good but not great, maybe just not my cup of tea.

[treva mccroskey]

fucking hilarious.

[Chris]

It was Ok. Kind of funny but I really didn't get into the characters as I probably should have.

[Melissa]

crazy crackheads and GW Bush's junk!

[Keith Toler]

One of the funniest books I have ever read.