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Shell Shocked
Swept into a whirlwind romance, Sean has to learn about his newfound bisexuality and his lover's pagan faith at the same time. And when he has a religious experience of his own, he discovers everything changes in its time, just like the Wheel of the Year.
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First published October 8, 2009
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July 17, 2014
4.5*
I first met with Angelia's writing within the Circlet-anthology I'd also submitted a story to and I have to say I am still on occasion having nightmares thinking of her contribution. It left me with some extremely memorable moments.
However, unlike what I expected, Shell Shocked turned out to be a sweet and forthright story of love between two disabled men.
For the general stuff I refer to this review which says most oft it perfectly:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...
One minor criticism--I could have done with much less prominence of religion, regardless of which faith we're talking about.
I'll add something though. I'm quite interested in romances involving disabled characters and have been repeatedly disappointed with the characterisations, which painted everything rosy and not half bad and people stalwartly and happily putting aside their losses. To me that's the wishful thinking of healthy people writing this, and the shame and attempt of disabled people depicted as something it is not.
I agree that things can and probably are different in case someone is disabled from birth or a very young age on, but I don't believe it is so when the disability is acquired at a later stage. I know too many disabled people who are not happy, often downright bitter about what has happened to them, and can't accept the wish to hide these negative facets as anything positive. So I wince when authors write this sort of thing without even trying to look at the realities behind that facade.
Sparrow did look behind it, included the nitty-gritty and the downsides and despair when it happened. The caution around tender topics and the tentative slow approaches. The nastiness of the healthy world which so often simply wants to forget (which IS what those others enable who write disabled people as perforce happy, cheerful and super-adapted!).
This was such a relief, to finally read such a book in which the author owned up to these things, that I give it that extra star.
I first met with Angelia's writing within the Circlet-anthology I'd also submitted a story to and I have to say I am still on occasion having nightmares thinking of her contribution. It left me with some extremely memorable moments.
However, unlike what I expected, Shell Shocked turned out to be a sweet and forthright story of love between two disabled men.
For the general stuff I refer to this review which says most oft it perfectly:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...
One minor criticism--I could have done with much less prominence of religion, regardless of which faith we're talking about.
I'll add something though. I'm quite interested in romances involving disabled characters and have been repeatedly disappointed with the characterisations, which painted everything rosy and not half bad and people stalwartly and happily putting aside their losses. To me that's the wishful thinking of healthy people writing this, and the shame and attempt of disabled people depicted as something it is not.
I agree that things can and probably are different in case someone is disabled from birth or a very young age on, but I don't believe it is so when the disability is acquired at a later stage. I know too many disabled people who are not happy, often downright bitter about what has happened to them, and can't accept the wish to hide these negative facets as anything positive. So I wince when authors write this sort of thing without even trying to look at the realities behind that facade.
Sparrow did look behind it, included the nitty-gritty and the downsides and despair when it happened. The caution around tender topics and the tentative slow approaches. The nastiness of the healthy world which so often simply wants to forget (which IS what those others enable who write disabled people as perforce happy, cheerful and super-adapted!).
This was such a relief, to finally read such a book in which the author owned up to these things, that I give it that extra star.
October 29, 2012
Memorable characters despite some writing flaws
Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.
Rating: 8/10
PROS:
- There’s an excellent portrayal here of a veteran with both physical and emotional scars. I know very little about PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome), but Sean seems like a very good depiction of it. He says after a panic attack at one point, “It scares me to think all I’ll ever be able to do is fake being civilized.”
- I love the main characters. They’re atypical romance-novel protagonists--almost antiheroes in a way: they’re damaged and poor, yet still they’re happy.
- The guys’ initial impressions of each other are frank--sympathetic, but not pitying--and that bluntness colors their entire relationship. They don’t tread lightly around each other’s disabilities. It’s refreshing (and sometimes a little shocking) how direct they are with each other.
- I got a good sense of the guys’ emotional connection. They’re incredibly sweet to each other, understanding of each other’s flaws and limitations, and they’re just easy together. They banter and are supremely comfortable in each other’s company.
CONS:
- The last several chapters are markedly different from the rest of the story, and I didn’t think there was a good transition between the 2 parts. Most of the book is somber and dramatic, and then the ending is syrupy sweet and seems at odds with the seriousness of the rest of the story.
- I really wanted to see some scenes from Gabe’s POV. The author does a great job of exploring the psychological difficulties of living with Sean’s problems, and I wanted to see the same from Gabe, especially since his disability is so unusual yet he’s remarkably chipper about it. We see external proof of Gabe’s human fragility (quivering voice, shaking hands, etc.), but I wanted to see inside his head.
- There’s a decent amount of sex here, but it’s not the focus of the story. Still, I must admit to being VERY upset about not getting to see Sean bottom for the first time. The characters make a pretty big deal about it: Sean keeps telling Gabe he’s not ready yet but will be eventually, and Gabe’s super understanding, and then when Sean decides he’s ready, Gabe’s excited but still gentle and soothing--“you’re gonna’ love it, I’ll make it good,” etc.--and then…fade to black and the story jumps ahead by 2 weeks.
- The book contains a lot of dialogue, which I think is mostly a good thing since that’s what made me really believe in the guys’ connection. But occasionally their conversations were a little hard for me to follow. They talk about quite a few things I have no knowledge of, like paganism and particular cult movies, and they left me in the dust more than once.
Overall comments: Despite some flaws, I think this book is worth reading if you’re looking for a story about memorable characters. This is a great example of a book in which the characters’ problems still exist at the end but their relationship enables them to better handle those problems.
Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.
Rating: 8/10
PROS:
- There’s an excellent portrayal here of a veteran with both physical and emotional scars. I know very little about PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome), but Sean seems like a very good depiction of it. He says after a panic attack at one point, “It scares me to think all I’ll ever be able to do is fake being civilized.”
- I love the main characters. They’re atypical romance-novel protagonists--almost antiheroes in a way: they’re damaged and poor, yet still they’re happy.
- The guys’ initial impressions of each other are frank--sympathetic, but not pitying--and that bluntness colors their entire relationship. They don’t tread lightly around each other’s disabilities. It’s refreshing (and sometimes a little shocking) how direct they are with each other.
- I got a good sense of the guys’ emotional connection. They’re incredibly sweet to each other, understanding of each other’s flaws and limitations, and they’re just easy together. They banter and are supremely comfortable in each other’s company.
CONS:
- The last several chapters are markedly different from the rest of the story, and I didn’t think there was a good transition between the 2 parts. Most of the book is somber and dramatic, and then the ending is syrupy sweet and seems at odds with the seriousness of the rest of the story.
- I really wanted to see some scenes from Gabe’s POV. The author does a great job of exploring the psychological difficulties of living with Sean’s problems, and I wanted to see the same from Gabe, especially since his disability is so unusual yet he’s remarkably chipper about it. We see external proof of Gabe’s human fragility (quivering voice, shaking hands, etc.), but I wanted to see inside his head.
- There’s a decent amount of sex here, but it’s not the focus of the story. Still, I must admit to being VERY upset about not getting to see Sean bottom for the first time. The characters make a pretty big deal about it: Sean keeps telling Gabe he’s not ready yet but will be eventually, and Gabe’s super understanding, and then when Sean decides he’s ready, Gabe’s excited but still gentle and soothing--“you’re gonna’ love it, I’ll make it good,” etc.--and then…fade to black and the story jumps ahead by 2 weeks.
- The book contains a lot of dialogue, which I think is mostly a good thing since that’s what made me really believe in the guys’ connection. But occasionally their conversations were a little hard for me to follow. They talk about quite a few things I have no knowledge of, like paganism and particular cult movies, and they left me in the dust more than once.
Overall comments: Despite some flaws, I think this book is worth reading if you’re looking for a story about memorable characters. This is a great example of a book in which the characters’ problems still exist at the end but their relationship enables them to better handle those problems.
April 20, 2016
Unlike most of these mm ebooks the authors worked hard to make real characters and didn't skimp on the unbecoming details that subsequently came up. For that alone I like the book.
The story itself was a little dry and it sometimes read like a text book.
The story itself was a little dry and it sometimes read like a text book.
October 25, 2015
2010 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
November 23, 2009
This book was really not at all what I expected, and, having read it, I'm not sure what to say about it or even whether to recommend it.
It is a powerful book psychologically. It might be difficult to read for anyone who's been in the military as Sean, one of the main characters, is a victim of PTSD after being victim of a bomb in Irag. He has graphic flashbacks. It might be difficult to read for someone who deals with mental issues, because Gabriel, the other character, is bipolar and lost both legs in an accident.
These two deeply injured characters bond and combine forces, living basically hand-to-mouth (do we really treat our vets, our mentally challenged so badly?). Sean writes romance novels for money and Gabriel does phone psychic work. It makes me weep to see their difficulties and yet -- they persevere, overcome, are happy with what they have. And they create their own happy ending that I really would not have expected.
It is a powerful book psychologically. It might be difficult to read for anyone who's been in the military as Sean, one of the main characters, is a victim of PTSD after being victim of a bomb in Irag. He has graphic flashbacks. It might be difficult to read for someone who deals with mental issues, because Gabriel, the other character, is bipolar and lost both legs in an accident.
These two deeply injured characters bond and combine forces, living basically hand-to-mouth (do we really treat our vets, our mentally challenged so badly?). Sean writes romance novels for money and Gabriel does phone psychic work. It makes me weep to see their difficulties and yet -- they persevere, overcome, are happy with what they have. And they create their own happy ending that I really would not have expected.
January 17, 2010
I liked the premise of this book. The way Sean and Gabe were/are together. What, for me, stopped it from being a great book was the sidetrack into the pagan rituals. I know it was a main part of the story but it detracted from the story as a whole.
The unimaginable lives of these two men and how they cope with their very real limitations was very well handled but again it seemed more like a promotion of paganisim (if thats a word) than a great story of two people falling in love whilst coping with a lack of everything in a world that offers them nothing. I normally don't mind learning about new religons but this was to much in your face for my liking and took away from a very good story. Although saying that I shall be reading up about pagan rituals :)
The unimaginable lives of these two men and how they cope with their very real limitations was very well handled but again it seemed more like a promotion of paganisim (if thats a word) than a great story of two people falling in love whilst coping with a lack of everything in a world that offers them nothing. I normally don't mind learning about new religons but this was to much in your face for my liking and took away from a very good story. Although saying that I shall be reading up about pagan rituals :)
December 26, 2012
Man. I've been debating how many stars to give this one. I was sucked in from the beginning but when it ended i felt almost cheated. I feel like the author just got tried of writing and just stopped. I know not everything has to have a hallmark ending and what not but the ending just feels really unfinished and I was disappointed. I didnt expect things to be neatly dealt with because these guys arent neat but I also feel like their story isnt finished. Maybe there will be a continuation? I can only hope.
November 10, 2011
I enjoyed the very realistic feel of this book. It was easy to imagine what the characters were going through, each with their own difficulties, but together helping each other through them. Not your usual feel good story, but I enjoyed it very much all the same.
July 27, 2011
I was really intrigued by the blurb on this one. Protags with physical/mental issues aren't very common in the m/m genre. Despite the slightly dark tone of the story I did enjoy reading it.
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June 7, 2021Dna
January 5, 2012
Thank goodness for an inspirational romance that is not Christian. It's refreshing to see a tale that relies on the power of Pagan spirituality for once.
The romance was overall gripping. I loved both characters. I know it's a cliche to say this, but I couldn't put it down. Both Gabe and Sean were well written and likable (for the most part, but I'll get to that later). Even the whirlwind aspect of their love didn't seem forced or cheap. I could easily see why they would bond that quickly.
Part of their connection with one another is that they are both disabled. I have to give major kudos to the author for choosing disabilities that are hard to sexify. That is, there is a tendency for people to give their characters only the aspects of a particular problem that seem attractive (dark, brooding, just enough of a guilty past to be interesting but not enough to actually make the love interest question their decision as to whether they should be with this person) and to gloss over the rest. Not here. Gabe had both legs amputated and Sean has a nasty case of PTSD, plus bad knees and other physical complaints. I am so happy to see a book with disabled main characters having a sexual relationship, I can't even tell you.
Now, here are some of the things I found disappointing. Sean always being on top is a thing that's brought up in the book more than once. Basically, he's reluctant to be penetrated because of lingering issues with his sexuality and the fear of the unknown. A lot of build up is put in to whether Gabe will ever top. Then that moment comes...and the author doesn't show it! How insanely frustrating.
Phone sex is just as awkward on the page as it is in real life. Seriously.
At one point, Sean and Gabe get in a huge fight. Words are said. You know the kind. Words. One example: Gabe is not the character's legal name. It's one he chose himself. Sean happens to know Gabe's legal name and he busts it out in the most invalidating way possible. As someone who also chose their name, man, did that sting. Marriages have ended for less. And yet, there doesn't seem to be as much fallout from this fight as I would have expected. It's a verbally abusive altercation, and since whether or not Sean is abusing Gabe comes up a couple of times, I thought this should have been handled with more detail.
Overall, a great read. I very much enjoyed it.
The romance was overall gripping. I loved both characters. I know it's a cliche to say this, but I couldn't put it down. Both Gabe and Sean were well written and likable (for the most part, but I'll get to that later). Even the whirlwind aspect of their love didn't seem forced or cheap. I could easily see why they would bond that quickly.
Part of their connection with one another is that they are both disabled. I have to give major kudos to the author for choosing disabilities that are hard to sexify. That is, there is a tendency for people to give their characters only the aspects of a particular problem that seem attractive (dark, brooding, just enough of a guilty past to be interesting but not enough to actually make the love interest question their decision as to whether they should be with this person) and to gloss over the rest. Not here. Gabe had both legs amputated and Sean has a nasty case of PTSD, plus bad knees and other physical complaints. I am so happy to see a book with disabled main characters having a sexual relationship, I can't even tell you.
Now, here are some of the things I found disappointing. Sean always being on top is a thing that's brought up in the book more than once. Basically, he's reluctant to be penetrated because of lingering issues with his sexuality and the fear of the unknown. A lot of build up is put in to whether Gabe will ever top. Then that moment comes...and the author doesn't show it! How insanely frustrating.
Phone sex is just as awkward on the page as it is in real life. Seriously.
At one point, Sean and Gabe get in a huge fight. Words are said. You know the kind. Words. One example: Gabe is not the character's legal name. It's one he chose himself. Sean happens to know Gabe's legal name and he busts it out in the most invalidating way possible. As someone who also chose their name, man, did that sting. Marriages have ended for less. And yet, there doesn't seem to be as much fallout from this fight as I would have expected. It's a verbally abusive altercation, and since whether or not Sean is abusing Gabe comes up a couple of times, I thought this should have been handled with more detail.
Overall, a great read. I very much enjoyed it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 22, 2012
I instantly fell for both of these characters. Because of their traumatic past injuries (which greatly affect their daily lives), they understand each other in ways no one else does. Two lonely men looking for love and companionship - my favorite kind of romance. They took such good care of each other, it melted my heart. Not once did Sean seem to care that Gabe had no legs, nor did he coddle him or treat him like an invalid. He just picked him right up and cuddled him. These boys were so sweet with each other, and so, so hot!! The physical progression of their relationship was paced just right. It didn't feel frantic or rushed. They really cared for one another. A perfect, perfect match.
I love the originality of this story and the characters themselves. Despite losing both of his legs, Gabe seemed very well-adjusted and had no problems letting Sean into his life, his heart, and his bed.
My only complaint is that the ending felt abrupt. I turned the page expecting more, but that was that! Yes, they did get their happy ending, but I would love to hear more about these two. It broke my heart the way they had to scrimp and save for weeks just to have a dinner out together. They have such a hard life. Thank the gods they have each other.
Sequel, pleeeeeaaaase!!
I love the originality of this story and the characters themselves. Despite losing both of his legs, Gabe seemed very well-adjusted and had no problems letting Sean into his life, his heart, and his bed.
My only complaint is that the ending felt abrupt. I turned the page expecting more, but that was that! Yes, they did get their happy ending, but I would love to hear more about these two. It broke my heart the way they had to scrimp and save for weeks just to have a dinner out together. They have such a hard life. Thank the gods they have each other.
Sequel, pleeeeeaaaase!!
December 19, 2010
Shell Shocked by Angelia Sparrow and Naomi Brooks is described as an erotic m/m pagan inspirational romance and it is all of this and more. What struck me about this story is that it breaks many of the rules within the romance sub-genre and in this particular case within m/m erotic romance in that the characters are not perfect nor is their world. The authors do not gloss over or romanticise Sean and Gabe’s physical and emotional challenges, nor do they contrive the issues they face as a means of artificially heightening the level of angst in this story. And yet, Shell Shocked is very much an m/m romance with a happy ending.
The complete review of Shell Shocked by Angelia Sparrow and Naomi Brooks can be found at Indie Reviews.
December 4, 2010
What I liked about this book was that it was a very real-life kind of take on the struggles almost dirt-poor men have in order to maintain a roof over their heads. There's no fake glitter of hyper-reality here. The only issue I have with the story is that it doesn't quite get off the ground with story-building tension. I kept waiting for something to happen... But ja, still the writing is of a consistently high standard and kept me engaged.
August 2, 2011
I'm not sure how to rate this book.
This is a surprisingly dense read. It weighs upon you, and yet I felt strangely disconnected from the characters. It is well written, and actively tries to circumvent the romantic standard with it's very un-standard characters while still retaining the romantic structure. I'm not sure this quite works in the end.
I suppose the best description I can give it would be that it's 'a warts and all' romance, a love story with no trappings of fantasy.
This is a surprisingly dense read. It weighs upon you, and yet I felt strangely disconnected from the characters. It is well written, and actively tries to circumvent the romantic standard with it's very un-standard characters while still retaining the romantic structure. I'm not sure this quite works in the end.
I suppose the best description I can give it would be that it's 'a warts and all' romance, a love story with no trappings of fantasy.
January 4, 2014
This was a pleasant surprise. Both characters are physically disabled, and have a lot of emotional baggage. The two MC's together work very well. I enjoyed the reality of their circumstances, both very poor and struggling make ends meet on a daily basis.
The story is written in Seans POV. I would of liked to have read Gabe's POV also. All in all it was a good story. I'm glad I read it.
The story is written in Seans POV. I would of liked to have read Gabe's POV also. All in all it was a good story. I'm glad I read it.
June 15, 2010
I love the characters and the base story of their coming together and their struggles.
What holds this story back for me are the errors and a few detail inconsistencies and a couple of jumps in time and situation that I wasn't expecting.
What holds this story back for me are the errors and a few detail inconsistencies and a couple of jumps in time and situation that I wasn't expecting.
September 10, 2016
3.5
Definitely above average. The pagan bit was a bit over the top for me though.
Definitely above average. The pagan bit was a bit over the top for me though.
dnf
July 5, 2012Like others have said, it's really well written regarding these two men and their lives.
It's also pretty heavy-handed in advocating paganism.
It's also pretty heavy-handed in advocating paganism.
May 19, 2014
DNF at 45%
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