Grief: Contemporary Theory and the Practice of Ministry

by Melissa M. Kelley

The experience of grief has been a source of intrigue and curiosity throughout history, and it continues to stimulate thought and theory in various fields of study. Unfortunately, these fields tend to function in isolation from each other. The result is a substantial disconnect between grief research, theory, and carewhich has evolved greatly over the last two decadesand ministerial practice. Using a metaphor of grief as a mosaic, Melissa Kelley presents contemporary grief theory and research, integrated with important theological, religious, and ministerial perspectives. Written in an accessible way for ministers, ministers-in-training, and all pastoral and spiritual caregivers, this book provides the most up-to-date theory and research in grief to help inform their care of others. Through exploration of critical topics including attachment to God, meaning making, and religious coping in grief, readers are brought right to the heart of a contemporary understanding of grief.

Genres: Theology, Grief, Nonfiction, Christianity, Christian, Death

176 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2010

Reviews

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5. A valuable survey of the modern psychological understanding of grief. That's the bulk of the book, and I appreciated it for that - you could say it was a bit lacking in practical advice on how to handle ministering to grieving people, but the general assumption of the book is that much of the conclusions of psychology naturally lead themselves to ministering in certain ways. I agree, though a bit more practical advice would have been appreciated. The case studies were very useful as well.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected a variety of forms of loss to be addressed, but it is only death.

[Janessa Nations · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for my Grief, Loss, Death, and Dying class. I loved it. The metaphor of a mosaic for grief is perfect. Kelley’s case vignettes were also very well done and helpful in explaining her different points. Her theological tie-ins weren’t the deepest, but they got the point across well. This book helped me define and explain grief better.

[Catherine Wicker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book. The author does a beautiful job recognizing all types of grief and its impacts. I loved the analogy of grief being a mosaic and that it pieces the life back together just in a different way.

[Luke Hillier · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really great foundation for understanding concepts and theories regarding grief over time and in our contemporary context. Kelley addresses disenfranchised grief, chronic sorrow, grief born of injustice, continuing bonds, vicarious trauma, narrative theory and meaning-making after loss, and the relational dynamics of grief, both towards God through an attachment theory lens and with others in supportive community. That's a lot of ground to cover in a relatively slim book, so you don't necessarily get a deep dive but I felt mostly satisfied with the insight. The attachment theory chapter was intriguing, but lacked impact given that it seems to conclude with two contradictory hypotheses that sorta render the premise moot. The chapter focused on exploring and then debunking historical perceptions of grief as being normative, individualistic, and in a sequential process in favor of individualized, relational, and messy processes was especially great. I also really appreciated the mosaic motif ("As each mosaic is particular, fashioned by many individual elements configured in unique ways, so each person's experience of grief is particular. It is formed by the unique interplay of all aspects of one's life –– one's past, one's relationships, one's way of making meaning, one's experience of the Divine, one's history of losses, one's sense of community, one's cultural perspectives, and so on.") And I really love the accompanying cover just as much.

[Rev. Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Publisher: "The experience of grief has been a source of intrigue and curiosity throughout history, and it continues to stimulate thought and theory in various fields of study. Unfortunately, these fields tend to function in isolation from each other. The result is a substantial disconnect between grief research, theory, and care?which has evolved greatly over the last two decades?and ministerial practice.Using a metaphor of grief as a mosaic, Melissa Kelley presents contemporary grief theory and research, integrated with important theological, religious, and ministerial perspectives. Written in an accessible way for ministers, ministers-in-training, and all pastoral and spiritual caregivers, this book provides the most up-to-date theory and research in grief to help inform their care of others. Through exploration of critical topics including attachment to God, meaning making, and religious coping in grief, readers are brought right to the heart of a contemporary understanding of grief"--a text for Ministry of Pastoral Care in Spring 2016

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

an informative, relevant, and up to date coverage of the topics mentioned in the title. The auther presents recent students and current theories in clear language, without watering down the content. My only wish is that there were further exploration in how one might tie theory and practice together. (I loved the case studies.) It is a slim book, and this book helped expand my interest in understanding and ministering to those who experience grief. I would welcome more insight from this author...any plans for future books?

[Ko Matsuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short treatise on grief and how the Gospel can speak into difficult situations. The book recognizes the complexity of emotions in such situations and does a good job creating the foundation for theory as well as case studies for application. My favorite quote:
"But how can God's love and grace be so present when we are suffering? This s both paradox and mystery. We will never understand fully. The best we can do is somehow hold in tension both the suffering and the grace of grief."

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who walks in ministry will find this a valuable resource. While dealing with grief is taught in seminaries, this book presents questions for reflection at the ends of the chapters that can be revisited from time to time, helping the reader to find new insight as we walk with those who grieve.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone and their mother should read this book. Kelley does an awesome job of combining the latest research in the grief field with hands-on practical application. It is easy to read, and many of the insights could radically change how we care for those who are grieving.

[Wendy Langhans]

Well worth the read. Full of wisdom and insight.

[Laura Kisthardt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for Pastoral Care Spring 2018 at Yale Divinity School. I found this to be a very readable book and incredibly useful resource. Highly recommend for those working in church ministry.