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My Husband Rock Hudson
The former wife of Rock Hudson offers a candid, revealing account of her relationship with and marriage to the tragic Hollywood superstar
232 pages, Hardcover
First published April 15, 1987
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
March 26, 2017
This book has had a rather sorted life in my household. First it was my Grandma's, then it was mine, then back to Grandma and now, I believe it lives with my Mom. Phyllis came from the same small area of Minnesota that my Grandmother did. Maybe that explains why she was so fascinated with the story. I had a lot of mixed feelings while reading this book. I wondered why exactly Phyllis would agree to this marriage. She explains it in the book from her point of view but, for some reason I still couldn't see her being that blind. It was interesting, sad and frustrating at points. Rock Hudson wasn't one of my favorite actors at all, but this story caused me to view him at times as a heartless jerk, and other times as a helpless victim of Hollywood's ideals and celebrity press. I didn't feel it was a waste of time but maybe not as interesting as I had hoped.
April 26, 2021
I recently watched the Netflix Mini Series Hollywood about an African American screenwriter and a young fictionalised Rock Hudson. Also featured are invented characters and fictionalised versions of several real life movie stars including Hattie McDaniel, Anna May Wong and the talent agent Henry Willson. In the series Rock Hudson is really dumb, a simple country boy who is of course very good looking but to begin with, useless at acting. He has to do his one line in his first movie over and over again, I thought wow the series has really taken some liberties with the character. And the homosexual agent Henry Willson is over the top as well.
Guess what? The series was much closer to the truth than anyone could imagine unless of course they have read Phyllis Gates memoir, My Husband, Rock Hudson. According to Phyllis Gates Rock Hudson was diagnosed with having the emotional development of a ten year old and it took him 38 takes to say his one line in his first movie Fighter Squadron.
But this memoir is more than just an expose of Rock Hudson as a married man, it is a fascinating insight into 1950s America. And tinseltown of course too. I’m not sure how much Bob Thomas actually wrote of this memoir but the style is very readable and Gates obviously had a good memory.
The prologue begins with a newspaper journalist ringing her about Rock Hudson confirming he has AIDS in July 1985. The journalist questions Gates about the marriage and whether she knew he was gay.
Gates then begins with her life as a young girl growing up on a farm in Minnesota. I really enjoyed this section. Finding out what opportunities there were for a pretty and adventurous woman, born in 1925. After several different careers Gates becomes Henry Willson’s secretary and the memoir really steps up a notch with her portrayal of Henry Willson and her observations of his behaviour with his stable of young male actors. Here’s Henry himself talking (and he sounds just like he does in ‘Hollywood’).
“I always give a green actor the gimmick of a trick name to help him get known while he’s learning his trade. I named Guy Madison for a signboard advertising Dolly Madison cakes – all that boy thinks about is food. Tab Hunter’s name came because I couldn’t thimk of anything to tab him. As for Rock, I tried to think of something big and strong – Rock of Gibraltar. Hudson came from the Hudson River, for no reason. I knew that was it: Rock Hudson.”
The third chapter is Rock: The First Twenty-nine Years and Gates gives us an overview of his difficult early years. In the following chapters Gates and Hudson marry. Here is the house they spent their short marriage in:
“It looked like a cabin in the mountains. Tall pine trees stood like sentinels all around it. Behind the house, a slope rose three hundred feet almost straight up; it was covered in ivy, with footpaths angling through it. The house was rustic with heavy beans and shake roof. The outer walls were painted barn red.” Sounds wonderful. The house was in Sparrow Lane Los Angeles but I haven’t been able to find any photos of it. There are photos in the book of the interior, along with other photos of Phyllis and Rock.
I really enjoyed her writing about her friendships with many of the top actors of the day. A favourite was Humphrey Bogart. She was friends with Grace Kelly, Cyd Cherisse and Anna, Marlon Brando’s wife. As well as Hjordis, David Niven’s wife and Kathy and Louis L’Amour. She was not that impressed with Elizabeth Taylor or James Dean, who Rock was very jealous of on the set of Giant.
Of course there is the revelation about Rock and the subsequent divorce all told in an intelligent, heartfelt but not self-centred way. Highly recommended for the lovers of Hollywood in its hey-day.
Guess what? The series was much closer to the truth than anyone could imagine unless of course they have read Phyllis Gates memoir, My Husband, Rock Hudson. According to Phyllis Gates Rock Hudson was diagnosed with having the emotional development of a ten year old and it took him 38 takes to say his one line in his first movie Fighter Squadron.
But this memoir is more than just an expose of Rock Hudson as a married man, it is a fascinating insight into 1950s America. And tinseltown of course too. I’m not sure how much Bob Thomas actually wrote of this memoir but the style is very readable and Gates obviously had a good memory.
The prologue begins with a newspaper journalist ringing her about Rock Hudson confirming he has AIDS in July 1985. The journalist questions Gates about the marriage and whether she knew he was gay.
Gates then begins with her life as a young girl growing up on a farm in Minnesota. I really enjoyed this section. Finding out what opportunities there were for a pretty and adventurous woman, born in 1925. After several different careers Gates becomes Henry Willson’s secretary and the memoir really steps up a notch with her portrayal of Henry Willson and her observations of his behaviour with his stable of young male actors. Here’s Henry himself talking (and he sounds just like he does in ‘Hollywood’).
“I always give a green actor the gimmick of a trick name to help him get known while he’s learning his trade. I named Guy Madison for a signboard advertising Dolly Madison cakes – all that boy thinks about is food. Tab Hunter’s name came because I couldn’t thimk of anything to tab him. As for Rock, I tried to think of something big and strong – Rock of Gibraltar. Hudson came from the Hudson River, for no reason. I knew that was it: Rock Hudson.”
The third chapter is Rock: The First Twenty-nine Years and Gates gives us an overview of his difficult early years. In the following chapters Gates and Hudson marry. Here is the house they spent their short marriage in:
“It looked like a cabin in the mountains. Tall pine trees stood like sentinels all around it. Behind the house, a slope rose three hundred feet almost straight up; it was covered in ivy, with footpaths angling through it. The house was rustic with heavy beans and shake roof. The outer walls were painted barn red.” Sounds wonderful. The house was in Sparrow Lane Los Angeles but I haven’t been able to find any photos of it. There are photos in the book of the interior, along with other photos of Phyllis and Rock.
I really enjoyed her writing about her friendships with many of the top actors of the day. A favourite was Humphrey Bogart. She was friends with Grace Kelly, Cyd Cherisse and Anna, Marlon Brando’s wife. As well as Hjordis, David Niven’s wife and Kathy and Louis L’Amour. She was not that impressed with Elizabeth Taylor or James Dean, who Rock was very jealous of on the set of Giant.
Of course there is the revelation about Rock and the subsequent divorce all told in an intelligent, heartfelt but not self-centred way. Highly recommended for the lovers of Hollywood in its hey-day.
March 3, 2008
Fascinating though watered-down memoir of Rock Hudson's short-lived 50's marriage. The strange relationship between Hudson and Gates was originally dismissed as a sham marriage of Hudson and his agent's secretary. But more recent research has indicated that Hudson and Gates indeed had strong romantic feelings for each other. If readers can get past the tell-all aspect of this book - one of several written in the wake of Hudson's mid 80s outing and death - then the twists and turns of this chronicle of complicated sexuality are compelling. Add in the fact that Gates herself was a closeted lesbian, though this is omitted in the memoir. A surprisingly interesting book for anyone studying homosexuality in the 1950s. Two people living in the Hollywood limelight with strong feelings towards each other seem to genuinely try to live a 1950s married life, but their attempt to be "normal" kills their friendship/romance.
May 13, 2022
In 1987 I would have given this entertaining book four stars; in 2022 I'd give it two stars after knowing every other Rock Hudson biographer has claimed this book is filled with lies that cover up the author's lesbian relationships and fake marriage. So I ended up in the middle with three stars. It's certainly worth looking through but it may mostly be fictional.
I've read the recent Rock Hudson books and am totally confused after reading this. Gates paints their very short marriage as being picture perfect until near the end when he physically abuses her and leaves her for five months while she's deathly sick. Upon his return the marriage is over and eventually she divorces him, taking a tiny settlement and refusing to go for his big pay or half the estate. The book really ends with the divorce, and there are only a few pages after that which update her life over the ensuing thirty years.
Published to take advantage of Hudson's death, there is some insight into what he was like as a person, whether you want to call him gay or bisexual (the word used in the book). She even hints at times he would be away from home for "interviews" or having "meetings" when he probably was hooking up with young guys. There's even one funny scene where he brings home a bunch of tight jeans, which he has never worn before, and she burns them, resulting in his crazed anger. This incident, like most of the other times he got mad, usually followed any hint of his homosexuality.
She does in the end deduce that he "may" have been seeing guys while she was married to him but she doesn't appear to care. There is nothing to indicate her lesbianism and she talks a lot about the couple's amazing love life in bed. But the way Gates handles the divorce reinforces the idea that the marriage was a sham.
Add to that her original Hollywood job was working for Rock Hudson's agent, who is notorious for hiring and hanging out with young gay men. She mentions spending time with many of the infamous gay names associated with Hudson in his other biographies. Certainly she must have noticed something suspicious when having dinners with all sorts of her boss's "friends" or "clients" that were homosexual.
It's a star-studded memoir, and she namedrops constantly, but there could be more stories associated with those big names. She has one-sentence mentions of Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, and other biggies without any stories. A few others, like Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando, do get a couple minor asides, and Gates claims that every big name she encountered was wonderful. Most surprising was Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, who both have reputations as being difficult to get along with but Gates paints them as the greatest to her.
The writer has no trouble throwing her husband under the bus and revealing some very nasty things about him, but if this is Rock Hudson at his best then it makes you wonder what he was like at his worst. It's too short, often skips large periods of time, and never truly reconciles how the farm girl from Minnesota accepted a quickie wedding from one of the most famous names in Hollywood.
I've read the recent Rock Hudson books and am totally confused after reading this. Gates paints their very short marriage as being picture perfect until near the end when he physically abuses her and leaves her for five months while she's deathly sick. Upon his return the marriage is over and eventually she divorces him, taking a tiny settlement and refusing to go for his big pay or half the estate. The book really ends with the divorce, and there are only a few pages after that which update her life over the ensuing thirty years.
Published to take advantage of Hudson's death, there is some insight into what he was like as a person, whether you want to call him gay or bisexual (the word used in the book). She even hints at times he would be away from home for "interviews" or having "meetings" when he probably was hooking up with young guys. There's even one funny scene where he brings home a bunch of tight jeans, which he has never worn before, and she burns them, resulting in his crazed anger. This incident, like most of the other times he got mad, usually followed any hint of his homosexuality.
She does in the end deduce that he "may" have been seeing guys while she was married to him but she doesn't appear to care. There is nothing to indicate her lesbianism and she talks a lot about the couple's amazing love life in bed. But the way Gates handles the divorce reinforces the idea that the marriage was a sham.
Add to that her original Hollywood job was working for Rock Hudson's agent, who is notorious for hiring and hanging out with young gay men. She mentions spending time with many of the infamous gay names associated with Hudson in his other biographies. Certainly she must have noticed something suspicious when having dinners with all sorts of her boss's "friends" or "clients" that were homosexual.
It's a star-studded memoir, and she namedrops constantly, but there could be more stories associated with those big names. She has one-sentence mentions of Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, and other biggies without any stories. A few others, like Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando, do get a couple minor asides, and Gates claims that every big name she encountered was wonderful. Most surprising was Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, who both have reputations as being difficult to get along with but Gates paints them as the greatest to her.
The writer has no trouble throwing her husband under the bus and revealing some very nasty things about him, but if this is Rock Hudson at his best then it makes you wonder what he was like at his worst. It's too short, often skips large periods of time, and never truly reconciles how the farm girl from Minnesota accepted a quickie wedding from one of the most famous names in Hollywood.
October 30, 2023
Yes, at one stage Rock Hudson was married. ‘My Husband, Rock Hudson’ was written by his ex-wife Phyllis Gates (and Bob Thomas) in 1987 soon after Rock Hudson died of AIDS following his disclosure of being gay. This book provides an important piece of the jigsaw that was Rock Hudson’s life - portraying a very masculine screen image, but in reality having continuous relationships with men at a time of extreme social conservatism. Phyllis Gates is initially a star-struck naive wife, eventually and painfully becoming aware of her husband’s proclivities. The book is engaging but it is surprisingly superficial whereas it could have explored these important social issues in an oppressive cultural era to a far greater extent. However, it is an empathetic read as both Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates emerge as sad figures in an all too common situation in the 1950’s.
March 8, 2020
Great books tells a lot about Hollywood agents hiding things.
March 29, 2022
Juicy book. I love learning of old Hollywood gossip. I really appreciate this book.
Read
March 8, 2024Not going to rate this, but damn if it isn't simultaneously horribly bad and wildly entertaining
September 25, 2024
In these more enlightened times,I think phyllis would have caught on immediately.it does make a change to hear it in her own words rather than some scurrilous gossip type biography.
August 2, 2012
I give it the fives stars as it is like many other fun autobiographies to read and it tells lots of interesting stuff about Rock Hudson and his weird and kind of icky agent.
June 10, 2014
Read this in one evening.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews