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Don't Take Your Life Personally
Ajahn Sumedho urges us to trust in awareness and find out for ourselves what it is to experience genuine liberation from mental anguish and suffering, just as the Buddha himself did two and a half thousand years ago. Ajahn Sumedho, an American Buddhist monk, practised for ten years in Thailand with the well known monk, Ajahn Chah. He has since spent over thirty years in England and is the founder of the Cittaviveka Forest Monastery in West Sussex and the Amaravati Buddhist Monastery in Hertfordshire. ‘Mindfulness or awareness is knowing. It is a direct knowing, immanent here and now. It is being fully present, attentive to this present moment as is. But defining mindfulness tends to make it into something — and then it is no longer mindfulness. Mindfulness is not a thing; it is a recognition, an intuitive awareness; it is awareness without grasping.’
420 pages, Paperback
First published August 4, 2010
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775 people want to read
About the author
Ajahn Sumedho
35 books82 followersAjahn Sumedho was born Robert Jackamn in Seattle, Washington in 1934. He was raised as Anglican and from 1951 to 1953 studied Chinese and history at the University of Washington. He served as a medic for the US Navy until returning to the University to ccomplete a BA in Far Eastern Studies in 1959. In 1966 he went to Thailand and was ordained as a novice Buddhist; in 1967 he received a full ordination.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 24 reviews
June 25, 2017
We may hear the phrase "don't take it personally," but most of us don't know how to do this because we haven't received training in how to not take things personally and that's exactly what Ajahn Sumedho lays out in this book. I was brought up believing in a personal God and found it to be one of the most disappointing and damaging ways of relating to life. As Ajahn Sumedho points out in this book, Buddhism doesn't anthropomorphize God or try to name God as being a certain thing or person, and that seems to me to be a much more intelligent and liberating approach to life.
There are a few key points for practice in this book. One of them is recognizing experiences of being human as "like this." Too often I have found myself judging myself or others or experiences instead of recognizing their true nature. Doors slamming and dogs barking are "like this." They aren't there for us to place judgments on or to react to with aversion, and if we're still reacting in a personal way, then we need to keep practicing until they are just "like this."
The real value of a book like this for me "personally" (pun intended) is realizing that I was getting too attached to the method and to peace itself. Things that didn't previously bother me would annoy me more (like doors slamming and dogs barking). The teachings he speaks on here have helped me loosen up my attitude towards meditation. He reminds me that I don't need to run to my cave to block out the world so I can become enlightened. That is really not the way according to Ajahn Sumedho who mentions that he did a lot of extensive meditation before he came to this conclusion. It's useful to have a time of meditation, but what is more important is how we live our lives when we're not on the meditation cushion, and I think that's what he's getting at in this book. We may hear teachings about meditative absorption and the jhanas, but he clearly denounces anything that has to do with "attainment" or "achievement" when it comes to meditation. We may think of monks doing these types of high meditation, but he clearly is able to disillusion us of any sense of an idealized monk-life here.
The other key phrase that jumped out was "personality belief." This is considered one of the ten fetters to enlightenment and it's something that is conditioned; It's not something we are born with, but we pick it up as we integrate into life as a human being living in society. He says that the personality is actually something we create and when fully believed in, it creates separation from others rather than connection. We become obsessed with "my view" for example, and anything outside of "my view" we reject or ignore until our entire experience of life is based on what we like or don't like, and isn't that a pretty shallow and deluded way to live?
The real benefit in putting these teachings into practice is that we aren't confused by what's happening in the world, but rather we learn to know things as they are and allow them to be as they are without needing them to be otherwise. He advocates that we trust in awareness itself rather than a sense of self to which good and bad things happen to.
Having read many of the books by his teacher Ajahn Chah, I would say that this was a good follow up to reading those books because it helped further my understanding of the teachings of Ajahn Chah. I could see where the teachings connected and more specifically, how to apply them to life as a Westerner. We're fortunate to have Ajahn Sumedho's teachings because he's giving us the wisdom applied from someone that was raised in America with American conditioning and each and every one of us living in the West will have to unlearn our conditioning if we're going to know how to "not take things personally." As he mentions, Thai culture is different and they have a simpler approach to life. They don't have a wall of skeptical doubt to overcome like many of us in the West do, so it's helpful to see how Ajahn Sumedho grew into his own understanding of the practice so that he could transmit them to us in an accessible kind of way. In the end, all I can really do is be thankful for the teachings and that I don't have to live according to fears and anxieties about a self that doesn't even really exist except on a conventional level.
There are a few key points for practice in this book. One of them is recognizing experiences of being human as "like this." Too often I have found myself judging myself or others or experiences instead of recognizing their true nature. Doors slamming and dogs barking are "like this." They aren't there for us to place judgments on or to react to with aversion, and if we're still reacting in a personal way, then we need to keep practicing until they are just "like this."
The real value of a book like this for me "personally" (pun intended) is realizing that I was getting too attached to the method and to peace itself. Things that didn't previously bother me would annoy me more (like doors slamming and dogs barking). The teachings he speaks on here have helped me loosen up my attitude towards meditation. He reminds me that I don't need to run to my cave to block out the world so I can become enlightened. That is really not the way according to Ajahn Sumedho who mentions that he did a lot of extensive meditation before he came to this conclusion. It's useful to have a time of meditation, but what is more important is how we live our lives when we're not on the meditation cushion, and I think that's what he's getting at in this book. We may hear teachings about meditative absorption and the jhanas, but he clearly denounces anything that has to do with "attainment" or "achievement" when it comes to meditation. We may think of monks doing these types of high meditation, but he clearly is able to disillusion us of any sense of an idealized monk-life here.
The other key phrase that jumped out was "personality belief." This is considered one of the ten fetters to enlightenment and it's something that is conditioned; It's not something we are born with, but we pick it up as we integrate into life as a human being living in society. He says that the personality is actually something we create and when fully believed in, it creates separation from others rather than connection. We become obsessed with "my view" for example, and anything outside of "my view" we reject or ignore until our entire experience of life is based on what we like or don't like, and isn't that a pretty shallow and deluded way to live?
The real benefit in putting these teachings into practice is that we aren't confused by what's happening in the world, but rather we learn to know things as they are and allow them to be as they are without needing them to be otherwise. He advocates that we trust in awareness itself rather than a sense of self to which good and bad things happen to.
Having read many of the books by his teacher Ajahn Chah, I would say that this was a good follow up to reading those books because it helped further my understanding of the teachings of Ajahn Chah. I could see where the teachings connected and more specifically, how to apply them to life as a Westerner. We're fortunate to have Ajahn Sumedho's teachings because he's giving us the wisdom applied from someone that was raised in America with American conditioning and each and every one of us living in the West will have to unlearn our conditioning if we're going to know how to "not take things personally." As he mentions, Thai culture is different and they have a simpler approach to life. They don't have a wall of skeptical doubt to overcome like many of us in the West do, so it's helpful to see how Ajahn Sumedho grew into his own understanding of the practice so that he could transmit them to us in an accessible kind of way. In the end, all I can really do is be thankful for the teachings and that I don't have to live according to fears and anxieties about a self that doesn't even really exist except on a conventional level.
June 20, 2013
Fantastic book that covers Luang Por (Ajahn Sumedho)'s teachings. It has helped me in more ways than one in surviving my first year as a monk in a Korean Zen Buddhist monastery which has been the most difficult thing I've ever done. It is also a great reference for those living in the layworld as well as his teachings can be applied to any daily situation.
Best takeaway:
Trust in one's intuitive awareness.
Acceptance of the world as it is.
Best takeaway:
Trust in one's intuitive awareness.
Acceptance of the world as it is.
January 3, 2015
Sumedho is one of the great teachers of modern time. He is able to take the complexities of Buddhist doctrine and simplify them with clarity and precision such that they become not only readily accessible but applicable to daily life by mere mortals such as I. Not only did I find this series of published talks really informative and clarifying to my own practice but also full of the spirit of encouragement. It is so easy to get lost at times and Sumedho points the way through those times. An outstanding pice of work.
September 29, 2016
Trust in awareness. It is like this.
December 7, 2016
Person is a lie
How to write a review ? That who will write s a fiction. That which is truth is a witness. Who will write what and about whom ?
How to write a review ? That who will write s a fiction. That which is truth is a witness. Who will write what and about whom ?
March 1, 2023
It is like this…
January 18, 2018
Ajahn Sumedho speaks from his experience as a Westerner (American) who took to following Buddhism ways and then lived abroad.
He offers personal examples of what mindfulness and living a simple life can mean and offer. Things are 'just like this' so it is not worth or not necessary to get upset. A barking dog is just that, a dog barking - not something to be worried or anxious about. He recaps many ideas in the different chapters and it is not necessary to read the book cover to cover but you can delve into different chapters or refer back to others, as you will and it still all makes sense.
The future is unknown with it's hopes, dreams, fears and adventures or challenges. Since it is unknown there is no need to stress over it. It just is something that is there, and it will happen as it happens. It does not mean you need to be passive and let life pass you by as a helpless bystander.
Being present means we need to trust not judge. It is how you experience life that matters. Without judgement we are able to listen and act, just be. We are here.
Wisdom is discernment. The example of telling yourself you will not get angry about something, or a become anxieties, then getting frustrated when this happens is something he addresses by saying, accept it and move on, be still and be aware what is happening/ what is now. By being aware of how you react/relate to things you are judging it free of judgments and all those 'shoulds' that are extremely unhelpful.
Be aware of what is going on in your life and life will not pass you by. You will be living life. What is, simply is. And by association, if you don't like what is happening then change it and that too will be what is happening right now. We may influence the future but we cannot know how it turns out until it is here and that too will be what is happening, right now.
We may influence the future, but we cannot know how it turns out until it is here and is no longer the future.
He offers personal examples of what mindfulness and living a simple life can mean and offer. Things are 'just like this' so it is not worth or not necessary to get upset. A barking dog is just that, a dog barking - not something to be worried or anxious about. He recaps many ideas in the different chapters and it is not necessary to read the book cover to cover but you can delve into different chapters or refer back to others, as you will and it still all makes sense.
The future is unknown with it's hopes, dreams, fears and adventures or challenges. Since it is unknown there is no need to stress over it. It just is something that is there, and it will happen as it happens. It does not mean you need to be passive and let life pass you by as a helpless bystander.
Being present means we need to trust not judge. It is how you experience life that matters. Without judgement we are able to listen and act, just be. We are here.
Wisdom is discernment. The example of telling yourself you will not get angry about something, or a become anxieties, then getting frustrated when this happens is something he addresses by saying, accept it and move on, be still and be aware what is happening/ what is now. By being aware of how you react/relate to things you are judging it free of judgments and all those 'shoulds' that are extremely unhelpful.
Be aware of what is going on in your life and life will not pass you by. You will be living life. What is, simply is. And by association, if you don't like what is happening then change it and that too will be what is happening right now. We may influence the future but we cannot know how it turns out until it is here and that too will be what is happening, right now.
We may influence the future, but we cannot know how it turns out until it is here and is no longer the future.
July 29, 2018
In my opinion, this is one of the best books I have read about Buddhism so far. It is very pleasant to read, in part thanks to the great sense of humor which is present throughout the book.
Although Ajahn Sumedho shares his knowledge as a Theravada Buddhist monk, by no means disregards other schools such as the Mahayana. Moreover, a lot of Buddhist concepts that I was unaware of, such as the Ten Fetters, the Four Immeasurable, The Five Aggregates and many others are explained.
However, the so-called Awareness or Mindfulness (i.e., to being present here and now) have a central role both in the book and in the author's life. In fact, Ajahn Sumedho describes them using different analogies throughout the book, being the one found in page 305 the most poetic: "Awareness is a point that includes everything. It has no boundary."
I also appreciate the honesty behind Ajahn Sumedho's words when he exposes the difficulties he has faced to and how he strove to overcome them by making use of Buddha's teachings. Actually, it reminds me the same sincerity than the one it transpired in Gandhi's book.
As a very small critique, I would say that it may not be the best book to learn Buddhist concepts in a systematic way. However, it is definitely an excellent book for those who are interested in learning Buddhism from a more pragmatic point of view.
Although Ajahn Sumedho shares his knowledge as a Theravada Buddhist monk, by no means disregards other schools such as the Mahayana. Moreover, a lot of Buddhist concepts that I was unaware of, such as the Ten Fetters, the Four Immeasurable, The Five Aggregates and many others are explained.
However, the so-called Awareness or Mindfulness (i.e., to being present here and now) have a central role both in the book and in the author's life. In fact, Ajahn Sumedho describes them using different analogies throughout the book, being the one found in page 305 the most poetic: "Awareness is a point that includes everything. It has no boundary."
I also appreciate the honesty behind Ajahn Sumedho's words when he exposes the difficulties he has faced to and how he strove to overcome them by making use of Buddha's teachings. Actually, it reminds me the same sincerity than the one it transpired in Gandhi's book.
As a very small critique, I would say that it may not be the best book to learn Buddhist concepts in a systematic way. However, it is definitely an excellent book for those who are interested in learning Buddhism from a more pragmatic point of view.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 18, 2019
Started this book after a traumatic brain injury. Trying to mentally come to terms with things and to cope with so much change. The biggest changes have been as a result of the teachings in this book. It is ok to say “don’t take it personally” or “stay mindful” or “set realistic expectations” but this book show you how. It has changed all my perceptions and now my expectations are beginning to be mindful and realistic. I am going to re read this book!
April 26, 2020
I haven't read the whole book, but I listened to the podcast of Ajahn Amaro's reading of large sections of the book. The wisdom within is fairly mind blowing, but Sumedho being American, he delivers his wisdom in a way that makes sense to Westerners (me!).
Ajahn Amaro expands on points within the book, and offers lots of personal stories and anecdotes.
Amaro completed the reading at the Amaravati Monastery Winter Retreat 2018/19.
Ajahn Amaro expands on points within the book, and offers lots of personal stories and anecdotes.
Amaro completed the reading at the Amaravati Monastery Winter Retreat 2018/19.
May 20, 2020
Probably not the first read you'd want when trying to understand Buddhist practices, but some good messages here anyway. The passages seemed to be transcripts from Ajahn Sumedho's summer retreats held in England. Best takeaway about suffering was his admission that HE was the cause of his suffering by his own obsessions, opinions, etc. It's always easy to blame others...I liked that explanation.
April 9, 2021
Ajahn Sumedho in a simple direct way makes one understand the core of the Buddha’s teachings.
He makes it so simple and yet his words are so profound and transformative. I have read this book many many times over the years . I reach out to his words often . They have been my guiding light .
He makes it so simple and yet his words are so profound and transformative. I have read this book many many times over the years . I reach out to his words often . They have been my guiding light .
September 14, 2022
Excellent read
I recommend this book to anyone interested in Buddhism and willing to embrace its refuge. Excellent book really, simple to understand and easy to read. Just finished it, already wanting to re-read!
I recommend this book to anyone interested in Buddhism and willing to embrace its refuge. Excellent book really, simple to understand and easy to read. Just finished it, already wanting to re-read!
December 12, 2025
A really good walk through Theravada Buddhism. Somewhat repetitive in spots, as the chapters were written/delivered as talks to students over the course of time, but that was actually helpful in trying to pick up on what is being put down. It really is opening my eyes to a few things.
November 15, 2017
Mindfulness
Great read in a compact form. A lot of good points to take away and practice in everyday life. It helps you to think of different ways of mindfulness
Great read in a compact form. A lot of good points to take away and practice in everyday life. It helps you to think of different ways of mindfulness
May 5, 2020
Took two years to finish. To me it’s pure and deep til the last page.
January 8, 2023
Some material is repeated slightly across multiple essays, but that's mostly a by-product of this being a transcript of several lectures. Otherwise, excellent stuff.
March 15, 2023
Challenging read but insightful!
September 21, 2024
Life changing Book
December 1, 2025
Life changing book. If you are open to read it and have a space for it in your life, this book can be very helpful. Totally recommended, but you have to be in a place to read it.
November 19, 2017
This is an excellent, if esoteric, book. It contains a series of lectures by Ajahn Sumedho, all of which throw an incredible amount of light on Buddhist writings and teachings.
The their core is the idea that you can observe yourself and your own reactions, that this awareness is all you need, and that in doing so y will stop taking your life personally. The notion of emotions being contextual, and our own abilities to tap into the flow, are fabulous.
Simply reading this book has changed how I engage in meditation, and has changed my inner dialogue. It's no longer about making time to sit on a zafu, but has become a wholistic practice in which I can tune into space no matter where I am.
Highly recommended read, but not for those completely new to Buddhists books. Much of it will be lost on you.
The their core is the idea that you can observe yourself and your own reactions, that this awareness is all you need, and that in doing so y will stop taking your life personally. The notion of emotions being contextual, and our own abilities to tap into the flow, are fabulous.
Simply reading this book has changed how I engage in meditation, and has changed my inner dialogue. It's no longer about making time to sit on a zafu, but has become a wholistic practice in which I can tune into space no matter where I am.
Highly recommended read, but not for those completely new to Buddhists books. Much of it will be lost on you.
May 30, 2016
The Pali word "satipanna" means awareness, especially in the here and now. Space includes all phenomena, operations and activity; consciousness or awareness includes all the conditions of mind like thoughts, intentions and emotions. Therefore awareness includes the self, personality or 'I'. Awareness or consciousness is thus primary and stable. One can trust awareness. Meditate on the present: the here and now.
April 7, 2017
this book is a collection of lectures given by the author, about Buddhism in the Theravadan tradition. some of the essays are "repetitive" but all are very worthwhile reading. Very good for students who may be new to Buddhist philosophy
Displaying 1 - 23 of 24 reviews