4.25 stars.
First, I have to say PICTURES, PEOPLE!!!! If you’re going to write a memoir, include some freaking pictures of the places and people you’re talking about!!!!
There are two reasons I put off reading this book. First, I figured, despite the fact that they moved to a rural setting, there’d probably be a lot of “New York City’s #1!” foam finger waving. Second, I knew some poor animal would eventually get slaughtered and, being a vegan, I’d get pissed off while reading about it. Both things did happen, the first, to a much lesser extent, thankfully, than I thought, but I really enjoyed this book. I’ll get into the second concern in a bit.
At the start of the book, Josh and his partner of ten years, Brent Ridge are city dwellers who are very successful in their careers as an ad exec (Josh) and a former practicing doctor and the current resident health and wellness expert for Martha Stewart (Brent). However, they both long to break away from their stressful jobs and while returning from an apple picking trip in upstate New York, they happen upon the deserted Beekman Mansion, deciding on impulse to buy the place as a weekend getaway.
It was very funny to read about these rurally raised but now entrenched urbanites’ purchase of a mansion hours outside of New York City in Sharon Springs, New York. You could really sympathize with all of the trials and tribulations they went through, despite the fact that they were ridiculously accomplished and successful, have more money than the majority of people will ever see and were able to fulfill their dreams, though it took them a while and a lot of hard work, on a whim. I really admired their attempt not only to better their lives but to bring back a gorgeous, long-empty mansion back from the dead (or at least saving it from purgatory) and to bring the long-fallow farm back to life (well, the garden part, anyway). Along the way, they also hoped that if their venture was successful, it would go a long way to revitalizing the town of Sharon Springs and bring much needed income to their friends and neighbors.
I think aside from Josh and Brent, my favorite people were Doug and Garth. They seem like great guys with amazing senses off humor, particularly Doug, with his barbed back and forth banter with Josh. And while Josh was complimentary towards Martha Stewart, everything he wrote about her, as seemingly nice as he was trying to be, just confirmed everything I’ve ever thought about her, which isn’t seemingly nice at all.
**MAJOR SOAPBOX ALERT!!**
So, being an ethical vegan, I’m going to talk about the parts of the book that I knew would piss me off, so if you’re an omnivore who could give two shits about animals, just skip this section. When the author starts waxing philosophical about how the animals were happy blah blah blah, it really doesn’t matter because it all ends the same, the animal ends up dead well before its time. And female cows really don’t rule anything. They’re forced to be continually pregnant, usually meddled with so that they produce far more milk than normal, though, apparently not in this case, and the males are either tossed aside or used for veal. I also read somewhere that the lifespan of a milk cow is around seven to nine years, possibly less, because after a while their production falls off, though if they would live to their late teens or somewhere in their twenties without human intervention. And regarding the Thanksgiving scene with the wishbone, I’m pretty fucking sure the turkey didn’t win.
And I would say don’t get me started on Cow, but it’s too late for that. Josh writing that he won’t get overly sentimental (uh, I think you have to be slightly sentimental before you can get overly sentimental and he wasn’t anywhere near either emotion) about killing and eating their cow because it would be an insult to both of them because they did their jobs as responsible and humane farmers and he did his job as a responsible and healthy farm animal and that at the end of the season it’s still a primarily professional relationship they have with the animals, despite their closeness, made me laugh. And not in a ha, ha, that’s so funny way. I love how people rationalize the killing of animals. First, I’m not sure the animals would see it as professional relationship, since they don’t really have a say in the matter and I’m sick and tired of people saying something’s humane when the end result is an electric rod shoved up an animals ass to bring its life to an early end. I wonder if humans would feel the same way if it were them. Yeah, we cut his head off when he turned twenty-five, but until that time, he lived in huge house and didn’t want for anything, though we never let him leave the house and yeah, he ended up dead well before his time. But we were humane! It really pisses me off how the human race acts like everything was put here to serve us because, here comes the second foam finger I despise, we’re #1. Until of course we fuck up royally, then it’s all, I’m only human!!!!.
**SOAPBOX RANT OVER**
Though the above is a major issue for me, discussions of killing the farm animals didn’t take up too much of the book and, as I said before, the rest of it I really enjoyed and I found the description of the different vegetables and the creation of their gardens to be very interesting, particularly since they did so much of it themselves (of course, with a lot of help particularly with the maintenance from John). Obviously, their previous careers had a lot to do with their ability to successfully craft the Beekman 1802 brand, but we still get to see that, despite their advantages, they put a lot of time, money and hard work into making their dreams a reality.
One thing that had me going, Christ, enough already! was Josh’s obsession with approaching forty. The way he talked about it, you’d think he had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. It got to be a bit annoying and eventually depressing whenever he brought it up, which wasn’t all the time, but I could’ve done without so much of it. I understand that he was trying to make a point about coming full circle and finding out what’s important to you and doing what you can to make yourself and those in your life happy, but it got to be a bit fatalistic at times. As I said, this is a small part of the book and most of it is filled with Josh’s funny retellings of stories and sarcastic wit. I have to say, the prologue to this book may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, I laughed out loud many times as I read it and at one point was doubled over, much to my co-workers' amusement.
Between Wade Rouse and Kilmer-Purcell, I’ve got my resignation half written. Actually, my dream is to use a post-it. While it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows for Josh and Brent, they did try and eventually succeed (no spoiler here since we’ve all heard about the Fabulous Beekman Boys TV show and a quick trip to their Web site will show you the farm’s still up and running, seemingly rather successfully) at doing something that makes them happy, something I’m sure all of us wish we could attempt to do, even if we fail.