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Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest Illusion on Earth
Shelley Lubben was a porn star. Now she tells the hardcore truth. In Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn, former porn actress Shelley Lubben rips the seductive mask off of pornography and exposes the hardcore truth behind the "greatest illusion on earth". Her spectacular journey from childhood sexual abuse to prostitution to the deadly unglamorous realm of porn sets, Shelley is brutally honest about her past. But that's not all. Having escaped the porn industry at 26, Shelley now shares her powerful story of redemption offering a message of hope to the entire world. The first ever book exposing the "secret" side of porn, Shelley wants you to know the hardcore truth. Pornography is modern day slavery for thousands of women and the millions of porn addicts who can't stop clicking. But you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free!
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
300 pages, Paperback
First published October 8, 2010
34 people are currently reading
280 people want to read
About the author
Shelley Lubben
3 books12 followersShelley Lubben is one of the world’s leading advocates in the antipornography movement. A former pornographic actress who performed under the stage name of Roxy, she left the sex industry in 1994.
Upon her eight year recovery at the Champion’s Centre in Tacoma, Washington, she reentered society as a new Champion woman and began teaching and preaching in prisons and rescue missions in Central California. Ordained as a Chaplain with the Order of Saint Martin.
Fifteen years into recovery, Shelley has appeared on both Christian and secular television and radio shows and speaks out passionately about the harms of pornography as well as shares her inspirational story.
Shelley also serves as the Executive Director of Pink Cross Foundation, a nonprofit organization that offers hope, healing and support to adult industry workers around the world. Shelley Lubben is sought worldwide to speak, educate, testify, and counsel individuals, organizations, professionals and governments regarding the illegally operating porn industry, pornography addiction, recovery from sexual abuse and the sex industry and the Champion life.
"Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest Illusion on Earth", rips the seductive mask off of pornography and exposes the hardcore truth behind the “greatest illusion on earth”.
Her spectacular journey from childhood sexual abuse to prostitution to the deadly unglamorous realm of porn sets, Shelley is brutally honest about her past. She tells her powerful story of escaping the porn industry at 26, offering a message of hope to the entire world.
The first ever book exposing the “secret” side of porn, Shelley wants you to know the hardcore truth. Pornography is modern day slavery for thousands of women and the millions of porn addicts who can’t stop clicking.
On February 17, 2011, Shelley will take part in a debate in the United Kingdom. She will face Johnny Anglais and Anna Arrowsmith, who are both part of the United Kingdom's porn industry, debating the issues of pornography.
Upon her eight year recovery at the Champion’s Centre in Tacoma, Washington, she reentered society as a new Champion woman and began teaching and preaching in prisons and rescue missions in Central California. Ordained as a Chaplain with the Order of Saint Martin.
Fifteen years into recovery, Shelley has appeared on both Christian and secular television and radio shows and speaks out passionately about the harms of pornography as well as shares her inspirational story.
Shelley also serves as the Executive Director of Pink Cross Foundation, a nonprofit organization that offers hope, healing and support to adult industry workers around the world. Shelley Lubben is sought worldwide to speak, educate, testify, and counsel individuals, organizations, professionals and governments regarding the illegally operating porn industry, pornography addiction, recovery from sexual abuse and the sex industry and the Champion life.
"Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest Illusion on Earth", rips the seductive mask off of pornography and exposes the hardcore truth behind the “greatest illusion on earth”.
Her spectacular journey from childhood sexual abuse to prostitution to the deadly unglamorous realm of porn sets, Shelley is brutally honest about her past. She tells her powerful story of escaping the porn industry at 26, offering a message of hope to the entire world.
The first ever book exposing the “secret” side of porn, Shelley wants you to know the hardcore truth. Pornography is modern day slavery for thousands of women and the millions of porn addicts who can’t stop clicking.
On February 17, 2011, Shelley will take part in a debate in the United Kingdom. She will face Johnny Anglais and Anna Arrowsmith, who are both part of the United Kingdom's porn industry, debating the issues of pornography.
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January 27, 2011
Shelley Lubben has self-published a startlingly ridiculous, and even blasphemous book. Although it promises to be some kind of exposé on the America porn industry, only 23 of the book's 275 pages are actually devoted to her brief time in porn, during part of 1993 and 1994. What comes through instead is an unbelievably arrogant first-hand account of the trials and tribulations of someone who clearly wants us to believe that she is a modern-day prophet of God. God and Jesus both speak to her regularly throughout -- not metaphorically, God actually visits with and addresses her personally -- conveniently justifying her every action and stance.
The book is the story of a troubled child, obsessed with fame and "celebrity," who was ejected from her suburban home (after cheating her way through high school), and quickly became a Los Angeles street hooker, drug addict and alcoholic. By the time she entered adult films at age 25, Lubben had been a criminal for years and was no child. She now claims, however, that she was forced, coerced, threatened, cajoled and manipulated. In Lubben's world, nothing that ever happened to her was her fault; she was/is always the innocent victim, no matter how immoral, unethical or illegal her action. The concept of personal responsibility is clearly alien to Lubben. Everything was someone else's fault -- including, and especially, Satan's.
Worse, Lubben offers absolutely no corroboration of any of her claims, many more than twenty years old. No one else is interviewed or quoted, except as in Lubben's retelling of events. This book simply constitutes the autobiography of a woman who has called herself "a professional liar" "con artist" and "hustler."
The remainder of the book is ridiculous junk science, much of which cites Lubben's own "research" as its source. She cites anecdotal stories as statistical proof, and routinely conflates her own alleged experiences with the "universal" experience of every woman in the adult industry, past or present.
In addition, a comparison with Lubben's statements published elsewhere, including on the internet, reveals that she had omitted many uncomfortable facts. She omits, for example, the fact that she was once prescribed the powerful drug Lithium for her severe Bipolar Disorder, and that her husband was fired from his job for being high on illegal drugs (which, Lubben has said, he was also peddling). She also neglects to mention that her sole educational credential comes from a non-accredited school which, in at least one state, has been ruled a diploma mill.
The book also contains some striking statements which could easily be seen as racist, for example: "I didn't want to get pregnant again from a prostitution act and give birth to some ugly Asian baby" and "I busted out of his big black arms."
This book is an utter waste of time. To think that trees died to publish it only adds to Lubben's culpability.
The book is the story of a troubled child, obsessed with fame and "celebrity," who was ejected from her suburban home (after cheating her way through high school), and quickly became a Los Angeles street hooker, drug addict and alcoholic. By the time she entered adult films at age 25, Lubben had been a criminal for years and was no child. She now claims, however, that she was forced, coerced, threatened, cajoled and manipulated. In Lubben's world, nothing that ever happened to her was her fault; she was/is always the innocent victim, no matter how immoral, unethical or illegal her action. The concept of personal responsibility is clearly alien to Lubben. Everything was someone else's fault -- including, and especially, Satan's.
Worse, Lubben offers absolutely no corroboration of any of her claims, many more than twenty years old. No one else is interviewed or quoted, except as in Lubben's retelling of events. This book simply constitutes the autobiography of a woman who has called herself "a professional liar" "con artist" and "hustler."
The remainder of the book is ridiculous junk science, much of which cites Lubben's own "research" as its source. She cites anecdotal stories as statistical proof, and routinely conflates her own alleged experiences with the "universal" experience of every woman in the adult industry, past or present.
In addition, a comparison with Lubben's statements published elsewhere, including on the internet, reveals that she had omitted many uncomfortable facts. She omits, for example, the fact that she was once prescribed the powerful drug Lithium for her severe Bipolar Disorder, and that her husband was fired from his job for being high on illegal drugs (which, Lubben has said, he was also peddling). She also neglects to mention that her sole educational credential comes from a non-accredited school which, in at least one state, has been ruled a diploma mill.
The book also contains some striking statements which could easily be seen as racist, for example: "I didn't want to get pregnant again from a prostitution act and give birth to some ugly Asian baby" and "I busted out of his big black arms."
This book is an utter waste of time. To think that trees died to publish it only adds to Lubben's culpability.
April 30, 2017
Girl is abused, goes into porn for ONE YEAR, and then becomes a religious freak. I don't doubt that there are many, many sides to the complicated industry of porn, but this is all the bad invented in the mind of one very damaged and confused woman. If you love religious babble, this is for you. If you were interested in the actual porn industry, do look elsewhere!
September 26, 2014
The title itself prepares you for what will follow- porn, sex, lost souls, pain, love, and redemption. Lubben covers every one of those words to the fullest. From cover to cover, you follow Lubben through her childhood, her lost innocence and living a broken, lost life of a porn star and her eventual redemption.
Lubben takes you with her through every phase with such an unimaginable honesty, often times, I was so taken back by her raw descriptions of the porn life and her journey into unpredictable evil circumstances that I but the book down in shock.
Throughout each chapter and in every aspect, her honesty is clearly visible and one can only root for her by the middle of the book.
It seems the only constant in her life was God and in the end, like the lifesaver he is, he takes center stage and the book itself transforms from an early raw and gritty read into a fierce beautiful relationship with Lubben and life, her family and her God-given calling.
Lubben shines the light on the darkness the porn industry has had on the lives of women for years.
Most harrowing is the chapter in which her daughter born during her prostitution days writes a chapter on how she felt as the young daughter of a porn star. Finally, we get the truth of what that lifestyle is really about and the conditions in which women work under and the embarrassment that follows.
All of a sudden the sex crazed porn industry doesn't look as glamorous as it makes one believe, rather it looks sickening.
I read this book years ago and felt that it goes along with the last book, Dancing for the Devil, the two books shine a bright light on an industry that many are not privy too. Lubben, just as Donewald, open the door to this world and allow us to see that the alleged glam is not what it seems. I met Lubben at a women's conference shorty after this book was published. She was a guest speaker at Cornerstone Church and she was a real inspiration. After reading the book to see what God had done in her life is truly breathtaking. She is now happily married and a mother and still out there bringing awareness and offering help to anyone in the sex industry who wants out. for more on this and other reviews follow www.anthembookreview.blogspot.com
Lubben takes you with her through every phase with such an unimaginable honesty, often times, I was so taken back by her raw descriptions of the porn life and her journey into unpredictable evil circumstances that I but the book down in shock.
Throughout each chapter and in every aspect, her honesty is clearly visible and one can only root for her by the middle of the book.
It seems the only constant in her life was God and in the end, like the lifesaver he is, he takes center stage and the book itself transforms from an early raw and gritty read into a fierce beautiful relationship with Lubben and life, her family and her God-given calling.
Lubben shines the light on the darkness the porn industry has had on the lives of women for years.
Most harrowing is the chapter in which her daughter born during her prostitution days writes a chapter on how she felt as the young daughter of a porn star. Finally, we get the truth of what that lifestyle is really about and the conditions in which women work under and the embarrassment that follows.
All of a sudden the sex crazed porn industry doesn't look as glamorous as it makes one believe, rather it looks sickening.
I read this book years ago and felt that it goes along with the last book, Dancing for the Devil, the two books shine a bright light on an industry that many are not privy too. Lubben, just as Donewald, open the door to this world and allow us to see that the alleged glam is not what it seems. I met Lubben at a women's conference shorty after this book was published. She was a guest speaker at Cornerstone Church and she was a real inspiration. After reading the book to see what God had done in her life is truly breathtaking. She is now happily married and a mother and still out there bringing awareness and offering help to anyone in the sex industry who wants out. for more on this and other reviews follow www.anthembookreview.blogspot.com
August 25, 2017
From a male's perspective I thank Shelley for exploiting her past and given truth about the porn industry, thank the Yahawah and Yahawashi for bring her to the faith. Honestly there's much talk against her for talking against the porn industry; but this reality and the simple fact is they don't want her to share it. Chapter one she begun with statistics of what's really going on behind camera's then she tells her life story. This book is provocative on how we view porn. And yes I did imply we, including myself, for I'm not innocent but now grown out of that. The simple truth is porn can cause much illusion, corrupting your sex life and changing the way sex should be. Thank you Shelley Lubben, I will continue to support your movement against Porn. Really enjoyed the book, it was really down-to-earth! Sincerely, John Shelton Jones
March 13, 2016
I have heard many Shelley Lubben interviews and really love her tweets and her Pink Cross Foundation. I looked so forward to reading this book since it came out but it took me a while to finally get a copy of it. I am certainly not disappointed by the outcome of this story!
Shelley is blunt and lets everything out as if she is the person she used to be (and then you see her attitude change greatly as she matures in her own story as well as how her language is released in the book). She talks about the sexual abuse she endured as a child, the sexual exploration that followed, the way she was lured into stripping, prostitution, and human trafficking. She talks about the pornography that she was involved in for a couple of years as a porn star and how horrific and nasty it is even though it is made to look amazing to viewers. She contracted a disease and was addicted to drugs and alcohol to get through the pain of porn.
Jesus was tugging at her since her childhood and she talks about how he changed her entire life completely. Shelley discusses her marriage to Garrett who "rescued" her thanks to God's guidance. She does not paint her life to be fancy at all and says how healing in her life happened slowly and eventually how God had her minister to prisoners, porn stars, porn addicts, strippers, call girls, etc.
I especially loved the short chapter her eldest daughter Tiffany wrote about how she suffered because of her mom's lifestyle of the past and how she suffered when her mom was changing as well. It was so sad but became so beautiful. I loved this. She also held nothing back.
Be prepared to learn about some sick and sad things described throughout this book. I read human trafficking books regularly and this was the most raw out of all I have read over the past 8 years but it was so good too! I seriously felt her emotions throughout this. She made me laugh, cringe, gasp, and cry. I truly will continue to applaud her efforts and appreciate all she does.
There is bad language and sexual content throughout this book.
Shelley is blunt and lets everything out as if she is the person she used to be (and then you see her attitude change greatly as she matures in her own story as well as how her language is released in the book). She talks about the sexual abuse she endured as a child, the sexual exploration that followed, the way she was lured into stripping, prostitution, and human trafficking. She talks about the pornography that she was involved in for a couple of years as a porn star and how horrific and nasty it is even though it is made to look amazing to viewers. She contracted a disease and was addicted to drugs and alcohol to get through the pain of porn.
Jesus was tugging at her since her childhood and she talks about how he changed her entire life completely. Shelley discusses her marriage to Garrett who "rescued" her thanks to God's guidance. She does not paint her life to be fancy at all and says how healing in her life happened slowly and eventually how God had her minister to prisoners, porn stars, porn addicts, strippers, call girls, etc.
I especially loved the short chapter her eldest daughter Tiffany wrote about how she suffered because of her mom's lifestyle of the past and how she suffered when her mom was changing as well. It was so sad but became so beautiful. I loved this. She also held nothing back.
Be prepared to learn about some sick and sad things described throughout this book. I read human trafficking books regularly and this was the most raw out of all I have read over the past 8 years but it was so good too! I seriously felt her emotions throughout this. She made me laugh, cringe, gasp, and cry. I truly will continue to applaud her efforts and appreciate all she does.
There is bad language and sexual content throughout this book.
August 4, 2013
3.5 stars.
I first heard of Shelley Lubben back in 2006 when I added her on MySpace. I discovered her in some porn-addiction documentary when I was doing some research. At that time, I believed my friend had an awful porn addiction.
Now, for this book I have some mixed feelings. I envisioned a memoir based on personal experiences, backed by a tonne of research to expose the industry. Instead, what I got was a compelling memoir on how she ended up in the porn industry, and her spiritual recovery through Christianity.
The first half of the book contained some convincing statistics, some quotes and testimonies from other porn stars. The second half is her plight to recovery and some background to her campaign. Basically, it's her testimony, her spiritual method of recovery, and an overall pretty decent story. There is a hint of second book at the very end.
All the best to her.
I first heard of Shelley Lubben back in 2006 when I added her on MySpace. I discovered her in some porn-addiction documentary when I was doing some research. At that time, I believed my friend had an awful porn addiction.
Now, for this book I have some mixed feelings. I envisioned a memoir based on personal experiences, backed by a tonne of research to expose the industry. Instead, what I got was a compelling memoir on how she ended up in the porn industry, and her spiritual recovery through Christianity.
The first half of the book contained some convincing statistics, some quotes and testimonies from other porn stars. The second half is her plight to recovery and some background to her campaign. Basically, it's her testimony, her spiritual method of recovery, and an overall pretty decent story. There is a hint of second book at the very end.
All the best to her.
May 21, 2012
I was curious about the porn industry.
Shelley Lubben's book is a well written fast read on the subject.
Shelley likened porn to the Roman Circus Maximus. Entertainment
that became an opiate...as the Society crumbled.
Shelley's optimism and strong faith were in part responsible for turning her life around.
Now she has become an anti porn advocate, helping others in the industry
develop their own sense of faith and self worth.
Her website http://www.shelleylubben.com/
includes stories of others who've left the porn industry.
Shelley Lubben's book is a well written fast read on the subject.
Shelley likened porn to the Roman Circus Maximus. Entertainment
that became an opiate...as the Society crumbled.
Shelley's optimism and strong faith were in part responsible for turning her life around.
Now she has become an anti porn advocate, helping others in the industry
develop their own sense of faith and self worth.
Her website http://www.shelleylubben.com/
includes stories of others who've left the porn industry.
May 1, 2022
What an amazing book! It was a little graphic, but it was meant to be graphic to show you how Shelley Lubben's life was before coming to Christ. And what a dramatic change! God changed her completely. Books don't usually make me cry, but this book almost got me a couple of times. It was neat to read a story of a porn star accepting Jesus Christ as her personal savior, and her transformation into a warrior of Christ. I salute her for her battle against the porn industry. That's a hard battle to fight. Thanks, Shelley Lubben for sharing with us your testimony.
August 5, 2020
I don't want to belittle the horrific life that was Shelley Lubbens. But this book depicts almost nothing from the porn industry, but is rather a self biography from a woman who was a porn star for 1 year of her life, and however tragic her life was, it got a bit hard to read towards the end since she focused more on God and how he guided her through a voice inside her head, then of the actual horrors of the porn industry. Misleading title.
August 3, 2023
Writing: 5/5
Knowledge Gained: 4/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
The author Shelley Lubben is now deceased at the early age of 50. She has a hard life, this is her autobiography really, and not "about porn", as the title might suggest.
The only way to stop porn, is for women to have to ability to work in honest jobs with pay enough to support themselves and a household, and for men (and some women as well) to not watch it. All wars on drugs or sex will fail, unless we reduce the demand, not the supply. There aren't that many soap operas these days because people have stopped watching it, and the same will happen to mediocre superhero movies, it has to do with demand, and not supply.
There are a couple of memorable stories, such as her time spent in a mexican brothel, and finally getting out, her dancing skills in a strip club cabaret, and some of her prostitution and "sugaring" hustler experiences. She has also come a long way, and we should praise God for such a change. At one time, she was a homeless whore, barely scraping a living, with a toddler out of wedlock from a customer, stuck in a mexican brothel jail with no way of getting out, with herpes, an alcohol and drug addict with mental disorder. We fast forward a few years, she's a mother of three, with a honorably discharged God-loving husband, sunday school head and webmaster, got her degree (although at a degree mill), free from addiction, lots of dough, has extended families coming over to their house to swim in her pool and beautiful garden. She then started a pink cross foundation ministry to save women from porn, and was miraculously healed from herpes. God is truly awesome.
There are a few things of caution though, the "God talking with her" part. And I can comment on that as I am a Christian myself, I wouldn't call that an outright lie, but it is a lie to my belief, I also don't condone such behaviour. I would only accept anyone as a "prophet" who could accurately predict and understand supernatural wisdom, like the true prophet Moses, Elijah and Daniel, in the Bible. I'm also a bit icky about the "spiritual warfare" part. In my opinion, we should leave that to part to God.
Some other cautions, is that to judge a Christian, the best way is to observe their fruit. For example, does she lead a holy life in general? Does her ministry truly save others? How about those friends and family members close to her, as we know that birds of a feather flock together?
With a little research on the internet, I find comments like, and I paraphrase, "she's still a hustler, this time with religion", "her ministry is all about her, and about getting some cash", "she's a liar". One thing about liars, they forget what the truth is over time, and so, it makes me sad that I have to read her book with a grain of salt. She has also divorced her husband, in a messy divorce, of 20 years, while committing adultery with a 23 year old? homeless ranch worker that worked for her and her husband. This is not her first time committing adultery though, and at the ripe old age of forty something, still looking for a sugar daddy. She has also succumbed again to alcohol, which, if what I read was correct, she died of alcohol withdrawal symptoms. She is also quite profligate with money, and her two younger daughters chose to go with their dad and not with her after the divorce. Her eldest daughter, if what I read was correct, and God bless her because she truly suffered more, committed suicide at the young age of 30, leaving her husband and son still in this world grieving for her. I also read, and cannot confirm, that she didn't get herpes from her clients, but from a boyfriend, she also had a lesbian sexual girlfriend up until she met her husband.
Other than feeling melancholy for those that Shelley could have saved, I feel utmost lugubrious for her ex husband Garrett, and her 3 children. Shelley was unable to break free from her self-victimization. Although I would agree she did not have a healthy nor happy childhood, instead of venting, complaining, living in the past, she should've given thanks, and that is where her Champions Center church - still in operation - did not teach her. Only by thanksgiving. praying, always rejoicing, and looking at how far we've come, understand we are nothing in front of our Creator the Lord, could we break free of addiction and fully live life.
The addicts, myself included, got it all wrong. In one message that she wrote to her ex husband, she said she committed a little sin today. The sentence itself says it all, she's trying to not commit a sin, which is impossible, and not asking the Lord for forgiveness and live life. The Bible, and it's rules and commandments, shows the impossibility to not commit any sin, which is why we need to rely on the blood of Jesus to forgive our sins, and live life to the fullest. She's not living life, but trying to not make a mistake. In a football or sports sense, she's playing not to lose, while she should play to win!
Instead of focusing on how far God has blessed and taken her, she is still in victim mode, and it's all about me me me, while she really should take a good look at her husband who has stood beside her all these years, and the beautiful children God has given her. Give thanks is the key.
Knowledge Gained: 4/5
Enjoyment: 4/5
The author Shelley Lubben is now deceased at the early age of 50. She has a hard life, this is her autobiography really, and not "about porn", as the title might suggest.
The only way to stop porn, is for women to have to ability to work in honest jobs with pay enough to support themselves and a household, and for men (and some women as well) to not watch it. All wars on drugs or sex will fail, unless we reduce the demand, not the supply. There aren't that many soap operas these days because people have stopped watching it, and the same will happen to mediocre superhero movies, it has to do with demand, and not supply.
There are a couple of memorable stories, such as her time spent in a mexican brothel, and finally getting out, her dancing skills in a strip club cabaret, and some of her prostitution and "sugaring" hustler experiences. She has also come a long way, and we should praise God for such a change. At one time, she was a homeless whore, barely scraping a living, with a toddler out of wedlock from a customer, stuck in a mexican brothel jail with no way of getting out, with herpes, an alcohol and drug addict with mental disorder. We fast forward a few years, she's a mother of three, with a honorably discharged God-loving husband, sunday school head and webmaster, got her degree (although at a degree mill), free from addiction, lots of dough, has extended families coming over to their house to swim in her pool and beautiful garden. She then started a pink cross foundation ministry to save women from porn, and was miraculously healed from herpes. God is truly awesome.
There are a few things of caution though, the "God talking with her" part. And I can comment on that as I am a Christian myself, I wouldn't call that an outright lie, but it is a lie to my belief, I also don't condone such behaviour. I would only accept anyone as a "prophet" who could accurately predict and understand supernatural wisdom, like the true prophet Moses, Elijah and Daniel, in the Bible. I'm also a bit icky about the "spiritual warfare" part. In my opinion, we should leave that to part to God.
Some other cautions, is that to judge a Christian, the best way is to observe their fruit. For example, does she lead a holy life in general? Does her ministry truly save others? How about those friends and family members close to her, as we know that birds of a feather flock together?
With a little research on the internet, I find comments like, and I paraphrase, "she's still a hustler, this time with religion", "her ministry is all about her, and about getting some cash", "she's a liar". One thing about liars, they forget what the truth is over time, and so, it makes me sad that I have to read her book with a grain of salt. She has also divorced her husband, in a messy divorce, of 20 years, while committing adultery with a 23 year old? homeless ranch worker that worked for her and her husband. This is not her first time committing adultery though, and at the ripe old age of forty something, still looking for a sugar daddy. She has also succumbed again to alcohol, which, if what I read was correct, she died of alcohol withdrawal symptoms. She is also quite profligate with money, and her two younger daughters chose to go with their dad and not with her after the divorce. Her eldest daughter, if what I read was correct, and God bless her because she truly suffered more, committed suicide at the young age of 30, leaving her husband and son still in this world grieving for her. I also read, and cannot confirm, that she didn't get herpes from her clients, but from a boyfriend, she also had a lesbian sexual girlfriend up until she met her husband.
Other than feeling melancholy for those that Shelley could have saved, I feel utmost lugubrious for her ex husband Garrett, and her 3 children. Shelley was unable to break free from her self-victimization. Although I would agree she did not have a healthy nor happy childhood, instead of venting, complaining, living in the past, she should've given thanks, and that is where her Champions Center church - still in operation - did not teach her. Only by thanksgiving. praying, always rejoicing, and looking at how far we've come, understand we are nothing in front of our Creator the Lord, could we break free of addiction and fully live life.
The addicts, myself included, got it all wrong. In one message that she wrote to her ex husband, she said she committed a little sin today. The sentence itself says it all, she's trying to not commit a sin, which is impossible, and not asking the Lord for forgiveness and live life. The Bible, and it's rules and commandments, shows the impossibility to not commit any sin, which is why we need to rely on the blood of Jesus to forgive our sins, and live life to the fullest. She's not living life, but trying to not make a mistake. In a football or sports sense, she's playing not to lose, while she should play to win!
Instead of focusing on how far God has blessed and taken her, she is still in victim mode, and it's all about me me me, while she really should take a good look at her husband who has stood beside her all these years, and the beautiful children God has given her. Give thanks is the key.
December 30, 2013
??
I think the book was a good expose on the pornographic industry and how they treat the women and it's almost a way to stop viewing the fantasy and seeing the women as actual women and not the objects portrayed
I think the book was a good expose on the pornographic industry and how they treat the women and it's almost a way to stop viewing the fantasy and seeing the women as actual women and not the objects portrayed
August 30, 2015
Book that mentions God one too many times :(
December 10, 2012
The first half was good. Not as much detail as I had hoped.
December 19, 2011
This book was an interesting and intriguing find for me. I discovered it when purchasing "Scars and Stilettos" by Harmony Dust on Amazon.com. Harmony is a friend of a friend and I'd heard about her powerful testimony as a redeemed stripper. When I ordered a copy of her book, Amazon suggested I purchase Shelley Lubben's book with it. A redeemed porn actress? Intriguing. And talk about humbling.
So I ordered my package deal and waited for my delivery. Once these books arrived, I did not put Lubben's book down until I finished it yesterday on my birthday. (Parties can wait--I was in the middle of a good book...)
A stripper, prostitute, and porn star, Lubben lived years of her life in a deep, dark hole struggling with alcoholism, drugs, unwanted pregnancies, abuse, neglect and a sense of desperation you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. In a nutshell? A classic porn star's background. And I don't mean that to be insensitive or cold. However, when women come from a past as broken as some of today's porn stars and have this inner desire, inner NEED, to find validation from others (men or women) they can lose their sense of value and self and seek it anywhere they can. Shelley's first "trick" paid her $35. And just like that, she began a destructive path of selling her body and trading her soul.
The star rating I gave this book is on the low side because to be perfectly honest, I'm still nauseous from the graphic detail of stories such as how she conceived her first daughter, her first filmed scene, and some of the rough abuse she and other porn actresses have suffered through. But similar to my thoughts on Precious (whether it's true or not--that's another story), maybe some stories can't be told without the gritty detail. And I do mean grit. Like, eyes wide open, one eye closed maybe, holding the book away from you, wanting to take a shower and wash yourself from what you just read gritty. Like "women actually do this and suffer through this?" and "how does one get to this place--what must be going on in their mind?" Am I being too sensitive? I don't think so...
The porn industry is a $70 BILLION DOLLARS a year industry. That is more than all professional sports combined. Is this for real?? This is our number one entertainment in today's world? I don't mean to get off on a soap box, but everytime you click on a porn site, buy a magazine, rent a video (gross--think of who else has "rented" them), you are contributing to the degradation of thousands of women stuck in a vicious cycle. What is hard to understand is how porn stars like Jenna Jameson can make no apologies for their career, show no signs of guilt, rather think they are quite the business women, and then there are others who are crying--literally crying. Crying in pain, crying in agony, crying for their souls, crying. Screaming. How do they deal with it? Drugs. Alcohol. Whatever numbs the pain to make it even a percent enjoyable so you can get through it and get your paycheck to cover your rent, or feed that unwanted baby, or, as sad as it may be, get that next high.
Shelley will take you through her dark experiences (and she's got some dark ones-- she contracted herpes, a non-curable disease that resulted in early cervical cancer where half of her cervix was removed), to the rejection of her parents, and her near deadly experience in a Mexican brothel.
But what is ASTOUNDING (and I mean ASTOUNDING--what word is better than that, I'm not sure), is how God proved faithful to Shelley even on set. Even in the dark alleys, even when prostituting herself. God was there. Whispering to her, protecting her from even WORSE consequences (and yes, there were some--wait until she recalls in hindsight toward the end of the book). God kept her near Him and proved the promise in the Bible when it tells us to raise a child in the way he/she is to go and when he/she is older they will not depart from it. Praise God that Shelley had childhood church experiences where she fell in love with Jesus early on! But hey, any Christian will tell you it's easy to wander and stray as we get older, gain freedom, seek acceptance among our peers, etc. Some just take it a lot farther than others.
Shelley is herpes-free (can you attribute that to anything other than God?!), married and with 3 daughters. Her first-born (who was conceived during one of her nights prostituting)writes a chapter in the book as well about her pain from porn-- including her mother's boyfriends molesting hers and attempts at suicide.
Devastating most of the time, readers cannot deny the power of God in Shelley's life. And the biggest takeaway message for me? If God can prove faithful to Shelley during her years stripping for strangers, sleeping with strangers for money, and engaging in rough sex acts on film that will stay forever, and then redeem her and give her a powerful ministry because of it... well, then God is faithful to ALL of us and can use ALL of us. How could anybody read this book and NOT take that message away?
Sometimes the very thing we work hardest to escape is the very thing God can heal us from and call us BACK to to minister to others still trapped in the vicious cycle. And that's exactly what He did and is still doing in Shelley's life. Bravo, Shelley, for sharing your painful story. I know that couldn't have been easy, but God is the perfect Healer and Redeemer. Praise Him for rescuing you and keeping you near! Praying for you and your family this holiday season to know a joy and peace you've never felt as you bask in the glory of His presence.
http://bookwormz2010.wordpress.com/20...
So I ordered my package deal and waited for my delivery. Once these books arrived, I did not put Lubben's book down until I finished it yesterday on my birthday. (Parties can wait--I was in the middle of a good book...)
A stripper, prostitute, and porn star, Lubben lived years of her life in a deep, dark hole struggling with alcoholism, drugs, unwanted pregnancies, abuse, neglect and a sense of desperation you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. In a nutshell? A classic porn star's background. And I don't mean that to be insensitive or cold. However, when women come from a past as broken as some of today's porn stars and have this inner desire, inner NEED, to find validation from others (men or women) they can lose their sense of value and self and seek it anywhere they can. Shelley's first "trick" paid her $35. And just like that, she began a destructive path of selling her body and trading her soul.
The star rating I gave this book is on the low side because to be perfectly honest, I'm still nauseous from the graphic detail of stories such as how she conceived her first daughter, her first filmed scene, and some of the rough abuse she and other porn actresses have suffered through. But similar to my thoughts on Precious (whether it's true or not--that's another story), maybe some stories can't be told without the gritty detail. And I do mean grit. Like, eyes wide open, one eye closed maybe, holding the book away from you, wanting to take a shower and wash yourself from what you just read gritty. Like "women actually do this and suffer through this?" and "how does one get to this place--what must be going on in their mind?" Am I being too sensitive? I don't think so...
The porn industry is a $70 BILLION DOLLARS a year industry. That is more than all professional sports combined. Is this for real?? This is our number one entertainment in today's world? I don't mean to get off on a soap box, but everytime you click on a porn site, buy a magazine, rent a video (gross--think of who else has "rented" them), you are contributing to the degradation of thousands of women stuck in a vicious cycle. What is hard to understand is how porn stars like Jenna Jameson can make no apologies for their career, show no signs of guilt, rather think they are quite the business women, and then there are others who are crying--literally crying. Crying in pain, crying in agony, crying for their souls, crying. Screaming. How do they deal with it? Drugs. Alcohol. Whatever numbs the pain to make it even a percent enjoyable so you can get through it and get your paycheck to cover your rent, or feed that unwanted baby, or, as sad as it may be, get that next high.
Shelley will take you through her dark experiences (and she's got some dark ones-- she contracted herpes, a non-curable disease that resulted in early cervical cancer where half of her cervix was removed), to the rejection of her parents, and her near deadly experience in a Mexican brothel.
But what is ASTOUNDING (and I mean ASTOUNDING--what word is better than that, I'm not sure), is how God proved faithful to Shelley even on set. Even in the dark alleys, even when prostituting herself. God was there. Whispering to her, protecting her from even WORSE consequences (and yes, there were some--wait until she recalls in hindsight toward the end of the book). God kept her near Him and proved the promise in the Bible when it tells us to raise a child in the way he/she is to go and when he/she is older they will not depart from it. Praise God that Shelley had childhood church experiences where she fell in love with Jesus early on! But hey, any Christian will tell you it's easy to wander and stray as we get older, gain freedom, seek acceptance among our peers, etc. Some just take it a lot farther than others.
Shelley is herpes-free (can you attribute that to anything other than God?!), married and with 3 daughters. Her first-born (who was conceived during one of her nights prostituting)writes a chapter in the book as well about her pain from porn-- including her mother's boyfriends molesting hers and attempts at suicide.
Devastating most of the time, readers cannot deny the power of God in Shelley's life. And the biggest takeaway message for me? If God can prove faithful to Shelley during her years stripping for strangers, sleeping with strangers for money, and engaging in rough sex acts on film that will stay forever, and then redeem her and give her a powerful ministry because of it... well, then God is faithful to ALL of us and can use ALL of us. How could anybody read this book and NOT take that message away?
Sometimes the very thing we work hardest to escape is the very thing God can heal us from and call us BACK to to minister to others still trapped in the vicious cycle. And that's exactly what He did and is still doing in Shelley's life. Bravo, Shelley, for sharing your painful story. I know that couldn't have been easy, but God is the perfect Healer and Redeemer. Praise Him for rescuing you and keeping you near! Praying for you and your family this holiday season to know a joy and peace you've never felt as you bask in the glory of His presence.
http://bookwormz2010.wordpress.com/20...
May 1, 2022
He pain, her sorrow, her hopelessness, her fall, her rise, her belief in God and her need to help others who may fall victim to porn addiction or porn stars who're already victimised by porn is that you read in the book. If you're euphoric and not interested in her story... this book is not going to resonate with you.
January 17, 2020
Not a bad read but it falls into a whoa, look at poor old me story. Someone who did everything to herself and then some, now preaching the word of God unto others.
First half definitely the better read, second half was like turning on the TV only to be stuck on the Christian channel.
First half definitely the better read, second half was like turning on the TV only to be stuck on the Christian channel.
November 17, 2020
Too much religious gibberish for my taste.
July 19, 2025
Such an insightful and open look into Shelley's life, it is not wonder she turned to prostitution, and it makes me feel compassion for all beings who are in that world. I admire her strength and courage to have lived a life after prostitution in such an open way. I read this book whilst camping with some friends and it was a tear jerker. I loved reading about her connection to God and how she felt he saved her - gave me shivers down my spine. R.I.P Shelley!
June 23, 2012
five stars isnt enough for this one. five hundred at least, if i had the choice.
October 10, 2014
I read PDF version of this book. This is a good book. Author shares her real life experience against this demonic influence. She also shares how God rescued her from this fantasy world.
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