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The Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery #1
The Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery, Vol. 1: 1889-1910
Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874- 1942)-whose Anne of Green Gables and many other novels are loved by readers around the world-kept extensive journals for most of her life, beginning them in 1889 when she was fourteen and continuing them until shortly before her death. Spontaneous and frank, they are unusual for their narrative interest: Montgomery's gifts as a storyteller are as much evidence here as in her novels.
This first volume of the immensely successful Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery launched in 1985, takes Montgomery to 1910, the year before her marriage, when she left Prince Edward Island. The autobiographical content will fascinate every devoted reader of the Anne books. But the Montgomery journals are especially interesting because they provide a unique social history and the privilege of viewing closely the life of a remarkable woman. Comprising perhaps the most vivid and detailed memoir in Canadian letters, the journals join Anne of Green Gables in ensuring Montgomery's lasting place in Canadian literature. This volume is a rich and engrossing prelude to the whole.
This first volume of the immensely successful Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery launched in 1985, takes Montgomery to 1910, the year before her marriage, when she left Prince Edward Island. The autobiographical content will fascinate every devoted reader of the Anne books. But the Montgomery journals are especially interesting because they provide a unique social history and the privilege of viewing closely the life of a remarkable woman. Comprising perhaps the most vivid and detailed memoir in Canadian letters, the journals join Anne of Green Gables in ensuring Montgomery's lasting place in Canadian literature. This volume is a rich and engrossing prelude to the whole.
424 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
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About the author
L.M. Montgomery
1,863 books13.2k followersLucy Maud Montgomery was a Canadian author, best known for a series of novels beginning with Anne of Green Gables, published in 1908.
Montgomery was born at Clifton, Prince Edward Island, Nov. 30, 1874. She came to live at Leaskdale, north of Uxbridge Ontario, after her wedding with Rev. Ewen Macdonald on July 11, 1911. She had three children and wrote close to a dozen books while she was living in the Leaskdale Manse before the family moved to Norval, Ontario in 1926. She died in Toronto April 24, 1942 and was buried at Cavendish, Prince Edward Island.
Montgomery was born at Clifton, Prince Edward Island, Nov. 30, 1874. She came to live at Leaskdale, north of Uxbridge Ontario, after her wedding with Rev. Ewen Macdonald on July 11, 1911. She had three children and wrote close to a dozen books while she was living in the Leaskdale Manse before the family moved to Norval, Ontario in 1926. She died in Toronto April 24, 1942 and was buried at Cavendish, Prince Edward Island.
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June 3, 2019
The Selected Journals of L.M. Montgomery, Vol. 1: 1889-1910 are engagingly eye-opening, but to truly enjoy L. M. Montgomery's journals, one must also be both willing and indeed able to appreciate journalistic writing and accept that it does often tend to contain a plethora of mundane everyday details (not really an issue for me, as I both enjoy journals and that basically with any and all information concerning L.M. Montgomery, I do tend to crave and ingest this like chocolate marshmallow candy, but I do feel I should at least leave somewhat of a caveat).
But that being said, these are but "selective" journals, and unfortunately, a rather goodly amount of especially the more negative and troubling musings by Lucy Maud Montgomery (mostly from when Maud was a teenager and young adult), passages that would have demonstrated that even then (between 1889 to 1910) she often had the tendency towards both bouts of euphoria and depression, have been rather heavily redacted. Personally I believe that this was done primarily at the behest of the publisher, but it still somewhat majorly chafed and rankled when it became clear (when it became public knowledge) a few years ago that L. M. Montgomery's journal entries had obviously been knowingly and deliberately edited to present and show her as basically a for the most part rather content and typical teenager and young adult (which is definitely not the entire truth by any and all stretch of the imagination). And yes, I was, of course, always well aware that this was and is but a "selective" offering (as the title itself clearly states this as a fact), but I certainly did not at first realise just how deliberately, massively and in my opinion misleadingly selective it tended to be. But thankfully, The Complete Journals of L.M. Montgomery: The PEI Years, 1889-1900 was published in 2012 and it does claim to present ALL of Maud's thoughts and musings, with no editorial interference and omissions (but as I have not as yet started to peruse this, I can only state that I am looking forward to it, and to finally being able to read ALL of Lucy Maud Montgomery's journal entries, at least until 1900, one of my proposed reading projects for the autumn of 2019).
But that being said, these are but "selective" journals, and unfortunately, a rather goodly amount of especially the more negative and troubling musings by Lucy Maud Montgomery (mostly from when Maud was a teenager and young adult), passages that would have demonstrated that even then (between 1889 to 1910) she often had the tendency towards both bouts of euphoria and depression, have been rather heavily redacted. Personally I believe that this was done primarily at the behest of the publisher, but it still somewhat majorly chafed and rankled when it became clear (when it became public knowledge) a few years ago that L. M. Montgomery's journal entries had obviously been knowingly and deliberately edited to present and show her as basically a for the most part rather content and typical teenager and young adult (which is definitely not the entire truth by any and all stretch of the imagination). And yes, I was, of course, always well aware that this was and is but a "selective" offering (as the title itself clearly states this as a fact), but I certainly did not at first realise just how deliberately, massively and in my opinion misleadingly selective it tended to be. But thankfully, The Complete Journals of L.M. Montgomery: The PEI Years, 1889-1900 was published in 2012 and it does claim to present ALL of Maud's thoughts and musings, with no editorial interference and omissions (but as I have not as yet started to peruse this, I can only state that I am looking forward to it, and to finally being able to read ALL of Lucy Maud Montgomery's journal entries, at least until 1900, one of my proposed reading projects for the autumn of 2019).
January 15, 2009
Note - I wrote this in 2006 - before I (and the world) learned that Maud had committed suicide. How sad - and yet, not surprising, based on my experience reading her journal.
These are, as the title indicates, the first printed and edited volume of L.M. Montgomery's journals. I had wanted to read them for sometime, but the book is out of print, not available at my local library, and even hard to find used on-line. Found it, finally, at Powell's (where else?). It was a hard read, at times, but a satisfying one. It was exciting to see what parts of Anne, Emily, Valancy, and even dim old Pat came from Maud (as she called herself - never Lucy), and to read passages from her journal that made it to her books, such as Anne's description of her perfect wedding, which Maud thought of for herself first.* From a historical point of view, it was interesting to learn about the life of a young girl and woman growing up in the turn-of-century Eastern Canada. One thing that surprised me, for example, is how much interaction the opposite sex had with each other, alone and unsupervised. Not that anything untoward was going on (well, except for the whole Hermann Leard thing), but one imagines the post-Victorians being so repressed, and that was not necessarily the case. So, that was interesting.
But it was so, so sad to track her life from her excited and joyous teenage years to her sad depressed adulthood. I am not saying her life was always miserable - she obviously had great professional success, and I am willing to believe that she turned to her journal as an outlet for things she couldn't say to anyone else, especially since she didn't write that often later on. That is to say, that it reflected the absolute worse parts of her life. Nevertheless, it is clear that she became stuck taking care of her cold heartless grandmother, and that life, to some extent slipped her by. A girl who turned down many marriage proposals, and clearly enjoyed flirting and men, ended up in a marriage of convenience to save herself from being lonely. A woman who craved companionship and beauty lived basically alone in her cold house with her cold grandmother for years. She felt things deeply, suffered from depression and, what's worse, knew that she was living the wrong life for her. It's a tragedy, pure and simple. To think that we who have so loved her books benefited from her misery (in that, she had nothing else to turn to but the printed page) makes almost makes me guilty. On the other hand, at least she had that - and if she suffered, she has brought many of us joy.
Oh-la-la - wasn't that a Montgomerian cadence there too? Flowery and sad, and all. Anyway, it seems that her young life was like Anne (an orphan who overcame her unhappiness through her love of beauty), and her later life like Emily or Valancy, but without the happy escape from misery. Poor thing! I'd like to read her other journals, for sure, but I think I'll wait until I come up on them in a used bookstore or what have you - I am disinclined to actively seek out such sadness.
On a petty note, it took me forever to finish this book, because the hardcover copy I had was so annoying to read. It wouldn't lay flat, and it was heavy and I was always having to hold my wrists at odd angles to keep it open. I didn't want to crack the spine, since it was so hard to find the book, so I could only read a bit before I got so annoyed that I put it down and grabbed something else!
*That would be to slip into the forest at the early dawn, meet the one you love and be married, with no prying eyes or meaningless ceremony.
These are, as the title indicates, the first printed and edited volume of L.M. Montgomery's journals. I had wanted to read them for sometime, but the book is out of print, not available at my local library, and even hard to find used on-line. Found it, finally, at Powell's (where else?). It was a hard read, at times, but a satisfying one. It was exciting to see what parts of Anne, Emily, Valancy, and even dim old Pat came from Maud (as she called herself - never Lucy), and to read passages from her journal that made it to her books, such as Anne's description of her perfect wedding, which Maud thought of for herself first.* From a historical point of view, it was interesting to learn about the life of a young girl and woman growing up in the turn-of-century Eastern Canada. One thing that surprised me, for example, is how much interaction the opposite sex had with each other, alone and unsupervised. Not that anything untoward was going on (well, except for the whole Hermann Leard thing), but one imagines the post-Victorians being so repressed, and that was not necessarily the case. So, that was interesting.
But it was so, so sad to track her life from her excited and joyous teenage years to her sad depressed adulthood. I am not saying her life was always miserable - she obviously had great professional success, and I am willing to believe that she turned to her journal as an outlet for things she couldn't say to anyone else, especially since she didn't write that often later on. That is to say, that it reflected the absolute worse parts of her life. Nevertheless, it is clear that she became stuck taking care of her cold heartless grandmother, and that life, to some extent slipped her by. A girl who turned down many marriage proposals, and clearly enjoyed flirting and men, ended up in a marriage of convenience to save herself from being lonely. A woman who craved companionship and beauty lived basically alone in her cold house with her cold grandmother for years. She felt things deeply, suffered from depression and, what's worse, knew that she was living the wrong life for her. It's a tragedy, pure and simple. To think that we who have so loved her books benefited from her misery (in that, she had nothing else to turn to but the printed page) makes almost makes me guilty. On the other hand, at least she had that - and if she suffered, she has brought many of us joy.
Oh-la-la - wasn't that a Montgomerian cadence there too? Flowery and sad, and all. Anyway, it seems that her young life was like Anne (an orphan who overcame her unhappiness through her love of beauty), and her later life like Emily or Valancy, but without the happy escape from misery. Poor thing! I'd like to read her other journals, for sure, but I think I'll wait until I come up on them in a used bookstore or what have you - I am disinclined to actively seek out such sadness.
On a petty note, it took me forever to finish this book, because the hardcover copy I had was so annoying to read. It wouldn't lay flat, and it was heavy and I was always having to hold my wrists at odd angles to keep it open. I didn't want to crack the spine, since it was so hard to find the book, so I could only read a bit before I got so annoyed that I put it down and grabbed something else!
*That would be to slip into the forest at the early dawn, meet the one you love and be married, with no prying eyes or meaningless ceremony.
August 3, 2023
باز هم کتابی که دوست دارم بهش بیشتر از پنج ستاره بدم.
افسوس برانگیزه که خالق آنه شرلیِ شاد و پر شَروشور، چنین زندگی سراسر تنهایی و غمی رو گذرونده باشه. در جایی از کتاب، خود بانو مونتگمری هم اظهار تعجب کرده که اثری از تلخی روحیاتش، نتونسته داخل کتابش راه پیدا کنه.
موقع خوندن کتاب، حسرت خوردم که فرهنگ کشورم حتی در مقایسه با فرهنگ اون موقعِ کانادا هم عقبه. حسرت خوردم که شانس دیدن کوچهی عُشاق و طبیعت بکر جزیرهی پرنس ادوارد رو ندارم. حسرت خوردم که انقدر با احساسات تلخ نویسنده همذاتپنداری میکنم و حسرت خوردم که چنین روح پر استعدادی، اینطور غمانگیز سرکوب شده.
این روزها داره اتفاقات عجیبی توی زندگیم میافته که بیشتر از قبل گیجم میکنن. خوندن این کتاب هم یکی دیگه از اون اتفاقات عجیبه و اینکه نمیتونم دلیلش رو برای هیچکس توضیح بدم (نه اینکه نخوام، بلکه کسی نیست که درک کنه) همهچیز رو سختتر میکنه.
امیدوارم روحت در آرامش باشه بانو مونتگمریِ زیبای عزیزم. اون شخصیت لطیف حتی بیشتر از ظرفیتش توی این دنیای بیرحم زجر کشیده.
افسوس برانگیزه که خالق آنه شرلیِ شاد و پر شَروشور، چنین زندگی سراسر تنهایی و غمی رو گذرونده باشه. در جایی از کتاب، خود بانو مونتگمری هم اظهار تعجب کرده که اثری از تلخی روحیاتش، نتونسته داخل کتابش راه پیدا کنه.
موقع خوندن کتاب، حسرت خوردم که فرهنگ کشورم حتی در مقایسه با فرهنگ اون موقعِ کانادا هم عقبه. حسرت خوردم که شانس دیدن کوچهی عُشاق و طبیعت بکر جزیرهی پرنس ادوارد رو ندارم. حسرت خوردم که انقدر با احساسات تلخ نویسنده همذاتپنداری میکنم و حسرت خوردم که چنین روح پر استعدادی، اینطور غمانگیز سرکوب شده.
این روزها داره اتفاقات عجیبی توی زندگیم میافته که بیشتر از قبل گیجم میکنن. خوندن این کتاب هم یکی دیگه از اون اتفاقات عجیبه و اینکه نمیتونم دلیلش رو برای هیچکس توضیح بدم (نه اینکه نخوام، بلکه کسی نیست که درک کنه) همهچیز رو سختتر میکنه.
امیدوارم روحت در آرامش باشه بانو مونتگمریِ زیبای عزیزم. اون شخصیت لطیف حتی بیشتر از ظرفیتش توی این دنیای بیرحم زجر کشیده.
January 22, 2022
و بالاخره تمام.
خیلی برای خریدن این کتاب ذوق داشتم. این جلد اول از پنج جلد دفترخاطرهی مونتگمری هست که فقط همین توی ایران ترجمه شده. و از نوجوونی تا میانهی سی سالگیش رو در بر میگیره. از دوران مدرسهش، عشق های بزرگ و کوچکش، دوران تحصیلش، یک سال زندگی کردن با پدر و نامادریش، کالج رفتنش، فارغ التحصیل شدنش، معلم شدنش، سه سال تدریسش در بیدیفورد، بلمانت و بیدک تا چاپ جلد اول و دوم آنه شرلی و شروع داستان "دختر قصه گو" رو در بر میگیره. ماد دختر سرزنده، شاد و بسیار باهوشیه. و من با تموم کردن کتاب حس کردم چقدر حالم شبیه تموم کردن جلد اول آنه شرلیه. هم در کتاب و هم در انیمهی آنه شرلی در گرین گیبلز، شما میتونین سیر تغییرات شخصیت آنه رو قشنگ حس کنین. آنه در کودکیش شخصیتی شاد و پرشروشور و خوش ذوق داره، و با بزرگ شدنش این ویژگی ها جای خودشون رو به متانت، آرامش و سردی و صبوری میدن. جوری که حتی صدای ماریلا هم درمیاد. ما دلمون برای اون دختر شاد و خوش ذوق تنگ میشه ولی کاری نمیتونیم بکنیم. چون این کاریه که بزرگسالی با آدم ها میکنه.
البته وضعیت روحی ماد به شدت رو به وخامت میره در پایان کتاب. درست زمانی که داره شادترین کتاب هاش رو خلق میکنه وضعیت عصبیش به هیچ وجه خوب نیست. که همین باعث شد من دلم برای ماد اول کتاب تنگ بشه.
خیلی از اتفاقات کتاب براتون آشنا میان. قشنگ متوجه میشین تعداد زیادی از اتفاقات دنیای امیلی و آنه، از زندگی خود ماد سرچشمه گرفتن و این لحظهها میتونه براتون به شدت لذت بخش باشه. خوندن این کتاب لذت بخشه، مخصوصا برای کسانی که طرفدار مونتگمری هستن اما من تصمیم گرفتم ادامهش(۴ جلد بعدی) رو نخونم. حتی اگر ترجمه بشه یا زبان اصلیش رو پیدا کنم. نمیتونم باور کنم آدمی که به زندگی من انقدر نور پاشیده در سال های آخرش افسرده و غمگین میشه و نهایتا با خودکشی کار خودشو تموم میکنه!(این داخل جلد پنجم اتفاق میفته).
ولی بابت این خوانش خوشحالم. چون من رو به مونتگمری خیلی نزدیک کرد؛ چیزی که همیشه آرزوش رو داشتم.
_امشب سرکش شدهام. احساس میکنم طبق فلسفهی کلوین، خدا واقعا سنگدل است و مخلوقاتش را نه به سزای گناهان خودشان بلکه برای تفریح خودش شکنجه میدهد. دلم میخواهد سرش فریاد بزنم "چرا من را طوری خلق کرده ای که اینقدر رنج بکشم؟ چرا همهی امیدها و عاطفه ها و غریزههایی که در من نهادی به دست خودت خنثی میکنی؟ از این به بعد، عشق و احترامی که نثارت میکنم در حد جانور در دام افتادهایست که به صیادش عشق میورزد.
در روزهای بعد احتمالا از خواندن این وحشت میکنم. ولی باید بماند.
خیلی برای خریدن این کتاب ذوق داشتم. این جلد اول از پنج جلد دفترخاطرهی مونتگمری هست که فقط همین توی ایران ترجمه شده. و از نوجوونی تا میانهی سی سالگیش رو در بر میگیره. از دوران مدرسهش، عشق های بزرگ و کوچکش، دوران تحصیلش، یک سال زندگی کردن با پدر و نامادریش، کالج رفتنش، فارغ التحصیل شدنش، معلم شدنش، سه سال تدریسش در بیدیفورد، بلمانت و بیدک تا چاپ جلد اول و دوم آنه شرلی و شروع داستان "دختر قصه گو" رو در بر میگیره. ماد دختر سرزنده، شاد و بسیار باهوشیه. و من با تموم کردن کتاب حس کردم چقدر حالم شبیه تموم کردن جلد اول آنه شرلیه. هم در کتاب و هم در انیمهی آنه شرلی در گرین گیبلز، شما میتونین سیر تغییرات شخصیت آنه رو قشنگ حس کنین. آنه در کودکیش شخصیتی شاد و پرشروشور و خوش ذوق داره، و با بزرگ شدنش این ویژگی ها جای خودشون رو به متانت، آرامش و سردی و صبوری میدن. جوری که حتی صدای ماریلا هم درمیاد. ما دلمون برای اون دختر شاد و خوش ذوق تنگ میشه ولی کاری نمیتونیم بکنیم. چون این کاریه که بزرگسالی با آدم ها میکنه.
البته وضعیت روحی ماد به شدت رو به وخامت میره در پایان کتاب. درست زمانی که داره شادترین کتاب هاش رو خلق میکنه وضعیت عصبیش به هیچ وجه خوب نیست. که همین باعث شد من دلم برای ماد اول کتاب تنگ بشه.
خیلی از اتفاقات کتاب براتون آشنا میان. قشنگ متوجه میشین تعداد زیادی از اتفاقات دنیای امیلی و آنه، از زندگی خود ماد سرچشمه گرفتن و این لحظهها میتونه براتون به شدت لذت بخش باشه. خوندن این کتاب لذت بخشه، مخصوصا برای کسانی که طرفدار مونتگمری هستن اما من تصمیم گرفتم ادامهش(۴ جلد بعدی) رو نخونم. حتی اگر ترجمه بشه یا زبان اصلیش رو پیدا کنم. نمیتونم باور کنم آدمی که به زندگی من انقدر نور پاشیده در سال های آخرش افسرده و غمگین میشه و نهایتا با خودکشی کار خودشو تموم میکنه!(این داخل جلد پنجم اتفاق میفته).
ولی بابت این خوانش خوشحالم. چون من رو به مونتگمری خیلی نزدیک کرد؛ چیزی که همیشه آرزوش رو داشتم.
_امشب سرکش شدهام. احساس میکنم طبق فلسفهی کلوین، خدا واقعا سنگدل است و مخلوقاتش را نه به سزای گناهان خودشان بلکه برای تفریح خودش شکنجه میدهد. دلم میخواهد سرش فریاد بزنم "چرا من را طوری خلق کرده ای که اینقدر رنج بکشم؟ چرا همهی امیدها و عاطفه ها و غریزههایی که در من نهادی به دست خودت خنثی میکنی؟ از این به بعد، عشق و احترامی که نثارت میکنم در حد جانور در دام افتادهایست که به صیادش عشق میورزد.
در روزهای بعد احتمالا از خواندن این وحشت میکنم. ولی باید بماند.
June 6, 2011
I'm happy to have read it - and happy that I stuck with it after the first few boring pages. I'm not sure if I really liked it. I wanted more about writing, and she does talk about working and stories being accepted, but never in detail. The first we hear of Anne is two years after she started writing it! I think it will probably get better in the next volume, though, since she's going to publish novels more regularly. I'm still unsure if I'll pick the next books up, though. Poor Maud Montgomery is very depressed at time, and it makes for a sad read. It's truly marvelous that she managed to write such wonderful books, filled with sunshine and happiness and love, when she was so deprived of all these things herself.
It was very interesting however to see bits and pieces of her future novels in her own thoughts - like Pickwick making its readers hungry, or Maud's thoughts on her ideal wedding (which Anne repeats), Bonnie the geranium, Gyp the dog and of course PEI and its many beautiful spots, like Lovers' Lane.
It was very interesting however to see bits and pieces of her future novels in her own thoughts - like Pickwick making its readers hungry, or Maud's thoughts on her ideal wedding (which Anne repeats), Bonnie the geranium, Gyp the dog and of course PEI and its many beautiful spots, like Lovers' Lane.
March 6, 2011
It's going to be hard for me to be calm and collected enough to write a dispassionate review of this one. I am so an L. M. Montgomery fangirl.
I think the thing I liked most was to discover that Montgomery really was like the characters in her books. I knew that several of the situations in her books were taken from her real life, but I had no idea how many and to what extent they were taken from her life. No wonder Anne & Emily both receive so much grief from the locals when they find themselves written up in the girls' stories - Montgomery did it all the time in hers, and did so intentionally.
Montgomery has a cousin Jimmy exactly like Emily's. She grew up loving Cavendish's Lover's Lane even more than Anne loved Avonlea's. She loved to prowl around the shore, much as Anne did during her time in the House of Dreams. Her resentment of the relatives who felt it their duty to discipline her due to lack of parents, was almost word for word that of poor Emily. Several of her exploits at Prince William College and Dalhousie University were reminiscent of Anne's college adventures.
Unfortunately there was no Gilbert Blythe, but Herman Leard was much more scandalous.
Also of note was the beginning of her lifelong battle with depression. I'd read about her battle with depression that became pronounced especially later in her life. It's interesting how most of her heroines grow up in similar situations of depravation as she did, but they are all saved just before the emotional starvation is about to kill them. Marilla's heart slowly warms. Aunt Elizabeth breaks her ankle and suddenly realizes that Emily's stories are quite good at making time pass for a bed-ridden woman. Valancy summons up the courage to leave her stifling family and find a fulfilling life among those who expect nothing but her true self.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that that fortunate break quite happens for Maude. At the end of this volume she is engaged to a sweet man, he is not the overwhelmingly wonderful hero of any of her stories, but merely a nice man who makes life bearable for her. Unfortunately, she cannot marry him until her grandmother passes away. The stubborn, cold, petty woman may make starve her life of human companionship, but leaving her means leaving her beloved Cavendish, something Montgomery simply cannot do.
In short, if you love Anne of Green Gables or any of Montgomery's other books, you'll love reading her journal. It's very similar to her stories, but deceptively long. It was an interesting and engaging read, but it took me several weeks with a few afternoons devoted solely to reading to finally finish it, but the time was well worth it.
I think the thing I liked most was to discover that Montgomery really was like the characters in her books. I knew that several of the situations in her books were taken from her real life, but I had no idea how many and to what extent they were taken from her life. No wonder Anne & Emily both receive so much grief from the locals when they find themselves written up in the girls' stories - Montgomery did it all the time in hers, and did so intentionally.
Montgomery has a cousin Jimmy exactly like Emily's. She grew up loving Cavendish's Lover's Lane even more than Anne loved Avonlea's. She loved to prowl around the shore, much as Anne did during her time in the House of Dreams. Her resentment of the relatives who felt it their duty to discipline her due to lack of parents, was almost word for word that of poor Emily. Several of her exploits at Prince William College and Dalhousie University were reminiscent of Anne's college adventures.
Unfortunately there was no Gilbert Blythe, but Herman Leard was much more scandalous.
Also of note was the beginning of her lifelong battle with depression. I'd read about her battle with depression that became pronounced especially later in her life. It's interesting how most of her heroines grow up in similar situations of depravation as she did, but they are all saved just before the emotional starvation is about to kill them. Marilla's heart slowly warms. Aunt Elizabeth breaks her ankle and suddenly realizes that Emily's stories are quite good at making time pass for a bed-ridden woman. Valancy summons up the courage to leave her stifling family and find a fulfilling life among those who expect nothing but her true self.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that that fortunate break quite happens for Maude. At the end of this volume she is engaged to a sweet man, he is not the overwhelmingly wonderful hero of any of her stories, but merely a nice man who makes life bearable for her. Unfortunately, she cannot marry him until her grandmother passes away. The stubborn, cold, petty woman may make starve her life of human companionship, but leaving her means leaving her beloved Cavendish, something Montgomery simply cannot do.
In short, if you love Anne of Green Gables or any of Montgomery's other books, you'll love reading her journal. It's very similar to her stories, but deceptively long. It was an interesting and engaging read, but it took me several weeks with a few afternoons devoted solely to reading to finally finish it, but the time was well worth it.
October 6, 2021
I can't decide if I feel privileged or horrified for reading the most intimate thoughts of Maude's world. Part of me selfishly delights in the changing tide of her life and the delicious details that come forth (oh Herman!) but there is another part of me that wonders if I have violated this sad, sad soul. Perhaps this dichotomy in extremes is beauty itself. As she says herself, "Is it because the higher the tree reaches towards the stars the deeper must its roots strike into the soil of the earth?" Isn't it amazing how our unscripted lives have a drama, a cadence, a 'plot' all of their own?
October 28, 2011
Now-the five stars is not because this book was so enjoyable I get a thrill every time I see it or think of it. My anticipation was that it would be 'a source of hope and inspiration.'
Not quite. Since LMM's books are so light-filled I assumed that she lived her own life the way her heroines did, feeling loved and fulfilled.
The five stars are for the glimpse the journal gave me into Maud's life, which was really quite dark. No wonder her books and stories are so radiant. She must have found refuge for herself in them.
And she thought Anne of Green Gables wasn't a great book! When I read that I wanted to scream, "You succeeded enormously, Maud!"
Sorry.. I just got very emotionally involved in her journal. *SPOILER* when she wrote that Herman Leard was dead I closed the book in real dismay.
I will definitely read the other four volumes of LMM's journals. It might take a while-they're expensive.
Not quite. Since LMM's books are so light-filled I assumed that she lived her own life the way her heroines did, feeling loved and fulfilled.
The five stars are for the glimpse the journal gave me into Maud's life, which was really quite dark. No wonder her books and stories are so radiant. She must have found refuge for herself in them.
And she thought Anne of Green Gables wasn't a great book! When I read that I wanted to scream, "You succeeded enormously, Maud!"
Sorry.. I just got very emotionally involved in her journal. *SPOILER* when she wrote that Herman Leard was dead I closed the book in real dismay.
I will definitely read the other four volumes of LMM's journals. It might take a while-they're expensive.
dnf
January 2, 2025DNFing around the 25% mark as I have to return this to the library and can't renew it. I'll be honest, some of the entries were funny and interesting but there was quite a bit of the mundane and I'm not overly eager to read this in its entirety.
January 20, 2020
The first of five volumes of Canadian author Lucy Maud Montgomery's journals to be edited by Mary Rubio and Elizabeth Waterston - each published volume contains the contents of two of Montgomery's hand-written diaries - this book begins in 1889, when its creator was fourteen years old, and concludes in 1910, shortly before her marriage to the Rev. Ewan Macdonald. Here the reader can learn about Montgomery's childhood in Cavendish, on Prince Edward Island - the apparent inspiration for 'Avonlea,' in the
Anne of Green Gables
series - where she was raised by her stern maternal grandparents; her brief and rather unsuccessful experience, as a teenager, living with her father and his second wife in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan; and her return east to PEI, where she pursued her education - a year at Prince of Wales College in Charlottetown, and another at Dalhousie University, in Halifax - and taught school, as family circumstances permitted. The volume wraps up with the difficult years that Montgomery spent as a companion to her widowed grandmother Macneil.
Readers familiar with Montgomery's many works of fiction will find much here of interest, not just because of the insight offered into the life and thinking of the author, but because the style of writing, and many of the true-life incidents reported, can also be seen in her novels and short stories. There were moments in which I was strongly reminded of particular scenes or ideas, first met in Montgomery's fiction. The notion of a veil that hangs between us, and a secret world of beauty, that the author discusses at one point in her journal, was a clear influence on her Emily of New Moon books; while her imaginary childhood companions, living in the bureau glass, can also be found in Anne of Green Gables . More than this, though, the entire feeling of a small enclosed world, in which everyone knows everybody else, is very much present in Montgomery's journals, and is faithfully (and beautifully!) reproduced in her fiction.
First begun as part of a group read in February 2010, for the L.M. Montgomery Book Club that I moderate on another site, this book did not greatly appeal to me at first - and this despite my long-time admiration for the author! In fact, I had abandoned it around one quarter of the way through. Then, a few weeks ago, I happened to pick it up again, started over at the beginning, and found myself immensely engaged! I'm not sure why it didn't appeal to me the first time around - perhaps just not the right time? In any case, I found it involving, both emotionally and intellectually. Montgomery's passionate attachment to Herman Leard - whom she deemed beneath her - was fascinating, and I came away unconvinced that she ever really understood him. She seems to have been such a loquacious person, one wonders whether she misinterpreted his relative silence as a lack of intelligence, and/or a less deeply emotional attachment to her, than she felt for him. Being conscious of her eventual suicide, the passages in which she laments her life, and her emotional state, were very difficult to read indeed, and gave some portions of the journal a truly tragic feeling.
All in all, a fascinating read - and one I would recommend to any L.M. Montgomery fan!
Readers familiar with Montgomery's many works of fiction will find much here of interest, not just because of the insight offered into the life and thinking of the author, but because the style of writing, and many of the true-life incidents reported, can also be seen in her novels and short stories. There were moments in which I was strongly reminded of particular scenes or ideas, first met in Montgomery's fiction. The notion of a veil that hangs between us, and a secret world of beauty, that the author discusses at one point in her journal, was a clear influence on her Emily of New Moon books; while her imaginary childhood companions, living in the bureau glass, can also be found in Anne of Green Gables . More than this, though, the entire feeling of a small enclosed world, in which everyone knows everybody else, is very much present in Montgomery's journals, and is faithfully (and beautifully!) reproduced in her fiction.
First begun as part of a group read in February 2010, for the L.M. Montgomery Book Club that I moderate on another site, this book did not greatly appeal to me at first - and this despite my long-time admiration for the author! In fact, I had abandoned it around one quarter of the way through. Then, a few weeks ago, I happened to pick it up again, started over at the beginning, and found myself immensely engaged! I'm not sure why it didn't appeal to me the first time around - perhaps just not the right time? In any case, I found it involving, both emotionally and intellectually. Montgomery's passionate attachment to Herman Leard - whom she deemed beneath her - was fascinating, and I came away unconvinced that she ever really understood him. She seems to have been such a loquacious person, one wonders whether she misinterpreted his relative silence as a lack of intelligence, and/or a less deeply emotional attachment to her, than she felt for him. Being conscious of her eventual suicide, the passages in which she laments her life, and her emotional state, were very difficult to read indeed, and gave some portions of the journal a truly tragic feeling.
All in all, a fascinating read - and one I would recommend to any L.M. Montgomery fan!
April 25, 2021
I think we all have a idealized opinion of our favourite authors, and in some ways that makes me wish I didn't read this journal as it didn't quite match my hopeful expectation of her :P Now, I enjoyed reading it in many ways. It was amazing to me to see how she went through such difficult days and around the same time wrote Anne of Green Gables. The main area that saddened me was seeing how she didn't really have a strong grasp of spiritual truths. She was religious and she went to church and attended revivals and socials. But I never saw any true reflection of her belief in God based off of the Bible. While I understand difficult days and often write my own worries and fears in my own journal, it saddened me not to read of her hope she could find in God.
I loved the stories she had to share and her friendship with Willie P. about broke my heart. She definitely learned a lot through her young adult years and gained character and perseverance through her depressive days. I'm quite shocked by the amount of young men that sought her hand in marriage and it's no wonder she felt so confused at times. Those guys didn't give up.
Overall, I found the journal intriguing, sad, and almost too hard to read toward the end. I'd much prefer to read her books :P
I loved the stories she had to share and her friendship with Willie P. about broke my heart. She definitely learned a lot through her young adult years and gained character and perseverance through her depressive days. I'm quite shocked by the amount of young men that sought her hand in marriage and it's no wonder she felt so confused at times. Those guys didn't give up.
Overall, I found the journal intriguing, sad, and almost too hard to read toward the end. I'd much prefer to read her books :P
December 11, 2025
This was very enjoyable and funny,though I have not read it cover to cover yet. Maybe in ten years I will! I lost my place and knew I wouldn’t find it again all that quickly so I thought it best to put on my read shelf. This is a good book to open up and read randomly, though!
January 18, 2010
This book disturbed me. Not for the reasons you might think, though. Maud's life ended horribly. It was disturbing because it was, in many ways, like reliving so much of my own life. Not that our lives are always identical - Maud had the kind of family drama that I'll never have, thank goodness. But the way that she wrote and felt about things was a bit eerily similar to my own life. This is one of those books that helped me learn about myself - it was just strange because instead of being fiction, it was through the life of another person.
This book isn't for everyone, but if you're interested in the life of an incredible writer, this is the volume to try. This particular edition of her journals focuses more on her early years as a writer struggling for success. The later volumes are fraught with depression as she struggled with her husband's health. This volume is more positive, tells a more cohesive story, and is written in a way that is very honest and fun.
This book isn't for everyone, but if you're interested in the life of an incredible writer, this is the volume to try. This particular edition of her journals focuses more on her early years as a writer struggling for success. The later volumes are fraught with depression as she struggled with her husband's health. This volume is more positive, tells a more cohesive story, and is written in a way that is very honest and fun.
July 26, 2021
I've read all five journal volumes several times but this one remains my favourite. One could get a good impression of what LMM was like, just from reading this one.
LMM is one of my favourite authors, and I find it fascinating to read her journal and see what she was actually like in real life. Unfortunately she had a very hard and depressing life - not at all like the happy characters you meet in her books.
Despite her hardships, LMM had a very interesting life, and apart from letting me get to know her as a person, the journals are also a good way to learn what the life was like for a girl/woman on PEI around the turn of the last century.
LMM is one of my favourite authors, and I find it fascinating to read her journal and see what she was actually like in real life. Unfortunately she had a very hard and depressing life - not at all like the happy characters you meet in her books.
Despite her hardships, LMM had a very interesting life, and apart from letting me get to know her as a person, the journals are also a good way to learn what the life was like for a girl/woman on PEI around the turn of the last century.
November 18, 2010
I had to read this book just a few entries at a time or else I think I would have been bawling my eyes. Having known that Lucy Maud Montgomery committed suicide it felt like I could really see her spiralling into a depression after broken hearts, broken engagements and broken friendships. So many people she loved died; I can't believe how tough it must have been.
Her writing style in her novels is really reflected in her journals, and although there are often huge gaps, spanning months between entries, they are all so detailed that it feels like you know every little bit of her life.
I also noticed whilst reading that several paragraphs are actually used in her book, either directly copied or the ideas in them.
Another point of it that I really liked was reading her opinions on her books. Even whilst she was desperately upset she was determined to keep her books happy. She seemed to just be 'hammering out' Kilmeny Of The Orchard and also her reaction to being told to write sequels so quickly was interesting. :)
A great book.
Her writing style in her novels is really reflected in her journals, and although there are often huge gaps, spanning months between entries, they are all so detailed that it feels like you know every little bit of her life.
I also noticed whilst reading that several paragraphs are actually used in her book, either directly copied or the ideas in them.
Another point of it that I really liked was reading her opinions on her books. Even whilst she was desperately upset she was determined to keep her books happy. She seemed to just be 'hammering out' Kilmeny Of The Orchard and also her reaction to being told to write sequels so quickly was interesting. :)
A great book.
November 25, 2011
I found this fascinating but quite... upsetting. I felt SO sorry for poor Maud. She was so exuberant and lively and passionate as a teenager and a young woman but it all just seemed to fall in a hole for her after the whole Ed Simpson/Herman Leard incident. I think she could've led such a happy and fulfilling life if she hadn't been raised in such a stiff, restrictive society. But then if that was the case, maybe she wouldn't have turned to her writing as an escape so much, and produced so many lovely books.
It's a totally absorbing read, though, even if it isn't very happy. She had such an active, enquiring mind and I enjoyed her opinions of various books and thoughts on items of philosophy and theology and social culture. The way she expresses herself is so vivid and interesting and real.
To sum up: I love her, so it's kind of painful to read about her suffering so much from depression, loneliness, unrequited love and crushing responsibility.
It's a totally absorbing read, though, even if it isn't very happy. She had such an active, enquiring mind and I enjoyed her opinions of various books and thoughts on items of philosophy and theology and social culture. The way she expresses herself is so vivid and interesting and real.
To sum up: I love her, so it's kind of painful to read about her suffering so much from depression, loneliness, unrequited love and crushing responsibility.
February 25, 2013
I love reading biographies, but this was my first journal read. It was really interesting getting into the author's head. So many of LM's experiences ended up in her numerous books. I was continuously finding items that reminded me of one of her stories. It was especially interesting to read about how she blocked out and prepared the writing of her books. During the time she wrote this diary, she wrote and published Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea and also Kilmeny of the Orchard. She was also working on The Story Girl. An exciting surprise was reading about the grounding and final days of the Marco Polo. Can't wait to read the next volume!
August 3, 2023
روزی که این کتاب به دستم رسید رو یادمه. در واقع شب بود، داشتم شام میخوردم که پستچی آوردش. سال کنکور بود و من فقط به سر و روش دست کشیدم و کم مونده بود گریهم بگیره از زور اینکه نمیتونستم همون لحظه بشینم و بخونمش.
حالا بعد از یک سال، بالاخره خوندمش.
این بیست روز با ماد زندگی کردم و حالا بهش حس نزدیکی بیشتری دارم.
چهقدر زندگیش پرماجرا بوده، چهقدر اتفاق! و چهقدر آدم، اکثرشون رو هی فراموش میکردم. هی اسمهای جدیدی میدیدم که نمیدونستم دقیقا کیان و تو داستان چه کارهان.
من از این وقتی که باهم گذروندیم خیلی لذت بردم خانم مونتگومری.
حالا بعد از یک سال، بالاخره خوندمش.
این بیست روز با ماد زندگی کردم و حالا بهش حس نزدیکی بیشتری دارم.
چهقدر زندگیش پرماجرا بوده، چهقدر اتفاق! و چهقدر آدم، اکثرشون رو هی فراموش میکردم. هی اسمهای جدیدی میدیدم که نمیدونستم دقیقا کیان و تو داستان چه کارهان.
من از این وقتی که باهم گذروندیم خیلی لذت بردم خانم مونتگومری.
April 14, 2015
The first volume I couldn't put down. The second volume I pushed through. The third I had to force myself to finish, which I did only because I'd put the effort in so far... The first volume is absolutely fascinating, but the depression and repetition of the final one is almost unbearable. An amazing insight into the author, but hard going at the end.
March 1, 2020
Our book club is reading Anne of Green Gables and in preparation for the discussion, I thought I'd glance at The Selected Journals. I was immediately hooked. The memoirs of LMM are absolutely fascinating and certainly provides background for Anne of Green Gables. LMM often seems sad and depressed but it is only through writing that she is able overcome a negative state of mind. I guess with no one to speak with, she leaves her heartfelt sentiments to us, her readers.
Read
February 5, 2025Honestly, big fuck you to Uncle Leander (respectfully) (rip)…
October 12, 2009
I am thankful to the editors Mary Rubio and Elizabeth Waterston for publishing LMM's journals. My comments as to their editing are for another time. I felt honoured to gain a window seat to Maud's life and discover the challenges, struggles, joys, and fun that lead to the woman who wrote about Anne-girl. I enjoyed reading of how she grew as a writer.
Perhaps most importantly this past week, I found many of her words a comfort as they are words I've often thought but not known how to express as eloquently as she. The words no child really wishes to write: Wednesday Mar 6, 1901 "Life has never seemed the same to me since father died. Something is gone and in its place is a pain and loneliness and longing that is sometimes dulled but is always there... I have success in a growing measure and a keen appreciation of all the world and the times offer for delight and interest. But underneath it all is the haunting sense of emptiness."
Thank you LMM. Those words were the ones I most needed to read this past week.
In reading these journals I feel a stronger sense of the woman and the time and place who wrote of a little orphan girl. I'm very happy that a story which "was a labor of love. Nothing I have ever written gave me so much so much please to write" would bring such joy to readers over the years. (quote from Friday Aug 16, 1907).
I hope one day to read the other volumes.
Perhaps most importantly this past week, I found many of her words a comfort as they are words I've often thought but not known how to express as eloquently as she. The words no child really wishes to write: Wednesday Mar 6, 1901 "Life has never seemed the same to me since father died. Something is gone and in its place is a pain and loneliness and longing that is sometimes dulled but is always there... I have success in a growing measure and a keen appreciation of all the world and the times offer for delight and interest. But underneath it all is the haunting sense of emptiness."
Thank you LMM. Those words were the ones I most needed to read this past week.
In reading these journals I feel a stronger sense of the woman and the time and place who wrote of a little orphan girl. I'm very happy that a story which "was a labor of love. Nothing I have ever written gave me so much so much please to write" would bring such joy to readers over the years. (quote from Friday Aug 16, 1907).
I hope one day to read the other volumes.
June 6, 2013
My friend Stephanie loaned me this book after we had a great discussion about Emily of New Moon, and I wasn't quite sure how much I would get out of it. I mean, journals are usually pretty boring, you know? These are not at all, they're fascinating (well, if you're an LMM freak like me). She writes in her journals in such a conversational style, and her voice is so strong, they're like a bundle of LMM short stories, all in expository style (which I also love). It's interesting to see which bits of her books were taken from her life, fun to see her be catty about people, and then SCANDALOUS when you get to her brief love affair that involved SECRET MAKING OUT IN HER BEDROOM AT NIGHT. I'm only midway through this first volume, so I'm sure there's going to be a lot more that I get a kick out of.
Well. I finished it, and the last third of the book just made me so sad. She was so depressed and anxious and lonely, my heart broke for her. Even after ANNE came out to so much acclaim and huge sales, she was stuck living with her difficult grandmother in a cold (so so cold) and uncomfortable place. And this is even before she married the mentally ill minister! It's clear where the bits in her books about white nights and depression (without that name) come from, because she had them both in spades. Poor Maud.
Well. I finished it, and the last third of the book just made me so sad. She was so depressed and anxious and lonely, my heart broke for her. Even after ANNE came out to so much acclaim and huge sales, she was stuck living with her difficult grandmother in a cold (so so cold) and uncomfortable place. And this is even before she married the mentally ill minister! It's clear where the bits in her books about white nights and depression (without that name) come from, because she had them both in spades. Poor Maud.
August 25, 2011
These journals, written by LM Montgomery between the ages of 14 and 34, are a wonderful insight into the life of the author. Passionate, intelligent and vulnerable, LM Montgomery was the prototype for Anne of Green Gables - a real life Anne for whom there is not necessarily a happy ending. Many of her entries could come straight from the pages of her novels (including beautiful, exuberant descriptions of the nature she so loved); in other cases, it's easy to see where she has transmuted personal experiences (such as run-ins with would-be sweeathearts) into fictional drama.
The journals are also a treasure trove of information about Canadian society around the turn of the last century, full of details of fashions, dormitory boarding house rules, religious revival meetings and the life of a junior newspaper employee.
Montgomery holds nothing back: there are dissections of the way she has been treated by her relatives and a frank description of a relationship that was based purely on sexual attraction.
Toward the end, she shows clear signs of clinical depression, which makes me worry that the other four volumes will be upsetting to read. But after falling in love with her in these pages, I can't do other than push on with the next volume.
The journals are also a treasure trove of information about Canadian society around the turn of the last century, full of details of fashions, dormitory boarding house rules, religious revival meetings and the life of a junior newspaper employee.
Montgomery holds nothing back: there are dissections of the way she has been treated by her relatives and a frank description of a relationship that was based purely on sexual attraction.
Toward the end, she shows clear signs of clinical depression, which makes me worry that the other four volumes will be upsetting to read. But after falling in love with her in these pages, I can't do other than push on with the next volume.
April 11, 2018
L.M. Montgomery is my all time favorite author. I can always find something from my collection of her published fiction that suits my reading mood. I did not previously know that much about her life so this has been quite an education for me. Her journals read very much like her fictional work and it was sometimes hard to remember that this was a real person experiencing real life. It is fascinating to see how many incidents from her own life she put into her fiction. Each of her characters expresses some or many aspects of her own self. Some of her depressive episodes and relationship woes were hard to read, but added to my respect for her writing. I am looking forward to the next volume.
Popsugar 2018: a book you borrowed or that was given to you as a gift
Popsugar 2018: a book you borrowed or that was given to you as a gift
November 12, 2017
L. M. Montgomery was an avid journalist. There are five of these “journal“ books. This is the first one and it covers the years 1889 through 1910. If you enjoyed Anne of Green Gables or Emily of New Moon, you will probably like her journals as well. I’ve never read a journal that read so much like a novel. These books are a little hard to find. I had to buy mine used on Amazon. But, believe me, it was totally worth the $10 I had to spend.
September 7, 2011
What an amazing read. So neat to read what life was like when it was such a strange world to what we live with today.
July 21, 2015
Fascinating look into her life and hearing from her own words. You can really hear Anne Shirley in a good bit of the entries. It's easy to see how she could write a series about Anne.
January 6, 2019
Sometimes the only explanation I've been able to give my daughter about someone's behavior or life choices is "People are complicated."
L.M. Montgomery certainly bears this out.
Left motherless before she was two, essentially abandoned by her father (who moved out west and remarried, but did remain in close and loving contact with his daughter), and raised by her dour and controlling maternal grandparents, Maud (she never used Lucy) was a sensitive and imaginative child who lived a rich inner life and nursed intellectual and creative ambitions. She kept most of her musings and dreams to herself, fearing others' ridicule, unburdening her soul only to a succession of girls and women whom she found "kindred spirits". She overcame the impediments of her family obligations to get a college education and was able to live independently as a schoolteacher for a few years before returning to her hometown to care for her widowed and increasingly dependent grandmother. She suffered at least one grand heartbreak and the shame of promising herself in marriage to a man she quickly came to realize was not for her. She bore the emotional and physical depredations of what looks an awful lot like anxiety and/or depression -- I'm not going to armchair-diagnose anyone, but her journal entries are utterly heartrending in their descriptions of sleepless nights, existential dread, and recurrences of a crushing hopelessness and sadness.
Through all of this, Maud wrote. She wrote poems and articles and stories that were placed in increasingly influential and widely read journals and magazines. She wrote a society column in a Halifax newspaper during her brief tenure as a proofreader there. She wrote journal entries that she called her only outlet for the despair and bitterness she often felt. And she maintained a notebook of story ideas, one of which, a phrase about an elderly couple who asked to take in an orphan boy but were sent a girl instead, grew into the eternally beloved "Anne of Green Gables".
I admit that the Anne books were some of my definitive childhood texts. I read them over and over and I felt I had come to know her and her friends as well as you can know people you can't meet in the flesh. Anne was always thoughtful, compassionate, and kind, even as she could be rash, clumsy, and overly fanciful. And THAT is why I have to keep remembering that people are complicated, because L.M. Montgomery was (at least inwardly) far from exhibiting those qualities.
I (naively, yes, I know) had always figured L.M. to be like the character she created. So it was a little shocking to find that she was often snobbish, biased, and provincial. A product of her time and place, okay, but she was terribly fond of talking about how inferior others were to her -- I lost track of how many times she dismissed some potential suitor as uneducated, unrefined, or ill-bred, and thus unworthy of the gift of Maud. She didn't confine comments of this nature to her boyfriends; she also expressed disdain for former female friends, schoolteachers she studied under, boardinghouse owners, and the French (by which she meant Canadians of French descent living on Prince Edward Island). We're all human, and if we can't confide in our journals, where can we express ourselves freely? I did expect to find some hard truths about L.M., but the...contempt?...eventually started to wear on me. I also had trouble getting through the part where she was agonizing over having accepted the proposal of a man who she soon decided was the wrong one. She cried, she wrung her hands, she walked the floor, she couldn't sleep...and I couldn't figure out if it was because she was now stuck in a trap of her own making, or if she was terrified of breaking it off with this guy because it would either half-kill him or people would talk (she had a horror of being a topic of conversation). Whichever, it took her far too long to do something about it if she didn't want to keep feeling like that. Was she paralyzed by her anxiety? Was she immobilized by fear of public censure? I have no way of knowing for sure.
At any rate, I can only surmise that Montgomery wrote Anne as an ideal of optimism and hope not dashed, of virtues aspired to but not attained -- of a spirit strained but not broken by the carelessness and callous handling of those meant to nurture it.
This volume of the journals ends on a nostalgic and somber note, with Montgomery having just completed a retrospective of her life to that point (with an eye to supplying publishers and writers with biographical material). She recalls past happiness and wonders if she will ever again feel such lightness of being, and expresses little hope for her future. It is all too easy to foresee the tragic end of her life, given the frequent bouts of dread and despair she documents in her journal, and it is sad to think that, had she lived in a time when the silence around mental illness was less impenetrable, she might have found help and been able to live a happier, or at least less tormented, life.
L.M. Montgomery certainly bears this out.
Left motherless before she was two, essentially abandoned by her father (who moved out west and remarried, but did remain in close and loving contact with his daughter), and raised by her dour and controlling maternal grandparents, Maud (she never used Lucy) was a sensitive and imaginative child who lived a rich inner life and nursed intellectual and creative ambitions. She kept most of her musings and dreams to herself, fearing others' ridicule, unburdening her soul only to a succession of girls and women whom she found "kindred spirits". She overcame the impediments of her family obligations to get a college education and was able to live independently as a schoolteacher for a few years before returning to her hometown to care for her widowed and increasingly dependent grandmother. She suffered at least one grand heartbreak and the shame of promising herself in marriage to a man she quickly came to realize was not for her. She bore the emotional and physical depredations of what looks an awful lot like anxiety and/or depression -- I'm not going to armchair-diagnose anyone, but her journal entries are utterly heartrending in their descriptions of sleepless nights, existential dread, and recurrences of a crushing hopelessness and sadness.
Through all of this, Maud wrote. She wrote poems and articles and stories that were placed in increasingly influential and widely read journals and magazines. She wrote a society column in a Halifax newspaper during her brief tenure as a proofreader there. She wrote journal entries that she called her only outlet for the despair and bitterness she often felt. And she maintained a notebook of story ideas, one of which, a phrase about an elderly couple who asked to take in an orphan boy but were sent a girl instead, grew into the eternally beloved "Anne of Green Gables".
I admit that the Anne books were some of my definitive childhood texts. I read them over and over and I felt I had come to know her and her friends as well as you can know people you can't meet in the flesh. Anne was always thoughtful, compassionate, and kind, even as she could be rash, clumsy, and overly fanciful. And THAT is why I have to keep remembering that people are complicated, because L.M. Montgomery was (at least inwardly) far from exhibiting those qualities.
I (naively, yes, I know) had always figured L.M. to be like the character she created. So it was a little shocking to find that she was often snobbish, biased, and provincial. A product of her time and place, okay, but she was terribly fond of talking about how inferior others were to her -- I lost track of how many times she dismissed some potential suitor as uneducated, unrefined, or ill-bred, and thus unworthy of the gift of Maud. She didn't confine comments of this nature to her boyfriends; she also expressed disdain for former female friends, schoolteachers she studied under, boardinghouse owners, and the French (by which she meant Canadians of French descent living on Prince Edward Island). We're all human, and if we can't confide in our journals, where can we express ourselves freely? I did expect to find some hard truths about L.M., but the...contempt?...eventually started to wear on me. I also had trouble getting through the part where she was agonizing over having accepted the proposal of a man who she soon decided was the wrong one. She cried, she wrung her hands, she walked the floor, she couldn't sleep...and I couldn't figure out if it was because she was now stuck in a trap of her own making, or if she was terrified of breaking it off with this guy because it would either half-kill him or people would talk (she had a horror of being a topic of conversation). Whichever, it took her far too long to do something about it if she didn't want to keep feeling like that. Was she paralyzed by her anxiety? Was she immobilized by fear of public censure? I have no way of knowing for sure.
At any rate, I can only surmise that Montgomery wrote Anne as an ideal of optimism and hope not dashed, of virtues aspired to but not attained -- of a spirit strained but not broken by the carelessness and callous handling of those meant to nurture it.
This volume of the journals ends on a nostalgic and somber note, with Montgomery having just completed a retrospective of her life to that point (with an eye to supplying publishers and writers with biographical material). She recalls past happiness and wonders if she will ever again feel such lightness of being, and expresses little hope for her future. It is all too easy to foresee the tragic end of her life, given the frequent bouts of dread and despair she documents in her journal, and it is sad to think that, had she lived in a time when the silence around mental illness was less impenetrable, she might have found help and been able to live a happier, or at least less tormented, life.
September 15, 2020
I have really enjoyed reading this collection of journal entries kept by L.M. Montgomery. They are wonderfully delightful at times and terribly sad at other times. I am looking forward to reading the second collection.
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