The Sweetness of Tears by Nafisa Haji is, in many ways, a book about eliminating lines: the lines between good and evil, the lines between cultures - Muslim&Christian, Pakistani&American, Shia&Sunni -, the lines between faith and doubt, between joy and sorrow, between right and wrong. Through the lives of two different families, one Christian and one Muslim, we are led into a world of greys, a world where there is no black and white, where lines become blurry and the question of what it means to be human and to have faith is one that takes the main characters on a journey through the mixture of cultures, family values, the learning of languages, of war and politics and religion.
The novel is told through multiple points of view, all in the first person. Haji was successful in giving each character a different voice, never growing confused with who was narrating at any point in the story. Every character is relatable and likable, with their own story to tell and lessons to learn. The story, while dealing with very religious characters, never becomes preachy. On the contrary, it is a novel that encourages you to be open minded, to question laws and beliefs, to always look at the other point of view, to step onto the other person's shoes. Just like the well-known saying "there is always two sides to every story", The Sweetness of Tears captures all of the sides objectively. It is a book that deals with the war on Iraq without taking away the humanity of those who fought nor those who they were fighting against.
What I loved most about the novel is how it reminds us to be human. Many times we forget that we are all the same, no matter what culture or language or religion, we are the same species, living in the same world, and our lives our worth exactly the same. We are not so different as some would have us believe. Today, belief and religion can often be mistaken and lived with a certain fanatism that makes you think your truth is the only truth there is. If you hold on to such certainty it inevitably comes with the notion that others are wrong. As one character humbly puts it faith isn't about having all the answers:
"Faith is revelation. And in order to receive revelation you have to be open. Belief is about closing yourself off- a lie you tell yourself to make the world fit in with how you've decided it should be. Real faith is an action - a verb. It's truth unfolding. You have to let yourself be vulnerable to let that happen. You can't run away from it. You can't drown it out, covering your ears while you shout out declarations of belief. That's not faith. That's cowardice - a fear of truth, which is only scary when you're fighting to keep yourself from knowing it"
I love this idea that faith can't be something that we take and model to fit into what we would want the truth to be, what would be convenient for us to believe in, what would apease our conscience and validate the things we do when we forget the humanity of others. When we think that we hold such truths we are taking away the humanity of others, which is what is done in war. In order to fight a war we have to believe that the others are evil, that we are fighting for the good side to eliminate the bad. However, this is not the case. In war we kill. We kill humans who are just as important as we are.
"I didn't know what I knew now - that the line between good and bad would get so blurry. That other line - the one between us and them getting more distinct. It had to be, for us to be able to do what had to be done."
Hate, envy, anger and resentment are things that will always be with us for the mere reason that we are an animal species, and those things are in our nature. However, we are also human, and as human we have the power to fight against it. We have the power to shed tears, to regret the pain we cause and to try to make it right.
"Do you know, Deena, that there is an old Arab Bedouin saying: 'I, against my brothers. I and my brothers against my cousins. I and my brothers and my cousins against the world.' That is jungle law. It is the way of the world when the world is thrown into chaos. It is our job to avert that chaos, to fight against it, to resist the urge to become savage. Because the problem with such law is that if you follow it, you are always fighting against someone... The only way to rise above is to rise above. The only way to respond to wrong is with right. The only way to deal with injustice is to be just"
In the end, this novel is about eliminating the lines that prevent us from seeing the humanity in others, from understanding each and everyone of us as part of the same species, as human beings with the ability to destroy and hate, but with the possibility of creating even more love, living in peace, accepting and respecting, being happy. We have the ability to cry for all the pain we've caused and turn it around, and that is where the sweetness of tears resides.
"A wise woman that I know once said that the tears we cry for others are tears of sweetness - to be appreciated as a sign of God's love, and sorrow, for all of the injustice that we lowly creatures, human beings who have not yet learned to be human, all of us, inflict on one another. It is a good thing, when we cry those sweet tears, she said. It is a good thing"