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Dating Up: Dump the Schlump and Find a Quality Man

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We've all heard the stereotypes about women who marry into money? They're gold diggers, they don't care about love. The fact is, there are plenty of fabulous men out there who happen to be wealthy, and someone's going to marry them. If you're a smart, sophisticated, independent woman looking for love, why shouldn't it be you?

J. Courtney Sullivan has created a guide for women everywhere who have worked hard to get where they are in their lives and their careers and deserve to be challenged, excited, and supported Financially and otherwise by the men in their lives. It's not anti-feminist, it's knowing what you need from a partner and demanding the entire package.With tips on everything from top 10 products for under $10," 8 types of rich men to avoid," and 9 essential clothing items that no girl should be without," Dating Up will help women attract the right kind of man. It also gives advice on where to go to meet men and how to transition from the first few dates to having sex to meeting his mother. Stocked full of top ten lists; enlightening quotes from film, literature, and pop culture; and sidebars with extra Quick Tips, this manual will be a must-have for all women ready to find Mr. Right.

273 pages, Paperback

First published February 12, 2007

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208 people want to read

About the author

J. Courtney Sullivan

16 books3,149 followers
J. Courtney Sullivan is the New York Times bestselling author of the novels Commencement, Maine, The Engagements, and Saints For All Occasions. Maine was named a Best Book of the Year by Time magazine, and a Washington Post Notable Book for 2011. The Engagements was one of People Magazine’s Top Ten Books of 2013 and an Irish Times Best Book of the Year. It is soon to be a major motion picture produced by Reese Witherspoon and distributed by Fox 2000, and it will be translated into 17 languages. Saints For All Occasions, was named one of the ten best books of the year by the Washington Post, a New York Times Critic’s Pick for 2017, and a New England Book Award nominee. Her fifth novel, Friends and Strangers, will be published in June 2020. Courtney’s writing has also appeared in The New York Times Book Review, The Chicago Tribune, New York magazine, Elle, Glamour, Allure, Real Simple, and O: The Oprah Magazine, among many others. She is a co-editor, with Courtney Martin, of the essay anthology Click: When We Knew We Were Feminists. In 2017, she wrote the forewords to new editions of two of her favorite children’s books: Anne of Green Gables and Little Women. A Massachusetts native, Courtney now lives in Brooklyn, New York with her husband and two children.

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5 stars
12 (24%)
4 stars
7 (14%)
3 stars
12 (24%)
2 stars
11 (22%)
1 star
7 (14%)
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
1 review
July 9, 2010
Gold digger? I don't think so. Accepting a free drink because a man is in love with your eyes is not a gold digger. Also, let's not be delusional. Money does matter. And money is not just a financial means, it's an attitude. But should thereof keep you from a man that you love? No! If you already have your man, have a wonderful life together. I wish you all the best.

But let's be frank, we all want to be financially stable. Especially in an economy like this. The book gives you excellent tips on how to do things you have always dreamed of but thought "I can't do that, it's too expensive". The book is encouraging you to shoot for the stars.

"Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right"

It seems to be that there is a recurring trend of women dating below what they want and sucking it up. We see it time and time again. Why is she with him? Who knows.

Sometimes topics need to be a little in your face. I was strolling through my nearest book store two days ago when I stumbled upon this book. I was using this summer to reinvent myself. I was very unhappy with myself, the way I viewed my image, my life, everything. I was a down dater. I had a knack for attracting all of the starving artists who had no money [and were bitter and complained about it and were convinced the world was against them:] and had hideous relationships with their family. I wanted a man more my level [upper middle class, not bitter, intelligent, loves his family:] but had no idea where to start. She is just giving you tips on how to be a self loving, independent, sophisticated woman who can look back on your life and say "Wow, I really had some good times".

I am just in love with the way Miss Sullivan phrases her words. Empowering, witty and honest to the point of being blunt [which is very, very refreshing:]

Not every guy is the same and I am fully aware of that. Not all men are going to like sports or read copious amounts of classic literature. She is by NO MEANS telling you to fake interest in your potential partner's activities. She even says that in some of her interviews!!!! It is always important to take an honest interest in your lover's passions of life. Whether it be Shakespeare or going down to the river and fishing, if you want to be one of his passions, learn a thing or two about his. It's just like how you might have a huge affinity for watching movies but he yawns at the mention, that would disappoint you and may be brought up in a later argument. Trust me, it happens.

She is not telling you to be a domestic goddess [Just making a nice dessert for your sweetie shows that you care:]. She's not telling you to fake interest in sports [actually know a thing or two so when your guy tells you about the game that made his day, you'll understand something:] or telling you to pretend to know all of the classics [they are actually great books that you should know at least four on the list:].

I have only read half of this work so I cannot say that I have read through the part about the stamp earning the diamond from his grandmother but I'm certain she means, just pay attention to detail. Dating and people in general are never an exact science. Something that offends one may make the other simply adore you.

Take this from a modern woman. This book is clearly written for women that live in the metropolitan areas of the world who wish to marry an equal in all the right areas. To come across such a man, do you have to follow this book word for word and commit it to memory? Absolutely not. However, this book does contain more than one true story on why this book will push you in the right direction and a plethora of good pieces of advice on how to start you journey to becoming a self loving, confident, cultured and independent woman.

I recommend this book whole-heartedly.
Profile Image for Susanna.
159 reviews4 followers
June 14, 2010
This book is so shallow that I wonder how could it even get published in the first place. The definition of dating up in this book is dating rich men and getting things for free. For a lack of better term, this is the equivalent of spending time with men in exchange for gifts and monetary gains.

I personally do not condone Sullivan's advices in feigning interest in sports, faking knowledge in literature that one's not familiar with, or pretending to be a domestic goddess in cooking to lure men into relationship. I was stunned when she mentioned that the stamp on the thank-you note will earn you his grandmother's diamond in the future. These kinds of advices are preposterous and the so-called tactics are fallible and flawed. I sincerely hope Sullivan was simply joking in her writing.

I do not recommend this book.

Profile Image for U..
6 reviews
February 18, 2014
Funny and insightful!!! A very quick read!
1 review
December 6, 2009
what was clearly meant to be a tongue and cheek guide to the dating world quickly became a whirlwind of controversy over women who are looking to marry a rich man. Did some really take the advice seriously? Courtney Sullivan's writing gave us an insight to what many successful young women are feeling about their options in today's (and yesterday's) dating world. Could Courtney Sullivan's "Dating Up" be this generations answer to the divorce rate issue?
Profile Image for Sasha.
1,400 reviews
June 15, 2009
At first, I thought this was a book to teach a woman how to marry a rich man but it turned out to be fairly decent. There were a couple great pointers on how to handle the beginning obstacles of a relationship. The main point of the book is not to settle.
Profile Image for K Dog.
63 reviews5 followers
June 24, 2007
not good, who is this woman, she is a gold digger
3 reviews
Read
July 25, 2008
good book...if you are all about snagging a rich man...
Profile Image for Susan.
252 reviews8 followers
March 10, 2011
This was a gift from my BFF, pretty humorous!
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews

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