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Restricted
"I thought that once I had lost the weight, I would feel better about myself and maybe I would be something special. Well, I have lost weight, I do not feel better about myself, and I am still nothing special."
"Restricted" takes readers into the mind of a nineteen year old girl named Erin. Brought on by the obsession over weight and calories, and fueled by low self-esteem, she falls victim to an eating disorder. The world she enters is a world where thoughts are overrun by fears, lies are no longer fiction, and reality is miles away. The healthy nineteen year old that used to be is replaced by a weaker girl unable to keep up with her peers. Erin's distorted thinking and actions eventually take a toll on her body and mind. In order to get better, change is the only option.
The journey told starts during the height of the sickness and follows Erin through the many challenges and lessons of treatment. In order to start her process in recovery, she must face her greatest herself.
Based on the author's own experiences, Erin's story is not unique. There are millions around the world who are living her story, still struggling to find their way.
"Restricted" takes readers into the mind of a nineteen year old girl named Erin. Brought on by the obsession over weight and calories, and fueled by low self-esteem, she falls victim to an eating disorder. The world she enters is a world where thoughts are overrun by fears, lies are no longer fiction, and reality is miles away. The healthy nineteen year old that used to be is replaced by a weaker girl unable to keep up with her peers. Erin's distorted thinking and actions eventually take a toll on her body and mind. In order to get better, change is the only option.
The journey told starts during the height of the sickness and follows Erin through the many challenges and lessons of treatment. In order to start her process in recovery, she must face her greatest herself.
Based on the author's own experiences, Erin's story is not unique. There are millions around the world who are living her story, still struggling to find their way.
220 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 12, 2010
24 people are currently reading
873 people want to read
About the author
Jennifer Kinsel
3 books7 followersJennifer is a twentysomething artist/designer/creative/dreamer. "Restricted: A novel of half-truths" is Jen's first book, a challenge she took upon herself for National Novel Writing Month; although, writing a book had always been on her long list of things to do before she dies. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, she attended Stevenson University and earned a bachelor's degree in Visual Communication Design. Since college, her life has taken a different direction than most her age, due to her battle with an eating disorder. Although overcoming an eating disorder is a very difficult process, Jen is hopeful that the obstacle was put there for a reason. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, she is an INFJ, one of the rarest personality types. On a less serious note, she stays awake much too late for her own good, enjoys thrill rides and the rush of adrenaline, and watches The Golden Girls every morning while eating breakfast.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
November 15, 2011
There were plenty of parts in the story that I could relate to, but overall what was being said here has already been said numerous times before. Also, this book was lacking in emotion. The narrator is almost robotic in tone, and I don't mean that in an "it added to the emotional turmoil she was feeling inside" kind of way, but rather in a "See Spot, see Spot run," kind of way. So yeah, 50/50. There were good points and observations, but it was severely lacking in story telling quality (as this was a work of fiction), which is most likely why it took me so long to finally bite the bullet and finish this thing.
May 17, 2019
the writing lacked emotion but I still liked it
February 9, 2019
It feels like this book is working really hard to do all the right things—to address issues that come up in eating-disorder treatment, especially ones that don't always arise in books, while also avoiding being triggering. This book is not a glamorized portrait of eating disorders; Kinsel says, it is a real glimpse into the pain and suffering behind so many smiles trying to hide it all. It's a look at the difficult and trying process of recovery (loc. 75). But unfortunately the narration falls pretty flat. There's not a ton of scene, and it always feels as though the reader is a step (or sometimes an entire staircase) removed from Erin's emotions.
Some important things come up (e.g., the difficulty of finding affordable, accessible treatment), but they often don't get quite as much page space as they could use. Take finances: Erin is shocked to get the first bill for treatment ($1,000 for three days in the program. 12 hours total. 9 hours of therapy and 3 hours for dinner. I could not believe the outrageous price that had been placed on a treatment plan to help save lives (loc. 1131)), but after a few people explain to her that her health is the important thing and that she's more important to her parents (who are paying) than money, she accepts it and it pretty much doesn't come up again. She mentions later that It took a few months until I was stable enough to be discharged from the program (loc. 1522), which means somewhere in the vicinity of $24,000. This is far from unheard of for treatment programs (and it's true that your health is more important than money!), but the way the question of finances is brought up and then dropped leaves me wanting. Sort of related, Erin doesn't have an appointment with a dietician (who works through the treatment centre Erin's been at) until several weeks after Erin's discharge, and the delay is chalked up to the dietician's wait list. I guess it's possible that this would happen, but it's a little odd to me that the program would accept Erin at all if they didn't have the staff to see her—seeing a dietician should have been an ongoing thing throughout treatment, not something tacked on a ways after the fact. (Many treatment facilities have long wait lists, and some won't accept people as outpatients unless they agree to work with the facility's therapists and dieticians.)
Or: Communication with my parents was not the best and my mom often told me that talking to me was like walking on eggshells. I did not know how to express myself with words. She never knew how I would react to one of her questions, and so there were many times when she just avoided it altogether (loc. 1372). This rings very true (my mother said much the same thing), but it doesn't show me what things, for Erin, triggered these moments, or what those conversations looked like for her, or how her relationship with her parents did or didn't change.
So...lots of points for effort, cos it's way too rare that books try to tackle many of the things that Restricted does, but unfortunately too many things fall by the wayside in the process.
Some important things come up (e.g., the difficulty of finding affordable, accessible treatment), but they often don't get quite as much page space as they could use. Take finances: Erin is shocked to get the first bill for treatment ($1,000 for three days in the program. 12 hours total. 9 hours of therapy and 3 hours for dinner. I could not believe the outrageous price that had been placed on a treatment plan to help save lives (loc. 1131)), but after a few people explain to her that her health is the important thing and that she's more important to her parents (who are paying) than money, she accepts it and it pretty much doesn't come up again. She mentions later that It took a few months until I was stable enough to be discharged from the program (loc. 1522), which means somewhere in the vicinity of $24,000. This is far from unheard of for treatment programs (and it's true that your health is more important than money!), but the way the question of finances is brought up and then dropped leaves me wanting. Sort of related, Erin doesn't have an appointment with a dietician (who works through the treatment centre Erin's been at) until several weeks after Erin's discharge, and the delay is chalked up to the dietician's wait list. I guess it's possible that this would happen, but it's a little odd to me that the program would accept Erin at all if they didn't have the staff to see her—seeing a dietician should have been an ongoing thing throughout treatment, not something tacked on a ways after the fact. (Many treatment facilities have long wait lists, and some won't accept people as outpatients unless they agree to work with the facility's therapists and dieticians.)
Or: Communication with my parents was not the best and my mom often told me that talking to me was like walking on eggshells. I did not know how to express myself with words. She never knew how I would react to one of her questions, and so there were many times when she just avoided it altogether (loc. 1372). This rings very true (my mother said much the same thing), but it doesn't show me what things, for Erin, triggered these moments, or what those conversations looked like for her, or how her relationship with her parents did or didn't change.
So...lots of points for effort, cos it's way too rare that books try to tackle many of the things that Restricted does, but unfortunately too many things fall by the wayside in the process.
November 19, 2014
I took some time to think about this before I wrote a review and after contemplation, I have to say that while I'm not unhappy with this book, I do feel that it was not as good as I had hoped.
It's a lot of tell and not show and a few issues I thought would be bigger in the plot/character growth, were used twice. For the telling and not showing, a good indication of that is how much of the conversations are summed up and dialogue is not shown/heard, most of the characters don't speak for themselves.
I also felt I never got to know the character. At the end, Erin says she likes to draw, but there was only one other reference to that, where she doodles in a journal and says she picked that habit up during her ED. But until that journal came out and she doodled in it, there'd never been an indication of that interest before.
I wanted to take some time to think about these criticisms because it is a "novel of half-truths" and the author's experience plays heavily into the book. So should I judge it as a novel or as a memoir with names changed? Since it's a "novel of half-truths", I couldn't know what was true and what wasn't, so I kept my rating as if it were just a pure novel.
It's a lot of tell and not show and a few issues I thought would be bigger in the plot/character growth, were used twice. For the telling and not showing, a good indication of that is how much of the conversations are summed up and dialogue is not shown/heard, most of the characters don't speak for themselves.
I also felt I never got to know the character. At the end, Erin says she likes to draw, but there was only one other reference to that, where she doodles in a journal and says she picked that habit up during her ED. But until that journal came out and she doodled in it, there'd never been an indication of that interest before.
I wanted to take some time to think about these criticisms because it is a "novel of half-truths" and the author's experience plays heavily into the book. So should I judge it as a novel or as a memoir with names changed? Since it's a "novel of half-truths", I couldn't know what was true and what wasn't, so I kept my rating as if it were just a pure novel.
April 3, 2011
I received this book from the author herself and I am so glad that I did. I have many, many, many books and this has been one of the best I have read. Writing a book about a touchy subject is always hard. Jennifer Kinsel took her personal experience with anorexia and created a fiction book about it from her own point of view.
Erin, the main character is dealing with self esteem issues which lead her to control on of the few things she can and that is her weight. Erin goes through intensive Outpatient Therapy twice until she finally discovers her key to handling her disease and getting better.
5 stars!!!!
Thank you Jennifer!!
Erin, the main character is dealing with self esteem issues which lead her to control on of the few things she can and that is her weight. Erin goes through intensive Outpatient Therapy twice until she finally discovers her key to handling her disease and getting better.
5 stars!!!!
Thank you Jennifer!!
February 11, 2019
Talk about long-winded. This book reads more like a blog than a novel and completely lacked emotion. It’s hard for me to believe that this was based off of her own experiences because honestly it just sounded like she interviewed a bunch of eating disordered patients and threw everything together. I had to force myself to finish this book because it was so cliche and no one with an eating disorder is rational so early on. It just wasn’t believable.
February 8, 2021
I am not sure why I had this book on my "to-read" list - I apparently placed it there over a decade ago so the rationale behind why I was interested at the time is gone. It is a work of fiction heavily influenced by true events - the author herself admits to having had an eating disorder and the work is a fictionalized account of a young 19-year old woman who is going through treatment for the same. The author apparently wrote this novel in the National Writing Month event, completing it in a 30-day period. The writing itself is somewhat juvenile and emotionless and comes across more as a reporting of events, instead of a heartfelt memoir which is unfortunate. I did not connect at all with the author nor the material contained within though I do not doubt the sincerity and accuracy of that which she puts on paper. I suspect many individuals who have either suffered from an eating disorder or who perhaps work with people who do, will find this work insightful and helpful in assisting with either their own or other's recovery. I personally was not enlightened at all nor did I gain any insight into the disease but I still commend the author in the courage it took to take her experience and turn it into a literary work.
May 21, 2011
It took me longer than usual this book than any other, I had mixed feelings about it from the start but please do not let me put you off. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book once I got into it.
Vampires, Werewolves, Angels, Ghosts etc are normally what I read about so this was a big step for me something I am so glad I did. I usually shy away from books are based on near real events and read stuff that isn't. But I won this book and decided to give it a chance instead of judging it. Which I am so happy I did.
Restricted is so brilliantly written that anyone could enjoy it. Writing about an eating disorder is such a touchy subject sometimes things sound not the way their meant to but Jennifer has put everything so perfectly together.
The emotions, struggles, and thoughts all of Erin are described so well it's almost as if you fully understand her and you are connected to her. We read that the disorder talks to her and tells her what to eat and what not to. When finishing this book I was so glad that Erin had made a change and was building her self-esteem. Going through the outpatient therapy twice really helped her and I was glad when she went back the second time.
I know there will be a second book following up on Erin's story and I can honestly say I'm thrilled at the idea. I think Jennifer has done an amazing thing writing this book not everyone could put it together the way she has.
Vampires, Werewolves, Angels, Ghosts etc are normally what I read about so this was a big step for me something I am so glad I did. I usually shy away from books are based on near real events and read stuff that isn't. But I won this book and decided to give it a chance instead of judging it. Which I am so happy I did.
Restricted is so brilliantly written that anyone could enjoy it. Writing about an eating disorder is such a touchy subject sometimes things sound not the way their meant to but Jennifer has put everything so perfectly together.
The emotions, struggles, and thoughts all of Erin are described so well it's almost as if you fully understand her and you are connected to her. We read that the disorder talks to her and tells her what to eat and what not to. When finishing this book I was so glad that Erin had made a change and was building her self-esteem. Going through the outpatient therapy twice really helped her and I was glad when she went back the second time.
I know there will be a second book following up on Erin's story and I can honestly say I'm thrilled at the idea. I think Jennifer has done an amazing thing writing this book not everyone could put it together the way she has.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews