The Pastor's Wife

by Diane Fanning

When Pastor Matthew Winkler was found dead at his Fourth Street Church of Christ parsonage in Selmer, Tennessee, both police investigators and parishioners were shaken and How could evil strike this cradle of faith? Meanwhile, Mrs. Winkler and her three daughters were still missing…A frantic search for Mary Winkler and the girls ensued. Once they were found, on a beach in Alabama, Mary was charged with murdering her husband in cold blood. But why did Mary pull the trigger? What sexual and psychological abuses did she allege she had suffered? In the months that followed, the crime—and the Winkler's marriage—would be exposed by the national media; Mary herself even appeared on Oprah. Set in a world of domineering men, obedient wives, and unshakable faith, this is the true story about what happened to Matthew Winkler and THE PASTOR'S WIFE

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Biography, Religion, Crime

332 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Tooter · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

[Petra X · Rating 4 out of 5]

Secret lives, who knows what goes on when the front door is locked and the children in bed? Abusive men threaten women with death and taking away their children all the time, but the women go to the police, they go to Women's Shelters, they go to various charities, churches or their family. They don't in general pick up guns to threaten their husbands and oh, it went off accidentally, so then they take the kids and run away trying to cover their trail as they go. Was she guilty of murder or manslaughter or was the abuse-excuse justified?

I knew a man, aged about 24, a chef, a white guy, he grew up in Zimbabwe. He left home in his mid-teens because he was fed up with the physical abuse from his very strict father. When he went back to visit his mother one day he said he caught his father abusing her and so he picked up a gun to threaten him but oh, it went off and so he ran away to South Africa and with the help of a bent lawyer got himself a passport and a fast exit (at almost the same time as the bent lawyer) to a tiny island in the Caribbean. He married an English girl from a posh family and went to the UK where they now have a little country house pub and restaurant. She has no idea.... Was he guilty of murder? Was the pastor's wife?

[justablondemoment · Rating 3 out of 5]

True Crime books will either engross me or bore me, black or white with little gray. One of the hardest subjects to engage readers in, because facts are hard to get through without putting the reader to sleep. This book was at times boring... like when the author went through huge details of the state, when I really didn't care and mostly paragraph skipped through it. On the flip side of the coin, she did a pretty good job of keeping me wanting more info on the crime itself and the personalities behind the perpetrator, the victim and all those involved then delivering those facts without completely losing me. Still... It was just an okay book for me.

[Regina the Constant Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last 5 years you've heard about this...A young pastor is found dead, shot in the back, and his wife and three daughters are missing. Three days later she's found in Alabama, and confessing to murder. The book was really good, and interesting, up until chapter 35. The author went into way too much detail about the courtroom testimony, which was quite boring. My suggestion would be to read up to chapter 35, then skip chapters 36-51. Trust me, you won't be missing anything. = )

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't decide how I felt about this book!

The writing was somewhat poor, but I still could not put the book down. Parts were written really well, but some sentences in the beginning were a bit off-kilter

My biggest problem was her analysis of the church of Christ. It is not a cult or a sect and does not encourage misogyny.

[Patti · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt the author put more information not needed into the book to extend the book.. I did not find the book that interesting nor did it keep my attention. I was slightly disappointed.

[Katrin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting. There is a lot of she said but unfortunately he wasn't there to speak for himself because she took the option. I think she should have gotten a harsher sentence.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was fairly good to read, it didn't tell me anything that other sources (i.e., CNN, HLN, etc.) have not already indicated to us. I don't know anyone involved in this case, but we all know & understand that Domestic Violence is a growing issue, sadly it does end in violence sometimes. No, I don't think it's OK kill another person, ever. I also don't think that she should have done what she did w/ small children in the house. I try to put myself in her shoes & ask: "what would I have done (or) do?" The truth is - I do not know.

What about you: Do you think justice was served? What are your thoughts on this story?? If enjoy true crime and true life stories where the issue of "was justice served" is datable, this is the book to read. Truthfully, I think justice was served.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love true crime (I didn't go to university for criminology for no reason), but I'm not sure I love Diane Fanning's writing style. I remember this case being on the news back when it happened, but over the years the details were lost on me. While I do appreciate a presentation of accurate facts, the way they were presented made the book boring and sometimes hard to slog through. I might give her one more try, to see if a more interesting case would make for a more interesting written account.

[Nancy Loe · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've never read any of Fanning's other true crime books and now I'm not likely to. Her writing is saccharine and florid and apparently there's a rule that every noun must have an adjective. This is an interesting case, but it needs a real writer to do it justice.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished last night. Great book. Cant believe she didn't spend any time in jail. She should have just divorced him. The kids will grow up confused...

[David W. Cofer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book details the shocking death of a church of Christ minister, Matthew Winkler by his wife Mary. This true crime occurred in Tennessee in 2006. Fanning covers the trial extensively and delves into the background of both Mary and Matthew.

As in any crime or trial, there are a multitude of unanswered questions. Was the shooting intentional or an accident? Only Mary knows, and she may not know for sure. Was the emotional and physical abuse as bad as described? Again, only Mary knows. Was justice served? Was the best interest of the children served by returning them to Mary after her sentence was served? Many questions linger that remain unanswered.

This is a fascinating story and book that I read in only 3 days. I just could not stand to put it down. I highly recommend it, especially for fans of true crime stories.

My only complaint is Fanning’s story has much false information about the church of Christ. Starting with the title, Winkler was not a pastor. A pastor is the same as a church elder, of which the Bible indicates there must be a plurality. One man alone cannot serve scripturally as an elder, and furthermore, Winker was not an elder, nor was he qualified to be an elder. Fanning repeatedly refers to a “sanctuary” in the building. No church of Christ refers to their building, or any part of it, as a sanctuary. The building is not holy, people are. Without belaboring the point, there are other inaccuracies regarding the church of Christ in the book. Other than these quibbles, I highly recommend the book.

[CrabbyPatty · Rating 2 out of 5]

The true-crime story of a Church of Christ (read uber conservative) pastor killed by his wife caught my attention when it happened in 2006 and I read this book thinking I'd perhaps get some insight into the WHYs of the case, since the "where" and "when" were pretty cut-and-dried.

Unfortunately, this book gives lots and lots of facts and details (plus quoting LOTS of court testimony). We get a brief history of every community, every church, every family involved in the story, but there's no interpretation of why this happened, no insight into the personalities involved. In the last chapter, the author finally offers some insight but at that point, it was a little bit, way too late.

[Elaine Nickolan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This true crime book explores the murder of Matthew Winkler, a preacher from Tenn. His wife stands accused of the crime. Is this open and shut case really a slam dunk for the prosecution? Not really. This story explores what may have taken place behind closed doors. As sides are drawn you are either pro Mary or anti Mary. While an interesting story, the book seemed a bit dragged out. Once the trial gets under way the reading goes much quicker. All in all I would look at another offering by this author.

[Mrs. Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve written negative reviews of so many of Fanning’s books that I owe her a 👍🏻 for this one. The Pastor’s Wife was more than a stretched-out rehash what was in the paper; it actually held my attention. It turns out that the clergyman was a [secret] wife-abuser, while his lying, stealing, check-kiting wife was the real victim. As is obvious, I agreed with Fanning’s take on the crime, but I appreciated that in this book at least, she wasn’t an arm of the prosecution or defense. Recommended for true crime fans who aren’t already familiar with the murder.

[Rosa Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up to a 4.

I'd watched the 20/20 about this case not too long ago and I saw the author of this book was one of the commentators. My interest was piqued.

The book was pretty well written. It comes across as objective and not taking anyone's side. This was written only about a year or a couple years after the trial so some things have changed. The material is pretty dry due to how factual it is. I don't mind it, especially with a case since it has people that are still alive involved like their children.

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am always fascinated by reading true crime stories, and this book didn't disappoint. I was riveted by all of the details that led up to the pastor's wife shooting her husband. It's the classic story of a woman abused by her husband and it's all the more shocking because he was the pastor of a Church of Christ church. Mary was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter, which I thought was a very fitting. It would have been a tragedy if she had been found guilty of first degree murder.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mostly read this because I knew Mary Carol as kids. We went to the same church. She was so quiet and good with her sister, and her mother was about the sweetest lady ever. Knowing what I know of Mary Carol, I believe what she says, and I have my own theories about what happened that morning. However, the author of this book got SO MANY details about her description of the churches of Christ wrong, that I wonder how many other things in her book are incorrect.

[♥ Marlene♥]

Oops I was nearly going to buy this book when i discovered I already had it and I read half of it but did not like where it was going.

The book began quite confusing but I was interested. I gave up half way when I looked the results up. could not do it. No rating .

[Rotosca Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book overall, I do feel the author could have left somethings out of the book due to it be completely Irrelevant to the incident. It’s very sad; I feel bad for both sides of the family & it’s unfortunate that Matthew is not here to tell his side of the story.

[Jazmine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This is an interesting case and proves you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. However, I felt the author strayed off topic at times with family histories and historical facts about every town.

[Shaylia Wood · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little slow with the story line but still interesting.

[Deanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good read, which I finished in two days.

[One Sentence Audio Critic · Rating 3 out of 5]

The movie based on this book is streaming free on YouTube, Pastor's Wife.

[Fred bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very documentarian

This documentary is chock full of details. I enjoyed the bird’s eye view style of this interesting true crime story.

[Kelly Greeke · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an interesting case!

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read a Diane Fanning book or two and liked them so I had decent ideas that this one would be pretty good. I found it to be a little lacking in some areas. There seemed to be a bit of repetition on some things and there were also some grammatical errors which are just a pet peeve of mine. All in all, it was decent but wasn't something that I just couldn't put down.

[Gina Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's was a good read. Flowed well and easy to follow.

[Steve Kemp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I live in middle tennessee and have followed this case since day one. My first thought was "that crazy bitch is lying her ass off" ! Pisses me off that this murderer served virtually no time all because she decided to destroy her husbands image with lies that got bigger and bigger the longer the trial played out . I believe that when she was caught in Alabama her intention was to kill herself and the kids ,I have always thought that ! And the author also brings up this scenerio toward the end of the book . Also the clothing and items Miss Murder used to slander this poor man in court were not in the house upon the police search ,only provided in court by her lawyers ! She basically lied and faked her way to no punishment ,and now has custody of the children and is now leeching off the state by faking M.S. ! I can go on and on ,but won't .It's a sad sad day when Judges let people like this free ! I am sure this Judge regrets ever doing it ,he would have to if he has any brains at all. An absolute travesty of justice ! If you get a chance check out murdering mary's two facebook pages ,not at all the fake persona she put on in court ! When she was out on bond she was spotted in a bar drinking and smoking with friends .When she was asked if she was the woman who murdered her pastor husband she replied " Yes ! ,and If you don't go away you will be next ! "while laughing her ass off ! (this was before the trial mind you ! ) I think that says it all ! I am horrified to say she now lives less than 60 miles from my family . What a psychopath ! What a giant kick in the gonads to our justice system . Sweet ,innocent,christian,loving mother .......MY ASS !
Very much worth checking out, the author lays out every detail for you from both sides . Get it ,read it , and remember this could happen anywhere . And Mary ,do us a favor and jump in front of a bus ! White Trash extrordinaire !

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a huge mystery fan, but every once in awhile, a true crime title will grab my attention like this one did. A few years ago I'd read an article in Glamour about a pastor's wife awaiting trial for the murder of her husband, and had always wanted to know how the case turned out.

This is one of those situations where truth is more complicated than fiction. While it appears clear that Matthew Winkler was a controlling and probably even abusive husband, it's not clear how far that abuse went, and so also not clear how aware of her actions Mary was on March 22, 2006, the day Matthew died from a shotgun wound to the back. I really appreciated Fanning's clear-eyed narration of the events leading up to Matthew's death and the trial that followed. As Matthew's death receded into the past, Mary grew braver and bolder in her stories of his abuse and Matthew's family grew colder and angrier at the daughter-in-law who refused to apologize for shooting their son.

Unfortunately this feud is ongoing. After regaining custody of her daughters in 2008, Mary sued her in-laws this spring for misusing money that had been donated to a trust fund for her daughters. Some see this as another sign of Mary's greediness and lack of remorse. But when over $100,000 dollars were used to pay the grandparents legal fees, and included a family trip to Disney World (a trip that prevented Mary from having a requested visit with her girls), does that really sound like the best use of money meant to cover the cost of raising three young girls?

It's an ugly story that seems reluctant to find a happy ending, but Fanning did an excellent job bringing out both sides, as well as stressing the importance of helping your friends the minute you suspect they are the victims of domestic violence, rather than waiting until it's too late.