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Thicker than Water: A Memoir
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2023)Award-winning actor, director, producer, and activist Kerry Washington shares the deeply moving journey of her life so far, and the "beautiful" story of discovering her truth in this instant New York Times bestseller (Oprah Winfrey).
While on a drive in Los Angeles, on a seemingly average afternoon, Kerry Washington received a text message that would send her on a life-changing journey of self-discovery. In an instant, her very identity was torn apart, with everything she thought she knew about herself thrown into question.
In Thicker than Water, Washington gives readers an intimate view into both her public and private worlds—as a mother, daughter, wife, artist, advocate, and trailblazer. Chronicling her upbringing and life’s journey thus far, she reveals how she faced a series of challenges and setbacks, effectively hid childhood traumas, met extraordinary mentors, managed to grow her career, and crossed the threshold into stardom and political advocacy, ultimately discovering her truest self and, with it, a deeper sense of belonging.
Throughout this profoundly moving and beautifully written memoir, Washington attempts to answer the questions so many have struggled Who am I? What is my truest and most authentic self? How do I find a deeper sense of connection and belonging? With grace and honesty, she inspires readers to search for—and find—themselves.
While on a drive in Los Angeles, on a seemingly average afternoon, Kerry Washington received a text message that would send her on a life-changing journey of self-discovery. In an instant, her very identity was torn apart, with everything she thought she knew about herself thrown into question.
In Thicker than Water, Washington gives readers an intimate view into both her public and private worlds—as a mother, daughter, wife, artist, advocate, and trailblazer. Chronicling her upbringing and life’s journey thus far, she reveals how she faced a series of challenges and setbacks, effectively hid childhood traumas, met extraordinary mentors, managed to grow her career, and crossed the threshold into stardom and political advocacy, ultimately discovering her truest self and, with it, a deeper sense of belonging.
Throughout this profoundly moving and beautifully written memoir, Washington attempts to answer the questions so many have struggled Who am I? What is my truest and most authentic self? How do I find a deeper sense of connection and belonging? With grace and honesty, she inspires readers to search for—and find—themselves.
321 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 26, 2023
1273 people are currently reading
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,033 reviews
October 2, 2023
3.5 lackluster stars⭐️
This pains my heart to say this, but this book was slightly lacking for me. I adore Kerry Washington and consider myself one of her biggest fans, but the writing style of this book is proof that Kerry can’t be incredible at everything. I mean that in a good way. While we find out a lot of things that we had no clue about because let’s be honest..Kerry is the master at keeping her private life, private..I just felt it was lacking in parts.
If I could go back I wouldn’t have watched the Robin Roberts special nor would I have listened to Jay Shetty’s podcast before the release of this book. Everything was revealed and left nothing for the book. I will say this, I admire Kerry’s strength and courage to come out with the secrets that she had held all her life. That’s got to be so freeing. I love reading celebrity memoirs, especially those of Black women because it further reinforces something that I speak on quite often. Black people are not monoliths. Each one of us has a story unique to us and come from different backgrounds. My appreciation and respect has definitely grown deeper for Kerry. She will always be one of my favorite actresses on the planet!
I listened to this via audiobook and I loved having Kerry’s smooth silky voice in my ears. Bravo for a wonderful audio experience.
This pains my heart to say this, but this book was slightly lacking for me. I adore Kerry Washington and consider myself one of her biggest fans, but the writing style of this book is proof that Kerry can’t be incredible at everything. I mean that in a good way. While we find out a lot of things that we had no clue about because let’s be honest..Kerry is the master at keeping her private life, private..I just felt it was lacking in parts.
If I could go back I wouldn’t have watched the Robin Roberts special nor would I have listened to Jay Shetty’s podcast before the release of this book. Everything was revealed and left nothing for the book. I will say this, I admire Kerry’s strength and courage to come out with the secrets that she had held all her life. That’s got to be so freeing. I love reading celebrity memoirs, especially those of Black women because it further reinforces something that I speak on quite often. Black people are not monoliths. Each one of us has a story unique to us and come from different backgrounds. My appreciation and respect has definitely grown deeper for Kerry. She will always be one of my favorite actresses on the planet!
I listened to this via audiobook and I loved having Kerry’s smooth silky voice in my ears. Bravo for a wonderful audio experience.
October 7, 2023
I am a HUGE Kerry Washington fan.
Unfortunately, I was NOT a fan of her memoir.
WHY?
1) Waaay too many pages were spent on Kerry Washington's lamenting over her "I was conceived with an unknown man's sperm" family secret.
2) The book was fragmented and Kerry Washington's life experiences were not presented in sequential order.
Readers learn that when she was younger she had lesbian relationships, years of therapy, and an abortion.
We also learned that she had an eating disorder.
Yet, there was little elaboration on these shocking reveals.
3) I selected the book because I wanted to learn more about Kerry Washington's trajectory to success as an acclaimed actress.
I was also interested in learning more about her "behind the scenes" actress experiences and the challenges she faced as a working mom.
To my disappointment, a large portion of the book did not showcase Kerry Washington, the actress and working mom.
Instead, too many pages were devoted to Kerry Washington's role as a political activist and her quest for a "deeper sense of belonging".
4) Prior to publication, the book's "big reveal family secret" of Kerry Washington being a "donor kid" was heavily publicized.
In the book, this "big reveal family secret" was not revealed until the end of the book.
When Kerry Washington FINALLY told readers that the "weird disconnect" she had with her father was due to the fact that he was not her biological father, the reveal was very anticlimactic since Kerry's publicity team had publicized the reveal prior to the book's release.
I listened to the audiobook.
I always love it when writers read their own memoirs and Kerry Washington did an outstanding job with the narration.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2024
Interesting and the writing was good!
December 18, 2024
I remember when I first saw this actress in the television series, “Scandal.” I thought she was the must stunningly beautiful woman. But more than that, I was mesmerized by her brilliant acting. I couldn’t wait to tune in each week to see what would happen, just to watch how she would navigate the episodic storms that would occur. Besides, it was always quite fun to experience the amazing sexual chemistry between her and Tony Goldwyn, who played President Fitzgerald.
But as in typical TV world fashion, good things don’t always last. I think I gave up after a couple of seasons. The storyline, in my opinion, got a bit convoluted.
Still, that didn’t lessen my respect for Kerry Washington as an actress.
So, when her memoir came out, I was interested. And, grateful that my local library had it available.
I read this one in-between my other novels. It was kind of a slow burn. It didn’t pull me in to want to read it from the moment I opened its pages. So, it was okay for me to walk away a day here or a day there. It didn’t mean it wasn’t a good read. It just worked well for me reading it in this way.
This is a different story. It doesn’t include pictures. I say that, because a lot of times we (me) expect to see the glitz and the glamour of actors we know showing their life in pictures between the pages of their story. None show up here.
Instead, we have a family history that is complex, but filled with love and a yearning for connection. And, interestingly enough, it wasn’t until her early 40’s when she was a guest on the PBS TV series, “Finding Your Roots” that she learned how her “beginnings” had been kept from her by her parents. She had always wondered. Now she understood. But after the secrets were revealed, she and her parents could now feel a sense of relief. Still, this backstory is really a small part of who the author truly is. Or what this novel is about.
She is an artist. She is fairly secretive. Maybe this is another reason she doesn’t have pictures of herself or her family in this book. Even her wedding was a secret. So, it was really a surprise that she chose to write a memoir. Now, will all the secrets, besides her birth come out?
In this story, she shares her upbringing, her resume of acting experiences, and her vulnerabilities. In her storytelling she is very raw and real to readers. She feels sincere. And because she chooses to share her story in this way, readers can find their own way to connect to her.
For anyone who enjoys her acting, or may be curious about Kerry Washington, I recommend her story.
But as in typical TV world fashion, good things don’t always last. I think I gave up after a couple of seasons. The storyline, in my opinion, got a bit convoluted.
Still, that didn’t lessen my respect for Kerry Washington as an actress.
So, when her memoir came out, I was interested. And, grateful that my local library had it available.
I read this one in-between my other novels. It was kind of a slow burn. It didn’t pull me in to want to read it from the moment I opened its pages. So, it was okay for me to walk away a day here or a day there. It didn’t mean it wasn’t a good read. It just worked well for me reading it in this way.
This is a different story. It doesn’t include pictures. I say that, because a lot of times we (me) expect to see the glitz and the glamour of actors we know showing their life in pictures between the pages of their story. None show up here.
Instead, we have a family history that is complex, but filled with love and a yearning for connection. And, interestingly enough, it wasn’t until her early 40’s when she was a guest on the PBS TV series, “Finding Your Roots” that she learned how her “beginnings” had been kept from her by her parents. She had always wondered. Now she understood. But after the secrets were revealed, she and her parents could now feel a sense of relief. Still, this backstory is really a small part of who the author truly is. Or what this novel is about.
She is an artist. She is fairly secretive. Maybe this is another reason she doesn’t have pictures of herself or her family in this book. Even her wedding was a secret. So, it was really a surprise that she chose to write a memoir. Now, will all the secrets, besides her birth come out?
In this story, she shares her upbringing, her resume of acting experiences, and her vulnerabilities. In her storytelling she is very raw and real to readers. She feels sincere. And because she chooses to share her story in this way, readers can find their own way to connect to her.
For anyone who enjoys her acting, or may be curious about Kerry Washington, I recommend her story.
October 7, 2023
Thicker than Water is Kerry Washington’s memoir in which she shares her quest to find her truth. As an only child growing up in The Bronx, Kerry was appreciative of her parents’ support, but couldn’t say she always felt connected to them and the tension between her parents often made her uneasy.
In this memoir, Kerry describes her childhood, her acting career, touches briefly on being a mom and a wife, as well as an activist. I loved Scandal which is my first association of Kerry, the actress, but forgot until reading this how many other roles she’s held over the years.
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Kerry herself, my favorite way to consume most memoirs, and unsurprisingly, she did a great job reading it. I do think she breezed over some things, which made me wonder why she included them in the story, but overall I appreciated the authenticity Kerry shares in Thicker than Water.
In this memoir, Kerry describes her childhood, her acting career, touches briefly on being a mom and a wife, as well as an activist. I loved Scandal which is my first association of Kerry, the actress, but forgot until reading this how many other roles she’s held over the years.
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Kerry herself, my favorite way to consume most memoirs, and unsurprisingly, she did a great job reading it. I do think she breezed over some things, which made me wonder why she included them in the story, but overall I appreciated the authenticity Kerry shares in Thicker than Water.
October 11, 2023
I love Kerry Washington down ….. unfortunately this book just didn’t do it for me 😩I’m sorry.
Yes she let us in about her childhood SA, mental health, body issues, and family dynamics but still feel like something was missing. She skipped a lot. The majority of this book was about her parents!!!!
While it was well written a lot of it was boring or maybe it’s because I can’t relate to most of it. I had the ebook and had to switch to the audio which I already knew it would be great because she narrated it.
I rushed to read this & I really could’ve waited. I wanted to love this so bad. 🫣!!
Yes she let us in about her childhood SA, mental health, body issues, and family dynamics but still feel like something was missing. She skipped a lot. The majority of this book was about her parents!!!!
While it was well written a lot of it was boring or maybe it’s because I can’t relate to most of it. I had the ebook and had to switch to the audio which I already knew it would be great because she narrated it.
I rushed to read this & I really could’ve waited. I wanted to love this so bad. 🫣!!
October 18, 2023
⭐️⭐️/5️⃣—> I rate this 2 out of 5 stars.
BORING, BORING, BORING! I really really really wanted to like her book, but it lacked everything a memoir should have! I felt like she was telling her parents story more than her own story. She gave us all these details about her parents lives, but nothing about her own life. It lacked intimacy and depth into her inner most life, experiences, and thoughts…. It was VERY surface. I also felt that she grazed over major life events, and made small life events more dramatic than they needed to be. She didn’t go into detail at all about how her mom had cancer three times. She didn’t discuss how she managed that while being a working actress, and how or if it affected her or anything. She dramatized her love of swimming and water into some random life lessons that didn’t even apply to anything she shared. She barely shared anything at all about her husband and family.
I was disappointed not in the execution of the writing, but her lack of sharing and holding back. It seemed unfair and it was a set up to read things about her that I probably could’ve researched on Google. I’m all for wanting privacy…. But don’t write a book and call it a memoir if you’re not going to let readers into your life. I also read this directly after reading Leslie Jones memoir which was a little too transparent ha ha So therefore I may have just carried over those same expectations for Kerry’s book, regardless, it was still a boring snooze fest.
BORING, BORING, BORING! I really really really wanted to like her book, but it lacked everything a memoir should have! I felt like she was telling her parents story more than her own story. She gave us all these details about her parents lives, but nothing about her own life. It lacked intimacy and depth into her inner most life, experiences, and thoughts…. It was VERY surface. I also felt that she grazed over major life events, and made small life events more dramatic than they needed to be. She didn’t go into detail at all about how her mom had cancer three times. She didn’t discuss how she managed that while being a working actress, and how or if it affected her or anything. She dramatized her love of swimming and water into some random life lessons that didn’t even apply to anything she shared. She barely shared anything at all about her husband and family.
I was disappointed not in the execution of the writing, but her lack of sharing and holding back. It seemed unfair and it was a set up to read things about her that I probably could’ve researched on Google. I’m all for wanting privacy…. But don’t write a book and call it a memoir if you’re not going to let readers into your life. I also read this directly after reading Leslie Jones memoir which was a little too transparent ha ha So therefore I may have just carried over those same expectations for Kerry’s book, regardless, it was still a boring snooze fest.
September 30, 2023
I love Kerry Washington! I've loved her since I watched her in Save the Last Dance as a kid. As an adult I obviously also loved her as Olivia Pope in Scandal. I guess you could say I grew up with her and she's not even old.
Thicker than Water is a moving and honest story of how her parents huge secret effect her even before she knew that they had a secret. Kerry has had to deal with sexual abuse, eating disorders, self esteem issues and constant feeling that something was off in her life.
Kerry Washington is an intensely private person. I forgot that she even had children. Thicker than Water isn't a juicy tell all, it's a captivating and beautiful story. She's a sweet and incredibly forgiving person. This book wasn't as good as her fellow Shondaland star Viola Davis but I really enjoyed this book, even the hard parts.
A Must Read!
Thicker than Water is a moving and honest story of how her parents huge secret effect her even before she knew that they had a secret. Kerry has had to deal with sexual abuse, eating disorders, self esteem issues and constant feeling that something was off in her life.
Kerry Washington is an intensely private person. I forgot that she even had children. Thicker than Water isn't a juicy tell all, it's a captivating and beautiful story. She's a sweet and incredibly forgiving person. This book wasn't as good as her fellow Shondaland star Viola Davis but I really enjoyed this book, even the hard parts.
A Must Read!
Read
November 23, 2023**no rating for memoirs**
i devoured this book in 1-2 audiobook listening/sittings! it was so interesting to listen to and i loved learning more about Kerry.
the beginning started off really strong and i loved chapters 1-2 which pulled me in to the big drama/reveal at present day. then she took the story back to her childhood and you had to wait until the last chapter or 2 to learn what happened to her leading up to present day. the order of the events was a bit off for me—i like when memoirs are told chronologically and this was semi-that, but she did skip around a bit.
as a huge Scandal fan, i’ve loved Kerry for awhile and i was interested to hear more about her and her time on the show, etc. of course there wasn’t THAT much tea or info shared about her time on the show which was upsetting bc it spanned over 7 years. i wanted to learn more about her relationships w her costars like Fitz and Mellie and Quinn… but it was rather surface level and she talked most about her relationship w Shonda (producer) than anyone else. she did share how close she was w the cast and how they were a family tho. and now i want to rewatch ASAP😂
like with most memoirs, this showed me how little you know about someone in the public eye. it’s always so fascinating to learn about how they grew up, their family life, their internal struggles, what they went through, etc. bc it makes them more “human” in a way? if that makes any sense 😅 i am always so grateful to celebrities that let us peek under the hood bc i can’t imagine how hard it is sharing this with the world when it’s been private for so long!!!
🎧 highly reco the audiobook! told in her voice and is the best way to consume memoirs IMO :)
i devoured this book in 1-2 audiobook listening/sittings! it was so interesting to listen to and i loved learning more about Kerry.
the beginning started off really strong and i loved chapters 1-2 which pulled me in to the big drama/reveal at present day. then she took the story back to her childhood and you had to wait until the last chapter or 2 to learn what happened to her leading up to present day. the order of the events was a bit off for me—i like when memoirs are told chronologically and this was semi-that, but she did skip around a bit.
as a huge Scandal fan, i’ve loved Kerry for awhile and i was interested to hear more about her and her time on the show, etc. of course there wasn’t THAT much tea or info shared about her time on the show which was upsetting bc it spanned over 7 years. i wanted to learn more about her relationships w her costars like Fitz and Mellie and Quinn… but it was rather surface level and she talked most about her relationship w Shonda (producer) than anyone else. she did share how close she was w the cast and how they were a family tho. and now i want to rewatch ASAP😂
like with most memoirs, this showed me how little you know about someone in the public eye. it’s always so fascinating to learn about how they grew up, their family life, their internal struggles, what they went through, etc. bc it makes them more “human” in a way? if that makes any sense 😅 i am always so grateful to celebrities that let us peek under the hood bc i can’t imagine how hard it is sharing this with the world when it’s been private for so long!!!
🎧 highly reco the audiobook! told in her voice and is the best way to consume memoirs IMO :)
March 4, 2024
3 stars
I’m a big fan of Kerry Washington and her narration was fantastic in her memoir Thicker than Water. Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy this book. It was just okay for me. It's hard to explain without spoiling the book, but I feel like there were a lot of revelations, but it was almost too much without being fleshed out if that makes sense. Oh well, not every book is for everyone. On to the next one…
I’m a big fan of Kerry Washington and her narration was fantastic in her memoir Thicker than Water. Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy this book. It was just okay for me. It's hard to explain without spoiling the book, but I feel like there were a lot of revelations, but it was almost too much without being fleshed out if that makes sense. Oh well, not every book is for everyone. On to the next one…
Audio book source: Libby
Story Rating: 3 stars
Narrators: Kerry Washington
Narration Rating: 5 stars
Genre: Non-fiction/Memoir
Length: 8h 59m
October 4, 2023
Washington has always been a very private person and for that, I applaud her. It is because of this that I was surprised she chose to write a memoir and share more of her life. This isn’t a tell-all like some might want from her (what memoir even is?) but it is an honest and graceful reflection of her childhood and rise to stardom. In this memoir, Washington grapples with fundamental questions of identity and belonging, echoing the universal quest for self-discovery.
Raised by a father that drank too much and a mother who was constantly adjusting to his mood swings, Washington learned from a very early age how to retreat inside herself and remain invisible. She felt that she had to keep the peace of everyone around her, causing her to cut off her authenticity, abandoning her own emotions and truths. Acting became her lifeline, allowing her to step in to her true self, find her voice, and express herself. She shares her experiences of navigating her sometimes tumultuous childhood and the complexities of stardom, offering a rare glimpse into the struggles and triumphs that shaped her.
Unfortunately, this memoir was a bit lackluster for me. The storytelling lacked the sense of pizazz that I was looking for. There was a lot of build up to the "big family secret" and once it was revealed, it was quite anticlimactic. There were also moments from her life that she deemed necessary to include—her same-sex relationship as an adolescent, her abortion— that she didn't expand on which seemed futile.
Overall, it was a fine enough read but it won’t be making my list of favorite memoirs of the year.
Raised by a father that drank too much and a mother who was constantly adjusting to his mood swings, Washington learned from a very early age how to retreat inside herself and remain invisible. She felt that she had to keep the peace of everyone around her, causing her to cut off her authenticity, abandoning her own emotions and truths. Acting became her lifeline, allowing her to step in to her true self, find her voice, and express herself. She shares her experiences of navigating her sometimes tumultuous childhood and the complexities of stardom, offering a rare glimpse into the struggles and triumphs that shaped her.
Unfortunately, this memoir was a bit lackluster for me. The storytelling lacked the sense of pizazz that I was looking for. There was a lot of build up to the "big family secret" and once it was revealed, it was quite anticlimactic. There were also moments from her life that she deemed necessary to include—her same-sex relationship as an adolescent, her abortion— that she didn't expand on which seemed futile.
Overall, it was a fine enough read but it won’t be making my list of favorite memoirs of the year.
January 18, 2024
Thicker than Water is very slow...
I've been a fan of Kerry Washington since Save the Last Dance and after seeing several interviews, decided that I would read her memoir but sadly, I was disappointed in the delivery.
This memoir didn’t go in “order” of her life, and I found myself questioning the timeline often and trying to understand where moments happened in her life. At least knowing her age in which such impactful moments happened would've helped.
Also, the first 30% of the book focused heavily on her parents relationship and even though she said this was about becoming the main character in her story, this book still felt like it was about her parents. Kerry played a supporting role in her own memoir.
Lastly, I still felt that a lot was left out and that she didn’t fully go into details of her life and held back. She glazed over her relationship with Nnamdi and the birth of her children but there were whole chapters dedicated to how she felt about swimming...
Kerry has a reputation of being very private and this book portrayed that in multiple ways... so all in all, I didn't learn anything new that wasn't told on her press tour interviews. This should be a book of reflection and not classified as a memoir in my opinion.
I've been a fan of Kerry Washington since Save the Last Dance and after seeing several interviews, decided that I would read her memoir but sadly, I was disappointed in the delivery.
This memoir didn’t go in “order” of her life, and I found myself questioning the timeline often and trying to understand where moments happened in her life. At least knowing her age in which such impactful moments happened would've helped.
Also, the first 30% of the book focused heavily on her parents relationship and even though she said this was about becoming the main character in her story, this book still felt like it was about her parents. Kerry played a supporting role in her own memoir.
Lastly, I still felt that a lot was left out and that she didn’t fully go into details of her life and held back. She glazed over her relationship with Nnamdi and the birth of her children but there were whole chapters dedicated to how she felt about swimming...
Kerry has a reputation of being very private and this book portrayed that in multiple ways... so all in all, I didn't learn anything new that wasn't told on her press tour interviews. This should be a book of reflection and not classified as a memoir in my opinion.
January 3, 2024
Outstanding autobiography. 10 of 10 stars
February 1, 2026
Kerry repeatedly talks about her detachment and need for privacy. This comes through clearly in the reading of her memoir.
While reading more about someone I have watched and admired was good, it felt detached and had zero intimacy.
I can tell that Kerry sharing this secret was huge, and she has spent years dwelling on a secret that felt like betrayal. Even the title is a bit of a slap in the face to what this means to her family.
The way it is written, it feels like the news was still raw for her, so I was shocked to see that it was completed and published five years after she first found out.
I hope to see more of Kerry onscreen, and maybe she can find more security and trust to let us in a bit more in a future memoir. I would love to feel like I was in the room with her while she read it, but instead, it felt like another skin she had slipped on for this part.
3 Stars.
While reading more about someone I have watched and admired was good, it felt detached and had zero intimacy.
I can tell that Kerry sharing this secret was huge, and she has spent years dwelling on a secret that felt like betrayal. Even the title is a bit of a slap in the face to what this means to her family.
The way it is written, it feels like the news was still raw for her, so I was shocked to see that it was completed and published five years after she first found out.
I hope to see more of Kerry onscreen, and maybe she can find more security and trust to let us in a bit more in a future memoir. I would love to feel like I was in the room with her while she read it, but instead, it felt like another skin she had slipped on for this part.
3 Stars.
Read
September 27, 2023I didn’t find anything revealing in this book. Finding out the family secret the week of this book being released ruin the moment or shock value for me. Everything else covered I already knew. I still think her parents is hiding secrets or she knows and is protecting them. I don’t think the full story was told. This book is for those that doesn’t know much about her.
December 16, 2024
In Thicker than Water, Kerry Washington manages to create an emotional and sublime story of her life.
We follow Ms. Washington from her upbringing in The Bronx, to her high profile life as an acclaimed actress. It is a relational book and the relationship she has with her parents takes center stage. She is an only child raised with a well-to-do black couple. Her parents are educated and strive to give her the best life they can, the best education. They love her. She is a wanted child, and they love her. Underneath, however, secrets brew.
At the centre of this brilliant memoir is a secret that her parents have kept from her, her whole life. It follows her throughout her life. She trusts us with her truth, and this clear display of vulnerability shocked me. I didn't expect a celebrity to be this honest, memoirs are rarely ever deeply true- there is always a veil.
Kerry has crafted an amazingly witty tale, it is clear she trusts the audience. I am in awe of her fortitude, intelligence and empathy. 4.9 stars.
We follow Ms. Washington from her upbringing in The Bronx, to her high profile life as an acclaimed actress. It is a relational book and the relationship she has with her parents takes center stage. She is an only child raised with a well-to-do black couple. Her parents are educated and strive to give her the best life they can, the best education. They love her. She is a wanted child, and they love her. Underneath, however, secrets brew.
"We three were the picture-perfect presentation of ourselves as we wanted to be perceived not only by the outside world, but by each other."
At the centre of this brilliant memoir is a secret that her parents have kept from her, her whole life. It follows her throughout her life. She trusts us with her truth, and this clear display of vulnerability shocked me. I didn't expect a celebrity to be this honest, memoirs are rarely ever deeply true- there is always a veil.
"And there, in those late-night hours, I sometimes met my mom and dad without their masks, angry beasts with no audience to pretend for anymore."
Kerry has crafted an amazingly witty tale, it is clear she trusts the audience. I am in awe of her fortitude, intelligence and empathy. 4.9 stars.
"I went to the imaginary, looking for some truth."
February 8, 2024
I loved how Kerry Washington described yoga as “an emotional and physical thawing”.
March 14, 2024
maybe rtc?? we shall see if i get out this life slump long enough to word vomit on here but this was real heartwarming!
October 18, 2023
I started this journey by reading the print copy. But it wasn’t connecting with me. So I decided to listen to the audiobook and allowed Kerry to read her story to me. As I listened, I used the print copy to follow along. That’s when I began to delight in this memoir.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 is not only the story of Kerry Washington, it is also the story of her parents, Earl and Valerie Washington. It is an exploration into disconnecting and disassociation within a family. The Washington family often used unspoken truths as means of avoiding pain. Kerry does a phenomenal job of capturing how this way of relating caused her long lasting emotional trauma.
I see this story in three parts.
The first part, is about a young Kerry and her life with her parents. Here she writes about the lies and secrets her parents told, and how these secrets created insecurities in Kerry. She shares how her parent’s inability to be vulnerable shaped her life. How it created an anxious Kerry that was disconnected from everyone. She didn’t know who she was. Even admitting there was a time she didn’t even know her favorite color.
Part two of the book dives into her acting career. Kerry shares stories about her roles in tv and film. This section is also where I learned about her college life, her husband, her eating disorder, and how she learned to find herself. This was my favorite section.
In the third and final part, Kerry is back with her parents, but this time she’s an adult. The care taker in many ways; a woman in search of truth and authenticity. No longer willing to accept secrets.
Kerry Washington always seemed mysterious to me. I’ve seen her on tv, I even follow her on social media, but still never knew much about her. That has changed. She has opened up in a big way. Bravely sharing stories about her personal life that some would shy away from telling. It’s Kerry’s courageous transparency that I appreciate most about this book.
But I must admit, looking back on all that I’ve read, what stands out most to me is what Kerry wrote about her dad.
Although this memoir is Kerry’s truth, and it is her story to tell, it seems to me that Kerry’s father is the one who stands to be the most negatively affected by this narrative. Kerry exposes his past with alcoholism, his in ability to financially support his family and his trouble with law. She acknowledges that her mother once wanted to divorce her father, but, she chose to stay married because she felt responsible for him.
The final blow was when Kerry exposed her dad’s inability to have a child. I felt sad for Kerry’s dad. I wonder if he read this book, and if so, I wonder how he feels about it. I’m sure Kerry didn’t mean to speak negatively of him. Her intention was never to be harmful. I know she loves her dad. However, I think he got the short end of the memoir stick.
Overall, I recommend 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 to everyone especially fans of Kerry Washington. You are sure to learn so much about her. You may want to consider listening to the audiobook over reading the print copy. I found listening to Kerry read her story much more enjoyable.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 is not only the story of Kerry Washington, it is also the story of her parents, Earl and Valerie Washington. It is an exploration into disconnecting and disassociation within a family. The Washington family often used unspoken truths as means of avoiding pain. Kerry does a phenomenal job of capturing how this way of relating caused her long lasting emotional trauma.
I see this story in three parts.
The first part, is about a young Kerry and her life with her parents. Here she writes about the lies and secrets her parents told, and how these secrets created insecurities in Kerry. She shares how her parent’s inability to be vulnerable shaped her life. How it created an anxious Kerry that was disconnected from everyone. She didn’t know who she was. Even admitting there was a time she didn’t even know her favorite color.
Part two of the book dives into her acting career. Kerry shares stories about her roles in tv and film. This section is also where I learned about her college life, her husband, her eating disorder, and how she learned to find herself. This was my favorite section.
In the third and final part, Kerry is back with her parents, but this time she’s an adult. The care taker in many ways; a woman in search of truth and authenticity. No longer willing to accept secrets.
Kerry Washington always seemed mysterious to me. I’ve seen her on tv, I even follow her on social media, but still never knew much about her. That has changed. She has opened up in a big way. Bravely sharing stories about her personal life that some would shy away from telling. It’s Kerry’s courageous transparency that I appreciate most about this book.
But I must admit, looking back on all that I’ve read, what stands out most to me is what Kerry wrote about her dad.
Although this memoir is Kerry’s truth, and it is her story to tell, it seems to me that Kerry’s father is the one who stands to be the most negatively affected by this narrative. Kerry exposes his past with alcoholism, his in ability to financially support his family and his trouble with law. She acknowledges that her mother once wanted to divorce her father, but, she chose to stay married because she felt responsible for him.
The final blow was when Kerry exposed her dad’s inability to have a child. I felt sad for Kerry’s dad. I wonder if he read this book, and if so, I wonder how he feels about it. I’m sure Kerry didn’t mean to speak negatively of him. Her intention was never to be harmful. I know she loves her dad. However, I think he got the short end of the memoir stick.
Overall, I recommend 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 to everyone especially fans of Kerry Washington. You are sure to learn so much about her. You may want to consider listening to the audiobook over reading the print copy. I found listening to Kerry read her story much more enjoyable.
October 11, 2023
I LOVE Kerry Washington and I wanted so much to LOVE this book, but it was just ok. She drops a couple of major secrets, but they had already been revealed during the press tour for the book. I didn't learn anything that I personally really wanted to know. I wanted more about her life in Hollywood, stories of her interactions with other actors, something that, ironically, her "Scandal" costar Columbus Short does pretty brazenly in his book. I definitely wanted more about her relationship with her husband, but she remains mostly tight lipped about him. She spends most of the book explaining a complicated relationship with her parents and it comes off as whiny and ungrateful in spots. It pains me to even write this, because I don't think of Kerry in this way. It's ironic to me that she affords her husband relative anonymity but lays the sins of her parents bare. I especially feel bad for her father, who is (seemingly) treated rather unfairly and portrayed a bit negatively. I still admire Kerry Washington, but have very mixed feelings about this book
October 1, 2023
Kerry Washington has been one of my favorite actors since Save the Last Dance. In her new memoir, Kerry laid it all on the table. Notorious for being private with her personal life, Kerry opened up in ways that I couldn't imagine.
From her Bronx roots to her tumultuous childhood; from her struggles to breaking into acting to her hit show Scandal that cemented her stardom; she opens the veil and lets us in.
This book was about Kerry finding herself. Moving beyond the facades that were impressed upon her since childhood. She stopped striving for perfection and became real.
We've all heard about the shocking truth she learned about her parents, but this book was more than that. I related so much to her journey of accepting who she is and finding freedom in dropping the mask she put on for everyone!
From her Bronx roots to her tumultuous childhood; from her struggles to breaking into acting to her hit show Scandal that cemented her stardom; she opens the veil and lets us in.
This book was about Kerry finding herself. Moving beyond the facades that were impressed upon her since childhood. She stopped striving for perfection and became real.
We've all heard about the shocking truth she learned about her parents, but this book was more than that. I related so much to her journey of accepting who she is and finding freedom in dropping the mask she put on for everyone!
November 21, 2023
This book was needlessly long. Many events were read out of order and repeated ad nauseam in different turns of phrase to satisfy the word count for her publisher. If you've seen any interviews with her or read a profile, you'll see that she divulges very little. If you're looking for inside gossip about her actor life, personal life or her work on the TV show scandal, you're going to be disappointed. If you want to hear repeatedly about her parents marriage and how she felt scared as a child, there's a lot of that.
June 5, 2024
ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕀 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜: Audiobook
ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖: n/a
ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪: Low
𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕪𝕡𝕖: Concluded: I also wouldn’t mind another book later in her life. Kerry is such an inspiration to all women.
•
𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕥𝕪𝕝𝕖: Written beautifully and paced very well. I thought it was a very easy read and follow along with.
𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤: “Fine: Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.”
&
“I didn’t know what I did not know.”
&
“Blood may be thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood.”
𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣: Chapter 10
𝔽𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣: Kerry of course! I absolutely loved getting more insight on what made her who she is today. She is such a strong woman and I aspire to be a strong as her!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
ℝ𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨: This is one of my favorite celebrity Memoir’s I’ve read to date! I related so much to Kerry’s childhood and absolutely loved to see what made her into the woman she is today. Kerry went through so much and is such a strong woman. I loved hearing about her life. I absolutely adored this book so much. Kerry is such a strong woman who went through so much and always made sure she landed on top. PM
ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖: n/a
ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪: Low
𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕪𝕡𝕖: Concluded: I also wouldn’t mind another book later in her life. Kerry is such an inspiration to all women.
•
𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕥𝕪𝕝𝕖: Written beautifully and paced very well. I thought it was a very easy read and follow along with.
𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤: “Fine: Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.”
&
“I didn’t know what I did not know.”
&
“Blood may be thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood.”
𝔽𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣: Chapter 10
𝔽𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣: Kerry of course! I absolutely loved getting more insight on what made her who she is today. She is such a strong woman and I aspire to be a strong as her!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
ℝ𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨: This is one of my favorite celebrity Memoir’s I’ve read to date! I related so much to Kerry’s childhood and absolutely loved to see what made her into the woman she is today. Kerry went through so much and is such a strong woman. I loved hearing about her life. I absolutely adored this book so much. Kerry is such a strong woman who went through so much and always made sure she landed on top. PM
October 25, 2023
Felt very guarded and incomplete
September 28, 2023
Absolutely loved the audiobook!
October 3, 2023
This was really amazing and insightful and I appreciate Kerry’s vulnerability in telling her story!
October 23, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
kerry washington is one of my absolute favorite actresses. so of course, in listening to her memoir, i expected nothing but greatness, as actors are excellent storytellers. and she definitely didn’t disappoint.
i only docked half a star because i wanted more story on her immediate family life. i know she and nnamdi are notoriously private celebrities (i mean no one even knew they were dating until they were married, and i have always admired that we still never seen their kids!) but i still was hoping for some sort of focus on their relationship.
she of course mentions him multiple times, and she gives a bit of details on the secret wedding and how it came to pass, but i really just expected so many more family stories!
but knowing that she is very private, im still grateful that she was willing to write this book. it was lovely.
kerry washington is one of my absolute favorite actresses. so of course, in listening to her memoir, i expected nothing but greatness, as actors are excellent storytellers. and she definitely didn’t disappoint.
i only docked half a star because i wanted more story on her immediate family life. i know she and nnamdi are notoriously private celebrities (i mean no one even knew they were dating until they were married, and i have always admired that we still never seen their kids!) but i still was hoping for some sort of focus on their relationship.
she of course mentions him multiple times, and she gives a bit of details on the secret wedding and how it came to pass, but i really just expected so many more family stories!
but knowing that she is very private, im still grateful that she was willing to write this book. it was lovely.
Read
December 7, 2023One of the strangest memoirs I've read to date.
It literally read as if it was a script or a role Kerry had played. She has outed her family but barely outs herself. Let's not mention her husband. Seriously, don't mention him. Not a thing is mentioned other than they were dating, they decided to get married, they had a child together. No details whatsoever. I'm not saying that we are owed those details only that the flow of this book was strange.
Just very strange.
It literally read as if it was a script or a role Kerry had played. She has outed her family but barely outs herself. Let's not mention her husband. Seriously, don't mention him. Not a thing is mentioned other than they were dating, they decided to get married, they had a child together. No details whatsoever. I'm not saying that we are owed those details only that the flow of this book was strange.
Just very strange.
February 7, 2024
I'm so upset bc I love Kerry Washington but this book did not hit the mark for me personally.
I enjoyed how she talked about her journey with anxiety, low self-esteem and perfectionism but I feel like this book was written by a perfectionist. I thought this would be a glimpse into getting to know the star better but this seemed to be more of a gloss over on her journey versus actually seeing her as an individual.
I enjoyed how she talked about her journey with anxiety, low self-esteem and perfectionism but I feel like this book was written by a perfectionist. I thought this would be a glimpse into getting to know the star better but this seemed to be more of a gloss over on her journey versus actually seeing her as an individual.
October 4, 2023
(3.5 stars) I enjoyed learning more about Kerry Washington's life and how her experiences have helped her embody different characters and tell a variety of stories. She is a gifted writer. But because the book is framed around a secret her parents withheld from her, I wish more time was spent on how Kerry processed the news. Instead this revelation is discussed in only two chapters, and perhaps because of this it felt as if something was being held back.
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**spoiler alert**
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As a donor conceived person, I am grateful to Kerry Washington for her bravery in sharing her story. It can be hard to share a truth about yourself—the truth of your very genetic makeup—when it was deliberately withheld. And I appreciate that Kerry openly writes about, and has shared in interviews, that she would like to find her parents’ donor.
I know from firsthand experience that being donor conceived can turn into a lifelong rollercoaster ride as genetic relatives are identified, connections are made, and/or rejection occurs. These changes can happen overnight, and they have the power to entirely change one’s outlook as a donor conceived person. Because Kerry’s experience has been in a holding pattern for a while, I wonder how she might feel when and if a change occurs for her—and how having more answers would have changed the way this book was written.
In sum, this is a memoir that provides an interesting insight into a shocking revelation for such a high profile person, but it is not a book that is truly focused on the revelation itself, such as Dani Shapiro’s “Inheritance” or Peter Boni’s “Uprooted.”
.
.
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.
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**spoiler alert**
.
.
.
.
.
As a donor conceived person, I am grateful to Kerry Washington for her bravery in sharing her story. It can be hard to share a truth about yourself—the truth of your very genetic makeup—when it was deliberately withheld. And I appreciate that Kerry openly writes about, and has shared in interviews, that she would like to find her parents’ donor.
I know from firsthand experience that being donor conceived can turn into a lifelong rollercoaster ride as genetic relatives are identified, connections are made, and/or rejection occurs. These changes can happen overnight, and they have the power to entirely change one’s outlook as a donor conceived person. Because Kerry’s experience has been in a holding pattern for a while, I wonder how she might feel when and if a change occurs for her—and how having more answers would have changed the way this book was written.
In sum, this is a memoir that provides an interesting insight into a shocking revelation for such a high profile person, but it is not a book that is truly focused on the revelation itself, such as Dani Shapiro’s “Inheritance” or Peter Boni’s “Uprooted.”
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