The Angry Mom's Guide to Self-Regulation: A Mind-Body Approach to Managing Your Emotions

by Emilie Delworth

Few adults learned how to regulate their emotions as children, and therefore, few mothers enter into their new role with the skill of self-regulation. The traditional approach to parenting has unintentionally taught generations of children to shut down their emotions and disconnect from their bodies. Those children have grown to become loving parents overwhelmed by dysregulated nervous systems, often finding themselves in a cycle of reactive behaviors, guilt and shame. In The Angry Mom's Guide to Self-Regulation, Emilie provides mindful reflections and accessible action steps that help readers identify their individual triggers, increase body awareness, and create a personalized practice of nervous system regulation. Whether you're a parent or not, If you are desperate to break free from your reactive default mode and begin living in alignment with your values, this is the book for you.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Growth

116 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 1, 2023

Reviews

[Rachel P · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good start?

I have a collection of books related to mindfulness in interactions that I want to work through. Mostly this started to help one of my children, but I figured it would help me too. I wanted to start with mindfulness related to parenting and then move to more general. I found this book on a recommendation of a recommendation, and since it's shorter I figured I'd start there.

First, I like that the book has concrete actions, links to videos (though I didn't watch), and recommends Journaling to reflect and document progress. All great things to put into action rather than just think/say.

But really, the book feels extremely superficial to me. Like attending a 1 hour parenting coaching class. Perhaps because I have degrees in communication and in psychology (including writing on psychiophysiology of trauma), I just found the entire thing.... lacking. The huge depth of research on emotions, reactions, interactions, and childhood trauma seems to be just shrunk to a "you react badly because of your parents, so hug your inner child." Which gives me the weird feeling of the old school "it's the mom's fault." I think this could build anxiety of "well if I don't figure this out, it'll all be my fault if my kid comes out with poor emotional regulation."

Also, the author's lack of transparency on her own background is a bit strange to me. So she didn't like her parenting so decided to do better. She read a few parenting books and here is hers. Well ok, that's legit but... does she have a background in psychology? Child development? Because she definitely seems to imply she's an expert at child developmental psychology and the psychology of trauma... but her (very few) citations include pop articles and a freaking one page *summary* of one of the most influential psychology studies on child attachment (Harlow, 1958). Harlow's study gets maybe a sentence, no in text citation, no elaboration, and from the works cited I'm not sure Delworth even read the actual study because she cites a one page summary. I'm not expecting an academic journal approach in this book, but come on.

Anyways, my background may bias me against the book. And like I said, it does give (very short) action descriptions to take. And I'm totally fine with a self-made parenting coach writing a book about what she learned. I just think even that would have more depth and more transparency.

[Meriam Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Generally just a good start to changing your mindset when it comes to responding to your child’s behavior. Behavior that triggers you isn’t the problem itself if the reaction you have. This book helps you heal your inner child/teen/and adult by retraining your brain to respond positively rather than reacting negatively to pretty much everything…bust especially those really triggering moments with your kids. For any parent who needs to rewrite that part of their brain, understand what’s happening, process, and build a toolbox to appropriate regulate your emotions for yourself and your loved ones.

[Marissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I really enjoyed this book! Even though it’s quite short, it’s packed with so much value. I loved the journal prompts and practical exercises. It’s not just something you read once and put down, it’s a guide you can keep coming back to. I definitely want to revisit the activities and really practice them. It feels like a supportive, compassionate tool for mums who want to better understand and regulate their emotions. I definitely needed to read this book!

[Bailey Anhder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very short book. I went through it probably faster than I’d recommended but I think I will read it again in a couple months. It’s very short so I wanted to get the whole plan first then go back through it again.
Very practical. Good explanation and practical application. Such good ideas. I’m hoping this book will help me learn to regulated better!

[Rach Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy read, great tips and summary

This book was so easy to read, Emilie manages to put complex science into easy to understand words and also attach actionable steps and journal prompts to put this science into action.

Highly recommend 👌

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even if not dealing with anger, but general overwhelm, especially in a postpartum period, there are helpful strategies within.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!!

[M.F. Sutherland · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think books like this are important, but it felt shallow; I wanted more of the author in honest moments of self-reflection and less of a safe Pinterest board.
Still, books like this are important.

[Bryana Viera · Rating 3 out of 5]

useful tools, but only a good start

[Hailey Krogel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is something I’ll have to refer back to continuously to really gain some traction from it

[Stephanie Borges Folarin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s like a workbook for staying calm. Interesting idea.

[Elisabeth Polnyj]

Eh. Maybe I would find it more useful if I went with the physical book vs Kindle?

[Saint Eli · Rating 4 out of 5]

sweet reminders

[Jen Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great start to self-regulating as a parent. I definitely will revisit this book as I continue to work on being a more mindful parent to my children.
There were some excellent take-aways from this book that definitely have aided in me healing my past self along with my current self/relationship with my children.

My favorite takeaway: "Mindset shifts are another skill that few of us had modeled for us. We tend to come up with a thought or elaborate story and automatically believe it. Through practicing mindfulness, we can recognize these stories for what they are and replace them with more objective truths or, at the very least, more loving thoughts."