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Hidden
When Ahmed's parents send him to a residential treatment center known as Serenity Ridge, it's with one to "fix" their son, at any cost. But eleven months of abuse and overmedication leave him desperate to escape. And when the opportunity comes, Ahmed runs away to San Francisco.
There, he moves into a secret safe house shared by a group of teens. Until they become independent at eighteen, the housemates hide away from authorities, bound by rules that both protect and frustrate. Ahmed, now known as Ben, tries to adjust to a life lived in impossibly close quarters with people he barely knows, all of whom guard secrets of their own. But even if they succeed in keeping the world at bay, there's no hiding from each other or from themselves. And there's no avoiding the conflicts, crushes, loneliness, and desire that could shatter their fragile, complicated sanctuary at any moment. . .
"This fresh and original novel defies easy labels. It's knowing yet vulnerable, observant yet naive--a wholly unique and compelling read." --Rachel Cohn, New York Times bestselling author
Tomas Mournian attended U.C. Berkeley. A freelance journalist, he's written articles for The San Francisco Bay Guardian, Los Angeles Magazine, OUT, In Style and Marie Claire. His investigation journalism ("Hiding Out," "Anywhere But There," and "Girls Sent to Institutions") has been recognized with awards from the Peninsula Press Club, East Bay Press Club and NCCD Pass awards, with nominations by the GLAAD Media Awards and Pulitzer. Writing under a pseudonym, his plays have been produced internationally. He held the Eli Cantor Chair at The Corporation of Yaddo and lives in Los Angeles.
There, he moves into a secret safe house shared by a group of teens. Until they become independent at eighteen, the housemates hide away from authorities, bound by rules that both protect and frustrate. Ahmed, now known as Ben, tries to adjust to a life lived in impossibly close quarters with people he barely knows, all of whom guard secrets of their own. But even if they succeed in keeping the world at bay, there's no hiding from each other or from themselves. And there's no avoiding the conflicts, crushes, loneliness, and desire that could shatter their fragile, complicated sanctuary at any moment. . .
"This fresh and original novel defies easy labels. It's knowing yet vulnerable, observant yet naive--a wholly unique and compelling read." --Rachel Cohn, New York Times bestselling author
Tomas Mournian attended U.C. Berkeley. A freelance journalist, he's written articles for The San Francisco Bay Guardian, Los Angeles Magazine, OUT, In Style and Marie Claire. His investigation journalism ("Hiding Out," "Anywhere But There," and "Girls Sent to Institutions") has been recognized with awards from the Peninsula Press Club, East Bay Press Club and NCCD Pass awards, with nominations by the GLAAD Media Awards and Pulitzer. Writing under a pseudonym, his plays have been produced internationally. He held the Eli Cantor Chair at The Corporation of Yaddo and lives in Los Angeles.
372 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
life-is-too-short
February 15, 2011OMG this book is SO annoying, I can't EVEN. FINISH. IT.
The author's writing how he thinks a kid (boi) prolly speaks, aiight, but IDK what teens he's been talking to, because it's really forced and
over
the
top
For reals.
G-D, the writing is soooooooooooo Hyperactive and Quirky it's hard to care about the characters or their (GRIM) sitch. Instead I keep thinking, WTF am I wasting my time when I could be reading something that has, IDK, actual grammar? Snap!
The author's writing how he thinks a kid (boi) prolly speaks, aiight, but IDK what teens he's been talking to, because it's really forced and
over
the
top
For reals.
G-D, the writing is soooooooooooo Hyperactive and Quirky it's hard to care about the characters or their (GRIM) sitch. Instead I keep thinking, WTF am I wasting my time when I could be reading something that has, IDK, actual grammar? Snap!
February 14, 2011
Ahmed has just escaped from a militaristic boot camp where the function of its operation is to reform homosexual youth. He was sent there by his father, who upon discovering he was gay, became intent upon curing him. Ahmed fakes a tooth ache, and his father and stepmom come to take him to a dentist. When they stop at a rest area, Ahmed makes a run for it. He has a hundred dollar bill stuffed in his tennis shoe which he’d received from his real mother as a birthday gift. He uses this to buy a bus ticket to L.A. Once in the city, he contacts a GLBT safe house where he finds refuge. The story is largely about the relationships that Ahmed makes while hiding out. He changes his name to Ben in order to conceal his identity.
Hidden was, to say the least, a shock to me as a reader. It is terribly irreverent, a thumbing of the nose at all literary rules and protocol. To be blunt, it is an editorial nightmare! The author uses thousands of fragments, incomplete thoughts, and nonsensical jargon. He writes in a choppy, staccato style, as if his thoughts are merely pouring out of his head without regard for propriety. The chapters are so ridiculously short that there are 117 of them in one 372 page novel.
So why is it that I absolutely love this story? I love it for its originality. I love the authenticity. I love the raw emotion! The prose and the dialogue were teen slang, and it felt real to me. Eventually I adapted to the unusual style and was swept away by the intensity of the emotion which was conveyed.
In the opening pages of the story I did struggle a bit with the realism of the story, or lack thereof. I’m not sure an escape such as that would be possible, but the author certainly did make me want to believe.
The depiction of the teens living in a ghetto was so painfully raw. My heart ached for each one of these youth. I fell in love with the entire eclectic group, and even after nearly four hundred pages, I was not ready for the story to end.
I also loved the fact that the author was not afraid of stereotypes. He did not paint these gay kids as if they were the type to just “blend in”. Some were outrageous. Some were trans. Some were fem. The ones you expected to be tops were bottoms! I loved that the author did not give a damn about whether or not the reader “liked” his characters. He wrote them REAL! He wrote them with delicious, believable flaws.
You won’t find a happily-ever-after, rose-colored-glasses kind of ending to this tale, but it is not a tragedy either. The reader is left with a realistic hope and with the possibility that there will be more to come. I really hope so, because I’m dying to read more about this kid. I love Ahmed, and I’m blown away by this amazing author!
Hidden was, to say the least, a shock to me as a reader. It is terribly irreverent, a thumbing of the nose at all literary rules and protocol. To be blunt, it is an editorial nightmare! The author uses thousands of fragments, incomplete thoughts, and nonsensical jargon. He writes in a choppy, staccato style, as if his thoughts are merely pouring out of his head without regard for propriety. The chapters are so ridiculously short that there are 117 of them in one 372 page novel.
So why is it that I absolutely love this story? I love it for its originality. I love the authenticity. I love the raw emotion! The prose and the dialogue were teen slang, and it felt real to me. Eventually I adapted to the unusual style and was swept away by the intensity of the emotion which was conveyed.
In the opening pages of the story I did struggle a bit with the realism of the story, or lack thereof. I’m not sure an escape such as that would be possible, but the author certainly did make me want to believe.
The depiction of the teens living in a ghetto was so painfully raw. My heart ached for each one of these youth. I fell in love with the entire eclectic group, and even after nearly four hundred pages, I was not ready for the story to end.
I also loved the fact that the author was not afraid of stereotypes. He did not paint these gay kids as if they were the type to just “blend in”. Some were outrageous. Some were trans. Some were fem. The ones you expected to be tops were bottoms! I loved that the author did not give a damn about whether or not the reader “liked” his characters. He wrote them REAL! He wrote them with delicious, believable flaws.
You won’t find a happily-ever-after, rose-colored-glasses kind of ending to this tale, but it is not a tragedy either. The reader is left with a realistic hope and with the possibility that there will be more to come. I really hope so, because I’m dying to read more about this kid. I love Ahmed, and I’m blown away by this amazing author!
April 3, 2013
I bought this book out of nostalgia in some respects as I used to work with young men with mental health problems back in the early `90s in London. Quite a few of them were gay and had lived here and there purely because they had been abandoned by their families. It was hard to know whether the mental deterioration was due to background, genes or simply being abandoned to a very indifferent world. We hear a lot about `youth' but largely as consumers or potential troublemakers. This book is like opening a door, if only for a short time, on the lives of young teenagers whose world had been suddenly forcefully taken away from them by the people who should have been looking out for their welfare. One reviewer stated that the plot was farfetched. That review was obviously written by someone who has never spoken to a social or mental health worker who could verify everything in it - and a lot more that could never be put in print. I found the writing hard to follow at times as it doesn't always follow conventional narrative prose which I'm too comfortable with. It is very immediate writing. A. Lot. Of. Full. Stops. For example and I was a bit confused on the logistics of some of the scenes but it didn't interfere too much with understanding the plot. I suppose it is less about plot than about the internal effects of what a teenager is trying to understand and cope with - events no youth should have to endure. Unless you have worked with such people it is hard to believe some parents could be so callous to their own off-spring but it isn't rare and the chances of the teenagers turning out healthy happy human beings gets less with each day they endure life in shadows. Read it if for no other reason than broadening your mind and extending your comfort zone.
August 31, 2016
A fictional expose of the consequences of reparative therapy, homelessness and abuse. Should be a must read for lgbt studies in general, and especially those who work with homeless lgbt youth.
February 10, 2011
I can already tell you right now that this review is going to be a jumble of thoughts. I finished reading Hidden just a few moments ago and I'm not even sure how to explain what is going on in my head right now. It's a blur of emotions really. Hatred. Disgust. Pure and utter sympathy. Understanding. This is one of those books that I can't even classify as a tough read. No, it's more like a necessary read that tears your heart out, gives you tons of new information you never knew you needed to know, then puts you back together into a much more whole person. Does that make any sense at all?
Although the synopsis shows the story focusing around Ahmed, and it does, there are so many more vivid characters that are presented to the reader. Ahmed, or Ben as he is known throughout most of the book, is wrenched out of his "normal" existence and placed into a treatment center for queer teens. His parents have one thought. To get him out of their lives until a "cure" for what he is can be found. When he finally finds the means of escape, he is thrown into an underground world full of people who understand him, even if they don't quite understand themselves. These characters, and their dark pasts, become a sense of introspection for Ben as he navigates his way through his new found "freedom".
Yes, this book is gritty. It's realistic. Reading it was like watching a documentary unfold. I began to believe in the characters between the pages. I rooted for them. I felt for them and wanted to understand them. I wish I could say more, but honestly Hidden is such a complex and masterful piece of work that nothing I say can truly do it justice. To say that this book touched me is an understatement of the deepest kind. I'd say instead that this book shoved my head into the reality that actual teens like Ben go through. How would I have ever known that there are safe houses set up for these teens? Or the atrocities that they are made to suffer at the hands of those that would "cure" them? I feel like my eyes are so opened now to this that it is my duty to place this books in the hands of others and have their eyes opened as well.
I cannot recommend this book enough to you, my dear readers. Be warned, the vocabulary within can be considered offensive if you're not prepared for it. This is definitely a read for the older reader, or at least one to be shared between a teen and their parents. However I can promise you that if you can get past the vocabulary, and see it as just another piece of the truth that these characters really live, you will come away feeling much like I did. I feel like I should go give Tomas Mournian a hug and thank him so much for writing this book and sharing a piece of himself. Truly.
Although the synopsis shows the story focusing around Ahmed, and it does, there are so many more vivid characters that are presented to the reader. Ahmed, or Ben as he is known throughout most of the book, is wrenched out of his "normal" existence and placed into a treatment center for queer teens. His parents have one thought. To get him out of their lives until a "cure" for what he is can be found. When he finally finds the means of escape, he is thrown into an underground world full of people who understand him, even if they don't quite understand themselves. These characters, and their dark pasts, become a sense of introspection for Ben as he navigates his way through his new found "freedom".
Yes, this book is gritty. It's realistic. Reading it was like watching a documentary unfold. I began to believe in the characters between the pages. I rooted for them. I felt for them and wanted to understand them. I wish I could say more, but honestly Hidden is such a complex and masterful piece of work that nothing I say can truly do it justice. To say that this book touched me is an understatement of the deepest kind. I'd say instead that this book shoved my head into the reality that actual teens like Ben go through. How would I have ever known that there are safe houses set up for these teens? Or the atrocities that they are made to suffer at the hands of those that would "cure" them? I feel like my eyes are so opened now to this that it is my duty to place this books in the hands of others and have their eyes opened as well.
I cannot recommend this book enough to you, my dear readers. Be warned, the vocabulary within can be considered offensive if you're not prepared for it. This is definitely a read for the older reader, or at least one to be shared between a teen and their parents. However I can promise you that if you can get past the vocabulary, and see it as just another piece of the truth that these characters really live, you will come away feeling much like I did. I feel like I should go give Tomas Mournian a hug and thank him so much for writing this book and sharing a piece of himself. Truly.
February 13, 2011
One Word: Powerful. This novel takes the reader to places they may not be ready to go. It is definitely not for the faint of heart...or cry babies like me. The characters, not just Ahmed/Ben but the secondary characters that are runaway GLBT teens are one of a kind. They are in your face, fighting for the spotlight type of characters. They refuse to be judged and they demand respect. I don't like them all but I can't help but care deeply about what happens to each of them. They each come with their own heart wrenching story.
The drugs, the sex, the abuse;it's all there. No sugar coating and glamorizing this life for these teens. The author keeps it all the way real with us readers. It shows when a teen's "coming out" can go horribly wrong. There's no long heart to heart conversation about how they're loved no matter what. We see the ugly side, where teens are sent away to be "fixed" only to get broken.
I loved that the story just continued to move. There weren't really any stagnant areas. This novel is one of the most original plots I've read in a long time. Thank you Tomas Mournian for doing your own thing. If I ever see a gay Arab I will not be shocked. I recommend this book for teens 17 and up. There is a lot of strong adult content on every page.
The drugs, the sex, the abuse;it's all there. No sugar coating and glamorizing this life for these teens. The author keeps it all the way real with us readers. It shows when a teen's "coming out" can go horribly wrong. There's no long heart to heart conversation about how they're loved no matter what. We see the ugly side, where teens are sent away to be "fixed" only to get broken.
I loved that the story just continued to move. There weren't really any stagnant areas. This novel is one of the most original plots I've read in a long time. Thank you Tomas Mournian for doing your own thing. If I ever see a gay Arab I will not be shocked. I recommend this book for teens 17 and up. There is a lot of strong adult content on every page.
March 21, 2011
This was incredible...and very disturbing since it's based on several kids' real lives. hidden is about a boy that is put into a type of "rehab" by his parents, so he won't be gay anymore. Once he escapes, he lives "underground" in San Francisco and meets many other kids in the same situation. I don't think the author intended for this to be a "teen" book, but it ultimately is. (I can think of quite a few adults that SHOULD read this, but would probably go on deaf ears.) The language and scenarios appeal more to younger people, but since I found it so damn good, hopefully other adults will, too. It's a story that needs to be told, but even more importantly, it needs to be heard.
October 15, 2011
3.5* This was a really hard book to rate. It is based on an investigative article the author, who is a journalist, did for the San Francisco Bay Guardian. It is very gritty and tough, and there is physical, sexual and emotional abuse in here, both on and off page. It follows kids who are runaways from various unbearable situations including, in the narrator Ahmed's case, a treatment center trying to turn gay kids straight with "aversive conditioning" aka torture. These kids band together in a safe-house with the goal of simply surviving until they are 18 and no longer the chattel of their parents.
The narrator's voice is great; he is bright, appropriately confused at times, a little wandering, not always sure what's real. He fights a lot of demons from his recent experiences, and deals with a group of equally varied, lonely and traumatized house-mates. And he is someone you come to really care about.
The plot seemed at times over-dramatic. In fact that was my biggest problem with the book. And yet, the author based it on his heavily-researched non-fiction piece. So is it just me being naive? Perhaps. But I think I would have connected with the story just a little more if things like the early violent scene in the bathroom hadn't been included. It made me step back in disbelief just a bit, not that these things happen but that they would happen around Ahmed/Ben on top of everything else.
The author has called the book also a love story. And Ben does find a boy he falls for, although it happens more than 2/3 of the way through the book. But if you read their relationship as a relief to the pain in the story be warned, you will be gutted in the end. So a tough read, not a reread, but one I'm glad I did tackle. And now I'll have to track down the original article. I think I want to see the non-fiction account.
The narrator's voice is great; he is bright, appropriately confused at times, a little wandering, not always sure what's real. He fights a lot of demons from his recent experiences, and deals with a group of equally varied, lonely and traumatized house-mates. And he is someone you come to really care about.
The plot seemed at times over-dramatic. In fact that was my biggest problem with the book. And yet, the author based it on his heavily-researched non-fiction piece. So is it just me being naive? Perhaps. But I think I would have connected with the story just a little more if things like the early violent scene in the bathroom hadn't been included. It made me step back in disbelief just a bit, not that these things happen but that they would happen around Ahmed/Ben on top of everything else.
The author has called the book also a love story. And Ben does find a boy he falls for, although it happens more than 2/3 of the way through the book. But if you read their relationship as a relief to the pain in the story be warned, you will be gutted in the end. So a tough read, not a reread, but one I'm glad I did tackle. And now I'll have to track down the original article. I think I want to see the non-fiction account.
September 10, 2016
Why are children born and a parent(s) are unable to accept the child and love them unconditionally. Don't take this the wrong was and not all parents are under my scrutiny, but the parents to the teens in this book are and I'm just speaking out loud, making myself heard regarding those parents that would be so cold and commit the most heinous of crimes in my eyes: Sending them to a correctional facility.
This is what happens to Ahmed. He's the one telling this story. In first person. Read about how he was yanked from his own bed. How he's tossed into this facility where the torture and torments have no limits. Neither does the brain washing these children are subjected to. Why? Because these teens are not what their parents expect of their own children to be after they've brought them into this world where it's confusing, acceptance is everything and you must be and act appropriately or else...
Because they're queer.
Ahmed escapes when the opportunity arises and brought to a safe house for other teens who have been in the same situation as Ahmed who will alter his name to conceal his identity. He will tell you about his experiences of his journey. Read about other teens he meets and interacts with. His near brush with almost getting caught and the extremes others will do to assist him with freedom till his is able to be free when he turns 18.
The ghetto lingo can make the story tricky and challenging some to follow, but don't let that deter you from reading an excellent YA story. I was too caught up in the events of this story to care.
The author notes that he would write more on Ahmed if requested. Well... I'm dayum well begging for it. The ending didn't finalize it for me and I'm feeling left with needing closure.
Two thumbs up for this one!
This is what happens to Ahmed. He's the one telling this story. In first person. Read about how he was yanked from his own bed. How he's tossed into this facility where the torture and torments have no limits. Neither does the brain washing these children are subjected to. Why? Because these teens are not what their parents expect of their own children to be after they've brought them into this world where it's confusing, acceptance is everything and you must be and act appropriately or else...
Because they're queer.
Ahmed escapes when the opportunity arises and brought to a safe house for other teens who have been in the same situation as Ahmed who will alter his name to conceal his identity. He will tell you about his experiences of his journey. Read about other teens he meets and interacts with. His near brush with almost getting caught and the extremes others will do to assist him with freedom till his is able to be free when he turns 18.
The ghetto lingo can make the story tricky and challenging some to follow, but don't let that deter you from reading an excellent YA story. I was too caught up in the events of this story to care.
The author notes that he would write more on Ahmed if requested. Well... I'm dayum well begging for it. The ending didn't finalize it for me and I'm feeling left with needing closure.
Two thumbs up for this one!
March 9, 2011
I read a review of this on a YA blog, and then looked it up to see if we'd ordered it yet. It was already in! And in my library. But cataloged for the adult section. So of course I had to read it to figure out why.
After reading it, I'm still not sure. I think it would have a lot of appeal for teens who watch drama-filled reality tv where people are forced to live with each other, read "street lit", for fans of Ellen Hopkins, fans of Push, and for GLBTQ teens & allies, and for anyone who likes reading a challenging narrator (that's vague - I'm referring to the broken up, unreliable, stream of consciousness style of the narration).
There is one sex scene, but it's no worse than the sexual abuse described in other YA books, and probably better because it describes safer sex between consenting people, and nothing terrible happens because of it (except for safe-house-resident drama, which is part of the appeal).
So. That's not a review of the book, but something I'd be curious to discuss about it. The book itself was tough to get into, mostly because of Ahmed's constant use of slang and the fact that it is stream-of-consciousness from a scared, abused teen who doesn't know what his reality is. So as a reader it's sometimes hard to figure out what the reality is. But it grew on me, and although my personal tastes sometimes cried out for something more traditional, it was fun to read (not that the subject matter was fun, but the freshness of the style was fun).
There were some typos that could have been caught. Especially using the word "whipple" for "wimple". As in, nun-wear.
After reading it, I'm still not sure. I think it would have a lot of appeal for teens who watch drama-filled reality tv where people are forced to live with each other, read "street lit", for fans of Ellen Hopkins, fans of Push, and for GLBTQ teens & allies, and for anyone who likes reading a challenging narrator (that's vague - I'm referring to the broken up, unreliable, stream of consciousness style of the narration).
There is one sex scene, but it's no worse than the sexual abuse described in other YA books, and probably better because it describes safer sex between consenting people, and nothing terrible happens because of it (except for safe-house-resident drama, which is part of the appeal).
So. That's not a review of the book, but something I'd be curious to discuss about it. The book itself was tough to get into, mostly because of Ahmed's constant use of slang and the fact that it is stream-of-consciousness from a scared, abused teen who doesn't know what his reality is. So as a reader it's sometimes hard to figure out what the reality is. But it grew on me, and although my personal tastes sometimes cried out for something more traditional, it was fun to read (not that the subject matter was fun, but the freshness of the style was fun).
There were some typos that could have been caught. Especially using the word "whipple" for "wimple". As in, nun-wear.
January 10, 2012
3.5 stars. Gripping story of a gay teenager who has been forced to undergo reparative therapy in an abusive residential 'treatment' program, and escapes to a secret safe house in San Francisco for gay and trans youth. I admit that when I first started reading, I thought "This must be set in some kind of dystopia where it's legal to do all this terrible stuff in residential 'treatment' programs, and bounty hunters are allowed to hunt down young people to return them to their abusive homes." Nope... it's set right here and right now. The author is a journalist and based the story on actual interviews with young people in secret safe houses, who have escaped actual scary "treatment" programs. That's really, really disturbing. He made a short film with a few of the interviews, which you can watch here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v8C2e...
As a mental health professional, this shit makes me want to throw up.
On to the literary: Total page-turner, and plenty of romance and sex (and even some romantic sex) along with the PTSD and angst. At times the writing became a little overwrought, although given the subject, it was hard to blame the author for that. I read this book in like two sittings, because it was just that suspenseful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v8C2e...
As a mental health professional, this shit makes me want to throw up.
On to the literary: Total page-turner, and plenty of romance and sex (and even some romantic sex) along with the PTSD and angst. At times the writing became a little overwrought, although given the subject, it was hard to blame the author for that. I read this book in like two sittings, because it was just that suspenseful.
July 1, 2023
Wanted to like this more, but the structure of the book, and some sloppy editing, interfered with what otherwise was a compelling story. Compelling, and not one which I feel is widely known. Certainly I had known of the re-programming camps which attempt to de-gay teenagers, but had not realized the flip side of that coercion, the underground railroad and safe houses of those trying to escape the bigotry of their parents (who pay big money to send their children for these unproven and dangerous procedures).
But. Turds in a toilet bowl look like dead coy fish ... What is a "coy fish"? A secretive or reserved yet dead fish? One suspects it was meant to be "koi fish" however even that is redundant, similar to saying "trout fish" or "salmon fish". I know I'm somewhat obsessive over typos and editing, but this error and several others (such as acronyms with and/or without periods), lead me to the conclusion that the book was in need of a bit more editing, and perhaps overall could have been a bit shorter. I know I just couldn't bear to read most of the kid's journal entries.
On the plus side, it still manages to convey a world of teenagers that most of us are not familiar with, and which will break your heart and warm that broken heart all at the same time.
But. Turds in a toilet bowl look like dead coy fish ... What is a "coy fish"? A secretive or reserved yet dead fish? One suspects it was meant to be "koi fish" however even that is redundant, similar to saying "trout fish" or "salmon fish". I know I'm somewhat obsessive over typos and editing, but this error and several others (such as acronyms with and/or without periods), lead me to the conclusion that the book was in need of a bit more editing, and perhaps overall could have been a bit shorter. I know I just couldn't bear to read most of the kid's journal entries.
On the plus side, it still manages to convey a world of teenagers that most of us are not familiar with, and which will break your heart and warm that broken heart all at the same time.
April 27, 2011
This book is fantastic! I especially appreciate the interview and information included at the end about safe houses for LGBT teens, which I didn't even know existed. I suppose I knew about them in theory but not in the "Underground Railroad" way which they exist today. I felt Ben/Ahmed was an exceptionally well developed character, realistic and believable in his voice and actions throughout the novel. I loved the secondary characters as well, each one unique and none of them perfect. Most of them were far from perfect. This is certainly a book for a mature teen or an adult audience, because it is such an authentic portrayal of the lives of LGBT teens who have been rejected by their families and are fending for themselves in a less than supportive world. I think it is a meaningful text which can support and empower LGBT teens, particularly those who are being abused, bullied and disempowered in their own lives. For non-lgbtq readers, this book offers a powerful insight into a real world which many people know nothing about.
Read
May 5, 2013The Kindle free sample has me hooked, but damn... more than nine bucks for an ebook. I don't have to pay that much for my favorite authors, let alone an unknown. (Received the paperback as a gift -- I still stand by my statement that ebooks shouldn't cost more than mass market paperbacks.)
hidden
Yep, it really is a lowercase title. This was the first of many things that had me shaking my head. The author used a ton of kid slang, quotes to emphasize words that didn't need emphasizing, quotes around thoughts**, text shorthand, dialog tags in awkward places, action dialog tags instead of showing the scene, minor characters that didn't seem to have a role in the story, "s/he", a fat girl that seemed as if she was only fat to mock her, a gender ambiguous character that seemed to be that way only to mock hir, a trans character... actually she wasn't bad but her part in the ending didn't make any sense.
Now, setting aside the annoying things, the theme was interesting, and I stuck with the story without much effort. I would've liked to see more addressing SR instead of burying those memories. The romantic triangle stood out more to me than SR, though I believe the story was meant to highlight the dangers of gay "cures" and runaway queer teens.
Had the execution not been so frustrating I'd probably have enjoyed it more. Though some scenes tended to be so over the top, that I had a difficult time believing in the story, or sympathizing with the MC. Speaking of the MC, he was likable and then not, and continued to flip-flop between the two. Perhaps too much, because that ending would've gone over better had the character ended likable, but .
Honestly, what was the point of the blue-eyed guy??
** (Warning: Rant Ahead) First person POV never, ever needs quotes around thoughts. Never. Actually, no POV does, but c'mon, in 1st, the prose is assumed to come from the MC. Now, the MC did magically know what other characters were feeling at in a couple of scenes, but that's just sloppy editing, not an excuse to set off his personal thoughts with quotation marks. Almost every time it happened, I assumed he was actually saying those things out loud until I stumbled and choked on a dialog tag like "I wanted to say". It caused a lot of confusion, and many paragraphs needed to be reread to figure out what was being said vs thought. (End Rant)
So long, rambling review short: The experimental writing techniques didn't work for me at all. I suspect there was a decent story in there, but sadly, the weird way this was presented robbed me from truly submerging myself in the world of the MC. My internal editor ran out of red ink, and then sobbed in the corner inconsolable.
hidden
Yep, it really is a lowercase title. This was the first of many things that had me shaking my head. The author used a ton of kid slang, quotes to emphasize words that didn't need emphasizing, quotes around thoughts**, text shorthand, dialog tags in awkward places, action dialog tags instead of showing the scene, minor characters that didn't seem to have a role in the story, "s/he", a fat girl that seemed as if she was only fat to mock her, a gender ambiguous character that seemed to be that way only to mock hir, a trans character... actually she wasn't bad but her part in the ending didn't make any sense.
Now, setting aside the annoying things, the theme was interesting, and I stuck with the story without much effort. I would've liked to see more addressing SR instead of burying those memories. The romantic triangle stood out more to me than SR, though I believe the story was meant to highlight the dangers of gay "cures" and runaway queer teens.
Had the execution not been so frustrating I'd probably have enjoyed it more. Though some scenes tended to be so over the top, that I had a difficult time believing in the story, or sympathizing with the MC. Speaking of the MC, he was likable and then not, and continued to flip-flop between the two. Perhaps too much, because that ending would've gone over better had the character ended likable, but .
Honestly, what was the point of the blue-eyed guy??
** (Warning: Rant Ahead) First person POV never, ever needs quotes around thoughts. Never. Actually, no POV does, but c'mon, in 1st, the prose is assumed to come from the MC. Now, the MC did magically know what other characters were feeling at in a couple of scenes, but that's just sloppy editing, not an excuse to set off his personal thoughts with quotation marks. Almost every time it happened, I assumed he was actually saying those things out loud until I stumbled and choked on a dialog tag like "I wanted to say". It caused a lot of confusion, and many paragraphs needed to be reread to figure out what was being said vs thought. (End Rant)
So long, rambling review short: The experimental writing techniques didn't work for me at all. I suspect there was a decent story in there, but sadly, the weird way this was presented robbed me from truly submerging myself in the world of the MC. My internal editor ran out of red ink, and then sobbed in the corner inconsolable.
January 22, 2011
WARNINGS: There is some vulgar language.
Hidden is about Ahmed aka Ben whose parents sent him away so doctors could rid him of being gay. Serenity Ridge is just awful and we learn just how awful as Ben reflects on it as he escapes.
The characters in this book were very, very unique and diverse too. There’s J.D. who’s sexy yet possibly scared of commitment. Kidd who isn’t always the nicest person. Hammer who is also sexy but Ben just doesn’t know about him. Peanuts who is a little on the crazy side and Ben isn’t too sure about his/her gender. Alice/Nayda who is quiet and talkative at the same time. Finally, there is Marci who plays mother hen.
Together these kids have to survive and try not to get sent back to whatever place from which they came. I really enjoyed Ben’s story as he lives in the safe house. It did take a bit to get used to the way the author wrote. But I think it fit and worked.
Addict's Last Words: Hidden stands out in the YA world and is sure to be a breath of fresh air.
To Buy or To Borrow: Either or. I'm glad I have it. (:
Hidden is about Ahmed aka Ben whose parents sent him away so doctors could rid him of being gay. Serenity Ridge is just awful and we learn just how awful as Ben reflects on it as he escapes.
The characters in this book were very, very unique and diverse too. There’s J.D. who’s sexy yet possibly scared of commitment. Kidd who isn’t always the nicest person. Hammer who is also sexy but Ben just doesn’t know about him. Peanuts who is a little on the crazy side and Ben isn’t too sure about his/her gender. Alice/Nayda who is quiet and talkative at the same time. Finally, there is Marci who plays mother hen.
Together these kids have to survive and try not to get sent back to whatever place from which they came. I really enjoyed Ben’s story as he lives in the safe house. It did take a bit to get used to the way the author wrote. But I think it fit and worked.
Addict's Last Words: Hidden stands out in the YA world and is sure to be a breath of fresh air.
To Buy or To Borrow: Either or. I'm glad I have it. (:
June 28, 2011
Disturbing to say the least but an excellent book. I was blown away by the behavior of some people in this world. Looking at how kids are put into situations makes me grateful for my life and my safety, as others do not have it as easy as we do.
January 20, 2012
I think it was an important story to tell, but I found the stream of consciousness writing style to be a bit distracting. Slow in places and with an abrupt ending, I was left wanting more out of it in general.
November 1, 2019
Not bad. The sentence fragments and stream of conscious moments made some parts difficult to get to.
January 11, 2015
Excellent writing, you will get drawn into the story. The bad news is that the characters have sucky lives, and you will care
I have a complicated relationship with this book. It’s about a kid that gets shipped off to a mental hospital to cure his gayness. At the hospital he is heavily medicated and abused, but eventually escapes and ends up at a ‘safe house’ in San Francisco.
Complicated because the dialog is written in the style of a heavily medicated kid. Some things are real, and some things are not. Both the reader and the protagonist have a hard time sorting things out. Some of the things in the narrative are horrendous – deaths, rapes, and other abuse. Some of it is engaging and witty. Some is romantic. It’s a clever twist by the author. While I appreciate the cleverness of the author, it makes the story hard to read. I found that I could only read a small amount at a time.
I bought into the protagonist, hook line and sinker. I cared about many of the characters and their foibles. The ending was good – our protagonist grew and we learned about love and loyalty from others.
Trigger warnings: Drug use, both the consensual recreational kind and the nonconsensual medical abuse kind. Depictions of violence, although one never knows if it’s real. Rape and other abuse. Adult situations, mostly M/M, including a very funny dialog about an on line strip show – where the stripper is doing his thing and the protagonist is trying to have a serious discussion with the stripper while the show is live. Lot’s of plot driven sexual innuendo. Gender confusion. Abuse by parents of their children.
If you have read this far, I guess your question is “Yeah, but is it any good?” Why yes it is. Tough reading, but at the end of the day, I’m glad I read the book. I’m giving it a three – I really liked the book and I recommend it to others. Why a three and not a four? The book is hard to read, mostly because the subject matter is awful. The characters are street wise, which makes them hard to deal with, and the adults (mostly ‘off screen’) are worthless individuals.
See what the author did? He engaged me fully in the life of these characters. That was good, but it’s also bad since their situation sucks.
I have a complicated relationship with this book. It’s about a kid that gets shipped off to a mental hospital to cure his gayness. At the hospital he is heavily medicated and abused, but eventually escapes and ends up at a ‘safe house’ in San Francisco.
Complicated because the dialog is written in the style of a heavily medicated kid. Some things are real, and some things are not. Both the reader and the protagonist have a hard time sorting things out. Some of the things in the narrative are horrendous – deaths, rapes, and other abuse. Some of it is engaging and witty. Some is romantic. It’s a clever twist by the author. While I appreciate the cleverness of the author, it makes the story hard to read. I found that I could only read a small amount at a time.
I bought into the protagonist, hook line and sinker. I cared about many of the characters and their foibles. The ending was good – our protagonist grew and we learned about love and loyalty from others.
Trigger warnings: Drug use, both the consensual recreational kind and the nonconsensual medical abuse kind. Depictions of violence, although one never knows if it’s real. Rape and other abuse. Adult situations, mostly M/M, including a very funny dialog about an on line strip show – where the stripper is doing his thing and the protagonist is trying to have a serious discussion with the stripper while the show is live. Lot’s of plot driven sexual innuendo. Gender confusion. Abuse by parents of their children.
If you have read this far, I guess your question is “Yeah, but is it any good?” Why yes it is. Tough reading, but at the end of the day, I’m glad I read the book. I’m giving it a three – I really liked the book and I recommend it to others. Why a three and not a four? The book is hard to read, mostly because the subject matter is awful. The characters are street wise, which makes them hard to deal with, and the adults (mostly ‘off screen’) are worthless individuals.
See what the author did? He engaged me fully in the life of these characters. That was good, but it’s also bad since their situation sucks.
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January 4, 2017I don't really know what made me put this book on my list but I'm glad I did. I have no idea why I like books about young people struggling with their sexual identity and coming to terms with prejudice and first loves, but boy do I.
The first person narrative of this book was very entertaining, I feel. The thought process of the young man while he's going through these very hard times (being sent to a facility to "fix" him, homophobic parents, being all alone on the run to save his own sanity) is incredibly funny yet still shows the heartbreak of everything.
It ends on the biggest cliffhanger in the world and I am kind of both happy and sad about that. I want to know if he finds his mother. I need to know if he saves his boyfriend from being sent back to that horrible hospital with its rapist orderlies and painful, illegal medical procedures. Ugh, I need to know more.
There was one of those little sections in that back where they give discussion topics about the book and ask the author questions and he said that there was no plans to make another book in the story but I really wish that he would.
Now that I have finished that and returned all my previous books to the library, it's time for me to really crack down on trying to read books from my own collection. I've got a lot of unread books on my shelf and I'm going to start working on them right now.
The first person narrative of this book was very entertaining, I feel. The thought process of the young man while he's going through these very hard times (being sent to a facility to "fix" him, homophobic parents, being all alone on the run to save his own sanity) is incredibly funny yet still shows the heartbreak of everything.
It ends on the biggest cliffhanger in the world and I am kind of both happy and sad about that. I want to know if he finds his mother. I need to know if he saves his boyfriend from being sent back to that horrible hospital with its rapist orderlies and painful, illegal medical procedures. Ugh, I need to know more.
There was one of those little sections in that back where they give discussion topics about the book and ask the author questions and he said that there was no plans to make another book in the story but I really wish that he would.
Now that I have finished that and returned all my previous books to the library, it's time for me to really crack down on trying to read books from my own collection. I've got a lot of unread books on my shelf and I'm going to start working on them right now.
April 14, 2011
This was a difficult read. It's depressing, weird,startling, intense, and disturbing. Waiting for the book banners to go after this one. Ahmed escapes from a camp that is supposed to make him straight but his hiding place seems to be just as bad as his former hell. He's exposed to some really bizarre housemates who are promiscuous, drug users, HIV positive,and are transvestites. All the while the bounty hunters are going to come and get him and nobody can leave the house. The book is best when he is running from a known threat-at the beginning and again in the third part of the book at Halloween. It really lags while he's in the belly of the beast in his supposed safe house. Ahmed while in hiding doesn't garner much empathy. He becomes a whiner. It's a pretty bold piece of fiction written in a teen vernacular that will shock most adults. Getting them to read it and then finish it will be a test of a book lover's love and persistence. If the author's intent was to focus on the practice of trying to "un-gay" people at these re-education/medical camps than he has succeeded. It's a novel based on real stories the author wrote as a journalist. Prepare to be shocked.
August 15, 2014
Both disturbing and entertaining, hidden is a surreal treatment of a terrible situation that many in the U.S. still find themselves subjected to: the state-sanctioned torture of gay kids that is still legal in some places and the "underground railroad" of sorts that has sprung up to help them. While Mournian's linguistic eccentricity is enjoyable, he too often wields his words with such flash and flair that the prose at times distracts from the story. He's also in sore need of a good editor, as there were quite a few rather elementary writing mistakes throughout the text (e.g. at one point one of the characters takes a final drag off of a cigarette and snuffs it out twice on the same page). Then again, even the best editors might find themselves addled and inattentive in the wake of one of Mournian's verbal flourishes. The humanness of the characters and the visceral impact of their experiences do, however, make up for many of the books artistic shortcomings, and the books chapter structure lends itself to quick reading. Not bad for a first novel.
June 2, 2011
This was a very interesting book that explores the world of underground safe houses which harbor teens who've escaped from residential treatments centers & bootcamps to "cure" them of homosexuality. It's pretty dark & raw & more than a little disturbing. The abuse these poor kids go through made me cringe & the injustice of having their freedom taken away angered me, but a very powerful emotion throughout the book is sadness & loneliness. That these kids know no love or acceptance at home is heartbreaking. They are homeless & have only these confining safe houses to stay in until they become 18. The story follows Ahmed, a 15 year old gay boy & his loneliness is palpable. It made me wish he'd have a mother to hug him, a father to guide him. Instead he has himself to rely on & he's just a kid. The book is divided into four sections: Run, Hidden, Invisible, & Gone. I liked the book but when I was done reading it I desperately needed something light & happy to read.
May 16, 2011
A very gritty YA novel based on a fictional tale of Ahmed, a gay 15 year old who is escaping from a gay treatment center. The main character is very complex which can make reading the book complicated, but he is also very real in his emotional state. The book is overflowing with unique and complex characters which at times can get confusing but does overall add to the story. There is tons of vulgar language in the book so be warned. Some of the writing style can be extremely confusing to understand. I found myself numerous times rereading to try to find out what I missed. Overall, a interesting but deep novel about gay teens and the turmoil they go through when parents/society tries to change/destroy them.
April 2, 2011
I gave this to page 89 and then threw in the towel. The main character is not likable and neither is anyone else in the book. I kept hoping for some redeeming value, but it was not forthcoming. Ahmed, the product of an American mother and an Arab father, is a runaway gay teen. His mother left years ago and now his father and his stepmother are battling him over his being gay. After a stint in a hospital that converts homosexuals, he escapes and begins an adventure. Where it ends, I don't care. P.S. See Dana's review.
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July 27, 2013Graded By: Erin
Cover Story: The Eyes Are the Window To the Soul
BFF Charm: Yes, Though It May Cost Me
Swoonworthy Scale: 10
Talky Talk: My Stream of Consciousness Has Slippery Rocks In It
Bonus Factors: Diversity, The Underground Railroad, Anita Fixx, Sex Work, Villains, But I'm a Cheerleader!
Anti-Bonus Factor: Annoying Fat Stereotypes
Relationship Status: I'll Gladly Let You Into My Safehouse
Read the full book report here.
Cover Story: The Eyes Are the Window To the Soul
BFF Charm: Yes, Though It May Cost Me
Swoonworthy Scale: 10
Talky Talk: My Stream of Consciousness Has Slippery Rocks In It
Bonus Factors: Diversity, The Underground Railroad, Anita Fixx, Sex Work, Villains, But I'm a Cheerleader!
Anti-Bonus Factor: Annoying Fat Stereotypes
Relationship Status: I'll Gladly Let You Into My Safehouse
Read the full book report here.
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September 1, 2015DNF. I downloaded this book as it was a free Audible and I wanted to try a narrated book. I read a little as well as I didn't enjoy the voice or way it was read, either way the book had the same outcome for me.
It was just irksome! I ended up rolling my eyes, wishing the main character would just get on with telling the story instead of his incessant internal and childish monologuing!
It just kind of pissed me off in the end, so yep, I got a quarter of the way through and couldn't do any more. X
It was just irksome! I ended up rolling my eyes, wishing the main character would just get on with telling the story instead of his incessant internal and childish monologuing!
It just kind of pissed me off in the end, so yep, I got a quarter of the way through and couldn't do any more. X
February 3, 2011
A really great novel, though sometimes the action scenes get muddled. I like the author's willingness to include so many different kinds of teens, and Ahmed is certainly the first non-white gay teen I've encountered in a novel since Moore's "Hero." Jam-packed with extras, too; there's an author interview and a book group guide. I just wish that the action scenes were a bit less jumbled, narratively. Recommended.
August 20, 2014
This is incredibly well written, so that you experience every turn, every event, from the mind and eyes of a teenager. It is a story of survival, amidst an often depressing and confusing reality. In addition to being a good piece of fiction, it is educational, thought provoking, and a very important work. LGBT homeless culture, and the abusive families from which they have fled, come alive in crucial and important ways here.
March 21, 2012
This really captures it all. Ahmed is sent to a place to be cured of his homosexuality. He lives through brutality abuse and nightmares. Then he escapes to a safe house in San Francisco where the middle class kid meets other kids with similiar stories. Very powerful, sometimes depressing and spellbinding. Time for a M-M romance.
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