Torn Apart

by Diony Heppler

Alyson thinks her life is perfect. Hectic and tiring, of course, but no more so than any other wife and mother of four boys. But with her husband becoming increasingly distant, Alyson wonders if there s something she s doing wrong. Little does she know that the actions of someone she loves dearly are about to change her life forever.

Alyson never imagined it could happen to her, and when it did, she realized it could happen to anyone . . .

Based on a true story, Torn Apart is a heartrending inside look at how pornography can rip families apart and shatter the lives of everyone involved. This growing problem can infect any family and often goes unnoticed for years.

Full of heartache and courage, Torn Apart provides hope for those affected by pornography by showing that, through God s love, even this devastating addiction can be overcome.

Genres: Nonfiction, Lds

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2009

About the author

Diony Heppler (RN, BSN) has been writing books for over fourteen years. Nonfiction is her favorite genre to write, especially when it builds connections in relationships and strengthens faith in God.

She believes personal growth comes from facing and overcoming hard things, and when we share our life journey with others in openness and vulnerability we create a stronger community of survivors.

Diony grew up in Alaska but has lived in several states in the U.S. and overseas. She enjoys traveling, hiking, reading, and baking, but mostly just loves spending time with her husband, recent co-author and best friend -Trent Heppler, their children, and their grandchildren.

Reviews

[Tristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Torn Apart” is a novelization of the author’s own experiences as a young wife who finds out that her husband has been indulging in pornography. Using the character name of “Alyson,” we go with her as she meets and marries Jared, the man of her dreams, only to discover little things about him as they go along. She didn’t know he’d come home early from his mission for the LDS Church, and she didn’t know he’d been involved with a sister missionary from his area.

His addiction leads him into more dangerous behavior until he’s cheating on Alyson with one of her best friends, flirting with the neighbor across the street, and receiving love letters from a woman in his military unit. Through all this, Alyson wants to believe he’ll change, but he’s too deeply mired in the pit. His ex-communication from the Church and their divorce are both deeply painful, but they are markers along the path to Alyson’s eventual healing and finding a man she can truly be happy with.

Knowing this is a true story, and having great respect for everything the author has gone through, I feel a little hesitant to say anything critical about the book. I did find it very insightful and engrossing—in fact, I received my copy this morning and finished it tonight. However, there were a few things I would have liked to see.

First, as the book is written largely to help us understand the very real threat of pornography and the influence it has on our families and the lives of our children, I would have liked to see more of the children’s reactions to their parents’ divorce. They almost seemed a little “too” okay with it. Second, as Alyson meets Andrew, the man who will be there for her in ways Jared could not, I wanted to see a little more romance and a little more evidence that he really was a good guy. The last portion of the book dealt quite a bit with menu plans, meal preparation, and visiting with relatives, and I wanted to see less of that and more of the budding romance. I also wanted to see Alyson and Andrew have a very frank discussion about what she’d been through.

These small suggestions aside, I think this book is a valuable addition to the LDS market. Pornography is eating away at our homes and the more knowledgeable we can become about it, the better armed we will be to fight it.

(This book was published in 2009 by Bonneville Books.)

[Lacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow. This book gave some major insight, on a such a terrible thing that happens in real life. This book caught my attention because it is something that is so real, something that happens more often then one might think, and it happens to those who say "That would never happen to me". I could NOT believe some of the things the husband did. It was amazing to me how much he could justify what he was doing, and how the guilt drove him to think he would never have to tell anyone. I would recommend this book, but only to certain people. It was a little difficult because it tried to cram 14 years into 240 pages, and so it would jump time spans pretty fast. But it definatley hit the major point. Of course reading it from our perspective you could see all the warning signs of the husband, and I tend to think "Why doesn't she just leave?" But, she didn't know the things then, that she knew when she wrote the book.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am about to finish this book (down to the last few pages) and I have got to say I am impressed. Yes, it deals with a romance, but it is not like many of the LDS books out there. This is based on actual events (although it never says for sure, in the author's life) when her husband turns out to be something he's not. He is addicted to pornography and repeatedly cheats on his wife.

I don't know if it is because it doesn't have the typical boy-meets-girl story plot, but this is a great book for those who want an LDS story that isn't the norm.

[Jodi Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met the author of "Torn Apart" yesterday at a writer's conference. Diony George is a gem! This book took courage to write and it is a story that will help shed light on how pornography addiction affects families. It is based on a true story--her story--and from what I can tell it will help build an awareness of the ever growing problem of pornography. Great to know you, Diony!

[Tiffany · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was like a bad Anita Stansfield novel. About twice as long as it needed to be, with irrelevant details about the character's lives that just made me wonder when it was going to end. Also, it was sad. I don't need any help being depressed, and therefore prefer books with uplifting messages!!

[Rozelle Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

An eye-opening and heart wrenching story that ends on a note of hope.

[Betsy Aker]

This is an amazing book that depicts the struggle of a wife who’s husband is addicted to pornography. The writing is simple. I felt so bad for this lady and wanted her to be happy so badly. It’s set in a Mormon family-temple marriage setting so that hit close to home for me. I highly recommend

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

First part-- the decline of her marriage much better written than the second half -- finding someone new

[Shanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall: 3.5 stars/5 stars. Review also posted here: http://ldswbr.blogspot.com/2010/07/to...

Torn Apart is based on a true story. The author’s story, in fact. Knowing this made reading Torn Apart something of an unusual experience for me.

First, it made me respect the author for being willing to put her story out there for everyone to read. I’m positive that was not an easy thing to do.

Second, it’s one thing to read a person’s own words telling their story in a nonfiction format like an autobiography, another thing entirely to read a fictionalized version. I found myself wondering how much of the detail in Alyson’s story was actual experience and what was added to the story. In the end, though, it doesn’t really matter as much as the fact that what both Alyson and the author experienced was heartbreaking.

Alyson is young and impressionable when she meets her husband. Warning signs were present, but nobody recognized them or knew what they meant until it was too late. With four boys keeping her busy, Alyson doesn’t put together what is going on until the truth is undeniably staring her in the face. Once she does, though, her world is shattered. Each new discovery of what was happening during her marriage gets worse and worse.

Despite everything that happened to her, Alyson retained a certain strength that helped her through her trials. A timely online connection could lead her to happiness again, if she can trust him with her heart.

At the end of the book, the author includes a list of warning signs that could potentially point to pornography addiction. Torn Apart is just one story out of thousands that could be told about the families who have been hurt by addiction to pornography.


My rating:

Overall: 3.5 stars/5

For the author’s efforts to help make others aware of the devastating consequences of pornography addiction, I give 5 stars. While the first half of the book had me interested and turning pages, the storytelling in the last half didn’t really pull me in as much. When Alyson and the new love interest were exchanging emails, the pace of the story dropped significantly and I skimmed several pages until the flow picked up again.


Would I:

read it again? Possibly
recommend it? Yes
read more by the author? Yes

[Beth Pearson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subject matter of the book--a wife who finds out her husband is addicted to pornography--is timely and something that is happening more and more in our society. I agree with the author who says that pornography is NOT something to be taken lightly or with a Boys will be Boys attitude. It is seriously addicting and very destructive.

This book is based on the author's own personal story and the fact that it took the wife forever to figure out what was going on is probably what happened to George in real life too. However, I was annoyed at how clueless and gullible one woman could be. It wasn't even like she was clueless---she had lots of clues and lots of "bad feelings" that something wasn't right, but seemed to prefer to stay ignorant of what the truth was in order to not lose her marriage to the reality that I expected her to see way before she did.

The story of how everything came to be was actually intriging for me. I had a hard time putting the book down. I definitely wanted to see what happened next.

This book could really use a good editor! There were so many details of things that did not matter at all. The 244 pages could have probably been cut in half--or at least a third--by taking out all the blow by blow details. I could have easily skipped knowing she got in the car, put on her seatbelt, adjusted the mirrors, fumbled for the right key, and on and on and on unless there was going to be a car accident or something later where it would be important to remember she DID have her seatbelt on. There were way too many of these details, way too often, and instead of making me feel like I was "right there", it annoyed me at all the filler that didn't matter at all. Why can't you simply drive home without having every description of exactly how it happened?

Whining aside, the story is worth telling.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book sparks good discussions. After reading it, I talked to my husband about pornography and why he didn't get involved in it as a kid and what we can do to prevent our 3 boys from getting involved. The story in Torn Apart is interesting in how there were warning signs, but the author didn't know that she should look for them and what they meant. It was interesting how she often forgave him or accepted his "story" about what really happened until she couldn't deal with the wondering any longer. You could tell there were a lot of good years for this couple. It is sad that they weren't as good as they could have been and that the husband didn't get the help he needed when they first went to a counselor about the pornography she found.

I hate to say anything negative about a book whose subject matter is so important, but the writing style that was used was very choppy and annoying. Sometimes there was so much detail about something that I thought, okay, something is going to happen here. But nothing does and we read how the waitress filled their glasses twice and the details of how she made breakfast or macaroni and cheese or cleaned up, for no reason. It doesn't help the story , it's just fluff. I'd much rather read in more detail about how the husband ended up where he was, and how she came to trust another man so easily and what her oldest son felt about and learned about the whole thing. I think the author just needed a better editor.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

a must read for every married couple. It may not be that you have faced the problem of pornography personal but to be aware of the signs and destruction and havic that it leads in its wake are essential to stopping it. This author is amazing to first having lived and risen above her experience and then to share her story must have been difficult but freeing. Alyson was married young and was in the dark as to her husbands addiction to porn. He was a smooth talker and always could explain away all evidence when Alyson got suspicious, but eventually things became all too clear when not only he was caught in his own lies, but they were in financial ruin. They divorce and Alyson tries to put together some order for her 4 boys. She meets Andrew on a online for single LDS people and the good feelings start and don't stop after they get to know each other better. The distance from Alaska to Salt Lake don't even pose a problem. There is a good ending to this true story, if only they all turned out that way.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

**Spoiler Alert**
This is the true story of an LDS woman (a former model, too) whose marriage and family were torn apart by her husband's porn addiction and all the accompanying lies, though she didn't know till much later that this was the underlying problem to (her misery) his "wall," his abusive behavior, his affairs, and finally the prostitute...but she survives it all with prayer, divorces him (and then he actually dies in a plane crash!), and meets a new man to whom she's now been happily married for 10 years and explains the difference as "night and day." Poor writing--I didn't stop rolling my eyes during the romance chapters, but I also didn't stop reading as the story itself is compelling and one that needs to be told. She added vignettes from her former husband's point of view which helped the reader to understand this addiction and have sympathy for him as well.

[Spring Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the second book in the last year that I have read where the story is based on the author's life. I just don't like this style of book. When I think a character is doing something stupid in a book, I can yell at them (figuratively), but when it is a "real" person, I don't know how to react. I want to find them and shake them and say "Look this is not good and you need to fix it!" But it is their "real" life and they don't need me telling them what to do. Plus, their "happy" endings don't always seem so happy and have left me wondering if they are really happy and doing good now.

Aside from all that, I really admire the courage it took Diony to write this book and open up her life like that. What a horrible and devastating thing to go through.

[Polly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this was a good book and would be helpful to many. But I think like so many other lds author, at least for me, she seems to gloss over things. Yes, she had true heartache, I don't doubt that and how wonderful it is that she ended up with such a wonderful happy ending. But for so many involved in this problem called pornography, they do not see a happy ending for a very long time and the effects are so long lasting. (years and years) If anyone wants to read a good book about the effects of pornography you should read, "Heal My Broken Heart". This book is written by two women who also have lived the life of pornography in their spouses. Pornography is truly a family and home destoyer and I would hope and pray that it would never happen to anyone.

[Samantha · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book did a good job of describing the emotions that one goes through when dealing with this sort of situation. However, often while reading this I wondered if this was written by Judy Bloom. This book although dealing with adult content seemed to be written for a much younger audience. Furthermore, the main character has little depth and cannot adequately explain why she would subject herself to such treatment for so long. In life, things get complicated, but this character needs a nuclear bomb as a wake up call. FINALLY the character moves on and ...it takes her 1 magical month to find a new true love. Come on.
This book is sappy, crappy, unrealistic and I can't tell who the audience is. This is a serious subject and should be addressed as such.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not enjoy the writing style... too many mundane details that had nothing to do with the story. I did however appreciate the author sharing her life's trials with others so that others may gain insight from her experiences. Pornography addiction is real and so utterly destructive! I have seen this affect those I love and the damage is so far-reaching. One thing I did not like about this story is the seemingly quick fix of divorce. I am glad she has a "happy ending" , however I felt she did not nearly portray the despair that comes with dealing with addictions.

[Jennie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Novels based on the author's real life experience such as this often touch on an important issue, but the author is so concerned with telling it the way it really happened, he/she loses sight of what makes a good novel. Though I could feel great sympathy for the author, but not necessarily for her character, I found it poorly written and encompassed too many issues that weren't adequately linked to the pornography issue. A critique group or a good editor might have fixed some of the problems,

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an eye opener for me. I have always known that pornography is evil and tears families apart. But this perspective was real. The author based this book on her own marriage and her husband's addiction to pornography. It broke my heart to realize how many families suffer because of this disease. I can understand why the church is fighting so hard against this and is always counseling people to stay away from it.

[Dorry Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a powerful book on pornography and how it destroys lives. It is based on the true life of the author and I wondered many times why it took her so long to realize what was happening to their married life.
I did feel she drug a lot of it out that was not that important. However for the most part it held your attention and made you feel fortunate if you do not have that in your life.

[Katie (hiding in the pages) · Rating 2 out of 5]

A heart wrenching story of a woman who's life (and marriage) is torn apart from the effects of her husband's pornography addiction. It's based on the author's own experience. I know it's out there and it's definitely an issue in our society, I just don't like sad stories.

[Becca Secor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered a few things that made my husband make more sense to me - the way things feel to him.... The outcome was uplifting too. I don't know very many people who have made it "through" this. They are either stuck in it - or divorced from it.

[Janel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not love the writing style and all the mundane details that were included, but the subject matter was very informative and eye-opening. You can't help feel sorry for all the women out there that suffer from similar circumstances.

[Haley Freeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opened my eyes to the power of pornography. I couldn't read fast enough to find out what happened next. It's based on a true story which I think makes it even more gripping. It's a must read for everyone!

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars on the impact and timeliness of the story. I wanted to see more story and character development, but that's usually the case with a first-time author.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good. It gave some insights into what can happen when people don't live the way they should.

[Stacy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The summary of the book is deceiving to me and so I was expecting a different outcome from this book which would have made it a lot better and that's why I give it a 2.

[Ines · Rating 4 out of 5]

What the book lacked in writing quality, was made up ten-fold by the interesting, sad, but true story.

[Tj · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of this really personally related to me, however it was a little annoying to read due to the excessive details of mundane things.

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an ok read. Just interested because it was based on a true story. Sad how the family was torn apart.