If you're a parent of one of the more than one million children in this country with obsessive-compulsive disorder, you know how confusing, even frightening, the symptoms of OCD can be. You're terrified of losing your child and angry about the havoc this disorder has wreaked in your family. More than anything, you want to be able to unlock the secrets of OCD, understand the cause of your child's bizarre symptoms, and help your child break free of these disruptive, relentless thoughts and actions.
In her landmark book, Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder , Dr. Tamar E. Chansky creates a clear road map to understanding and overcoming OCD based on her successful practice treating hundreds of children and teenagers with this disorder. In Part I, Dr. Chansky "cracks the code" of the peculiar rules and customs of OCD -- the handwashing, tapping, counting, and so forth. She explains how OCD is diagnosed, how to find the right therapist partner, and how to tailor treatment options to your child's needs. You'll learn how powerful behavioral modification can be and when medication can help. In Part II, you'll learn how not to be pulled in by your child's debilitating rituals at home or at school, how to talk to your child about the "brain tricks" OCD causes, and how to create an effective OCD battle plan that will empower your child to "boss back" the OCD monster. You'll also learn how to cope in moments of crisis.
Part III offers specific advice for how to help your child handle the most common manifestations of OCD such as fears of contamination, checking, getting things "just right," intrusive thoughts, and more. Part IV is an indispensable guide to additional resources, including books, videos, organizations, and websites.
Filled with Dr. Chansky's compassionate advice and inspiring words from the many children with OCD whom she has helped, this book will be your lifeline. Battling back from OCD is hard work, but with the comprehensive, proven guidance in this book, you can help your child reclaim a life free from its grip.
I've mentioned before on Good Reads that I have a child who has OCD (in a few of the other reviews I've done on OCD related books). This book was helpful in many ways. It is very thorough and addresses in depth the most common types of OCD, the best forms of treatments, medications, etc.
What I like most about this book is that it is geared towards parents and families. Two thirds of the book talk about how you can help them at home--the parent's role and good parenting skills for those with OCD. It even talks about how to take care of yourself (the parent) as a parent of someone with OCD! That was like a little breath of fresh air--just reading the acknowledgement that YES, it can be very hard at times to take care of, help and live with a child with OCD.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with a child suffering from OCD. I have referred to it many times in trying to come up with ways to help our child and sometimes to just stay afloat!
I started reading this to help my 10 year old, who I thought had OCD, but turns out it’s actually my 8 year old who is struggling! I got some great tips that I started implementing today and I can tell it’s really going to help her overcome her fears and gain control of her life again. She’s scared but receptive to the plan we made.
Very helpful and informative for parents struggling with this issue. I am so glad that my son's therapist recommended it, giving me broader base of information and answering a lot of questions without needing to use up precious therapy time. I am so thankful for this book. Also, my son is doing so much better than he was a few months ago. Thanks go mostly to his therapist, but this book was a big part of his success as well. Reading it slowly over several months gave me a chance to slowly digest the information and compare it with his own experiences.
Wonderful resource about OCD for parents and teachers. The first half of the book is more a description of OCD, but the second half reads like a user guide for a parents. It gives phrases to say to your child and suggestions for teachers on how to make adaptations in the classroom (although the book is mostly geared toward parenting).
Interesting things I may want to remember:
1. OCD thoughts are like junk mail from the brain. Compulsions are a brain trick. OCD makes you think that you have to do them. Don't fall for the trick, take control. 2. OCD is a loop, the more that you do it, the more that you need to. You have to change that route in your brain. Break the cycle. 3. You can not control your thoughts. You can always control your behavior. Keep at it, the bad feeling will pass. Remember that the OCD is like a hiccup in your brain. 4. PANDAS OCD has a quick onset, Non-strep OCD comes on gradually. 5. OCD children can have separation anxiety disorder which can cause clingy behavior, crying upon separation, difficulty sleeping alone, nightmares. 6. Four steps to break the brain tricks, relabel, do the opposite of the OCD warning, boss back the OCD, refocus on what you want to be doing, remember why you hate ocd 7. Explanation for teens (pretend one of your teachers tells you in the middle of class that there is a fire, but there is no smoke, no alarm, no sign of fire. Your OCD is the same, it sets off a false warning) 8. In dealing with children with OCD: inflexibility + inflexibility=meltdown also the goal is not to stop the outburst, it's to slow it down, do not add fuel to the "fire" 9. For reducing checking; establish your purpose for being there, is OCD making you? Decide how many times you are going to check and reduce over time. Put up signs to remind you, no checking here! examples: choose a door you won't check, leave a school book at home, allow yourself to only edit the paper twice, etc... 10. Boss back the disease phrases to use; this isn't Simon Says, I'm doing it my way, Just-right isn't as important as being free, you are a brain hiccup, don't tell me what to do. 11. If a child has to do something a certain number of times, gradually reduce the number or instead list favorite colors etc.. 12. Tips for teachers; focus on child's strengths and make sure all students are included, allow child to leave class early to avoid germs in hallway passing times, give child a second set of books for home, allow child the first to pass out papers, give them free reign to use the bathroom, reduce the amount of work to be completed, set a time limit and have children work until time is up, reduce writing time or use computer, don't give open-ended creative writing assignments, have child read aloud, use a colored card to cover up lines already read, shorten reading assignments, have child cross out what she has read with black marker so she can not go back and reread, use untimed tests, allow test location accommodations, change format of tests, allow multiple choice instead of short answer, allow child to check answer instead of fill in circle, allow child to do every other problem, break down long term assignments into manageable chunks.
This book was a life saver for my family! It gave me the tools to help my child successfully navigate her OCD.
She was diagnosed at 3 years old (she was very advanced for her age) and at the time we couldn’t find a therapist/psychologist that would see someone her age. OCD was taking over our life… so I started reading anything and everything I could to help her… and that’s when I came across this book… out of all of the books I read, this was the one that made the biggest impact in our journey. My daughter is now 9 years old, and we haven’t dealt with OCD in almost 2 years, solely because of the tools this book has given me and my daughter.
This is a good read for parents who's children suffer with OCD or OCD-related issues. OCD is a hard thing to experience first hand and to watch someone you love struggle with, but this book provides some hope, practical tools, knowledge, and ideas to help parents support their children.
I read this as a clinician and found it very helpful as I work with teens and parents to support a new way of being and introducing age-appropriate guidance for kids/teens.
Lots of books on OCD are too technical to be really useful to parents. This one is a broad attempt to address the range of issues that parents need to know -- from the biology of OCD to the medications. But even though it's broad, it also goes into enough depth, and maintains a compassionate and practical tone throughout. I highly recommend this book for parents of children with OCD.
This book had a lot of good, helpful, detailed information on OCD and how to help your child. Though, it focuses mostly on “classic” OCD that you can see, and only had one chapter on internal OCD which is what sounds most like my child. There was also a lot of repetition. A good resource for many, I’m sure, but more of a starting point for me.
A very comprehensive read that takes you from learning about and diagnosing your child's OCD to the different medications to ERP therapy and why they work and how fast to expect improvements.
Part 2 is called 'The Parent's Role'. Chansky has parents sometimes being a co-therapist (for young children) to letting the child/teen be in charge of the OCD homework.
The parents section is really interesting and helpful when working with a therapist to help your child manage OCD. It's also a good read if you are the one with OCD because there are lots of examples and anecdotes and reminders that are great to remember as adults too.
Section 3 goes into detail about the specific types of OCD: Contamination fears, checking, counting, redoing obsessions, doubting your own senses , having to be 'just right'- ordering, counting, hoarding, symmetry; and intrusive thoughts and imagined impulses like: scrupulosity, sexual thoughts or thoughts of harming others.
Finally there's advice on how to deal with frustrated siblings, the school and society at large.
I've read many books now on OCD and expected this to be basically a review of what I knew. I was pleasantly surprised with all the information, stories and help Dr. Chansky gives to parents and those struggling with OCD in their lives or families.
Some quotes from the book:
p8: OCD is an intrusion, a brain hiccup. It is different from your child's voluntary thoughts but he doesn't know that. All thoughts are created equal, so we all think, unless we are told otherwise. While thoughts of the mind are welcome messages, OCD brain hiccups are junk mail, but because they happen in English, we think we need to listen to them, understand them. The more we try to figure out wheat they are saying and why, the more we are being pulled into their trap.
p.92: It is very difficult to cope with a chronic condition (OCD). So how do we live with this perpetual uncertainty? We don't spend all of our time noticing it. Let's say your child is afraid of dogs. We work on his dog phobia and he is no longer afraid. Is that because all the dogs in the world 'went away' and never came back? No, the dogs are there, but your child learned to ignore them and live his life. This is the change that happens in OD: The thoughts may reappear from time to time, but if you don't respond to them in the way OCD tells you to, they don't constrict your life. Your child will not have to go through exactly the same things again because she will have won back territory for OCD. l Recognizing its signs and armed with strategies to fight back, she can't be tricked in the same way again.
p107: Behavior therapy teaches your child that OCD is a false alarm, a bully in your brain bossing your around, and the way to get rid of OCD is by 'show and tell'. Show it that your are in charge by doing what you want, not what it wants, then tell OCD to back off and leave you alone. Behavior therapy provides planned opportunities for your child to see that he can control his actions.
p.108: There are 6 basic components in behavior therapy to take control of OCD: 1. Re-label the problem as a bad guy bossing you around. 2. Do the opposite of the OCD warnings (show). 3. Boss back the OCD (tell.) 4. Refocus on what you want to b doing instead of having symptoms. 5. Define the motivation for treatment: What I hate about OCD. 6. Determine the parents' role in treatment.
p.111: ...when your child says to the OCD, 'You are junk mail, you're not real, so stop bossing me around!"..[it] will help him feel empowered and mad, rather than scared and trapped.
p, 139: Let the child set the pace of treatment. If a child feels you are in charge of her recovery she may rebel or feel overwhelmed.
p.139: a bad day doesn't negate the progress made, just like a bad move on the sports floor doesn't mean you're penalized for the rest of your life.
p.152: Let their triumph's be THEIR triumph! Say ' I'm proud of your had work' not 'Finally!, I couldn't have taken it another day!
p. 226: OCD creates a crisis. It's time consuming. It's added to a normal life. [Parents] need to conserve energy- take a 'just say no' policy to extra time commitments.
p. 226: No shoulding like: I should have a cleaner house, I should do PTA.... Parents need some hobbies and activities to be happy in.
p. 249: 'What I learned is that sometimes the way to fix the problem [a contaminated item] is to make it too big to fix'. -Tara
p. 264: the 'incomplete' circuits continue to fire even after the job is done. The feeling of satisfaction that normally follows a competed action ( like the feeling you get when you finish that jigsaw puzzle) never comes.
This is my current favorite book, because it saved my sanity. My eight-year-old son has obsessive compulsive disorder, and after I had spent more money than I'd like to admit on a psycho-therapist who didn't help, my son was driving me and every one else in the family (including himself) batty, and had been for several months. I was getting calls from the school nurse about his cracked and bleeding hands, and his penmanship at school was going down the tubes because he wouldn't touch his paper (it was contaminated). I had people tell me that the only real treatment is anti-depressant drugs. Then I thought I was going to have to drive out of town to find a child psychiatrist since there are none closer than an hour away, but I would have to wait about four months to get an appointment. I found out, finally, that the best treatment for OCD is behavior therapy, but, unfortunately, few doctors are trained in it. So I went to the library and found this amazing book. I know I sound like one of those corny testimonials for the Ginsu knife, but this book fixed everything in less than a week. I couldn't believe it. Last week my son was constantly anxious and unhappy because he just couldn't get clean, woke up crying in the middle of the night because he was sure his sheets were contaminated (his feet had touched them), washed hands, wrists, and arms continuously until we forced him to stop. This week he is relaxed, happy, and blissfully unconcerned about germs, though he still washes enough to be healthy. The best thing about this book is that it teaches kids how to talk back to their OCD so they can deal with all the inevitable future compulsive behaviors. I didn't even have time to read the entire book yet, but I'm going to be buying this book--both for myself and for the next time OCD assaults my kid in a new way. We'll be armed and ready. It's so nice when you can get the psychological help you need for the cost of a library card. I just wish I'd found it a long time ago.
Focuses on behaviors relating to fears and anxiety i.e. contamination or bed time rituals.
Three part plan of action: Tool number 1: How to explain obsessive compulsive disorder to your child Tool number 2: The concept of relabeling changes everything Labeling OCD as the bad guy, not your child, have your child decide how to refer to it Tool number 3: A communication system Developing a dialogue to the obsessive voice allows your child to overcome it i.e. "I'm the boss, I'm going to do what I want."
Putting it together: 1) Reflect on what your child is feeling 2) Relabel the problem as OCD 3) Resist OCD with Show and Tell - show it who's boss, and tell it who's boss 4) Refocus on preferred activity 5) Reinforce your child's efforts at fighting - "You bossed that back", "You are going to win this battle", "You handled that situation really well"
Guidelines for parents/coaches: - Do listen seriously to your child's fears, frustrations and distress - Accept that these fears are real to your child - Acknowledge what you hear - Don't try to talk your child out of these fears - Don't make fun of these fears - Don't compare your child's reactions to others' - Let your child choose the goal for the week - Freedom comes from untangling step by step, not by obliterating the enemy - Freedom comes from pointing out the other path - Make distinctions between your child and the symptoms - Distinguish OCD symptoms from your child's thoughts - Externalize OCD by giving it a name - Help your child relabel what's going on as an OCD moment with choices - Don't work out a plan in the moment
*Very* informative & helpful with concrete suggestions for handling those crazy OCD situations which are apparently common.
There are some formatting oddities where there should be headings for new topics but there aren't, so it's easy to get confused if you aren't paying attention.