What do you think?
Rate this book
Bernice Summerfield: Virgin New Adventures #16
Beige Planet Mars
Surrounded by death on Mars, Bernice and her errant ex-husband Jason must solve a murder and unmask a traitor to save millions of lives threatened by a forgotten horror.
242 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 1998
68 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 26, 2023
An irreverent, gently paced (until the finale) romp around Mars as Bernice Summerfield attempts to juggle an overdue unwritten speech with a murder investigation. There’s a feeling of wanting to highlight all the tropes of the book series in this one, but frustratingly few better ideas than just doing all the tropes again. The wit does give way to a very exciting last act, and overall it’s an enjoyable, if uneven and arguably slight addition.
November 26, 2025
3.5*
I had the honour of meeting the wonderful Lance Parkin at Gally one a few years ago, and we are mutual friends on social media. He has been really supportive of my own Benny story Dead and Breakfast and I have always enjoyed his writing, and his wonderful story telling.
I really enjoyed this book and for me, it was the first proper introduction to Mr Saldaamir! I have known about this character for some time, so I have been dying to read his first appearance and I am eager to read the Gallifrey chronicles soon for more lore between him and Ulysses.
Back to the book.
Benny is invited to do a lecture on Mars at an old hotel. There are two conferences happening at the same time, the archaeology one and the one for veterans. I really enjoyed getting to know more about Professor Trinity (spoilers) and her relationship with Benny. I also enjoyed getting to know Seez and Soaz who were two characters in the book who helped Benny to solve the mystery of YorkCorp.
Also the fact Lance Parkin wrote this book in SIX WEEKS is pretty damn impressive, considering how much it has packed in it.
Jason Kane still annoys me with how he treats Benny, although he was written slightly better than how he is usually written by Dave Stone. I liked how most of the other characters seem to have similar thinking to I do about him though, lol.
Over all, very enjoyable.
I had the honour of meeting the wonderful Lance Parkin at Gally one a few years ago, and we are mutual friends on social media. He has been really supportive of my own Benny story Dead and Breakfast and I have always enjoyed his writing, and his wonderful story telling.
I really enjoyed this book and for me, it was the first proper introduction to Mr Saldaamir! I have known about this character for some time, so I have been dying to read his first appearance and I am eager to read the Gallifrey chronicles soon for more lore between him and Ulysses.
Back to the book.
Benny is invited to do a lecture on Mars at an old hotel. There are two conferences happening at the same time, the archaeology one and the one for veterans. I really enjoyed getting to know more about Professor Trinity (spoilers) and her relationship with Benny. I also enjoyed getting to know Seez and Soaz who were two characters in the book who helped Benny to solve the mystery of YorkCorp.
Also the fact Lance Parkin wrote this book in SIX WEEKS is pretty damn impressive, considering how much it has packed in it.
Jason Kane still annoys me with how he treats Benny, although he was written slightly better than how he is usually written by Dave Stone. I liked how most of the other characters seem to have similar thinking to I do about him though, lol.
Over all, very enjoyable.
October 22, 2025
I had quit a few laughs with this title, more than I expected from the buzz online. I'd go so far as to say it was one of the better New Adventures I've read (an unfortunately short list). Bennie is well realized as are most other characters. The ending is just a bit weak, and the soft core porn aspects might rub some the wrong way.
January 8, 2022
A very funny tale, with alien porn and do-gooders making a pickle of everything. Not much Ice Warrior action, and the central conceit of people not recognising their historic traitor was a bit lame, but otherwise an entertaining read.
Read
May 17, 2018Great story, breakneck pace, vivid characters. Felt a bit rushed at the end and the wrap-up was too short but very good overall.
August 7, 2017
Did not Finish, I made it to page 122. I started this book 2 months ago. It's got good descriptive writing and an intriguing world set on Mars with the wars in it's past and how it develops. I'm just not invested enough in the characters, plot, or setting to keep me reading it. My mind wandered too much while reading it, and there was nothing pulling it back to it after I've put it down.
April 17, 2016
http://nwhyte.livejournal.com/2645391.html
I really liked this, and I write as one who has often bounced off Lance Parkin's work (and sometimes Mark Clapham's). Mars, whose history was the foundation of Bernice Summerfield's early career, has become both a home for the elderly (due to low gravity) and a centre of commemoration (due to war). Benny gets involved with dangerous investigations into what really happened, complicated by a rekindling of affection for her disreputable ex-husband and various strange individuals each with their own agenda. There is even a sentient computer which failed to annoy me as they usually do. I must have been in a good mood when reading it.
I really liked this, and I write as one who has often bounced off Lance Parkin's work (and sometimes Mark Clapham's). Mars, whose history was the foundation of Bernice Summerfield's early career, has become both a home for the elderly (due to low gravity) and a centre of commemoration (due to war). Benny gets involved with dangerous investigations into what really happened, complicated by a rekindling of affection for her disreputable ex-husband and various strange individuals each with their own agenda. There is even a sentient computer which failed to annoy me as they usually do. I must have been in a good mood when reading it.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews