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356 pages, Paperback
First published September 6, 1999
All I wished for was to be part, if but a millionth, of the massing, and that I pass through with something more than a life of gestures. And yet, I see now, I was in fact a critical part of events, as were K and the other girls, and the soldiers, and the rest ... indeed, the horror of it was how central we were. How ingenuously, and not, we comprised the larger processes, feeding ourselves, and one another, to the all-consuming engine of the war.
“One of the characters, I believe it's Sunny, says, 'You lead a life of gestures.' What she means by that is that he's always there for protocol and decorum rather than saying the thing that needs to be said or doing the thing that needs to be done: to say no in a certain instance, and not to be involved in something horrible, not to implicate himself, and not to always try to assimilate and compromise. That's one of the things that he's figuring out about the way in which he's run his life, which has been a complete mode of gestures and politeness--but politeness to an extreme."
“One of the things that was very difficult as I wrote this book is that I didn't connect with him either. He's a very difficult sort of person and he's very frustrating. By the end, my wife and editor will tell you, I hated him because you have to sit with him all day and the ways in which he constructs friendships, and his memory--it's maddening. Yes, he has likable aspects and it's clear that people see him and like him. That was one of the most difficult things about writing this book. It's not just the sort of character he is, but he's the only one telling you the story, in first person. I had to find a way to get around him a lot of the time."
For it is the vulnerability of people that has long haunted me: the mortality and fragility, of the like I witnessed performing my duties in the war, which never ceased to alarm, but also the surprisingly subject condition of even the most stolid of men's wills during wartime, the inhuman capacities to which they are helpless given if they have but ears to hear and eyes to see.4.5/5
Indeed the horror of it was how central we were, how ingenuously and not we comprised the larger processes, feeding ourselves and one another to the all-consuming engine of the war.I have another one of Lee's works on the shelf, and this time, I'm waiting on it in order to savor it when I finally choose to read it. I was a tad upset at myself for writing it off so early as a derivative of other Asian novelists who write in beat-around-the-bush ways. It shows that, for all my diversification effort, my brain still runs in very settled tracks, and I have a long way to go before I can treat with any type of literature without recourse to built up stereotypes. I am hoping that striking out on the first volume of The Story of the Stone will help, as will completing entire set in 2019. It's the 21st century, and my reading must reflect such.
Let me simply bear my flesh, and blood, and bones. I will fly a flag. Tomorrow, when this house is alive and full, I will be outside looking in. I will be already on a walk someplace, in this town or the next or one five thousand miles away. I will circle round and arrive again. Come almost home.