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Alastair Ransom #4

Titanic 2012

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This historical generational horror/suspense/science fiction novel defies genre classification as it has intrigue and terror. It is a Centenary retelling of the Titanic story to destroy all the false legends surrounding Titanic. “From a master of terror and suspense,” according to Clive Cussler, author of Raise the Titanic, herein lies a compelling reason that forces Captain Edward J. Smith to scuttle his own ship—RMS Titanic. What dark secret prompts such an action on the part of a veteran, retiring captain on a ship’s maiden voyage? What prompts men a hundred years later to pillage the wreck of the Titanic? What secret lies buried within the lost ship—a secret that could destroy all life as we know it?The answers are unveiled in April 1912 and in April 2012…and there will be blood...

457 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 7, 2010

40 people are currently reading
340 people want to read

About the author

Robert W. Walker

184 books75 followers
Aka Geoffrey Caine, Glenn Hale, Evan Kingsbury, Stephen Robertson

Master of suspense and bone-chilling terror, Robert W. Walker, BS and MS in English Education, Northwestern University, has penned 44 novels and has taught language and writing for over 25 years. Showing no signs of slowing down, he is currently juggling not one but three new series ideas, and has completed a film script and a TV treatment. Having grown up in Chicago and having been born in the shadow of the Shiloh battlefield, near Corinth, Mississippi, Walker has two writing traditions to uphold--the Windy City one and the Southern one--all of which makes him uniquely suited to write City for Ransom and its sequels, Shadows in White City and City of the Absent. His Dead On will be published in July 2009. Walker is currently working on a new romantic-suspense-historical-mainstream novel, titled Children of Salem. In 2003 and 2004 Walker saw an unprecedented seven novels released on the "unsuspecting public," as he puts it. Final Edge, Grave Instinct, and Absolute Instinct were published in 2004. City of the Absent debuted in 2008 from Avon. Walker lives in Charleston, West Virginia.

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5 stars
49 (23%)
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60 (29%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
Profile Image for Carla JFCL.
440 reviews14 followers
November 5, 2015
This is a book that I really REALLY wanted to love, because I was fascinated by the story line. I still think it’s a great plot, but the actual book...not so much, because I found it almost unreadable. It’s just not written well, and for that reason I was never able to lose myself in the story. Instead, it felt like I should be sitting there with a red editing pen to mark up the incomplete and run-on sentences; mismatched tenses; stilted dialogue; poorly placed punctuation; misused subject/object; and, my personal pet peeve, overuse of exclamation points! Which made me feel like I was reading a Judge Parker comic!

I only made it one-third of the way through this book. I’d love to actually finish it someday if the author submits it to a rigorous editing process and offers a revised version. As it is, though, I just couldn’t stick with it long enough to find out how the story ends. I kept having to reread sentences and paragraphs to try to decipher exactly what was being said, and that’s just no fun.
Profile Image for D.g. Gass.
Author 2 books4 followers
December 9, 2010
In his most recent novel “Titanic 2012 (Curse of the RMS Titanic)” author Robert W. Wilson provides a new twist to the tragic sinking of the Titanic. Taking us into, not one, but two horror and suspense filled voyages, we’re introduced to a new blood sucking terror, one that threatens the very existence of mankind itself.

Beginning in the shaft of a coal mine in Belfast, Ireland 1912 until one hundred years to the day of the sinking of the famed ocean liner, when the state-of-the-art, high-tech salvage ship Scorpio makes it’s way to the site of the famous disaster, Mr. Walker weaves a delicious tale of a race against time. What links the events of the time leading up to Titanic’s demise and the voyage of the Scorpio, a one-hundred year old journal, and the ability to now send divers to the bottom of the ocean floor that became the grave of more then 1,000 souls on board the ill-fated ocean liner.

As a reader who enjoys the writing of Stephen King and Dean Koontz, I thoroughly enjoyed my first encounter with Robert W. Walkers writing in “Titanic 2012 (Curse of the RMS Titanic)”. His style had me hooked at the first paragraph. His attention to detail helped paint vivid mental images as the scenes unfolded. Add to that, the use of historically accurate information, intertwined with current scientific events made the plot of the story plausible. In the end, it was a novel that I couldn’t put down, needing to continue on to see what happens next.

It was also my introduction to his character, Inspector Alastair Ransom. Having met the man who was willing to sacrifice everything and everyone for the greater good of humanity, had me hungry to go back and read what other adventures the Inspector had gotten himself into leading up to his own journey aboard the Titanic. No doubt Walker’s Ransom series (as well as his other books) are now on my to be read list.
Profile Image for Bruce Jenvey.
Author 16 books10 followers
February 27, 2012
What a fantastic story! Won't be a spoiler BUT... The story constantly bounces back and fourth between 1912 and 2012 telling two different stories revolving around the same central idea: That secretly, Titanic was sabatoged and deliberatley sank with the intended loss of ALL on board. This thriller lets you read along as the 1912 team tries to resolve the mystery and prevent the tragedy while the 2012 team races to discover the cause and their own resolution to the problem. Bottom line, it puts a whole new spin on the sad tale of Titanic... and it will probably get you off Beef Jerkey for life!

There are some mixed reviews on this book. Yes, there were things in there I think an editor should have caught, but in the big picture of things, we are talking about some minor technical aspect of the writing/editing process. But I can't ding the fastest race car at the track because of a couple bubbles in the paint job. The story is everything and this story is a benchmark thriller. With the Centenial of the loss of Titanic virtually upon us, this is a must read!
Profile Image for Kelley.
612 reviews7 followers
April 12, 2012
I only read 27% of this book. It was a free Kindle download. I'm glad I didn't spend any money on this. The premise was quite intriguing and I really want to know where this story goes, but I cannot stand the sloppy writing any longer. In 20 minutes of reading earlier today, I had a mixed up pronoun (wrong gender), a character named Bowman was called Bowen, and the missing lifeboat vanished from the story completely (the missing people were now treading water in their wake). I've had enough.
Profile Image for Sam.
115 reviews3 followers
May 24, 2012
The story is slow moving, badly written and needs a good edit. I really couldn't get into it and like so many others simply couldn't finish the book. The story is a good concept, although for some reason I do find it a little insulting the way he's used the titanic to base this story. It would be fine on another sinking or another shipwreck, but one like the Titanic, which is so well loved and known the world over ... to suggest it was some monster spirit thing that sunk the ship intentionally and wanted to kill everyone, well that's just nuts and a little offensive to the memory of those that died.
The other thing is of course the facts. The basic facts about the boat and the sinking are wrong. I just couldn't read anymore.
Profile Image for S.R..
Author 1 book14 followers
November 13, 2025
As another reader noted, the idea for this story is a very intriguing idea, What if John Carpenter's The Thing were set on the Titanic? Unfortunately as several others have noted, the execution is...not good.

It is somewhat spectacular just how over the top this book is and I have honestly recommended it to some of my friends as I need someone else to talk to about this one. My friend that actually started reading it said, "I am not sure we can be friends anymore lol. I cannot with this book."

I really need SyFy channel or Asylum to option and create a 90ish minute version of this film.

In the end I am giving it two stars because I have not stopped thinking about this book since I finished it and that earns it an extra star.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jennifer Tooker.
436 reviews10 followers
February 28, 2013
I initially attempted to read this in March 2012 and only got about 3% of the way through before I abandoned ship so to speak and refused to read another syllable. The opening chapters of the book describe of an expedition to plunder Titanic using divers, not submersibles. At the time, and not reading any further than the first few chapters, I was insulted that the author would think his readers so unintelligent to not know that at the depths that Titanic rests, this concept is pretty much impossible. I reviewed what I read on Goodreads, gave it one star and moved on.
Fast forward to February 2013 and I decided to give this book another shot. Being a life-long Titanic fan, I consider myself a bit of an aficionado on the subject (maybe not as thorough as Declan, but pretty close!), and since this book is set with Titanic as the back drop I figured I owed it another look. I planned on going in with the mindset that this should be treated as more science fiction than anything else, but I was on the lookout for any glaring factual errors.
After rereading this book, I must say I really liked it. The way the author tells the story both in 1912 and 2012 reminded me of Ann Benson’s, “The Plague Tales”, and despite what I have read in other reviews both “eras” were equally enjoyable and the story was not at all hard to follow. The book as a whole was long but I only found it a bit too technical and wordy during the full description of the Max submersible. Truly, this section had my eyes crossing and my head hurting by the time I was through reading it! It seemed to be descriptive more for descriptions sake and less to advance the story. (Of course it also may have had something to do with the fact that I was reading this chapter at roughly 3 A.M. while I was feeding my daughter.) That section could probably have been trimmed down; however, I did not have that issue with the rest of the text. The history of Titanic overall was very good and the way the story evolved around her, from the shipyard to the maiden voyage, was very well done, with a few exceptions.
Throughout the story, I did encounter a few typical grammar errors; a misplaced apostrophe here, misspelled word there and a few instances where the word used did not make much sense with the context of the sentence. Seeing as how this is an eBook primarily, those are fairly easy fixes. Throughout my reading, I also used my notes and highlights feature on my Kindle to keep track of my thoughts as well as research what I was reading via Google searches. (I did this less for my learning anything and more for my testing the authenticity of the author.) Throughout this process, I learned that the underwater breathing technology and deep water diving is not as far-fetched as I had deemed last March. We are not “there” yet, but the technology definitely exists and is being developed. Of course the “Declan” in me, did find a few historical errors as well, and while they weren't bad enough for me to throw up my hands and stop reading again (much like I stopped watching James Cameron’s Titanic the first time I saw it), I still feel that they should be mentioned.

1) For the first half of the book, I seem to remember the order of the Olympic class ships to be reversed. They were launched with Olympic, then Titanic and Britannic, not Britannic, Titanic, Olympic. This fact was corrected later in the story.
2) In one part the date of the sinking was noted as April 12, 1912. This was only referenced once in the story with all other mentions being the correct April 14th date.
3) On a few occasions, Mr. Walker refers to the temperature of the sea on the night of her sinking as “a little under 50 degrees”. It has been documented that the waters of the North Atlantic that night was actually 28 degrees.
4) According to the Titanic cargo manifest, there was never a Mummy on board. This appears to be a myth.
5) The passenger in cabin C148 referenced was not a Mr. Olaus Abelseth. Cabin 148 was occupied by Karl Howell Behr who escaped on lifeboat #5. That being said, I can totally understand the reasons to change the name of any passenger who was on board to further the story in deference to any surviving family. I’m cool with this bit of artistic license. 
And the historical boo-boo that had me actually laughing from a portion of the 1912 flashback is as follows, and I quote:
“I want one of those!” probably have had some Lee Enfield MKIII Short Rifles on board for close confines of a ship. It was in .303 British caliber a pretty potent round up to 300 yards. You can probably google those weapons if you need more particulars”
Google? What’s a Google?
Actually, I’m impressed that this was only time that the author got his time frames confused due to all of the back and forth.
So, am I glad I gave this book another try? You bet I am, and I have to admit I was pretty much "out for" hating this book all over again when I first started reading it, but the more I read the more Robert Walker's story of Titanic won me over. In fact, I would consider this as one of very few books that I could see myself rereading again down the line just to relive the story.





























Profile Image for Stephen.
1,242 reviews9 followers
March 13, 2020
Interesting historical fiction piece, I did enjoy it.
18 reviews
May 14, 2012
I wanted to love it, I really did. The story premise is good and I like the split narrative between 1912 and 2012. The technology the author introduces stretches credulity a bit, but I can live with that just fine; the book is fiction trending toward science fiction after all.

All of the good ideas are wiped away by one key failing as far as I can tell: no editor. Or, if an editor was used that person was, well, not very good. A good editor could have easily cut 20,000 or more words out of the book and it would have been much better for it. An editor would, I hope, have caught a mistake like this from a scene where characters in 1912 are discussing armaments available to them on the Titanic:

"I want one of those!" probably have had some Lee Enfield MKIII Short Rifles on board for close confines of ship. It was in .303 British caliber a pretty potent round up to 300 yards. You can probably google those weapons if you need more particulars.
"If I thought it would do any good other than getting more men killed than these disgusting creatures", Murdoch replied, "I'd break into the Vickers machine guns on board."

The author's note to himself to do a little more research on SMLE rifles finds its way into the final text.

There are many other examples similar to this one throughout the book. Not author notes appearing, but problems that never would have been had a good editor been used.

The author came up with what I think was a very good idea for a story with a different take on the Titanic disaster and it could have been epic. But the editorial mistakes really distract from any tension that the story might otherwise create.
Profile Image for Franz McLaren.
Author 12 books39 followers
April 7, 2013
Once again Robert Walker has penned a novel that defies categorization. In "Titanic 2012" he skillfully mixes historical, mystery, horror, and science fiction in a blend with enough depth to satisfy the hard core aficionado of any of these genres. Mr. Walker skillfully interweaves the early twentieth century perceptions of Alastair Ransom, his recurring, irascible, hard bitten detective, with those of David Ingles, a member of a dive team of tomorrow attempting to salvage artifacts from the Titanic. The mystery and suspense build from page one as the two are led to the same inescapable conclusion, that there is more to the sinking of the "unsinkable" Titanic than is told in the press and history books. It is obvious that the author spent numerous hours researching the life and culture of 1912 Ireland, the construction, layout, operation, and timeline of the Titanic, and the cutting edge technology that would enable salvaging a ship beneath two and half miles of ocean. That vast knowledge provides a solid basis for his unique and provocative theory of why and how the Titanic met its end.

This book is best read on a quiet evening, snuggled in a comfortable chair, in front of a crackling fireplace. However, it would be advised to have a dog at your feet to assure you that the chills racing along your spine are only from the book. If you have purchased this novel to read on a cruise ship crossing the North Atlantic, you might consider waiting until after you arrive before starting it.
Profile Image for Marta Moran Bishop.
Author 68 books78 followers
February 8, 2011
Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the ride of your life., January 26, 2011

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Titanic 2012 (Curse of RMS Titanic - an Inspector Alastair Ransom title) (Kindle Edition)
Robert Walker once again takes us on the ride of our life in Titanic 1912-2012. Every page holds a backdrop to the suspense and horror that might be released again.
He switches between time periods with the ease of a master, never failing to remember where he left us when he takes us back and forward in time. All the while continuing to amaze and keep us spell bound waiting for the next sentence, the next chapter.
This book is a visual masterpiece that leaves your imagination open to placing yourself inside the hearts and minds of the characters. Whether it is Ingles, Kelly, Alsastair, Declan or any other of the numerous characters you can feel, see and hear what they are thinking and feeling as if in truth you had intimate knowledge of them as people.
By not really describing the creature in full detail it actually helps us know the confusion and disbelief of all those who come in contact with it.
I highly recommend this book; you won't be disappointed by any aspect of it. And you will find it entertaining, terrifying and at the end will leave you still open for wonder and delight. For there is still much to discover and learn about our world isn't there?
Marta Moran-Bishop

Profile Image for Kevin.
74 reviews
September 15, 2016
As many have said, the main problem about this book is the writing and editing. The poor grammar, confusing and repeating dialog, inaccurate historical facts and the infamous 1912 google all make reading it a pain. Even (or especially) for me whose mother tongue isn't English. I pretty much had to re-write the book in my mind as I read.

Having said that, I did finish the book. The story concept is interesting and has its attractiveness. The interaction between characters are well developed. And I don't have problem with (and actually like) jumping between timelines. Probably not for everyone, but I read books for context more than for the writing.

Here is a few comments that I haven't seen covered by others:
- The jumping between timelines could be done better. Often information is revealed in one timeline too soon)
- Comparing to the overall lengthy book, the ending is too short (in 1912 from the iceberg strike, in 2012 from the entering the freezer). If nothing more can fit in there, perhaps the book can be shorten a bit.
- I wouldn't mind a bit more follow up on the Afterward section. Especially after 1912 timeline. Tell us something about Thomas and Lightoller, whatever. That could probably link the two timelines better and be a better conclusion of the book.
Profile Image for Jinx Schwartz.
Author 29 books317 followers
November 6, 2011
First off, the genre. The author himself describes this book as a "paranormal generational historical novel of intrigue, suspense, and horror," which covers a lot of bases, but I would add one more: mystery.

Walker starts with the premise that Captain Edward J. Smith scuttled his own ship, thereby sinking the unsinkable. But why?

Jump ahead a hundred years. A dive team, on the centennial anniversary of the day the Titanic sunk, sets their sights on plundering the rumored myriad riches lying on the bottom in water so deep that up until now, divers couldn't possibly leave a sub to pick off treasure. Armed with technology allowing humans to literally breathe like fish underwater, the team of treasure hunters are about to learn a horrific secret that not only took the Titanic down, but threatens the future of humanity on earth.

Walker has taken the historical mysteries surrounding the sinking of such a spectacular ship on her maiden voyage, and weaves a riveting tale that lives up to its billing of intrigue, suspense and horror.

This review by Jinx Schwartz, award-winning author of the Hetta Coffey Mystery Series
Profile Image for Harish P.
376 reviews4 followers
June 28, 2012
One hell of a read!
It beats me as to how to categorize this novel: alternative fiction, sic-fi, horror or psychological thriller. Forget the taxonomy. I was skeptical when i started reading it. Three pages and ... I didn't want to put the book down.

An ancient parasites had resurfaced and made it's way onto RMS Titanic. The parasites multiples at an exponential rate and takes control of the host before it kills and use them as its egg sac. Only way it can be contained: sink The Titanic.

A glorious twist to the legends of Titanic. This is a book of epic proportions. The narration alters between 1912 and 2012. Kind of book that makes me sad when I reach the last page - sad that the book is over.

*However, a few sections of the book could have been edited better!

I loved the characters of Declan and Alastair Ransom! This April marked the centenary of Titanic voyage/ sinking. The book couldn't have come in a better time!
Profile Image for Deb Novack.
284 reviews10 followers
May 27, 2012
This novel is factual,mysterious and has a little science fiction all mixed together. It tells a story of what happened in 1912 and the 2012 expedition to the Titanic. In 1912 we have three unlikely
heroes Det.Constable Alastair Ransom and two medical interns,Declan and Thomas, they are devoted to a horrific enemy from leaving the ship. In 2012 we have an eight man dive team that set off on the Scorpio to make the first dive to the inside of the Titanic to find treasures from the interior of the ship. This expedition is led by Capt. Forbes, Lou Swigart,divers David Ingles and Dr.Kelly Irvin who happens to be Declan's great granddaughter and has a journal Declan wrote, and five other divers. This story is a long one but it is a great one. The author has done a fine job of developing his storyline and characters.
Profile Image for Clarice.
176 reviews11 followers
March 22, 2015
After reading the description of this book, "historical generational horror/suspense/science fiction novel defies genre classification as it has intrigue and terror" I eagerly downloaded it and was certain I would really enjoy it. I really should have read the sample first.

I have a hard enough time overlooking typos and incorrect punctuation, but bad writing is something I just can't fight my way through no matter how promising the story is. For example:

"We've spoken. You called my iPhone."

"Aye--first mate, science officer, and you look like your photo, yes? Sometimes a good thing!"

"You've got me!" Ingles joked, and they both looked out to sea.

"Ahhh, yes! I called you from my Droid"


UGH!

Did Clive Cussler REALLY call this guy "a master of terror and suspense?"
Profile Image for Kimberly.
Author 1 book19 followers
September 10, 2013
Holy lord what a mess. Just in the first few pages the ships names are spelled incorrectly and it lists the order of building as Britannic, Titanic, Olympic which is exactly opposite the real order. If I can get past the historical errors, maybe I'll make it through to the end. The beginning thanks all the editors involved. I really think he should be calling them and asking why they set him up instead of thanking them. We'll see.

Edit: I can't do it. Life is too short to waste time on a book that was researched less than a sixth grade term paper. Go back to the classroom professor and pray your students never see what you've done. Better yet, pray your bosses never do because this could get you fired.
21 reviews
Read
July 28, 2012
I'm glad this was a free ebook and I know why. Apparently we won't remember things unless they are repeated at least three times on as many pages. It's a decent idea mired down by ramblings and ping ponging non sequitir elements to up the word count.

I'm 58% through it but it is getting frustrating to continue. The plus side is I haven't seen a wrong word (drinking Champaign) or lack of spell checking since chapter three or four.

I finally finished. do I win a prize? I had to re-read several sections due to the choppy flow of the story. The story concept was OK but the execution was poor. I've read several split time stories like this that have events in different places & time that had better flow than this attempt.
Profile Image for Sally Beaudean.
233 reviews1 follower
March 5, 2014
Why do I always like a good Titanic story? My first and favorite -- A Night to Remember -- and the movie by the same name that we used to annually bore a new group of sophomores -- really? a black and white movie? how many days? but we already know how it ends! This version at least is different -- and I might have liked it if the contagion had begun and ended with Titanic. It's presence on Scorpio was just too much science fiction for me. I did laugh when a character in 1912 suggested using Google to fact check -- reminiscent of anachronistic errors of Shakespeare. In spite of everything I disliked, however, I read with interest and fascination because I loved the characters -- especially the ones on Titanic.
Profile Image for Selena.
51 reviews
September 14, 2012
I found this was an interesting view on what could possibly have happened, a bit far fetched but probably easier to read than someone who was trying to make you believe what they had written was what actually happened. Spelling mistakes were dotted through out the novel which were annoying but what was of more annoyance was the over the top use of terms with technology, almost as though the author had been paid for product placement.

If you aren't interested in reading truth about Titanic and undersea adventuring it's an interesting read.
Profile Image for Alex.
106 reviews
Read
March 29, 2012
I'm abandoning this book at around 15% in (part-way through chapter 8) because
* the story idea is interesting, but it's taking a really long time for the book itself to get interesting. I haven't read the whole book so can't judge for sure but it feels like a good portion of the section I have read could be cut out and made a lot tighter.
* the author has clearly done a lot of research but seems to be trying too hard to wedge all those snippets of information into the book. In particular, random details included in dialogue thereby making it unnatural is driving me crazy.
Profile Image for Melanie.
322 reviews8 followers
April 23, 2012
I have always enjoyed reading about the Titanic and learning about this beautiful ship but after reading this book, I just don't know.

It is so far out of the ordinary with the storylines but some of it does make you think "could it be real?"

I guess after all the reading I have done of the Titanic I didn't like how this book painted Captain Edward Smith but on the other hand it left me wondering...

I won't say any more as it could give the storyline away but I would say do read it and decide for yourself.
Profile Image for D.J. Weaver.
Author 4 books57 followers
April 23, 2011
This book had a great story premise,exciting, underwater action, suspenseful, intriguing. Since I'm a big Titanic fan, I found it interesting that so much history was woven into the story. Defiantly worth the reading time. One way I judge a good suspense is by whether I figure out 'who done it' before the ending. I had this one pegged but still liked it. Kindle edition does need some editing but all in all, an excellent read that kept my attention and entertained.
Profile Image for Bob Nielsen.
114 reviews2 followers
April 20, 2012
Interesting take on the Titanic disaster. The alternating of story lines between 2012 and 1912 was an interesting way to move the story along. At over 500 pages I thought it was a bit too long and could have been cut by 100 pages. I would give it 3.5 stars but not an option in the rating section. I enjoyed the story but it dragged on at times and the editing was pretty weak with lots of mistakes in the transcript. I would read another of his books.
Profile Image for Aura.
135 reviews11 followers
March 1, 2023
I read this because any book about Titanic has to be good, even if it contained the list of passengers or a brief description of the behemoth. However, in addition to what I thought was to be another amazing expedition to the depths of its former glory, a story emerged that proposed that the reason for the sinking was quite different. I have already read the zombie version (Deck Z) and wasn't disappointed, and this book turned out to be enjoyable as well...
Profile Image for Brian Bigelow.
Author 36 books59 followers
March 2, 2012
Really excellent story, creatures that aren't exactly nice suck people dry, turn them to kindling and are now on the Titanic. I'll admit this isn't what I thought it was at first and I'm really enjoying this tale. It reminds me of a couple of sci-fi movies that I really liked a lot. I will note, parts of this book is definitely not for the squeamish.
Profile Image for Vesper.
15 reviews1 follower
March 27, 2012
3.5. I loved The X Files, so I wasn't disappointed with the paranormal aspect. I just thought it started too slowly, and fell just short of its potential once things went down, so to speak. ;)
Still, most characters were well-developed, and I had a difficult time putting it down through the second half.
Profile Image for Michael Bradley.
Author 9 books121 followers
May 30, 2014
I wanted to really love this book. The premise sounded so intriguing, but in the end, I found it to just be mediocre. I felt like it was a little too confusing trying to keep track of the different characters and their relationships. The concept was good, but I thought the execution could have been better.
Profile Image for George.
4 reviews
August 20, 2015
Got this for free on Amazon, and am grateful I didn't pay for it. I wanted to like it, and tried to like it, especially given the title. What could go wrong?

The writing is cumbersome and the plot meandering. To be honest, I couldn't finish it.

If MST3K skewered books instead of movies, they would have done this one.
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