Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six

Real Vampires #7

by Gerry Bartlett

After Glory St. Clair kicked out the demon that had set up shop in her body, she had a serious fallout with longtime lover Jeremy Blade. But before Glory can win him back, she has some issues of the hellish variety to deal with.

When Lucifer himself offers Glory the ultimate temptation-work for the devil and he'll make her a size six-the curvy vampire's not sure if she can resist. But what Glory does know is that somehow, she's going to get back the man she loves and show everyone that real vampires always have more to love.

Genres: Vampires, Paranormal, Paranormal Romance, Romance, Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Fiction

352 pages, Paperback

First published August 2, 2011

About the author

Gerry Bartlett figures that vampires are pretty much like everyone else except for the liquid diet.

Eternity or Mexican food? Tough call.

Gerry’s a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston. Pictured with her is her late wonder dog, a Bedlington Terrier named Belle.

When she started writing, she was still teaching and used the pseudonym Lynn McKay. You can probably still find her historical and two romantic suspense books for a penny on-line. Now that she’s no longer in the classroom and discovered the fun of writing about vampires, she uses her real name. Too bad some people think Gerry is a boy's name or short for Geraldine. No, it's not. Really.

She's still writing her Real Vampires series but is back to romantic suspense and contemporaries. Her Texas Heat series starts in Houston, her home town. Then there's her Lone Star Suspense series set in Austin where she went to the University of Texas. She loves the hill country there and brought some of her favorite characters from the Texas Heat series to Austin for the fast-paced suspense in the three books in that series.

You can check out Gerry’s website at gerrybartlett.com to find her blog and articles for writers. Her Perils of Publishing gives the scoop on what happens once "the call" comes. Oh, did you think it would be all roses and champagne? Well, of course it is.

When Gerry's not writing, she's treasure hunting for her antiques business in Alvin. Her favorite finds? Vintage purses and jewelry. It's a struggle not to keep it all. Be sure to sign up for her newsletter for the latest info about her books at http://ymlp.com/xgeyeewwgmgw

Reviews

[Vicky Dreiling · Rating 5 out of 5]

When things are going well for Gloriana St. Clair (better known as Glory to her vampire friends) you know trouble is just around the corner. In this case, trouble starts when the Vampire Council demands that Glory shut down her clothing store Vintage Vamp’s Emporium because it’s attracting too much attention from the outside world. Her personal life has also gone to hell in a handbasket—literally. Her on again-off again relationship with yummy Vampire Jeremy Blade goes South when Jeremy learns that Glory had a fling with shifter/former bodyguard Rafael Valdez while she was possessed by a demon. Could matters possibly get worse?

This is Glory – of course it can!

When Glory is offered an opportunity to mentor a recently turned vampire, she takes the job in hopes of getting in good with the Vampire Council. Since Glory has experience mentoring new vamps (e.g., rock star Israel Caine), she agrees to the plan. Her new charge, Penny, is a young brainiac with no fashion sense whatsoever. Penny wants her family changed so that they can all live forever together. Glory is tasked with persuading Penny that her wishes are not in her family’s best interest.

Glory’s problems worsen when Israel takes up drinking again, and then the devil himself makes an appearance. Lucifer offers Glory the one thing she’s coveted for four hundred long years: the chance to be a size 6.

In this seventh installment of the Real Vampires series, Ms. Bartlett once again hits a home run. You can’t help but love and admire Glory as she navigates the tricky lanes of her vampire world in Austin, TX. Readers new to the series need not worry about feeling lost as this book can easily be read as a standalone.

Real Vampires Don’t Wear a Size Six will charm readers and keep them turning the pages until the very wonderful end. I highly recommend it.

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light, fun and well written. Just what I needed to read at the moment.

[Angels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (Glory St. Clair #7)
by Gerry Bartlett
5 stars

http://angelswithattitudebookreviews-...


After Glory St. Clair kicked out the demon that had set up shop in her body, she had a serious fallout with longtime lover Jeremy Blade. But before Glory can win him back, she has some issues of the hellish variety to deal with.

When Lucifer himself offers Glory the ultimate temptation-work for the devil and he'll make her a size six-the curvy vampire's not sure if she can resist. But what Glory does know is that somehow, she's going to get back the man she loves and show everyone that real vampires always have more to love.


Paperback, 320 pages
Published August 2nd 2011 by Berkley Trade
ISBN
0425241351 (ISBN13: 9780425241356)
edition language
English
series
Glory St. Clair #7
setting
Texas (United States)



My Thoughts....

I have to say that I am so loving this series. Just love the characters they are funny witty humorous and some even very dangerous.Glory is just so funny. She kind of reminds me of Charlene Harris's Sookie Stakehouse the trouble she gets into all the time without even looking for it. The situations so gets herself into are pretty funny.Glory is a plus size vampire at least in he mind with an on and off relationship with a sexy Scottish highlander named Blade (Jerry for short)Glory has her hands full this time around. She is in hot water with the counsel and needs to get on there good side. So her fellow vampire Damien suggest she mentor a newly turned vampire. Oh boy does she have her hands full and this young gal she is a scientist with 3 degrees and only in he early twenties.To top it all off the demons are after her again to come work for them and harvest souls for them. They are constantly in her face and going after the people she loves. Glory is in the mist of a love triangle sort of. She constantly has her men around her and it's wreaking havoc on her relationship with Jerry that's on a break right now .This situation creates so many funny scenes that have you laughing your butt off.Glory needs to deal with so many things going on she is a little bit overwhelmed with the demon problem the mentoring a newly turned vampire that didn't want to be turned and making things work with Blade and Ian's new miracle pill allowing you to actually eat a meal she so wants to try out.. Glory's relationship is so hot a sexy the love scenes are great and have you rooting for them both (her and Blade)to make a go of it and wishing you had your very own Highland Warrior. I love the character's that surround Glory they are a hoot and great friends and her loyalty to them is heartfelt.Gerry carries her characters from one book to the other having Glory interact with them in each story which I so love that.The books was full danger and many humors laughs that had you laughing constantly throughout every page and loving the way things unfold through the story making it a page turner. The book ends with such a surprise ending that I never saw it coming! What a cliff hanger loved it ! Can't wait to the next book. I recommended read for all. This series is great !

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was okay. I love this series, but this book was not amoung my favs. Glory was just too damn annoying. She complaints about Jerry aka Blade, but then she stays with him. I am a Rafe fan. The beginning of the book was okay. I felt so much annoyance of Glory and her flirting antics. Then the last 20 pages of the book was action packed. The End. I was very disappointed in this book. But I love the characters and the series. Hope the next one is better.

[Lizz (Beer, Books and Boos) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just love this series. I can't wait to read the rest of this series. I just can't believe this series is almost over.

[Joan Mueller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down. Another fantastic book in the series.

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Glory. I'm so glad she and Blade got back together in this book. I can't wait for the next book.

[Casey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was pretty bad. I hated the whole devil and demons thing, first of all. Glory is a church-going vampire, but she's fine with working for the devil? She's a freaking moron. I was glad to see her ghost friends return from heaven, but I was disappointed that they were basically fairies the author called "angels". I love Rafe, but tbh, he could do so much better than Glory. She's a tramp. She claims "Jer" is awful for being controlling, but she seems to control the long line of boy toys she uses and tosses pretty well herself. The whole "in heaven, women can do as many men as they want" thing was pretty awful too. Honestly, as a Christian, I found it pretty offensive. As a reader, I found that I wanted to drive an ice pick through my brain by halfway through the book. I just don't get this series! There is so much potential. I'm really interested in knowing what about Glory is so "special". I'm not interested in which guy Glory is banging this week. I'm not interested in what she is wearing every minute of every day or what food is tempting her today. I don't care what drivel is running through her empty little head, and I can't understand why all the other vamps seem to want to read her mind. This book just left me bored until the end. It was then that the author apparently decided the book was long enough and wrapped it up in a few short pages. It basically went..."Ok, so then they killed the hell goddess and everybody gets along now. Then end!" The ending could have been SO much better if the author had cut out a few recaps, descriptions of food or fashion and awful sex scenes and dedicated some thought to how the big scary demon would buy the farm. As it was, the demoness was so easy to kill, I'm surprised a troop of boyscouts hadn't already wandered in and took her out.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started out really enjoying this series but it’s so redundant now. Glory is obsessed with being thin and has a bunch of hot guys after her while dealing with the devil, demons or whatever paranormal entity wants to interrupt her immortality. Yawn. I can’t imagine the series getting better so I’m done haha

[Natalie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh! I am so over Glory! The main stories are good among the back characters, that's what I'm reading these for now.

[Tammie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Glory who has always wished to be a smaller size hears about a special drink that makes vampires skinnier but it has consequences.

[Book Review Diva · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six” By Gerry Bartlett

Glory St. Clair thought she would never have to deal with the demon world again. It was bad enough having a crazy demon named "Alesa" shacked up inside Glory's body. Too bad Glory, you're now going to have to deal with the demon world all over again. This time, good ol Lucifer is going to be involved, Oh Joy! It seem that Glory really ticked the demons off this time. They want her to do their dirty work and sell her friend's souls to Lucifer. If that is not bad enough, Glory is also in trouble with the Austin Vampire Council for causing a major disturbance when her eyes turned red in front of everyone at her best friends wedding. If it was not for the darn demon Alesa living inside of Glory, none of this trouble would have happened with the Austin Vampire Council. Now there is a possibility that she'll have to move from Austin because of the wedding incident.

Glory now has to answer to the demons and deliver up some souls to Lucifer, or her best bud and ex-lover Rafael Valdez will be punished. Glory must also prove herself to the Vampire Council by being a mentor to a newly turned vampire named Penny. She must show Penny the rights and wrongs of becoming a vampire, and also show the vampire council that she is responsible and "has her act together." If Glory can not get her act together, she will be packing her high heels and leaving Austin for good.

Poor Glory St. Clair has her plate filled to the roof this time. Will she do Lucifer's dirty work and sell her friends souls to him, or will she tell Lucifer to take a flying leap up to Haven? Can Glory show the Austin Vampire Council that she can teach Penny, her new fledgling vampire how to act as a good vampire? Can she redeem herself, and save herself from having to move? Last but not least, can Glory manage to keep the most important thing her life, the three men that she loves so much, from killing one another over their jealousy of one another? Can Glory manage this full plate of hers, or will everything around her come tumbling down?

Once again Gerry Bartlett knows how to keep the Glory St. Clair fans laughing. I just love good 'ol Glory, and her drama filled life. The man drama throughout is the best part. Only Glory can have three men after her, and might I say, three gorgeous immortal men. YUMMY! Don't miss out reading Gerry Bartlett's book “Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six”.

5 Bats out of 5

Reviewed by: VampireBooks.ca


Click Here to Visit VampireBooks.ca

[Robin Priddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glory St. Clair owner of the vintage clothing store called Vintage Vamp's Emporium, she is also a 400+ year old vampire. Life is going good for Glory, her long time on-again off-again boyfriend and sire is ready to settle down. Her store is running smoothly and her best friend is on her honeymoon. But things can change fast around Glory. The vampire council members want Glory to close her store and leave town because they belive she brings too much attention to the vampire world. So when her friend Damian, who is also a member of the council, asks Glory to help mentor a young girl who was turned vampire aganist her will. Penny Patterson is nineteen years old and has three degrees from UT. She is a brain but has no fashion sense but Glory is determined to help her with that. Penny is not happy about being a vampire. She wants to change her twin sister and her parents so that they can be together for always. It is up to Glory to get her to change her mind. As if having to train a new fledgling is not tough enough the devil sends two demons to try and get Glory to become a soul harvester for him. If she does Lucifer makes her an offer he thinks she can't turn down. To be a size six forever. Glory tells him no way. Just to make things more of a mess, Glory gets word that the first vampire she mentored, Israel Caine famous rock star, has fallen off the wagon and is drinking blood laced with alcohol. He is staying drunk all the time. He even attacked his best friend and manager. Now all Glory has to do is keep Penny in line and teach her what she needs to know, keep the demons at arms length, help Israel stop drinking and fight for the man she loves.

This is the seventh installment of Ms Bartlett's Real Vampires series. This has to be one of the best series I have ever read. Even after seven books, Ms Bartlett keeps the story and her characters fresh and never boring. You have the old characters and new ones are added in without a hitch. I have said it before and will say it again, this is a great laugh out loud series. This series is a keeper. Ms Bartlett is an auto buy.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warning: Some mild spoilers but I tried to generalize so not to blow the whole story for potential readers.
I so wanted to be able to give this book 5 stars but it just didn't make it for me. First off I have to say I'm a huge Glory St Clair & Gerry Bartlett fan. I've been with the series since the beginning. This book had a lot going on at once, which unfortunately took away from the depth of some parts of the story. I really liked the aspect of Glory & her mentoring the fledgling Penny, Glory's conflicting feelings between Jerry, Rafe, & Israel Cain, along with her resolution between them (I just hope it sticks this time), and parts of the conflict between the demon's temptations & Glory and her friends. I was disappointed with the end result between the problems between Penny & her twin sister Jenny. It seemed like there was going to be more involved when Penny finally figured out what her sister was really like. It just kind of puttered out. Then there was the ending, the whole battle seen between Glory and her guys & the Goddess was very disappointing. It was build up & build up and then poof, done without a hitch in a couple of paragraphs. Talk about a let down. It ends too suddenly with everything perfectly fine, even one of the most greedy, power-hungry, bad guys suddenly giving up his empire & most of his powers for something so normal & good, which came in from out of nowhere. And why? Then I have some problems with how Glory behaves with Rafe & Cain and then considers it not to be cheating if it doesn't include full intercourse. Truly I would've given this a 3.5 if I could, but there is enough good stuff to push it up to a 4 for me instead of down to a 3.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a lot better than the previous ones. Glory still gets herself into a lot of trouble but she’s handling her guys better. And the action and problems make more sense. The feel of things that we liked about the first books are coming back. It’s story driven instead of relationship driven. Encourages me to finish reading the series.

Jerry leaves town: again. This time to think things through and give her space to decide who she wants. And there’s more demons giving Glory ‘incentives’ to work for their master. But then wonderfully loyal Jerry returns, determined to do anything he can to keep Glory. Even cope with Ray and Rafe and everything else going on. Glory is doing her best to stay true also and the tense interaction between the three guys is fun to read.

Glory’s previous dealings with the demon is causing her some problems with the vampire council, so she’s given a newbie vampire to mentor to get on their good side. Penny is a good kid, very similar to Glory, but she’s got problems of her own.

Top that off with Ray’s returned drinking problem, Rafe’s new club, Ian’s move to Austin, Glory’s attempts to pacify Lucifer and it’s an interesting book.

Emmie Lou & Harvey Nutt are back! This time on the good side as angels sent to help Glory with her demon problem. I love it! Though their idea of heaven is a bit unrealistic. Also there’s not as much Aggie. Yay! And I love Penny. I hope to see a lot more of her.

Fave scenes: Lacey and the white rats, Jerry and Rafe’s fight, Flo and the three-way mirror and the battle with the goddess.

[Darcy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite series but I was disappointed with this book and it can all be summed up by one word...Penny. I hated this new character that was introduced. She was so whiny it drove me nuts and colored how I felt about the rest of the book and even made me not want to read this one. I normally can read one of these books in one night after work, this book took me 3 nights to read, I kept putting it down to read something else.

Penny, a new vampire, is saddled to Glory for punishment as she has to mentor her. Penny was changed against her will and all she did was whine about how her life was crap, how she wanted to tell her family, and how she didn't need anyone to watch over her. Her actions were just like a sullen teenager, appropriate as she is a teen. By the end she was better, so there is some hope if she shows up in future books.

The other action had to to with repercussions of Rafe using his powers in the last book. Demons come after him and use Glory as leverage. I found the demons to be a bore, along with that story line. The only good thing about it was seeing how the guys that normally irritate each other, work together.

It also looks like we are up for a big reveal with Glory and how she is special in some way. It will be interesting to see what happens there. I hope the next book is better than this one!

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six by Gerry Bartlett is charming, hilarious and absolutely adorable. Glory is impossible not to like- I love her! This is the seventh installment in this series and I have not read the first six. Though the book is a wonderful stand alone read, I think I would have given it five stars and enjoyed myself more if I had more of a background feel for the characters. I definitely plan on going back and reading the first six- and I hope she continues on for awhile with Glory. So much dialogue, I love books doused in dialogue.

The only part I was truly disappointed with was the conclusion- I felt like some situations didn't get as much focus as they should in the end... and that another didn't end with as big of a bang as it could have. I'm trying to be general without giving any spoilers- but there is a fight that I thought ended too swiftly. It doesn't matter, the book is still a great read. Perfect for the summer.

I highly recommend this series to any paranormal romance fan that loves a good giggle with their romance!

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between a 4 and a 3.5. Cute read, lots of humor and snark with glory. Dialogue-heavy with some occasionally clunky moments, and there's a lot of references to past characters and series, but it leaves something interesting. I'll have to read the first six at some point and see where it builds from there. I'm kind of loving the fact that her definitions of love with her love-triangle/square dealie aren't as clear-cut as the ones in YA. On another note, I hate the drawing on the cover. It looks really cliche (and totally not Glory's house at all), and the vampire on it looks so much skinnier than Glory is. Just my opinion. Still, a series that I'll definitely continue to keep reading for a bit. I'd for sure suggest to start with book one, just because I feel like a lot I read would have felt faster if I had known the background of the characters beforehand.

[Nyckee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great Glory book from Gerry Bartlett. Glory is acting as a mentor again. This time for a socially awkward chemist. When I read these books, I am kind of bugged by Glory's inability to stay faithful. I kind like house this book brought up how she loves all three and in heaven she could be with all of the men she loves. Very interesting. Blade is not my favorite character and I was a bit disappointed by his reappearance. I was hoping Glory would explore things with Rafe. Love how the author was able to add a human element to Ray and show him battling his addiction.

I cannot wait for the next book. It should be interesting to see how things are minus the EV and with Simon playing nice. I also love the new character Penny and cannot wait to see her develop more as a character and mature past the poor me attitude she had for most of the first book.

[Shazasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I truly Love this series but I am really tired of glory and her Stupid games that she plays with the men in her life. I mean seriously how many times are these guys going to keep at it. She yells at Jerry about being jealous but turns around and kisses and cuddles with the other men. For once I would like to see Jerry truly scream at her and tell her that her ways are wrong. Leave her ass for a while, maybe play up Mara. Give her a kiss or two and see how she feels. If she can't take it then don't dish it. I going to try to continue to read the series but I don't know if I can take much more of her childish games. Dang I truly loved the previous books and was looking forward to continuing this series. Please, oh please Gerry Bartlett get mean with Glory. She needs a swift kick in the ass.

[aCupcakeBlonde · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first full book I read on my new Kindle! :)

I am so glad Glory is back to being her old self. She still has her tiny moments but nothing like her previous obsession with being thin. Finally Glory has her priorities straight. And her men are falling in line too! Although I am a bit sad she did decide to stick it out with Blade instead of taking a break and trying out one of her other hotties for awhile. Blade is never really going to change for her, but he did make some strides in this book. Glory being her sassy, brave self is awesome and she held her own against the demons. But I really like mentor Glory and how she manages to tame a wild new fledgling. Can't wait for the next book!

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Glory St. Clair kicked out the demon that had set up shop in her body, she had a serious fallout with longtime lover Jeremy Blade. But before Glory can win him back, she has some issues of the hellish variety to deal with.

When Lucifer himself offers Glory the ultimate temptation-work for the devil and he'll make her a size six-the curvy vampire's not sure if she can resist. But what Glory does know is that somehow, she's going to get back the man she loves and show everyone that real vampires always have more to love

Can we rate more damn I want to give more stars!! In this book we see ray again who is back off the wagon yet again, hunky Rafe still in love with glory. Then we have her main squeeze Jerry I wish they would just get married! Loved it with a capital L!

[Mersadies · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this whole series, and each book gets funnier. I thought that this one was a riot, and it upset me all at the same time. Glory always seems to find trouble but always seems to recover well,but what girl wouldn't recover with guys like Jeremy, Rafe and Ray loving you and supporting me! I hope that this series just keeps getting better. I wanted to kill Lucifer at one point for doing Glory so wrong but what did I expect he is the devil after all. Its so hard not to pull for Rafe and Glory even when you're pulling for Jeremy and Glory too. I loved that ghosts,whos names have escaped me at the moment, came back in the picture, they are so funny.

[Missyb · Rating 4 out of 5]

another funny one. The battle with the EV goddess was a little short, but ok, and I like how the guys came together for it. I like the addition of Penny & things could get interesting with her working with Ian. I look forward to seeing what is special about Glory's blood & how things could go with Simon and his new role in life, especially what Greg is going to be like now with the EV changes. The demon issues (Spyte & Caryon) are funny and interesting since they keep popping in, and what's up with Luc's interest in Glory. Everyone seemed to have had to face their demons this book.

[michelle+8 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad to say, I am getting bored and fed up with Glory St. Clair. The way she treats Jerry is reprehensible -- turning his natural anger over her indiscretion into a character flaw on his part? What kind of man wouldn't be jealous to have two other men actively and openly attempting to steal away his girl, including one she'd already cheated with? Not to mention the tired and played out plotline of "good guys forced to do evil by the bad guys, and there's no other choice!" There's always a choice, and this is getting just as old in Real Vampires as it is on The Vampire Diaries.

[Archer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very happy to say that this book was just as great as the rest have been. I think it would be fun to have Glory as a friend, she's impossible to not like. Jerry is so very stubborn but loyal to Glory, I feel that he can be to controlling at times, and Rafe well he's just a smoking hot shifter who loves her, and then there is Ray who's the tortured artistic type who caues all of own problems yet you just want to see if you can fix him.

I'm glad I started this series, and can't wait for the next book after reading the little preview at the end of this one.

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely Love Glory! I have managed to read all of the books in thisseries and I have to say they just keep getting more and more interesting! I am torn however as I am wondering if this series will start to fizzle out as the books go on. It seems as though there has to be an ending somewher..right? I am interested to see where Glory will end up..and with whom she will end up with :)

Dynamic characters and funny story lines make this series a must read!!!!!

5 STARS from me!!!!!

Happy Reading

[Amanda (The Literary Hoarders) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always been a fan of Gerry Bartlett's series but the last few ones have been a little on the ok side but this one renewed by faith in her and I really like that the story seems to be going somewhere now. All the faves of course are back but except for my Damian is missing only to be mentioned at the beginning but I think he might be smart on his end cause anyone that around Glory tends to get caught up in her drama. I am excited to read next book now that it seems there is more to Glory than we thought.

[Catherine Crook · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series is just so great! In this book, you see the conflict with all the men in Glory's life. But, you see characters develop within themselves, and work together for a greater good (or evil, I guess!) Also, I usually do not like when an author introduces a new character that seems to be a major player so late into the series, but Gerry does it so well. I feared I would not like Lilly, and I adore her. And man, oh man do I love Penny. :-) GO GERRY!!! Excited to read the next one... Then, I will be waiting til March, or is it May?

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really love these book and this time Glory is faced with a heck of a lot more excitement when Lucifer himself shows up, wanting her to go dark. In order to protect Rafe, she has to make a deal with the Devil but she has some special Angels and friends who love her, watching her back. In this exciting novel, we bounce from one thrill to another, leaving us with drooling anticipation for the next high, not to mention Gerry Bartlett's next novel. What joy, excitement, thrill, etc. and tale of adventure this author sends us on!