Aisa Kabhi Nahi Hota / ایسا کبھی نھیں ہوتا

by Umera Ahmed

Aisa Kabhi Nahi Hota (English: This Never Happens) is a humorous story about a silly and naive girl named Sana and her quest to find a man to fall in love with and marry.
It first appeared in Kiran Digest, now it has been published as part of a three story collection in the book Zindagi Gulzar Hai. It was first published in Kiran Digest with the title Pagal Aankhon Wali Larki (English: The Girl with Mad Eyes).

44 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 1998

About the author

Umera Ahmed is one of the most widely-read and popular Urdu fiction novelist and screenplay writer of this era.
She completed her Masters in English Literature from Murray College, Sialkot. Later she became an English language lecturer for the students of O and A levels at Army Public College, Sialkot. However she left the job a few years back in order to devote her full attention to writing.
She began her writing career in 1998 at a quite young age. Her initial stories were published in monthly urdu digests and later came out in the form of books. She has written about 16 books , comprising of complete novels and compilations of short stories. However it was her novel "Peer-e-Kaamil (S.A.W.W)" which became her identity.

Reviews

[Sara Saif · Rating 5 out of 5]

"!ایسا واقعی کبھی نھیں ھوتا"

A short, cheerful story by Umera Ahmed which is a rarity. Most of her work is heavy and humor-free. This was simply hilarious. It's packed with laugh-out-loud moments and you can't help but have fun. As for what I wrote in the very first line, it is true. The story isn't meant to be taken seriously because it is often nonsensical and silly.

So we have Sana, a 20-year old who is completely useless when it comes to anything but using her tongue. She fancies the idea of "love-marriage" and with her band of four fellow conspirators, she sets out to find a guy to fall in love with. Comedy ensues.

It was easier to compare myself with her and figure out when she was being outlandish because we are both the same age. The opening scene was the best where her mother was chastising her for not being gharelu. It was one of the exact same arguments I have with my mother on a daily basis!

Just today when I was reading this:

Exhibit A:

جب لوگ پوچھیں کہ سارہ پورا وقت گھر میں کیا کرتی ھے تو میں انھیں یہ بتاوں کہ وہ ہر وقت کتابیں پڑھتی رھتی ھے؟

A few hours later...

Exhibit B:

شرم کرو سارہ تمھارے پھٹے کپڑے بھی میں نے صحیح کرنے تھے تو تمھیں سلاءی سکھانےکا فاءدہ؟ بس ہر وقت کتابیں پڑھ کر کھی کھی کرتی رھا کرو

Like any obedient daughter, I listen to these with one ear and filter them out with another. I'll have you know that unlike miss Sana here, I can cook, clean, sew and have never failed any subject in my life thankyouverymuch.

If you are a girl like me, I suggest you go ahead and read it. You are bound to have a great time!

[Shabana Mukhtar · Rating 5 out of 5]

The sole humour-only story by Umera. She's a magician. And she did wonders with this very typical story, and typical ending.

Every girl who reads can relate to the protagonist. A must read.

edited: Nov 1, 2019
This deserved a longer review. I've posted the same on my blog here.

[Sobia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hahaha :D Naughty and silly girls :P
This is the story about a girl who is interested in love marriage and conspires to trap handsome and rich men in order to find one for herself. :D The story is unrealistic and justifies the title "Aisa Kbhi Nahi Hota" in a humorous and light manner.
P.S. I enjoyed it :D

[مومنہ❀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious & thoughtful

[Minalreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yr ye buht hi cute novella thi. It can be easily read in one sitting and if you're looking for a light read. This is for you

[GZ · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only characteristic of the book that stood out was the humor dispersed in the plot. I knew from the very beginning how the story was going to proceed, and I only finished the book to verify how what I thought was right.

[Lubat · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a short novella that's filled with so much humour, Sadii is honestly such a treat to read , though story kafi predictable hai still i will say seeing this funny side of Umera was a blessing. One can complete it in one sitting only.

[Warda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cute novella, if you are looking for a light story, here it is and you can read it in one sit. ✨
Tho the name is reality check "Aisa kabhi nhi hota" 😂

[Maryem · Rating 2 out of 5]

ak aisa funny novl jis ko parh k bilkul b hnsi nhe i

[Nazish Islam · Rating 1 out of 5]

Aisa bhi hota hai parh kar ap ka time waste ho jata hai