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When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered
Tens of thousands of women in the U.S. and Canada have laughed, wept, and learned together at Time Out for Women events. Now you can share the spirit of those occasions with this Time Out mini-book. When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered offers piercing insights into the Lord's dealings with His children, and helps us learn to trust His timetable.
64 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 21, 2006
14 people are currently reading
602 people want to read
About the author
S. Michael Wilcox
53 books143 followersS. Michael Wilcox is an instructor at the institute of religion adjacent to the University of Utah. A frequent speaker at Brigham Young University Education Week, Michael also conducts tours of the Holy Land, Church history sites, Europe, China, and Central America. He received a bachelor’s degree in English literature from Brigham Young University, a master’s in media from the University of Arizona, and his Ph.D. from the University of Colorado in educational philosophy. He is the author of House of Glory and When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 151 reviews
July 13, 2024
God and I are good, but this did make me a little teary.
November 20, 2022
i probably think about the story of God creating a holding place in our hearts in order to answer certain prayers almost weekly.
short read. you can also just YouTube Fourth Watch God by Wilcox and watch him give this speech.
short read. you can also just YouTube Fourth Watch God by Wilcox and watch him give this speech.
February 20, 2011
I started taking a class from S. Michael Wilcox recently. He's officially retired from teaching institute, but he still teaches on Wednesday afternoons in a stake center in Draper, just for fun. I was told that he's been teaching there for around 15 years. It fills up in the chapel, and way into the overflow. Mostly it's older people, probably because the time of day (1:30-3:00) is not easy to attend for people with jobs or moms with little kids, or kids in school. And babysitters are all still in school themselves.
I just wanted to take an institute class, and found out right away about this unofficial class, which isn't even listed anywhere - you just have to hear about it by word of mouth. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old that I clearly couldn't take with me. So I thought, "Heavenly Father, I'd like to take this class. How can I do it?" Two days later I found out about a brand new program the military offers now for spouses of deployed soldiers. I qualified for up to 16 hours of free daycare per month, per kid. So now I take my kids to a daycare in American Fork on Wednesday afternoons, and head to Draper for my class. Tell me that's not a fast answer to a prayer. I only mention that because this book is called "When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered". It's ironic in a good way, right? :-)
Anyway, our library says it has a dozen books by Brother Wilcox, but I found exactly three that were actually on the shelves in the right place. This was one of them, and it's a short read. It covers the exact same topics (and has the same title) as some addresses he's given at different conferences that you can download at byub.org. I had listened to this talk right after I recently miscarried two days after Dale left for a year in Iraq. (I listened to the talk about four days after the miscarriage.) I found a lot of comfort in his "tight like a dish" analogy. (I can't explain it. You just have to read the book or listen to the talk.) It was exactly what I heard in a blessing my neighbor gave me as well. I give that a lot of credit for why I recovered emotionally so quickly from the entire experience. It was nice to read it all again, because Brother Wilcox lays everything out so well, and it makes so much sense.
So now anyone who reads this review will know about the top secret (ok, not really, since half the city attends) institute class that he teaches Wednesday afternoons in Draper. See you there, people.
I just wanted to take an institute class, and found out right away about this unofficial class, which isn't even listed anywhere - you just have to hear about it by word of mouth. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old that I clearly couldn't take with me. So I thought, "Heavenly Father, I'd like to take this class. How can I do it?" Two days later I found out about a brand new program the military offers now for spouses of deployed soldiers. I qualified for up to 16 hours of free daycare per month, per kid. So now I take my kids to a daycare in American Fork on Wednesday afternoons, and head to Draper for my class. Tell me that's not a fast answer to a prayer. I only mention that because this book is called "When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered". It's ironic in a good way, right? :-)
Anyway, our library says it has a dozen books by Brother Wilcox, but I found exactly three that were actually on the shelves in the right place. This was one of them, and it's a short read. It covers the exact same topics (and has the same title) as some addresses he's given at different conferences that you can download at byub.org. I had listened to this talk right after I recently miscarried two days after Dale left for a year in Iraq. (I listened to the talk about four days after the miscarriage.) I found a lot of comfort in his "tight like a dish" analogy. (I can't explain it. You just have to read the book or listen to the talk.) It was exactly what I heard in a blessing my neighbor gave me as well. I give that a lot of credit for why I recovered emotionally so quickly from the entire experience. It was nice to read it all again, because Brother Wilcox lays everything out so well, and it makes so much sense.
So now anyone who reads this review will know about the top secret (ok, not really, since half the city attends) institute class that he teaches Wednesday afternoons in Draper. See you there, people.
December 29, 2024
This is an excellent book! We may not always like the answers, but truly, it is what you do with what you are handed - God does not give bad gifts. I've remembered the chorus of one of teen Donny Osmond's songs : LIFE IS JUST WHAT YOU MAKE IT. So true! I also liked the concept of the fourth watch - again, not our time table, which can be such a stumbling block, along with wanting an answer (we like, of course) for everything. I once attended a BYU Education Week class taught by S. Michael Wilcox and it was one of my favorites. He teaches with much compassion.
December 31, 2025
Short and very sweet. I honestly could never tire of his stories and perspective on the scriptures.
November 19, 2021
This was short and so so sweet! I loved the image of God being the beginning and the ending. Through him there will be an end to death, sorrow, and suffering. There are so many lovely truths to ponder from this book!
October 28, 2021
Short, but full of good ideas. Our timing of when we want things to happen is seldom God’s timing.
December 28, 2011
This book is only about 60 pages but those 60 pages pack a punch! A spiritual punch of course! I loved it! It was a great read for anyone who has ever felt like God isn't hearing you or has bad reception. Favorite part of the book was when Wilcox talked about The Fourth Watch.
"A New Testament day was divided into twelve hours, beginning at six in the morning. The third hour would be nine o'clock, the sixth hour would be noon, and the eleventh hour, though we visualize it as being just before midnight, actually was five o'clock in the evening. The night was divided into four watches. The first watch was from six in the evening until nine at night. The second watch was nine until midnight, the third watch from midnight until three in the morning, and the fourth watch was from three in the morning until six, about sunrise. The Savior had just fed the five thousand. He instructed his disciples to get into a boat and pick him up later, after he had dismissed the multitude and later spent some solitude in prayer. The disciples obeyed. It was late afternoon or early evening when they got into the ship and pushed out into the Sea of Galilee. Jesus sent the multitude home and then turned to communion with his Father. He prayed into the evening and long into the night. In the meantime, a storm had swept down on the disciples in their voyage: "And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing: for the wind was contrary unto them" (Mark 6:47-48). In Matthew's version it says, "The ship was...tossed with waves" (Matthew 14:24), and in John's account we read: "And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs..." (John 6:18-19). A furlong is about 220 to 225 yards. So if they have rowed 25 to 30 furlongs, they've rowed about 65 to 70 football fields, into a wind during the storm. As would be expected, they are exhausted and fearful. Mark's version adds one tiny little point that the others don't, something I think is really important. Mark relates that Jesus "saw them toiling in rowing" (Mark 6:48). They did not know that he was aware of their danger. They did not know that he was aware of their danger. They didn't realize he was up on the hill looking down watching them. They only knew that they had rowed a long time, the wind remaining contrary, that they were exhausted, and that they needed help. And then we read: "About the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea,...[and] they...saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid. And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased" (Mark 6:48-51). When we feel somewhat desperate, when it seems like your prayers aren't answered and the wind still blows, take comfort in the knowledge that he is on the hillside watching. Remember, you might not know that he's watching as you struggle in the boat, but he is on the hillside watching, and he will come. But he generally comes in the fourth watch--after we have done all we can do."
Pg. 7-8 and 13
"A New Testament day was divided into twelve hours, beginning at six in the morning. The third hour would be nine o'clock, the sixth hour would be noon, and the eleventh hour, though we visualize it as being just before midnight, actually was five o'clock in the evening. The night was divided into four watches. The first watch was from six in the evening until nine at night. The second watch was nine until midnight, the third watch from midnight until three in the morning, and the fourth watch was from three in the morning until six, about sunrise. The Savior had just fed the five thousand. He instructed his disciples to get into a boat and pick him up later, after he had dismissed the multitude and later spent some solitude in prayer. The disciples obeyed. It was late afternoon or early evening when they got into the ship and pushed out into the Sea of Galilee. Jesus sent the multitude home and then turned to communion with his Father. He prayed into the evening and long into the night. In the meantime, a storm had swept down on the disciples in their voyage: "And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing: for the wind was contrary unto them" (Mark 6:47-48). In Matthew's version it says, "The ship was...tossed with waves" (Matthew 14:24), and in John's account we read: "And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs..." (John 6:18-19). A furlong is about 220 to 225 yards. So if they have rowed 25 to 30 furlongs, they've rowed about 65 to 70 football fields, into a wind during the storm. As would be expected, they are exhausted and fearful. Mark's version adds one tiny little point that the others don't, something I think is really important. Mark relates that Jesus "saw them toiling in rowing" (Mark 6:48). They did not know that he was aware of their danger. They did not know that he was aware of their danger. They didn't realize he was up on the hill looking down watching them. They only knew that they had rowed a long time, the wind remaining contrary, that they were exhausted, and that they needed help. And then we read: "About the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea,...[and] they...saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid. And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased" (Mark 6:48-51). When we feel somewhat desperate, when it seems like your prayers aren't answered and the wind still blows, take comfort in the knowledge that he is on the hillside watching. Remember, you might not know that he's watching as you struggle in the boat, but he is on the hillside watching, and he will come. But he generally comes in the fourth watch--after we have done all we can do."
Pg. 7-8 and 13
May 4, 2015
Loved this book. Particularly 3 of the insights.
1. The reminder that God only gives good gifts to His children...that sometimes the gift He gives us is not the gift we expected or wanted and we consider it to be a stone instead of bread, a scorpion instead of an egg (Luke 11:11-13). He talks about C.S. Lewis who said there are two types of good...the expected good and the given good. If we aren't careful, we may turn the given good into something bad through our attitudes.
2. He shares the story found in Mark 6, John 6, and Matthew 14...the Savior fed the 5,000 and his disciples were instructed to get into a boat and pick him up later. A storm arose and they are tired and afraid. He quotes Mark 6:48-51... Christ came to them in the fourth watch, walking on the water and calmed the seas. Brother Wilcox says that those disciples would probably have liked him to come sooner...in the 1st or 2nd watch...not the 4th....He writes, "It is good to toil in rowing against the wind-that there's something to be gained by exercising spiritual muscles that are stretched in facing trials....it appears that we worship a 4th watch God. And it is important for us to realize we worship a 4th watch God." We often mistakenly assume when He doesn't answer right away that He is not listening, or He isn't there, or we are not worthy... But we can take comfort that He is on the hillside watching...and He will come....in the 4th watch after we have done all we can do.
3. He then goes on to talk about the Jaredites and their barges. In Ether 2:17, it emphasizes repeatedly that their ships were tight like a dish. In other words, it wasn't going to sink. God had seen the storms they would face and that they would be sent under the depths of the sea and blown to and for. In Ether 2:25 he explains that he prepares them to face these winds, this journey. Elder Wilcox says, "Given the choice between helping us by calming the storms or preparing us before they ever come, which do you think The Lord prefers? He's a 4th watch God, He's also a tight-like-a-dish God. If we arrive at the 4th watch and he has not come, what do we know about our ships? THEY ARE TIGHT LIKE A DISH. Our Father in Heaven already foresaw all the storms, complete with their mountain waves. He foresaw all the problems, all the disappointments and frustrations, the temptations and trials of life; and before the wind ever started to blow, he prepared us to withstand it. We're not going to sink. We're going to be all right....If He doesn't still the storm, if He doesn't come by the 4th watch, we know our vessels are tight like a dish."
Great insights.
1. The reminder that God only gives good gifts to His children...that sometimes the gift He gives us is not the gift we expected or wanted and we consider it to be a stone instead of bread, a scorpion instead of an egg (Luke 11:11-13). He talks about C.S. Lewis who said there are two types of good...the expected good and the given good. If we aren't careful, we may turn the given good into something bad through our attitudes.
2. He shares the story found in Mark 6, John 6, and Matthew 14...the Savior fed the 5,000 and his disciples were instructed to get into a boat and pick him up later. A storm arose and they are tired and afraid. He quotes Mark 6:48-51... Christ came to them in the fourth watch, walking on the water and calmed the seas. Brother Wilcox says that those disciples would probably have liked him to come sooner...in the 1st or 2nd watch...not the 4th....He writes, "It is good to toil in rowing against the wind-that there's something to be gained by exercising spiritual muscles that are stretched in facing trials....it appears that we worship a 4th watch God. And it is important for us to realize we worship a 4th watch God." We often mistakenly assume when He doesn't answer right away that He is not listening, or He isn't there, or we are not worthy... But we can take comfort that He is on the hillside watching...and He will come....in the 4th watch after we have done all we can do.
3. He then goes on to talk about the Jaredites and their barges. In Ether 2:17, it emphasizes repeatedly that their ships were tight like a dish. In other words, it wasn't going to sink. God had seen the storms they would face and that they would be sent under the depths of the sea and blown to and for. In Ether 2:25 he explains that he prepares them to face these winds, this journey. Elder Wilcox says, "Given the choice between helping us by calming the storms or preparing us before they ever come, which do you think The Lord prefers? He's a 4th watch God, He's also a tight-like-a-dish God. If we arrive at the 4th watch and he has not come, what do we know about our ships? THEY ARE TIGHT LIKE A DISH. Our Father in Heaven already foresaw all the storms, complete with their mountain waves. He foresaw all the problems, all the disappointments and frustrations, the temptations and trials of life; and before the wind ever started to blow, he prepared us to withstand it. We're not going to sink. We're going to be all right....If He doesn't still the storm, if He doesn't come by the 4th watch, we know our vessels are tight like a dish."
Great insights.
February 27, 2013
I came across this book at a time in my life when I was discouraged and needed to feel that my prayers were being heard. There's a lot of helpful information in this short book.
It's hard to explain but I like this description from Deseret Book: "The wind was fierce, and the disciples of Jesus had long rowed against it before the Lord finally came to them, walking on the water in the fourth watch of the night-somewhere between 3:00 and 6:00 A.M. In this talk on CD, Michael Wilcox compares this with our own experiences in challenging times. When our trials go on indefinitely, we should not assume that God does not hear our prayers, or that He does not care, or that we are unworthy. Perhaps we have not yet reached the 'fourth watch.' This comforting message increases our faith and patience, offers profound hope and solace, and explains how the Lord often works with us."
The Fourth Watch is a powerful concept and he goes beyond that to help us understand what's happening when we arrive at the Fourth Watch and God still hasn't come. That's when we know we're tight like a dish (Ether). He also talks about holding places--sometimes we need more life experiences before we are given the answers we're looking for and he shares his experience with his father who abandoned their family when he was young. I love this quote from this section: "Occasionally, answers aren't given or the blessings we desire don't come or the trials we bear continue because there is no place in our hearts for God to put the answer we need. Life must carve or hollow out this place. The very experiences we are going through help to create these holding places. Yet he still hears our prayers and promises the resolution will come in time."
There are lots of great nuggets in this book and I highlighted the last two pages. I'm feeling much better these days. And no, my trials haven't all disappeared. I have gained a new perspective on them and know that God is mindful of my life. I also love that the title is When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered and not When Your Prayers Go Unanswered. We have the assurance that our prayers are answered in God's time and we need to be willing to learn what will help us become the best we can along the way!
Mel's Shelves
It's hard to explain but I like this description from Deseret Book: "The wind was fierce, and the disciples of Jesus had long rowed against it before the Lord finally came to them, walking on the water in the fourth watch of the night-somewhere between 3:00 and 6:00 A.M. In this talk on CD, Michael Wilcox compares this with our own experiences in challenging times. When our trials go on indefinitely, we should not assume that God does not hear our prayers, or that He does not care, or that we are unworthy. Perhaps we have not yet reached the 'fourth watch.' This comforting message increases our faith and patience, offers profound hope and solace, and explains how the Lord often works with us."
The Fourth Watch is a powerful concept and he goes beyond that to help us understand what's happening when we arrive at the Fourth Watch and God still hasn't come. That's when we know we're tight like a dish (Ether). He also talks about holding places--sometimes we need more life experiences before we are given the answers we're looking for and he shares his experience with his father who abandoned their family when he was young. I love this quote from this section: "Occasionally, answers aren't given or the blessings we desire don't come or the trials we bear continue because there is no place in our hearts for God to put the answer we need. Life must carve or hollow out this place. The very experiences we are going through help to create these holding places. Yet he still hears our prayers and promises the resolution will come in time."
There are lots of great nuggets in this book and I highlighted the last two pages. I'm feeling much better these days. And no, my trials haven't all disappeared. I have gained a new perspective on them and know that God is mindful of my life. I also love that the title is When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered and not When Your Prayers Go Unanswered. We have the assurance that our prayers are answered in God's time and we need to be willing to learn what will help us become the best we can along the way!
Mel's Shelves
September 22, 2008
I learned that our God is a "4th watch" God. This and many more things. I love listening to it in the car.
January 7, 2009
GREAT book!!!!!
Read
July 20, 2024This book is a gem. I read it the week that a lot of horrible things happened, and this puts things into a perspective I have NEVER before realized.
April 25, 2024
Good little book. Quick read, and worth it. I really liked the main thrust of his argument, that it’s not that God isn’t answering prayer, but rather that he’s allowing the right conditions to be formed for his answer. Just as Jesus didn’t quickly walk out to the disciples’ boat in the storm, but rather waited till “the fourth watch”, God comes to us not always immediately, but when he can be most helpful and in a way that allows us some spiritual growth.
I recently read St. John of the Cross’s “Dark Night of the Soul”, and found some good parallels in these two authors’ arguments. John tells us that God’s best blessings and answers come after a “dark night” in which our soul feels so distant from God, as though he had completely abandoned us. But after that, he shows us he was there all along, giving us exquisite spiritual experience that can be gained no other way.
I also appreciated his lengthy quote from C.S. Lewis’s “The Great Divorce”, explaining that Heaven and hell are as much now as future, and they are what we choose for ourselves by the kind of people we choose to be. Lewis suggests that these are states of being, perhaps more so than physical places, but that when it’s all said and done, those who have followed Christ will say “we have always lived in Heaven” whilst those who choose evil will say “we have always lived in hell.”
This is an inspirational little book, based off a talk or series of talks.
I recently read St. John of the Cross’s “Dark Night of the Soul”, and found some good parallels in these two authors’ arguments. John tells us that God’s best blessings and answers come after a “dark night” in which our soul feels so distant from God, as though he had completely abandoned us. But after that, he shows us he was there all along, giving us exquisite spiritual experience that can be gained no other way.
I also appreciated his lengthy quote from C.S. Lewis’s “The Great Divorce”, explaining that Heaven and hell are as much now as future, and they are what we choose for ourselves by the kind of people we choose to be. Lewis suggests that these are states of being, perhaps more so than physical places, but that when it’s all said and done, those who have followed Christ will say “we have always lived in Heaven” whilst those who choose evil will say “we have always lived in hell.”
This is an inspirational little book, based off a talk or series of talks.
August 14, 2024
Really good. Wilcox is really good, and keeps you interested to the end, making you want to learn more. I love his perspective on how he looks at what it means for God to answer us in His own timeline. How he gives examples that we might not get prayers answered when we want them, but they will be answered at the perfect time.
This principle is taught a lot in the church, and sometimes we don't always believe it until it happens to us. Sometimes I still struggle with this, and it's good to have some reassurance, even if it's hard. Sometimes all you can hope for is that there will be light at the end of the tunnel of it all. Either way, it's nice to know that prayers can be answered, and it's possible, even if it takes a very long time.
This principle is taught a lot in the church, and sometimes we don't always believe it until it happens to us. Sometimes I still struggle with this, and it's good to have some reassurance, even if it's hard. Sometimes all you can hope for is that there will be light at the end of the tunnel of it all. Either way, it's nice to know that prayers can be answered, and it's possible, even if it takes a very long time.
October 19, 2024
A number of years ago Elder John Pingree brought this book to my home, saying he felt it was a book I would love….& LOVE it I did!!! I recently gave a copy of it to my sister. I decided I wanted to read it again, too. What a treasured blessing!!! It is a short book, but it is packed with wise gems I want to ponder and apply in my life.
May 23, 2017
Really uplifting. Loved the examples he uses, both scriptural and personal, to illustrate his points. I feel like I should go back through this book again with my scriptures open and make some margin notes to remember the principles in this book.
July 17, 2019
This is a short yet powerful read. I love the analogy of the fourth watch. I also like the idea that we need to create space to receive the answer sometimes. While I want an answer now, God might be saying "now isn't the right time"
May 26, 2020
I needed this book more than I thought I would. I was prompted to read it, and I can see why. It gave a lot towards what I was praying and seeking for. It laid a spiritual foundation for me for new knowledge.
Definitely a great read!
Definitely a great read!
December 27, 2020
Powerful Message
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered if their prayers are being heard. Wilcox explains in a powerful way that God is always watching and helps us at just the right time every time. Great writing. Great book.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered if their prayers are being heard. Wilcox explains in a powerful way that God is always watching and helps us at just the right time every time. Great writing. Great book.
May 7, 2025
Format: Hardcover
Brother Wilcox does a beautiful job sharing his insights into a very complex topic. He had some wonderful ideas that I'd never considered before, and I especially loved how he incorporated stories both from the scriptures and from his own experiences.
Brother Wilcox does a beautiful job sharing his insights into a very complex topic. He had some wonderful ideas that I'd never considered before, and I especially loved how he incorporated stories both from the scriptures and from his own experiences.
August 22, 2017
Short, but very sweet, this book has some great insights into who we are and our relationship with God.
February 5, 2018
Uplifting and inspiring. I especially loved the concept of the Fourth Watch God.
February 12, 2018
Another home-run by Wilcox. His writing style is very easy for me to read and absorb. He addresses the hard questions without coming across condescending or demeaning.
April 2, 2018
Very inspirational! Based off his talk of "The Fourth Watch God."
August 8, 2019
.
This book adapted from a talk S. Michael Wilcox gave at TOFW was uplifting and powerful. His insight into the scriptures is unique and makes the scriptures feel new again.
This book adapted from a talk S. Michael Wilcox gave at TOFW was uplifting and powerful. His insight into the scriptures is unique and makes the scriptures feel new again.
February 18, 2020
It was a good quick read. It had some good insights and I'm glad I bought it. I'll be reading it again.
June 16, 2020
I absolutely loved this book. I let someone borrow it and haven't gotten it back. I love the book so much I'm going to purchase it again.
December 5, 2020
Quick easy read.
February 11, 2023
Brother Wilcox's teachings changed the way I look at lots of things. Helps me understand scripture better.
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