Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man

by Chaz Bono

Bono delivers a groundbreaking and candid account of his 40-year struggle to match his gender identity with his physical body, and his transformation from female to male.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, LGBT, Biography Memoir, Gender, Queer

Audio CD

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Chaz Salvatore Bono was born Chastity Sun Bono, the only child from entertainer Cher's marriage to Sonny Bono.

After over a decade of being publicly out as a lesbian, Chaz began transitioning in mid-2008 and continues his work as an LGBT advocate.

Reviews

[Ocean · Rating 2 out of 5]

oh, chaz. oh, there are so many things about this book that irritated me. let me count them!

1. okay, i'm not one of those people who thinks that one must live a truly extraordinary life to write a good memoir. i think that, if one has an eye for detail, a love for the absurd, and the ability to tell a good story, one can write a brilliant memoir about waiting for the bus or going to the grocery store or whatever. chaz has none of those talents and he's "written" (i use quotes because he had a ghostwriter help him!) THREE memoirs. he really has not done enough, or had enough interesting thoughts about his limited life experience, to write three memoirs!

2. on that note...he has NO storytelling abilities. more than one story of meeting a girlfriend goes something like, "she was beautiful. she was 5'4" and average build. i was in love with her!" it's like, really, chaz? you think it's so important that your readers know that your girlfriend was an extremely average height, but won't tell us anything actually interesting about her??! like maybe why you loved her? like, can you describe anything you like about her besides "she was feminine. she wore makeup and shaved her legs." ooookay.

3. early on in the book, chaz makes a statement how if your gender in your brain doesn't match the gender in your body, the ONLY way you can live a full and happy life is to medically transition. no, it's not, chaz! ever hear of genderqueers? ever hear of people who aren't the child of millionaires and can't afford to transition and struggle on anyway and manage to live? ever get the concept that gender is a spectrum? UGH. i understand what he's saying, but it seems kinda fucked that he's making statements about the ONLY way to live. life is not black and white!

4. on that note, he has NO consciousness of how unbelievably privileged he is. and how many trans people face really harsh financial barriers to employment, transition, etc. i can understand why he's stressed about the paparazzi hassling him, and he certainly has taken a beating in the tabeloids for being an out transperson. but, geez, i wish he could come to my job at the welfare office and hang out with the transpeeps trying to live on their $674-a-month SSI payments because they are not considered employable (yes, you can get SSI--a federal disability payment--for "gender identity disorder", if the government thinks your gender nonconformity makes it not possible to find a job). maybe that would put things in perspective.

5. DONT THROW FAT PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS! not ok for ANYONE. he made some bitchy comment about having a nudist roommate and how "unfortunately, her body made her nudity unenjoyable." (not a direct quote, but the gist of it) fuck you!

6. he repeats himself ALLL the time--sometimes twice in one paragraph! yes, chaz, we know that you are the child of celebrities. we know that you used to be a cute little girl. we knew the first time you said it that you've felt like a guy your whole life. you don't have to tell us like 20 times!

7. he blames every single problem in his life on being trans. i'm not saying that being trans is a walk in the park, or that it doesn't/shouldn't affect many aspects of his life, but when he blamed his severe cramps/endometriosis on being trans, and feeling uncomfortable with his womanly parts, i had to give my eyes a big old roll. lots of women who have no issues with their gender get really bad cramps, too. in fact, most people with uteri can agree that they're pretty much landmines. unfortunately, to have a uterus often means that one will have some monthly suffering, regardless of your relationship to yr gender. or when he said that he was unable to make small talk at parties because he was gender non-conforming! and now that he's a guy he can make smalltalk! argh, my head exploded.

okay. there are some good things too. good for you, chaz, for sticking yr neck out. for coming out publicly. for making some extremely isolated trans people feel less alone. for writing a book that's accessible to a lot of people. i laughed aloud at one thing that i think was supposed to be funny--i think it was the statement about realizing that the trans community is a community of nerds. good for you for admitting past wrongs. for trying to rectify yr mistakes. for living through bad things. i really wish you'd written about your involvement with the most amazing 90's lesbian movie of all time, BAR GIRLS!! why did you tantalize me with that snippet about working at girlbar, the bar where it all started, but not mention that movie?!? oh well.

anyway, the good parts are why i gave it 2 stars. there were more things i had to say, but i forgot.

[Lisette Brodey · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a rule, I never read other people's reviews before I write my own as I never want to be influenced by others. In this case, because of the nature of Chaz's story, I was curious to see how others had responded. I'll get back to that.

I read this book because I remember when Chastity Bono came out as a lesbian and I remember reading when Chas became Chaz. I knew absolutely nothing of what had transpired between those two events and so was interested in Chaz' book.

While I knew nothing of Chaz' story, I am not ignorant about transgendered people and have two friends with siblings who have transitioned (in very different ways). Everyone's story is different, but as Chaz says, it is very much what is between the ears that is important, not what is between the legs.

As Chaz states, he chose to write this book (and agree to a documentary) because if he didn't, there was no way to avoid the tabloids. Better to take control over one's own story, for sure.

The book was well written and well paced. I respect the choices Chaz has made and why he wants to keep some things private. Just because someone has chosen to write a memoir, I don't think that they need to reveal every last personal detail -- not at all.

I don't agree with a lot of the reviews, but I'm not here to dispute them. For me, the book satisfied my curiosity and left me with the strong feeling that Chaz will remain very happy with his decision. I wish him well and admire his advocacy work a great deal.

And that's about all I have to say.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a powerful book for me. My sister was born into the body of a man. She said that she knew that she was in the "wrong" body since she was little. Being on the outside of this and looking back at her growing up, it is easy to see that this was true for her. But I had no true idea of the pain that she was having emotionally. We talked as adults about what she was feeling.
The changes, hormones and life changes that she was doing to help to realize her true self finally. I can honestly say that I heard her and took in what she said but I heard it as coming from my sister, to hear the same words coming from Chaz was like a blow to me. Making the pain that she (my sister)had been feeling somehow all the more powerful to me.

My sister is no longer alive. She made the choice to end her pain a few years ago. Being Transgendered was a piece of that pain and part of the reason for her choice.

If you know or love someone that may be Transgendered, this is a important book to read. If you are simply curious about what it may mean to be Transgendered, then it may be even more important.

[Stitching Ghost]

Ugh, that's pretty much all I have to say about my reading experience.

No rating because I don't rate memoirs but I would not recommend this one. I know that things have changed since 2011 but a lot of Bono's take feel straight out of the 90s and the style is plodding and uninspired.

Edited for clarity: the fact that Bono is trans plays exactly no part into why I didn't enjoy his book. The reason I found this one unenjoyable is in the small things such as him including, for no discernable reason, an anecdote about a roommate whose body made her nudity not enjoyable to him or saying things like "testosterone will make me more logical" and the general phoned-in feeling of the whole book. There's nothing wrong with his trans experience but some of the generalities he derives from it are dated and dubious.

[Nates Pop · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to find a friend who has read this because I really want to discuss it. I don't want to sound flip or unnecessarily mean so let me begin by saying that I was so excited to read it and actually made the big leap to purchase a hard cover. As a gay man, I was intrigued to hear the behind the scenes thought process and the storyline that leads up to a decision to transition. I began reading already feeling supportive of Chaz Bono.

This is not that book. As other readers have said it is poorly written but I could forgive that if I felt like it was Chaz's story of "How I Became a Man". Instead its an autobiography of a person who hasn't done enough yet to merit an egaging autobiography. The history of his girlfriends or his desire to become an actor or even the abusive nanny has nothing to do with why he supposedly wrote this book. The transition part of the book doesn't even get rolling till the last chapters and even then he cops out by saying he doesn't want to discuss whether or not he has had the bottom surgery. Chaz says its a private matter. I disagree; if you're writing a book on transitioning you can't decide that the details of the transition are not for the reader.

I hesitate to say this, but I finished the book feeling rather distrustful of Chaz and his motivations. He does a lot of writing about trying to dodge the media spotlight and the hounding press but has sought out an acting career, a recording career whose failure he admits caused him years of regret, participated in a reality show in the hopes of reviving his career, pitched other shows... I spent a lot of time feeling like there was a lot more to read between the lines of this book.

The element that gives me the greatest pause is that I never heard a man's voice while reading this book. I definitely always felt I was reading a book by a lesbian and not of a man caught in the wrong body. Especially the numerous quick move-in romances...it all just made me distrustful of the author.

I'll just finish by saying that I saw the OWN documentary and Chaz comes across better on camera and I wish him much happiness. But maybe you should watch that if you're interested because I don't think the book will give you much insight.

[Cal]

I think that Chaz Bono makes some disturbing generalizations in the introduction of his book that can be at least providing folks with misinformation, and at worst, alienating some transgender folks. In page 2 of the prologue he says, "And when the sex of the brain and the sex of the body clash, then the only treatment is some form of transition from one gender to the other. Without this treatment, in my opinion, lives are never fully lived."

He doesn't really clarify that statement, so I'd like to assume that by saying "some form of transition" he means even just letting it be known what pronouns you prefer, or not restricting what you wear to uphold society's gender norms. I just think it is interesting that he uses the term "treatment", which is so clinical, and medical transition is not available to most transgender folks. Even he says in his book that he borrowed money for some of his surgeries, and he's more well off than most.

Anyways, apart from the dangers of individuals trying to be a voice for a diverse group of people, Bono's book was a little light on the gender talk, and way heavy on a self-indulgent walk down memory lane.

I would not recommend this book to folks who want to know more about what it can be like to live as a transgender individual.

[Mazola1 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps the most surprising thing about Chaz Bono's book Transition is how ordinary it is. While for most books this observation would be dismissive criticism, for this book, it's anything but. Transition might have been expected to be the typical celebrity tattletale memoir, a minor celebrity cashing in on moving in a world peopled with celebrities and superstars. After all, the author is the only child of pop icons Sonny and Cher, has been in the public eye since infancy, first came out as a lesbian amid much publicity, and then as a transgendered person amid even greater publicity. That life story would seem to have all the makings of a sensational Hollywood style autobiography replete with family secrets, gossip and scandal.

To his credit, that isn't the book Bono wrote. Instead, he wrote a memoir which makes his life seem rather unremarkable, the story of a person with problems and sorrows, hopes and dreams. Although Transition is represented as the story of how Bono transitioned from woman to man, it is actually an autobiography, and is not limited to the physical transition from woman to man. In this, Bono was very wise, because it puts his transgender transition into the broader context of his whole life. What emerges, oddly enough, given the rarity of the condition and the oddity of being born to such famous parents, is a life story that seems universal.

Bono writes about such mundane matters as difficulties in high school, conflicts with parents, relationships gone bad, worries about what to do for a living, problems fought and overcome, and less successful struggles. Because of the universal nature of these parts of life Bono's tale, one can almost forget about the transgender story and the famous parents. The genius of this book is that Bono is able to make those seemingly odd aspects of his life fit into an otherwise somewhat conventional life story. In this, he is able to connect to the human in us all, as each of us struggles with our own issues and problems.

Perhaps this air of ordinariness is what also makes Transition one of the best explanations in print of what it feels like to be transgendered. This is something I think most people, if they think about it at all, have great difficulty understanding. Transition is tells this story convincingly and clearly. So, although the writing certainly cannot be described as riveting or inspired, Transition is nonetheless an interesting and important book -- a contribution to helping us to understand those who are different from ourselves.

[Catherine · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you want to read an insightful book on gender, read Nina Here Nor There. There is just so much off about this memoir that I don't know where to begin. As someone that has struggled with society's gender binary my entire life and have read numerous memoirs and talked with others, something seemed off. I found myself thinking "What?", instead of "oh yeah, I know what that feels like". Glad I checked it out from the library.

[Novelwit2000 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now what can I say about this book? That it's revealing? That it's well written? That it's nicely paced? Well, YEAH I could say that. And a WHOLE LOT MORE!!!

But before I get too ahead of myself, I just want to commend Chaz for being such an exceptional writer!!!

I mean, this book was such a treat to read, that I finished it in less than three days! (And I'm usually the slow reader type--usually taking a month to read anything.) But there was NO WAY it was going to take me that long to read this! And that gives a LOT of credit to Chaz's ability to get down to the point and say what it is that he wants to say.

And believe me, it's a LOT.

And I'm sure there are things in this book that appeared in one of his earlier works--because in this bok, Chaz goes over coming out to his parents and what that was like.

But there is so much more to his story.

And I like that from very early on in Chaz's life that he felt (more or less) like a boy. Though perhaps he didn't always have the words for these feelings--preferring to have 'boy' friends and doing 'boy' things. Even to the point of preferring their clothes.

And in reading all this, it's like everything in Chaz's life was leading up to this 'transition' in becoming a man. It was like how her life unfolded, in how he presented his story, this seemed like a very natural inevitability.

So, it was like nothing in this book was ever really shocking. If anything, it just seems sorta shocking that it took this long for her to do it. You know, the 'transition'.

Only of course, there were a lot of things that maybe prevented Chaz from going forward with his transition. And he talks about it quite extensively--things like family and personal relationships and his being a 'pleaser' type of person, in that on a LOT of occasions, he's put other peoples needs above his own.

You get a lot of background about Chaz's upbringing--with having very famous parents. And her schooling--never knew that Chaz went to 'Performing Arts High School' in New York?

As well as her foray into the music world. (By the way, I remember buying that album or really cassette of 'Ceremony'--wasn't too shabby!) Regarding the music part of her life, there's a section about a shady music producer that kinda got to me. Along with a triumphant concert in Michigan.

Basically, I don't think Chaz leaves a stone unturned here. She comes off very real and honest to me with how she's presented her story and the people she cares about.

This book's a real winner!!! I hope a LOT of people read this. I know I'm certainly glad I did.


(Best of luck to you Chaz!!! So looking forward to what you have to write next!!!)

[CiderandRedRot · Rating 2 out of 5]

Chaz Bono seems like a decent enough bloke, with the meat of this book being the story of his FTM experience. Knowing that Bono has written two biogs before, the rehashing of his complicated relationships with ex-lovers and family - here seen through the lens of his body dysmorphia - is relevant but not always terribly engrossing. Essentially, while you always wish Chaz well, he's not the best storyteller, and there's an unacknowledged veil of wealthy privilege that shrouded this book for me.

[Tracy Schillemore · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are unclear about the difference between being gay or lesbian and being trans gender then this is a great book for you. Chaz Bono honestly reflects on her life as a trans gender person and frames his feelings and experiences in such a way that I found that I finally really got it.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chastity was the only child of the world-famous Sonny and Cher. She grew up in the spotlight, on her parents' show as a child and later in the tabloids. Then she made headlines when she came out as a lesbian in her twenties. Through all of this, Chastity felt like something just wasn't right. She never felt comfortable in her body or, really, anything related to being female. She finally realized that she was transgender, meaning that though she had a female body, her gender identity was male. This started a years-long process of soul-searching that ultimately led Chastity--now Chaz--to physically transition from female to male, using surgery and hormones. In this memoir, he reveals what it was like to feel like he was in the wrong body and all the obstacles he encountered on his journey from female to male.

This is certainly a very interesting story, as Chaz has had a very unique life. Growing up in the shadow of Sonny and Cher was one thing, but dealing with his sexuality and gender issues under the scrutiny his celebrity brought was a whole other issue. He had to deal with the usual aspects of coming out and transitioning--self-acceptance and explaining everything to family and friends, for instance--but everything was made more complicated by the fact that the tabloids were watching his every move. Chaz worried a great deal about how the public's reaction to his transition would affect his mother (his father had died by this point). Although I can't relate to any specific aspect of Chaz's story--the gender crisis or the celebrity--I definitely know what it's like to worry about disappointing my parents so I connected with that part of his memoir. Chaz is so open and honest about everything that I feel like I now have a much better understanding of what it's like to be transgender. Some parts of the memoir felt repetitive and almost lost my interest--namely, Chaz's constant internal struggle and inner dialogue about whether or not to become a man. I'm sure he struggled even more than it comes across in the book, but maybe it could have been summarized better. Still, I enjoyed this story and think it helped me getter a better grasp on an idea that's often misunderstood.

[Christa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have some friends that are trans, so I was interested in hearing about an account from a "famous" person on their experience. The amount of privilege was a little annoying -- Chaz talks about how he had to work for the money to have his top surgery done, but the "work" was first an advance on a book deal and then later an appearance somewhere. Both are things that the average person definitely wouldn't have the opportunity for.

There was a point when he was describing a woman and the first thing he said was that she was attractive. I'm not sure if it's me over-analyzing, but that kind of hyper-attention to physicality over, like, the substance of a person, felt indicative of his own physical gender-dysphoria and a big shallowness.

In another part of the book, he mentions living with a suspected nudist and says that her body wasn't the kind to make nudity enjoyable to the people around her. It's pretty cool that even as a FTM trans person, Chaz has still been able to internalize society's inherent misogyny with such ease.

Chaz read his own audiobook, but that might have been a mistake. His inflection/emphasis was hard to follow at time, with pauses in the middle of a sentence instead of at the end -- which can change the meaning of a sentence. It's like when you learn to read poems as a kid and you stop at the end of each line instead of actually listening to the words you're saying and reading them in a conversational way.

I'm glad that Chaz seems to be (or at least as of 2010 when this book was published) in a better place mentally, emotionally, and physically, but this memoir was kind of boring over all.

[Marianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book could have been so much more. There's not much written in the way of autobiographies/memoirs from a transgender so Chaz could have been a leader in this aspect. Instead, the writing was poor and the topics were just okay. Most of the book is about him growing up and about the time he was a lesbian. I thought more would be about his transition. I get that it's only written about 2 years after his transition so maybe that's why. He plugs his previous book a lot too, which i found annoying. I understand suffering from endometriosis must be painful but it doesn't make a great read in an autobiography. I kind of felt "so what? many women suffer from that. How are you different?" He didn't connect the endometriosis and painful periods to a detachment from his female body. In addition, i feel like he wrote this book only to make money. And even states that. He says that he couldn't afford one of his surgeries and had to borrow money. He knew he had this book deal coming out so he'd be able to pay them back.

[Darlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very in depth, informative, raw book. Chaz reaches down deep to address all aspects of his transition. Having a friend that has gone through much of this I found it helped me understand some of my own feelings about his need to transition and what he might have gone through. Though my friend was open in journaling his path Chaz help me to see much of it more clearly. Hearing about how his relationships changed, how his mother dealt with it, helped me to see my own feelings that I have been afraid to share. There is a difference. There is a need to mourn the loss, but it is fun to get to know the more energetic person who had been stuffed inside most of his life.

Thank you, Chaz.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of Chaz Bono's transition from female to male is an interesting tale. Those loooking for some kind of celebrity tell-all would be better off finding another kind of book. This one is light on the sensationalism and heavy on the truth and honesty.
I never was really interested in Chastity or Chaz. Didn't judge, just wasn't interested but I'm glad this book came across my desk. It opened my eyes to a story I might otherwise have missed. Chaz is a good storyteller..honest, clear without unnecessary drama.
Well done.

[Carol Drufke-Zeller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chaz really reveals to the reader who he is as a person, and why he made this choice. He shares some heart-wrenching details of his personal life with family, lovers and friends. He goes in depth into his psyche, and I feel he is validated in his choice. I found his book enlightening and his character genuine. I feel he made the best choice for him, even though it was a very long and agonizing battle. I respect him as a person, and feel this book can really enrich us all by sharing insight into the transgender population. Each of us is unique and deserve respect for who we are.

[Kelly_Hunsaker_reads ... · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am surprised by Chaz' open and honest telling of his story. I imagine that coming out is the hardest thing that most people will ever do in their lives. Doing so with so much public scrutiny must be even more difficult. Chaz lays himself bare sharing his story with frankness and strength. He allows the reader to come into his life and become his friend. I am very happy to have read his book and believe that I learned more about a family member I love who recently came out. I thank Chaz for that.

[Bridgett Johnson-Pride · Rating 3 out of 5]

For being a book titled Transition, I find it shocking that Chaz Bono only dedicated the last two chapters of his book to discuss the physical aspects of transitioning (hormone injections and top surgery). The entire work leading up to it, he talked about growing up neglected by Sonny and Cher, his mentally abusive nanny Helen and his addiction to pain killers. Not at all what I was hoping to get out of this work.

[drclevercat · Rating 2 out of 5]

of interest only if you are into Cher. Chaz has no real insight to offer regarding masculinity, transitioning, or being FTM. most of the writing is his life story, with lots of name-dropping (which is semi-interesting), prior to his coming to understand himself as trans. read/skimmed it in an afternoon.

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was hoping for less of a biography, and more of a focus on the transition. I have a friend who recently went through this, and have questions that I'm too embarrassed to ask. Instead Chaz focused on his life, his early identification with being a male, his friends, drug use, spoiled little rich kid problems.

[Babs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting and insightful read. Glad Chaz has found peace, support, and closure on this chapter of his journey. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Bravo Chaz for finally taking the lead and sharing it with others.

[Kirby R. · Rating 2 out of 5]

CW: Sexual harassment

I believe this book was cathartic for Chaz to produce. That is phenomenal, and I don't want to detract from that by any means. That does not mean, however, that what he produced was itself phenomenal.

Part of this is admittedly situational. Before reading Transition I read Kate Bornstein and Bear Bergmen's Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, which addresses large, complex, thought-provoking issues surrounding gender as a system. The two books, naturally, serve vastly different purposes, with one being a memoir and the other a collection of essays, and the result of reading the two back to back is that Transition is markedly more basic. Bono's text describes one view of the trans experience and spends very little time on the history or technicalities (as is expected, to be fair).

On a more striking note, Bono manages to flub the definition of gender, stating that gender and sex are synonymous whereas gender identity describes ones lived experience with, well, gender. I personally doubt that the blunder is the result in a change of appropriate terminology; it has been understood since the better half of the twentieth century that sex is a matter of one's anatomy while gender describes a largely restrictive social construct. Furthermore, to suggest that gender identity describes one's lived gender experience isn't necessarily wrong, it is just incomplete and opens the door to semantics in a similar vein to the term "preferred pronouns;" as opposed to "correct pronouns" or just "pronouns." To push it further, and use myself as an example, I am a guy, and I identify as a fan of Dragon Age. I would ordinarily not devote so much time to a single mistake, but given that Bono is penning a book on being trans, I feel it important to get the basics down for an uninitiated audience.

Which segues me into my next point: Given that this book is an autobiography, and given that Bono himself only came out in his late thirties and early forties, only a portion of it describes Bono's transition. Most of the book, therefore, describes events that happen to him before he came out to himself and, with the benefit of hindsight, details how certain behaviors of his were linked to him being trans. Some of these events on the whole, however, read as somewhat irrelevant to the direct transition. As a result, I believe the book is best read as a text on Bono's personal struggles in which his transition is a highly relevant factor. In a similar vein, the title should then refer to any and all changes in his life including his literal transition, making it, in my view, somewhat misleading.

But even then, my biggest complaint (on a technical level, anyway) is that you simply can't count on the book being interesting to read or even well written. This isn't the case for the whole of the book, but definitely enough of it to notice. The best example I can find of what I dislike about the writing style used is when Bono describes learning he was accepted into the High School of Performing Arts:

I nearly fell out of my chair. I couldn't believe I had really been accepted to Performing Arts. I was ecstatic. Randy [a family friend] and I started jumping up and down on the beds, and then later celebrated by ordering cheeseburgers and milkshakes from room service. I had set a goal and achieved it, a first for me. Four years later, I got into NYU/s drama department with that same monologue, though I ended up going to the film department instead. Not long after that, Randy was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident.

Bono's style is "tell, don't show:" it is often choppy and bland, and he frequently is unsure which details to include. Potentially, this is due to the book being co/ghost written. Regardless, it makes the book dull.

To these ends, my favorite section of the book is one of the few sections that was none of these things. Nearing the end of the book, Chaz describes an exchange between his then partner and him in which she is brutally antagonistic toward him concerning his desire to transition, and he stands his ground to the point of intense, palpable anger. This section is passionate and is an excellent example or potentially guide for remaining stalwart while expressing your needs, especially when coming out though it truly could apply to any similar situation (such as requesting therapy, boundaries, or privacy). This section made me consider giving the book a higher rating.

But I didn't, and that is largely for one reason. This book – be it Bono's actual thoughts or his ghostwriter's translation – is remarkably insensitive at times (though maybe that isn't the best word for it). Of this, two primary examples sum it up best.

He details his short lived music career in the book, and in this section, it is revealed that his girlfriend of the time, Heidi, was often sexually harassed by one of the producers of their album, Mark Hudson. To be fair, I know nothing about the production process of this book. That being said, I very much hope that he both got permission to discuss this from Heidi and that he did not use her actual name. Otherwise, it's really not his story to tell. In addition, there is one paragraph in particular that reads terribly:

We started recording our album in November, and the atmosphere in the studio was not fun to say the least. There seemed to be tension between everyone – Heidi and me, Heidi and Mark, and Mark and I. I also remember feeling like an outsider in the studio. Mark was completely focused on Heidi, who was completely focused on every aspect of the recording process. The two of them were either thick as thieves, both getting off on the music, or Mark was refusing to work because Heidi was refuting his advances. Nobody seemed to care much about my opinion or feelings. Except for when I was recording a track, I started to feel like I was just there to keep Mark from blatantly sexually harassing Heidi.

There are a few things I find egregious about this paragraph. It is ludicrous to suggest that Heidi and Mark were "thick as thieves:" they were the abused and the abuser with a monstrous power dynamic that rendered Heidi unable to escape. It is tasteless to use the phrase "getting off" when a major component of the paragraph is that Heidi is being sexually harassed and is essentially forced to grin and bear it so that their careers may have a chance. And perhaps most of all, it is asinine that Chaz attempts to paint himself as the victim with the woe-is-me line "Nobody seemed to care much about my opinion or feelings." I'm sure it was a difficult space in which he existed, and Heidi was hardly an angel to him throughout their relationship, but the pitiful tone of ostracism he takes on is reprehensible.

He continues with a similar energy later, lamenting how powerless he was in the situation and that now, with testosterone in his system, he'd be prepared to clock the man, and "Heidi... also has lingering resentments about everything that happened. If she had testosterone coursing through her veins, I'm sured she'd want to take a swing at Mark too." Once again, there are a few things of note here. Sure, he lacked power but he was hardly the most powerless party. Furthermore, I have no idea why Chaz felt the need to mention testosterone here. Everyone has testosterone "coursing through [their] veins" in some capacity. The lack of testosterone, however, in no way means Heidi would be unable to respond with anger or violence, and many individuals with higher levels of testosterone are victimized. The issues involved are hardly so simplistic as to be determined by one hormone.

This matter, ultimately, was not about him, and he addressed it poorly. I honestly don't know why it absolutely needed to be included.

The other glaring issue, content wise, I noticed first, when Chaz describes an old roommate of his. He states, "My housemate was nice but kind of odd – a nudist, I think, given her habit of walking around naked – but she didn't have the kind of body that made her nudity enjoyable." This is a double edged sword. On one end, it is incredibly gross for him to act as though this woman owes him anything. On the other, it is bafflingly insensitive to body shame someone in a book that is largely about him feeling uncomfortable in his own body and the steps he took to alleviate this discomfort. It completely undermines his message and, since it occurs early on, left a bad taste in my mouth for the rest of the book.

In sum, I would only read this book if you are a huge fan of Chaz Bono specifically, and even then, it'll be a dry and questionable venture at times. As I said up top, this book was therapeutic for him to write, and that is, in my mind, the most important part, as it mostly was not therapeutic to read. There are likely worse queer books out there, but I have not read them.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

You know, I didn't think this book was particularly well-written, or even that compelling for being a book about a woman becoming a man, but Chaz Bono seems like such a nice person, and he's so honest about his emotional turmoil as he accepts being transgendered, that I upped it to 3 stars. It's probably only a 2.5, but I think it's important that someone so well-known is being so open and honest about this topic. The book itself is fairly slight (240 pages), and half of it is about his growing up with Sonny and Cher, coming out as a lesbian when he was Chastity, drug abuse, and his growing discomfort in his own body as he approaches middle age. The second half is the emotional upheaval and ultimate peace with his decision to become a man, and he says he's sorrier he didn't make that decision sooner. His mother Cher is still coming to grips with it, but that's to be expected as a parent, right?

I was most curious about his documentary, "Becoming Chaz" that premiered on Oprah's OWN network, and I saw the Oprah show Chaz and his girlfriend were on, and he's more engaging in person than in print. The writing is pedantic, the stories kind of random (and because he hasn't accomplished much before he transitioned, frankly they were a little dull), the language uninteresting--all in all, not nearly as, again, compelling as a book of this kind should be. But I thought he conveyed his struggles with this decision, and how difficult it would be to be in a body that feels completely wrong to you, quite well. Honestly I would've liked more stories about how he's changed since he's become a man, and reflections on people treat him now that he's embraced who he was always meant to be.

Nevertheless, in a society where people are fearful, uninformed or confused about transgendered people, he's starting a dialog and educating folks. And that's something to be applauded.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won a paperback copy of this book through goodreads.com First Reads giveaway.

Now I read this book when it came out about a year ago and loved it. So the giveaway was for the release of the paperback version of the book which included a new epilogue.

So first of all, Chaz Bono is one of the most inspiring men on the planet, in my opinion anyway. I wanted to read this book because I am a supporter of GLBT community. I myself am straight, but I have gay friends and personally believe that everyone has the right to be happy no matter who they choose to live there life with. I cannot imagine what it must be like to live most of your life knowing that you belong in another body, or feeling like you should have another body. I mean sometimes I wake up in the morning and hate having to take so long shaving my legs/armpits, or having to endure putting on pantyhose (I mean COME ON who invented that deathly contraption anyway?) and I think to myself “wouldn't my life be so much easier if I was a man?” However, it occurs to me having read this book that there are probably millions of men out in the world who want to be women, and who would love the opportunity to wake up and have to shave there legs. It made me appreciate things like that which I take for granted (I still hate pantyhose though).

I loved how brave Chaz was for sharing his transition in a book and in his documentary. I loved learning more about him, and what he had to go through. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about Transitioning, just on a personal level, it didn't get into like too much medical details. I just thought it was really inspiring.

[Rue Baldry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've seen the reviews on here saying that this book was badly written, and I can accept their reasons, but I found this a lot easier to read and better written than some of the other trans* memoirs I've read/tried to read/started. (& not as well-written as others, granted). I actually liked Chaz's relaxed conversational tone and enjoyed spending time in his company.

His childhood was unique. As he says, America has replaced monarchy with celebrity, and they don't come any more celebrity royal than Sonny & Cher! As with Laura Jane Grace's very different memoir, the gender dysphoria was embedded so much in the early life that the life experiences and gender issues are entwined so both need to be related for either to be understood. And what a life! I found Chaz a very interesting man.

There are some good photos which fill out the stories in the text and lots of interesting life history in addition to the transition story, which was enlightening.

Chaz Bono's story and example are inspiring: coming out & facing tabloid intrusion for it twice, recovering from pain-killer addiction, coping with the sexual exploitation of the music industry (his girlfriend, Heidi's experience very relevant given Kesha's recent troubles), being an LGBT spokesperson and coping with having mega-famous parents to name just a few things.

There were over-simplifications and there was a tendency to generalise unhelpfully from his specifics, but overall a good, easy, informative read as far as I'm concerned.

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a touching view on the life of Chaz Bono, and the journey he has endured and faced to become the man he is today. There are moments that are so raw and touching that you can't help but empathise with the struggles that Chaz faced in the journey of self-acknowledgment and transition.

As someone who has never faced any journey relating to gender identity, I found this to be a very in depth book in understanding the struggles that a person faces when they are in the depths of questioning their gender. I know that there are people who do not appreciate this book as it covers less on the 'transitioning' part of Chaz's journey, and my thought is that Chaz's transitioning started from the moment he was born and the book covers Chaz's WHOLE transitioning process. Chaz did not wake up one day and say I want to be a man, it was a lifelong discovery. I feel the book delicately explained (and rightly so) that whether Chaz has had full reassignment surgery is private. Transitioning is not just about changing the body's physical structure, but also the hormonal and psychological structure and everybody's journey of transitioning is different.

I appreciated the insight of one transgender journey that Chaz has provided with his book, and I intend to understand other peoples journeys and know that they are different for everybody.
Thank you Chaz for helping to inform and support the world about transgender.

[Amy Yuki Vickers · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the sentence structure and wording is well done, this book could have benefited from some better organization. The book is roughly chronological, but also jumps around too much.

Chaz mentions a large number of relationships; family, friendships, girlfriends, but barely explores any of them. When he speaks about his relationships, in this book, he doesn't go much beyond whether or not the person accepts him (as a person, as gay, as transgendered).

Perhaps previous books had explored these relationships further and he felt that in this book, it was no longer necessary?

He does talk about his experiences and touches on his own feelings. However, I feel like way too much time was spent in defense mode; constantly defending his decision to transition. Perhaps that's just a reaction to having been persecuted for so many decades or having been put off by the idea of being transgendered himself. I didn't feel it was necessary to put energy into defending his decision beyond the first chapter or so.

Other than that, it wasn't a bad book. It held my attention, and I got to know a little bit more about Chaz and his family.

It's also the only celebrity written memoir I've ever read, so I don't have much basis for comparison.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chaz appears to be a really nice person! I think if I were to write a book based off of my life experiences, it would probably sound a lot like this book. It's pretty straightforward, the title says it all. It's not extremely complicated, or anything. Just Chaz talking about becoming a man, and his experience being a transgender person. Nothing extraordinary, just really honest and kind of sweet in a confessional way. The most insightful part of all it in my opinion is him talking about cultural differences between how women treat each other and how guys treat each other, sort of gender cultural differences. Parts of it made me cry, poor Chaz, constantly worrying about other's and how they will accept him, lots of relationships where his partners are not accepting of his gender, really a very difficult thing. Ultimately to me he feels like that nice quiet guy in high school who would kind of smile and be cool with everything. That sort of pleasant cool guy we all knew... I like Chaz! He's all right in my book.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed Chaz's book. His parents are the famous celebrities Sonny and Cher. Chaz said that he was very close to his father. He had some difficulties with his mother. Cher who has always been quite feminine, probably would have enjoyed a daughter who was more feminine, but Chaz was a tomboy as a child, then a lesbian, and then finally transformed himself into a man by having his uterus and breasts removed and the taking of male hormones. This transformation has been very difficult for the people who love Chaz to understand, but most seem to have generally admired his strength, and been supportive. He also had to do this in the public eye, and that too is quite a feat. I always liked Chaz, and in his book he also tells a bit about his life and the relationships he had. Although Chaz's book gives some enlightenment on the subject of transgender, I feel that in whatever capacity, it is always brave to be the person you are, and not allow others to dictate who they want you to be.