It's a swing and hard miss for my first horror read of the season, "The Pact," by Jason Starr, a supposed werewolf book. Let me start by saying- this is only kind of a werewolf book- it's mostly the story of an NYC hetero couple trying to have it all! I don't like it, but I at least understand when werewolf movies don't have amazing werewolf moments, after all that requires a big budget to pull off, but words are free- so there is no excuse for these lame werewolf books that I keep finding! Write some actual werewolf scenes in them!
Nothing happens for a long time in this book, starting with our protagonist Simon Burns being fired from his firm, and coming to terms with being a Mr. Mom to his son Jeremy. As nothing continues to drag on Simon meets a group of other stay-at-home-dads, Roman (a really hot Latino dad) Charlie (a really hot Waspy dad) and Michael (a really hot European dad). The author really wants us to know how attractive these guys are so Simon's thoughts and dialogue with these guys comes off about as butch as a client offering to help his plumber in a gay porn.
Cut to- something finally kinda happens- Simon is lured to Michael's loft for a special "homemade brew" and lots of steaks- but no side dishes. Simon soon wakes up naked in a field in New Jersey. Ok- here we go- but sadly no. For the next 200 tedious pages Simon tries to figure out what happened to him as he now has a heighten sense of hearing, seeing, and smelling,craves sex with his wife, and can't stop eating red meat and going jogging. This would be interesting if it were the first werewolf book ever written, but since it's not- these are just a bunch of werewolf cliches that we suffer through. Sadly, around page 255, of a 345 page book, I realize we aren't going to get a werewolf story at all.
Well, I guess the author realized the same thing, so the last 90 pages the wheels fly off this mess and we get werewolves everywhere! Suddenly Michael's gf, who has only briefly been seen in the book, is turned into a werewolf and becomes the book's villain in the third act. While reader's are flipping back to the front of the book to see who she even IS, she goes on the prowl down the streets of New York looking for a man to satisfy her new needs. This leads to us getting laugh out lines like this, "Olivia found that she wanted the guy's roast beef sandwich almost as badly as she wanted his body." Even though I could relate to this sentiment- it's a terrible line that is typical of the last 90 pages of this train wreck! Well, at least it's over for me, even though the jacket warns of a sequel.