Whacked: A Novel

by Jules Asner

From Jackie Collins to People magazine, authors and press alike have lauded Whacked as a dark and sexy guilty pleasure. Parade, Real Simple magazine, the New York Post, and the Houston Chronicle all selected Whacked as a summer reading pick, and author Jules Asner was featured everywhere from Good Morning America to the Los Angeles Times.

Life promises to be perfect for Dani Hale. She has an almost-perfect boyfriend named Dave and a dream job writing for the TV crime series Flesh and Bone that allows her to indulge her macabre forensic passions. But something isn't quite right with her relationship, and Dani-a wily and inventive snoop-learns that Dave's real creative talents are (1) lying and (2) cheating on her. Soon she is plunged into the world of Los Angeles singledom, enduring a battalion of bad dates with men whose peccadilloes would drive a lesser woman to kill. At her wit's end, Dani is driven to a dramatic extreme that is as shocking as it is sensible in the girl-eat-girl world of Hollywood.

Praised by critics as the perfect beach read, Jules Asner's Whacked is a wicked tale of relationships, betrayal, and very modern revenge.

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, Beach Reads, Mystery, Book Club

303 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Asner was born Julie Ann White in Tempe, Arizona, the daughter of Lee White, a furniture saleswoman. At the age of sixteen Jules was discovered at a modeling convention in Scottsdale, Arizona. She began her career as an Elite model. Jules and Cindy Crawford shared a bunkroom in the early years of her modeling career. In 1986, Jules graduated from McClintock High School in Tempe. She has earned a degree in politics and journalism from UCLA. On May 10, 2003 she married movie director Steven Soderbergh. Soderbergh often credits Asner with influencing his female characters

Reviews

[Lisa Knappen · Rating 1 out of 5]

i would give it zero stars if i could...utter crap

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've never despised a protagonist so much. I can't believe I actually finished this book - it was awful.

[Maya Carter]

Wish I had read the Entertainment Weekly (C- rating) or Kirkus reviews before I spent almost $30 on this book. The Kirkus review is on Barnes&Noble.com. It's very honest and to the point.

I realized - too late! - that all the insincere blurbs and puff pieces are just that. They are NOT REVIEWS. Behind the cool cover and the PR is a poorly written novel that is less than the sum of it's parts.

The book's an easy read but I found the main character unsympathetic and sort of tedious. The other characters are cardboard cutouts. I cannot even remember them, and I read the book a few days ago. I did find the ending surprising - mainly because it did not make any sense.

Surprisingly little 'dish' on Hollywood or anything else. The writer either has no interest or no eye for the kind of social and visual detail that make books like Bergdorf Blondes and Co. much fun.

But, again, nice cover!

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved reading this book, finished it in a weekend, blew off a lot of stuff I shouldn't have so I could spend time with Whacked by Jules Asner. The author intrigues me, I love her father but can't stand ET, didn't have high expectations for the book (hate the title), but got totally sucked in to it right from the get go (maybe cuz I live in LA, where the story's set?). The title and cover illustration initially seem like a total plot giveaway; it's brilliant how that's delayed for so long I forgot about expecting it to happen. I loved Brett Easton Ellis's American Psycho too when I read that, and then couldn't stand a second of re-reading or the movie years later... this book will most likely be the same, sharing the same product placement induced hilarity.

[Meghan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I thought it'd be one of those books where the main character grows at the end, realizes a great guy is right there, and live happily ever after. But no, she just gets crazier as the book goes on!
Some aspects of the book I really understood. I've had the ex boyfriend where you drive around, hoping to run into him "on accident". However, I didn't check his email and stalk all guys I went on one date with.
The ending started to get better, but fell a little flat. It was as if the writer wasn't sure what to do with the twist!

If you own it, give it a shot on a rainy day. But don't go buy it.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rating this book "Didn't like it" is being kind. I hated this book. The only reason I skimmed to the end (about 2/3 of the way through) is to see if the character grew at all. Nope, she finished the book as black-hearted and amoral as she started, even committing murder with no ill effects. I don't understand the point in a book where the character has no redeeming qualities, nor does she learn anything or grow in any way. I won't be reading any more of Ms. Asner's books. I wonder if she only got published because of her famous husband, Steve Soderberg.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that many of the reviews of this book are too harsh. Sure, the main character, Dani, isn't exactly someone I'd like in real life, but I don't need a likable character to enjoy a book. In fact, her irrational and neurotic behavior is what kept me interested. Plain and simple: A protagonist that is a hot mess is entertaining. I think it's the same rationale behind why people watch Jersey Shore , or why Charlie Sheen is such a popular topic of late. I thank Jen Lancaster's blog for the recommendation.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book on the plane from Japan to California and after finishing, napped and had terrible nightmares that I was Dani Hale. I woke up in cold sweats and was racked with an indescribable guilt for the rest of the flight. Good book, unexpected ending, fabulous character development. If you have ever thought about stalking an old boyfriend or sabotaging someone's relationship, read this book.

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was well-written and interesting, but I find I can't give it more than two stars. This is because I couldn't fathom why our heroine does most of the things she does. It's a first-person narrator who rarely explains what she's thinking. This would be fine if she wasn't perpetually doing things that made me wonder, "What is she thinking?" And the sudden twist at the end of the book was disconcerting rather than thrilling.

[Maureen B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't really say I read it because I only read about 2 chapters and stopped reading. Awful. Won't waste my time finishing it!

[Terri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh my goodness- what a waste of my time. almost stopped reading.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a good sex and the city meets CSI. THe plot has many twists and turns that make it truly unpredictable and hard to put down.

[Lauren Salamon · Rating 1 out of 5]

not good... the main character was obnoxious and got away with being a terrible person. I kept reading hoping the end would either have her get caught or at least become a better person... but no.

[Amanda J · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing was passable but the characters were awful. I'm not someone who has to have a book filled with good people and heroes, nor do I require a happy ending. But "ugh"... Somehow the villans were not only bad also boring.

[Roxanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is probably the first time I read an entire book without liking the protagonist. She has no moral compass and faces no consequences for her bad behavior. I wouldn't recommend reading unless you can borrow it.

[Danielle Crumlich · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re a person who doesn’t mind hearing about one person who always seems to have problems or an excuse for everything, this book is for you. It was not a horrible book and I was able to stay interested but I would not need to read it again. The ending was a surprise!

[Lacey Blodgett Grainger · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would give it a zero if I could. Have never hated a main character more.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my typical read. Great beach read though!

[Ece · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hardly ever give books such harsh ratings, but this book was an utter waste of my time. I couldn't even finish it.

[Cheyenne Mills · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read! I feel like I didn’t expect Dani to actually kill Chloe!

[Lacey Grainger · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would give it a zero if I could. Have never hated a main character more.

[David Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

good

[JESSICA KRASKI · Rating 3 out of 5]

Almost didn't finish it, gets interesting at the end but have to wait awhile to get there

[Amanda Kawski · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was very meh. I finished it because I wanted to see how it ended but I don’t think I’d recommend it to any of my friends.

[Stefanie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

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[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 Words that describe the book: Dating horror

3 Settings where it took place or characters you met:

1. Setting: Los Angeles, CA

2. Dani Hale—A writer for a TV crime show who has a passion for forensics, Dani is on the brink of success both professionally and personally. Not only does she have her first sole writing credit, but she suspects her boyfriend Dave might be getting ready to propose.

3. Dave—A director (mostly on TV shows), he's been Dani's boyfriend for a few years. Although she's convinced a proposal is near, Dave has not quite been the perfect boyfriend—a fact that Dani is about to discover when she starts to do a little snooping into Dave's life.

4 Things you liked and/or disliked about it:

1. I disliked how Dani acts throughout the book. She is forever hacking into e-mail accounts, answering machines, snooping in drawers and doing other things that are desperate, underhanded and just plain creepy.

2. I disliked how I was unsure whether this book was a supposed to be a satire of dating, a condemnation of Los Angeles, dark humor, or all of the above. I didn't think it succeeded at being ANY of these (and I'm not someone who shies away from dark humor). I didn't think this book worked at any level. Although I suspect Jules Asner probably knows this subject matter having been a model, an E! TV personality and the wife of director Steven Soderbergh, I didn't think the book was fun, wicked, clever or even well-written. If this book offers a true depiction of the LA lifestyle and dating scene, I feel sorry for everyone who lives there. For me, the only true "fun" of the book was seeing Asner drop names of real celebrities, but these fleeting moments are hardly worth slogging through the book.

3. I disliked Dani. She was a very unsympathetic character (as were pretty much all of the characters in the book). I started out tolerating her, then I started to dislike her, and, by the end, I flat-out loathed her.

4. I disliked the book. Did you pick up on that? I don't know why I was surprised at the ending. I guess I should have seen it coming, but I really hated the choices that Asner made with it. If nothing else, I wanted Dani to get her comeuppance.

5 Stars or less for your rating?

I'm giving the book 2 stars. Perhaps I'm taking the book too seriously, but I really don't think I am. I went into it expecting a fun, frothy read, but I didn't have fun reading it. And if this was meant to be a satire or condemnation of L.A. and its dating scene, I don't think it worked. The writing was just OK; it had a very mechanical and clunky feel to it.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I added "Whacked" to my to-read list after seeing Jen Lancaster recommend it in her blog. After I picked it up, though, I wasn't so sure - some of the reviews I skimmed pegged it as an awful read.

I think the reviews are a little unfair though; so many of them complain about how unlikeable the main character is. It's true, Dani isn't the best or most relatable character I've read, but her motivations are always pretty clear - she's not being mean or devious for no reason. Does a book have to have a nice, normal main character to be good? And honestly, anyone who's had a bad day can probably relate to Dani; she acts how most of us only dream of acting on our worst days and does it with aplomb, like it's the most normal thing ever.

Overall, I actually liked it. The pace was a bit different from most novels, which I appreciated, and I think Asner did a nice job keeping the story moving (via a few subplots) despite that the true action doesn't happen until fairly late in the book.

I'm honestly a little baffled why at some of the vehemence of the reviews, and I don't read too much fluffy fiction these days. A) the title of the book is "Whacked" - you're obviously not picking up a thought-provoking, serious piece of literature here. And B) it was written by Jules Asner of E! fame. Again, not sure why you expected something less then ephemeral. Read it for what it is - a fluffy, chick lit beach read - and adjust your expectations accordingly. It's a bit like watching E!, actually. Something mindless but fun, requiring little thought but still entertaining for awhile.

[Christina M Rau · Rating 2 out of 5]

Here's one of those Hollywood insider books, written by someone in the industry who knows the lingo. So it's believable in that way. The main character is a writer for a CSI-like show and she's obsessed with crime scenes. It begins with a fascinating retelling of Marilyn Monroe's mysterious death. Then it moves into the character more and her Weight Watchers plan.

Fine, okay, lots of women could relate to being on a diet so I let it slide. Then it went into her checking into her boyfriend's email and using his password. So maybe this is why it's called Whacked.

Then it gets nutty. Too nutty for me. The narration is first person so the sympathy or compassion or empathy for the character is confusing and misplaced. We start to see what she's up to little by little because we're inside her head, from her own view, and I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be outside of her. I've never been a whacked out girl to that capacity and I started hating her, hating the book.

The story redeemed itself with some of the dates she went on with whacked out men. That made me remember that sometimes women do stupid things because of the encounters they have with the dating world. But then her whackness came out and I couldn't deal.

The last maybe 20 pages got interesting, but simultaneously, they were irritating. I hated hated hated the ending. Hated it.

[Sara Strand · Rating 1 out of 5]

Now I'll tell you---I didn't like the book. I read it and finished it, but didn't like it. For a various of reasons.

Number 1- I thought the characters were lame. They were predictable and you just couldn't like any of them. Dani is an idiot. She would be like that one friend you know you have who is constantly bitching about everything but refuses to do anything about it. Ever. We all have a friend like that and avoid his/her phone calls.

Number 2- Dave is a fuckhead. You KNOW he's cheating on her. Any idiot with half a brain and experience watching daytime talk shows and/or Law & Order could figure that out. And what I thought was ridiculous is when Dani figures it out, she looks through his phone that's just laying out on the counter. He gets mad. Well dang- OF COURSE she's going to look through his phone. Or a fucking moron wouldn't if you pretty much know he's cheating and are too stupid to figure it out.

Number 3- The ending was lame. I thought it was lame. It felt like the author just kind of got sick of writing and figured "good enough". I was kind of pissy.

It's definitely not a book I would re-read, I wouldn't even suggest it for book club. It's kind of blah. Expect this one to show up in Goodwills, Salvation Army and yard sales soon.

[Kolleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this book, and at the time I bought it, I was already a little embarrassed that I had any interest in it. The more I looked at it sitting on my shelf, the more embarrassed I got and the more hatred I developed towards it. Then I realized who the author was, Jules Asner! Jules Anser?! Isn't she the bikini girl who hosted Wild On E!? Well, once I realized this, I didn't want to pick up the book at all, but alas, I did in hopes of it being a pleasant surprise.

I was wrong. Literally, I didn't make it past chapter 1. I quit at the very end of that chapter. Dani, the main character, was so ridiculous that I couldn't handle it. And Mr. Softy? Come on now! This book, not that I read all that much of it, reminded me of something an angry girl in their preteens would write. The writing was just ridiculous, the plot was predictable, and how anyone ever published a book by someone that was so clearly inept is beyond me. UGH! Pass on this one please!