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Communication and Interpersonal Relationships: How to Say What You Mean to Say
From the Preface:
This is a book about the uses and effects of your communication techniques in your relationships with people who are close to you. Words are so important a part of what we do, what we think and what creates the bonds between us, that our lives truly are controlled and defined by them. How we use words and to what purpose we use them, determines the types of people we are.
These exercises will help you relate to others in ways that will allow you to understand what you both are feeling and saying. They were designed for teenagers.
This is not a textbook to be used in a school. Most of the techniques presented are too complicated for classroom use.
Chapters include Eye Contact, How Not to be a Bore, I Can Top That, Understanding Other People's Point of View, How to Disagree, and more.
Grade: 6 and up
This is a book about the uses and effects of your communication techniques in your relationships with people who are close to you. Words are so important a part of what we do, what we think and what creates the bonds between us, that our lives truly are controlled and defined by them. How we use words and to what purpose we use them, determines the types of people we are.
These exercises will help you relate to others in ways that will allow you to understand what you both are feeling and saying. They were designed for teenagers.
This is not a textbook to be used in a school. Most of the techniques presented are too complicated for classroom use.
Chapters include Eye Contact, How Not to be a Bore, I Can Top That, Understanding Other People's Point of View, How to Disagree, and more.
Grade: 6 and up
66 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
November 2, 2017
"But what about socialization?!"
Any time I talk about being homeschooled, that question is lurking in the background. Yes, even now, people still occasionally feel the need to bring this up to me, as if:
1) I could do anything about it at this point.
2) I'm not already cheerful, pleasant, intelligent, polite, and (overall) emotionally healthy.* **
3) Spending more time with the most important socializing agent (the family) and less with peers is somehow going to produce social mutants.***
So, while I would be the last person to say that lack of socialization is a problem for homeschooled kids, I think it's a given that most people (including those who were public schooled), have areas in which they could improve how they interact with others.
Enter this book.
From explaining simple concepts like the appropriate level of eye contact, to more involved processes like how to make the best impression during a job interview, Communication and Interpersonal Relationships covers the behind-the-scenes aspects of how we interact with others. Granted, some of the points were things I already knew, but for every one of those there were at least three "I'd never thought of it that way!"s and another two "Huh. Wow." moments.
At only 67 pages, this book is well worth the read. And if you somehow manage to master every single concept covered, you'll be leagues ahead of most people as far as interpersonal skills go. (And they go a long way.)
"But wait! You only gave it three stars!" you say. Yes, I did. According to Goodreads, this means I "liked it," but did not "really like it." Let me tell you why:
1) I didn't do the exercises. Part of this was due to the fact that I am not in high school, and therefore this is not part of my curriculum for high school. But the main reason is that most of the exercises are either 1) super involved or 2) force you to be a jerk to people in order to demonstrate why you should NEVER act that way. Umm, no thanks.
2) It needed some editing. There were sections where I was genuinely confused about what he was saying, and eventually came to the conclusion that either he'd accidentally deleted a paragraph that he'd intended to leave, or hadn't deleted/moved a paragraph that he should have. However, my book is copyright 1996-2000, so maybe there's been an updated edition since then?
If you're considering using this with one of your children, perhaps consider going through it with them, deciding which exercises will be valuable for him or her, and helping to explain any confusing areas. It's worth the read, and I think just about anyone could pick up something useful from this little book. (Also, who doesn't like books with parrots on the cover? And there's a BABY!)
Footnotes
*You might say, "Umm okay it's one thing to say that but how do you know that you have those traits?" You're right, of course. In one sense, it's impossible for me to know exactly how people perceive me. However, the fact that they even ask this question reveals a level of comfort in the relationship and confidence in my ability to address potentially offensive questions (they are, after all, implying that I wasn't properly socialized) in a polite/mature manner that would be impossible if I was lacking in social skills.
**Please note that I'm not saying that not weird AT ALL, because that would be untruthful and also boring. In some respects I am odd, but those are cases where I'm choosing to violate norms, not because I'm unaware of what's expected.
***When I figure out the logic on that one, I'll let you know.
Any time I talk about being homeschooled, that question is lurking in the background. Yes, even now, people still occasionally feel the need to bring this up to me, as if:
1) I could do anything about it at this point.
2) I'm not already cheerful, pleasant, intelligent, polite, and (overall) emotionally healthy.* **
3) Spending more time with the most important socializing agent (the family) and less with peers is somehow going to produce social mutants.***
So, while I would be the last person to say that lack of socialization is a problem for homeschooled kids, I think it's a given that most people (including those who were public schooled), have areas in which they could improve how they interact with others.
Enter this book.
From explaining simple concepts like the appropriate level of eye contact, to more involved processes like how to make the best impression during a job interview, Communication and Interpersonal Relationships covers the behind-the-scenes aspects of how we interact with others. Granted, some of the points were things I already knew, but for every one of those there were at least three "I'd never thought of it that way!"s and another two "Huh. Wow." moments.
At only 67 pages, this book is well worth the read. And if you somehow manage to master every single concept covered, you'll be leagues ahead of most people as far as interpersonal skills go. (And they go a long way.)
"But wait! You only gave it three stars!" you say. Yes, I did. According to Goodreads, this means I "liked it," but did not "really like it." Let me tell you why:
1) I didn't do the exercises. Part of this was due to the fact that I am not in high school, and therefore this is not part of my curriculum for high school. But the main reason is that most of the exercises are either 1) super involved or 2) force you to be a jerk to people in order to demonstrate why you should NEVER act that way. Umm, no thanks.
2) It needed some editing. There were sections where I was genuinely confused about what he was saying, and eventually came to the conclusion that either he'd accidentally deleted a paragraph that he'd intended to leave, or hadn't deleted/moved a paragraph that he should have. However, my book is copyright 1996-2000, so maybe there's been an updated edition since then?
If you're considering using this with one of your children, perhaps consider going through it with them, deciding which exercises will be valuable for him or her, and helping to explain any confusing areas. It's worth the read, and I think just about anyone could pick up something useful from this little book. (Also, who doesn't like books with parrots on the cover? And there's a BABY!)
Footnotes
*You might say, "Umm okay it's one thing to say that but how do you know that you have those traits?" You're right, of course. In one sense, it's impossible for me to know exactly how people perceive me. However, the fact that they even ask this question reveals a level of comfort in the relationship and confidence in my ability to address potentially offensive questions (they are, after all, implying that I wasn't properly socialized) in a polite/mature manner that would be impossible if I was lacking in social skills.
**Please note that I'm not saying that not weird AT ALL, because that would be untruthful and also boring. In some respects I am odd, but those are cases where I'm choosing to violate norms, not because I'm unaware of what's expected.
***When I figure out the logic on that one, I'll let you know.
Displaying 1 of 1 review