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First published February 1, 2006
When you miss most of the story and only walk in for the finale, you’re not usually moved to tears.
I told my friend, “only a child gets excited over watching a butterfly.”
But then he turned to me and said, “So does God.”
…And each promise, each prediction, each prophecy shed more light and more mystery on this figure: he would be God; he would be a man. He would be a King; he would be a servant. He would be both a lion and a lamb, both a sword and a shield, both a conqueror and the conquered one… they dreamt of him. They longed for him. They spoke of him from generation to generation. At mealtimes and around campfires and long lonely desert journeys, they told of him. Promises of his coming echoed through their days. Every ritual, every prayer, every prophecy was another reminder.
…how much we like to distort to the truth to our advantage, take credit for what we haven’t done, have our way at any cost, belittle those who disagree with us, step on those who get in our way, evade, excuse, attack, justify, rationalize, indulge in our fantasies, and look for loopholes…every choice we make forges another link on yet another internal chain that leads either toward freedom or death, toward heaven or hell. You can’t tell the history of Israel without chains. You can’t tell the history of humanity without mentioning blood and terror and longing and slavery. And you’ll never understand Easter without first seeing the chains in your own heart. Here is the paradox of the thing we call freedom: the farther we wander from God and the more we try to break free from him, the more enchained we become. Every step we take away from him leads us further from the freedom of Jesus and closer to the cruelty of Cain.
“Well, it’s a good world. A wonderful place, actually where haling can be found even in the deepest of our wounds… and yet…”
“And yet?”
“Yes it’s a painful and pain-filled world where scars appear on the souls of even the greatest of our saints… We’ve tried over and over. And we’ve failed. Over and over. So we tell ourselves that trying to be good is good enough, even though we know it’s not. And we tell ourselves to feel good, even though we know we are not good.”
“So you live an illusion?”
… Here’s what I’ve discovered about myself: hunger for the eternal is maddening when I leave God out of the picture. Without God in the equation, I’m left only with a confusing pile of piercing longings and nothing real to connect them to.
God coaxed them [during Old Testament times] with his promises, he clobbered them with hs threats, but still they wouldn’t turn back wholeheartedly to him. Even when he forgave them, restored them, protected them, and rescued them, they rejected him all over again, their sous asleep to his presence. As in a fairy tale, they slept. Season after season, encircled by thorns. Sometimes they awakened for a brief moment and changed their ways and returned to their first love for a while, then all too soon, they closed their eyes once again and dozed off as the thorns encircled them and tightened around their hearts….
Why is He so silent? If God really loves us with an everlasting love, with an unfailing and enduring and magnificent love, then shouldn’t’ he be more visible? Shouldn’t he splinter the silence more often? Welcome to the riddle of the universe…
I can’t think of a single place in the whole Bible where God actually explained his silence. I can think of lots of times when people asked him to, but I’m not sure if he ever did. I don’t know why God is so silent. I really don’t know. I do know that none of those men – David, Jesus or Job – gave up on God. And God never gave up on them.
When you listen to a song, you only hear the harmony because of the emptiness between the notes. If the song is too full of notes, it becomes nothing but noise. To hear the harmony you have to let the silences have their place in the song. It’s like each note is apart upon a necklace and the silences are what strong them all together. Maybe God knows that without his silences in our lives, we will never hear the melody of faith.
I think in every person’s life a day comes when faith becomes a choice. You can either give up on the silence of God or choose to trust him in the dark as Jesus did while he was dying on the cross.
There’s a Jewish saying, “God created man because he loves stories.” …but not only does God love stories, he loved the people whose stories are being told moment by moment across the globe. And I’m amazed that they story of my choices, mistakes, regrets – the story of my life – actually matters to God… we only connect with other people when we know their stories. The more intimate we are, the more our stories intertwine… When Jesus was born, the Word of God became flesh, enmeshed in a story. The storyteller entered the tale. The author stepped onto the page.
Jesus told stories because he knew humans are rarely interested in truth unless it’s wrapped up in a story. Most of his stories were parables of heaven. He described the kingdom of heaven in terms of shepherds who would risk their lives for their sheep, women who can’t find enough excuses to celebrate with their girlfriends, and fathers who party till dawn with their wayward sons.
If you can make sense of Jesus, explain him, define him, or make him sound rasoable, my guess if you’ve never actually met him. Afer all, his closed friends didn’t understand him, the religious leaders thought he was possessed by demons, and his own family thought he’d gone insane…I guess that’s what happens when God dresses in skin, when heaven’s wisdom speaks human words.
…and the paradox of love is that you uncover me as you unveil yourself… when you prod at him, he prods at you. And when you finally meet him face to face, he’ll shake your world – hardened criminals have been known to fall to their knees, shield their eyes, tremble, and weep at this feet. That’s what happens when the veil is lifted…
Theology is the greatest threat to spiritual pilgrims when it becomes the game of defining God and gets in the way of letting God define you. I think the wonder tales – fantasy and fairy tales – lie closer to the heart of the Easter story because they acknowledge the reality of good and evil, the battle between right and wrong, and the wonder of the world where dreams actually come true… Philosophy has given us questions; science has given us facts. But neither of those fills our souls. Jesus gives both truth hidden in mystery and mystery hidden in truth….
the text of my life is in need of editing
enter between the lines
pick up the pen of your love
let your mystery engulf my heart,
rewrite me.
reveal yourself to me
even it means that
i must disappear into you.
Maybe its just a coincidence that Jeuss chose to kick off his public ministry by attending a wedding, but I doubt it. The more I learn about him, the fewer coincidences I see… After kicking off his ministry, does he found a church? Nope. Apply for nonprofit status? Nope. Go door to door peddling his worldview? Nope. Instead he goes to a wedding and turns 150 gallons of water into the best wine money can buy, just to keep the party going.
…But in truth, he’s more like impassioned you lover swinging his brdie across the dance floor. Jsuss didn’t arrive on earth to debate theology but to propose marriage. In a very real spiritual sense, God is courting us. Christianity is wild. It’s intimate. It’s heartbreaking and soul-mending. It’s the wings to rise above the everyday and the hope of a honeymoon with the God who has loved you forever. The party has just begun, and the best is yet to come.
The more we demand that God prove himself and make senese to us, the less he will. The door to the miraculous swings on faith.
”Follow me,” he told his disciples. Follow me, he told the spiritually hungry. Follow me, he told the thieves, prostitutes, lawyers, and priests. Follow me, he whispers to us today. Where? Toward what? Toward the corss. The road Jesus walks leads all the way to the cross. It’s there that old lives, old priorites, old selves have to be put to death. Follow me, he says. It’s both an invitation and command. And he waits only a moment to see what we will do. Jesus in the business of pursuing the lost but not of dragging them kicking and screaming into the kingdom…. Today…they try to make Christianity seem as appealing, plausible, relevant, and easy to digest as possible by emphasizing the benefits of belief. But Jesus almost never did that. Typically he emphasized the cost of following him, not the rewards… that’s why he was blunt with the crowds. Jesus didn’t want a fan club. He wanted a spiritual revolution.
The Old Covenant is completed, the New Covenant is here….I think the key to fathoming Jesus’ meaning lies in that little world “my.” When Jesus says “this is my body” and “this is my blood” he’s recasting the whole story. The disciples would never have associated the bread and wine with Jesus but rather with the sacrificial lamb.
In [the garden] of Eden there wasn’t much of a struggle. Adam and Eve gave in pretty quickly to temptation. They chose to go their ow way rather than their Father’s. But here, on this night, in this garden, Jesus chose the Father’s way, the way of the cross…. I think we all reach the question of the garden at some point in our lives. A moment comes when we hav to decide; Will I go my way or God’s?
It’s politically correct to say that God is love, but not te say that God showed his love by dying for us…. Our culture seems to think that the open-minded are those wo remain indecisive about God and that religious people are close-minded. But in reality it’s just the opposite.
This whole story now has become more like an enfleshed fairy tale than a history lesson: ancient prophecies coming true, miraculous signs unfolding in a faraway land, magical weddings, demon possessions, mystical meals, an ancient dragon whom the prince has come to vanquish, midnight betrayals, a lover dying for his beloved. And now, a love that death cannot contain.
Didn’t the angels say something like “peace on earth, goodwill toward men?”… “well, why isn’t there peace on earth?” … As long as there are greedy, grabby, power hungry mean people on this planet, peace between nations isn’t going to happen. And as long as our hearts fight against God, we aren’t going to have peace in our lives…. I didn’t use to think I was at war with God. I didn’t used to think I was at war with anybody. But when I met Jesus and heard him say “follow me” I realized every time I didn’t follow him, I was fighting God. Every time I chose to go my way instead of his or to think of myself first instead of others or to flirt with temptation – or basically to act as I had been acting my whole life – I was battling the almighty.
Realizing how deeply rooted your war with God is can shake you up. I’m still reeling from that discovery. The angels were right. He came to bring peace; its just that our definition of peace is all messed up…. The peace Jesus offers isn’t the absence of conflict; it’s the adventure of knowing God’s presence moment by moment forever. It’s a deeper peace than the world can offer – peace with God.
The more we cling to this life, the more we wrap ourselves in its shallow comforts, the more death will bite when she comes to call. But the more we let Jesus untangle us from the baggage of life, the freer we’ll be to become vagabonds of heaven.